Drive On: Helping Veterans Navigate PTSD & Life After Military Service Castos https://driveonpodcast.com Are you a veteran struggling with PTSD, combat stress, or adjusting to civilian life? Tired of feeling isolated and unsure where to turn for support? You deserve solutions from mental health experts, veteran nonprofits, and fellow veterans who truly understand what you're facing. Each week, host Scott DeLuzio, an Army veteran and Gold Star Brother, shares interviews and practical steps to help you regain purpose, rebuild confidence, and thrive after military service. Find hope and take the next step forward. Tue, 31 Mar 2026 11:30:00 +0000 en-US © 2019-2026 Drive On Podcast US https://episodes.castos.com/driveonpodcast/images/podcast/covers/c1a-739j-pkw7wzdzcwro-ilhvyp.jpg Drive On: Helping Veterans Navigate PTSD & Life After Military Service https://driveonpodcast.com Are you a veteran struggling with PTSD, combat stress, or adjusting to civilian life? Tired of feeling isolated and unsure where to turn for support? You deserve solutions from mental health experts, veteran nonprofits, and fellow veterans who truly understand what you're facing. Each week, host Scott DeLuzio, an Army veteran and Gold Star Brother, shares interviews and practical steps to help you regain purpose, rebuild confidence, and thrive after military service. Find hope and take the next step forward. Scott DeLuzio episodic Are you a veteran struggling with PTSD, combat stress, or adjusting to civilian life? Tired of feeling isolated and unsure where to turn for support? You deserve solutions from mental health experts, veteran nonprofits, and fellow veterans who truly understand what you're facing. Each week, host Scott DeLuzio, an Army veteran and Gold Star Brother, shares interviews and practical steps to help you regain purpose, rebuild confidence, and thrive after military service. Find hope and take the next step forward. Drive On Podcast scott@driveonpodcast.com false https://feeds.castos.com/xoz1 yes <![CDATA[What Keeps Vets Alive After Service]]> Tue, 31 Mar 2026 11:30:00 +0000 Scott DeLuzio https://permalink.castos.com/podcast/2296/episode/2372304 The stress does not stay at work. It follows you into your sleep, your marriage, and your patience with your kids. Guest, Johnnie Gilpen, talks about a stretch in pediatric emergency medicine where he lost six kids in a short time and had to face a direct question from a colleague about how he was coping. He explains the three supports he relies on: faith, three people he can call without hesitation, and counseling plus honest conversation. He connects it to a simple military idea, the three-man foxhole, and shows how to set that up in civilian life so you are not isolated when things get heavy. He closes with writing and storytelling, including Warhorse Journal, and how putting events on paper can help your spouse understand what you have not been able to say out loud.

Timestamps:

  • 03:15: Losing six kids fast and the coping question
  • 04:45: The three supports he uses every time
  • 06:15: A Vietnam-era dad and the cost of staying silent
  • 11:00: Building a three-person call list and using it early
  • 28:30: Writing small stories that change home life

Links & Resources

Transcript

View the transcript for this episode.

]]> full 568 false The stress does not stay at work. It follows you into your sleep, your marriage, and your patience with your kids. Guest, Johnnie Gilpen, talks about a stretch in pediatric emergency medicine where he lost six kids in a short time and had to face a direct question from a colleague about how he was coping. He explains the three supports he relies on: faith, three people he can call without hesitation, and counseling plus honest conversation. He connects it to a simple military idea, the three-man foxhole, and shows how to set that up in civilian life so you are not isolated when things get heavy. He closes with writing and storytelling, including Warhorse Journal, and how putting events on paper can help your spouse understand what you have not been able to say out loud.

Timestamps:

  • 03:15: Losing six kids fast and the coping question
  • 04:45: The three supports he uses every time
  • 06:15: A Vietnam-era dad and the cost of staying silent
  • 11:00: Building a three-person call list and using it early
  • 28:30: Writing small stories that change home life

Links & Resources

Transcript

View the transcript for this episode.

]]> 00:44:05 <![CDATA[A Veteran Uses Poetry To Process]]> Tue, 24 Mar 2026 11:30:00 +0000 Scott DeLuzio https://permalink.castos.com/podcast/2296/episode/2372268 A civilian job can pay well and still leave a veteran feeling irritated and restless by the end of the day. Alan Brown breaks down the parts of military life that disappear first after retirement: the uniform, the PT, the daily contact with soldiers, and the built in group that understands the standard without a long explanation. He retired in January 2020 after 23 years in the Army, and he describes the mix of frustration and trial and error that followed while he searched for work that felt like it mattered. The conversation also gets practical. Alan explains how he uses writing as a focused way to slow down and sort out memories from active duty and the pressure of family life. He spent the summer of 2025 revising poems he wrote years earlier, then published a collection in September 2025 on Amazon titled When the Uniform No Longer Fits: Reflections on Military Service, Family, and Being a Veteran. Many of the poems are autobiographical and written for veterans, active duty service members, and family members who want a clearer view of what service leaves behind. Key moments are below.

Timestamps:

  • 01:30: Retired after 23 years and still sorting out the next job
  • 08:12: The loss of camaraderie
  • 16:30: Working at full speed while coworkers move slower and the anger that builds
  • 17:00: Writing started in college and turned into a way to put thoughts on the page
  • 35:52: When the Uniform No Longer Fits

Links & Resources

Transcript

View the transcript for this episode.

]]> full 567 false A civilian job can pay well and still leave a veteran feeling irritated and restless by the end of the day. Alan Brown breaks down the parts of military life that disappear first after retirement: the uniform, the PT, the daily contact with soldiers, and the built in group that understands the standard without a long explanation. He retired in January 2020 after 23 years in the Army, and he describes the mix of frustration and trial and error that followed while he searched for work that felt like it mattered. The conversation also gets practical. Alan explains how he uses writing as a focused way to slow down and sort out memories from active duty and the pressure of family life. He spent the summer of 2025 revising poems he wrote years earlier, then published a collection in September 2025 on Amazon titled When the Uniform No Longer Fits: Reflections on Military Service, Family, and Being a Veteran. Many of the poems are autobiographical and written for veterans, active duty service members, and family members who want a clearer view of what service leaves behind. Key moments are below.

Timestamps:

  • 01:30: Retired after 23 years and still sorting out the next job
  • 08:12: The loss of camaraderie
  • 16:30: Working at full speed while coworkers move slower and the anger that builds
  • 17:00: Writing started in college and turned into a way to put thoughts on the page
  • 35:52: When the Uniform No Longer Fits

Links & Resources

Transcript

View the transcript for this episode.

]]> 00:50:14 <![CDATA[A Good Death Starts Today]]> Tue, 17 Mar 2026 11:30:00 +0000 Scott DeLuzio https://permalink.castos.com/podcast/2296/episode/2345241 Hospitals can strip you down fast, not just physically, but mentally. You walk in hurting, and the system can make you feel lucky to be there at all. Dr. Pamela Pyle trained inside a VA hospital where camaraderie filled open wards, and she has spent decades watching what helps people fight for better care, and what quietly breaks them.

This conversation gets practical fast: why the first answer is often no, how to push past it, how to get a second opinion, and how to walk in with a plan so you do not leave feeling powerless.

Then it turns personal and heavy in the best way, with the moment a dying patient gave her a phrase that changed everything: a good death is built by how you live right now. If you are carrying depression, PTSD, or that numb, isolated feeling where it takes everything just to make it to tomorrow, you will also hear real treatment hope, plus a peer-to-peer tool built for the moments when talking to your spouse or a clinician feels impossible.

Timestamps:

  • 14:30 - The "stripping" effect that steals your control the moment you enter the system
  • 17:00 - Knowledge is power, the questions that change your care and your confidence
  • 19:45 - A patient's final words that reshaped how to live with purpose now
  • 31:30 - PTSD and depression treatment hope, including EMDR and newer options she's seeing
  • 32:45 - White Flag App, peer support in your lane when you need an assist right away

Links & Resources

Transcript

View the transcript for this episode.

]]> full 566 false Hospitals can strip you down fast, not just physically, but mentally. You walk in hurting, and the system can make you feel lucky to be there at all. Dr. Pamela Pyle trained inside a VA hospital where camaraderie filled open wards, and she has spent decades watching what helps people fight for better care, and what quietly breaks them.

This conversation gets practical fast: why the first answer is often no, how to push past it, how to get a second opinion, and how to walk in with a plan so you do not leave feeling powerless.

Then it turns personal and heavy in the best way, with the moment a dying patient gave her a phrase that changed everything: a good death is built by how you live right now. If you are carrying depression, PTSD, or that numb, isolated feeling where it takes everything just to make it to tomorrow, you will also hear real treatment hope, plus a peer-to-peer tool built for the moments when talking to your spouse or a clinician feels impossible.

Timestamps:

  • 14:30 - The "stripping" effect that steals your control the moment you enter the system
  • 17:00 - Knowledge is power, the questions that change your care and your confidence
  • 19:45 - A patient's final words that reshaped how to live with purpose now
  • 31:30 - PTSD and depression treatment hope, including EMDR and newer options she's seeing
  • 32:45 - White Flag App, peer support in your lane when you need an assist right away

Links & Resources

Transcript

View the transcript for this episode.

]]> 00:44:55 <![CDATA[TAPS Suicide Prevention And Postvention]]> Tue, 10 Mar 2026 11:30:00 +0000 Scott DeLuzio https://permalink.castos.com/podcast/2296/episode/2345233 Home should feel like the safe part. For many veterans, it is the opposite. The noise is gone, the mission is gone, and the people around you might not know how to read the signs when you are running low. That is where isolation starts, and isolation is where things can get dangerous fast.

This conversation pulls you into the real stakes of suicide prevention through the eyes of someone who has lived the aftermath. You will hear why suicide loss hits far beyond one household, why "I do not want to say the wrong thing" keeps too many of us quiet, and how a simple, direct question can create enough space for a crisis to settle. Carla also shares how her own story began: a young Marine wife, pregnant, then suddenly a widow, trying to survive grief, trauma, and a community that did not know what to do with suicide loss.

If you have ever worried about a buddy, a spouse, a coworker, or yourself, this gives you a grounded way to think about the next right move. You do not need a title or a uniform to help save a life. You need connection, a willingness to ask, and a plan to get to the next level of support.

Timestamps:

  • 07:45: One death, 135 people impacted, and why that number changes how you show up
  • 17:30: Pregnant, widowed, and suddenly alone, how suicide loss cut her off from the community
  • 26:30: "Are you thinking about suicide?" Why asking it out loud is the turning point
  • 36:59: The myth that "nothing can stop it," and what actually helps in a crisis
  • 52:39: The Military Mentor Program, purpose and connection for veterans who want to give back

Links & Resources

Transcript

View the transcript for this episode.

]]> full 565 false Home should feel like the safe part. For many veterans, it is the opposite. The noise is gone, the mission is gone, and the people around you might not know how to read the signs when you are running low. That is where isolation starts, and isolation is where things can get dangerous fast.

This conversation pulls you into the real stakes of suicide prevention through the eyes of someone who has lived the aftermath. You will hear why suicide loss hits far beyond one household, why "I do not want to say the wrong thing" keeps too many of us quiet, and how a simple, direct question can create enough space for a crisis to settle. Carla also shares how her own story began: a young Marine wife, pregnant, then suddenly a widow, trying to survive grief, trauma, and a community that did not know what to do with suicide loss.

If you have ever worried about a buddy, a spouse, a coworker, or yourself, this gives you a grounded way to think about the next right move. You do not need a title or a uniform to help save a life. You need connection, a willingness to ask, and a plan to get to the next level of support.

Timestamps:

  • 07:45: One death, 135 people impacted, and why that number changes how you show up
  • 17:30: Pregnant, widowed, and suddenly alone, how suicide loss cut her off from the community
  • 26:30: "Are you thinking about suicide?" Why asking it out loud is the turning point
  • 36:59: The myth that "nothing can stop it," and what actually helps in a crisis
  • 52:39: The Military Mentor Program, purpose and connection for veterans who want to give back

Links & Resources

Transcript

View the transcript for this episode.

]]> 00:56:33 <![CDATA[Free VA Eye Care Most Vets Don't Know About]]> Tue, 03 Mar 2026 11:30:00 +0000 Scott DeLuzio https://permalink.castos.com/podcast/2296/episode/2383849 A lot of veterans grind through blurry vision, eye strain, and overpriced frames because nobody ever told them the VA can cover eye exams and prescription glasses. This episode puts that benefit in plain language, straight from a fellow infantryman who now runs the operation that fills millions of prescriptions for veterans each year. You will hear how Sean Loosen moved from West Point to Iraq, felt the culture shock of civilian work, and eventually stepped into leading PDS Optical, a company built around Pride, Dignity, and Service.

Then the conversation locks onto the practical stuff veterans actually need, including who qualifies for VA eye care, how the VA workflow moves from optometrist to optician, and why the process can be smoother and faster than most people expect. It closes with a look at what it means to serve beyond the job, including their Honor Flight sponsorship.

Timestamps:

  • 04:15 - The VA glasses benefit
  • 06:09 - Civilian culture shock and finding purpose again
  • 14:00 - Eligibility based on service-connected disability and the PACT Act ripple
  • 22:15 - Fast turnaround times
  • 26:15 - Honor Flight sponsorship and the emotion behind giving back

Links & Resources

Transcript

View the transcript for this episode.

]]> full 564 false A lot of veterans grind through blurry vision, eye strain, and overpriced frames because nobody ever told them the VA can cover eye exams and prescription glasses. This episode puts that benefit in plain language, straight from a fellow infantryman who now runs the operation that fills millions of prescriptions for veterans each year. You will hear how Sean Loosen moved from West Point to Iraq, felt the culture shock of civilian work, and eventually stepped into leading PDS Optical, a company built around Pride, Dignity, and Service.

Then the conversation locks onto the practical stuff veterans actually need, including who qualifies for VA eye care, how the VA workflow moves from optometrist to optician, and why the process can be smoother and faster than most people expect. It closes with a look at what it means to serve beyond the job, including their Honor Flight sponsorship.

Timestamps:

  • 04:15 - The VA glasses benefit
  • 06:09 - Civilian culture shock and finding purpose again
  • 14:00 - Eligibility based on service-connected disability and the PACT Act ripple
  • 22:15 - Fast turnaround times
  • 26:15 - Honor Flight sponsorship and the emotion behind giving back

Links & Resources

Transcript

View the transcript for this episode.

]]> 00:37:33 <![CDATA[Four Ways Veterans Can Serve Again]]> Tue, 24 Feb 2026 11:30:00 +0000 Scott DeLuzio https://permalink.castos.com/podcast/2296/episode/2345022 The hardest part of transition is not always the job search. It is the moment you realize the mission feeling did not automatically follow you home. This conversation is a reset for that. You will hear a clear, practical way to turn veteran strengths into local impact without burning out, starting with the Four Ts of true changemaking: time, talent, treasure, and testimony. The examples are grounded and real, from mentoring to board service, from small civic habits to the kind of logistics thinking that can take a nonprofit line from a long wait to a quick, efficient flow. The episode also goes deeper than volunteering. It gets into values alignment, purpose beyond titles, and emotional intelligence as a resilience skill you can train. The finish is a simple 30-day approach that starts with awareness, moves into small action, then self-regulation, and finally connection with other people, so service becomes a steady habit.

Timestamps:

  • 03:17 - The Four Ts that make service possible again
  • 05:28 - Why veterans quietly transform nonprofits with execution and logistics
  • 15:00 - The volunteer crisis and the veteran-sized solution
  • 31:33 - Emotional intelligence as a resilience skill you can build
  • 45:00 - The 30-day changemaker plan from zero to momentum

Links & Resources

Transcript

View the transcript for this episode.

]]> full 563 false The hardest part of transition is not always the job search. It is the moment you realize the mission feeling did not automatically follow you home. This conversation is a reset for that. You will hear a clear, practical way to turn veteran strengths into local impact without burning out, starting with the Four Ts of true changemaking: time, talent, treasure, and testimony. The examples are grounded and real, from mentoring to board service, from small civic habits to the kind of logistics thinking that can take a nonprofit line from a long wait to a quick, efficient flow. The episode also goes deeper than volunteering. It gets into values alignment, purpose beyond titles, and emotional intelligence as a resilience skill you can train. The finish is a simple 30-day approach that starts with awareness, moves into small action, then self-regulation, and finally connection with other people, so service becomes a steady habit.

Timestamps:

  • 03:17 - The Four Ts that make service possible again
  • 05:28 - Why veterans quietly transform nonprofits with execution and logistics
  • 15:00 - The volunteer crisis and the veteran-sized solution
  • 31:33 - Emotional intelligence as a resilience skill you can build
  • 45:00 - The 30-day changemaker plan from zero to momentum

Links & Resources

Transcript

View the transcript for this episode.

]]> 00:56:47 <![CDATA[Migraine and Headache Care for Veterans]]> Tue, 17 Feb 2026 11:30:00 +0000 Scott DeLuzio https://permalink.castos.com/podcast/2296/episode/2344997 Headache pain can look like a minor annoyance until it starts stealing whole days. For many veterans, it is not a random ache that fades with water and a nap. It can be a complex, repeating neurological problem that shows up after exposures, stress, disrupted sleep, or injuries that never fully healed.

This episode walks through why headaches and migraines hit the veteran community so hard, why the root cause often gets missed, and how to stop walking into appointments empty-handed. You will hear how the National Headache Foundation built Operation Brainstorm to make resources easier to find and use, including stories from veterans who live with this every day.

The takeaway from this episode is treat this like a mission. Track attacks, document patterns, identify triggers, and bring a clean record to a dedicated appointment that stays focused on headache care. The conversation also covers the differences between preventive and abortive meds, how to advocate for referrals when primary care reaches its limits, and why specialized care, like the VA Headache Centers of Excellence, matters, especially for the hardest cases. This is for anyone tired of powering through and ready to build a plan that respects work, family, and the reality of living with pain.

Timestamps:

  • 01:47 - One third of veterans live with headaches and migraines
  • 06:15 - Hundreds of headache types and why the label matters
  • 09:45 - Cluster headache severity and the hidden days before head pain
  • 13:45 - Build a plan, track patterns, walk in prepared
  • 34:45 - VA Headache Centers of Excellence and the access fight

Links & Resources

Transcript

View the transcript for this episode.

]]> full 562 false Headache pain can look like a minor annoyance until it starts stealing whole days. For many veterans, it is not a random ache that fades with water and a nap. It can be a complex, repeating neurological problem that shows up after exposures, stress, disrupted sleep, or injuries that never fully healed.

This episode walks through why headaches and migraines hit the veteran community so hard, why the root cause often gets missed, and how to stop walking into appointments empty-handed. You will hear how the National Headache Foundation built Operation Brainstorm to make resources easier to find and use, including stories from veterans who live with this every day.

The takeaway from this episode is treat this like a mission. Track attacks, document patterns, identify triggers, and bring a clean record to a dedicated appointment that stays focused on headache care. The conversation also covers the differences between preventive and abortive meds, how to advocate for referrals when primary care reaches its limits, and why specialized care, like the VA Headache Centers of Excellence, matters, especially for the hardest cases. This is for anyone tired of powering through and ready to build a plan that respects work, family, and the reality of living with pain.

Timestamps:

  • 01:47 - One third of veterans live with headaches and migraines
  • 06:15 - Hundreds of headache types and why the label matters
  • 09:45 - Cluster headache severity and the hidden days before head pain
  • 13:45 - Build a plan, track patterns, walk in prepared
  • 34:45 - VA Headache Centers of Excellence and the access fight

Links & Resources

Transcript

View the transcript for this episode.

]]> 00:46:30 <![CDATA[Document Everything When Trust Breaks]]> Tue, 10 Feb 2026 11:30:00 +0000 Scott DeLuzio https://permalink.castos.com/podcast/2296/episode/2311324 One report can flip your whole world upside down, especially when the people who promised support start calculating what your truth costs their careers. Chelsey Woodard shares what it felt like to go from a strong first stretch of service to a back half defined by retaliation, bureaucracy, and leaders choosing self-protection over accountability. She breaks down the tactics she saw up close: being pushed into a corner, being watched, being baited into mistakes, and having paperwork used as a weapon to build a "problem" narrative.

Chelsey explains the moves that helped her hold herself together when the pressure spiked: document every conversation, send follow-up emails, keep copies in multiple places, use leave as recovery time, and find a place that calms your body so your mind stays sharp. She also talks about why the Vet Center felt safer than on-base options, and what it was like to set a hard boundary during SkillBridge when a civilian workplace started echoing the same patterns she was trying to escape.

Timestamps:

  • 00:03:05: Reporting and realizing the system protects careers first
  • 00:04:15: Expedited transfer and an IG conclusion that changed nothing
  • 00:07:09: The survival playbook: document everything and control the paper trail
  • 00:14:15: How the Vet Center provided breathing room
  • 00:21:00: SkillBridge fell apart fast

Links & Resources

Transcript

View the transcript for this episode.

]]> full 561 false One report can flip your whole world upside down, especially when the people who promised support start calculating what your truth costs their careers. Chelsey Woodard shares what it felt like to go from a strong first stretch of service to a back half defined by retaliation, bureaucracy, and leaders choosing self-protection over accountability. She breaks down the tactics she saw up close: being pushed into a corner, being watched, being baited into mistakes, and having paperwork used as a weapon to build a "problem" narrative.

Chelsey explains the moves that helped her hold herself together when the pressure spiked: document every conversation, send follow-up emails, keep copies in multiple places, use leave as recovery time, and find a place that calms your body so your mind stays sharp. She also talks about why the Vet Center felt safer than on-base options, and what it was like to set a hard boundary during SkillBridge when a civilian workplace started echoing the same patterns she was trying to escape.

Timestamps:

  • 00:03:05: Reporting and realizing the system protects careers first
  • 00:04:15: Expedited transfer and an IG conclusion that changed nothing
  • 00:07:09: The survival playbook: document everything and control the paper trail
  • 00:14:15: How the Vet Center provided breathing room
  • 00:21:00: SkillBridge fell apart fast

Links & Resources

Transcript

View the transcript for this episode.

]]> 00:38:12 <![CDATA[Wounded Warrior Project Help That Works]]> Tue, 03 Feb 2026 11:30:00 +0000 Scott DeLuzio https://permalink.castos.com/podcast/2296/episode/2311277 Sleep breaks down, pain turns constant, and the mind keeps running like it never got the memo that the mission is over. This conversation follows what it looks like to claw your way back when the body is hurting, the nights are loud, and isolation starts to feel normal.

Rowdie McMahon shares her experience as an Air Force nurse deployed to Afghanistan, including the relentless pace and mass casualty reality, and how that pressure followed her home. She opens up about chronic pain, years on heavy medications, and the slow work of tapering off while staying engaged with mental health support. From there, the story shifts to what finally helped: Wounded Warrior Project programs, small steps back into community, and a surprising turning point through racing, building cars with other veterans, and putting 988 and the Veterans Crisis Line on the car as part of the mission.

Timestamps:

  • 00:02:15: Mass casualty chaos and zero time to process it all
  • 00:09:00: Nightmares, sleep fights, and realizing it is time to get help
  • 00:19:08: Not all wounds are visible, the call that opened the door to support
  • 00:26:09: Pickleball, sunlight, and the first step back into community
  • 00:53:03: Putting 988 on a race car and why racing saved her life

Links & Resources

Transcript

View the transcript for this episode.

]]> full 560 false Sleep breaks down, pain turns constant, and the mind keeps running like it never got the memo that the mission is over. This conversation follows what it looks like to claw your way back when the body is hurting, the nights are loud, and isolation starts to feel normal.

Rowdie McMahon shares her experience as an Air Force nurse deployed to Afghanistan, including the relentless pace and mass casualty reality, and how that pressure followed her home. She opens up about chronic pain, years on heavy medications, and the slow work of tapering off while staying engaged with mental health support. From there, the story shifts to what finally helped: Wounded Warrior Project programs, small steps back into community, and a surprising turning point through racing, building cars with other veterans, and putting 988 and the Veterans Crisis Line on the car as part of the mission.

Timestamps:

  • 00:02:15: Mass casualty chaos and zero time to process it all
  • 00:09:00: Nightmares, sleep fights, and realizing it is time to get help
  • 00:19:08: Not all wounds are visible, the call that opened the door to support
  • 00:26:09: Pickleball, sunlight, and the first step back into community
  • 00:53:03: Putting 988 on a race car and why racing saved her life

Links & Resources

Transcript

View the transcript for this episode.

]]> 01:00:29 <![CDATA[Nature Therapy For Combat Veterans]]> Tue, 27 Jan 2026 11:30:00 +0000 Scott DeLuzio https://permalink.castos.com/podcast/2296/episode/2288705 Walking away from the uniform often means walking away from purpose, identity, and your tribe all at once. In this conversation, retired Marine Colonel Brian Gilman shares how his own unexpected orders to a Pentagon reintegration office opened his eyes to what veterans really need after service and eventually led him home to Montana to lead Warriors and Quiet Waters. He breaks down their nine-month Built For More program, in which post-9/11 combat veterans spend two-week immersions in the Montana backcountry, with fly fishing, hunting, or photography as "co-facilitators," and six months of guided work at home focused on purpose, community, and thriving.

You will hear Brian explain what actually happens to your brain and body in nature, why light focus activities can trigger those shower epiphanies, and how journaling and small peer cohorts of eight vets give you space to finally process what happened and what comes next. He shares real-world outcome data, including significant gains in purpose, sleep, and connection, and explains why strong relationships beat money and status for long-term well-being. If you are a post-9/11 vet in a civilian job who misses the platoon more than you can explain and wants a roadmap for a life that feels worth getting up for, this one is dialed in for you.

Timestamps:

  • 01:12 - 27 years in the Marines
  • 04:18 - About Warriors and Quiet Waters
  • 09:32 - The science of nature and why your brain relaxes outside
  • 14:05 - Inside the 9-month Built For More program
  • 27:10 - Why strong relationships keep vets alive

Links & Resources

Transcript

View the transcript for this episode.

]]> full 559 false Walking away from the uniform often means walking away from purpose, identity, and your tribe all at once. In this conversation, retired Marine Colonel Brian Gilman shares how his own unexpected orders to a Pentagon reintegration office opened his eyes to what veterans really need after service and eventually led him home to Montana to lead Warriors and Quiet Waters. He breaks down their nine-month Built For More program, in which post-9/11 combat veterans spend two-week immersions in the Montana backcountry, with fly fishing, hunting, or photography as "co-facilitators," and six months of guided work at home focused on purpose, community, and thriving.

You will hear Brian explain what actually happens to your brain and body in nature, why light focus activities can trigger those shower epiphanies, and how journaling and small peer cohorts of eight vets give you space to finally process what happened and what comes next. He shares real-world outcome data, including significant gains in purpose, sleep, and connection, and explains why strong relationships beat money and status for long-term well-being. If you are a post-9/11 vet in a civilian job who misses the platoon more than you can explain and wants a roadmap for a life that feels worth getting up for, this one is dialed in for you.

Timestamps:

  • 01:12 - 27 years in the Marines
  • 04:18 - About Warriors and Quiet Waters
  • 09:32 - The science of nature and why your brain relaxes outside
  • 14:05 - Inside the 9-month Built For More program
  • 27:10 - Why strong relationships keep vets alive

Links & Resources

Transcript

View the transcript for this episode.

]]> 00:44:58 <![CDATA[Plant Medicine And Veteran Healing]]> Tue, 20 Jan 2026 11:30:00 +0000 Scott DeLuzio https://permalink.castos.com/podcast/2296/episode/2288613 Pain meds after surgery were supposed to help her heal, not take over her life. Years of prescriptions following a C-section, miscarriages, and unresolved childhood sexual trauma quietly turned into addiction, shame, and a double life that looked perfect on the outside while crumbling on the inside. When everything finally imploded, Shannon said yes to help, went to The Meadows in Arizona, and started the hard work of sobriety, inner child healing, and facing what she had been trying to numb for years.

In this conversation, Shannon talks with Scott about why addiction is a symptom, not an identity, and why shame and silence keep so many vets stuck. She shares how she supports veterans, including her own partner, who survived a suicide attempt, by creating judgment-free spaces, normalizing dark thoughts, and asking the real question: why would dying feel easier than speaking up. From powerful inner child work and self-forgiveness to psychedelic-assisted healing with iboga at Ayo Life Sciences in Mexico, Shannon explains how some veterans are reducing PTSD, TBI symptoms, and pill loads while rebuilding a new sense of purpose after the uniform. They close with simple daily practices like gratitude lists, reframing painful experiences, and finding new missions through retreats and coaching that help vets move from fight-or-flight into a life that actually feels worth staying in.

Timestamps:

  • 00:01:35 - When Shannon's perfect life implodes, and she finally says yes to help
  • 00:06:02 - Miscarriages, childhood trauma, and how prescriptions became her coping strategy
  • 00:08:20 - Addiction as a symptom and why she refuses to shame anyone for using it to cope
  • 00:26:35 - Inner child work, protecting the little boy who never felt safe, and why vets struggle to see themselves as worthy of love
  • 00:31:18 - Iboga plant medicine in Mexico, massive shifts for PTSD and TBI, and why preparation and safety matter so much

Links & Resources

Transcript

View the transcript for this episode.

]]> full 558 false Pain meds after surgery were supposed to help her heal, not take over her life. Years of prescriptions following a C-section, miscarriages, and unresolved childhood sexual trauma quietly turned into addiction, shame, and a double life that looked perfect on the outside while crumbling on the inside. When everything finally imploded, Shannon said yes to help, went to The Meadows in Arizona, and started the hard work of sobriety, inner child healing, and facing what she had been trying to numb for years.

In this conversation, Shannon talks with Scott about why addiction is a symptom, not an identity, and why shame and silence keep so many vets stuck. She shares how she supports veterans, including her own partner, who survived a suicide attempt, by creating judgment-free spaces, normalizing dark thoughts, and asking the real question: why would dying feel easier than speaking up. From powerful inner child work and self-forgiveness to psychedelic-assisted healing with iboga at Ayo Life Sciences in Mexico, Shannon explains how some veterans are reducing PTSD, TBI symptoms, and pill loads while rebuilding a new sense of purpose after the uniform. They close with simple daily practices like gratitude lists, reframing painful experiences, and finding new missions through retreats and coaching that help vets move from fight-or-flight into a life that actually feels worth staying in.

Timestamps:

  • 00:01:35 - When Shannon's perfect life implodes, and she finally says yes to help
  • 00:06:02 - Miscarriages, childhood trauma, and how prescriptions became her coping strategy
  • 00:08:20 - Addiction as a symptom and why she refuses to shame anyone for using it to cope
  • 00:26:35 - Inner child work, protecting the little boy who never felt safe, and why vets struggle to see themselves as worthy of love
  • 00:31:18 - Iboga plant medicine in Mexico, massive shifts for PTSD and TBI, and why preparation and safety matter so much

Links & Resources

Transcript

View the transcript for this episode.

]]> 00:58:05 <![CDATA[Operation Resilience Fighting Veteran Suicide]]> Tue, 13 Jan 2026 11:30:00 +0000 Scott DeLuzio https://permalink.castos.com/podcast/2296/episode/2288506 Coming home was supposed to be the safe part. For the 1st Battalion 17th Infantry, it did not work out that way. They lost 22 soldiers during their 2009 to 2010 Afghanistan deployment, then as many more after returning home. At one funeral, a soldier finally said what many were thinking: "When is someone going to do something about this?" That question pushed former platoon leader Adam Swift to start searching for an answer in the middle of the night, which led him to The Independence Fund and its unit retreat program, Operation Resilience.

Scott sits down with Adam and Independence Fund Deputy Chief of Operations Steven Rozina to hear how Operation Resilience brings entire units back together for a long weekend. Flights are covered, the veteran pays nothing, and the schedule blends fun sober events like NASCAR and hockey with long, guided clinical sessions. Units literally map out their deployment, from pre-mob through the worst days downrange and into life back home, finally talking through firefights, IED blasts, and moral injuries they have carried alone for years.

Adam shares what it was like to watch brothers he had not seen in 15 years walk out of the hotel elevators, and how The Independence Fund quietly recreated the teepee memorial from their FOB so the unit could honor their fallen around a final-night bonfire. You will also hear exactly how to get your own unit considered for Operation Resilience and why you do not need to be in command to step up and start the process.

Timestamps:

  • 00:03:30: The suicide funeral that sparked Operation Resilience and a hard decision to say no more
  • 00:09:30: Adam realizes being home feels more dangerous than Afghanistan after losing 22 more brothers
  • 00:15:15: Inside the marathon clinical session, where the unit spends eight hours walking through their deployment
  • 00:17:45: Elevators open, brothers step out, and a battalion reconnects after 15 years apart
  • 00:49:15: Scott's challenge to listeners to be the one who steps up and brings their unit to Operation Resilience

Links & Resources

Transcript

]]> full 557 false Coming home was supposed to be the safe part. For the 1st Battalion 17th Infantry, it did not work out that way. They lost 22 soldiers during their 2009 to 2010 Afghanistan deployment, then as many more after returning home. At one funeral, a soldier finally said what many were thinking: "When is someone going to do something about this?" That question pushed former platoon leader Adam Swift to start searching for an answer in the middle of the night, which led him to The Independence Fund and its unit retreat program, Operation Resilience.

Scott sits down with Adam and Independence Fund Deputy Chief of Operations Steven Rozina to hear how Operation Resilience brings entire units back together for a long weekend. Flights are covered, the veteran pays nothing, and the schedule blends fun sober events like NASCAR and hockey with long, guided clinical sessions. Units literally map out their deployment, from pre-mob through the worst days downrange and into life back home, finally talking through firefights, IED blasts, and moral injuries they have carried alone for years.

Adam shares what it was like to watch brothers he had not seen in 15 years walk out of the hotel elevators, and how The Independence Fund quietly recreated the teepee memorial from their FOB so the unit could honor their fallen around a final-night bonfire. You will also hear exactly how to get your own unit considered for Operation Resilience and why you do not need to be in command to step up and start the process.

Timestamps:

  • 00:03:30: The suicide funeral that sparked Operation Resilience and a hard decision to say no more
  • 00:09:30: Adam realizes being home feels more dangerous than Afghanistan after losing 22 more brothers
  • 00:15:15: Inside the marathon clinical session, where the unit spends eight hours walking through their deployment
  • 00:17:45: Elevators open, brothers step out, and a battalion reconnects after 15 years apart
  • 00:49:15: Scott's challenge to listeners to be the one who steps up and brings their unit to Operation Resilience

Links & Resources

Transcript

View the transcript for this episode.

]]> 00:57:13 <![CDATA[Rucking for Veteran Suicide Awareness]]> Tue, 06 Jan 2026 11:30:00 +0000 Scott DeLuzio https://permalink.castos.com/podcast/2296/episode/2246435 Marine combat leader and entrepreneur Rich Brown shares how TBI ended his time in uniform, pushed him into building Honor Bound FIT, and led to GUIDON22, a 22-mile ruck that pairs hard miles with stories of veterans and first responders lost to suicide. You will hear how those stories, family testimonies, and simple phrases like "good friends have hard conversations" give vets a way to move, talk, and stop passing their pain to the people they love.

Timestamps:

  • 02:30: From Marine infantry and TBI to unexpected entrepreneurship
  • 08:45: Launching Honor Bound FIT in a parking lot on Memorial Day
  • 13:10: How GUIDON22 turns rucks and stories into suicide awareness
  • 21:20: Passing on your pain vs letting your tribe carry it with you
  • 33:40: Creative ruck events, community impact, and how to get involved

Links & Resources

Transcript

View the transcript for this episode.

]]> full 556 false Marine combat leader and entrepreneur Rich Brown shares how TBI ended his time in uniform, pushed him into building Honor Bound FIT, and led to GUIDON22, a 22-mile ruck that pairs hard miles with stories of veterans and first responders lost to suicide. You will hear how those stories, family testimonies, and simple phrases like "good friends have hard conversations" give vets a way to move, talk, and stop passing their pain to the people they love.

Timestamps:

  • 02:30: From Marine infantry and TBI to unexpected entrepreneurship
  • 08:45: Launching Honor Bound FIT in a parking lot on Memorial Day
  • 13:10: How GUIDON22 turns rucks and stories into suicide awareness
  • 21:20: Passing on your pain vs letting your tribe carry it with you
  • 33:40: Creative ruck events, community impact, and how to get involved

Links & Resources

Transcript

View the transcript for this episode.

]]> 00:40:45 <![CDATA[Blue Collar Comeback For Veterans]]> Tue, 30 Dec 2025 11:30:00 +0000 Scott DeLuzio https://permalink.castos.com/podcast/2296/episode/2239473 Warrior Haven USA offers veterans a different path after service: valuable skills, work experience, and a solid income without being pushed into college and a cubicle. Retired Navy SEAL and CEO Marty Strong explains how he joined his Marine Recon friend on a Florida horse farm to build a program that blends a virtual business academy, woodworking and metal shops, a culinary track, and partnerships with equine therapy and service dog groups.

Through short experiences, multi-week courses, and full apprenticeships, vets learn in-demand trades, challenge the myth that only degrees lead to success, practice humility, and approach transition like serious training, gaining purpose, confidence, and a new mission.

Timestamps:

  • 03:45 Challenging the college-only version of the American dream
  • 07:27 Inside Warrior Haven USA and life on the horse farm
  • 17:00 Three levels from therapy day to paid apprenticeship
  • 30:05 Building the Harry Sargent Veterans Vocational Center
  • 37:10 Tough love on humility, offices, and starting at the bottom again

Links & Resources

Transcript

View the transcript for this episode.

]]> full 555 false Warrior Haven USA offers veterans a different path after service: valuable skills, work experience, and a solid income without being pushed into college and a cubicle. Retired Navy SEAL and CEO Marty Strong explains how he joined his Marine Recon friend on a Florida horse farm to build a program that blends a virtual business academy, woodworking and metal shops, a culinary track, and partnerships with equine therapy and service dog groups.

Through short experiences, multi-week courses, and full apprenticeships, vets learn in-demand trades, challenge the myth that only degrees lead to success, practice humility, and approach transition like serious training, gaining purpose, confidence, and a new mission.

Timestamps:

  • 03:45 Challenging the college-only version of the American dream
  • 07:27 Inside Warrior Haven USA and life on the horse farm
  • 17:00 Three levels from therapy day to paid apprenticeship
  • 30:05 Building the Harry Sargent Veterans Vocational Center
  • 37:10 Tough love on humility, offices, and starting at the bottom again

Links & Resources

Transcript

View the transcript for this episode.

]]> 00:51:36 <![CDATA[Christmas Thoughts and Easier Access to Support]]> Thu, 25 Dec 2025 11:30:00 +0000 Scott DeLuzio https://permalink.castos.com/podcast/2296/episode/2246852 This Christmas episode slows things down for a moment and acknowledges how the season can affect everyone differently.

Scott shares a straightforward holiday message and introduces a new chatbot on the Drive On website that can help you find support without digging through years of episodes. Whether you are dealing with stress, old injuries, sleep issues, or trouble staying connected at home, the chatbot can point you toward conversations that may help. You will also hear how to submit topics or share your own story if you want to be part of a future episode.

Scott also talks about the return to a weekly Tuesday release schedule starting in January 2026. This shift keeps the show strong without piling on a workload that would burn it out.

Links & Resources

Transcript

View the transcript for this episode.

]]> full 554 false This Christmas episode slows things down for a moment and acknowledges how the season can affect everyone differently.

Scott shares a straightforward holiday message and introduces a new chatbot on the Drive On website that can help you find support without digging through years of episodes. Whether you are dealing with stress, old injuries, sleep issues, or trouble staying connected at home, the chatbot can point you toward conversations that may help. You will also hear how to submit topics or share your own story if you want to be part of a future episode.

Scott also talks about the return to a weekly Tuesday release schedule starting in January 2026. This shift keeps the show strong without piling on a workload that would burn it out.

Links & Resources

Transcript

View the transcript for this episode.

]]> 00:24:59 <![CDATA[Veteran Mental Health And Operation Overwatch]]> Tue, 23 Dec 2025 11:30:00 +0000 Scott DeLuzio https://permalink.castos.com/podcast/2296/episode/2239213 Army combat medic veteran Adam Fluegel talks about answering the call for medics after 9/11, running patrols during the first Iraqi elections, losing a brother-in-arms in his first real trauma case, and coming home with no decompression. To hold it together, he leaned on alcohol, hydrocodone, and Adderall, which fueled anxiety, insomnia, paranoia, and eventually a stay in a psychiatric ward.

He then walks through the night, he took his pistol from the safe, and almost ended his life before the thought of his daughters pulled him back. That choice started him on the path of PTSD recovery through journaling, facing memories from Iraq, and using medication as a tool instead of a crutch. Adam and Scott dig into veteran mental health, suicide prevention, therapy dogs and service animals, and the damage of pretending to be fine at work, then pivot to Operation Overwatch, a veteran nonprofit and app that connects vets and veteran nonprofits for community, PTSD support, fly-fishing and skydiving groups, GI Bill-backed scuba therapy, and more.

Timestamps:

  • 00:04:45: From Baghdad streets to a calm warehouse floor
  • 00:13:25: The first IED and losing a brother in his care
  • 00:24:30: Adderall, burnout, and a life spinning out of control
  • 00:31:30: Pistol in hand and the thought that saved him
  • 00:40:04: Operation Overwatch and a new way to find your people

Links & Resources

Transcript

View the transcript for this episode.

]]> full 553 false Army combat medic veteran Adam Fluegel talks about answering the call for medics after 9/11, running patrols during the first Iraqi elections, losing a brother-in-arms in his first real trauma case, and coming home with no decompression. To hold it together, he leaned on alcohol, hydrocodone, and Adderall, which fueled anxiety, insomnia, paranoia, and eventually a stay in a psychiatric ward.

He then walks through the night, he took his pistol from the safe, and almost ended his life before the thought of his daughters pulled him back. That choice started him on the path of PTSD recovery through journaling, facing memories from Iraq, and using medication as a tool instead of a crutch. Adam and Scott dig into veteran mental health, suicide prevention, therapy dogs and service animals, and the damage of pretending to be fine at work, then pivot to Operation Overwatch, a veteran nonprofit and app that connects vets and veteran nonprofits for community, PTSD support, fly-fishing and skydiving groups, GI Bill-backed scuba therapy, and more.

Timestamps:

  • 00:04:45: From Baghdad streets to a calm warehouse floor
  • 00:13:25: The first IED and losing a brother in his care
  • 00:24:30: Adderall, burnout, and a life spinning out of control
  • 00:31:30: Pistol in hand and the thought that saved him
  • 00:40:04: Operation Overwatch and a new way to find your people

Links & Resources

Transcript

View the transcript for this episode.

]]> 00:51:58 <![CDATA[Choosing Life When Everything Hurts]]> Thu, 18 Dec 2025 11:30:00 +0000 Scott DeLuzio https://permalink.castos.com/podcast/2296/episode/2237376 The climb out of the lowest moments isn't clean or quick, and this conversation holds nothing back. A young airman who sprinted out of a rough home life, Brandon Held built a future through grit, service, and education. Then life took the legs out from under him. Losing his marriage. Losing daily life with his kids. Losing his career. Losing his footing. One night, he downed a bottle of sleeping pills and waited for the silence. Someone found him in time. That one act gave him a second chance he didn't think he deserved.

Brandon opens up about how he rebuilt his mind, confidence, habits, and purpose. He talks through the years of suicidal ideation, how old patterns nearly destroyed him, and the moment he drew a line and chose to fight his way back.

Timestamps:

  • 13:45: The first time suicide crossed his mind
  • 16:30: The night he tried to end everything
  • 21:00: Learning how to rebuild his mindset from scratch
  • 33:45: Surviving every bad day and seeing the shift
  • 47:45: His final message for anyone stuck in a dark season

Links & Resources

Transcript

View the transcript for this episode.

]]> full 552 false The climb out of the lowest moments isn't clean or quick, and this conversation holds nothing back. A young airman who sprinted out of a rough home life, Brandon Held built a future through grit, service, and education. Then life took the legs out from under him. Losing his marriage. Losing daily life with his kids. Losing his career. Losing his footing. One night, he downed a bottle of sleeping pills and waited for the silence. Someone found him in time. That one act gave him a second chance he didn't think he deserved.

Brandon opens up about how he rebuilt his mind, confidence, habits, and purpose. He talks through the years of suicidal ideation, how old patterns nearly destroyed him, and the moment he drew a line and chose to fight his way back.

Timestamps:

  • 13:45: The first time suicide crossed his mind
  • 16:30: The night he tried to end everything
  • 21:00: Learning how to rebuild his mindset from scratch
  • 33:45: Surviving every bad day and seeing the shift
  • 47:45: His final message for anyone stuck in a dark season

Links & Resources

Transcript

View the transcript for this episode.

]]> 00:51:58 <![CDATA[Lyrics That Kept Me Here]]> Tue, 16 Dec 2025 11:30:00 +0000 Scott DeLuzio https://permalink.castos.com/podcast/2296/episode/2237342 A lot of vets say music is the only thing that still makes sense, and for Tony Kessel, that idea runs deep. He built a 366-song playlist of his life, wrote the story tied to each track, and found himself looking at a full account of growing up in a foster home, serving in the Army National Guard, and working through suicidal thoughts. With more than two decades in uniform, he talks about being raised by a Vietnam veteran NCO, commissioning as an officer, and learning to lead while valuing the experience that NCOs bring. Music runs through all of it, from Garth Brooks and old country to heavy metal and the tracks that shaped the post-9/11 years. Our conversation covers how music served as both a coping tool and a warning sign, why non-combat deployments can still weigh on you, and how suicide intervention training pushed him to speak openly about his lowest points. We get into the shock of coming home from Kuwait or Afghanistan almost overnight, the support he has offered other vets, and why simply sitting with someone who is struggling matters. Tony also shares how he is using his home studio and writing to reach people who think they are carrying their pain alone.

Timestamps

  • 00:06:30 Tony's wide musical background and how different genres shaped his life.
  • 00:09:45 The late-night drive after drill that sparked the 366 song playlist.
  • 00:18:30 Using music to cope, the risks of relying on it to numb pain, and the moment he knew he had to face things directly.
  • 00:26:30 Suicide intervention training, opening up about suicide attempts, and why sharing his story matters.
  • 00:31:30 Returning home too fast after deployment and how that sudden shift affects veterans.

Links & Resources

Transcript

View the transcript for this episode.

]]> full 551 false A lot of vets say music is the only thing that still makes sense, and for Tony Kessel, that idea runs deep. He built a 366-song playlist of his life, wrote the story tied to each track, and found himself looking at a full account of growing up in a foster home, serving in the Army National Guard, and working through suicidal thoughts. With more than two decades in uniform, he talks about being raised by a Vietnam veteran NCO, commissioning as an officer, and learning to lead while valuing the experience that NCOs bring. Music runs through all of it, from Garth Brooks and old country to heavy metal and the tracks that shaped the post-9/11 years. Our conversation covers how music served as both a coping tool and a warning sign, why non-combat deployments can still weigh on you, and how suicide intervention training pushed him to speak openly about his lowest points. We get into the shock of coming home from Kuwait or Afghanistan almost overnight, the support he has offered other vets, and why simply sitting with someone who is struggling matters. Tony also shares how he is using his home studio and writing to reach people who think they are carrying their pain alone.

Timestamps

  • 00:06:30 Tony's wide musical background and how different genres shaped his life.
  • 00:09:45 The late-night drive after drill that sparked the 366 song playlist.
  • 00:18:30 Using music to cope, the risks of relying on it to numb pain, and the moment he knew he had to face things directly.
  • 00:26:30 Suicide intervention training, opening up about suicide attempts, and why sharing his story matters.
  • 00:31:30 Returning home too fast after deployment and how that sudden shift affects veterans.

Links & Resources

Transcript

View the transcript for this episode.

]]> 00:54:08 <![CDATA[How Cooking Supports Veterans After Military Service]]> Thu, 11 Dec 2025 11:30:00 +0000 Scott DeLuzio https://permalink.castos.com/podcast/2296/episode/2237318 When the Army chapter closed, Cory Brown didn't know what came next. A decade later, he's a veteran, entrepreneur, and creator of "Eat Your Feelings," a YouTube show that pairs cooking with honest talk about mental health. What started as a lighthearted project became a space for veterans and civilians alike to laugh, cry, and talk about the heavy stuff while breaking bread.

In this conversation, Cory shares how food became his outlet as a way to manage stress and reconnect with others. He opens up about the transition from the military to the corporate world, the pull to create something meaningful, and how showing vulnerability on camera helped others do the same.

Timestamps:

  • 00:03:00: Leaving the military and rebuilding life from scratch
  • 00:06:00: How "Eat Your Feelings" began and what it really stands for
  • 00:10:45: Cooking as therapy and the role of humor in healing
  • 00:18:15: Breaking stigma and creating real conversations about mental health
  • 00:28:00: Why action, no matter how small, beats fear every time

Links & Resources

Transcript

View the transcript for this episode.

]]> full 550 false When the Army chapter closed, Cory Brown didn't know what came next. A decade later, he's a veteran, entrepreneur, and creator of "Eat Your Feelings," a YouTube show that pairs cooking with honest talk about mental health. What started as a lighthearted project became a space for veterans and civilians alike to laugh, cry, and talk about the heavy stuff while breaking bread.

In this conversation, Cory shares how food became his outlet as a way to manage stress and reconnect with others. He opens up about the transition from the military to the corporate world, the pull to create something meaningful, and how showing vulnerability on camera helped others do the same.

Timestamps:

  • 00:03:00: Leaving the military and rebuilding life from scratch
  • 00:06:00: How "Eat Your Feelings" began and what it really stands for
  • 00:10:45: Cooking as therapy and the role of humor in healing
  • 00:18:15: Breaking stigma and creating real conversations about mental health
  • 00:28:00: Why action, no matter how small, beats fear every time

Links & Resources

Transcript

View the transcript for this episode.

]]> 00:47:18 <![CDATA[The Power of Stoic Thinking]]> Tue, 09 Dec 2025 11:30:00 +0000 Scott DeLuzio https://permalink.castos.com/podcast/2296/episode/2176414 A submarine is one of the most demanding workplaces on Earth. Confined, tense, and utterly dependent on trust and focus. William Spears has spent his career in that world, learning how to lead and think clearly when everything around him demands perfection. His journey led him to Stoicism, a philosophy that teaches emotional discipline, clarity, and responsibility.

In this episode, William explains how the same ideas that once guided ancient philosophers can help today's service members, veterans, and families face the stress of modern life. He talks about the link between Stoicism and modern therapy, how the idea of total responsibility changes how we lead and parent, and why writing down our thoughts can be one of the most powerful tools for mental clarity. This conversation is a practical guide to keeping your balance when life feels like it's closing in.

Timestamps:

  • 00:07:00: How Stoicism became a modern tool for resilience
  • 00:13:00: The connection between ancient philosophy and therapy
  • 00:21:00: Redefining responsibility and control
  • 00:29:00: The "Responsibility Heuristic" and how it applies to leadership
  • 00:49:00: The journaling habit that builds steadiness and focus

Links & Resources

Transcript

View the transcript for this episode.

]]> full 549 false A submarine is one of the most demanding workplaces on Earth. Confined, tense, and utterly dependent on trust and focus. William Spears has spent his career in that world, learning how to lead and think clearly when everything around him demands perfection. His journey led him to Stoicism, a philosophy that teaches emotional discipline, clarity, and responsibility.

In this episode, William explains how the same ideas that once guided ancient philosophers can help today's service members, veterans, and families face the stress of modern life. He talks about the link between Stoicism and modern therapy, how the idea of total responsibility changes how we lead and parent, and why writing down our thoughts can be one of the most powerful tools for mental clarity. This conversation is a practical guide to keeping your balance when life feels like it's closing in.

Timestamps:

  • 00:07:00: How Stoicism became a modern tool for resilience
  • 00:13:00: The connection between ancient philosophy and therapy
  • 00:21:00: Redefining responsibility and control
  • 00:29:00: The "Responsibility Heuristic" and how it applies to leadership
  • 00:49:00: The journaling habit that builds steadiness and focus

Links & Resources

Transcript

View the transcript for this episode.

]]> 01:00:26 <![CDATA[How Painting Helped an Air Force Veteran Recover Her Sense of Self]]> Thu, 04 Dec 2025 11:30:00 +0000 Scott DeLuzio https://permalink.castos.com/podcast/2296/episode/2176318 Cheri Carandanis spent her career caring for others as an Air Force nurse and later in hospice. After two brain injuries forced her to retire, she had to face life without the role that once defined her. What began as a simple attempt to follow medical advice led her to something unexpected: painting. Through it, she found healing, direction, and a deeper understanding of herself.

In this episode, Cheri talks about growing up in a military family, serving through deployments, and learning to rebuild after loss. Her story is a reminder that recovery takes time, creativity can be medicine, and there's always a way forward, even when life throws you a curveball.

Timestamps:

  • 04:00 - What deployment is like for a nurse
  • 10:00 - Life on an early base in Afghanistan. Chaos, humor, and teamwork
  • 15:00 - The brain injuries that ended her nursing career
  • 17:30 - Picking up a paintbrush for the first time and finding peace
  • 30:00 - Why she now sees the injury as a turning point, not an ending

Links & Resources

Transcript

View the transcript for this episode.

]]> full 548 false Cheri Carandanis spent her career caring for others as an Air Force nurse and later in hospice. After two brain injuries forced her to retire, she had to face life without the role that once defined her. What began as a simple attempt to follow medical advice led her to something unexpected: painting. Through it, she found healing, direction, and a deeper understanding of herself.

In this episode, Cheri talks about growing up in a military family, serving through deployments, and learning to rebuild after loss. Her story is a reminder that recovery takes time, creativity can be medicine, and there's always a way forward, even when life throws you a curveball.

Timestamps:

  • 04:00 - What deployment is like for a nurse
  • 10:00 - Life on an early base in Afghanistan. Chaos, humor, and teamwork
  • 15:00 - The brain injuries that ended her nursing career
  • 17:30 - Picking up a paintbrush for the first time and finding peace
  • 30:00 - Why she now sees the injury as a turning point, not an ending

Links & Resources

Transcript

View the transcript for this episode.

]]> 01:01:53 <![CDATA[The Hidden Heroes Beside Our Veterans]]> Tue, 02 Dec 2025 11:30:00 +0000 Scott DeLuzio https://permalink.castos.com/podcast/2296/episode/2168279 When your mission shifts from the battlefield to the bedside, how do you keep going? This episode features Dan Contreras from Disabled American Veterans, who opens up about the emotional realities of becoming his wife's caregiver after her cancer diagnosis and how that experience reshaped his understanding of service. Dan shares how DAV's Caregiver Support Program empowers those who carry the invisible weight of caring for a loved one, connecting them to resources, community, and hope.From learning to accept help to balancing self-care and duty, Dan's story reminds us that strength comes from knowing when to reach out. Whether you're a veteran, spouse, or friend, this conversation shines a light on the people who quietly keep others alive and the programs that stand ready to support them. Timestamps:

  • 00:03:00 - The day Dan's life changed forever: stepping into the caregiver role
  • 00:07:15 - The unexpected impact of that first call with a DAV Care Specialist
  • 00:14:45 - How the Caregiver Program creates real respite and connection
  • 00:21:15 - Redefining strength: when asking for help becomes wisdom
  • 00:47:00 - The truth about caregiver burnout and why no one can do it alone

Links & Resources

Transcript

View the transcript for this episode.

]]> full 547 false When your mission shifts from the battlefield to the bedside, how do you keep going? This episode features Dan Contreras from Disabled American Veterans, who opens up about the emotional realities of becoming his wife's caregiver after her cancer diagnosis and how that experience reshaped his understanding of service. Dan shares how DAV's Caregiver Support Program empowers those who carry the invisible weight of caring for a loved one, connecting them to resources, community, and hope.From learning to accept help to balancing self-care and duty, Dan's story reminds us that strength comes from knowing when to reach out. Whether you're a veteran, spouse, or friend, this conversation shines a light on the people who quietly keep others alive and the programs that stand ready to support them. Timestamps:

  • 00:03:00 - The day Dan's life changed forever: stepping into the caregiver role
  • 00:07:15 - The unexpected impact of that first call with a DAV Care Specialist
  • 00:14:45 - How the Caregiver Program creates real respite and connection
  • 00:21:15 - Redefining strength: when asking for help becomes wisdom
  • 00:47:00 - The truth about caregiver burnout and why no one can do it alone

Links & Resources

Transcript

View the transcript for this episode.

]]> 00:54:19 <![CDATA[How a Veteran Found Freedom After the Corporate Grind]]> Thu, 27 Nov 2025 11:30:00 +0000 Scott DeLuzio https://permalink.castos.com/podcast/2296/episode/2168275 After serving in the Air Force, Billy Rudd spent over two decades leading massive teams in corporate America. On paper, he had everything figured out. He had a great title, a solid paycheck, and constant travel. But something had to give. With two growing kids and a business idea that wouldn't leave him alone, Billy took the leap and turned his side hustle into a full-time gig.

In this episode, he shares what it takes to walk away from "safe," how his military background shaped his leadership style, and why authenticity matters more than marketing. He also talks about bringing his kids into the business, the lessons they're learning, and what it means to finally have control over his own time.

Timestamps:

  • 00:03:00: How Billy's Air Force years shaped his mindset
  • 00:07:30: Leaving the corporate world for something meaningful
  • 00:09:45: The origins of Cloud Splitter Coffee
  • 00:14:30: Authenticity, community, and building a real brand
  • 00:26:45: Involving his kids and finding balance at home

Links & Resources

Transcript

View the transcript for this episode.

]]> full 546 false After serving in the Air Force, Billy Rudd spent over two decades leading massive teams in corporate America. On paper, he had everything figured out. He had a great title, a solid paycheck, and constant travel. But something had to give. With two growing kids and a business idea that wouldn't leave him alone, Billy took the leap and turned his side hustle into a full-time gig.

In this episode, he shares what it takes to walk away from "safe," how his military background shaped his leadership style, and why authenticity matters more than marketing. He also talks about bringing his kids into the business, the lessons they're learning, and what it means to finally have control over his own time.

Timestamps:

  • 00:03:00: How Billy's Air Force years shaped his mindset
  • 00:07:30: Leaving the corporate world for something meaningful
  • 00:09:45: The origins of Cloud Splitter Coffee
  • 00:14:30: Authenticity, community, and building a real brand
  • 00:26:45: Involving his kids and finding balance at home

Links & Resources

Transcript

View the transcript for this episode.

]]> 00:40:51 <![CDATA[Combat Letters and Life Lessons]]> Tue, 25 Nov 2025 11:30:00 +0000 Scott DeLuzio https://permalink.castos.com/podcast/2296/episode/2168262 He thought he'd miss the war, but fate had other plans. Marine aviator Don Eggspuehler's story begins with a stack of letters written from the jungles of Thailand during the last year of Vietnam. Those letters, saved by his mother and rediscovered decades later, became the foundation for something bigger. A way to connect generations through humor, heartbreak, and hard-won wisdom.

In this conversation, Don opens up about the fear of flying through tracer fire at night, the loss of fellow Marines, and the long road toward peace that followed. He draws parallels between Vietnam and Afghanistan, the shared feeling of coming home to a country that doesn't quite understand, and the importance of preserving your story before it disappears.

Don also shares how writing helped him heal not just from combat, but from losing his wife, facing grief, and finding purpose again through storytelling. His message is clear: your memories, your lessons, and your story matter. Whether it's for your kids, your grandkids, or someone you'll never meet, those stories have power.

Timestamps:

  • 02:15: Letters to mom from Vietnam
  • 06:00: Flying night missions through enemy fire
  • 10:30: Parallels between Vietnam and Afghanistan
  • 17:00: Lessons from loss and grief worth sharing
  • 25:30: Finding healing in talking, writing, and connection

Links & Resources

Transcript

View the transcript for this episode.

]]> full 545 false He thought he'd miss the war, but fate had other plans. Marine aviator Don Eggspuehler's story begins with a stack of letters written from the jungles of Thailand during the last year of Vietnam. Those letters, saved by his mother and rediscovered decades later, became the foundation for something bigger. A way to connect generations through humor, heartbreak, and hard-won wisdom.

In this conversation, Don opens up about the fear of flying through tracer fire at night, the loss of fellow Marines, and the long road toward peace that followed. He draws parallels between Vietnam and Afghanistan, the shared feeling of coming home to a country that doesn't quite understand, and the importance of preserving your story before it disappears.

Don also shares how writing helped him heal not just from combat, but from losing his wife, facing grief, and finding purpose again through storytelling. His message is clear: your memories, your lessons, and your story matter. Whether it's for your kids, your grandkids, or someone you'll never meet, those stories have power.

Timestamps:

  • 02:15: Letters to mom from Vietnam
  • 06:00: Flying night missions through enemy fire
  • 10:30: Parallels between Vietnam and Afghanistan
  • 17:00: Lessons from loss and grief worth sharing
  • 25:30: Finding healing in talking, writing, and connection

Links & Resources

Transcript

View the transcript for this episode.

]]> 00:46:47 <![CDATA[The Truth About Treatment Resistant Veterans]]> Thu, 20 Nov 2025 11:30:00 +0000 Scott DeLuzio https://permalink.castos.com/podcast/2296/episode/2168238 https://driveonpodcast.com/podcast/the-truth-about-treatment-resistant-veterans/ Sometimes healing feels more like trial and error than progress. Brian Livesay knows that firsthand. After a decade in uniform and years working in veteran care, he's learned that recovery is about connection, honesty, and finding what actually works for each person. In this conversation, Brian and Scott talk about how therapy can go wrong when it's too rigid, the fear of making that first call for help, and why moral injury still gets overlooked in veteran care. It's a hopeful look at what happens when we stop trying to "fit" into a treatment plan and start listening to what we really need.

Timestamps:

  • 00:06:24 - Why "treatment-resistant PTSD" misses the mark
  • 00:11:19 - Making the first call and facing the unknown
  • 00:15:00 - How trust opens the door to healing
  • 00:21:00 - The weight of moral injury
  • 00:38:30 - A therapist's real job: guide, not fixer

Links & Resources

Transcript

View the transcript for this episode.

]]> full 544 false Sometimes healing feels more like trial and error than progress. Brian Livesay knows that firsthand. After a decade in uniform and years working in veteran care, he's learned that recovery is about connection, honesty, and finding what actually works for each person. In this conversation, Brian and Scott talk about how therapy can go wrong when it's too rigid, the fear of making that first call for help, and why moral injury still gets overlooked in veteran care. It's a hopeful look at what happens when we stop trying to "fit" into a treatment plan and start listening to what we really need.

Timestamps:

  • 00:06:24 - Why "treatment-resistant PTSD" misses the mark
  • 00:11:19 - Making the first call and facing the unknown
  • 00:15:00 - How trust opens the door to healing
  • 00:21:00 - The weight of moral injury
  • 00:38:30 - A therapist's real job: guide, not fixer

Links & Resources

Transcript

View the transcript for this episode.

]]> 01:12:47 <![CDATA[Losing Sight Finding Strength]]> Tue, 18 Nov 2025 11:30:00 +0000 Scott DeLuzio https://permalink.castos.com/podcast/2296/episode/2168206 Aaron Hale's story is about what comes next after tragedy strikes. After serving as a Navy cook, he switched to the Army to become an explosive ordnance disposal tech, leading teams through dangerous missions in Afghanistan and Iraq. A blast left him blind, and years later, meningitis took his hearing. Instead of giving up, Aaron focused on how to move forward. He learned new ways to live, connected with other veterans who had faced similar losses, and found purpose in helping others do the same. This episode is a conversation about persistence, service, and learning to build a new life one step at a time. Timestamps:

  • 00:08:11 - From Navy kitchens to Afghanistan's front lines
  • 00:17:49 - The meaning of "initial success or total failure"
  • 00:27:42 - The explosion that changed everything
  • 00:33:30 - Finding mentors and new purpose
  • 00:45:12 - Turning his story into strength for others

Links & Resources

Transcript

View the transcript for this episode.

]]> full 543 false Aaron Hale's story is about what comes next after tragedy strikes. After serving as a Navy cook, he switched to the Army to become an explosive ordnance disposal tech, leading teams through dangerous missions in Afghanistan and Iraq. A blast left him blind, and years later, meningitis took his hearing. Instead of giving up, Aaron focused on how to move forward. He learned new ways to live, connected with other veterans who had faced similar losses, and found purpose in helping others do the same. This episode is a conversation about persistence, service, and learning to build a new life one step at a time. Timestamps:

  • 00:08:11 - From Navy kitchens to Afghanistan's front lines
  • 00:17:49 - The meaning of "initial success or total failure"
  • 00:27:42 - The explosion that changed everything
  • 00:33:30 - Finding mentors and new purpose
  • 00:45:12 - Turning his story into strength for others

Links & Resources

Transcript

View the transcript for this episode.

]]> 00:57:17 <![CDATA[Learning to Feel Like Yourself Again After the Military]]> Thu, 13 Nov 2025 11:30:00 +0000 Scott DeLuzio https://permalink.castos.com/podcast/2296/episode/2163804 https://driveonpodcast.com/podcast/learning-to-feel-like-yourself-again-after-the-military/ Getting out of the military doesn't come with a manual. You leave one world behind and step into another that doesn't always make sense. In this episode, Air Force veteran and counselor Timothy Wienecke shares how he rebuilt his life after service and helps other vets do the same.

Timothy opens up about how the Air Force turned things around for him, what he's learned about masculinity, and why finding real connection,  not just surface-level stuff, makes all the difference. This episode shares how to move forward without losing yourself in the process.

Timestamps:

  • 00:01:34 - How the Air Force helped him reset his life
  • 00:04:27 - Lessons from working with others in tough situations
  • 00:10:15 - What healthy masculinity actually looks like
  • 00:18:51 - The identity shift that happens after leaving service
  • 00:29:41 - Why connection is the key to feeling grounded again

Links & Resources

Transcript

View the transcript for this episode.

]]> full 542 false Getting out of the military doesn't come with a manual. You leave one world behind and step into another that doesn't always make sense. In this episode, Air Force veteran and counselor Timothy Wienecke shares how he rebuilt his life after service and helps other vets do the same.

Timothy opens up about how the Air Force turned things around for him, what he's learned about masculinity, and why finding real connection,  not just surface-level stuff, makes all the difference. This episode shares how to move forward without losing yourself in the process.

Timestamps:

  • 00:01:34 - How the Air Force helped him reset his life
  • 00:04:27 - Lessons from working with others in tough situations
  • 00:10:15 - What healthy masculinity actually looks like
  • 00:18:51 - The identity shift that happens after leaving service
  • 00:29:41 - Why connection is the key to feeling grounded again

Links & Resources

Transcript

View the transcript for this episode.

]]> 01:04:13 <![CDATA[Why Veterans Struggle To Sleep]]> Tue, 11 Nov 2025 11:30:00 +0000 Scott DeLuzio https://permalink.castos.com/podcast/2296/episode/2163784 https://driveonpodcast.com/podcast/why-veterans-struggle-to-sleep/ Sleep can feel like the enemy when nightmares, racing thoughts, or old deployment habits keep you wired at night.

In this episode, Dr. Leah Kaylor, a prescribing psychologist and sleep expert for the FBI, explains why so many veterans and first responders struggle to rest and what happens in the brain when we avoid sleep altogether.

This episode will help you understand how REM sleep helps process trauma, and learn why caffeine and alcohol quietly sabotage your nights. Dr. Kaylor shares simple, cost-free fixes like getting morning sunlight, adjusting caffeine timing, and creating better sleep routines to help you finally get real rest. If you've ever wondered why your body won't shut down or how to stop the cycle of sleepless nights, this conversation delivers both clarity and hope.

Timestamps

  • 09:00 - Veterans avoiding sleep to escape nightmares
  • 11:30 - How REM sleep acts like overnight therapy
  • 17:15 - The hidden cost of caffeine and late-night pre-workouts
  • 37:15 - Why alcohol is the worst "sleep aid"
  • 41:30 - Building self-awareness with sleep logs

Links & Resources

Transcript

View the transcript for this episode.

]]> full 541 false Sleep can feel like the enemy when nightmares, racing thoughts, or old deployment habits keep you wired at night.

In this episode, Dr. Leah Kaylor, a prescribing psychologist and sleep expert for the FBI, explains why so many veterans and first responders struggle to rest and what happens in the brain when we avoid sleep altogether.

This episode will help you understand how REM sleep helps process trauma, and learn why caffeine and alcohol quietly sabotage your nights. Dr. Kaylor shares simple, cost-free fixes like getting morning sunlight, adjusting caffeine timing, and creating better sleep routines to help you finally get real rest. If you've ever wondered why your body won't shut down or how to stop the cycle of sleepless nights, this conversation delivers both clarity and hope.

Timestamps

  • 09:00 - Veterans avoiding sleep to escape nightmares
  • 11:30 - How REM sleep acts like overnight therapy
  • 17:15 - The hidden cost of caffeine and late-night pre-workouts
  • 37:15 - Why alcohol is the worst "sleep aid"
  • 41:30 - Building self-awareness with sleep logs

Links & Resources

Transcript

View the transcript for this episode.

]]> 00:55:41 <![CDATA[How Faith Rebuilt a Combat Veteran's Life]]> Thu, 06 Nov 2025 11:30:00 +0000 Scott DeLuzio https://permalink.castos.com/podcast/2296/episode/2163776 https://driveonpodcast.com/podcast/how-faith-rebuilt-a-combat-veterans-life/ What happens when the war follows you home, and no amount of alcohol, drugs, or violence can silence it? Andrew Jones lived that reality. After Iraq, PTSD nearly destroyed him. Nightmares, hallucinations, broken relationships, and suicidal thoughts became his new battlefield. But when he reached his breaking point, he dropped to his knees and cried out to God. That moment changed everything.

In this episode, Andrew shares how faith pulled him from the edge of death and gave him a new mission. From leading men in combat to leading men in faith, he's found purpose in helping others discover hope, strength, and identity through Christ. This episode is about one veteran's encounter with God that turned despair into joy and chaos into peace.

Timestamps:

  • 00:06:30 - The breaking point: Andrew's lowest moment, when he prepared to end his life and instead cried out to God.
  • 00:14:00 - The encounter: Describing the moment he felt God's presence and the peace that replaced years of despair.
  • 00:19:30 - Learning to turn it off: How faith helped him lay down the constant fight-or-flight mindset of combat.
  • 00:29:00 - Identity restored: Finding purpose again through faith and realizing what it means to serve a new mission.
  • 00:41:30 - The miracle of fatherhood: After years of hopelessness, God answers prayers and brings new life into his family.
  • 01:38:00 - Hope for the hopeless: Andrew's message to veterans who feel too far gone, why it's never too late to start over.

Links & Resources

Transcript

View the transcript for this episode.

]]> full 540 false What happens when the war follows you home, and no amount of alcohol, drugs, or violence can silence it? Andrew Jones lived that reality. After Iraq, PTSD nearly destroyed him. Nightmares, hallucinations, broken relationships, and suicidal thoughts became his new battlefield. But when he reached his breaking point, he dropped to his knees and cried out to God. That moment changed everything.

In this episode, Andrew shares how faith pulled him from the edge of death and gave him a new mission. From leading men in combat to leading men in faith, he's found purpose in helping others discover hope, strength, and identity through Christ. This episode is about one veteran's encounter with God that turned despair into joy and chaos into peace.

Timestamps:

  • 00:06:30 - The breaking point: Andrew's lowest moment, when he prepared to end his life and instead cried out to God.
  • 00:14:00 - The encounter: Describing the moment he felt God's presence and the peace that replaced years of despair.
  • 00:19:30 - Learning to turn it off: How faith helped him lay down the constant fight-or-flight mindset of combat.
  • 00:29:00 - Identity restored: Finding purpose again through faith and realizing what it means to serve a new mission.
  • 00:41:30 - The miracle of fatherhood: After years of hopelessness, God answers prayers and brings new life into his family.
  • 01:38:00 - Hope for the hopeless: Andrew's message to veterans who feel too far gone, why it's never too late to start over.

Links & Resources

Transcript

View the transcript for this episode.

]]> 01:45:16 <![CDATA[Lifelong Care for Veterans and Families with Semper Fi & America's Fund]]> Tue, 04 Nov 2025 11:30:00 +0000 Scott DeLuzio https://permalink.castos.com/podcast/2296/episode/2140898 https://driveonpodcast.com/podcast/lifelong-care-for-veterans-and-families-with-semper-fi-and-americas-fund/ The toughest battles don't always happen overseas. Sometimes they hit when you're back home, trying to figure out how to live with injuries, stress, or changes you never saw coming. Karen Hetherington knows this firsthand. She's part of the team at Semper Fi & America's Fund, and she has spent years walking alongside service members and their families during some of their most challenging moments.

In this conversation, Karen shares how The Fund got its start and how it's grown into a lifeline for thousands of veterans. We talk about the little things that make a big difference, like covering bills while a family sits through long hospital stays, and the big things, like connecting someone with life-changing medical treatment or helping them find a new purpose after leaving the military.

You'll hear about fast action that saved a Marine in crisis, the cutting-edge care that helped an amputee get back on his feet, and why listening closely matters more than any program on paper. The Fund restores independence, eases the weight on families, and proves that no veteran has to figure it out alone.

Timestamps:

  • 00:03:15: The dining room table where it all began
  • 00:07:45: Breaking through pride and asking for help
  • 00:12:15: Losing purpose when service ends overnight
  • 00:24:45: Saving a Marine before it was too late
  • 00:29:30: New hope through groundbreaking prosthetics

Links & Resources

Transcript

View the transcript for this episode.

]]> full 539 false The toughest battles don't always happen overseas. Sometimes they hit when you're back home, trying to figure out how to live with injuries, stress, or changes you never saw coming. Karen Hetherington knows this firsthand. She's part of the team at Semper Fi & America's Fund, and she has spent years walking alongside service members and their families during some of their most challenging moments.

In this conversation, Karen shares how The Fund got its start and how it's grown into a lifeline for thousands of veterans. We talk about the little things that make a big difference, like covering bills while a family sits through long hospital stays, and the big things, like connecting someone with life-changing medical treatment or helping them find a new purpose after leaving the military.

You'll hear about fast action that saved a Marine in crisis, the cutting-edge care that helped an amputee get back on his feet, and why listening closely matters more than any program on paper. The Fund restores independence, eases the weight on families, and proves that no veteran has to figure it out alone.

Timestamps:

  • 00:03:15: The dining room table where it all began
  • 00:07:45: Breaking through pride and asking for help
  • 00:12:15: Losing purpose when service ends overnight
  • 00:24:45: Saving a Marine before it was too late
  • 00:29:30: New hope through groundbreaking prosthetics

Links & Resources

Transcript

View the transcript for this episode.

]]> 00:43:45 <![CDATA[The Warning Signs Military and Veteran Families Can't Afford to Miss]]> Thu, 30 Oct 2025 10:30:00 +0000 Scott DeLuzio https://permalink.castos.com/podcast/2296/episode/2135321 https://driveonpodcast.com/podcast/the-warning-signs-military-and-veteran-families-cant-afford-to-miss/ Sometimes the hardest battles aren't fought overseas. They're fought in living rooms, late at night, when the weight of war refuses to let go. In this powerful conversation, Ashley Sylvester shares the story of her husband, Army Sergeant Jason Sylvester, whose deployments to Kosovo, Iraq, and Afghanistan left invisible scars that followed him home.

Ashley walks us through the subtle shifts she saw over time: sleepless nights, changes in mood, outbursts, and moments when Jason seemed present in body but gone in spirit. She describes the impossible balancing act of protecting their children, seeking help inside and outside the military system, and watching the walls close in.

Her honesty shines a light on the barriers veterans face, the threat of losing security clearances, stigma, and fear of losing careers, which keep too many from getting the support they need. Most of all, she shares the heartbreak of losing Jason to suicide, and why recognizing the warning signs and having hard conversations could make all the difference for another family.

This episode covers a difficult topic, but it's also a call to action: don't ignore what you see, don't wait, and don't give up on finding the help that's out there.

Timestamps:

  • 04:27 - The first signs of sleepless nights and nightmares
  • 13:00 - The rucksack of trauma that only grows heavier
  • 18:00 - Creative strategies Ashley used to get her husband to talk
  • 31:00 - When Jason began to mentally check out
  • 44:15 - The tornado, the loss of everything, and the final spiral

Links & Resources

Transcript

View the transcript for this episode.

]]> full 538 false Sometimes the hardest battles aren't fought overseas. They're fought in living rooms, late at night, when the weight of war refuses to let go. In this powerful conversation, Ashley Sylvester shares the story of her husband, Army Sergeant Jason Sylvester, whose deployments to Kosovo, Iraq, and Afghanistan left invisible scars that followed him home.

Ashley walks us through the subtle shifts she saw over time: sleepless nights, changes in mood, outbursts, and moments when Jason seemed present in body but gone in spirit. She describes the impossible balancing act of protecting their children, seeking help inside and outside the military system, and watching the walls close in.

Her honesty shines a light on the barriers veterans face, the threat of losing security clearances, stigma, and fear of losing careers, which keep too many from getting the support they need. Most of all, she shares the heartbreak of losing Jason to suicide, and why recognizing the warning signs and having hard conversations could make all the difference for another family.

This episode covers a difficult topic, but it's also a call to action: don't ignore what you see, don't wait, and don't give up on finding the help that's out there.

Timestamps:

  • 04:27 - The first signs of sleepless nights and nightmares
  • 13:00 - The rucksack of trauma that only grows heavier
  • 18:00 - Creative strategies Ashley used to get her husband to talk
  • 31:00 - When Jason began to mentally check out
  • 44:15 - The tornado, the loss of everything, and the final spiral

Links & Resources

Transcript

View the transcript for this episode.

]]> 00:55:21 <![CDATA[Tools Veterans Need to Heal]]> Tue, 28 Oct 2025 10:30:00 +0000 Scott DeLuzio https://permalink.castos.com/podcast/2296/episode/2135301 https://driveonpodcast.com/podcast/tools-veterans-need-to-heal/ For many veterans, the hardest battles often come long after the uniform comes off. Erik Lawrence knows what that feels like. After years in Special Forces and contracting, he found himself running on fumes, mentally and physically, until he started digging into why he felt the way he did. From TBIs to toxic exposure, he explored every option available and built a resource to help others find their way.

In this conversation, Erik opens up about the traps veterans often fall into, why transitioning into a new chapter is so important, and the practical steps that can make a real difference. From fasting and detoxing to sorting through endless programs and figuring out what actually fits your needs, this episode will help give veterans the tools to take back their health and move forward.

Timestamps:

  • 03:15 - From the Army straight into an African conflict
  • 04:45 - How chasing the "glory days" wrecks lives
  • 09:30 - Why he built a 500-page guide for veterans
  • 15:30 - Burn pits, heavy metals, and toxic exposure
  • 17:45 - Fasting as a reset for body and mind

Links & Resources

Transcript

View the transcript for this episode.

]]> full 537 false For many veterans, the hardest battles often come long after the uniform comes off. Erik Lawrence knows what that feels like. After years in Special Forces and contracting, he found himself running on fumes, mentally and physically, until he started digging into why he felt the way he did. From TBIs to toxic exposure, he explored every option available and built a resource to help others find their way.

In this conversation, Erik opens up about the traps veterans often fall into, why transitioning into a new chapter is so important, and the practical steps that can make a real difference. From fasting and detoxing to sorting through endless programs and figuring out what actually fits your needs, this episode will help give veterans the tools to take back their health and move forward.

Timestamps:

  • 03:15 - From the Army straight into an African conflict
  • 04:45 - How chasing the "glory days" wrecks lives
  • 09:30 - Why he built a 500-page guide for veterans
  • 15:30 - Burn pits, heavy metals, and toxic exposure
  • 17:45 - Fasting as a reset for body and mind

Links & Resources

Transcript

View the transcript for this episode.

]]> 00:44:41 <![CDATA[Veteran Finds Strength After the Weak Man Phase]]> Thu, 23 Oct 2025 11:30:00 +0000 Scott DeLuzio https://permalink.castos.com/podcast/2296/episode/2128548 https://driveonpodcast.com/podcast/veteran-finds-strength-after-the-weak-man-phase/ Losing your sense of identity after service feels like freefall. For Lee Freeburg, that struggle was real. A Navy hospital corpsman who fought to find his place in uniform and beyond, Lee spiraled into what he calls his weak man phase, living for temporary pleasures, drifting without direction. It took a violent quad accident and a broken collarbone to spark a 180 that changed his life.

Lee opens up about finding purpose through discipline, rebuilding after hitting rock bottom, and using storms as teachers rather than excuses. He shares how faith, fatherhood, and accountability became the anchors for his transformation. From designing a tool to revolutionize an industry to writing a book so his daughter would always know his values, Lee proves that rebuilding starts with self-awareness and grows through action.

This is a powerful journey through loss of identity, rediscovering mission, and the fight to leave a legacy worth carrying forward.

Timestamps:

  • 00:09:00: Facing heartbreak when leaving the uniform behind
  • 00:12:30: The quad accident that became a life reset
  • 00:14:45: Breaking free from the weak man mindset
  • 00:18:00: Lessons from storms and the sailor's analogy for life
  • 00:23:30: Writing a book for his daughter and defining faith

Links & Resources

Transcript

View the transcript for this episode.

]]> full 536 false Losing your sense of identity after service feels like freefall. For Lee Freeburg, that struggle was real. A Navy hospital corpsman who fought to find his place in uniform and beyond, Lee spiraled into what he calls his weak man phase, living for temporary pleasures, drifting without direction. It took a violent quad accident and a broken collarbone to spark a 180 that changed his life.

Lee opens up about finding purpose through discipline, rebuilding after hitting rock bottom, and using storms as teachers rather than excuses. He shares how faith, fatherhood, and accountability became the anchors for his transformation. From designing a tool to revolutionize an industry to writing a book so his daughter would always know his values, Lee proves that rebuilding starts with self-awareness and grows through action.

This is a powerful journey through loss of identity, rediscovering mission, and the fight to leave a legacy worth carrying forward.

Timestamps:

  • 00:09:00: Facing heartbreak when leaving the uniform behind
  • 00:12:30: The quad accident that became a life reset
  • 00:14:45: Breaking free from the weak man mindset
  • 00:18:00: Lessons from storms and the sailor's analogy for life
  • 00:23:30: Writing a book for his daughter and defining faith

Links & Resources

Transcript

View the transcript for this episode.

]]> 00:59:26 <![CDATA[When the Uniform Comes Off Everything Changes Overnight]]> Tue, 21 Oct 2025 11:30:00 +0000 Scott DeLuzio https://permalink.castos.com/podcast/2296/episode/2128003 Leaving the military can feel like stepping off a cliff. One day, you've got steady pay, housing, and a community that's always around. The next day, it's all gone. That's the reality Robert Wheeler faced when he left the Navy. He went from structure and purpose to bills stacking up, silence from the people he served with, and depression that pushed him past 300 pounds.

In this conversation, Robert opens up about why he once threw out his uniforms and refused to even call himself a veteran. He shares the hard lessons he learned about VA benefits, how Chapter 31 gave him time freedom to rebuild, and why fitness is needed for more than just looks. You'll hear him talk about how to handle when negative spirals hit, and how gratitude helped him get out from under that constant rain cloud.

If you've ever felt like you lost everything overnight after taking off the uniform, this episode is a blueprint for finding your footing again.

Timestamps:

  • 03:01 Losing community, pay, and benefits all at once
  • 07:27 Throwing out uniforms and hiding veteran identity
  • 17:49 How fitness pulled him back from depression and 300 pounds
  • 28:40 Pain into progress, building discipline one day at a time
  • 35:36 Emotional regulation and telling yourself to "shut up"

Links & Resources

Transcript

View the transcript for this episode.

]]> full 535 false Leaving the military can feel like stepping off a cliff. One day, you've got steady pay, housing, and a community that's always around. The next day, it's all gone. That's the reality Robert Wheeler faced when he left the Navy. He went from structure and purpose to bills stacking up, silence from the people he served with, and depression that pushed him past 300 pounds.

In this conversation, Robert opens up about why he once threw out his uniforms and refused to even call himself a veteran. He shares the hard lessons he learned about VA benefits, how Chapter 31 gave him time freedom to rebuild, and why fitness is needed for more than just looks. You'll hear him talk about how to handle when negative spirals hit, and how gratitude helped him get out from under that constant rain cloud.

If you've ever felt like you lost everything overnight after taking off the uniform, this episode is a blueprint for finding your footing again.

Timestamps:

  • 03:01 Losing community, pay, and benefits all at once
  • 07:27 Throwing out uniforms and hiding veteran identity
  • 17:49 How fitness pulled him back from depression and 300 pounds
  • 28:40 Pain into progress, building discipline one day at a time
  • 35:36 Emotional regulation and telling yourself to "shut up"

Links & Resources

Transcript

View the transcript for this episode.

]]> 00:51:23 <![CDATA[Treating Veteran Transition Like an Experiment]]> Thu, 16 Oct 2025 11:30:00 +0000 Scott DeLuzio https://permalink.castos.com/podcast/2296/episode/2127990 Losing the uniform can mean losing identity, reputation, and even the sense of mission that kept you moving forward. For many, the transition feels like starting from zero. That is exactly what Stephen Bump faced after 12 years in the Air Force. His journey carried him from aerospace engineering to Eli Lilly, through business school, and finally into building his own consulting firm. Along the way, he learned to trust others, embrace humility, protect family time, and make career moves that aligned with his own values, not just someone else's definition of success.

This conversation is about facing the uncomfortable reality that no one in your civilian job cares about your rank or medals, and how that is not the end but the beginning. From finding purpose in unexpected industries, to reclaiming fitness and family balance, to using the GI Bill and veteran resources to carve a better future, Stephen lays out a roadmap any veteran can use to transition with clarity and confidence.

Timestamps:

  • 00:07:45 - The hardest part of starting over in civilian careers
  • 00:15:45 - Losing fitness and regaining it through entrepreneurship
  • 00:22:15 - The freedom and responsibility of choosing your own clients
  • 00:28:30 - Breaking free from other people's definitions of success
  • 00:39:00 - The veteran resources that made the biggest difference

Links & Resources

Transcript

View the transcript for this episode.

]]> full 534 false Losing the uniform can mean losing identity, reputation, and even the sense of mission that kept you moving forward. For many, the transition feels like starting from zero. That is exactly what Stephen Bump faced after 12 years in the Air Force. His journey carried him from aerospace engineering to Eli Lilly, through business school, and finally into building his own consulting firm. Along the way, he learned to trust others, embrace humility, protect family time, and make career moves that aligned with his own values, not just someone else's definition of success.

This conversation is about facing the uncomfortable reality that no one in your civilian job cares about your rank or medals, and how that is not the end but the beginning. From finding purpose in unexpected industries, to reclaiming fitness and family balance, to using the GI Bill and veteran resources to carve a better future, Stephen lays out a roadmap any veteran can use to transition with clarity and confidence.

Timestamps:

  • 00:07:45 - The hardest part of starting over in civilian careers
  • 00:15:45 - Losing fitness and regaining it through entrepreneurship
  • 00:22:15 - The freedom and responsibility of choosing your own clients
  • 00:28:30 - Breaking free from other people's definitions of success
  • 00:39:00 - The veteran resources that made the biggest difference

Links & Resources

Transcript

View the transcript for this episode.

]]> 00:53:14 <![CDATA[Turning Grief Into a Greater Mission]]> Tue, 14 Oct 2025 10:30:00 +0000 Scott DeLuzio https://permalink.castos.com/podcast/2296/episode/2112719 Jennifer Ballou's deployment to Afghanistan was supposed to overlap briefly with her husband's fourth combat tour. They'd have a couple of months in-country together, then he'd head home to the kids while she finished her year. That plan ended the night she learned he'd been killed in action.

She came home with his flag-draped casket and stepped into a new reality: single parent, senior leader, and a grieving spouse trying to make sense of it all. She talks about the tough balance between duty and family, the moments the Army got it right, the times they didn't, and how her kids showed resilience she'll never forget.

Now, as Chief of Staff for the Global War on Terrorism Memorial Foundation, Jennifer is still serving. This time, by making sure the stories of service and sacrifice are never lost. This conversation is about loss, leadership, and finding purpose on the other side of tragedy.

Timestamps

  • 00:04:30 - The night everything changed in Afghanistan
  • 00:09:30 - Flying home with her husband's casket
  • 00:12:50 - Trying to lead soldiers while grieving
  • 00:21:20 - When leadership fell short-and when they stepped up
  • 00:29:40 - From Gold Star fellow to Chief of Staff at the GWOT Memorial Foundation

Links & Resources

Transcript

View the transcript for this episode.

]]> full 533 false Jennifer Ballou's deployment to Afghanistan was supposed to overlap briefly with her husband's fourth combat tour. They'd have a couple of months in-country together, then he'd head home to the kids while she finished her year. That plan ended the night she learned he'd been killed in action.

She came home with his flag-draped casket and stepped into a new reality: single parent, senior leader, and a grieving spouse trying to make sense of it all. She talks about the tough balance between duty and family, the moments the Army got it right, the times they didn't, and how her kids showed resilience she'll never forget.

Now, as Chief of Staff for the Global War on Terrorism Memorial Foundation, Jennifer is still serving. This time, by making sure the stories of service and sacrifice are never lost. This conversation is about loss, leadership, and finding purpose on the other side of tragedy.

Timestamps

  • 00:04:30 - The night everything changed in Afghanistan
  • 00:09:30 - Flying home with her husband's casket
  • 00:12:50 - Trying to lead soldiers while grieving
  • 00:21:20 - When leadership fell short-and when they stepped up
  • 00:29:40 - From Gold Star fellow to Chief of Staff at the GWOT Memorial Foundation

Links & Resources

Transcript

View the transcript for this episode.

]]> 00:45:45 <![CDATA[Fighting the Rush After Combat]]> Thu, 09 Oct 2025 10:30:00 +0000 Scott DeLuzio https://permalink.castos.com/podcast/2296/episode/2107920 The battlefield changes you, but the real fight might start when you get home.

Ben Sykes went from web designer to Marine machine gunner during the invasion of Iraq, living through relentless firefights, surreal moments in Saddam's palaces, and the strange calm of enemy fire becoming routine.

But nothing prepared him for the turbulence of reintegration. Restless nights, the crash of losing combat's adrenaline, and the struggle to fit into a world that no longer made sense. In this conversation, Ben opens up about the chemical withdrawal of leaving war, the dangerous paths veterans can fall into, and the hard-earned lessons he wishes he'd known during his transition.

Whether you've been in the fight yourself or love someone who has, his story is a brutally honest look at what it takes to reclaim your footing after service.

Timestamps:

  • 00:10:40 - Trading Hollywood for the yellow footprints
  • 00:12:50 - First firefight on the road to Baghdad
  • 00:23:10 - Securing Saddam's palace and the gold they never saw
  • 00:28:50 - The chemical withdrawal of coming home
  • 00:37:00 - From homelessness to finding a new mission

Links & Resources

Transcript

View the transcript for this episode.

]]> full 532 false The battlefield changes you, but the real fight might start when you get home.

Ben Sykes went from web designer to Marine machine gunner during the invasion of Iraq, living through relentless firefights, surreal moments in Saddam's palaces, and the strange calm of enemy fire becoming routine.

But nothing prepared him for the turbulence of reintegration. Restless nights, the crash of losing combat's adrenaline, and the struggle to fit into a world that no longer made sense. In this conversation, Ben opens up about the chemical withdrawal of leaving war, the dangerous paths veterans can fall into, and the hard-earned lessons he wishes he'd known during his transition.

Whether you've been in the fight yourself or love someone who has, his story is a brutally honest look at what it takes to reclaim your footing after service.

Timestamps:

  • 00:10:40 - Trading Hollywood for the yellow footprints
  • 00:12:50 - First firefight on the road to Baghdad
  • 00:23:10 - Securing Saddam's palace and the gold they never saw
  • 00:28:50 - The chemical withdrawal of coming home
  • 00:37:00 - From homelessness to finding a new mission

Links & Resources

Transcript

View the transcript for this episode.

]]> 00:55:33 <![CDATA[How Psychedelics Help After Military Service]]> Tue, 07 Oct 2025 10:00:00 +0000 Scott DeLuzio https://permalink.castos.com/podcast/2296/episode/2104847 After two deployments and a solid run in the Marine Corps, Susannah Stokes did what a lot of vets do-she took her leadership skills into the corporate world. But even with a great job at Facebook and everything looking good on paper, something still felt off.

This episode talks about what happens when the structure goes away, and you're left trying to figure out who you are. Susannah opens up about feeling undervalued, disconnected, and stuck in roles that didn't reflect what she was capable of. She talks about the identity crash after service, the limits of traditional therapy, and how psychedelics helped her see things differently, without numbing out.

We also get into how she's helping others now and what legal psychedelic support can look like.

Timestamps

  • 00:02:00 - From a Marine Corps deployment to Facebook's corporate culture
  • 00:06:45 - Why many vets are under-placed in civilian roles
  • 00:14:20 - Losing faith, identity, and the question that changed everything
  • 00:23:40 - How psychedelics rewired trauma loops and revealed purpose
  • 00:44:20 - Finding legal, structured healing through guided plant medicine

Links & Resources

Transcript

View the transcript for this episode.

]]> full 531 false After two deployments and a solid run in the Marine Corps, Susannah Stokes did what a lot of vets do-she took her leadership skills into the corporate world. But even with a great job at Facebook and everything looking good on paper, something still felt off.

This episode talks about what happens when the structure goes away, and you're left trying to figure out who you are. Susannah opens up about feeling undervalued, disconnected, and stuck in roles that didn't reflect what she was capable of. She talks about the identity crash after service, the limits of traditional therapy, and how psychedelics helped her see things differently, without numbing out.

We also get into how she's helping others now and what legal psychedelic support can look like.

Timestamps

  • 00:02:00 - From a Marine Corps deployment to Facebook's corporate culture
  • 00:06:45 - Why many vets are under-placed in civilian roles
  • 00:14:20 - Losing faith, identity, and the question that changed everything
  • 00:23:40 - How psychedelics rewired trauma loops and revealed purpose
  • 00:44:20 - Finding legal, structured healing through guided plant medicine

Links & Resources

Transcript

View the transcript for this episode.

]]> 00:58:36 <![CDATA[Get the VA Disability Rating You Deserve]]> Thu, 02 Oct 2025 08:00:00 +0000 Scott DeLuzio https://permalink.castos.com/podcast/2296/episode/2092838 You served your country, endured physical pain, and now struggle to get the benefits you rightfully earned. If navigating the VA disability claims system feels like a second battle, this episode is your lifeline.

Dr. Adam Weissman, an emergency physician turned veteran advocate, pulls back the curtain on the VA disability rating process. He shares insider knowledge to help you sidestep common pitfalls, clarify confusing terms, and leverage expert medical evaluations from REE Medical to achieve the disability rating you truly deserve. Stop settling for less. Here's your path to securing better support, financial stability, and peace of mind.

Timestamps

  • 00:02:00 - The Hidden Roadblocks in VA Disability Claims
  • 00:10:30 - How Expert Evaluations Can Boost Your Rating
  • 00:21:00 - What Happens When You're Underrated
  • 00:28:15 - The Extra Benefits of Higher Ratings
  • 00:34:00 - Avoiding Predatory Disability Claim Services

Links & Resources

Transcript

View the transcript for this episode.

* - This page contains affiliate links. If you click a link and purchase a product or service, I may earn a small commission, which in no way affects the price you pay for the service.

]]> full 530 false You served your country, endured physical pain, and now struggle to get the benefits you rightfully earned. If navigating the VA disability claims system feels like a second battle, this episode is your lifeline.

Dr. Adam Weissman, an emergency physician turned veteran advocate, pulls back the curtain on the VA disability rating process. He shares insider knowledge to help you sidestep common pitfalls, clarify confusing terms, and leverage expert medical evaluations from REE Medical to achieve the disability rating you truly deserve. Stop settling for less. Here's your path to securing better support, financial stability, and peace of mind.

Timestamps

  • 00:02:00 - The Hidden Roadblocks in VA Disability Claims
  • 00:10:30 - How Expert Evaluations Can Boost Your Rating
  • 00:21:00 - What Happens When You're Underrated
  • 00:28:15 - The Extra Benefits of Higher Ratings
  • 00:34:00 - Avoiding Predatory Disability Claim Services

Links & Resources

Transcript

View the transcript for this episode.

* - This page contains affiliate links. If you click a link and purchase a product or service, I may earn a small commission, which in no way affects the price you pay for the service.

]]> 00:49:34 <![CDATA[Building Veteran Community Through Fitness]]> Tue, 30 Sep 2025 08:00:00 +0000 Scott DeLuzio https://permalink.castos.com/podcast/2296/episode/2092831 Chris Smith didn't plan to become the program director of a veteran fitness nonprofit. When he left the Army, his only goal was to stay afloat. But after facing down PTSD, relationship struggles, and a stretch of homelessness, he found himself on a new path-one focused on health, consistency, and community.

In this episode, Chris talks about how Warrior Strong helped him rebuild his identity and give back to others dealing with similar struggles. He shares what it was like to go from engineering missions in Iraq to sleeping in his car, and how a single yoga class turned into a whole new way to serve.

Whether you're a veteran looking for your next step or just trying to feel a little more grounded, this conversation is about what's possible when you stop waiting and start showing up.

Timestamps

  • 00:01:00 - 9/11 hit during basic training
  • 00:12:30 - Losing stability after service
  • 00:17:00 - How yoga and fitness changed everything
  • 00:34:15 - What Warrior Strong offers right now
  • 00:44:00 - Advice for veterans stuck in place

Links & Resources

Transcript

View the transcript for this episode.

]]> full 529 false Chris Smith didn't plan to become the program director of a veteran fitness nonprofit. When he left the Army, his only goal was to stay afloat. But after facing down PTSD, relationship struggles, and a stretch of homelessness, he found himself on a new path-one focused on health, consistency, and community.

In this episode, Chris talks about how Warrior Strong helped him rebuild his identity and give back to others dealing with similar struggles. He shares what it was like to go from engineering missions in Iraq to sleeping in his car, and how a single yoga class turned into a whole new way to serve.

Whether you're a veteran looking for your next step or just trying to feel a little more grounded, this conversation is about what's possible when you stop waiting and start showing up.

Timestamps

  • 00:01:00 - 9/11 hit during basic training
  • 00:12:30 - Losing stability after service
  • 00:17:00 - How yoga and fitness changed everything
  • 00:34:15 - What Warrior Strong offers right now
  • 00:44:00 - Advice for veterans stuck in place

Links & Resources

Transcript

View the transcript for this episode.

]]> 01:00:36 <![CDATA[How Veterans Stay Mentally and Physically Strong]]> Thu, 25 Sep 2025 08:00:00 +0000 Scott DeLuzio https://permalink.castos.com/podcast/2296/episode/2092817 When the uniform comes off, many veterans feel like they've lost their team. And with it, their purpose. Michael "Sully" Sullivan knows that feeling firsthand, having spent 30 years in Special Forces. But instead of fading into isolation, he stepped into a new mission with Team RWB, helping veterans reconnect, rebuild accountability, and strengthen their health.

In this conversation, Sully shares how Team RWB brings veterans together around fitness, connection, and community. From cross-country flag relays to local meetups.

Topics Discussed

  • How Sully's Special Forces career led him to Team RWB's mission
  • The story and impact of the Old Glory Relay
  • How accountability and community crush isolation after service
  • The connection between physical activity, health, and mental wellness
  • How Team RWB helps veterans stay engaged through local chapters and the app

Notable Quotes

  • "It took a team to get the team across the country."
  • "Your participation is helping out that person that you're seeing at these different events."
  • "You join the team, you see yourself as like, not only taking care of yourself, but your participation is helping out that person."
  • "There's just so much power, I think, in the veteran population."
  • "The idea is that we're always there for you to come back."

Links & Resources

Transcript

View the transcript for this episode.

]]> full 528 false When the uniform comes off, many veterans feel like they've lost their team. And with it, their purpose. Michael "Sully" Sullivan knows that feeling firsthand, having spent 30 years in Special Forces. But instead of fading into isolation, he stepped into a new mission with Team RWB, helping veterans reconnect, rebuild accountability, and strengthen their health.

In this conversation, Sully shares how Team RWB brings veterans together around fitness, connection, and community. From cross-country flag relays to local meetups.

Topics Discussed

  • How Sully's Special Forces career led him to Team RWB's mission
  • The story and impact of the Old Glory Relay
  • How accountability and community crush isolation after service
  • The connection between physical activity, health, and mental wellness
  • How Team RWB helps veterans stay engaged through local chapters and the app

Notable Quotes

  • "It took a team to get the team across the country."
  • "Your participation is helping out that person that you're seeing at these different events."
  • "You join the team, you see yourself as like, not only taking care of yourself, but your participation is helping out that person."
  • "There's just so much power, I think, in the veteran population."
  • "The idea is that we're always there for you to come back."

Links & Resources

Transcript

View the transcript for this episode.

]]> 00:48:30 <![CDATA[From Musician to Soldier and the Invisible Wounds After War]]> Tue, 23 Sep 2025 08:00:00 +0000 Scott DeLuzio https://permalink.castos.com/podcast/2296/episode/2087018 Joseph Fontenot gave up a rising career in music to enlist in the Army, only to be thrust into unexpected combat roles in Iraq and Afghanistan.

He discusses his experiences while deployed, injuries that aren't always physical, and the challenge of finding direction and building a meaningful life after returning home.

Links & Resources

Transcript

View the transcript for this episode.

]]> full 527 false Joseph Fontenot gave up a rising career in music to enlist in the Army, only to be thrust into unexpected combat roles in Iraq and Afghanistan.

He discusses his experiences while deployed, injuries that aren't always physical, and the challenge of finding direction and building a meaningful life after returning home.

Links & Resources

Transcript

View the transcript for this episode.

]]> 00:53:47 <![CDATA[Total Force Plus Making Military and Veteran Connections]]> Thu, 18 Sep 2025 10:30:00 +0000 Scott DeLuzio https://permalink.castos.com/podcast/2296/episode/2116833 Transitioning out of the military brings challenges that don't end when the uniform comes off. Benefits, family readiness, and the search for a new purpose can all feel overwhelming. In this conversation, USAF Lt. Gen. (Ret) Brian Kelly, President and CEO of the Military Officers Association of America, shares how his decades of service have led him to focus on protecting what veterans and their families have earned.

A key part of that mission is the TotalForce+ conference, a groundbreaking event designed to connect service members, veterans, government leaders, and industry partners. Brian breaks down the four pillars driving the conference: career transition, community support, benefits advocacy, and crisis response, and why bringing all these voices together matters for the future of the military community.

From scholarships for military kids to disaster relief when veterans are displaced, to real solutions being built at TotalForce+, this episode gives you a look at how advocacy and action come together. If you've been searching for hope that someone is fighting for you and your family, this conversation will show you exactly where that work is happening.

Timestamps

  • 00:02:30 - Why Brian Kelly chose to continue serving after 33 years in uniform
  • 00:06:45 - How MOAA scholarships help military kids overcome constant moves
  • 00:08:45 - Crisis relief for veterans who fall through the cracks
  • 00:17:15 - The four pillars shaping the Total Force Plus conference
  • 00:23:00 - Using new tools to make transition smoother for veterans

Links & Resources

Transcript

View the transcript for this episode.

]]> full 526 false Transitioning out of the military brings challenges that don't end when the uniform comes off. Benefits, family readiness, and the search for a new purpose can all feel overwhelming. In this conversation, USAF Lt. Gen. (Ret) Brian Kelly, President and CEO of the Military Officers Association of America, shares how his decades of service have led him to focus on protecting what veterans and their families have earned.

A key part of that mission is the TotalForce+ conference, a groundbreaking event designed to connect service members, veterans, government leaders, and industry partners. Brian breaks down the four pillars driving the conference: career transition, community support, benefits advocacy, and crisis response, and why bringing all these voices together matters for the future of the military community.

From scholarships for military kids to disaster relief when veterans are displaced, to real solutions being built at TotalForce+, this episode gives you a look at how advocacy and action come together. If you've been searching for hope that someone is fighting for you and your family, this conversation will show you exactly where that work is happening.

Timestamps

  • 00:02:30 - Why Brian Kelly chose to continue serving after 33 years in uniform
  • 00:06:45 - How MOAA scholarships help military kids overcome constant moves
  • 00:08:45 - Crisis relief for veterans who fall through the cracks
  • 00:17:15 - The four pillars shaping the Total Force Plus conference
  • 00:23:00 - Using new tools to make transition smoother for veterans

Links & Resources

Transcript

View the transcript for this episode.

]]> 00:42:04 <![CDATA[Overcoming Perfectionism and Combat Stress]]> Tue, 16 Sep 2025 08:00:00 +0000 Scott DeLuzio https://permalink.castos.com/podcast/2296/episode/2086999 Cole Grace knows danger up close. In Iraq, he spent his days disarming IEDs and dodging sniper fire. But coming home wasn't the relief he'd expected. Instead, he found himself at war again, trapped in a loop of relentless perfectionism, unexplained chronic pain, and an addiction that crept up quietly, almost unnoticed.

In this conversation, Cole opens up about the brutal reality of fighting battles you can't see. He shares how he finally confronted childhood wounds that had intensified his combat trauma and what it took to silence the inner voice that always said he wasn't enough. If you've ever felt stuck in your head, lost in your own pain, or wondered if peace is even possible, this episode is for you.

Timestamps:

  • 01:00 - Facing bombs and bullets in Iraq
  • 08:45 - How combat fuels relentless perfectionism
  • 20:30 - Addiction, chronic pain, and medical dead-ends
  • 28:15 - Rewiring trauma without the BS
  • 35:45 - Finding peace after chasing success

Links & Resources

Transcript

View the transcript for this episode.

]]> full 525 false Cole Grace knows danger up close. In Iraq, he spent his days disarming IEDs and dodging sniper fire. But coming home wasn't the relief he'd expected. Instead, he found himself at war again, trapped in a loop of relentless perfectionism, unexplained chronic pain, and an addiction that crept up quietly, almost unnoticed.

In this conversation, Cole opens up about the brutal reality of fighting battles you can't see. He shares how he finally confronted childhood wounds that had intensified his combat trauma and what it took to silence the inner voice that always said he wasn't enough. If you've ever felt stuck in your head, lost in your own pain, or wondered if peace is even possible, this episode is for you.

Timestamps:

  • 01:00 - Facing bombs and bullets in Iraq
  • 08:45 - How combat fuels relentless perfectionism
  • 20:30 - Addiction, chronic pain, and medical dead-ends
  • 28:15 - Rewiring trauma without the BS
  • 35:45 - Finding peace after chasing success

Links & Resources

Transcript

View the transcript for this episode.

]]> 00:55:14 <![CDATA[How Military and Veteran Families Make Homeschool Work]]> Thu, 11 Sep 2025 08:00:00 +0000 Scott DeLuzio https://permalink.castos.com/podcast/2296/episode/2086979 If you're active duty or a veteran with kids, you already know the school system doesn't move with you. New duty station, new rules, new problems, and your kids pay the price.

Natalie Mack has been homeschooling for over two decades while her family bounced from base to base, including overseas. She's not selling you sunshine and Pinterest-perfect school days. She breaks down exactly what it takes to homeschool in a military lifestyle, what families screw up, and how to do it smarter.

This episode discusses:

  • What you need to know before your next PCS
  • How to deal with overseas laws that technically ban homeschooling
  • Why more military families are ditching public school and how it affects military retention
  • The benefits for your kids (and yourself) when you take back control

Links & Resources

Transcript

View the transcript for this episode.

]]> full 524 false If you're active duty or a veteran with kids, you already know the school system doesn't move with you. New duty station, new rules, new problems, and your kids pay the price.

Natalie Mack has been homeschooling for over two decades while her family bounced from base to base, including overseas. She's not selling you sunshine and Pinterest-perfect school days. She breaks down exactly what it takes to homeschool in a military lifestyle, what families screw up, and how to do it smarter.

This episode discusses:

  • What you need to know before your next PCS
  • How to deal with overseas laws that technically ban homeschooling
  • Why more military families are ditching public school and how it affects military retention
  • The benefits for your kids (and yourself) when you take back control

Links & Resources

Transcript

View the transcript for this episode.

]]> 00:50:14 <![CDATA[Why Veterans Crave Chaos]]> Tue, 09 Sep 2025 08:00:00 +0000 Scott DeLuzio https://permalink.castos.com/podcast/2296/episode/2086804 Veterans often return home to a world that feels muted. Mark Haddad, a former Army soldier and contractor, breaks down the reason why: our body-mind-soul system gets rewired by trauma and adrenaline, and everyday life just can't compete. This episode talks about the science behind why vets crave danger, sabotage stability, and feel disconnected from "normal."

From surviving a parachute malfunction to confronting evil in Africa, Mark shares stories that any vet who's struggled to slow down will understand. You'll learn how to stop blaming yourself for what your brain and body were trained to do.

Timestamps

  • 00:02:15 - Surviving a combat parachute malfunction
  • 00:06:45 - Realizing your purpose isn't downrange
  • 00:10:15 - Why veterans chase chaos after war
  • 00:16:30 - The adrenaline bar theory explained
  • 00:44:30 - How to regain control over your internal chemistry

Links & Resources

Transcript

View the transcript for this episode.

]]> full 523 false Veterans often return home to a world that feels muted. Mark Haddad, a former Army soldier and contractor, breaks down the reason why: our body-mind-soul system gets rewired by trauma and adrenaline, and everyday life just can't compete. This episode talks about the science behind why vets crave danger, sabotage stability, and feel disconnected from "normal."

From surviving a parachute malfunction to confronting evil in Africa, Mark shares stories that any vet who's struggled to slow down will understand. You'll learn how to stop blaming yourself for what your brain and body were trained to do.

Timestamps

  • 00:02:15 - Surviving a combat parachute malfunction
  • 00:06:45 - Realizing your purpose isn't downrange
  • 00:10:15 - Why veterans chase chaos after war
  • 00:16:30 - The adrenaline bar theory explained
  • 00:44:30 - How to regain control over your internal chemistry

Links & Resources

Transcript

View the transcript for this episode.

]]> 01:09:00 <![CDATA[The Real Cost of Military Transition]]> Thu, 04 Sep 2025 08:00:00 +0000 Scott DeLuzio https://permalink.castos.com/podcast/2296/episode/2086796 He gave the Army 20 years, 8 months, and 8 days, nearly all of it in special operations. From Ranger Regiment to Green Beret team sergeant, Joshua Daniel lived and breathed the mission. But when the wars ended, so did the mission, and he felt it in every bone, every memory, every unfinished story.

Rather than fade out, he built something bigger than himself.

In this episode, Joshua opens up about the pain of stepping away, the harsh words that forced him to rethink his exit, and how he turned guilt into leadership with Hero Games Charity and Counterculture Solutions. From one-on-one mentoring to purpose-driven events honoring Gold Star families, he's proving there's still work worth doing, and it starts with refusing to settle for half a life.

Timestamps:

  • 00:00:30 - From 134 pounds to Green Beret: Building grit through the suck
  • 00:06:00 - The moment a younger soldier called him out-and why it changed his path
  • 00:10:00 - Starting over with Hero Games and finding new purpose
  • 00:19:45 - Why honoring one family a year matters more than doing it all
  • 00:38:00 - The hard truth about veterans wasting their lives post-military

Links & Resources

Transcript

View the transcript for this episode.

]]> full 522 false He gave the Army 20 years, 8 months, and 8 days, nearly all of it in special operations. From Ranger Regiment to Green Beret team sergeant, Joshua Daniel lived and breathed the mission. But when the wars ended, so did the mission, and he felt it in every bone, every memory, every unfinished story.

Rather than fade out, he built something bigger than himself.

In this episode, Joshua opens up about the pain of stepping away, the harsh words that forced him to rethink his exit, and how he turned guilt into leadership with Hero Games Charity and Counterculture Solutions. From one-on-one mentoring to purpose-driven events honoring Gold Star families, he's proving there's still work worth doing, and it starts with refusing to settle for half a life.

Timestamps:

  • 00:00:30 - From 134 pounds to Green Beret: Building grit through the suck
  • 00:06:00 - The moment a younger soldier called him out-and why it changed his path
  • 00:10:00 - Starting over with Hero Games and finding new purpose
  • 00:19:45 - Why honoring one family a year matters more than doing it all
  • 00:38:00 - The hard truth about veterans wasting their lives post-military

Links & Resources

Transcript

View the transcript for this episode.

]]> 00:59:39 <![CDATA[One Vet's Fix for the VA's Failures]]> Tue, 02 Sep 2025 08:00:00 +0000 Scott DeLuzio https://permalink.castos.com/podcast/2296/episode/2086759 Kris Searles got blown out, broken down, and pushed out. The VA gave him pills. He gave them the finger.

Instead of numbing out, he wrote a check, got stem cell therapy, fixed his back, got his life back, and started helping others do the same. Now, through Overwatch 6, he's funding treatments that work, no pills, no surgeries, no BS.

He's also training vets to coach each other through trauma. No therapy jargon. Just guys who've been through hell, helping others crawl out of it.

If you've ever stared at your pill bottle and thought, "There's gotta be a better way," this may be that way.

Timestamps:

  • 00:02:30 - Iraq sniper op, hunting high-value targets
  • 00:11:45 - Ambushed and losing his whole team days before redeployment
  • 00:16:15 - Crawling out of bed until stem cells changed everything
  • 00:20:00 - VA's failures and how real healing works
  • 00:37:45 - Coaching vets through trauma without the psychobabble

Links & Resources

Transcript

View the transcript for this episode.

]]> full 521 false Kris Searles got blown out, broken down, and pushed out. The VA gave him pills. He gave them the finger.

Instead of numbing out, he wrote a check, got stem cell therapy, fixed his back, got his life back, and started helping others do the same. Now, through Overwatch 6, he's funding treatments that work, no pills, no surgeries, no BS.

He's also training vets to coach each other through trauma. No therapy jargon. Just guys who've been through hell, helping others crawl out of it.

If you've ever stared at your pill bottle and thought, "There's gotta be a better way," this may be that way.

Timestamps:

  • 00:02:30 - Iraq sniper op, hunting high-value targets
  • 00:11:45 - Ambushed and losing his whole team days before redeployment
  • 00:16:15 - Crawling out of bed until stem cells changed everything
  • 00:20:00 - VA's failures and how real healing works
  • 00:37:45 - Coaching vets through trauma without the psychobabble

Links & Resources

Transcript

View the transcript for this episode.

]]> 00:59:39 <![CDATA[PTSD is Wrecking You. Fix it Now.]]> Thu, 28 Aug 2025 08:00:00 +0000 Scott DeLuzio https://permalink.castos.com/podcast/2296/episode/2086745 If life after the military feels like it's constantly on edge, you need tools that actually help you get your head straight.

Dr. Barbara Thompson is an Army veteran and psychologist who worked directly with Special Operations and high-risk teams who didn't have the luxury of falling apart. She knows what high stress does to the brain and how to fix it before it burns you down.

This episode is for the guy who's tried to muscle through PTSD, anxiety, or feeling disconnected (and it's not working). You'll learn how to spot when your brain is running on survival mode and what to do in the moment to break the spiral.

Links & Resources

Transcript

View the transcript for this episode.

]]> full 520 false If life after the military feels like it's constantly on edge, you need tools that actually help you get your head straight.

Dr. Barbara Thompson is an Army veteran and psychologist who worked directly with Special Operations and high-risk teams who didn't have the luxury of falling apart. She knows what high stress does to the brain and how to fix it before it burns you down.

This episode is for the guy who's tried to muscle through PTSD, anxiety, or feeling disconnected (and it's not working). You'll learn how to spot when your brain is running on survival mode and what to do in the moment to break the spiral.

Links & Resources

Transcript

View the transcript for this episode.

]]> 00:51:28 <![CDATA[Veteran Suicide Awareness Through Rock]]> Tue, 26 Aug 2025 08:00:00 +0000 Scott DeLuzio https://permalink.castos.com/podcast/2296/episode/2082113 What happens when music becomes a lifeline, capturing the stories and struggles veterans carry silently? Today's guests, Bronson Hetzer and Cody Doench, from The Filthy Heathens, take us on an emotional journey through their song "Cyril," a tribute to a fallen friend lost to suicide after combat.

It's a gut-punching reminder of why staying connected matters and why reaching out could save lives. Discover how their music serves as therapy, healing wounds that words alone can't touch, and how the power of brotherhood transcends even the darkest days.

Stay until the end for the full song. It's one you won't forget.

Timestamps

  • 00:01:30 - Behind the Song "Cyril" and a friend's memory
  • 00:08:15 - Why music can say what words can't
  • 00:16:00 - Brotherhood beyond the battlefield
  • 00:24:30 - The impact of one powerful song
  • 00:32:45 - The critical importance of reaching out

Links & Resources

Transcript

View the transcript for this episode.

]]> full 519 false What happens when music becomes a lifeline, capturing the stories and struggles veterans carry silently? Today's guests, Bronson Hetzer and Cody Doench, from The Filthy Heathens, take us on an emotional journey through their song "Cyril," a tribute to a fallen friend lost to suicide after combat.

It's a gut-punching reminder of why staying connected matters and why reaching out could save lives. Discover how their music serves as therapy, healing wounds that words alone can't touch, and how the power of brotherhood transcends even the darkest days.

Stay until the end for the full song. It's one you won't forget.

Timestamps

  • 00:01:30 - Behind the Song "Cyril" and a friend's memory
  • 00:08:15 - Why music can say what words can't
  • 00:16:00 - Brotherhood beyond the battlefield
  • 00:24:30 - The impact of one powerful song
  • 00:32:45 - The critical importance of reaching out

Links & Resources

Transcript

View the transcript for this episode.

]]> 00:42:31 <![CDATA[A Marine's Mission For Mental Health and Fitness]]> Thu, 21 Aug 2025 08:00:00 +0000 Scott DeLuzio https://permalink.castos.com/podcast/2296/episode/2082084 A troubled past led one Marine to find redemption and purpose, turning adversity into a powerful mission. After struggling through his own difficult transition from military to civilian life, Logan Spiewak founded Boots to Health, a groundbreaking program dedicated to helping veterans and first responders reclaim their physical and mental health.

Listen to hear how veterans are finding strength, hope, and a supportive brotherhood through a unique fitness initiative that goes beyond the gym.

Timestamps:

  • 02:15 - Logan's journey from juvenile delinquency to the Marine Corps
  • 10:30 - The inspiration behind Boots to Health
  • 22:45 - A detailed walkthrough of the Boots to Health program
  • 33:00 - How fitness impacts veterans' mental health
  • 36:45 - Bridging generational gaps through veteran camaraderie

Links & Resources

Transcript

View the transcript for this episode.

]]> full 518 false A troubled past led one Marine to find redemption and purpose, turning adversity into a powerful mission. After struggling through his own difficult transition from military to civilian life, Logan Spiewak founded Boots to Health, a groundbreaking program dedicated to helping veterans and first responders reclaim their physical and mental health.

Listen to hear how veterans are finding strength, hope, and a supportive brotherhood through a unique fitness initiative that goes beyond the gym.

Timestamps:

  • 02:15 - Logan's journey from juvenile delinquency to the Marine Corps
  • 10:30 - The inspiration behind Boots to Health
  • 22:45 - A detailed walkthrough of the Boots to Health program
  • 33:00 - How fitness impacts veterans' mental health
  • 36:45 - Bridging generational gaps through veteran camaraderie

Links & Resources

Transcript

View the transcript for this episode.

]]> 00:42:08 <![CDATA[Psychedelic Therapy for Combat Veterans]]> Tue, 19 Aug 2025 08:00:00 +0000 Scott DeLuzio https://permalink.castos.com/podcast/2296/episode/2082063 When the pills stop working and therapy feels like talking to a brick wall, where do you turn? Dr. Charlie Powell, a veteran and multi-board certified physician, opens up about a journey most in his shoes would never talk about, finding healing through psychedelic medicine after years of battling PTSD, depression, and emotional numbness.

His new project, Healing Heroes, captures this radical, personal transformation and the stories of six veterans and first responders who risked everything to find themselves again.

In this episode, we tear down the walls of stigma, see what healing looks like, and share why recovery demands more than just prescriptions and checklists. This is a conversation for anyone who's ever felt broken, lost, or tired of fighting the same battles inside their own head.

Timestamps

  • 04:30 - Why traditional PTSD treatments often fall short
  • 12:15 - The life-altering decision to try psychedelic medicine
  • 19:45 - Building a multidisciplinary path to real healing
  • 28:00 - The devastating impact of stigma and isolation
  • 36:55 - How Healing Heroes is reshaping hope for veterans

Links & Resources

Transcript

View the transcript for this episode.

]]> full 517 false When the pills stop working and therapy feels like talking to a brick wall, where do you turn? Dr. Charlie Powell, a veteran and multi-board certified physician, opens up about a journey most in his shoes would never talk about, finding healing through psychedelic medicine after years of battling PTSD, depression, and emotional numbness.

His new project, Healing Heroes, captures this radical, personal transformation and the stories of six veterans and first responders who risked everything to find themselves again.

In this episode, we tear down the walls of stigma, see what healing looks like, and share why recovery demands more than just prescriptions and checklists. This is a conversation for anyone who's ever felt broken, lost, or tired of fighting the same battles inside their own head.

Timestamps

  • 04:30 - Why traditional PTSD treatments often fall short
  • 12:15 - The life-altering decision to try psychedelic medicine
  • 19:45 - Building a multidisciplinary path to real healing
  • 28:00 - The devastating impact of stigma and isolation
  • 36:55 - How Healing Heroes is reshaping hope for veterans

Links & Resources

Transcript

View the transcript for this episode.

]]> 00:44:56 <![CDATA[Shifting Veteran Mindsets by Healing PTSD with Gratitude]]> Thu, 14 Aug 2025 08:00:00 +0000 Scott DeLuzio https://permalink.castos.com/podcast/2296/episode/2082035 Military spouse Marla Ballard discusses her journey from a farm in Kentucky to navigating the challenges of being a military spouse in the bustling D.C. area. She shares her story of resilience and reinvention after her husband's severe injuries from an IED in Iraq that dramatically reshaped their lives.

Marla faced her own internal struggles, questioning her worth and her future. Now, as the CEO of YU2SHINE, Marla has pioneered a powerful approach known as quantum personal development, helping veterans and military families break free from the limiting beliefs that hold them back.

This conversation will challenge you to rethink your perceptions, cultivate gratitude, and build practical strategies to navigate life's toughest transitions.

Timestamps:

  • 02:00 - Marla's journey as a military spouse and overcoming her husband's combat injury
  • 09:00 - Introduction to Quantum Personal Development
  • 15:00 - Practical steps to shift negative beliefs through gratitude
  • 22:30 - A daily practice for transforming your mindset
  • 35:00 - Free resources and actionable support for veterans

Links & Resources

Transcript

View the transcript for this episode.

]]> full 516 false Military spouse Marla Ballard discusses her journey from a farm in Kentucky to navigating the challenges of being a military spouse in the bustling D.C. area. She shares her story of resilience and reinvention after her husband's severe injuries from an IED in Iraq that dramatically reshaped their lives.

Marla faced her own internal struggles, questioning her worth and her future. Now, as the CEO of YU2SHINE, Marla has pioneered a powerful approach known as quantum personal development, helping veterans and military families break free from the limiting beliefs that hold them back.

This conversation will challenge you to rethink your perceptions, cultivate gratitude, and build practical strategies to navigate life's toughest transitions.

Timestamps:

  • 02:00 - Marla's journey as a military spouse and overcoming her husband's combat injury
  • 09:00 - Introduction to Quantum Personal Development
  • 15:00 - Practical steps to shift negative beliefs through gratitude
  • 22:30 - A daily practice for transforming your mindset
  • 35:00 - Free resources and actionable support for veterans

Links & Resources

Transcript

View the transcript for this episode.

]]> 00:44:51 <![CDATA[Overcoming Isolation as a Veteran]]> Tue, 12 Aug 2025 08:00:00 +0000 Scott DeLuzio https://permalink.castos.com/podcast/2296/episode/2081825 After the service, feeling isolated can hit harder than expected. You move to a new place, start a new chapter, and suddenly realize that building real connections isn't easy anymore. That's where today's conversation lights a fire.

Michael Chahinian opens up about his own post-Navy struggles with loneliness and the incredible journey that led him to create Krew Social. This tool helps veterans and civilians alike build vibrant, in-person communities based on shared interests. This episode talks about reclaiming the camaraderie, connection, and purpose that so many miss after military life.

From organizing bike rides and book clubs to hosting lunch meetups after church, Krew Social shows how simple moments can lead to lifelong bonds, and even life-changing moments like finding a spouse. If you've been feeling the weight of isolation, this episode delivers hope, real-world solutions, and a new path forward.

Timestamps:

  • 03:00 - The real struggles of making friends after service
  • 08:30 - Why traditional apps fail veterans seeking connection
  • 14:30 - How Krew Social creates real-world community
  • 19:00 - Impact stories that prove connection changes lives
  • 37:00 - Why reducing loneliness is crucial for veteran mental health

Links & Resources

Transcript

View the transcript for this episode.

]]> full 515 false After the service, feeling isolated can hit harder than expected. You move to a new place, start a new chapter, and suddenly realize that building real connections isn't easy anymore. That's where today's conversation lights a fire.

Michael Chahinian opens up about his own post-Navy struggles with loneliness and the incredible journey that led him to create Krew Social. This tool helps veterans and civilians alike build vibrant, in-person communities based on shared interests. This episode talks about reclaiming the camaraderie, connection, and purpose that so many miss after military life.

From organizing bike rides and book clubs to hosting lunch meetups after church, Krew Social shows how simple moments can lead to lifelong bonds, and even life-changing moments like finding a spouse. If you've been feeling the weight of isolation, this episode delivers hope, real-world solutions, and a new path forward.

Timestamps:

  • 03:00 - The real struggles of making friends after service
  • 08:30 - Why traditional apps fail veterans seeking connection
  • 14:30 - How Krew Social creates real-world community
  • 19:00 - Impact stories that prove connection changes lives
  • 37:00 - Why reducing loneliness is crucial for veteran mental health

Links & Resources

Transcript

View the transcript for this episode.

]]> 00:49:25 <![CDATA[From Deutschland to Devil Dog]]> Thu, 07 Aug 2025 08:00:00 +0000 Scott DeLuzio https://permalink.castos.com/podcast/2296/episode/2081811 Sometimes, the funniest stories are also the most revealing. Andy Dietrich takes us from his teenage years in Germany to the icy roads of Alaska and eventually into the structured chaos of the Marine Corps. His new book, Play Stupid Games, Win Stupid Prizes, is packed with personal stories. Some hilarious, others humbling, but all brutally honest.

This episode digs into why he wrote it, what it means to own your story, and how military experiences, no matter how "unremarkable" they may seem, shape us for life. Whether you're dealing with transition guilt, wondering if your service was "enough," or just need a laugh with someone who gets it, this one hits home.

Timestamps

  • 04:45 - Where the title Play Stupid Games, Win Stupid Prizes comes from
  • 10:45 - Why Andy kept his book project a secret until it was done
  • 17:00 - Hilarious boot camp stories and being the "Germany" guy
  • 24:00 - Feelings of guilt for not deploying after 9/11
  • 41:00 - Redefining success after the military and choosing happiness

Links & Resources

Transcript

View the transcript for this episode.

]]> full 514 false Sometimes, the funniest stories are also the most revealing. Andy Dietrich takes us from his teenage years in Germany to the icy roads of Alaska and eventually into the structured chaos of the Marine Corps. His new book, Play Stupid Games, Win Stupid Prizes, is packed with personal stories. Some hilarious, others humbling, but all brutally honest.

This episode digs into why he wrote it, what it means to own your story, and how military experiences, no matter how "unremarkable" they may seem, shape us for life. Whether you're dealing with transition guilt, wondering if your service was "enough," or just need a laugh with someone who gets it, this one hits home.

Timestamps

  • 04:45 - Where the title Play Stupid Games, Win Stupid Prizes comes from
  • 10:45 - Why Andy kept his book project a secret until it was done
  • 17:00 - Hilarious boot camp stories and being the "Germany" guy
  • 24:00 - Feelings of guilt for not deploying after 9/11
  • 41:00 - Redefining success after the military and choosing happiness

Links & Resources

Transcript

View the transcript for this episode.

]]> 00:51:57 <![CDATA[Finding a Community After Military]]> Tue, 05 Aug 2025 08:19:00 +0000 Scott DeLuzio https://permalink.castos.com/podcast/2296/episode/2081794 Losing the uniform doesn't mean losing your mission. That's the focus of this episode with Marine veteran Sean Abrusci and Warrior Strong founder Tom Tice. Warrior Strong has created a way for veterans to reconnect through fitness, support, and purpose-driven programs that meet people where they are.

They dive into what it looks like to transition out of the military. The questions no one prepares you for, the moments of doubt, and the search for something that feels like it matters. Sean opens up about life after leaving the Marine Corps, the challenge of finding direction, and why so many veterans feel lost even with family and careers around them.

Tom breaks down the Warrior Strong mission and how they're building partnerships across the veteran nonprofit space. If you've ever felt like you were floating without a map after service, this is the conversation you didn't know you needed.

Timestamps:

  • 00:05:00 - From college dropout to combat Marine
  • 00:13:00 - Finding direction after service
  • 00:21:45 - Why veteran nonprofits need to work together
  • 00:30:00 - How purpose evolves in each life chapter
  • 00:41:30 - What honesty with your spouse really looks like

Links & Resources

Transcript

View the transcript for this episode.

]]> full 513 false Losing the uniform doesn't mean losing your mission. That's the focus of this episode with Marine veteran Sean Abrusci and Warrior Strong founder Tom Tice. Warrior Strong has created a way for veterans to reconnect through fitness, support, and purpose-driven programs that meet people where they are.

They dive into what it looks like to transition out of the military. The questions no one prepares you for, the moments of doubt, and the search for something that feels like it matters. Sean opens up about life after leaving the Marine Corps, the challenge of finding direction, and why so many veterans feel lost even with family and careers around them.

Tom breaks down the Warrior Strong mission and how they're building partnerships across the veteran nonprofit space. If you've ever felt like you were floating without a map after service, this is the conversation you didn't know you needed.

Timestamps:

  • 00:05:00 - From college dropout to combat Marine
  • 00:13:00 - Finding direction after service
  • 00:21:45 - Why veteran nonprofits need to work together
  • 00:30:00 - How purpose evolves in each life chapter
  • 00:41:30 - What honesty with your spouse really looks like

Links & Resources

Transcript

View the transcript for this episode.

]]> 00:55:10 <![CDATA[How One Dog Saved a Veteran]]> Thu, 31 Jul 2025 08:00:00 +0000 Scott DeLuzio https://permalink.castos.com/podcast/2296/episode/2071356 Losing the uniform doesn't mean losing your mission. Daniel O'Dell opens up about the brutal reality of life after service. Physical limitations, mental health battles, and the crushing loss of identity. But when everything felt broken, he found healing in the most unexpected way: through his voice and a green-haired service dog named The Fluffy Poodle.

Daniel shares how filming his daily routines with his service dog led to national recognition, community healing, and a renewed purpose. His story is relatable. We discuss struggles with fatherhood, finances, and just getting through the day.

If you've ever felt like the world moved on without you, this is the episode that reminds you that you're not alone, and there's always another mission.

Timestamps

01:30 - Losing purpose after the Army and the job market shock

05:45 - Dark thoughts, survivor's guilt, and saving grace from one powerful speech

09:15 - Building a military-style "sandbox" to navigate civilian life

13:00 - How a service dog rebuilt Daniel's confidence and routine

24:45 - Carrying forward the legacy of those who didn't make it home

Links & Resources

Transcript

View the transcript for this episode.

]]> full 512 false Losing the uniform doesn't mean losing your mission. Daniel O'Dell opens up about the brutal reality of life after service. Physical limitations, mental health battles, and the crushing loss of identity. But when everything felt broken, he found healing in the most unexpected way: through his voice and a green-haired service dog named The Fluffy Poodle.

Daniel shares how filming his daily routines with his service dog led to national recognition, community healing, and a renewed purpose. His story is relatable. We discuss struggles with fatherhood, finances, and just getting through the day.

If you've ever felt like the world moved on without you, this is the episode that reminds you that you're not alone, and there's always another mission.

Timestamps

01:30 - Losing purpose after the Army and the job market shock

05:45 - Dark thoughts, survivor's guilt, and saving grace from one powerful speech

09:15 - Building a military-style "sandbox" to navigate civilian life

13:00 - How a service dog rebuilt Daniel's confidence and routine

24:45 - Carrying forward the legacy of those who didn't make it home

Links & Resources

Transcript

View the transcript for this episode.

]]> 00:51:12 <![CDATA[Fixing the Flaws in Veteran Transition]]> Tue, 29 Jul 2025 08:00:00 +0000 Scott DeLuzio https://permalink.castos.com/podcast/2296/episode/2069728 You've heard the lie: "You'll do great after the military. Companies are lining up to hire vets." But what if that's exactly what's breaking us?

Jason Anderson spent 20 years in the Air Force, leading international missions, and closing out his career at the Pentagon. He was ready for the civilian world, or so he thought. What followed was years of hidden anxiety, 3 a.m. panic, and strained family dynamics, all while climbing the corporate ladder. On the outside, he looked successful. Inside, he was unraveling.

In this eye-opening conversation, Jason dismantles the flawed assumptions behind the military's Transition Assistance Program and reveals the hidden link between poorly executed transitions and veteran mental health crises. He introduces the Modern Military Transition Framework, an approach built by veterans, for veterans, that finally treats post-service life as a whole new operating environment, not just a career move.

Whether you're still serving, just got out, or 10 years post-military and still feel like something's off, this episode is your wake-up call and your blueprint for doing it better.

Timestamps

(04:00) - The invisible struggle behind Jason's "successful" post-military career (07:00) - Why transition stress quietly breaks even high-performing veterans (11:00) - The lie TAP tells and how it sabotages mental health (20:15) - How Jason's modern framework flips the script on transition (38:30) - Retraining your mind for civilian life without losing who you are

Links & Resources

Transcript

View the transcript for this episode.

]]> full 511 false You've heard the lie: "You'll do great after the military. Companies are lining up to hire vets." But what if that's exactly what's breaking us?

Jason Anderson spent 20 years in the Air Force, leading international missions, and closing out his career at the Pentagon. He was ready for the civilian world, or so he thought. What followed was years of hidden anxiety, 3 a.m. panic, and strained family dynamics, all while climbing the corporate ladder. On the outside, he looked successful. Inside, he was unraveling.

In this eye-opening conversation, Jason dismantles the flawed assumptions behind the military's Transition Assistance Program and reveals the hidden link between poorly executed transitions and veteran mental health crises. He introduces the Modern Military Transition Framework, an approach built by veterans, for veterans, that finally treats post-service life as a whole new operating environment, not just a career move.

Whether you're still serving, just got out, or 10 years post-military and still feel like something's off, this episode is your wake-up call and your blueprint for doing it better.

Timestamps

(04:00) - The invisible struggle behind Jason's "successful" post-military career (07:00) - Why transition stress quietly breaks even high-performing veterans (11:00) - The lie TAP tells and how it sabotages mental health (20:15) - How Jason's modern framework flips the script on transition (38:30) - Retraining your mind for civilian life without losing who you are

Links & Resources

Transcript

View the transcript for this episode.

]]> 00:55:49 <![CDATA[Life After Blackwater]]> Thu, 24 Jul 2025 08:00:00 +0000 Scott DeLuzio https://permalink.castos.com/podcast/2296/episode/2065449 Morgan Lerette didn't grow up dreaming about being a private military contractor. Like a lot of veterans, one thing led to another. He got pulled into Blackwater during the height of the Iraq War, rolling through Baghdad with no real rules of engagement, no clear mission beyond keeping people alive, and making more money than he ever thought possible.

In this episode, Morgan talks openly about what contracting was really like. Driving armored SUVs through war zones, making split-second decisions, and dealing with the consequences afterward. He explains how contractors operated alongside the military, why so many signed up, and how the people of Iraq saw it all from their side.

We also get into what happened after he left that world. Morgan shares what helped him figure out the next steps after war and contracting, how he finally built a steady life, and what advice he has for vets who are trying to do the same.

This is the kind of honest conversation you only get from someone who's actually been there.

Timestamps

  • 00:02:00 - From Air National Guard to Blackwater by word of mouth
  • 00:06:00 - Transitioning from contractor back to the Army
  • 00:10:45 - Inside Blackwater culture and the "Guns, Girls, and Greed" mindset
  • 00:19:00 - Why the government keeps using PMCs and the real costs
  • 00:37:30 - Actionable advice for veterans finding their next step

Links & Resources

Transcript

View the transcript for this episode.

]]> full 510 false Morgan Lerette didn't grow up dreaming about being a private military contractor. Like a lot of veterans, one thing led to another. He got pulled into Blackwater during the height of the Iraq War, rolling through Baghdad with no real rules of engagement, no clear mission beyond keeping people alive, and making more money than he ever thought possible.

In this episode, Morgan talks openly about what contracting was really like. Driving armored SUVs through war zones, making split-second decisions, and dealing with the consequences afterward. He explains how contractors operated alongside the military, why so many signed up, and how the people of Iraq saw it all from their side.

We also get into what happened after he left that world. Morgan shares what helped him figure out the next steps after war and contracting, how he finally built a steady life, and what advice he has for vets who are trying to do the same.

This is the kind of honest conversation you only get from someone who's actually been there.

Timestamps

  • 00:02:00 - From Air National Guard to Blackwater by word of mouth
  • 00:06:00 - Transitioning from contractor back to the Army
  • 00:10:45 - Inside Blackwater culture and the "Guns, Girls, and Greed" mindset
  • 00:19:00 - Why the government keeps using PMCs and the real costs
  • 00:37:30 - Actionable advice for veterans finding their next step

Links & Resources

Transcript

View the transcript for this episode.

]]> 00:57:01 <![CDATA[How False Strength Keeps Men Stuck]]> Tue, 22 Jul 2025 08:00:00 +0000 Scott DeLuzio https://permalink.castos.com/podcast/2296/episode/2065354 Strength doesn't always look like what you think. For years, Adam Kasix wore the mask, the intense energy, the warrior mindset, the high-functioning chaos. But behind the scenes, his life was crumbling. Addiction. Divorce. Anger. PTSD. It all came crashing down.

What changed? Adam stopped hiding behind the persona and started doing the real work. In this conversation, he talks about what it really means to become a man, not just a "guy", and how confronting the internal beast is the key to leading your family, healing your past, and building a life that actually feels worth living.

We talk identity, fatherhood, post-service disconnection, and why some of the toughest men Adam coaches are the ones who finally learn to soften.

Timestamps

  • 00:03:15 - Why Adam leads with his lowlights, not his highlights
  • 00:07:30 - Creating the "Guy" archetype and why men get stuck there
  • 00:14:00 - What happens when the warrior leads your home life
  • 00:23:00 - Radar framework for confronting your inner beast
  • 00:43:00 - Why your warrior belongs on QRF, not in the living room

Links & Resources

Transcript

View the transcript for this episode.

]]> full 509 false Strength doesn't always look like what you think. For years, Adam Kasix wore the mask, the intense energy, the warrior mindset, the high-functioning chaos. But behind the scenes, his life was crumbling. Addiction. Divorce. Anger. PTSD. It all came crashing down.

What changed? Adam stopped hiding behind the persona and started doing the real work. In this conversation, he talks about what it really means to become a man, not just a "guy", and how confronting the internal beast is the key to leading your family, healing your past, and building a life that actually feels worth living.

We talk identity, fatherhood, post-service disconnection, and why some of the toughest men Adam coaches are the ones who finally learn to soften.

Timestamps

  • 00:03:15 - Why Adam leads with his lowlights, not his highlights
  • 00:07:30 - Creating the "Guy" archetype and why men get stuck there
  • 00:14:00 - What happens when the warrior leads your home life
  • 00:23:00 - Radar framework for confronting your inner beast
  • 00:43:00 - Why your warrior belongs on QRF, not in the living room

Links & Resources

Transcript

View the transcript for this episode.

]]> 01:17:40 <![CDATA[Surviving the War After the War]]> Thu, 17 Jul 2025 08:00:00 +0000 Scott DeLuzio https://permalink.castos.com/podcast/2296/episode/2065335 What happens when the mission ends but the war inside you doesn't?

Ryan Reichert opens up about life after nearly two decades in the Army, including leading troops in combat, battling chronic PTSD, and losing everything he thought defined him. After a hard fall from grace, broken marriage, lost job, and hitting rock bottom with addiction, Ryan chose a different path.

He shares how he found faith, sobriety, and a renewed sense of purpose through his work at Our Protector Development, a consultancy focused on building strong leaders through lived experience.

If you're battling with purpose, pain, or what comes after service, this episode will hit home.

Links & Resources

Transcript

View the transcript for this episode.

]]> full 508 false What happens when the mission ends but the war inside you doesn't?

Ryan Reichert opens up about life after nearly two decades in the Army, including leading troops in combat, battling chronic PTSD, and losing everything he thought defined him. After a hard fall from grace, broken marriage, lost job, and hitting rock bottom with addiction, Ryan chose a different path.

He shares how he found faith, sobriety, and a renewed sense of purpose through his work at Our Protector Development, a consultancy focused on building strong leaders through lived experience.

If you're battling with purpose, pain, or what comes after service, this episode will hit home.

Links & Resources

Transcript

View the transcript for this episode.

]]> 00:56:51 <![CDATA[Rebuilding Purpose Through Veteran Fitness]]> Tue, 15 Jul 2025 08:00:00 +0000 Scott DeLuzio https://permalink.castos.com/podcast/2296/episode/2060038 After getting out of the Marine Corps, Rob Bracero found himself stuck, detached from purpose, struggling with chronic pain, and missing the community that used to push him forward. He's not alone. A lot of veterans find that once the structure of military life disappears, it's easy to fall into isolation and let their physical and mental health slip.

That's where Warrior Strong comes in.

In this episode, Rob shares how Warrior Strong helps veterans rebuild strength and connection through virtual and in-person fitness programs designed specifically for the veteran community. Whether it's yoga for back pain, breathwork to improve sleep, or strength training that takes service-related injuries into account, these programs offer more than just a workout. They bring back a sense of tribe.

Rob also opens up about how this work helped him personally reclaim his sense of direction. We talk about the real-world impact of veterans who went from nearly giving up to running marathons again, Vietnam vets trying yoga for the first time, and the power of being seen and supported.

If you've been putting off taking care of yourself or think group workouts aren't for you, this conversation might change your mind.

Links & Resources

Transcript

View the transcript for this episode.

]]> full 507 false After getting out of the Marine Corps, Rob Bracero found himself stuck, detached from purpose, struggling with chronic pain, and missing the community that used to push him forward. He's not alone. A lot of veterans find that once the structure of military life disappears, it's easy to fall into isolation and let their physical and mental health slip.

That's where Warrior Strong comes in.

In this episode, Rob shares how Warrior Strong helps veterans rebuild strength and connection through virtual and in-person fitness programs designed specifically for the veteran community. Whether it's yoga for back pain, breathwork to improve sleep, or strength training that takes service-related injuries into account, these programs offer more than just a workout. They bring back a sense of tribe.

Rob also opens up about how this work helped him personally reclaim his sense of direction. We talk about the real-world impact of veterans who went from nearly giving up to running marathons again, Vietnam vets trying yoga for the first time, and the power of being seen and supported.

If you've been putting off taking care of yourself or think group workouts aren't for you, this conversation might change your mind.

Links & Resources

Transcript

View the transcript for this episode.

]]> 00:47:59 <![CDATA[Alternative PTSD Treatments That Work]]> Thu, 10 Jul 2025 08:00:00 +0000 Scott DeLuzio https://permalink.castos.com/podcast/2296/episode/2055965 Blown up. Burned out. Ready to end it all.

That's where Sam Peterson found himself after his second deployment as an EOD tech. He nearly took his own life until one unexpected moment changed everything. What followed was a raw journey through trauma, healing, and finding purpose on the other side.

In this episode, Sam lays it all out. The silent epidemic of blast-induced brain trauma. The VA's broken model that tells you to "just manage it". And most importantly, the groundbreaking treatments that are helping veterans reclaim their lives in days, not years.

Ketamine therapy, transcranial magnetic stimulation, hyperbaric oxygen, and guided psychedelic experiences aren't fringe anymore. They're saving lives. Sam breaks down exactly how they work, who they're for, and why veterans need access to them now.

If you're tired of the runaround, if you feel like you've hit a wall, this episode might be the first real step toward getting your life back.

Timestamps

  • 00:02:00 - The moment Sam almost took his own life
  • 00:04:30 - Why the VA's "symptom management" model is broken
  • 00:13:00 - The truth about TMS, ketamine, and hyperbaric therapy
  • 00:28:00 - Why neuroplasticity can hurt you if done wrong
  • 00:36:15 - Safe and smart ways veterans are using psychedelics

Links & Resources

Transcript

View the transcript for this episode.

]]> full 506 false Blown up. Burned out. Ready to end it all.

That's where Sam Peterson found himself after his second deployment as an EOD tech. He nearly took his own life until one unexpected moment changed everything. What followed was a raw journey through trauma, healing, and finding purpose on the other side.

In this episode, Sam lays it all out. The silent epidemic of blast-induced brain trauma. The VA's broken model that tells you to "just manage it". And most importantly, the groundbreaking treatments that are helping veterans reclaim their lives in days, not years.

Ketamine therapy, transcranial magnetic stimulation, hyperbaric oxygen, and guided psychedelic experiences aren't fringe anymore. They're saving lives. Sam breaks down exactly how they work, who they're for, and why veterans need access to them now.

If you're tired of the runaround, if you feel like you've hit a wall, this episode might be the first real step toward getting your life back.

Timestamps

  • 00:02:00 - The moment Sam almost took his own life
  • 00:04:30 - Why the VA's "symptom management" model is broken
  • 00:13:00 - The truth about TMS, ketamine, and hyperbaric therapy
  • 00:28:00 - Why neuroplasticity can hurt you if done wrong
  • 00:36:15 - Safe and smart ways veterans are using psychedelics

Links & Resources

Transcript

View the transcript for this episode.

]]> 00:49:25 <![CDATA[How Blindness Revealed a Veteran's Strength]]> Tue, 08 Jul 2025 08:00:00 +0000 Scott DeLuzio https://permalink.castos.com/podcast/2296/episode/2055956 Kijuan Amey had a plan. He was finishing school, building a business, and still serving in the Air Force Reserves. Then a motorcycle crash changed everything. He lost his sight, suffered major injuries, and had to figure out how to move forward in a world that suddenly looked very different.

In this conversation, we talk about what that recovery really looked like. Not just the surgeries or physical rehab, but the mental side too. The frustration, the isolation, the doubt. And also, the turning point when Kijuan decided that this wasn't going to be the end of his story.

He talks about learning to live with blindness, adjusting to daily challenges, and building a new mission through mentoring, speaking, and writing. For veterans who feel stuck or disconnected, this episode is a reminder that your circumstances don't define you. How you respond to them does.

If you're navigating life after service and trying to figure out what's next, there's a lot here that will hit home.

Timestamps

  • 00:01:00 - How military service rewired Kijuan's mindset
  • 00:08:45 - The motorcycle accident that changed everything
  • 00:19:00 - Adapting to blindness and finding new strength
  • 00:25:00 - Turning tragedy into motivation for others
  • 00:33:00 - The first step when life punches you in the face

Links & Resources

Transcript

View the transcript for this episode.

]]> full 505 false Kijuan Amey had a plan. He was finishing school, building a business, and still serving in the Air Force Reserves. Then a motorcycle crash changed everything. He lost his sight, suffered major injuries, and had to figure out how to move forward in a world that suddenly looked very different.

In this conversation, we talk about what that recovery really looked like. Not just the surgeries or physical rehab, but the mental side too. The frustration, the isolation, the doubt. And also, the turning point when Kijuan decided that this wasn't going to be the end of his story.

He talks about learning to live with blindness, adjusting to daily challenges, and building a new mission through mentoring, speaking, and writing. For veterans who feel stuck or disconnected, this episode is a reminder that your circumstances don't define you. How you respond to them does.

If you're navigating life after service and trying to figure out what's next, there's a lot here that will hit home.

Timestamps

  • 00:01:00 - How military service rewired Kijuan's mindset
  • 00:08:45 - The motorcycle accident that changed everything
  • 00:19:00 - Adapting to blindness and finding new strength
  • 00:25:00 - Turning tragedy into motivation for others
  • 00:33:00 - The first step when life punches you in the face

Links & Resources

Transcript

View the transcript for this episode.

]]> 00:48:53 <![CDATA[Tools to Reclaim Your Life After Combat]]> Thu, 03 Jul 2025 08:00:00 +0000 Scott DeLuzio https://permalink.castos.com/podcast/2296/episode/2055936 Jake Rademacher didn't wear the uniform, but the war still shaped his life. His two brothers served in Iraq, and that personal connection drove him to create the documentary Brothers at War. What started as a way to understand his siblings' experiences turned into something much bigger: a tool to help other veterans process their own stories.

In this conversation, Jake shares how storytelling, film, and honest dialogue can open doors for healing. He talks about sitting in on veteran groups, watching men let go of years of silence, and seeing the impact of simply being heard. We also get into why journaling works, what post-traumatic growth really looks like, and how small acts of reflection can lead to big changes.

There's a lot here for veterans who are working through their own transitions. Whether you're dealing with trauma, searching for purpose, or just trying to feel a little more understood, this episode is a reminder that you're not alone and that sharing your story can be part of the solution.

Timestamps

  • 00:02:00 - From family to front lines and back again
  • 00:05:00 - How filming war helped Jake process trauma
  • 00:10:45 - The moment a sniper breaks down and heals
  • 00:26:00 - Real-time healing in veteran seminars
  • 00:31:45 - Why post-traumatic growth is possible for every veteran

Links & Resources

Transcript

View the transcript for this episode.

]]> full 504 false Jake Rademacher didn't wear the uniform, but the war still shaped his life. His two brothers served in Iraq, and that personal connection drove him to create the documentary Brothers at War. What started as a way to understand his siblings' experiences turned into something much bigger: a tool to help other veterans process their own stories.

In this conversation, Jake shares how storytelling, film, and honest dialogue can open doors for healing. He talks about sitting in on veteran groups, watching men let go of years of silence, and seeing the impact of simply being heard. We also get into why journaling works, what post-traumatic growth really looks like, and how small acts of reflection can lead to big changes.

There's a lot here for veterans who are working through their own transitions. Whether you're dealing with trauma, searching for purpose, or just trying to feel a little more understood, this episode is a reminder that you're not alone and that sharing your story can be part of the solution.

Timestamps

  • 00:02:00 - From family to front lines and back again
  • 00:05:00 - How filming war helped Jake process trauma
  • 00:10:45 - The moment a sniper breaks down and heals
  • 00:26:00 - Real-time healing in veteran seminars
  • 00:31:45 - Why post-traumatic growth is possible for every veteran

Links & Resources

Transcript

View the transcript for this episode.

]]> 01:08:57 <![CDATA[The Other Side of the GWOT]]> Tue, 01 Jul 2025 08:00:00 +0000 Scott DeLuzio https://permalink.castos.com/podcast/2296/episode/2047197 Not everyone who served in the Global War on Terrorism wore a uniform. Ganpat "Gunner" Wagh started as a Marine, moved into law enforcement, and then spent years as an FBI agent working everything from cybercrime to counterterrorism. Eventually, that led him to Afghanistan, where he deployed alongside Special Forces as part of a quiet but critical support mission.

In this episode, Gunner shares what it's like to carry the mission forward in less visible ways and why those roles still carry the weight of service. He also talks about reconnecting with an old teammate in the most unexpected place and how that moment pulled him into the heart of the Global War on Terrorism Memorial Foundation.

Links & Resources

Transcript

View the transcript for this episode.

]]> full 503 false Not everyone who served in the Global War on Terrorism wore a uniform. Ganpat "Gunner" Wagh started as a Marine, moved into law enforcement, and then spent years as an FBI agent working everything from cybercrime to counterterrorism. Eventually, that led him to Afghanistan, where he deployed alongside Special Forces as part of a quiet but critical support mission.

In this episode, Gunner shares what it's like to carry the mission forward in less visible ways and why those roles still carry the weight of service. He also talks about reconnecting with an old teammate in the most unexpected place and how that moment pulled him into the heart of the Global War on Terrorism Memorial Foundation.

Links & Resources

Transcript

View the transcript for this episode.

]]> 00:50:12 <![CDATA[Meditation Tools for Veterans]]> Thu, 26 Jun 2025 08:00:00 +0000 Scott DeLuzio https://permalink.castos.com/podcast/2296/episode/2047172 Pain and anxiety don't always show up on the outside, but they can dominate your inner world. That's the reality Ann Swanson lived with until she discovered practical, science-backed ways to reduce her chronic pain and anxiety. Mike Swanson, a former Army intelligence officer, faced a different battlefield. Stress, leadership pressure, and the hidden stigma around mental health in the military.

Together, they share how yoga, meditation, and small breathing practices helped them take back control. They share stories about anxiety attacks in doctor's offices, suicide attempts in a bunker in paradise, and why leading from the front requires taking care of your mind.

From box breathing to the "3-3-3" method and one-minute meditations you can do at work or before opening that stress-inducing email, this episode gives you a whole new toolkit. If you think meditation isn't for you, this one might change your mind.

Links & Resources

Transcript

View the transcript for this episode.

]]> full 502 false Pain and anxiety don't always show up on the outside, but they can dominate your inner world. That's the reality Ann Swanson lived with until she discovered practical, science-backed ways to reduce her chronic pain and anxiety. Mike Swanson, a former Army intelligence officer, faced a different battlefield. Stress, leadership pressure, and the hidden stigma around mental health in the military.

Together, they share how yoga, meditation, and small breathing practices helped them take back control. They share stories about anxiety attacks in doctor's offices, suicide attempts in a bunker in paradise, and why leading from the front requires taking care of your mind.

From box breathing to the "3-3-3" method and one-minute meditations you can do at work or before opening that stress-inducing email, this episode gives you a whole new toolkit. If you think meditation isn't for you, this one might change your mind.

Links & Resources

Transcript

View the transcript for this episode.

]]> 00:48:19 <![CDATA[Strength Is a Choice You Make]]> Tue, 24 Jun 2025 08:00:00 +0000 Scott DeLuzio https://permalink.castos.com/podcast/2296/episode/2046307 When you've been wrecked physically, mentally, or spiritually, it's easy to believe that you're done. But Marine Corps veteran Brandon Mancine's story proves that strength isn't about never getting knocked down-it's about deciding to get back up, every damn time.

After being pinned between two trucks by an intoxicated driver, Brandon was told he'd never return to the kind of elite physical conditioning he once had. Instead of accepting that fate, he made a decision that reshaped his life and mindset. In this episode, Brandon opens up about the accident that changed everything, the grit it took to come back, and the systems he built to stay strong for his kids, his clients, and himself.

From training through chronic pain and old injuries to leading with humility and strength as a father and coach, Brandon gives real advice for rebuilding after life's hardest hits. Whether you're dealing with physical limitations, emotional battles, or transition blues, his message is clear: strength is something you can rebuild. And it starts one rep, one step, one choice at a time.

Links & Resources

Transcript

View the transcript for this episode.

]]> full 501 false When you've been wrecked physically, mentally, or spiritually, it's easy to believe that you're done. But Marine Corps veteran Brandon Mancine's story proves that strength isn't about never getting knocked down-it's about deciding to get back up, every damn time.

After being pinned between two trucks by an intoxicated driver, Brandon was told he'd never return to the kind of elite physical conditioning he once had. Instead of accepting that fate, he made a decision that reshaped his life and mindset. In this episode, Brandon opens up about the accident that changed everything, the grit it took to come back, and the systems he built to stay strong for his kids, his clients, and himself.

From training through chronic pain and old injuries to leading with humility and strength as a father and coach, Brandon gives real advice for rebuilding after life's hardest hits. Whether you're dealing with physical limitations, emotional battles, or transition blues, his message is clear: strength is something you can rebuild. And it starts one rep, one step, one choice at a time.

Links & Resources

Transcript

View the transcript for this episode.

]]> 00:47:39 <![CDATA[500 Times Veterans Chose to Drive On]]> Thu, 19 Jun 2025 08:00:00 +0000 Scott DeLuzio https://permalink.castos.com/podcast/2296/episode/2046206 We made it to 500 episodes! Honestly, I didn't expect to hit this number when I first started the Drive On Podcast. I figured I'd try it out, see if it helped anyone, and maybe move on if it didn't. But here we are, and that's thanks to you, the listeners who stuck around, shared the show, and kept me going.

In episode 100, I said: "I don't think I'll do another one of these milestone episodes anytime soon either. One hundred seemed significant to me, so I wanted to do this one. Maybe I'll do another when I hit the 500th episode, if I make it that long...Who knows if I'll still be doing it by then. I hope I am, but you never know." I guess, we now know the answer to that!

In this episode, I'm pulling back the curtain a bit. I talk about how the podcast got started, why I felt called to do it, and who the show is really for. I also answer five questions that came in from listeners, covering things like growth, lessons learned, podcast gear, and how the podcast has changed me along the way.

This one's a little more personal. I talk about grief, PTSD, connection, and how talking with other veterans has helped me, and hopefully helped you too. Whether you've been with me since the early days or you just found the show, I think this episode gives you a solid look at what Drive On is all about.

Listener Questions Answered:

  • What's one thing I wish I started doing earlier that became a game changer?
  • What's my most memorable moment on the podcast?
  • What drew me to podcasting, and what gear do you really need to get started?
  • What's my "why behind the why"?
  • Has this show changed me? (Spoiler: it has.)

Thanks for being part of this milestone. If the show's helped you in any way, I'd love it if you'd share this episode with someone who might need to hear it.

Links & Resources

Transcript

View the transcript for this episode.

]]> full 500 false We made it to 500 episodes! Honestly, I didn't expect to hit this number when I first started the Drive On Podcast. I figured I'd try it out, see if it helped anyone, and maybe move on if it didn't. But here we are, and that's thanks to you, the listeners who stuck around, shared the show, and kept me going.

In episode 100, I said: "I don't think I'll do another one of these milestone episodes anytime soon either. One hundred seemed significant to me, so I wanted to do this one. Maybe I'll do another when I hit the 500th episode, if I make it that long...Who knows if I'll still be doing it by then. I hope I am, but you never know." I guess, we now know the answer to that!

In this episode, I'm pulling back the curtain a bit. I talk about how the podcast got started, why I felt called to do it, and who the show is really for. I also answer five questions that came in from listeners, covering things like growth, lessons learned, podcast gear, and how the podcast has changed me along the way.

This one's a little more personal. I talk about grief, PTSD, connection, and how talking with other veterans has helped me, and hopefully helped you too. Whether you've been with me since the early days or you just found the show, I think this episode gives you a solid look at what Drive On is all about.

Listener Questions Answered:

  • What's one thing I wish I started doing earlier that became a game changer?
  • What's my most memorable moment on the podcast?
  • What drew me to podcasting, and what gear do you really need to get started?
  • What's my "why behind the why"?
  • Has this show changed me? (Spoiler: it has.)

Thanks for being part of this milestone. If the show's helped you in any way, I'd love it if you'd share this episode with someone who might need to hear it.

Links & Resources

Transcript

View the transcript for this episode.

]]> 00:48:16 <![CDATA[Why Dark Humor Keeps Veterans Alive]]> Tue, 17 Jun 2025 08:00:00 +0000 Scott DeLuzio https://permalink.castos.com/podcast/2296/episode/2045555 Leaving the military doesn't mean your battles are over. It just changes the battlefield. In this raw, relatable episode, Navy veteran and podcast host Mr. Whiskey shares his story from the high-suicide-rate nuclear program to enduring one of the Navy's most toxic command environments aboard the USS George Washington. He opens up about the weight of grief, loss, and leadership failure. And why getting out didn't magically fix anything.

We dive deep into why finding a new mission is so critical after service and how comedy, real talk, and connection can save lives. From breaking cycles of abuse in command culture to mentoring the next generation of service members, this episode delivers gut-checks, laughs, and a ton of heart.

If you've ever felt like you were promised something on the way out that never arrived, this conversation is for you.

Links & Resources

Transcript

View the transcript for this episode.

]]> full 499 false Leaving the military doesn't mean your battles are over. It just changes the battlefield. In this raw, relatable episode, Navy veteran and podcast host Mr. Whiskey shares his story from the high-suicide-rate nuclear program to enduring one of the Navy's most toxic command environments aboard the USS George Washington. He opens up about the weight of grief, loss, and leadership failure. And why getting out didn't magically fix anything.

We dive deep into why finding a new mission is so critical after service and how comedy, real talk, and connection can save lives. From breaking cycles of abuse in command culture to mentoring the next generation of service members, this episode delivers gut-checks, laughs, and a ton of heart.

If you've ever felt like you were promised something on the way out that never arrived, this conversation is for you.

Links & Resources

Transcript

View the transcript for this episode.

]]> 00:53:20 <![CDATA[Finding Brotherhood After Combat]]> Thu, 12 Jun 2025 08:00:00 +0000 Scott DeLuzio https://permalink.castos.com/podcast/2296/episode/2020482 Coming home doesn't always mean you're back. For Marine Corps reservist Ron Jansen, the toughest battles came long after Iraq, when the mission was over and the noise faded. Like so many veterans, he tried to pick up where he left off. A full-time job. Family life. No time to think about what really happened downrange. But trauma doesn't stay quiet forever. It showed up in his relationships, his stress, and the nagging sense that something inside still hadn't healed. In this episode, we dive deep into the hidden cost of suppressing your experience and the surprising freedom that comes from facing it head-on. Ron opens up about the therapeutic power of writing, the raw difficulty of vulnerability, and the camaraderie rediscovered through outdoor retreats and faith-based community. If you've ever felt disconnected, like you're "just getting by," this conversation will hit home. This isn't about wallowing in the past. It's about integrating it so you can actually move forward. Here's where the real breakthroughs happen:

Timestamps

00:01:00 - Avoiding emotions after deployment and why it backfires00:04:00 - Writing a combat memoir as a path to healing00:11:30 - Finding therapy in wilderness retreats and group connection00:17:00 - Shedding the armor of invincibility after service00:26:45 - Why storytelling and brotherhood can change everything

Links & Resources

Transcript

View the transcript for this episode.

]]> full 498 false Coming home doesn't always mean you're back. For Marine Corps reservist Ron Jansen, the toughest battles came long after Iraq, when the mission was over and the noise faded. Like so many veterans, he tried to pick up where he left off. A full-time job. Family life. No time to think about what really happened downrange. But trauma doesn't stay quiet forever. It showed up in his relationships, his stress, and the nagging sense that something inside still hadn't healed. In this episode, we dive deep into the hidden cost of suppressing your experience and the surprising freedom that comes from facing it head-on. Ron opens up about the therapeutic power of writing, the raw difficulty of vulnerability, and the camaraderie rediscovered through outdoor retreats and faith-based community. If you've ever felt disconnected, like you're "just getting by," this conversation will hit home. This isn't about wallowing in the past. It's about integrating it so you can actually move forward. Here's where the real breakthroughs happen:

Timestamps

00:01:00 - Avoiding emotions after deployment and why it backfires00:04:00 - Writing a combat memoir as a path to healing00:11:30 - Finding therapy in wilderness retreats and group connection00:17:00 - Shedding the armor of invincibility after service00:26:45 - Why storytelling and brotherhood can change everything

Links & Resources

Transcript

View the transcript for this episode.

]]> 00:52:05 <![CDATA[Honoring the GWOT Generation]]> Tue, 10 Jun 2025 08:00:00 +0000 Scott DeLuzio https://permalink.castos.com/podcast/2296/episode/2013256 It's one thing to survive war, it's another to make sure it's remembered.

In this powerful conversation, Special Forces veteran Michael "Rod" Rodríguez opens up about his journey through combat, traumatic injury, and personal loss, and how those experiences led him to a new mission: building the Global War on Terrorism Memorial in Washington, D.C.

Rod isn't just talking about his story. He's fighting for all our stories - service members, Gold Star families, civilian contractors, and anyone touched by the Global War on Terrorism. As the president and CEO of the Global War on Terrorism Memorial Foundation, Rod walks us through what it takes to build a national memorial: the red tape, the victories, and the deep emotional stakes of making sure our generation isn't forgotten.

From delivering hope in Somalia to eating charges on breaching missions, Rod's story is one of grit, growth, and leadership. But more than anything, it's about building something that lasts, not just for us, but for the next generation who needs to know what we lived through.

Timestamps

00:06:42 – Early deployments and the reality of combat in Somalia 00:17:31 – TBI, PTSD, and the personal cost of continuing to serve 00:28:50 – Reaching rock bottom and finding healing through purpose 00:41:12 – Why the Global War on Terrorism Memorial matters now 01:01:46 – Honoring the invisible wounds and collective sacrifice of the GWOT generation

Links & Resources

Transcript

View the transcript for this episode.

]]> full 497 false It's one thing to survive war, it's another to make sure it's remembered.

In this powerful conversation, Special Forces veteran Michael "Rod" Rodríguez opens up about his journey through combat, traumatic injury, and personal loss, and how those experiences led him to a new mission: building the Global War on Terrorism Memorial in Washington, D.C.

Rod isn't just talking about his story. He's fighting for all our stories - service members, Gold Star families, civilian contractors, and anyone touched by the Global War on Terrorism. As the president and CEO of the Global War on Terrorism Memorial Foundation, Rod walks us through what it takes to build a national memorial: the red tape, the victories, and the deep emotional stakes of making sure our generation isn't forgotten.

From delivering hope in Somalia to eating charges on breaching missions, Rod's story is one of grit, growth, and leadership. But more than anything, it's about building something that lasts, not just for us, but for the next generation who needs to know what we lived through.

Timestamps

00:06:42 – Early deployments and the reality of combat in Somalia 00:17:31 – TBI, PTSD, and the personal cost of continuing to serve 00:28:50 – Reaching rock bottom and finding healing through purpose 00:41:12 – Why the Global War on Terrorism Memorial matters now 01:01:46 – Honoring the invisible wounds and collective sacrifice of the GWOT generation

Links & Resources

Transcript

View the transcript for this episode.

]]> 01:13:24 <![CDATA[Turning the Page on PTSD]]> Thu, 05 Jun 2025 08:00:00 +0000 Scott DeLuzio https://permalink.castos.com/podcast/2296/episode/2007548 After deployment, some warriors come home. Others just arrive.

Dustin Carter opens up about how writing became more than a hobby-it became his lifeline. From his rough start before service to finding purpose in the Guard, then facing the spiral of isolation, anger, and a VA system that wanted to medicate instead of listen, Dustin didn't just survive-he wrote his way through.

His novel, The Veteran, follows a fictional soldier on a hauntingly real path-homelessness, addiction, trauma-and the slow, uphill climb back through therapy, routine, and the camaraderie of fellow vets.

This conversation is raw, unfiltered, and full of the kind of insight only a vet could offer. Whether you're in the thick of your own battle or trying to support someone who is, this episode offers hope, perspective, and a few hard truths that might just spark change.

Timestamps

04:00 - Dustin Carter on how structure in the military gave him purpose 08:15 - Why writing became his escape from pills and pain 11:00 - Behind The Veteran: A raw story of spiraling and recovery 20:45 - Rebuilding with movement, connection, and purpose 32:00 - A haircut, a suit, and the spark that changed everything

Links & Resources

Transcript

View the transcript for this episode.

]]> full 496 false After deployment, some warriors come home. Others just arrive.

Dustin Carter opens up about how writing became more than a hobby-it became his lifeline. From his rough start before service to finding purpose in the Guard, then facing the spiral of isolation, anger, and a VA system that wanted to medicate instead of listen, Dustin didn't just survive-he wrote his way through.

His novel, The Veteran, follows a fictional soldier on a hauntingly real path-homelessness, addiction, trauma-and the slow, uphill climb back through therapy, routine, and the camaraderie of fellow vets.

This conversation is raw, unfiltered, and full of the kind of insight only a vet could offer. Whether you're in the thick of your own battle or trying to support someone who is, this episode offers hope, perspective, and a few hard truths that might just spark change.

Timestamps

04:00 - Dustin Carter on how structure in the military gave him purpose 08:15 - Why writing became his escape from pills and pain 11:00 - Behind The Veteran: A raw story of spiraling and recovery 20:45 - Rebuilding with movement, connection, and purpose 32:00 - A haircut, a suit, and the spark that changed everything

Links & Resources

Transcript

View the transcript for this episode.

]]> 00:50:29 <![CDATA[Nutrition and Mental Health for Veterans]]> Tue, 03 Jun 2025 08:00:00 +0000 Scott DeLuzio https://permalink.castos.com/podcast/2296/episode/2007503 You trained hard, ate right, and stayed in top physical condition in the military. But after getting out? It's easy for those habits to fall apart. Food becomes a comfort, a coping mechanism, or just an afterthought in the chaos of civilian life. And before you know it, the disciplined approach you once had is gone. In this episode, Jessica Setnick, a nutritionist specializing in eating behaviors, breaks down why so many veterans struggle with food after service. We dive into the connection between food and mental health, how stress alters your eating habits, and why so many of us reach for food as a way to deal with emotions. This conversation isn't about dieting or counting calories-it's about understanding your relationship with food so you can take back control. If you've ever found yourself stress-eating, skipping meals, or feeling out of sync with your body, this episode is for you.

Timestamps:

  • 01:00 - Why veterans struggle with food after service
  • 09:30 - The link between stress, emotions, and eating habits
  • 25:00 - How military training shapes your eating behaviors
  • 39:00 - Practical strategies to improve your relationship with food
  • 48:45 - Recognizing when food is covering up deeper struggles

Links & Resources

Transcript

View the transcript for this episode.

]]> full 495 false You trained hard, ate right, and stayed in top physical condition in the military. But after getting out? It's easy for those habits to fall apart. Food becomes a comfort, a coping mechanism, or just an afterthought in the chaos of civilian life. And before you know it, the disciplined approach you once had is gone. In this episode, Jessica Setnick, a nutritionist specializing in eating behaviors, breaks down why so many veterans struggle with food after service. We dive into the connection between food and mental health, how stress alters your eating habits, and why so many of us reach for food as a way to deal with emotions. This conversation isn't about dieting or counting calories-it's about understanding your relationship with food so you can take back control. If you've ever found yourself stress-eating, skipping meals, or feeling out of sync with your body, this episode is for you.

Timestamps:

  • 01:00 - Why veterans struggle with food after service
  • 09:30 - The link between stress, emotions, and eating habits
  • 25:00 - How military training shapes your eating behaviors
  • 39:00 - Practical strategies to improve your relationship with food
  • 48:45 - Recognizing when food is covering up deeper struggles

Links & Resources

Transcript

View the transcript for this episode.

]]> 00:59:28 <![CDATA[Archery for PTSD Relief]]> Thu, 29 May 2025 08:00:00 +0000 Scott DeLuzio https://permalink.castos.com/podcast/2296/episode/2005821 When Sam Westfall left the military, he felt the weight of transition, PTSD, and loss of purpose. He tried to cope the way many veterans do-through alcohol and firearms, which aren't the best combination-but nothing seemed to work. That all changed the day a friend handed him a bow.

In this episode, Sam shares how archery became his path to mental clarity and emotional stability. Through Archery N Motion and the Valor Archery Challenge, he's introducing fellow veterans to the same sense of peace and focus that transformed his life. Whether you're looking for an alternative therapy for PTSD, a way to rebuild camaraderie, or just a new challenge, this conversation will open your eyes to the unexpected healing power of archery.

Plus, Sam breaks down why archery is a mental game, a form of mindfulness, and a bridge to connection with other veterans. He also dives into how the Valor Archery Challenge is creating a space where veterans can shoot, connect, and discover new opportunities.

If you've ever felt overwhelmed, disconnected, or just in need of an outlet that actually works, you'll want to hear this one.

Links & Resources

Transcript

View the transcript for this episode.

]]> full 494 false When Sam Westfall left the military, he felt the weight of transition, PTSD, and loss of purpose. He tried to cope the way many veterans do-through alcohol and firearms, which aren't the best combination-but nothing seemed to work. That all changed the day a friend handed him a bow.

In this episode, Sam shares how archery became his path to mental clarity and emotional stability. Through Archery N Motion and the Valor Archery Challenge, he's introducing fellow veterans to the same sense of peace and focus that transformed his life. Whether you're looking for an alternative therapy for PTSD, a way to rebuild camaraderie, or just a new challenge, this conversation will open your eyes to the unexpected healing power of archery.

Plus, Sam breaks down why archery is a mental game, a form of mindfulness, and a bridge to connection with other veterans. He also dives into how the Valor Archery Challenge is creating a space where veterans can shoot, connect, and discover new opportunities.

If you've ever felt overwhelmed, disconnected, or just in need of an outlet that actually works, you'll want to hear this one.

Links & Resources

Transcript

View the transcript for this episode.

]]> 00:50:22 <![CDATA[What Vietnam Taught Us About the GWOT]]> Tue, 27 May 2025 08:00:00 +0000 Scott DeLuzio https://permalink.castos.com/podcast/2296/episode/2004055 War leaves a lasting impact-not just on those who fight, but on the generations that follow. Lieutenant Colonel Patrick Naughton grew up in the shadow of his father's Vietnam service, ultimately choosing to follow in his footsteps. With a career spanning the infantry, medical corps, and leadership roles in Washington, D.C., he brings a unique perspective on how war shapes identity, leadership, and transition. In this episode, we discuss the lessons military leaders should have learned from Vietnam and how those mistakes were repeated in Iraq and Afghanistan. Patrick shares insights from his book, Born From War, which parallels his father's time in Vietnam with his own service in Iraq, and how history continues to shape the military experience. We also dive into the challenges of reintegration, the importance of finding a new mission after service, and why military leadership isn't always about filling sandbags next to your troops. Whether you're navigating transition, struggling to find purpose, or just looking for real conversations about military life, this episode delivers hard-earned wisdom from the front lines and beyond.

Timestamps

00:02:45 - From Infantry to Medical Officer: A Unique Military Journey00:07:15 - Vietnam and Iraq: The Same Mistakes Repeated00:16:00 - The Truth About Military Leadership and Mission Creep00:29:30 - Why Metrics and Numbers Don't Tell the Whole Story00:37:00 - Finding Purpose and Passion After Service

Links & Resources

Transcript

View the transcript for this episode.

]]> full 493 false War leaves a lasting impact-not just on those who fight, but on the generations that follow. Lieutenant Colonel Patrick Naughton grew up in the shadow of his father's Vietnam service, ultimately choosing to follow in his footsteps. With a career spanning the infantry, medical corps, and leadership roles in Washington, D.C., he brings a unique perspective on how war shapes identity, leadership, and transition. In this episode, we discuss the lessons military leaders should have learned from Vietnam and how those mistakes were repeated in Iraq and Afghanistan. Patrick shares insights from his book, Born From War, which parallels his father's time in Vietnam with his own service in Iraq, and how history continues to shape the military experience. We also dive into the challenges of reintegration, the importance of finding a new mission after service, and why military leadership isn't always about filling sandbags next to your troops. Whether you're navigating transition, struggling to find purpose, or just looking for real conversations about military life, this episode delivers hard-earned wisdom from the front lines and beyond.

Timestamps

00:02:45 - From Infantry to Medical Officer: A Unique Military Journey00:07:15 - Vietnam and Iraq: The Same Mistakes Repeated00:16:00 - The Truth About Military Leadership and Mission Creep00:29:30 - Why Metrics and Numbers Don't Tell the Whole Story00:37:00 - Finding Purpose and Passion After Service

Links & Resources

Transcript

View the transcript for this episode.

]]> 00:54:51 <![CDATA[Veterans Transitioning to Cybersecurity Careers]]> Thu, 22 May 2025 08:00:00 +0000 Scott DeLuzio https://permalink.castos.com/podcast/2296/episode/2004051 Leaving the military comes with challenges-redefining your purpose, finding a meaningful career, and stepping into an unfamiliar civilian world where your experience isn't always understood. But what if your military skills could be the key to success in one of the fastest-growing and most mission-driven industries today? The cybersecurity field is facing a massive talent shortage, and veterans have exactly what it takes to fill the gap. Tactical decision-making, problem-solving under pressure, and a mission-first mindset-these are the same skills that make an effective cyber professional. In this episode, we sit down with Ricoh Danielson, an Army veteran and cybersecurity expert, to break down how veterans can transition into cyber careers, whether they have a technical background or not. We dive into the real-world pathways available, including training programs, certifications, and networking strategies that get veterans in the door. Ricoh shares his own journey from the battlefield to cybersecurity, how he built a successful career in the industry, and why veterans are uniquely suited to excel in this space. If you're looking for a career that offers both purpose and opportunity, cybersecurity might just be your next mission. Listen in as we map out the steps to make it happen.

Timestamps 03:15 - Recognizing transferable military skills suitable for cybersecurity​ 12:40 - Training programs and certifications tailored for veterans​ 25:10 - Navigating the cybersecurity job market as a veteran​ 37:55 - Success stories: Veterans thriving in cybersecurity roles​ 48:20 - Resources and support systems for veterans entering tech fields

Links & Resources

Transcript

View the transcript for this episode.

]]> full 492 false Leaving the military comes with challenges-redefining your purpose, finding a meaningful career, and stepping into an unfamiliar civilian world where your experience isn't always understood. But what if your military skills could be the key to success in one of the fastest-growing and most mission-driven industries today? The cybersecurity field is facing a massive talent shortage, and veterans have exactly what it takes to fill the gap. Tactical decision-making, problem-solving under pressure, and a mission-first mindset-these are the same skills that make an effective cyber professional. In this episode, we sit down with Ricoh Danielson, an Army veteran and cybersecurity expert, to break down how veterans can transition into cyber careers, whether they have a technical background or not. We dive into the real-world pathways available, including training programs, certifications, and networking strategies that get veterans in the door. Ricoh shares his own journey from the battlefield to cybersecurity, how he built a successful career in the industry, and why veterans are uniquely suited to excel in this space. If you're looking for a career that offers both purpose and opportunity, cybersecurity might just be your next mission. Listen in as we map out the steps to make it happen.

Timestamps 03:15 - Recognizing transferable military skills suitable for cybersecurity​ 12:40 - Training programs and certifications tailored for veterans​ 25:10 - Navigating the cybersecurity job market as a veteran​ 37:55 - Success stories: Veterans thriving in cybersecurity roles​ 48:20 - Resources and support systems for veterans entering tech fields

Links & Resources

Transcript

View the transcript for this episode.

]]> 00:57:05 <![CDATA[The Brandon Act and the Fight to End Military Suicide]]> Tue, 20 May 2025 08:00:00 +0000 Scott DeLuzio https://permalink.castos.com/podcast/2296/episode/2004043 Some wounds don't come from the battlefield-they come from within the ranks. Brandon Caserta was strong. Disciplined. Determined. He had a dream to serve in the military, to push himself to the limits, to be part of something greater than himself. But when he faced toxic leadership, retaliation, and neglect from those meant to lead, the weight became unbearable. His parents, Terri and Patrick Caserta, were left with the unimaginable loss of their son. But instead of letting their grief consume them, they fought back-championing the Brandon Act, a law ensuring service members can confidentially seek mental health help without fear of retaliation. In this episode, we discuss:

  • Brandon's story-the warning signs, the failures, and the tragic end
  • The deep-seated issues of toxic leadership in the military
  • How the Brandon Act is changing the way service members access mental health care
  • What veterans and active-duty personnel can do to protect themselves and support their brothers and sisters in arms

Brandon should still be here. His story should have had a different ending. But because of his parents' fight, lives are being saved today. Listen in and share this episode-because no service member should feel alone in their struggle.

Timestamps

00:02:15 - Who Brandon Caserta was and the values he lived by 00:10:15 - The toxic leadership and broken culture within the Navy 00:29:00 - The events leading up to Brandon's death on the flight line 01:04:20 - How Terri and Patrick uncovered the truth and began their fight 01:32:10 - What the Brandon Act means for today's service members

Links & Resources

Transcript

View the transcript for this episode.

]]> full 491 false Some wounds don't come from the battlefield-they come from within the ranks. Brandon Caserta was strong. Disciplined. Determined. He had a dream to serve in the military, to push himself to the limits, to be part of something greater than himself. But when he faced toxic leadership, retaliation, and neglect from those meant to lead, the weight became unbearable. His parents, Terri and Patrick Caserta, were left with the unimaginable loss of their son. But instead of letting their grief consume them, they fought back-championing the Brandon Act, a law ensuring service members can confidentially seek mental health help without fear of retaliation. In this episode, we discuss:

  • Brandon's story-the warning signs, the failures, and the tragic end
  • The deep-seated issues of toxic leadership in the military
  • How the Brandon Act is changing the way service members access mental health care
  • What veterans and active-duty personnel can do to protect themselves and support their brothers and sisters in arms

Brandon should still be here. His story should have had a different ending. But because of his parents' fight, lives are being saved today. Listen in and share this episode-because no service member should feel alone in their struggle.

Timestamps

00:02:15 - Who Brandon Caserta was and the values he lived by 00:10:15 - The toxic leadership and broken culture within the Navy 00:29:00 - The events leading up to Brandon's death on the flight line 01:04:20 - How Terri and Patrick uncovered the truth and began their fight 01:32:10 - What the Brandon Act means for today's service members

Links & Resources

Transcript

View the transcript for this episode.

]]> 01:43:59 <![CDATA[The Key to a Successful Military Transition]]> Thu, 15 May 2025 08:00:00 +0000 Scott DeLuzio https://permalink.castos.com/podcast/2296/episode/2004035 Losing the uniform doesn't mean losing your mission. But for a lot of veterans, the transition out of service feels like being dropped into an unknown world without a map. That's exactly what Rob Sarver and Alex Gendzier set out to fix. After years of interviews with veterans, deep research into military transition, and personal experience, they wrote Warrior to Civilian: The Field Manual for the Hero's Journey-a guide designed to help veterans navigate the mental, emotional, and professional challenges of post-service life.

In this episode, they break down the biggest obstacles veterans face-loss of identity, lack of purpose, job struggles, and mental health hurdles-and provide real-world strategies to overcome them. From the wisdom of ancient warrior cultures to the latest research on PTSD, career fulfillment, and personal growth, this conversation is packed with insights every veteran needs to hear.

If you're a veteran looking for a blueprint to a successful transition-or you know someone who needs one-this episode is a must-listen.

Timestamps: 00:01:00 - Why transition is so hard for veterans 00:07:15 - The biggest mistakes veterans make after leaving service 00:12:45 - Finding purpose in civilian life 00:18:30 - Mental health strategies that actually work 00:25:00 - How to prepare for transition the right way

Links & Resources

Transcript

View the transcript for this episode.

]]> full 490 false Losing the uniform doesn't mean losing your mission. But for a lot of veterans, the transition out of service feels like being dropped into an unknown world without a map. That's exactly what Rob Sarver and Alex Gendzier set out to fix. After years of interviews with veterans, deep research into military transition, and personal experience, they wrote Warrior to Civilian: The Field Manual for the Hero's Journey-a guide designed to help veterans navigate the mental, emotional, and professional challenges of post-service life.

In this episode, they break down the biggest obstacles veterans face-loss of identity, lack of purpose, job struggles, and mental health hurdles-and provide real-world strategies to overcome them. From the wisdom of ancient warrior cultures to the latest research on PTSD, career fulfillment, and personal growth, this conversation is packed with insights every veteran needs to hear.

If you're a veteran looking for a blueprint to a successful transition-or you know someone who needs one-this episode is a must-listen.

Timestamps: 00:01:00 - Why transition is so hard for veterans 00:07:15 - The biggest mistakes veterans make after leaving service 00:12:45 - Finding purpose in civilian life 00:18:30 - Mental health strategies that actually work 00:25:00 - How to prepare for transition the right way

Links & Resources

Transcript

View the transcript for this episode.

]]> 00:46:47 <![CDATA[Why Officers Eat Last]]> Tue, 13 May 2025 08:00:00 +0000 Scott DeLuzio https://permalink.castos.com/podcast/2296/episode/1995524 What happens when you transition out of the military and the leadership in civilian life doesn't measure up? Jason West, a Marine veteran and leadership consultant, breaks down why leadership matters more than ever when building a business, leading a team, or just trying to create purpose in your post-service life. From his experiences in the Marine Corps to running his consulting firm, Officers Eat Last, Jason shares the foundational leadership principles that keep teams strong and mission-focused-whether on the battlefield or in the boardroom. He also explains why purpose-driven leadership isn't just a buzzword but a critical mindset shift for veterans looking to succeed after the military.

Jason discusses how leadership evolves from being about physical capability to strategic thinking, why great leaders serve their people first, and how veterans can apply military leadership principles to business and life. If you've ever felt frustrated by weak leadership in the civilian world or struggled to find a meaningful role post-service, this episode is packed with insights to help you take charge and lead with impact.

Timestamps: 04:30 - Jason's journey from football to the Marine Corps 12:15 - The evolution of leadership from enlisted to officer 27:00 - Why "Officers Eat Last" is more than just a saying 39:45 - Finding purpose after military service 50:15 - Tactical leadership strategies for business and life

Links & Resources

Transcript

View the transcript for this episode.

]]> full 489 false What happens when you transition out of the military and the leadership in civilian life doesn't measure up? Jason West, a Marine veteran and leadership consultant, breaks down why leadership matters more than ever when building a business, leading a team, or just trying to create purpose in your post-service life. From his experiences in the Marine Corps to running his consulting firm, Officers Eat Last, Jason shares the foundational leadership principles that keep teams strong and mission-focused-whether on the battlefield or in the boardroom. He also explains why purpose-driven leadership isn't just a buzzword but a critical mindset shift for veterans looking to succeed after the military.

Jason discusses how leadership evolves from being about physical capability to strategic thinking, why great leaders serve their people first, and how veterans can apply military leadership principles to business and life. If you've ever felt frustrated by weak leadership in the civilian world or struggled to find a meaningful role post-service, this episode is packed with insights to help you take charge and lead with impact.

Timestamps: 04:30 - Jason's journey from football to the Marine Corps 12:15 - The evolution of leadership from enlisted to officer 27:00 - Why "Officers Eat Last" is more than just a saying 39:45 - Finding purpose after military service 50:15 - Tactical leadership strategies for business and life

Links & Resources

Transcript

View the transcript for this episode.

]]> 01:03:27 <![CDATA[Overcoming Moral Injury]]> Thu, 08 May 2025 08:00:00 +0000 Scott DeLuzio https://permalink.castos.com/podcast/2296/episode/1993341 The war doesn't always end when you come home. For many veterans, the toughest battles are fought in silence-moral injury, survivor's guilt, and the search for meaning after service. Retired Army Sergeant Eric Donoho lived it. After surviving multiple IED blasts, he returned home to a life that felt shattered, eventually finding himself at the brink of suicide. But that wasn't the end of his story.

Through mountain climbs, advocacy, and discovering the power of faith-wherever that may be found-Eric transformed his pain into purpose. He now fights for veteran-focused legislation, educates others on moral injury, and helps fellow warriors find their own path forward. In this episode, he shares his journey, the struggles so many veterans face, and actionable insights on how to rebuild after the darkest days. Whether you're battling your own demons or want to understand the hidden wounds of war, this conversation is one you don't want to miss.

Timestamps: 01:15 - The moment that nearly ended it all and the path to recovery 04:00 - Moral injury vs. PTSD: Understanding the difference and why it matters 12:45 - Fighting for veterans on Capitol Hill and advocating for change 28:30 - The role of faith and community in healing 45:15 - Turning struggle into purpose and helping fellow veterans

Links & Resources

Transcript

View the transcript for this episode.

]]> full 488 false The war doesn't always end when you come home. For many veterans, the toughest battles are fought in silence-moral injury, survivor's guilt, and the search for meaning after service. Retired Army Sergeant Eric Donoho lived it. After surviving multiple IED blasts, he returned home to a life that felt shattered, eventually finding himself at the brink of suicide. But that wasn't the end of his story.

Through mountain climbs, advocacy, and discovering the power of faith-wherever that may be found-Eric transformed his pain into purpose. He now fights for veteran-focused legislation, educates others on moral injury, and helps fellow warriors find their own path forward. In this episode, he shares his journey, the struggles so many veterans face, and actionable insights on how to rebuild after the darkest days. Whether you're battling your own demons or want to understand the hidden wounds of war, this conversation is one you don't want to miss.

Timestamps: 01:15 - The moment that nearly ended it all and the path to recovery 04:00 - Moral injury vs. PTSD: Understanding the difference and why it matters 12:45 - Fighting for veterans on Capitol Hill and advocating for change 28:30 - The role of faith and community in healing 45:15 - Turning struggle into purpose and helping fellow veterans

Links & Resources

Transcript

View the transcript for this episode.

]]> 01:13:23 <![CDATA[Veterans Turning Pain into Purpose]]> Tue, 06 May 2025 08:00:00 +0000 Scott DeLuzio https://permalink.castos.com/podcast/2296/episode/1993331 We all have demons. Some we fought on the battlefield, others we fight in our own minds. For Army veteran Juan Espinoza, the weight of his experiences nearly crushed him-until he found a way to process the pain. After years of bottling up emotions and trying to "just push through," Juan hit a breaking point. One cold December night, he stepped into the rain, dropped to his knees, and screamed for purpose. What followed was an outpouring of emotion that turned into a book-written in just two days-that changed his life forever.

In this episode, Juan shares how writing became his therapy, how shifting your perspective can change your life, and why true strength comes from vulnerability, not suppression. Whether you're a veteran dealing with the unseen scars of service, struggling with relationships, or searching for purpose after the uniform comes off, this conversation will hit home.

And if you think you're not the "writing type," Juan's story might just change your mind.

Timestamps: 02:45 - Juan's Army career and combat deployments 10:45 - Writing as a form of healing and self-reflection 22:30 - The power of perspective in overcoming pain 35:45 - Strength in vulnerability and breaking toxic cycles 50:15 - How veterans can start their healing journey

Links & Resources

Transcript

View the transcript for this episode.

]]> full 487 false We all have demons. Some we fought on the battlefield, others we fight in our own minds. For Army veteran Juan Espinoza, the weight of his experiences nearly crushed him-until he found a way to process the pain. After years of bottling up emotions and trying to "just push through," Juan hit a breaking point. One cold December night, he stepped into the rain, dropped to his knees, and screamed for purpose. What followed was an outpouring of emotion that turned into a book-written in just two days-that changed his life forever.

In this episode, Juan shares how writing became his therapy, how shifting your perspective can change your life, and why true strength comes from vulnerability, not suppression. Whether you're a veteran dealing with the unseen scars of service, struggling with relationships, or searching for purpose after the uniform comes off, this conversation will hit home.

And if you think you're not the "writing type," Juan's story might just change your mind.

Timestamps: 02:45 - Juan's Army career and combat deployments 10:45 - Writing as a form of healing and self-reflection 22:30 - The power of perspective in overcoming pain 35:45 - Strength in vulnerability and breaking toxic cycles 50:15 - How veterans can start their healing journey

Links & Resources

Transcript

View the transcript for this episode.

]]> 00:59:00 <![CDATA[Why Veterans Struggle With Civilian Careers]]> Thu, 01 May 2025 08:00:00 +0000 Scott DeLuzio https://permalink.castos.com/podcast/2296/episode/1993300 Leaving the military is hard. Finding the right job? Even harder. Veterans often find themselves stuck in jobs that don't match their skills, struggling to translate their military experience into something that makes sense to civilian employers.

Jon Safran, a 23-year Air Force veteran and Chief Military Engagement Advisor at MilitaryConnected.org, knows this challenge firsthand. His mission? To bridge the gap between veterans and military-ready companies that understand and value their skills.

In this episode, we explain why many veterans feel lost in their first civilian job, the biggest transition mistakes to avoid, and how to connect with companies ready to hire and support veterans. If you're about to leave the military-or if you've already transitioned and are frustrated with the job search-this episode is for you.

Links & Resources

Transcript

View the transcript for this episode.

]]> full 486 false Leaving the military is hard. Finding the right job? Even harder. Veterans often find themselves stuck in jobs that don't match their skills, struggling to translate their military experience into something that makes sense to civilian employers.

Jon Safran, a 23-year Air Force veteran and Chief Military Engagement Advisor at MilitaryConnected.org, knows this challenge firsthand. His mission? To bridge the gap between veterans and military-ready companies that understand and value their skills.

In this episode, we explain why many veterans feel lost in their first civilian job, the biggest transition mistakes to avoid, and how to connect with companies ready to hire and support veterans. If you're about to leave the military-or if you've already transitioned and are frustrated with the job search-this episode is for you.

Links & Resources

Transcript

View the transcript for this episode.

]]> 00:39:21 <![CDATA[Healing PTSD Through Communication]]> Tue, 29 Apr 2025 08:00:00 +0000 Scott DeLuzio https://permalink.castos.com/podcast/2296/episode/1989264 Too many veterans are handed a diagnosis and a prescription-but never a real solution. Dr. Fred Moss has spent decades working in psychiatry, only to realize that true healing doesn't come from medication-it comes from connection.

In this episode, Dr. Moss shares how veterans can reclaim their mental health by finding their true voice and engaging in meaningful communication. We explore why psychiatric labels can do more harm than good, how technology has changed the way we connect, and the power of listening as a healing tool.

For veterans struggling with PTSD, anxiety, or feeling lost after service, this episode is a wake-up call. Healing requires more than just suppressing emotions; it involves understanding them, embracing them, and using them to build deeper human connections.

Timestamps:

  • 04:15 - Why communication-not medication-is the key to healing
  • 16:45 - The power of human connection in overcoming PTSD
  • 30:10 - Why society's definition of "normal" is flawed
  • 45:20 - Breaking free from psychiatric labels and reclaiming identity
  • 57:45 - Practical strategies to heal through self-expression

Links & Resources

Transcript

View the transcript for this episode.

]]> full 485 false Too many veterans are handed a diagnosis and a prescription-but never a real solution. Dr. Fred Moss has spent decades working in psychiatry, only to realize that true healing doesn't come from medication-it comes from connection.

In this episode, Dr. Moss shares how veterans can reclaim their mental health by finding their true voice and engaging in meaningful communication. We explore why psychiatric labels can do more harm than good, how technology has changed the way we connect, and the power of listening as a healing tool.

For veterans struggling with PTSD, anxiety, or feeling lost after service, this episode is a wake-up call. Healing requires more than just suppressing emotions; it involves understanding them, embracing them, and using them to build deeper human connections.

Timestamps:

  • 04:15 - Why communication-not medication-is the key to healing
  • 16:45 - The power of human connection in overcoming PTSD
  • 30:10 - Why society's definition of "normal" is flawed
  • 45:20 - Breaking free from psychiatric labels and reclaiming identity
  • 57:45 - Practical strategies to heal through self-expression

Links & Resources

Transcript

View the transcript for this episode.

]]> 01:10:08 <![CDATA[A Daughter Carrying a Fallen Hero's Legacy]]> Thu, 24 Apr 2025 08:00:00 +0000 Scott DeLuzio https://permalink.castos.com/podcast/2296/episode/1988971 Some sacrifices are too big to be forgotten. When Major Brent Taylor was killed in action in 2018, his daughter Megan Taylor was only 13 years old. Now, at 19, she's carrying on his legacy in powerful ways-through advocacy, remembrance, and leadership in the veteran community.

In this episode, Megan opens up about growing up in a family shaped by both military and civic service. Her father wasn't just a soldier; he was a mayor, a mentor, and a man who led by example. She shares personal memories, the impact of his loss on her family, and how she has found strength in the military community.

Megan also talks about her role in the Global War on Terrorism Memorial Foundation and why she's working to ensure that every service member's sacrifice is honored while they're still here to see it. This episode is about more than grief-it's about purpose, resilience, and ensuring that no one who served is ever forgotten.

Timestamps: 00:01:15 - The life and service of Major Brent Taylor 00:05:45 - Growing up with a father in the military and public service 00:12:00 - Becoming a Gold Star child and navigating loss 00:21:30 - Lessons in resilience and selflessness 00:29:15 - The Global War on Terrorism Memorial and why it matters

Links & Resources

Transcript

View the transcript for this episode.

]]> full 484 false Some sacrifices are too big to be forgotten. When Major Brent Taylor was killed in action in 2018, his daughter Megan Taylor was only 13 years old. Now, at 19, she's carrying on his legacy in powerful ways-through advocacy, remembrance, and leadership in the veteran community.

In this episode, Megan opens up about growing up in a family shaped by both military and civic service. Her father wasn't just a soldier; he was a mayor, a mentor, and a man who led by example. She shares personal memories, the impact of his loss on her family, and how she has found strength in the military community.

Megan also talks about her role in the Global War on Terrorism Memorial Foundation and why she's working to ensure that every service member's sacrifice is honored while they're still here to see it. This episode is about more than grief-it's about purpose, resilience, and ensuring that no one who served is ever forgotten.

Timestamps: 00:01:15 - The life and service of Major Brent Taylor 00:05:45 - Growing up with a father in the military and public service 00:12:00 - Becoming a Gold Star child and navigating loss 00:21:30 - Lessons in resilience and selflessness 00:29:15 - The Global War on Terrorism Memorial and why it matters

Links & Resources

Transcript

View the transcript for this episode.

]]> 00:43:08 <![CDATA[Faith and Resilience After Military Service]]> Tue, 22 Apr 2025 08:00:00 +0000 Scott DeLuzio https://permalink.castos.com/podcast/2296/episode/1988931 Losing camaraderie after leaving the military can be one of the hardest parts of the transition. No one seems to understand, and it's easy to feel isolated-even in a room full of people. But what if there was a way to rebuild that sense of purpose and connection?

Enter Charles Watkins, an Army veteran who knows firsthand what it's like to struggle after service. As a former chaplain assistant, he spent his time in the military helping soldiers through their toughest moments. But after leaving the Army, he found himself battling his own transition struggles, feeling lost, and searching for meaning.

That search led him to faith-not just in a traditional sense, but as a tool for resilience, healing, and finding purpose. Charles started Breaking the Silence, an organization designed to support veterans and first responders through faith-based and secular resources, giving them a safe place to connect, share, and rebuild.

In this episode, Charles and Scott discuss:

  • How military service impacts mental and spiritual well-being
  • The struggles veterans face when transitioning out of service
  • Why faith and resilience go hand-in-hand
  • The importance of community and finding a mission after the military
  • Actionable steps for veterans looking to reclaim their sense of purpose

If you've ever felt lost, disconnected, or like something was missing, this conversation is for you. You don't have to do this alone-there's a tribe waiting for you.

Timestamps:

  • 00:02:00 - Charles' journey from Army chaplain assistant to veteran advocate
  • 00:07:00 - The unseen struggles veterans face after leaving service
  • 00:14:30 - How faith and resilience work together for healing
  • 00:25:00 - The power of veteran community and shared experience
  • 00:37:15 - How to find purpose and service after the military

Links & Resources

Transcript

View the transcript for this episode.

]]> full 483 false Losing camaraderie after leaving the military can be one of the hardest parts of the transition. No one seems to understand, and it's easy to feel isolated-even in a room full of people. But what if there was a way to rebuild that sense of purpose and connection?

Enter Charles Watkins, an Army veteran who knows firsthand what it's like to struggle after service. As a former chaplain assistant, he spent his time in the military helping soldiers through their toughest moments. But after leaving the Army, he found himself battling his own transition struggles, feeling lost, and searching for meaning.

That search led him to faith-not just in a traditional sense, but as a tool for resilience, healing, and finding purpose. Charles started Breaking the Silence, an organization designed to support veterans and first responders through faith-based and secular resources, giving them a safe place to connect, share, and rebuild.

In this episode, Charles and Scott discuss:

  • How military service impacts mental and spiritual well-being
  • The struggles veterans face when transitioning out of service
  • Why faith and resilience go hand-in-hand
  • The importance of community and finding a mission after the military
  • Actionable steps for veterans looking to reclaim their sense of purpose

If you've ever felt lost, disconnected, or like something was missing, this conversation is for you. You don't have to do this alone-there's a tribe waiting for you.

Timestamps:

  • 00:02:00 - Charles' journey from Army chaplain assistant to veteran advocate
  • 00:07:00 - The unseen struggles veterans face after leaving service
  • 00:14:30 - How faith and resilience work together for healing
  • 00:25:00 - The power of veteran community and shared experience
  • 00:37:15 - How to find purpose and service after the military

Links & Resources

Transcript

View the transcript for this episode.

]]> 00:47:31 <![CDATA[Fitness, Mindset, and Veteran Success]]> Thu, 17 Apr 2025 08:00:00 +0000 Scott DeLuzio https://permalink.castos.com/podcast/2296/episode/1984984 Life after the military can feel like stepping into the unknown. That sense of mission, the camaraderie, the structure-it's suddenly gone. But what if you could rebuild, stronger than before?

Peter Gunn, a retired Air Force veteran, knows that struggle firsthand. He transitioned through multiple phases of military service, experienced the mental toll of combat stress, and faced the challenge of redefining himself. Now, he's thriving as a competitive bodybuilder and an author, using his experiences to inspire and empower others.

In this episode, Peter shares his journey-from serving in Iraq and Afghanistan to discovering alternative therapies for PTSD and channeling his discipline into bodybuilding and writing. We dive deep into what it takes to stay mission-focused in civilian life, the power of continuous growth, and why embracing new challenges is key to success beyond the uniform.

If you're a veteran navigating your own transition, feeling stuck, or looking for motivation to push forward, this episode is for you.

Key Highlights:

  • 04:00 - The transition from active duty to reserves
  • 06:45 - PTSD triggers and discovering alternative healing
  • 12:00 - Writing as a tool for self-discovery and purpose
  • 18:30 - Outgrowing old relationships and embracing growth
  • 24:45 - Why fitness and discipline are key to longevity

Links & Resources

Transcript

View the transcript for this episode.

]]> full 482 false Life after the military can feel like stepping into the unknown. That sense of mission, the camaraderie, the structure-it's suddenly gone. But what if you could rebuild, stronger than before?

Peter Gunn, a retired Air Force veteran, knows that struggle firsthand. He transitioned through multiple phases of military service, experienced the mental toll of combat stress, and faced the challenge of redefining himself. Now, he's thriving as a competitive bodybuilder and an author, using his experiences to inspire and empower others.

In this episode, Peter shares his journey-from serving in Iraq and Afghanistan to discovering alternative therapies for PTSD and channeling his discipline into bodybuilding and writing. We dive deep into what it takes to stay mission-focused in civilian life, the power of continuous growth, and why embracing new challenges is key to success beyond the uniform.

If you're a veteran navigating your own transition, feeling stuck, or looking for motivation to push forward, this episode is for you.

Key Highlights:

  • 04:00 - The transition from active duty to reserves
  • 06:45 - PTSD triggers and discovering alternative healing
  • 12:00 - Writing as a tool for self-discovery and purpose
  • 18:30 - Outgrowing old relationships and embracing growth
  • 24:45 - Why fitness and discipline are key to longevity

Links & Resources

Transcript

View the transcript for this episode.

]]> 00:35:50 <![CDATA[Alternative Healing for PTSD]]> Tue, 15 Apr 2025 08:00:00 +0000 Scott DeLuzio https://permalink.castos.com/podcast/2296/episode/1984429 The war might be over, but for many veterans, the battle continues long after they return home. Sleepless nights, intrusive memories, and the frustration of feeling unheard are all too common. But what if the traditional routes-therapy, medication, the VA-aren't working for you?

Army veteran and nurse practitioner Bee Doyle knows that struggle firsthand. After experiencing severe combat trauma, she found herself lost in a cycle of PTSD, alcohol abuse, and self-doubt. The traditional treatment methods weren't enough, so she sought something different.

In this episode, Bee shares how alternative healing methods-acupuncture, breathwork, astrology, and energy healing-helped her break free from trauma and reclaim her life. She dives into the science and spirituality behind these practices, why they work for some veterans when conventional therapy doesn't, and how you can begin your own journey toward healing.

If you've ever felt like you're out of options, this conversation might just change everything.

Timestamps:

  • 00:04:30 - Combat experience and the trauma that followed
  • 00:12:15 - Struggling with PTSD and traditional treatments
  • 00:26:30 - Discovering alternative healing methods
  • 00:38:45 - How astrology and energy healing transformed Bee's life
  • 00:50:00 - Advice for skeptics and next steps for healing

Links & Resources

Transcript

View the transcript for this episode.

]]> full 481 false The war might be over, but for many veterans, the battle continues long after they return home. Sleepless nights, intrusive memories, and the frustration of feeling unheard are all too common. But what if the traditional routes-therapy, medication, the VA-aren't working for you?

Army veteran and nurse practitioner Bee Doyle knows that struggle firsthand. After experiencing severe combat trauma, she found herself lost in a cycle of PTSD, alcohol abuse, and self-doubt. The traditional treatment methods weren't enough, so she sought something different.

In this episode, Bee shares how alternative healing methods-acupuncture, breathwork, astrology, and energy healing-helped her break free from trauma and reclaim her life. She dives into the science and spirituality behind these practices, why they work for some veterans when conventional therapy doesn't, and how you can begin your own journey toward healing.

If you've ever felt like you're out of options, this conversation might just change everything.

Timestamps:

  • 00:04:30 - Combat experience and the trauma that followed
  • 00:12:15 - Struggling with PTSD and traditional treatments
  • 00:26:30 - Discovering alternative healing methods
  • 00:38:45 - How astrology and energy healing transformed Bee's life
  • 00:50:00 - Advice for skeptics and next steps for healing

Links & Resources

Transcript

View the transcript for this episode.

]]> 00:56:13 <![CDATA[Why Veterans Make the Best Leaders]]> Thu, 10 Apr 2025 08:00:00 +0000 Scott DeLuzio https://permalink.castos.com/podcast/2296/episode/1984411 Trust. Resilience. Leadership. In the military, they weren't optional-they were life or death. But after service? No one hands you a guidebook on how to apply those same skills to the real world.

Michael Allison knows this firsthand. A Marine Corps veteran and Purple Heart recipient, Michael faced combat, injury, and the challenges of transition head-on. Now, as the CEO of The Adversity Academy, he's helping veterans and professionals alike redefine leadership, conquer adversity, and take control of their lives.

In this episode, Michael shares:

  • The crucial leadership lessons forged in combat
  • How trust and adaptability are the cornerstones of success
  • Why mental resilience is the key to overcoming life's toughest moments
  • His Break the Bottle Challenge and how it's changing lives
  • The mindset shift every veteran needs to step into their full potential

Timestamps:

02:15 - Lessons in trust and leadership from combat

07:30 - Preparing for the unexpected: Why training matters in business and life

14:15 - The Break the Bottle Challenge: A new approach to resilience

25:00 - How adversity can shape your future success

38:45 - Building the right team: Why relationships are everything

Links & Resources

Transcript

View the transcript for this episode.

]]> full 480 false Trust. Resilience. Leadership. In the military, they weren't optional-they were life or death. But after service? No one hands you a guidebook on how to apply those same skills to the real world.

Michael Allison knows this firsthand. A Marine Corps veteran and Purple Heart recipient, Michael faced combat, injury, and the challenges of transition head-on. Now, as the CEO of The Adversity Academy, he's helping veterans and professionals alike redefine leadership, conquer adversity, and take control of their lives.

In this episode, Michael shares:

  • The crucial leadership lessons forged in combat
  • How trust and adaptability are the cornerstones of success
  • Why mental resilience is the key to overcoming life's toughest moments
  • His Break the Bottle Challenge and how it's changing lives
  • The mindset shift every veteran needs to step into their full potential

Timestamps:

02:15 - Lessons in trust and leadership from combat

07:30 - Preparing for the unexpected: Why training matters in business and life

14:15 - The Break the Bottle Challenge: A new approach to resilience

25:00 - How adversity can shape your future success

38:45 - Building the right team: Why relationships are everything

Links & Resources

Transcript

View the transcript for this episode.

]]> 00:46:56 <![CDATA[Practical Pain Solutions for Veterans]]> Tue, 08 Apr 2025 08:00:00 +0000 Scott DeLuzio https://permalink.castos.com/podcast/2296/episode/1984392 Chronic pain is something many veterans live with every day, whether it's from service-related injuries or the wear and tear of life. But what if you didn't have to rely on pain meds or go under the knife to get relief?

Dr. Winifred Bragg, a board-certified pain management physician, has spent over 25 years helping people treat back, neck, and orthopedic pain-without surgery. In this episode, she breaks down the biggest myths about back pain, why so many people rush into surgery unnecessarily, and what you can do right now to manage your pain naturally.

She also shares her "MEDS" method-Mindset, Exercise, Doing what you love, and Sleep-simple changes that can make a massive difference in your pain levels. Plus, we dive into what spinal stenosis and herniated discs mean for your health and how to tell if you're seeing the right doctor for your pain.

This episode is a must-listen if you or someone you know is struggling with chronic pain.

Timestamps:

02:00 - Why most back pain doesn't need surgery 04:30 - The "MEDS" approach to pain management 10:15 - The truth about spinal stenosis and how to treat it 18:45 - Herniated discs: What they mean for your health 30:00 - Heat vs. ice: What works and when to use it

Links & Resources

Transcript

View the transcript for this episode.

]]> full 479 false Chronic pain is something many veterans live with every day, whether it's from service-related injuries or the wear and tear of life. But what if you didn't have to rely on pain meds or go under the knife to get relief?

Dr. Winifred Bragg, a board-certified pain management physician, has spent over 25 years helping people treat back, neck, and orthopedic pain-without surgery. In this episode, she breaks down the biggest myths about back pain, why so many people rush into surgery unnecessarily, and what you can do right now to manage your pain naturally.

She also shares her "MEDS" method-Mindset, Exercise, Doing what you love, and Sleep-simple changes that can make a massive difference in your pain levels. Plus, we dive into what spinal stenosis and herniated discs mean for your health and how to tell if you're seeing the right doctor for your pain.

This episode is a must-listen if you or someone you know is struggling with chronic pain.

Timestamps:

02:00 - Why most back pain doesn't need surgery 04:30 - The "MEDS" approach to pain management 10:15 - The truth about spinal stenosis and how to treat it 18:45 - Herniated discs: What they mean for your health 30:00 - Heat vs. ice: What works and when to use it

Links & Resources

Transcript

View the transcript for this episode.

]]> 00:48:59 <![CDATA[Veterans and the Tools That Keep Us Sharp]]> Thu, 03 Apr 2025 08:00:00 +0000 Scott DeLuzio https://permalink.castos.com/podcast/2296/episode/1984090 Knives have always been more than just tools for veterans-they're symbols of skill, precision, and independence. But what happens when injuries or years of service-related wear make it harder to use the tools you once mastered? Doug Katz, a West Point graduate and disabled Army veteran, saw firsthand how physical limitations can steal confidence in the kitchen. So, he did what veterans do best. He adapted and overcame, creating the NULU Knife, a tool designed to give control back to those who need it most.

In this episode, Doug shares his journey from the military to entrepreneurship and how he developed an adaptive knife that goes beyond making cooking easier-it helps veterans regain confidence and control in the kitchen. Whether you're dealing with combat injuries, arthritis, or aging joints, this conversation will change how you think about the tools you use daily.

We also get into the veteran mindset regarding using gear, why traditional kitchen knives don't work for everyone, and how small innovations can make a huge impact on everyday life. If you've ever struggled with something that used to feel second nature, this episode is for you.

Timestamps:

  • 00:06:00 - Innovating adaptive tools
  • 00:09:00 - Personal struggles that sparked the NULU Knife
  • 00:22:00 - Why smart design benefits everyone, not just those with disabilities
  • 00:34:00 - The connection between military innovation and everyday problem-solving
  • 00:44:00 - Encouraging veterans to turn their challenges into business opportunities

Links & Resources

Transcript

View the transcript for this episode.

]]> full 478 false Knives have always been more than just tools for veterans-they're symbols of skill, precision, and independence. But what happens when injuries or years of service-related wear make it harder to use the tools you once mastered? Doug Katz, a West Point graduate and disabled Army veteran, saw firsthand how physical limitations can steal confidence in the kitchen. So, he did what veterans do best. He adapted and overcame, creating the NULU Knife, a tool designed to give control back to those who need it most.

In this episode, Doug shares his journey from the military to entrepreneurship and how he developed an adaptive knife that goes beyond making cooking easier-it helps veterans regain confidence and control in the kitchen. Whether you're dealing with combat injuries, arthritis, or aging joints, this conversation will change how you think about the tools you use daily.

We also get into the veteran mindset regarding using gear, why traditional kitchen knives don't work for everyone, and how small innovations can make a huge impact on everyday life. If you've ever struggled with something that used to feel second nature, this episode is for you.

Timestamps:

  • 00:06:00 - Innovating adaptive tools
  • 00:09:00 - Personal struggles that sparked the NULU Knife
  • 00:22:00 - Why smart design benefits everyone, not just those with disabilities
  • 00:34:00 - The connection between military innovation and everyday problem-solving
  • 00:44:00 - Encouraging veterans to turn their challenges into business opportunities

Links & Resources

Transcript

View the transcript for this episode.

]]> 01:01:06 <![CDATA[Veteran Addiction Recovery Without Meds]]> Tue, 01 Apr 2025 08:00:00 +0000 Scott DeLuzio https://permalink.castos.com/podcast/2296/episode/1981042 Addiction isn't just a bad habit-it's your brain craving relief. For many veterans, that relief comes in the form of smoking, drinking, or even harder substances to cope with PTSD, stress, or physical pain. But what if you could break free without white-knuckling through withdrawal?

In this episode, Meridee Hlokoff shares how she went from struggling with addiction herself to running Laser Quit, a business using cold laser therapy to help people quit smoking, drinking, and even heavy drugs. By targeting the brain's addiction response at its core, this method tricks the mind into thinking it's already had its fix-eliminating cravings and making it easier to step away from harmful substances.

We break down:

  • What cold laser therapy is and how it works
  • Why traditional quitting methods fail for so many people
  • How this therapy is giving veterans a new path to recovery
  • The surprising science behind addiction and dopamine regulation
  • What's next for Laser Quit and how they're expanding access to this life-changing treatment

If you or someone you know is struggling with addiction, this episode is a must-listen. Stick around for actionable advice that could make all the difference.

Timestamps:

  • 00:01:00 - How cold laser therapy rewires addiction
  • 00:05:45 - From smoking to heroin: Why the science works for all addictions
  • 00:12:30 - The real reason quitting feels impossible
  • 00:20:00 - How veterans can use this therapy for PTSD and stress relief
  • 00:35:15 - Breaking the cycle: Building new habits after addiction

Links & Resources

Transcript

View the transcript for this episode.

]]> full 477 false Addiction isn't just a bad habit-it's your brain craving relief. For many veterans, that relief comes in the form of smoking, drinking, or even harder substances to cope with PTSD, stress, or physical pain. But what if you could break free without white-knuckling through withdrawal?

In this episode, Meridee Hlokoff shares how she went from struggling with addiction herself to running Laser Quit, a business using cold laser therapy to help people quit smoking, drinking, and even heavy drugs. By targeting the brain's addiction response at its core, this method tricks the mind into thinking it's already had its fix-eliminating cravings and making it easier to step away from harmful substances.

We break down:

  • What cold laser therapy is and how it works
  • Why traditional quitting methods fail for so many people
  • How this therapy is giving veterans a new path to recovery
  • The surprising science behind addiction and dopamine regulation
  • What's next for Laser Quit and how they're expanding access to this life-changing treatment

If you or someone you know is struggling with addiction, this episode is a must-listen. Stick around for actionable advice that could make all the difference.

Timestamps:

  • 00:01:00 - How cold laser therapy rewires addiction
  • 00:05:45 - From smoking to heroin: Why the science works for all addictions
  • 00:12:30 - The real reason quitting feels impossible
  • 00:20:00 - How veterans can use this therapy for PTSD and stress relief
  • 00:35:15 - Breaking the cycle: Building new habits after addiction

Links & Resources

Transcript

View the transcript for this episode.

]]> 00:48:20 <![CDATA[Finding Freedom from Anxiety and PTSD]]> Thu, 27 Mar 2025 08:00:00 +0000 Scott DeLuzio https://permalink.castos.com/podcast/2296/episode/1980302 Many veterans struggle with anxiety, PTSD, and the hidden battles that linger long after their service ends. Army veteran and licensed professional counselor Healey Ikerd understands that firsthand. With over 17 years in the mental health field, she combines clinical expertise with personal experience to help veterans navigate transition challenges, mental health, and personal growth.

In this episode, Healey shares why so many veterans feel disconnected after leaving the military, the surprising ways trauma surfaces in daily life, and how to develop healthy coping strategies. She also discusses the importance of faith in healing, the power of cognitive behavioral therapy, and why acknowledging the need for help is a sign of strength-not weakness.

From practical mental health tips to discussing her workbook, Changing Your Feelings: A Workbook for Anxiety and Worry from a Christian Perspective, Healey offers a roadmap for veterans seeking peace and fulfillment beyond their service. Whether you're struggling yourself or want to support a loved one, this conversation is packed with insight and actionable steps.

Timestamps: 05:30 - Understanding trauma's impact on daily life 10:45 - Why veterans struggle with seeking mental health help 15:00 - Healthy vs. unhealthy coping mechanisms 20:30 - The role of faith in healing from PTSD 25:15 - Practical mental health strategies every veteran should know 30:45 - How family and friends can support struggling veterans 35:00 - Why asking for help is a sign of strength, not weakness 40:15 - Overview of Changing Your Feelings workbook

Links & Resources

Transcript

View the transcript for this episode.

]]> full 476 false Many veterans struggle with anxiety, PTSD, and the hidden battles that linger long after their service ends. Army veteran and licensed professional counselor Healey Ikerd understands that firsthand. With over 17 years in the mental health field, she combines clinical expertise with personal experience to help veterans navigate transition challenges, mental health, and personal growth.

In this episode, Healey shares why so many veterans feel disconnected after leaving the military, the surprising ways trauma surfaces in daily life, and how to develop healthy coping strategies. She also discusses the importance of faith in healing, the power of cognitive behavioral therapy, and why acknowledging the need for help is a sign of strength-not weakness.

From practical mental health tips to discussing her workbook, Changing Your Feelings: A Workbook for Anxiety and Worry from a Christian Perspective, Healey offers a roadmap for veterans seeking peace and fulfillment beyond their service. Whether you're struggling yourself or want to support a loved one, this conversation is packed with insight and actionable steps.

Timestamps: 05:30 - Understanding trauma's impact on daily life 10:45 - Why veterans struggle with seeking mental health help 15:00 - Healthy vs. unhealthy coping mechanisms 20:30 - The role of faith in healing from PTSD 25:15 - Practical mental health strategies every veteran should know 30:45 - How family and friends can support struggling veterans 35:00 - Why asking for help is a sign of strength, not weakness 40:15 - Overview of Changing Your Feelings workbook

Links & Resources

Transcript

View the transcript for this episode.

]]> 01:01:11 <![CDATA[Turning Pain Into Purpose]]> Tue, 25 Mar 2025 08:00:00 +0000 Scott DeLuzio https://permalink.castos.com/podcast/2296/episode/1980254 A single decision changed everything for Mark O'Brien. One night in 2008, a tragic mistake led to the loss of someone he loved-and a journey of guilt, grief, and, ultimately, transformation. Mark shares his deeply personal story of learning to live with the consequences of his actions, facing the justice system, and finding a way to help others through advocacy and trauma-informed care.

He discusses the concept of post-traumatic growth-how individuals can come out of adversity stronger, with a deeper sense of purpose. His work now focuses on helping organizations support those affected by trauma, from addiction recovery to criminal justice reform. This episode is raw, real, and packed with lessons on accountability, resilience, and redemption.

For anyone struggling with guilt, grief, or finding a path forward after hardship, this is a conversation you won't want to miss.

Timestamps: 04:30 - The weight of guilt and grief 09:00 - The power of forgiveness and healing 14:15 - Facing the justice system and rebuilding life 18:45 - Barriers to reintegration after incarceration 24:00 - What is post-traumatic growth? 30:15 - Helping others through trauma-informed care 38:30 - The power of community and resilience 45:00 - Small wins and positive change

Links & Resources

Transcript

View the transcript for this episode.

]]> full 475 false A single decision changed everything for Mark O'Brien. One night in 2008, a tragic mistake led to the loss of someone he loved-and a journey of guilt, grief, and, ultimately, transformation. Mark shares his deeply personal story of learning to live with the consequences of his actions, facing the justice system, and finding a way to help others through advocacy and trauma-informed care.

He discusses the concept of post-traumatic growth-how individuals can come out of adversity stronger, with a deeper sense of purpose. His work now focuses on helping organizations support those affected by trauma, from addiction recovery to criminal justice reform. This episode is raw, real, and packed with lessons on accountability, resilience, and redemption.

For anyone struggling with guilt, grief, or finding a path forward after hardship, this is a conversation you won't want to miss.

Timestamps: 04:30 - The weight of guilt and grief 09:00 - The power of forgiveness and healing 14:15 - Facing the justice system and rebuilding life 18:45 - Barriers to reintegration after incarceration 24:00 - What is post-traumatic growth? 30:15 - Helping others through trauma-informed care 38:30 - The power of community and resilience 45:00 - Small wins and positive change

Links & Resources

Transcript

View the transcript for this episode.

]]> 00:51:51 <![CDATA[Rising Strong After Combat Injury]]> Thu, 20 Mar 2025 08:00:00 +0000 Scott DeLuzio https://permalink.castos.com/podcast/2296/episode/1979752 A split-second decision, a devastating explosion, and a new reality. Marine Corps veteran Davey Lind lost both of his legs to an IED during his fifth combat deployment in Iraq. But instead of giving up, he made a commitment-to walk again, to push forward, and to inspire others. From the battlefield to becoming a CrossFit trainer and motivational speaker, Davey shares his journey of resilience, recovery, and rediscovering purpose. He talks about the mental battle of losing limbs, the power of a strong support system, and why he refuses to let injuries define his future. This episode is a must-listen for veterans looking for inspiration to push past adversity and build a meaningful life after service.

00:00 - The blast that changed everything 04:00 - Facing the reality of losing both legs 06:30 - Setting a goal to walk again 08:45 - Walking at a wedding just two months after injury 15:00 - The mental battle of recovery 22:00 - Finding purpose in CrossFit and helping others 30:15 - How physical fitness builds mental resilience 40:00 - The role of Semper Fi & America's Fund in his recovery 45:30 - Words of encouragement for other veterans

Links & Resources

Transcript

View the transcript for this episode.

]]> full 474 false A split-second decision, a devastating explosion, and a new reality. Marine Corps veteran Davey Lind lost both of his legs to an IED during his fifth combat deployment in Iraq. But instead of giving up, he made a commitment-to walk again, to push forward, and to inspire others. From the battlefield to becoming a CrossFit trainer and motivational speaker, Davey shares his journey of resilience, recovery, and rediscovering purpose. He talks about the mental battle of losing limbs, the power of a strong support system, and why he refuses to let injuries define his future. This episode is a must-listen for veterans looking for inspiration to push past adversity and build a meaningful life after service.

00:00 - The blast that changed everything 04:00 - Facing the reality of losing both legs 06:30 - Setting a goal to walk again 08:45 - Walking at a wedding just two months after injury 15:00 - The mental battle of recovery 22:00 - Finding purpose in CrossFit and helping others 30:15 - How physical fitness builds mental resilience 40:00 - The role of Semper Fi & America's Fund in his recovery 45:30 - Words of encouragement for other veterans

Links & Resources

Transcript

View the transcript for this episode.

]]> 00:45:05 <![CDATA[How Military Discipline Built a Premium Scotch Brand]]> Tue, 18 Mar 2025 08:00:00 +0000 Scott DeLuzio https://permalink.castos.com/podcast/2296/episode/1966219 Retired Marine Corps Major Eric Dominijanni shares his journey from the military to becoming the founder and CEO of FIOR Scotch. After years of service, Eric pursued his passion for fine spirits, applying the same discipline and commitment that defined his military career to crafting a high-quality Scotch. He discusses the challenges of transitioning from the Marine Corps into the spirits industry, the lessons he carried from military service, and how he built a veteran-owned brand from the ground up. Eric also shares insights on entrepreneurship, product development, and why attention to detail is crucial in the military and business worlds.

Links & Resources

Transcript

View the transcript for this episode.

]]> full 473 false Retired Marine Corps Major Eric Dominijanni shares his journey from the military to becoming the founder and CEO of FIOR Scotch. After years of service, Eric pursued his passion for fine spirits, applying the same discipline and commitment that defined his military career to crafting a high-quality Scotch. He discusses the challenges of transitioning from the Marine Corps into the spirits industry, the lessons he carried from military service, and how he built a veteran-owned brand from the ground up. Eric also shares insights on entrepreneurship, product development, and why attention to detail is crucial in the military and business worlds.

Links & Resources

Transcript

View the transcript for this episode.

]]> 00:51:07 <![CDATA[Overcoming Addiction and Homelessness as a Veteran]]> Thu, 13 Mar 2025 08:00:00 +0000 Scott DeLuzio https://permalink.castos.com/podcast/2296/episode/1955432 Jay Wylie, a Navy veteran, shares his journey from addiction and career loss to sobriety and purpose. After being relieved of command and facing a public downfall due to alcoholism, Jay turned his life around through recovery and now dedicates himself to helping veterans and first responders battling addiction and homelessness. As a leader at Confidential Recovery and the Veterans Navigation Center, he provides veterans with resources, peer support, and structured recovery programs. Jay discusses how trauma, shame, and fear can fuel substance abuse and why community support is essential for lasting change.

00:02:30 - Struggling with alcoholism and self-destruction 00:06:45 - Losing command and hitting rock bottom 00:12:15 - The moment Jay sought help and began recovery 00:20:30 - Confidential Recovery and Veterans Navigation Center 00:30:45 - Breaking the stigma around addiction and seeking help 00:45:15 - How veterans can find support and take the first step toward recovery

Links & Resources

Transcript

View the transcript for this episode.

]]> full 472 false Jay Wylie, a Navy veteran, shares his journey from addiction and career loss to sobriety and purpose. After being relieved of command and facing a public downfall due to alcoholism, Jay turned his life around through recovery and now dedicates himself to helping veterans and first responders battling addiction and homelessness. As a leader at Confidential Recovery and the Veterans Navigation Center, he provides veterans with resources, peer support, and structured recovery programs. Jay discusses how trauma, shame, and fear can fuel substance abuse and why community support is essential for lasting change.

00:02:30 - Struggling with alcoholism and self-destruction 00:06:45 - Losing command and hitting rock bottom 00:12:15 - The moment Jay sought help and began recovery 00:20:30 - Confidential Recovery and Veterans Navigation Center 00:30:45 - Breaking the stigma around addiction and seeking help 00:45:15 - How veterans can find support and take the first step toward recovery

Links & Resources

Transcript

View the transcript for this episode.

]]> 00:56:42 <![CDATA[Healing the Inner Wounds of War]]> Tue, 11 Mar 2025 08:00:00 +0000 Scott DeLuzio https://permalink.castos.com/podcast/2296/episode/1950789 Dr. Ron Schneebaum, retired pediatrician and author of Bigger Hearted, shares his two-part approach to helping veterans heal their inner wounds. Drawing from his medical background and advocacy for mental health, he emphasizes the importance of reframing military experiences and practicing focused inner listening. Dr. Schneebaum explains how embracing love and compassion can help veterans process trauma, find self-acceptance, and lead more fulfilling lives. He also shares actionable strategies and offers free Zoom workshops to support veterans in their healing journey.

00:00:00 - Introduction to Dr. Ron Schneebaum and Bigger Hearted 00:02:00 - Why veterans should reframe their military service experiences 00:08:30 - The power of love and compassion in overcoming trauma 00:15:00 - Practicing focused inner listening for self-awareness 00:25:45 - Learning self-acceptance and embracing inner strength 00:40:00 - Strategies for applying compassion in daily life 00:45:30 - Free resources and workshops for veterans

Links & Resources

Transcript

View the transcript for this episode.

]]> full 471 false Dr. Ron Schneebaum, retired pediatrician and author of Bigger Hearted, shares his two-part approach to helping veterans heal their inner wounds. Drawing from his medical background and advocacy for mental health, he emphasizes the importance of reframing military experiences and practicing focused inner listening. Dr. Schneebaum explains how embracing love and compassion can help veterans process trauma, find self-acceptance, and lead more fulfilling lives. He also shares actionable strategies and offers free Zoom workshops to support veterans in their healing journey.

00:00:00 - Introduction to Dr. Ron Schneebaum and Bigger Hearted 00:02:00 - Why veterans should reframe their military service experiences 00:08:30 - The power of love and compassion in overcoming trauma 00:15:00 - Practicing focused inner listening for self-awareness 00:25:45 - Learning self-acceptance and embracing inner strength 00:40:00 - Strategies for applying compassion in daily life 00:45:30 - Free resources and workshops for veterans

Links & Resources

Transcript

View the transcript for this episode.

]]> 00:48:58 <![CDATA[Surviving Suicide and Finding Purpose]]> Thu, 06 Mar 2025 08:00:00 +0000 Scott DeLuzio https://permalink.castos.com/podcast/2296/episode/1945341 Sheridan Taylor, a Canadian Army combat veteran, former corrections officer, and suicide survivor, shares his raw and powerful story of survival, loss, and recovery. Sheridan reflects on the lessons learned from his military career, the struggles of transitioning to civilian life, and the emotional toll of losing his wife. He discusses how therapy and self-awareness helped him rebuild his life and how his book, Not Okay Okay A Roadmap Back from the Brink, serves as a guide for others navigating trauma and mental health challenges. Sheridan emphasizes the importance of reaching out for help, embracing vulnerability, and finding strength in community.

00:00:00 - Introduction to Sheridan Taylor’s military and personal journey 00:06:30 - Transitioning out of the military and dealing with loss 00:15:00 - The emotional toll of grief and trauma 00:25:45 - Overcoming societal stigmas around mental health 00:40:00 - The pivotal moment of asking for help 00:55:20 - Lessons learned from therapy and rebuilding life 01:06:00 - Insights from Not Okay Okay A Roadmap Back from the Brink

Links & Resources

Transcript

View the transcript for this episode.

]]> full 470 false Sheridan Taylor, a Canadian Army combat veteran, former corrections officer, and suicide survivor, shares his raw and powerful story of survival, loss, and recovery. Sheridan reflects on the lessons learned from his military career, the struggles of transitioning to civilian life, and the emotional toll of losing his wife. He discusses how therapy and self-awareness helped him rebuild his life and how his book, Not Okay Okay A Roadmap Back from the Brink, serves as a guide for others navigating trauma and mental health challenges. Sheridan emphasizes the importance of reaching out for help, embracing vulnerability, and finding strength in community.

00:00:00 - Introduction to Sheridan Taylor’s military and personal journey 00:06:30 - Transitioning out of the military and dealing with loss 00:15:00 - The emotional toll of grief and trauma 00:25:45 - Overcoming societal stigmas around mental health 00:40:00 - The pivotal moment of asking for help 00:55:20 - Lessons learned from therapy and rebuilding life 01:06:00 - Insights from Not Okay Okay A Roadmap Back from the Brink

Links & Resources

Transcript

View the transcript for this episode.

]]> 01:08:38 <![CDATA[Warrior Strong Helping Veterans Stay Fit and Connected]]> Tue, 04 Mar 2025 08:00:00 +0000 Scott DeLuzio https://permalink.castos.com/podcast/2296/episode/1939166 Tom Tice, founder and CEO of Warrior Strong, shares how his organization helps veterans, first responders, and their families through free health and wellness programs. With offerings like yoga, breathwork, meditation, and fitness classes, Warrior Strong fosters camaraderie, combats loneliness, and encourages healthy lifestyles. Tom discusses the importance of building a supportive community and highlights the success stories of veterans who found purpose and strength through the program. Whether online or in-person, Warrior Strong is committed to improving the lives of those who serve and their families.

00:00:00 - Introduction to Warrior Strong and its mission 00:06:00 - The inspiration behind Warrior Strong 00:12:30 - Overview of health and wellness programs offered 00:18:45 - How Warrior Strong combats loneliness and obesity 00:25:15 - Success stories of veterans who found purpose 00:35:00 - Family-oriented programs and community support 00:40:00 - Upcoming events and how to get involved

Links & Resources

Transcript

View the transcript for this episode.

]]> full 469 false Tom Tice, founder and CEO of Warrior Strong, shares how his organization helps veterans, first responders, and their families through free health and wellness programs. With offerings like yoga, breathwork, meditation, and fitness classes, Warrior Strong fosters camaraderie, combats loneliness, and encourages healthy lifestyles. Tom discusses the importance of building a supportive community and highlights the success stories of veterans who found purpose and strength through the program. Whether online or in-person, Warrior Strong is committed to improving the lives of those who serve and their families.

00:00:00 - Introduction to Warrior Strong and its mission 00:06:00 - The inspiration behind Warrior Strong 00:12:30 - Overview of health and wellness programs offered 00:18:45 - How Warrior Strong combats loneliness and obesity 00:25:15 - Success stories of veterans who found purpose 00:35:00 - Family-oriented programs and community support 00:40:00 - Upcoming events and how to get involved

Links & Resources

Transcript

View the transcript for this episode.

]]> 00:40:35 <![CDATA[Mastering Breathwork for a Better Life]]> Thu, 27 Feb 2025 08:00:00 +0000 Scott DeLuzio https://permalink.castos.com/podcast/2296/episode/1939117 Tim Thomas, founder of Breathwork in Bed and Australian Special Forces veteran, shares the life-changing benefits of proper breathing techniques. Drawing from his military experience and deep understanding of sleep and wellness, Tim introduces simple yet powerful breathwork exercises to improve sleep quality, boost energy, and enhance mental clarity. He explains how small, intentional actions-like mastering the first 10 minutes of your day-can lead to profound changes in your personal and professional life. This episode offers actionable strategies to help listeners break free from fatigue, find inner strength, and reconnect with their purpose.

00:00:00 - Introduction to Tim Thomas and Breathwork in Bed 00:06:30 - Lessons from Special Forces and redefining resilience 00:15:00 - Importance of sleep as the foundation of life 00:25:45 - Winning the first 10 minutes of your day 00:35:00 - Demonstration of three simple breathwork techniques 01:10:00 - How breathwork helps veterans and their families 01:25:30 - Tools to reduce stress and reconnect with yourself 01:35:00 - Offering free resources for lasting results

Links & Resources

Transcript

View the transcript for this episode.

]]> full 468 false Tim Thomas, founder of Breathwork in Bed and Australian Special Forces veteran, shares the life-changing benefits of proper breathing techniques. Drawing from his military experience and deep understanding of sleep and wellness, Tim introduces simple yet powerful breathwork exercises to improve sleep quality, boost energy, and enhance mental clarity. He explains how small, intentional actions-like mastering the first 10 minutes of your day-can lead to profound changes in your personal and professional life. This episode offers actionable strategies to help listeners break free from fatigue, find inner strength, and reconnect with their purpose.

00:00:00 - Introduction to Tim Thomas and Breathwork in Bed 00:06:30 - Lessons from Special Forces and redefining resilience 00:15:00 - Importance of sleep as the foundation of life 00:25:45 - Winning the first 10 minutes of your day 00:35:00 - Demonstration of three simple breathwork techniques 01:10:00 - How breathwork helps veterans and their families 01:25:30 - Tools to reduce stress and reconnect with yourself 01:35:00 - Offering free resources for lasting results

Links & Resources

Transcript

View the transcript for this episode.

]]> 01:35:32 <![CDATA[Fight Until the Lights Go Out]]> Tue, 25 Feb 2025 08:00:00 +0000 Scott DeLuzio https://permalink.castos.com/podcast/2296/episode/1935565 Gary Pacelli, retired detective, Marine Corps veteran, and author, shares his gripping story of survival, recovery, and resilience after a life-changing skydiving accident left him paralyzed. Gary reflects on his military and law enforcement career, the harrowing moments after his accident, and the mental battle to rebuild his life. His journey illustrates the power of mindset, the importance of finding motivation, and the value of embracing life's challenges. From fighting self-doubt to re-learning basic tasks and eventually returning to the skies, Gary's story is a testament to the strength of the human spirit.

00:00:00 - Introduction to Gary Pacelli and his background 00:06:30 - The skydiving accident and its immediate aftermath 00:15:45 - Relearning basic tasks and fighting mental barriers 00:44:15 - Returning to skydiving and overcoming stigma 01:12:50 - Lessons learned and the importance of mindset 02:00:00 - Reflections on life, purpose, and resilience

Links & Resources

Transcript

View the transcript for this episode.

]]> full 467 false Gary Pacelli, retired detective, Marine Corps veteran, and author, shares his gripping story of survival, recovery, and resilience after a life-changing skydiving accident left him paralyzed. Gary reflects on his military and law enforcement career, the harrowing moments after his accident, and the mental battle to rebuild his life. His journey illustrates the power of mindset, the importance of finding motivation, and the value of embracing life's challenges. From fighting self-doubt to re-learning basic tasks and eventually returning to the skies, Gary's story is a testament to the strength of the human spirit.

00:00:00 - Introduction to Gary Pacelli and his background 00:06:30 - The skydiving accident and its immediate aftermath 00:15:45 - Relearning basic tasks and fighting mental barriers 00:44:15 - Returning to skydiving and overcoming stigma 01:12:50 - Lessons learned and the importance of mindset 02:00:00 - Reflections on life, purpose, and resilience

Links & Resources

Transcript

View the transcript for this episode.

]]> 02:16:21 <![CDATA[Honor Guard Coffee Supporting Veterans and Service Dogs]]> Thu, 20 Feb 2025 08:00:00 +0000 Scott DeLuzio https://permalink.castos.com/podcast/2296/episode/1935003 Steven Ferguson, Marine Corps veteran and founder of Honorguard Coffee, shares his journey from deployment to navigating the challenges of civilian life. He discusses how his service dog and alternative therapies helped him find healing and purpose. Inspired by his own struggles, Steven created Honorguard Coffee to break down barriers for veterans seeking service dogs and support. By combining entrepreneurship and advocacy, Steven is addressing the veteran suicide crisis and empowering grassroots organizations to make a real difference. This episode highlights resilience, the power of community, and innovative solutions to tackle mental health challenges.

01:00 - Steven's Marine Corps journey and deployments 05:30 - Challenges transitioning to civilian life after a medical retirement 12:00 - Finding healing through a service dog and alternative therapies 20:45 - The birth of Honor Guard Coffee and its mission 30:00 - Supporting grassroots organizations in combating veteran suicide 36:15 - Advice for veterans finding community and purpose

Links & Resources

Transcript

View the transcript for this episode.

]]> full 466 false Steven Ferguson, Marine Corps veteran and founder of Honorguard Coffee, shares his journey from deployment to navigating the challenges of civilian life. He discusses how his service dog and alternative therapies helped him find healing and purpose. Inspired by his own struggles, Steven created Honorguard Coffee to break down barriers for veterans seeking service dogs and support. By combining entrepreneurship and advocacy, Steven is addressing the veteran suicide crisis and empowering grassroots organizations to make a real difference. This episode highlights resilience, the power of community, and innovative solutions to tackle mental health challenges.

01:00 - Steven's Marine Corps journey and deployments 05:30 - Challenges transitioning to civilian life after a medical retirement 12:00 - Finding healing through a service dog and alternative therapies 20:45 - The birth of Honor Guard Coffee and its mission 30:00 - Supporting grassroots organizations in combating veteran suicide 36:15 - Advice for veterans finding community and purpose

Links & Resources

Transcript

View the transcript for this episode.

]]> 00:47:08 <![CDATA[Go for No Turning Rejection Into Success]]> Tue, 18 Feb 2025 08:00:00 +0000 Scott DeLuzio https://permalink.castos.com/podcast/2296/episode/1932705 Andrea Waltz, co-author of Go for No, shares the transformative power of embracing rejection as a pathway to success. In this conversation, Andrea explores how shifting perspectives on failure can lead to resilience, personal growth, and professional achievement. Drawing from her book, she outlines how hearing "no" can be a stepping stone rather than a roadblock and how military veterans, professionals, and anyone looking to push past barriers can apply this mindset to their lives. From career transitions to overcoming mental hurdles, Andrea highlights actionable strategies to turn setbacks into valuable learning experiences.

01:00 - Introducing Andrea Waltz and Go for No 04:30 - The concept of "Yes is the destination, No is how you get there" 08:15 - Lessons from failure and embracing a growth mindset 15:00 - Applying the Go for No mindset to career transitions 22:45 - Building resilience and confidence through rejection 30:00 - Practical advice for practicing persistence

Links & Resources

Transcript

View the transcript for this episode.

]]> full 465 false Andrea Waltz, co-author of Go for No, shares the transformative power of embracing rejection as a pathway to success. In this conversation, Andrea explores how shifting perspectives on failure can lead to resilience, personal growth, and professional achievement. Drawing from her book, she outlines how hearing "no" can be a stepping stone rather than a roadblock and how military veterans, professionals, and anyone looking to push past barriers can apply this mindset to their lives. From career transitions to overcoming mental hurdles, Andrea highlights actionable strategies to turn setbacks into valuable learning experiences.

01:00 - Introducing Andrea Waltz and Go for No 04:30 - The concept of "Yes is the destination, No is how you get there" 08:15 - Lessons from failure and embracing a growth mindset 15:00 - Applying the Go for No mindset to career transitions 22:45 - Building resilience and confidence through rejection 30:00 - Practical advice for practicing persistence

Links & Resources

Transcript

View the transcript for this episode.

]]> 00:50:05 <![CDATA[Connecting Rural Veterans to Vital Support]]> Thu, 13 Feb 2025 08:00:00 +0000 Scott DeLuzio https://permalink.castos.com/podcast/2296/episode/1932416 Michelle Lang, Executive Director of Operation Honor: Rural Salute, shares how the organization connects rural veterans and their families to essential resources that are often hard to access in remote areas. Michelle discusses the unique challenges veterans face in rural communities, such as isolation and difficulty finding reliable support. Through in-person events and an online resource hub, Operation Honor: Rural Salute creates a trusted network of services that empower veterans to improve their mental health, access benefits, and connect with their communities. Michelle reflects on impactful stories from their events and provides insight into how rural veterans can discover the resources available to them. 01:00 - Michelle's journey and the founding of Operation Honor: Rural Salute 05:30 - Challenges faced by veterans in rural communities 11:15 - How in-person events foster connections and build trust 19:30 - Stories of impact from rural veteran events 26:00 - Online resources and building trust with rural veterans 34:45 - Advice for rural veterans and how to access benefits

Links & Resources

Transcript

View the transcript for this episode.

]]> 464 false Michelle Lang, Executive Director of Operation Honor: Rural Salute, shares how the organization connects rural veterans and their families to essential resources that are often hard to access in remote areas. Michelle discusses the unique challenges veterans face in rural communities, such as isolation and difficulty finding reliable support. Through in-person events and an online resource hub, Operation Honor: Rural Salute creates a trusted network of services that empower veterans to improve their mental health, access benefits, and connect with their communities. Michelle reflects on impactful stories from their events and provides insight into how rural veterans can discover the resources available to them. 01:00 - Michelle's journey and the founding of Operation Honor: Rural Salute 05:30 - Challenges faced by veterans in rural communities 11:15 - How in-person events foster connections and build trust 19:30 - Stories of impact from rural veteran events 26:00 - Online resources and building trust with rural veterans 34:45 - Advice for rural veterans and how to access benefits

Links & Resources

Transcript

View the transcript for this episode.

]]> 00:44:39 <![CDATA[Building a Community for Veterans Through Golf]]> Tue, 11 Feb 2025 16:42:16 +0000 Scott DeLuzio https://permalink.castos.com/podcast/2296/episode/1932361 Joshua Sears, retired Army Sergeant First Class and founder of the 100FORE22 Foundation shares his journey from combat deployments and personal struggles with mental health to creating a nonprofit supporting veterans, first responders, and their families. Joshua explains how golf became his therapy and inspired the foundation's mission to raise awareness and funds for mental health resources through marathon golf events. By combining camaraderie, competition, and community, the 100FORE22 Foundation significantly impacts the lives of those who have sacrificed so much. Learn how you can support their mission and join the fight to reduce veteran suicide.

01:00 - Joshua's military background and personal struggles 05:30 - The inspiration behind the 100FORE22 Foundation 10:15 - Using golf as a form of therapy and connection 15:45 - The impact of marathon golf events 22:30 - Stories of lives changed through the foundation's efforts 30:00 - How to support the 100FORE22 Foundation and upcoming events

Links & Resources

Transcript

View the transcript for this episode.

]]> full 463 false Joshua Sears, retired Army Sergeant First Class and founder of the 100FORE22 Foundation shares his journey from combat deployments and personal struggles with mental health to creating a nonprofit supporting veterans, first responders, and their families. Joshua explains how golf became his therapy and inspired the foundation's mission to raise awareness and funds for mental health resources through marathon golf events. By combining camaraderie, competition, and community, the 100FORE22 Foundation significantly impacts the lives of those who have sacrificed so much. Learn how you can support their mission and join the fight to reduce veteran suicide.

01:00 - Joshua's military background and personal struggles 05:30 - The inspiration behind the 100FORE22 Foundation 10:15 - Using golf as a form of therapy and connection 15:45 - The impact of marathon golf events 22:30 - Stories of lives changed through the foundation's efforts 30:00 - How to support the 100FORE22 Foundation and upcoming events

Links & Resources

Transcript

View the transcript for this episode.

]]> 00:41:25 <![CDATA[Helping Heroes Find Their Dream Home]]> Thu, 06 Feb 2025 08:00:00 +0000 Scott DeLuzio https://permalink.castos.com/podcast/2296/episode/1934712 David Cain, CEO of Heroes Home Advantage, discusses a real estate program dedicated to giving back to military members, first responders, healthcare workers, educators, and their families. This nationwide network of realtors, lenders, and attorneys offers significant savings by returning a portion of commissions to qualifying heroes. David explains how the program simplifies home buying, reduces costs, and connects individuals with professionals who genuinely care about their service and sacrifice. He highlights the program's benefits, nationwide reach, and why it's critical to start the home-buying process with Heroes Home Advantage. This episode is a must-listen for anyone in these professions considering buying or selling a home.

01:00 - Introduction to Heroes Home Advantage 03:15 - Eligibility criteria for the program 05:45 - How Heroes Home Advantage supports everyday heroes 09:30 - The financial benefits of the program 15:00 - Importance of starting with Heroes Home Advantage before hiring a realtor 20:45 - The program's nationwide reach and why it stands out 30:00 - How listeners can share this program with their community

Links & Resources

Transcript

View the transcript for this episode.

]]> full 462 false David Cain, CEO of Heroes Home Advantage, discusses a real estate program dedicated to giving back to military members, first responders, healthcare workers, educators, and their families. This nationwide network of realtors, lenders, and attorneys offers significant savings by returning a portion of commissions to qualifying heroes. David explains how the program simplifies home buying, reduces costs, and connects individuals with professionals who genuinely care about their service and sacrifice. He highlights the program's benefits, nationwide reach, and why it's critical to start the home-buying process with Heroes Home Advantage. This episode is a must-listen for anyone in these professions considering buying or selling a home.

01:00 - Introduction to Heroes Home Advantage 03:15 - Eligibility criteria for the program 05:45 - How Heroes Home Advantage supports everyday heroes 09:30 - The financial benefits of the program 15:00 - Importance of starting with Heroes Home Advantage before hiring a realtor 20:45 - The program's nationwide reach and why it stands out 30:00 - How listeners can share this program with their community

Links & Resources

Transcript

View the transcript for this episode.

]]> 00:33:47 <![CDATA[Lessons in Resilience from a Combat Physician]]> Tue, 04 Feb 2025 08:00:00 +0000 Scott DeLuzio https://permalink.castos.com/podcast/2296/episode/1926086 Dr. Josh McConkey, a colonel, author, and emergency physician, shares insights from his military and medical careers in this impactful discussion. He reflects on lessons learned from combat deployments, reintegration challenges, and strategies for managing stress and building resilience. Dr. McConkey highlights the importance of finding purpose, leveraging community support, and recognizing the value of teamwork in achieving personal and professional success. He also discusses his book, The Weight Behind the Spear, which encourages individuals to embrace their roles as community supporters and leaders. The conversation touches on overcoming life's obstacles, adapting to challenges, and the unique skills veterans bring to society.

01:00 - Dr. McConkey's background in emergency medicine and military service 06:15 - Lessons from deployment and overcoming fear in combat 14:30 - Building resilience through faith, exercise, and community 20:00 - Challenges faced by the "COVID generation" in the military 25:45 - The value of teamwork and leadership in building confidence 33:00 - Key takeaways from The Weight Behind the Spear and its mission

Links & Resources

Transcript

View the transcript for this episode.

]]> full 461 false Dr. Josh McConkey, a colonel, author, and emergency physician, shares insights from his military and medical careers in this impactful discussion. He reflects on lessons learned from combat deployments, reintegration challenges, and strategies for managing stress and building resilience. Dr. McConkey highlights the importance of finding purpose, leveraging community support, and recognizing the value of teamwork in achieving personal and professional success. He also discusses his book, The Weight Behind the Spear, which encourages individuals to embrace their roles as community supporters and leaders. The conversation touches on overcoming life's obstacles, adapting to challenges, and the unique skills veterans bring to society.

01:00 - Dr. McConkey's background in emergency medicine and military service 06:15 - Lessons from deployment and overcoming fear in combat 14:30 - Building resilience through faith, exercise, and community 20:00 - Challenges faced by the "COVID generation" in the military 25:45 - The value of teamwork and leadership in building confidence 33:00 - Key takeaways from The Weight Behind the Spear and its mission

Links & Resources

Transcript

View the transcript for this episode.

]]> 00:54:51 <![CDATA[Transforming Obstacles into Opportunities]]> Thu, 30 Jan 2025 08:00:00 +0000 Scott DeLuzio https://permalink.castos.com/podcast/2296/episode/1926068 Dr. Philip Agrios, founder and CEO of Transcend Now, shares the TNow Method, a practical approach to overcoming self-sabotaging behaviors. He explains how understanding inborn sabotaging traits can help individuals break negative patterns and achieve personal and professional growth. The episode highlights the three main reasons people self-sabotage: fear of losing success, sidestepping necessary steps, and the pain of increased success. It also offers actionable steps to move forward with confidence and purpose. This discussion is particularly valuable for veterans dealing with challenges like PTSD and transitioning to civilian life.

01:00 - Introduction to Dr. Philip Agrios and the TNow Method 02:30 - The protective nature of self-sabotage 06:15 - Three key reasons people self-sabotage 14:00 - Shifting from self-protection to growth 23:45 - Applying the TNow Method in daily life 34:20 - Final thoughts and resources for change

Links & Resources

Transcript

View the transcript for this episode.

]]> full 460 false Dr. Philip Agrios, founder and CEO of Transcend Now, shares the TNow Method, a practical approach to overcoming self-sabotaging behaviors. He explains how understanding inborn sabotaging traits can help individuals break negative patterns and achieve personal and professional growth. The episode highlights the three main reasons people self-sabotage: fear of losing success, sidestepping necessary steps, and the pain of increased success. It also offers actionable steps to move forward with confidence and purpose. This discussion is particularly valuable for veterans dealing with challenges like PTSD and transitioning to civilian life.

01:00 - Introduction to Dr. Philip Agrios and the TNow Method 02:30 - The protective nature of self-sabotage 06:15 - Three key reasons people self-sabotage 14:00 - Shifting from self-protection to growth 23:45 - Applying the TNow Method in daily life 34:20 - Final thoughts and resources for change

Links & Resources

Transcript

View the transcript for this episode.

]]> 00:55:14 <![CDATA[Strengthening Connections After Military Service]]> Tue, 28 Jan 2025 08:00:00 +0000 Scott DeLuzio https://permalink.castos.com/podcast/2296/episode/1925001 Caleb Walker, a veteran and entrepreneur, discusses his journey from military service to creating CollaboWave, a tool designed to revolutionize networking for veterans. Drawing on his military experience, including deployments to Afghanistan, Caleb highlights veterans' challenges in maintaining strong networks after service. CollaboWave addresses these hurdles by capturing and organizing essential networking information, making connections more actionable and efficient.

Caleb shares how his tool's voice-to-text capabilities streamline relationship-building for military personnel, first responders, and event attendees. He explains how CollaboWave fosters collaboration and simplifies knowledge transfer within and between organizations. Caleb's innovative tool offers practical solutions to complex problems, from aiding veterans to improving military handovers.

Listeners will gain insights into the importance of networking in professional and personal growth, strategies for making meaningful connections, and how technology can bridge gaps in communication. Caleb's passion for improving veterans' lives and strengthening their communities shines through in this engaging conversation.

05:00 - Caleb's military background and entrepreneurial journey 12:00 - How CollaboWave streamlines networking with voice-to-text 18:30 - Improving event connections and follow-ups 25:00 - Enhancing collaboration and knowledge transfer 32:00 - Applications for military, first responders, and organizations 40:00 - Tailoring CollaboWave for specific use cases

Links & Resources

Transcript

View the transcript for this episode.

]]> full 459 false Caleb Walker, a veteran and entrepreneur, discusses his journey from military service to creating CollaboWave, a tool designed to revolutionize networking for veterans. Drawing on his military experience, including deployments to Afghanistan, Caleb highlights veterans' challenges in maintaining strong networks after service. CollaboWave addresses these hurdles by capturing and organizing essential networking information, making connections more actionable and efficient.

Caleb shares how his tool's voice-to-text capabilities streamline relationship-building for military personnel, first responders, and event attendees. He explains how CollaboWave fosters collaboration and simplifies knowledge transfer within and between organizations. Caleb's innovative tool offers practical solutions to complex problems, from aiding veterans to improving military handovers.

Listeners will gain insights into the importance of networking in professional and personal growth, strategies for making meaningful connections, and how technology can bridge gaps in communication. Caleb's passion for improving veterans' lives and strengthening their communities shines through in this engaging conversation.

05:00 - Caleb's military background and entrepreneurial journey 12:00 - How CollaboWave streamlines networking with voice-to-text 18:30 - Improving event connections and follow-ups 25:00 - Enhancing collaboration and knowledge transfer 32:00 - Applications for military, first responders, and organizations 40:00 - Tailoring CollaboWave for specific use cases

Links & Resources

Transcript

View the transcript for this episode.

]]> 00:48:07 <![CDATA[Crushing Cancer: Tools and Hope for Patients]]> Thu, 23 Jan 2025 08:00:00 +0000 Scott DeLuzio https://permalink.castos.com/podcast/2296/episode/1922158 Dr. Kerry Forrestal, an emergency room physician and veteran, shares essential guidance for managing a cancer diagnosis. Drawing from years of experience in medicine and personal interactions with countless patients, Dr. Forrestal demystifies the process of navigating treatment options, understanding medical terminology, and advocating for oneself in the healthcare system. The episode also touches on how healthcare professionals can better connect with patients, the importance of mental health during treatment, and what every patient should know when facing a cancer diagnosis. This discussion offers practical, compassionate advice that empowers listeners to take control of their health journey and find hope in challenging times.

00:00:00 - Introduction and guest background

00:04:00 - Common challenges in navigating a cancer diagnosis

00:10:30 - Key questions to ask your doctor

00:15:45 - Importance of mental health in cancer treatment

00:22:20 - Advocacy tips for patients and caregivers

00:30:00 - Connecting with healthcare professionals effectively

00:38:15 - Final advice for those facing a diagnosis

Links & Resources

Transcript

View the transcript for this episode.

]]> full 458 false Dr. Kerry Forrestal, an emergency room physician and veteran, shares essential guidance for managing a cancer diagnosis. Drawing from years of experience in medicine and personal interactions with countless patients, Dr. Forrestal demystifies the process of navigating treatment options, understanding medical terminology, and advocating for oneself in the healthcare system. The episode also touches on how healthcare professionals can better connect with patients, the importance of mental health during treatment, and what every patient should know when facing a cancer diagnosis. This discussion offers practical, compassionate advice that empowers listeners to take control of their health journey and find hope in challenging times.

00:00:00 - Introduction and guest background

00:04:00 - Common challenges in navigating a cancer diagnosis

00:10:30 - Key questions to ask your doctor

00:15:45 - Importance of mental health in cancer treatment

00:22:20 - Advocacy tips for patients and caregivers

00:30:00 - Connecting with healthcare professionals effectively

00:38:15 - Final advice for those facing a diagnosis

Links & Resources

Transcript

View the transcript for this episode.

]]> 00:49:58 <![CDATA[Objective Zero Peer Support for Military Veterans]]> Tue, 21 Jan 2025 08:00:00 +0000 Scott DeLuzio https://permalink.castos.com/podcast/2296/episode/1916907 Betsey Mercado, the co-founder of Objective Zero, shares how she leverages technology to support the military and veteran communities. Objective Zero aims to combat veteran suicide by providing accessible resources and peer support through a mobile app.

02:01 Objective Zero Foundation 06:26 Peer Support Network 17:55 Privacy and Anonymity 22:28 Success Stories 27:37 Reaching Out for Help 35:42 Getting Involved with Objective Zero

Links & Resources

Transcript

View the transcript for this episode.

]]> full 457 false Betsey Mercado, the co-founder of Objective Zero, shares how she leverages technology to support the military and veteran communities. Objective Zero aims to combat veteran suicide by providing accessible resources and peer support through a mobile app.

02:01 Objective Zero Foundation 06:26 Peer Support Network 17:55 Privacy and Anonymity 22:28 Success Stories 27:37 Reaching Out for Help 35:42 Getting Involved with Objective Zero

Links & Resources

Transcript

View the transcript for this episode.

]]> 00:44:58 <![CDATA[Warrior PATHH for Post-Traumatic Growth]]> Thu, 16 Jan 2025 08:00:00 +0000 Scott DeLuzio https://permalink.castos.com/podcast/2296/episode/1916894 Discover the Warrior PATHH Program: a non-clinical approach to aiding active duty service members, veterans, and first responders in overcoming trauma through post-traumatic growth. Stephanie Weaver, the Warrior PATHH Program Manager at Camp Southern Ground, dives deep into the program's origins, methodology, benefits, and the various life-changing initiatives at Camp Southern Ground.

00:39 What is Warrior PATHH? 01:19 Post-Traumatic Growth Concept 03:19 Origin of Warrior Path 19:59 Healing Beyond Therapy: How Warrior Path Works 12:45 Analogies and Real-life Applications 27:36 Camp Southern Ground's Broader Impact 32:06 National Availability of Warrior PATHH

Links & Resources

Transcript

View the transcript for this episode.

]]> full 456 false Discover the Warrior PATHH Program: a non-clinical approach to aiding active duty service members, veterans, and first responders in overcoming trauma through post-traumatic growth. Stephanie Weaver, the Warrior PATHH Program Manager at Camp Southern Ground, dives deep into the program's origins, methodology, benefits, and the various life-changing initiatives at Camp Southern Ground.

00:39 What is Warrior PATHH? 01:19 Post-Traumatic Growth Concept 03:19 Origin of Warrior Path 19:59 Healing Beyond Therapy: How Warrior Path Works 12:45 Analogies and Real-life Applications 27:36 Camp Southern Ground's Broader Impact 32:06 National Availability of Warrior PATHH

Links & Resources

Transcript

View the transcript for this episode.

]]> 00:47:33 <![CDATA[Warriors Set Free Faith-Based Healing]]> Tue, 14 Jan 2025 08:00:00 +0000 Scott DeLuzio https://permalink.castos.com/podcast/2296/episode/1915065 Hear from Army veteran Eric Brew, Georgia Director of Warriors Set Free Ministry, as he shares his 25 years of Army experience and his unique approach to helping service members and first responders overcome life's challenges. Learn about the origin of Warriors Set Free, its mission, and the transformative power of faith in healing trauma.

00:34 Military Influencer Conference Highlights 01:32 Mission and Services of Warriors Set Free 10:11 Encouragement for Life's Crossroads 12:50 The Importance of Faith and Understanding in Healing 17:50 Practical Steps and Analogy for Simplifying Faith 25:43 Addressing Personal Traumas and Freedom Appointments 43:53 Interpersonal Connections and Overcoming Isolation 52:11 How to Get Involved with Warriors Set Free

Links & Resources

Transcript

View the transcript for this episode.

]]> full 455 false Hear from Army veteran Eric Brew, Georgia Director of Warriors Set Free Ministry, as he shares his 25 years of Army experience and his unique approach to helping service members and first responders overcome life's challenges. Learn about the origin of Warriors Set Free, its mission, and the transformative power of faith in healing trauma.

00:34 Military Influencer Conference Highlights 01:32 Mission and Services of Warriors Set Free 10:11 Encouragement for Life's Crossroads 12:50 The Importance of Faith and Understanding in Healing 17:50 Practical Steps and Analogy for Simplifying Faith 25:43 Addressing Personal Traumas and Freedom Appointments 43:53 Interpersonal Connections and Overcoming Isolation 52:11 How to Get Involved with Warriors Set Free

Links & Resources

Transcript

View the transcript for this episode.

]]> 00:55:41 <![CDATA[Wellness Techniques for Veterans]]> Thu, 09 Jan 2025 08:32:00 +0000 Scott DeLuzio https://permalink.castos.com/podcast/2296/episode/1909779 Christopher Maher, a former Navy SEAL, shares his incredible journey of overcoming immense physical, mental, and emotional stress. He describes how his childhood experiences, intense military training, and subsequent struggles with alcohol led him to develop a unique system for complete healing and integration. Maher provides valuable insights for veterans and service members on transforming stress into personal growth and well-being.

00:00 Introduction to Christopher Maher

01:39 Journey from Navy SEAL to Healing Advocate

21:55 Turning Point and Personal Transformation

34:58 Techniques and Healing Processes

50:07 Applying the Techniques and Helping Others

Links & Resources

Transcript

View the transcript for this episode.

]]> full 454 false Christopher Maher, a former Navy SEAL, shares his incredible journey of overcoming immense physical, mental, and emotional stress. He describes how his childhood experiences, intense military training, and subsequent struggles with alcohol led him to develop a unique system for complete healing and integration. Maher provides valuable insights for veterans and service members on transforming stress into personal growth and well-being.

00:00 Introduction to Christopher Maher

01:39 Journey from Navy SEAL to Healing Advocate

21:55 Turning Point and Personal Transformation

34:58 Techniques and Healing Processes

50:07 Applying the Techniques and Helping Others

Links & Resources

Transcript

View the transcript for this episode.

]]> 01:08:13 <![CDATA[Overcoming Challenges with Hip Hop]]> Tue, 07 Jan 2025 08:00:00 +0000 Scott DeLuzio https://permalink.castos.com/podcast/2296/episode/1903919 Marine Corps veteran Ryan Doerrfeld, a devoted family man and hip-hop artist, shares how he navigated through his military service, personal challenges, and journey into the music world. Hear how Ryan channels his experiences and emotions into his music, overcoming struggles with stress, anxiety, and relocation. Get insights into his creative process, life lessons, and aspirations within the veteran community.

00:00 Introduction to Ryan Doerrfeld

01:25 Military Journey and Transition

01:58 Struggles and Overcoming Challenges

19:59 Discovering Music as Therapy

20:13 Creative Process and Musical Style

32:29 Sober Living and Personal Growth

01:16:26 Veteran Support and Positive Impact

Links & Resources

Transcript

View the transcript for this episode.

]]> full 453 false Marine Corps veteran Ryan Doerrfeld, a devoted family man and hip-hop artist, shares how he navigated through his military service, personal challenges, and journey into the music world. Hear how Ryan channels his experiences and emotions into his music, overcoming struggles with stress, anxiety, and relocation. Get insights into his creative process, life lessons, and aspirations within the veteran community.

00:00 Introduction to Ryan Doerrfeld

01:25 Military Journey and Transition

01:58 Struggles and Overcoming Challenges

19:59 Discovering Music as Therapy

20:13 Creative Process and Musical Style

32:29 Sober Living and Personal Growth

01:16:26 Veteran Support and Positive Impact

Links & Resources

Transcript

View the transcript for this episode.

]]> 01:17:30 <![CDATA[Overcoming Loss through Advocacy and Service]]> Thu, 02 Jan 2025 08:00:00 +0000 Scott DeLuzio https://permalink.castos.com/podcast/2296/episode/1893933 Dive into an inspiring conversation with Aaron Hudgins, a retired first sergeant and surviving spouse of Staff Sergeant Jari J. Hudgins. Aaron's journey through 26 years of service in the Oklahoma Army National Guard, including multiple deployments and state activations, offers an insight into the sacrifices and responsibilities of military life. Discover how Aaron fulfilled his wife's dream posthumously, his pivotal role in advocacy through the Survivors Advisory Working Group, and his contributions to the Travis Manion Foundation. His candid recount of personal loss, resilience, and ongoing dedication to supporting military survivors is a testament to the enduring spirit of service members and their families.

00:00 Introduction to Aaron Hudgins 01:16 Military Service and Deployments 05:02 State Activations and Personal Reflections 20:31 The Love Lives Long Act and Survivor Advocacy 30:30 Travis Manion Foundation Involvement 38:33 Honoring His Wife's Dream 50:15 Advice for Service Members and Families 01:03:08 Call to Action and Closing

Links & Resources

Transcript

View the transcript for this episode.

]]> full 452 false Dive into an inspiring conversation with Aaron Hudgins, a retired first sergeant and surviving spouse of Staff Sergeant Jari J. Hudgins. Aaron's journey through 26 years of service in the Oklahoma Army National Guard, including multiple deployments and state activations, offers an insight into the sacrifices and responsibilities of military life. Discover how Aaron fulfilled his wife's dream posthumously, his pivotal role in advocacy through the Survivors Advisory Working Group, and his contributions to the Travis Manion Foundation. His candid recount of personal loss, resilience, and ongoing dedication to supporting military survivors is a testament to the enduring spirit of service members and their families.

00:00 Introduction to Aaron Hudgins 01:16 Military Service and Deployments 05:02 State Activations and Personal Reflections 20:31 The Love Lives Long Act and Survivor Advocacy 30:30 Travis Manion Foundation Involvement 38:33 Honoring His Wife's Dream 50:15 Advice for Service Members and Families 01:03:08 Call to Action and Closing

Links & Resources

Transcript

View the transcript for this episode.

]]> 01:04:25 <![CDATA[Discovering Peace in The Horseman's Tale]]> Tue, 31 Dec 2024 08:00:00 +0000 Scott DeLuzio https://permalink.castos.com/podcast/2296/episode/1891560 Vietnam combat pilot, author, and horse whisperer, Tom Equels, shares his journey from the battlefields of Vietnam to the therapeutic horse farms of Ocala, revealing how his experiences shaped his debut novel, 'The Horseman's Tale.'

Tom Equels' debut novel, The Horseman's Tale, was released in Fall 2024, and it's available everywhere books are sold. For more information, visit TheHorsemansTale.com or follow Tom on social media (links below).

00:00 Introduction 00:34 Tom Equels' Background 01:19 Experience in Vietnam 04:24 Choosing the Cobra Helicopter 06:36 Air Cavalry Troop 07:51 Distinguished Flying Cross 09:56 After Vietnam 15:59 Writing The Horseman's Tale 26:08 Therapeutic Value of Horses 27:07 Equestrian Therapy and PTSD 29:18 Horses' Empathetic Nature 43:29 Restoration through Love 01:00:53 Universal Truths and Forgiveness 01:07:14 Conclusion

Links & Resources

Transcript

View the transcript for this episode.

]]> full 451 false Vietnam combat pilot, author, and horse whisperer, Tom Equels, shares his journey from the battlefields of Vietnam to the therapeutic horse farms of Ocala, revealing how his experiences shaped his debut novel, 'The Horseman's Tale.'

Tom Equels' debut novel, The Horseman's Tale, was released in Fall 2024, and it's available everywhere books are sold. For more information, visit TheHorsemansTale.com or follow Tom on social media (links below).

00:00 Introduction 00:34 Tom Equels' Background 01:19 Experience in Vietnam 04:24 Choosing the Cobra Helicopter 06:36 Air Cavalry Troop 07:51 Distinguished Flying Cross 09:56 After Vietnam 15:59 Writing The Horseman's Tale 26:08 Therapeutic Value of Horses 27:07 Equestrian Therapy and PTSD 29:18 Horses' Empathetic Nature 43:29 Restoration through Love 01:00:53 Universal Truths and Forgiveness 01:07:14 Conclusion

Links & Resources

Transcript

View the transcript for this episode.

]]> 01:08:40 <![CDATA[Transition Tips from VET S.O.S.]]> Thu, 26 Dec 2024 08:00:00 +0000 Scott DeLuzio https://permalink.castos.com/podcast/2296/episode/1887047 Tune in for a conversation with Shawn Welsh, founder and co-host of the VET SOS podcast, as he shares how he supports the veteran community through military transitions and beyond. This episode is packed with invaluable resources and inspirational stories, from discussing practical tips on how veterans can navigate their return to civilian life to offering insights into his certified resiliency trainer background. Tune in to discover how to make the most of your military transition and find the right support systems to ensure a successful reintegration.

00:00 Introduction and Guest Welcome 01:58 Military Transition Focus 03:07 Personal Transition Challenges 06:47 Advice on Finding Resources 20:33 VET SOS Podcast and Tips 31:55 Delivering Valuable Information 40:33 Taking Care of Yourself First

Links & Resources

Transcript

View the transcript for this episode.

]]> full 450 false Tune in for a conversation with Shawn Welsh, founder and co-host of the VET SOS podcast, as he shares how he supports the veteran community through military transitions and beyond. This episode is packed with invaluable resources and inspirational stories, from discussing practical tips on how veterans can navigate their return to civilian life to offering insights into his certified resiliency trainer background. Tune in to discover how to make the most of your military transition and find the right support systems to ensure a successful reintegration.

00:00 Introduction and Guest Welcome 01:58 Military Transition Focus 03:07 Personal Transition Challenges 06:47 Advice on Finding Resources 20:33 VET SOS Podcast and Tips 31:55 Delivering Valuable Information 40:33 Taking Care of Yourself First

Links & Resources

Transcript

View the transcript for this episode.

]]> 00:49:06 <![CDATA[Passion and Purpose in Hunting with Spartan Forge]]> Tue, 24 Dec 2024 08:00:00 +0000 Scott DeLuzio https://permalink.castos.com/podcast/2296/episode/1878461 Dive into an inspiring conversation with Army veteran Bill Thompson, CEO and founder of Spartan Forge. Discover how his love for the outdoors and military experience led to the creation of a groundbreaking hunting app designed to enhance the hunting experience and serve as a therapeutic outlet for veterans.

00:00 Introduction to Guest

04:19 Founding Spartan Forge

12:34 Using the Spartan Forge App

23:41 LiDAR Technology and Its Benefits

38:12 Military Transition and Purpose

Links & Resources

Transcript

View the transcript for this episode.

]]> full 449 false Dive into an inspiring conversation with Army veteran Bill Thompson, CEO and founder of Spartan Forge. Discover how his love for the outdoors and military experience led to the creation of a groundbreaking hunting app designed to enhance the hunting experience and serve as a therapeutic outlet for veterans.

00:00 Introduction to Guest

04:19 Founding Spartan Forge

12:34 Using the Spartan Forge App

23:41 LiDAR Technology and Its Benefits

38:12 Military Transition and Purpose

Links & Resources

Transcript

View the transcript for this episode.

]]> 00:47:16 <![CDATA[Overcoming Fear with Faith]]> Thu, 19 Dec 2024 08:00:00 +0000 Scott DeLuzio https://permalink.castos.com/podcast/2296/episode/1873170 Join us for an enlightening conversation with retired Marine Corps Major Teddy Colgate, CEO and founder of First Coast Heroes Outreach. Dive deep into discussions on PTSD, moral injury, military transition, and the profound impact of faith over fear in finding purpose.

00:00 Introduction to Teddy Colgate 01:12 Teddy's Military Journey and Transition 01:47 Establishing First Coast Heroes Outreach 02:57 Trauma and Mental Health 17:37 Understanding Moral Injury 26:43 Personal Struggles and Recovery 41:41 Faith Over Fear

Links & Resources

Transcript

View the transcript for this episode.

]]> full 448 false Join us for an enlightening conversation with retired Marine Corps Major Teddy Colgate, CEO and founder of First Coast Heroes Outreach. Dive deep into discussions on PTSD, moral injury, military transition, and the profound impact of faith over fear in finding purpose.

00:00 Introduction to Teddy Colgate 01:12 Teddy's Military Journey and Transition 01:47 Establishing First Coast Heroes Outreach 02:57 Trauma and Mental Health 17:37 Understanding Moral Injury 26:43 Personal Struggles and Recovery 41:41 Faith Over Fear

Links & Resources

Transcript

View the transcript for this episode.

]]> 01:05:02 <![CDATA[Healing Veterans with Pin-Ups For Vets]]> Tue, 17 Dec 2024 08:00:00 +0000 Scott DeLuzio https://permalink.castos.com/podcast/2296/episode/1873148 Gina Elise, founder of Pin-Ups for Vets, takes us through her inspiring journey from the corporate world to dedicating her life to supporting veterans. She shares the origins of her organization, the unique ways it uplifts veteran morale, and the challenges, triumphs, and lasting impacts of her work. Gina also highlights the transformative effects on both the veterans and the ambassadors involved, offering hope and camaraderie through service. This episode is packed with heartfelt stories, showcasing the significant difference one person can make.

00:00 Introduction and Guest Overview 01:03 Origins of Pin-Ups for Vets 01:50 Growth and Evolution 05:12 Double Life 06:46 Challenges and Triumphs 08:08 Veteran to Veteran Connection 19:21 Impact Stories 28:24 Service After Service 33:43 Donations and Future Goals 41:26 Supporting Homeless Veterans

Links & Resources

Transcript

View the transcript for this episode.

]]> full 447 false Gina Elise, founder of Pin-Ups for Vets, takes us through her inspiring journey from the corporate world to dedicating her life to supporting veterans. She shares the origins of her organization, the unique ways it uplifts veteran morale, and the challenges, triumphs, and lasting impacts of her work. Gina also highlights the transformative effects on both the veterans and the ambassadors involved, offering hope and camaraderie through service. This episode is packed with heartfelt stories, showcasing the significant difference one person can make.

00:00 Introduction and Guest Overview 01:03 Origins of Pin-Ups for Vets 01:50 Growth and Evolution 05:12 Double Life 06:46 Challenges and Triumphs 08:08 Veteran to Veteran Connection 19:21 Impact Stories 28:24 Service After Service 33:43 Donations and Future Goals 41:26 Supporting Homeless Veterans

Links & Resources

Transcript

View the transcript for this episode.

]]> 00:57:49 <![CDATA[Non-Traditional Mental Health Solutions]]> Thu, 12 Dec 2024 08:00:00 +0000 Scott DeLuzio https://permalink.castos.com/podcast/2296/episode/1867150 Explore transformative mental health practices with Dr. Tracy Latz, an integrative psychiatrist and holistic practitioner, offering non-traditional, practical techniques to manage stress, PTSD, and mental health concerns without traditional therapy. Discover her unique insights into gut health, grounding, vibrational therapy, and the power of nature and animals in healing.

00:00 Introduction to Dr. Tracy Latz 01:26 Dr. Latz's Background and Journey 05:20 Non-Therapy Techniques for Mental Health 08:16 Vibrational Therapy and Emotional Freedom Techniques 09:55 The Healing Power of Nature and Animals 11:00 Using Earthing and Grounding for Inflammation and Relaxation 15:20 Binaural Beats and Ancient Herbal Remedies 19:22 Benefactor Meditation and Qi Gong Emotional Release

Links & Resources

Transcript

View the transcript for this episode.

]]> full 446 false Explore transformative mental health practices with Dr. Tracy Latz, an integrative psychiatrist and holistic practitioner, offering non-traditional, practical techniques to manage stress, PTSD, and mental health concerns without traditional therapy. Discover her unique insights into gut health, grounding, vibrational therapy, and the power of nature and animals in healing.

00:00 Introduction to Dr. Tracy Latz 01:26 Dr. Latz's Background and Journey 05:20 Non-Therapy Techniques for Mental Health 08:16 Vibrational Therapy and Emotional Freedom Techniques 09:55 The Healing Power of Nature and Animals 11:00 Using Earthing and Grounding for Inflammation and Relaxation 15:20 Binaural Beats and Ancient Herbal Remedies 19:22 Benefactor Meditation and Qi Gong Emotional Release

Links & Resources

Transcript

View the transcript for this episode.

]]> 00:58:47 <![CDATA[Supporting Veterans with Homefront Sitrep]]> Tue, 10 Dec 2024 08:00:00 +0000 Scott DeLuzio https://permalink.castos.com/podcast/2296/episode/1867142 In this episode, we talk with David Willis, co-host of the Homefront Sitrep podcast, about his experiences and insights into veteran support. We explore his military background, involvement in veteran charity work, and his journey in launching a podcast dedicated to veteran service organizations. Discover key challenges facing veterans today and learn how collaborative efforts and veteran-owned businesses can make a significant impact.

00:00 Introduction to Guest and Topic 01:32 David Willis - Military Background 03:21 Veteran Charity Work & Community Efforts 07:27 The Birth of the Homefront SITREP Podcast 23:22 Collaboration Among Veteran Service Organizations 42:52 How Veteran-Owned Businesses Can Help

Links & Resources

Transcript

View the transcript for this episode.

]]> full 445 false In this episode, we talk with David Willis, co-host of the Homefront Sitrep podcast, about his experiences and insights into veteran support. We explore his military background, involvement in veteran charity work, and his journey in launching a podcast dedicated to veteran service organizations. Discover key challenges facing veterans today and learn how collaborative efforts and veteran-owned businesses can make a significant impact.

00:00 Introduction to Guest and Topic 01:32 David Willis - Military Background 03:21 Veteran Charity Work & Community Efforts 07:27 The Birth of the Homefront SITREP Podcast 23:22 Collaboration Among Veteran Service Organizations 42:52 How Veteran-Owned Businesses Can Help

Links & Resources

Transcript

View the transcript for this episode.

]]> 01:02:33 <![CDATA[Transforming Lives with VetRise Academy]]> Thu, 05 Dec 2024 08:00:00 +0000 Scott DeLuzio https://permalink.castos.com/podcast/2296/episode/1865473 Hear JP Perez's powerful story of overcoming post-military struggles, finding purpose, and reinventing himself. We discuss veteran identity, the challenges of transitioning to civilian life, and the pursuit of personal growth through fitness and mental well-being.

00:00 Introduction and Guest Welcome

01:22 JP Perez's Journey Post-Military

02:30 Finding Purpose After Service

04:33 From Law Enforcement to New Ventures

11:35 Building the VetRise Academy

33:18 The Importance of Mental and Physical Fitness

41:24 JP's Tips for Veterans

51:38 Wrap-Up and Closing Thoughts

Links & Resources

Transcript

View the transcript for this episode.

]]> full 444 false Hear JP Perez's powerful story of overcoming post-military struggles, finding purpose, and reinventing himself. We discuss veteran identity, the challenges of transitioning to civilian life, and the pursuit of personal growth through fitness and mental well-being.

00:00 Introduction and Guest Welcome

01:22 JP Perez's Journey Post-Military

02:30 Finding Purpose After Service

04:33 From Law Enforcement to New Ventures

11:35 Building the VetRise Academy

33:18 The Importance of Mental and Physical Fitness

41:24 JP's Tips for Veterans

51:38 Wrap-Up and Closing Thoughts

Links & Resources

Transcript

View the transcript for this episode.

]]> 00:54:30 <![CDATA[Balancing Military and Olympic Dreams Through Faith]]> Tue, 03 Dec 2024 08:00:00 +0000 Scott DeLuzio https://permalink.castos.com/podcast/2296/episode/1865341 USMC Captain Riley Tejcek joins the show. Riley is a multifaceted individual who embodies dedication, perseverance, and faith. Listen to Riley's life as a Marine Corps Captain, her role as a bobsled pilot for Team USA, her time as Miss Military, and her work as an ambassador for Shields and Stripes. Hear how she balances her demanding roles and maintains a positive outlook despite the challenges she faces. Learn about her athletic background, the unique struggles she faces, and the unwavering faith that drives her success. Gain insights into her contributions to the military community and her inspiring impact on future generations.

00:00 Introduction 01:08 Riley's Background and Journey to the Marine Corps 03:00 Transition from Softball to Bobsledding 06:26 Balancing Marine Corps and Olympic Training 09:51 Navigating Nutritional Challenges 11:08 Marine Corps Support and Career Decisions 14:14 Miss Military Experience 25:28 Ambassador for Shields and Stripes 42:27 Overcoming Fear and Embracing Challenges 45:23 Conclusion and Parting Remarks

Links & Resources

Transcript

View the transcript for this episode.

]]> full 443 false USMC Captain Riley Tejcek joins the show. Riley is a multifaceted individual who embodies dedication, perseverance, and faith. Listen to Riley's life as a Marine Corps Captain, her role as a bobsled pilot for Team USA, her time as Miss Military, and her work as an ambassador for Shields and Stripes. Hear how she balances her demanding roles and maintains a positive outlook despite the challenges she faces. Learn about her athletic background, the unique struggles she faces, and the unwavering faith that drives her success. Gain insights into her contributions to the military community and her inspiring impact on future generations.

00:00 Introduction 01:08 Riley's Background and Journey to the Marine Corps 03:00 Transition from Softball to Bobsledding 06:26 Balancing Marine Corps and Olympic Training 09:51 Navigating Nutritional Challenges 11:08 Marine Corps Support and Career Decisions 14:14 Miss Military Experience 25:28 Ambassador for Shields and Stripes 42:27 Overcoming Fear and Embracing Challenges 45:23 Conclusion and Parting Remarks

Links & Resources

Transcript

View the transcript for this episode.

]]> 00:48:34 <![CDATA[Natural Healing Through Ayurveda]]> Thu, 28 Nov 2024 08:00:00 +0000 Scott DeLuzio https://permalink.castos.com/podcast/2296/episode/1851865 Hear how the ancient practice of Ayurveda can transform your life. Ananta Ripa Ajmera, a spiritual teacher, Ayurveda practitioner, author, and co-founder of The Ancient Way, explains its benefits for both physical and mental health. Learn about balancing your body's internal fire, the importance of seasonal routines, and practical tips for integrating Ayurveda into modern living.

00:00 Introduction to the Guest 03:11 Key Principles of Ayurveda 06:30 Ayurvedic Diet and Its Benefits 13:50 Balance and Moderation in Life 14:42 Mental Health Benefits 16:45 Simple Ayurveda Practices to Start 19:17 Incorporating Ayurveda and Yoga 38:11 Resources and Conclusion

Links & Resources

Transcript

View the transcript for this episode.

]]> full 442 false Hear how the ancient practice of Ayurveda can transform your life. Ananta Ripa Ajmera, a spiritual teacher, Ayurveda practitioner, author, and co-founder of The Ancient Way, explains its benefits for both physical and mental health. Learn about balancing your body's internal fire, the importance of seasonal routines, and practical tips for integrating Ayurveda into modern living.

00:00 Introduction to the Guest 03:11 Key Principles of Ayurveda 06:30 Ayurvedic Diet and Its Benefits 13:50 Balance and Moderation in Life 14:42 Mental Health Benefits 16:45 Simple Ayurveda Practices to Start 19:17 Incorporating Ayurveda and Yoga 38:11 Resources and Conclusion

Links & Resources

Transcript

View the transcript for this episode.

]]> 00:40:18 <![CDATA[Becoming the Hero of Your Journey]]> Tue, 26 Nov 2024 08:00:00 +0000 Scott DeLuzio https://permalink.castos.com/podcast/2296/episode/1851816 Spiritual teacher, award-winning author, and co-founder of the Ancient Way, Ananta Ripa Ajmera, shares how to become the hero of your own story through transformative insights grounded in Ayurveda, yoga, and Vedanta philosophy. Explore practical steps for embracing your inner power, tackling life's adversities, and achieving post-traumatic growth. Learn about the value of difficulties, trusting your intuition, and the power of asking for help on your spiritual journey. This episode offers a rich discussion for anyone seeking to unlock their true potential and live authentically.

00:00 Introduction to Ananta Ripa Ajmera 01:24 Defining the Hero's Journey 02:09 Facing Adversities 05:55 Overcoming Challenges 08:07 Power of Perspective and Practices 18:55 Acceptance and Transformation 25:09 Uncovering Solutions

Links & Resources

Transcript

View the transcript for this episode.

]]> full 441 false Spiritual teacher, award-winning author, and co-founder of the Ancient Way, Ananta Ripa Ajmera, shares how to become the hero of your own story through transformative insights grounded in Ayurveda, yoga, and Vedanta philosophy. Explore practical steps for embracing your inner power, tackling life's adversities, and achieving post-traumatic growth. Learn about the value of difficulties, trusting your intuition, and the power of asking for help on your spiritual journey. This episode offers a rich discussion for anyone seeking to unlock their true potential and live authentically.

00:00 Introduction to Ananta Ripa Ajmera 01:24 Defining the Hero's Journey 02:09 Facing Adversities 05:55 Overcoming Challenges 08:07 Power of Perspective and Practices 18:55 Acceptance and Transformation 25:09 Uncovering Solutions

Links & Resources

Transcript

View the transcript for this episode.

]]> 00:42:07 <![CDATA[Navy Veteran and Stranger Things Actress Shares Her Cancer Journey]]> Thu, 21 Nov 2024 08:00:00 +0000 Scott DeLuzio https://permalink.castos.com/podcast/2296/episode/1851861 Hear from Jennifer Marshall, a Navy veteran turned actress known for her roles in Stranger Things and NCIS, among others. Learn about her military service, transition into acting, and relentless advocacy work, including her role as a Pinups for Vets ambassador and her brave battle with cancer. Tune in for advice on pursuing a career in entertainment and the importance of proactive healthcare for veterans.

00:00 Introduction to Jennifer Marshall 01:51 Military Service and Transition to Acting 13:55 Challenges and Stereotypes in Hollywood 17:19 Advice for Aspiring Actors 24:16 Pinups for Vets Ambassador 30:16 Battling Cancer: A Personal Story 37:02 Proactive Healthcare for Veterans 50:13 Closing Thoughts

Links & Resources

Transcript

View the transcript for this episode.

]]> full 440 false Hear from Jennifer Marshall, a Navy veteran turned actress known for her roles in Stranger Things and NCIS, among others. Learn about her military service, transition into acting, and relentless advocacy work, including her role as a Pinups for Vets ambassador and her brave battle with cancer. Tune in for advice on pursuing a career in entertainment and the importance of proactive healthcare for veterans.

00:00 Introduction to Jennifer Marshall 01:51 Military Service and Transition to Acting 13:55 Challenges and Stereotypes in Hollywood 17:19 Advice for Aspiring Actors 24:16 Pinups for Vets Ambassador 30:16 Battling Cancer: A Personal Story 37:02 Proactive Healthcare for Veterans 50:13 Closing Thoughts

Links & Resources

Transcript

View the transcript for this episode.

]]> 00:54:25 <![CDATA[Finding Purpose After Trauma]]> Tue, 19 Nov 2024 08:00:00 +0000 Scott DeLuzio https://permalink.castos.com/podcast/2296/episode/1851779 Combat-wounded veteran Brian Fleming shares his journey from trauma to triumph, detailing how his experiences in Afghanistan shaped his mission to help others heal by sharing their stories.

00:00 Introduction and Welcome 00:25 Meet Brian Fleming 01:28 Journey through Trauma 06:12 Deployment Challenges 15:35 Finding New Purpose 29:23 Lessons Learned

Links & Resources

Transcript

View the transcript for this episode.

]]> full 439 false Combat-wounded veteran Brian Fleming shares his journey from trauma to triumph, detailing how his experiences in Afghanistan shaped his mission to help others heal by sharing their stories.

00:00 Introduction and Welcome 00:25 Meet Brian Fleming 01:28 Journey through Trauma 06:12 Deployment Challenges 15:35 Finding New Purpose 29:23 Lessons Learned

Links & Resources

Transcript

View the transcript for this episode.

]]> 00:47:51 <![CDATA[Secrets to Impactful Public Speaking]]> Thu, 14 Nov 2024 08:00:00 +0000 Scott DeLuzio https://permalink.castos.com/podcast/2296/episode/1851735 Laura Reid shares her journey from overcoming a severe stutter to becoming an international speaker, public speaking coach, and best-selling author. Her insights on storytelling and public speaking empower veterans and professionals to share their stories effectively.

00:00 Introduction to Drive On Podcast 00:23 Meet Laura Reed: Overcoming Public Speaking Fears 02:22 Laura's Journey: From Stutter to Speech Slayer 07:31 Empowering Veterans to Share Their Stories 14:57 Tips for Effective Public Speaking 17:29 Avoiding Death by PowerPoint 23:14 The Power of Storytelling in Public Speaking 23:35 Laura Reed's Book: Public Speaking Horror Show 41:13 Final Thoughts and Resources

Links & Resources

Transcript

View the transcript for this episode.

]]> full 438 false Laura Reid shares her journey from overcoming a severe stutter to becoming an international speaker, public speaking coach, and best-selling author. Her insights on storytelling and public speaking empower veterans and professionals to share their stories effectively.

00:00 Introduction to Drive On Podcast 00:23 Meet Laura Reed: Overcoming Public Speaking Fears 02:22 Laura's Journey: From Stutter to Speech Slayer 07:31 Empowering Veterans to Share Their Stories 14:57 Tips for Effective Public Speaking 17:29 Avoiding Death by PowerPoint 23:14 The Power of Storytelling in Public Speaking 23:35 Laura Reed's Book: Public Speaking Horror Show 41:13 Final Thoughts and Resources

Links & Resources

Transcript

View the transcript for this episode.

]]> 00:44:03 <![CDATA[Unheard Tales of Veterans]]> Tue, 12 Nov 2024 08:00:00 +0000 Scott DeLuzio https://permalink.castos.com/podcast/2296/episode/1835083 Hear the story of Rodger Friedman, a son of a WWII veteran, who shines a light on his father's untold WWII stories and shares insights on preserving military legacies.

00:00 Introduction 01:14 Rodger Friedman's Background 05:46 Father's Military Service 07:42 Piecing Together History 14:02 Writing as a Passion 25:38 Advice for Veterans and Families 36:54 Supporting Veterans

Links & Resources

Transcript

View the transcript for this episode.

]]> full 437 false Hear the story of Rodger Friedman, a son of a WWII veteran, who shines a light on his father's untold WWII stories and shares insights on preserving military legacies.

00:00 Introduction 01:14 Rodger Friedman's Background 05:46 Father's Military Service 07:42 Piecing Together History 14:02 Writing as a Passion 25:38 Advice for Veterans and Families 36:54 Supporting Veterans

Links & Resources

Transcript

View the transcript for this episode.

]]> 00:40:25 <![CDATA[Secrets to College Admissions Success]]> Thu, 07 Nov 2024 08:00:00 +0000 Scott DeLuzio https://permalink.castos.com/podcast/2296/episode/1835038 Hear from Shaan Patel, a recognized college and test prep expert who achieved a perfect SAT score. From his humble beginnings in a budget motel to creating Prep Expert, Shaan shares invaluable insights on college admissions, the significance of standardized tests, and leveraging military education benefits. Shaan elaborates on the revolutionary changes to the SAT and effective strategies to improve test scores, emphasizing discipline and life skills crucial for success. This episode sheds light on practical tips for students and military personnel aiming to maximize their education and career opportunities.

00:00 Introduction to Shaan Patel 01:12 The Early Years and SAT Success 03:52 Founding Prep Expert 04:55 Relevance to Military Personnel 06:46 Improving Test Scores with Prep Expert 11:58 Changes in the SAT Format 18:45 Life Skills through Test Prep 30:53 The Pomodoro Technique and Productivity 33:58 Where to Find Prep Expert

Links & Resources

Transcript

View the transcript for this episode.

]]> full 436 false Hear from Shaan Patel, a recognized college and test prep expert who achieved a perfect SAT score. From his humble beginnings in a budget motel to creating Prep Expert, Shaan shares invaluable insights on college admissions, the significance of standardized tests, and leveraging military education benefits. Shaan elaborates on the revolutionary changes to the SAT and effective strategies to improve test scores, emphasizing discipline and life skills crucial for success. This episode sheds light on practical tips for students and military personnel aiming to maximize their education and career opportunities.

00:00 Introduction to Shaan Patel 01:12 The Early Years and SAT Success 03:52 Founding Prep Expert 04:55 Relevance to Military Personnel 06:46 Improving Test Scores with Prep Expert 11:58 Changes in the SAT Format 18:45 Life Skills through Test Prep 30:53 The Pomodoro Technique and Productivity 33:58 Where to Find Prep Expert

Links & Resources

Transcript

View the transcript for this episode.

]]> 00:35:19 <![CDATA[The Realities of War and Personal Growth]]> Tue, 05 Nov 2024 08:00:00 +0000 Scott DeLuzio https://permalink.castos.com/podcast/2296/episode/1835009 Explore the powerful narrative of a former Marine infantryman, Stew Blackwell, as he discusses his experiences in combat, his personal development journey, and the lasting impact of war. This episode provides a raw and candid view of military culture, leadership, and the emotional complexities surrounding 9/11 and the Global War on Terror.

Links & Resources

Transcript

View the transcript for this episode.

]]> full 435 false Explore the powerful narrative of a former Marine infantryman, Stew Blackwell, as he discusses his experiences in combat, his personal development journey, and the lasting impact of war. This episode provides a raw and candid view of military culture, leadership, and the emotional complexities surrounding 9/11 and the Global War on Terror.

Links & Resources

Transcript

View the transcript for this episode.

]]> 01:08:16 <![CDATA[Dianetics Therapy for Veterans]]> Thu, 31 Oct 2024 08:00:00 +0000 Scott DeLuzio https://permalink.castos.com/podcast/2296/episode/1830791 A deep dive into the mental health crisis among veterans and an alternative therapeutic approach using Dianetics with Chris Owens, Executive Director of the Restored Valor Project.

00:00 Introduction and Welcome

01:03 Chris Owens' Background and Journey into Dianetics

01:43 Explaining Dianetics

05:57 Dianetics Techniques and Their Unique Aspects

28:16 Addressing the Reactive Mind and Engrams

36:24 Physical and Emotional Pain in Dianetics

Links & Resources

Transcript

View the transcript for this episode.

]]> full 434 false A deep dive into the mental health crisis among veterans and an alternative therapeutic approach using Dianetics with Chris Owens, Executive Director of the Restored Valor Project.

00:00 Introduction and Welcome

01:03 Chris Owens' Background and Journey into Dianetics

01:43 Explaining Dianetics

05:57 Dianetics Techniques and Their Unique Aspects

28:16 Addressing the Reactive Mind and Engrams

36:24 Physical and Emotional Pain in Dianetics

Links & Resources

Transcript

View the transcript for this episode.

]]> 00:52:42 <![CDATA[Healing Unspoken Veteran Trauma]]> Tue, 29 Oct 2024 08:00:00 +0000 Scott DeLuzio https://permalink.castos.com/podcast/2296/episode/1829955 Dive into the unspoken traumas faced by veterans with USMC veteran Garret Biss. This episode sheds light on the often-overlooked psychological struggles that many veterans endure and explores ways to address and manage these invisible wounds. As a staunch advocate for veteran mental health, Garret shares his insights and personal experiences, offering hope and practical advice to veterans and their families.

Links & Resources

Transcript

View the transcript for this episode.

]]> full 433 false Dive into the unspoken traumas faced by veterans with USMC veteran Garret Biss. This episode sheds light on the often-overlooked psychological struggles that many veterans endure and explores ways to address and manage these invisible wounds. As a staunch advocate for veteran mental health, Garret shares his insights and personal experiences, offering hope and practical advice to veterans and their families.

Links & Resources

Transcript

View the transcript for this episode.

]]> 00:53:33 <![CDATA[Fishing for Recreational Therapy]]> Thu, 24 Oct 2024 08:00:00 +0000 Scott DeLuzio https://permalink.castos.com/podcast/2296/episode/1829029 Join retired Air Force Colonel Neil Mullaney as he shares his journey from military service to becoming an advocate for veterans' mental health and wellness. Dive into his transformative experiences, leadership insights, and the incredible work being done by Heroes on the Water, an organization promoting therapeutic benefits through kayak fishing.

00:00 Introduction to Neil Mullaney

01:13 Background and Military Service

14:39 Challenges in Transitioning to Civilian Life

27:16 The Mission of Heroes on the Water

32:34 Two Program Structures

46:38 Final Thoughts and How to Get Involved

Links & Resources

Transcript

View the transcript for this episode.

]]> full 432 false Join retired Air Force Colonel Neil Mullaney as he shares his journey from military service to becoming an advocate for veterans' mental health and wellness. Dive into his transformative experiences, leadership insights, and the incredible work being done by Heroes on the Water, an organization promoting therapeutic benefits through kayak fishing.

00:00 Introduction to Neil Mullaney

01:13 Background and Military Service

14:39 Challenges in Transitioning to Civilian Life

27:16 The Mission of Heroes on the Water

32:34 Two Program Structures

46:38 Final Thoughts and How to Get Involved

Links & Resources

Transcript

View the transcript for this episode.

]]> 00:51:10 <![CDATA[Empowering Men for Success]]> Tue, 22 Oct 2024 08:00:00 +0000 Scott DeLuzio https://permalink.castos.com/podcast/2296/episode/1828375 This episode features George Hayworth, an Army veteran and founder of Elite Sentinel Coaching, who shares his journey from military service to becoming a successful coach. George provides insights into the challenges veterans face when transitioning to civilian life. He discusses the importance of brotherhood, leadership, and authentic masculinity in personal development. Learn how his 12-week program helps men build confidence, improve relationships, and achieve exponential growth in various aspects of their lives.

00:00 Introduction: Meet George Hayworth 01:02 Military Service and Lessons Learned 05:53 Challenges in Military Transition 06:33 The Power of Brotherhood and Leadership 20:28 Importance of Network and Continuous Growth 42:26 The 12-Week Program Breakdown

Links & Resources

Transcript

View the transcript for this episode.

]]> full 431 false This episode features George Hayworth, an Army veteran and founder of Elite Sentinel Coaching, who shares his journey from military service to becoming a successful coach. George provides insights into the challenges veterans face when transitioning to civilian life. He discusses the importance of brotherhood, leadership, and authentic masculinity in personal development. Learn how his 12-week program helps men build confidence, improve relationships, and achieve exponential growth in various aspects of their lives.

00:00 Introduction: Meet George Hayworth 01:02 Military Service and Lessons Learned 05:53 Challenges in Military Transition 06:33 The Power of Brotherhood and Leadership 20:28 Importance of Network and Continuous Growth 42:26 The 12-Week Program Breakdown

Links & Resources

Transcript

View the transcript for this episode.

]]> 00:59:15 <![CDATA[Healing Through Generational Trauma]]> Thu, 17 Oct 2024 08:00:00 +0000 Scott DeLuzio https://permalink.castos.com/podcast/2296/episode/1827622 Listen to Becky Ellis discuss her memoir 'Little Avalanches,' and the often untold experiences of families with combat veterans. Discover how intergenerational trauma shapes lives and learn the importance of difficult yet healing conversations within families.

00:00 Introduction to Today's Guest - Becky Ellis 01:42 Surviving a Combat Veteran's Childhood 05:13 Intergenerational Trauma and Silencing 06:43 Breaking the Silence 10:24 Facing the Past - A Father's Awakening 13:59 Conversations with Children 21:08 How-to: Initiating Tough Conversations 28:22 The Healing Journey Begins 31:01 Transformation and the Veteran's Identity 34:39 Book Insight: Little Avalanches 45:29 Connecting for Future Generations

Links & Resources

Transcript

View the transcript for this episode.

]]> full 430 false Listen to Becky Ellis discuss her memoir 'Little Avalanches,' and the often untold experiences of families with combat veterans. Discover how intergenerational trauma shapes lives and learn the importance of difficult yet healing conversations within families.

00:00 Introduction to Today's Guest - Becky Ellis 01:42 Surviving a Combat Veteran's Childhood 05:13 Intergenerational Trauma and Silencing 06:43 Breaking the Silence 10:24 Facing the Past - A Father's Awakening 13:59 Conversations with Children 21:08 How-to: Initiating Tough Conversations 28:22 The Healing Journey Begins 31:01 Transformation and the Veteran's Identity 34:39 Book Insight: Little Avalanches 45:29 Connecting for Future Generations

Links & Resources

Transcript

View the transcript for this episode.

]]> 00:50:58 <![CDATA[Rewiring Your Brain for Resilience]]> Tue, 15 Oct 2024 08:00:00 +0000 Scott DeLuzio https://permalink.castos.com/podcast/2296/episode/1825403 Explore the intricacies of resilience, stress management, and personal transformation with Dr. Stephen Sideroff, renowned psychologist and author of "The Nine Pillars of Resilience." In this episode, we look into practical strategies for mastering stress, fostering a growth mindset, and achieving emotional and mental balance. This episode is perfect for veterans, active-duty military personnel, and anyone seeking to navigate the pressures of daily life with strength and vitality.

00:00 Introduction and Guest Background 09:49 Military and Veteran-Specific Challenges 12:39 Cognitive Response and Reframing Stress 16:04 Desensitization and Reversing Conditioning 45:34 Building Effective Support Networks 55:01 Final Thoughts and Key Takeaways

Links & Resources

Transcript

View the transcript for this episode.

]]> full 429 false Explore the intricacies of resilience, stress management, and personal transformation with Dr. Stephen Sideroff, renowned psychologist and author of "The Nine Pillars of Resilience." In this episode, we look into practical strategies for mastering stress, fostering a growth mindset, and achieving emotional and mental balance. This episode is perfect for veterans, active-duty military personnel, and anyone seeking to navigate the pressures of daily life with strength and vitality.

00:00 Introduction and Guest Background 09:49 Military and Veteran-Specific Challenges 12:39 Cognitive Response and Reframing Stress 16:04 Desensitization and Reversing Conditioning 45:34 Building Effective Support Networks 55:01 Final Thoughts and Key Takeaways

Links & Resources

Transcript

View the transcript for this episode.

]]> 00:59:26 <![CDATA[Finding Strength in Adversity]]> Thu, 10 Oct 2024 08:00:00 +0000 Scott DeLuzio https://permalink.castos.com/podcast/2296/episode/1819908 Aaron Gray, a podcaster, mindset mentor, and personal development expert, shares his journey of overcoming personal tragedy and transforming trauma into a mission to help others. This episode looks into Aaron's life-altering experience of losing his child, coping with immense personal challenges, and emerging stronger through holistic wellness practices. Listeners gain practical insights into developing a resilient mindset, the importance of community, and actionable steps to begin their own paths to recovery and personal growth.

00:00 Introduction to Guest and Topics 01:11 Aaron's Personal Journey 08:17 Navigating Through Trauma 19:30 Building Positive Habits 41:49 Community and Support Networks 47:03 Promoting Positivity 56:49 Aaron's Podcast Information

Links & Resources

Transcript

View the transcript for this episode.

]]> full 428 false Aaron Gray, a podcaster, mindset mentor, and personal development expert, shares his journey of overcoming personal tragedy and transforming trauma into a mission to help others. This episode looks into Aaron's life-altering experience of losing his child, coping with immense personal challenges, and emerging stronger through holistic wellness practices. Listeners gain practical insights into developing a resilient mindset, the importance of community, and actionable steps to begin their own paths to recovery and personal growth.

00:00 Introduction to Guest and Topics 01:11 Aaron's Personal Journey 08:17 Navigating Through Trauma 19:30 Building Positive Habits 41:49 Community and Support Networks 47:03 Promoting Positivity 56:49 Aaron's Podcast Information

Links & Resources

Transcript

View the transcript for this episode.

]]> 00:59:34 <![CDATA[Service Dogs Saving Veterans]]> Tue, 08 Oct 2024 08:00:00 +0000 Scott DeLuzio https://permalink.castos.com/podcast/2296/episode/1819208 Join Bart Sherwood, founder of Train a Dog, Save a Warrior, as he discusses the power of service dogs for veterans. Learn how personalized training methods provide essential support to those with PTSD, anxiety, and other service-related conditions. Discover why directly involving veterans in training their dogs builds a unique, life-saving bond. Hear compelling insights on destigmatizing medical conditions, the chemical science behind dog alerts, and the emotional stories of lives saved. This episode discusses the significant impact a service dog can have on veterans' quality of life and how the program is breaking barriers to making service dogs accessible to all.

00:00 Introduction to Bart Sherwood and Train a Dog, Save a Warrior 03:11 The Unique Participant Trained Service Dog Program 03:36 Service Dog Training Methods and Benefits 15:38 Emotional and Chemical Impact of Service Dogs 38:54 How to Get Involved and Support the Program 55:35 Closing Remarks and Inspirational Stories

Links & Resources

Transcript

View the transcript for this episode.

]]> full 427 false Join Bart Sherwood, founder of Train a Dog, Save a Warrior, as he discusses the power of service dogs for veterans. Learn how personalized training methods provide essential support to those with PTSD, anxiety, and other service-related conditions. Discover why directly involving veterans in training their dogs builds a unique, life-saving bond. Hear compelling insights on destigmatizing medical conditions, the chemical science behind dog alerts, and the emotional stories of lives saved. This episode discusses the significant impact a service dog can have on veterans' quality of life and how the program is breaking barriers to making service dogs accessible to all.

00:00 Introduction to Bart Sherwood and Train a Dog, Save a Warrior 03:11 The Unique Participant Trained Service Dog Program 03:36 Service Dog Training Methods and Benefits 15:38 Emotional and Chemical Impact of Service Dogs 38:54 How to Get Involved and Support the Program 55:35 Closing Remarks and Inspirational Stories

Links & Resources

Transcript

View the transcript for this episode.

]]> 00:56:01 <![CDATA[Rally 4 Vets Healing Through Racing]]> Thu, 03 Oct 2024 08:00:00 +0000 Scott DeLuzio https://permalink.castos.com/podcast/2296/episode/1813332 Explore how Robert Hess, an Army veteran, turned his post-military career into a mission for veteran support. After founding the Disabled Veteran Empowerment Network (DVEN) and Rally 4 Vets, Hess offers unique resources and support for veterans dealing with PTSD and other challenges.

00:00 Introduction and Welcome 00:21 Robert Hess's Background 01:38 The Drive On Motto 03:11 Founding of DVEN and Rally for Vets 05:01 ProstateTracker and Cancer Advocacy 09:56 Engagement with PTSD 10:10 Mission of DVEN 16:30 Introduction to Rally for Vets 19:31 Event Format and Goals 33:13 Upcoming Events and Vision 36:19 Connecting Veterans and Raising Awareness 48:02 Closing and How to Support

Links & Resources

Transcript

View the transcript for this episode.

]]> full 426 false Explore how Robert Hess, an Army veteran, turned his post-military career into a mission for veteran support. After founding the Disabled Veteran Empowerment Network (DVEN) and Rally 4 Vets, Hess offers unique resources and support for veterans dealing with PTSD and other challenges.

00:00 Introduction and Welcome 00:21 Robert Hess's Background 01:38 The Drive On Motto 03:11 Founding of DVEN and Rally for Vets 05:01 ProstateTracker and Cancer Advocacy 09:56 Engagement with PTSD 10:10 Mission of DVEN 16:30 Introduction to Rally for Vets 19:31 Event Format and Goals 33:13 Upcoming Events and Vision 36:19 Connecting Veterans and Raising Awareness 48:02 Closing and How to Support

Links & Resources

Transcript

View the transcript for this episode.

]]> 00:49:32 <![CDATA[Veterans Getting Fit AF]]> Tue, 01 Oct 2024 08:00:00 +0000 Scott DeLuzio https://permalink.castos.com/podcast/2296/episode/1812159 Dave Morrow, a dedicated Canadian veteran, fitness advocate, and host of the Hard to Kill Podcast, returns with invaluable insights on physical and mental well-being. Discover how Dave's personal journey through injury and recovery led to the creation of a supportive fitness and health community aimed at empowering veterans. Learn practical strategies for achieving consistency in fitness routines, nutrition, and overall health, tailored specifically for veterans struggling with injuries and lifestyle changes. Uncover the secrets behind turning simple daily habits into life-changing routines and get a sneak peek into Dave's upcoming book, which promises to be a field manual for veteran fitness. Dive into an engaging conversation filled with expert advice, personal anecdotes, and actionable tips that will guide and support you on your journey to becoming fitter, healthier, and harder to kill.

00:00 Introduction to Dave Morrow 02:57 The Nimble Warrior and Coaching Success 04:57 Founding of the Health and Fitness Community 12:10 Simple Fitness Principles 12:58 Addressing Veteran Health Issues 36:57 Metabolism and Weight Loss Myths 43:01 Upcoming Book and Expert Insights

Links & Resources

Transcript

View the transcript for this episode.

]]> full 425 false Dave Morrow, a dedicated Canadian veteran, fitness advocate, and host of the Hard to Kill Podcast, returns with invaluable insights on physical and mental well-being. Discover how Dave's personal journey through injury and recovery led to the creation of a supportive fitness and health community aimed at empowering veterans. Learn practical strategies for achieving consistency in fitness routines, nutrition, and overall health, tailored specifically for veterans struggling with injuries and lifestyle changes. Uncover the secrets behind turning simple daily habits into life-changing routines and get a sneak peek into Dave's upcoming book, which promises to be a field manual for veteran fitness. Dive into an engaging conversation filled with expert advice, personal anecdotes, and actionable tips that will guide and support you on your journey to becoming fitter, healthier, and harder to kill.

00:00 Introduction to Dave Morrow 02:57 The Nimble Warrior and Coaching Success 04:57 Founding of the Health and Fitness Community 12:10 Simple Fitness Principles 12:58 Addressing Veteran Health Issues 36:57 Metabolism and Weight Loss Myths 43:01 Upcoming Book and Expert Insights

Links & Resources

Transcript

View the transcript for this episode.

]]> 01:05:48 <![CDATA[Empowering Veteran Entrepreneurs]]> Thu, 26 Sep 2024 08:00:00 +0000 Scott DeLuzio https://permalink.castos.com/podcast/2296/episode/1810598 Army veteran Adam Peters found his purpose in helping other veterans through entrepreneurship. From humble beginnings in rural Indiana to founding the Strategic Veteran Podcast, Adam shares his transition story, the challenges he faced, and the systems he built to support his mission. This episode is packed with actionable insights on veteran entrepreneurship, the importance of community, and the mindset needed to succeed.

00:00 Introduction to Adam Peters and His Work

01:49 Adam's Background and Military Service

02:44 The Transition Hole and Early Ventures

03:57 Discovering Purpose through Ayahuasca Retreat

04:38 The Strategic Veteran Podcast Journey

11:19 Advice for Aspiring Veteran Entrepreneurs

27:03 Challenges and Sacrifices in Entrepreneurship

32:13 Building Systems and Processes for Success

43:31 The Stronghold Community Initiative

01:05:49 Closing Thoughts and Resources

Links & Resources

Transcript

View the transcript for this episode.

]]> full 424 false Army veteran Adam Peters found his purpose in helping other veterans through entrepreneurship. From humble beginnings in rural Indiana to founding the Strategic Veteran Podcast, Adam shares his transition story, the challenges he faced, and the systems he built to support his mission. This episode is packed with actionable insights on veteran entrepreneurship, the importance of community, and the mindset needed to succeed.

00:00 Introduction to Adam Peters and His Work

01:49 Adam's Background and Military Service

02:44 The Transition Hole and Early Ventures

03:57 Discovering Purpose through Ayahuasca Retreat

04:38 The Strategic Veteran Podcast Journey

11:19 Advice for Aspiring Veteran Entrepreneurs

27:03 Challenges and Sacrifices in Entrepreneurship

32:13 Building Systems and Processes for Success

43:31 The Stronghold Community Initiative

01:05:49 Closing Thoughts and Resources

Links & Resources

Transcript

View the transcript for this episode.

]]> 01:09:22 <![CDATA[Bringing the Fallen Home]]> Tue, 24 Sep 2024 08:00:00 +0000 Scott DeLuzio https://permalink.castos.com/podcast/2296/episode/1804694 Join the conversation with retired Air Force Lieutenant Colonel Les Carroll, an award-winning military journalist, documentary filmmaker, and author who shares his riveting experiences and heartfelt stories. From serving at Dover Air Force Base and supporting the return of fallen service members to his deployments in Afghanistan, Carroll talks about the moments that shaped his career and inspired his creative works, including his novel, 'This Troubled Ground,' and the documentary 'Bringing the Fallen Home.' Dive deep into the emotional, logistical, and human aspects of military service and the poignant tales of those who serve and their families.

00:00 Introduction and Guest Background 01:16 Work at Dover Air Force Base 02:10 Military Career and Deployments 04:28 Inspirations and Experiences 20:55 Project Contributions: Bringing the Fallen Home 22:14 Legacy and Impactful Work 33:20 The Importance of Veteran Stories 56:11 Lighter Note 55:53 Closing Remarks

Links & Resources

Transcript

View the transcript for this episode.

]]> full 423 false Join the conversation with retired Air Force Lieutenant Colonel Les Carroll, an award-winning military journalist, documentary filmmaker, and author who shares his riveting experiences and heartfelt stories. From serving at Dover Air Force Base and supporting the return of fallen service members to his deployments in Afghanistan, Carroll talks about the moments that shaped his career and inspired his creative works, including his novel, 'This Troubled Ground,' and the documentary 'Bringing the Fallen Home.' Dive deep into the emotional, logistical, and human aspects of military service and the poignant tales of those who serve and their families.

00:00 Introduction and Guest Background 01:16 Work at Dover Air Force Base 02:10 Military Career and Deployments 04:28 Inspirations and Experiences 20:55 Project Contributions: Bringing the Fallen Home 22:14 Legacy and Impactful Work 33:20 The Importance of Veteran Stories 56:11 Lighter Note 55:53 Closing Remarks

Links & Resources

Transcript

View the transcript for this episode.

]]> 01:03:20 <![CDATA[Turning Loss into Inspiration]]> Thu, 19 Sep 2024 08:00:00 +0000 Scott DeLuzio https://permalink.castos.com/podcast/2296/episode/1796883 Don Culp, a recently retired Army veteran with a broad and diverse career, shares his inspiring journey, the challenges he faced, and his mission through the Braylon Aubrey Foundation, established in memory of his daughter. Explore the intersection of his military career and personal life, and the foundation's impact on children with impairing conditions.

00:00 Introduction to Don Culp 02:27 Don Culp's Military Journey 27:13 Foundation Activities 31:24 Building Special Needs Playgrounds 45:14 Get Involved

Links & Resources

Transcript

View the transcript for this episode.

]]> full 422 false Don Culp, a recently retired Army veteran with a broad and diverse career, shares his inspiring journey, the challenges he faced, and his mission through the Braylon Aubrey Foundation, established in memory of his daughter. Explore the intersection of his military career and personal life, and the foundation's impact on children with impairing conditions.

00:00 Introduction to Don Culp 02:27 Don Culp's Military Journey 27:13 Foundation Activities 31:24 Building Special Needs Playgrounds 45:14 Get Involved

Links & Resources

Transcript

View the transcript for this episode.

]]> 00:49:10 <![CDATA[Raw Resilience and Overcoming Adversity]]> Tue, 17 Sep 2024 08:00:00 +0000 Scott DeLuzio https://permalink.castos.com/podcast/2296/episode/1793266 An inspirational journey of survival, resilience, and overcoming the toughest challenges life can throw at you. From a combat-wounded amputee to a motivational speaker and endurance athlete, Rich Ingram's story is a testament to the human spirit's ability to persevere against all odds.

00:00 Introduction 00:25 Guest Introduction: Rich Ingram 08:50 Concept of Raw Resilience 09:51 Handling Setbacks 16:11 Finding Purpose and Moving Forward 30:14 Military Journey Continues 30:46 Rich's Return to the Military 37:14 Message to Fellow Veterans

Links & Resources

Transcript

View the transcript for this episode.

]]> full 421 false An inspirational journey of survival, resilience, and overcoming the toughest challenges life can throw at you. From a combat-wounded amputee to a motivational speaker and endurance athlete, Rich Ingram's story is a testament to the human spirit's ability to persevere against all odds.

00:00 Introduction 00:25 Guest Introduction: Rich Ingram 08:50 Concept of Raw Resilience 09:51 Handling Setbacks 16:11 Finding Purpose and Moving Forward 30:14 Military Journey Continues 30:46 Rich's Return to the Military 37:14 Message to Fellow Veterans

Links & Resources

Transcript

View the transcript for this episode.

]]> 00:49:32 <![CDATA[Veteran Entrepreneur's Real Estate Journey]]> Thu, 12 Sep 2024 08:00:00 +0000 Scott DeLuzio https://permalink.castos.com/podcast/2296/episode/1793251 Jeremy Bourgeois, a Marine Corps veteran turned real estate investor, shares his journey from military service to entrepreneurship. Discover the challenges and rewards of the real estate market, insights on becoming a successful real estate investor, and advice for veterans looking to transition into this field. Learn about hassle-free home selling solutions and what to consider when selling your home quickly.

00:00 Introduction to Jeremy Bourgeois 01:12 Jeremy's Military Background and Transition 02:33 Entrepreneurship and Real Estate Insight 04:25 The Draw of Real Estate Investment 10:12 Navigating the Real Estate Market as a Newcomer 11:19 Scout Peak and Unique Selling Propositions 13:36 Process of Evaluating and Renovating Properties 22:23 Advising Veterans on Entering Real Estate 29:36 Quick Home Selling Solutions for Military Families 30:28 Finding Trustworthy Home Buying Companies

Links & Resources

Transcript

View the transcript for this episode.

]]> full 420 false Jeremy Bourgeois, a Marine Corps veteran turned real estate investor, shares his journey from military service to entrepreneurship. Discover the challenges and rewards of the real estate market, insights on becoming a successful real estate investor, and advice for veterans looking to transition into this field. Learn about hassle-free home selling solutions and what to consider when selling your home quickly.

00:00 Introduction to Jeremy Bourgeois 01:12 Jeremy's Military Background and Transition 02:33 Entrepreneurship and Real Estate Insight 04:25 The Draw of Real Estate Investment 10:12 Navigating the Real Estate Market as a Newcomer 11:19 Scout Peak and Unique Selling Propositions 13:36 Process of Evaluating and Renovating Properties 22:23 Advising Veterans on Entering Real Estate 29:36 Quick Home Selling Solutions for Military Families 30:28 Finding Trustworthy Home Buying Companies

Links & Resources

Transcript

View the transcript for this episode.

]]> 00:46:53 <![CDATA[Mastering Emotions with Mindfulness]]> Tue, 10 Sep 2024 08:00:00 +0000 Scott DeLuzio https://permalink.castos.com/podcast/2296/episode/1793242 Learn how yoga and meditation can benefit your mental health with Air Force veteran and yoga instructor David Romero. From personal journeys to expert advice, dive deep into the holistic practices that promote emotional and physical wellness.

00:00 Introduction 01:33 David Romero's Journey 05:24 Overcoming Challenges Post-Military 10:21 Situational Awareness in Yoga 14:33 Core Aspects of Yoga 28:23 Combining Yoga with Traditional Workouts 34:48 The Role of Sound Baths 48:44 Advice for Beginners 52:55 Closing Thoughts

Links & Resources

Transcript

View the transcript for this episode.

]]> full 419 false Learn how yoga and meditation can benefit your mental health with Air Force veteran and yoga instructor David Romero. From personal journeys to expert advice, dive deep into the holistic practices that promote emotional and physical wellness.

00:00 Introduction 01:33 David Romero's Journey 05:24 Overcoming Challenges Post-Military 10:21 Situational Awareness in Yoga 14:33 Core Aspects of Yoga 28:23 Combining Yoga with Traditional Workouts 34:48 The Role of Sound Baths 48:44 Advice for Beginners 52:55 Closing Thoughts

Links & Resources

Transcript

View the transcript for this episode.

]]> 01:03:08 <![CDATA[Healing Wounds with Creativity]]> Thu, 05 Sep 2024 08:00:00 +0000 Scott DeLuzio https://permalink.castos.com/podcast/2296/episode/1793236 Explore the journey of Geoffrey Bowton, an army veteran turned artist who used his passion for art to cope with the challenges of military life. From deployments in Iraq and Afghanistan to his unique artistic process that helps other veterans, Geoffrey sheds light on the therapeutic benefits of art. Discover how creativity can serve as a powerful tool for mental health and healing.

00:00 Introduction 00:21 Guest Introduction: Geoffrey Bowton 02:13 Geoffrey's Path to the Army 06:02 Discovering Art in the Military 14:58 Post-Service Challenges 48:33 Current Projects and Impact

Links & Resources

Transcript

View the transcript for this episode.

]]> full 418 false Explore the journey of Geoffrey Bowton, an army veteran turned artist who used his passion for art to cope with the challenges of military life. From deployments in Iraq and Afghanistan to his unique artistic process that helps other veterans, Geoffrey sheds light on the therapeutic benefits of art. Discover how creativity can serve as a powerful tool for mental health and healing.

00:00 Introduction 00:21 Guest Introduction: Geoffrey Bowton 02:13 Geoffrey's Path to the Army 06:02 Discovering Art in the Military 14:58 Post-Service Challenges 48:33 Current Projects and Impact

Links & Resources

Transcript

View the transcript for this episode.

]]> 00:57:06 <![CDATA[Unleashing Your Full Potential]]> Tue, 03 Sep 2024 08:00:00 +0000 Scott DeLuzio https://permalink.castos.com/podcast/2296/episode/1789660 Seth Gehle, a veteran and expert in leadership and personal development, shares his inspiring journey from a challenging childhood to a successful post-military career. Seth offers advice on overcoming obstacles, making the transition to civilian life, and the importance of continuous self-improvement. He also discusses his new focus on victim advocacy and his ultra-marathon experiences, highlighting his drive to break free from mediocrity and achieve remarkable accomplishments. This episode is a must-listen for anyone seeking motivation and practical personal and professional growth tips.

00:00 Introduction to Seth Gehle 02:21 Seth's Background and Military Experience 04:35 Transitioning to Civilian Life 10:20 Leadership Insights 23:49 Personal Development and Mental Health 46:06 Challenges and Accomplishments 57:59 Wrap-Up and Contact Information

Links & Resources

Transcript

View the transcript for this episode.

]]> full 417 false Seth Gehle, a veteran and expert in leadership and personal development, shares his inspiring journey from a challenging childhood to a successful post-military career. Seth offers advice on overcoming obstacles, making the transition to civilian life, and the importance of continuous self-improvement. He also discusses his new focus on victim advocacy and his ultra-marathon experiences, highlighting his drive to break free from mediocrity and achieve remarkable accomplishments. This episode is a must-listen for anyone seeking motivation and practical personal and professional growth tips.

00:00 Introduction to Seth Gehle 02:21 Seth's Background and Military Experience 04:35 Transitioning to Civilian Life 10:20 Leadership Insights 23:49 Personal Development and Mental Health 46:06 Challenges and Accomplishments 57:59 Wrap-Up and Contact Information

Links & Resources

Transcript

View the transcript for this episode.

]]> 01:01:32 <![CDATA[Finding Your Happy Place]]> Thu, 29 Aug 2024 08:00:00 +0000 Scott DeLuzio https://permalink.castos.com/podcast/2296/episode/1787027 Dr. Gary Sprouse, also known as the Less Stress Doc, joins the show to reveal insights on stress management, PTSD, and achieving a happier life. Sprouse discusses his innovative techniques and how they can guide you to your happy place, as outlined in his book "Highway to Your Happy Place: A Roadmap to Less Stress." This episode navigates through defining and overcoming worry, practical stress reduction methods, and the impact of traumatic experiences on mental health. Discover actionable steps and personalized advice to help you regain control, find fulfillment, and lead a less stressed life.

Listeners will walk away with a newfound understanding of stress management and practical tools to lead a happier, healthier life. Whether you're dealing with daily stress or more significant emotional traumas, Dr. Sprouse's expertise offers valuable guidance and hope.

Links & Resources

Transcript

View the transcript for this episode.

]]> full 416 false Dr. Gary Sprouse, also known as the Less Stress Doc, joins the show to reveal insights on stress management, PTSD, and achieving a happier life. Sprouse discusses his innovative techniques and how they can guide you to your happy place, as outlined in his book "Highway to Your Happy Place: A Roadmap to Less Stress." This episode navigates through defining and overcoming worry, practical stress reduction methods, and the impact of traumatic experiences on mental health. Discover actionable steps and personalized advice to help you regain control, find fulfillment, and lead a less stressed life.

Listeners will walk away with a newfound understanding of stress management and practical tools to lead a happier, healthier life. Whether you're dealing with daily stress or more significant emotional traumas, Dr. Sprouse's expertise offers valuable guidance and hope.

Links & Resources

Transcript

View the transcript for this episode.

]]> 00:54:11 <![CDATA[Mighty Oaks Foundation's Faith-Based Healing]]> Tue, 27 Aug 2024 08:00:00 +0000 Scott DeLuzio https://permalink.castos.com/podcast/2296/episode/1785937 An inspiring discussion with Jeremy Stalnecker, a former Marine Corps infantry officer and the executive director of the Mighty Oaks Foundation, about his path from military service to helping veterans overcome PTSD and lead purposeful lives.

00:00 Introduction and Welcome 01:10 Jeremy's Military Journey 11:46 Leadership as a Lifelong Skill 20:12 Peer-to-Peer Support 37:05 Hope and Responsibility 43:58 Final Thoughts on Moving Forward

Links & Resources

Transcript

View the transcript for this episode.

]]> full 415 false An inspiring discussion with Jeremy Stalnecker, a former Marine Corps infantry officer and the executive director of the Mighty Oaks Foundation, about his path from military service to helping veterans overcome PTSD and lead purposeful lives.

00:00 Introduction and Welcome 01:10 Jeremy's Military Journey 11:46 Leadership as a Lifelong Skill 20:12 Peer-to-Peer Support 37:05 Hope and Responsibility 43:58 Final Thoughts on Moving Forward

Links & Resources

Transcript

View the transcript for this episode.

]]> 00:55:09 <![CDATA[Discovering Your Extreme Dream]]> Thu, 22 Aug 2024 08:00:00 +0000 Scott DeLuzio https://permalink.castos.com/podcast/2296/episode/1785919 This episode features Charlynne Boddie, an inspiration as she assists others in overcoming extreme challenges. Learn about her unique approach to empowering individuals through her 'Xtreme Dream' Seminar. Discover the impact she has made on many lives and why her methods are a must-listen for anyone seeking motivation and tools for personal growth.

Links & Resources

Transcript

View the transcript for this episode.

]]> full 414 false This episode features Charlynne Boddie, an inspiration as she assists others in overcoming extreme challenges. Learn about her unique approach to empowering individuals through her 'Xtreme Dream' Seminar. Discover the impact she has made on many lives and why her methods are a must-listen for anyone seeking motivation and tools for personal growth.

Links & Resources

Transcript

View the transcript for this episode.

]]> 00:55:02 <![CDATA[The Battle Against Veteran Suicide]]> Tue, 20 Aug 2024 08:00:00 +0000 Scott DeLuzio https://permalink.castos.com/podcast/2296/episode/1781414 Join Navy veteran and author D. Paul Fleming as he tackles the critical issue of veteran suicide. Discussing his own journey through trauma, PTSD, and transition out of service, Fleming delves into the complexities faced by veterans today. This heartfelt conversation covers the lasting impacts of military service, the struggle for purpose post-military, and how sharing personal stories can provide healing and understanding. Whether you're a veteran, a family member, or someone looking to support the veteran community, this episode offers valuable insights and practical advice for tackling one of the most pressing issues among veterans today.

00:00 Introduction to D Paul Fleming 00:36 The Crisis of Veteran Suicide 01:45 The Effects of Service and Transitioning Out 02:08 Personal Struggles and Overcoming Trauma 06:26 Identity and Purpose Post-Military 09:37 Navigating Civilian Life as a Veteran 34:34 The Importance of Sharing Veteran Stories

Links & Resources

Transcript

View the transcript for this episode.

]]> full 413 false Join Navy veteran and author D. Paul Fleming as he tackles the critical issue of veteran suicide. Discussing his own journey through trauma, PTSD, and transition out of service, Fleming delves into the complexities faced by veterans today. This heartfelt conversation covers the lasting impacts of military service, the struggle for purpose post-military, and how sharing personal stories can provide healing and understanding. Whether you're a veteran, a family member, or someone looking to support the veteran community, this episode offers valuable insights and practical advice for tackling one of the most pressing issues among veterans today.

00:00 Introduction to D Paul Fleming 00:36 The Crisis of Veteran Suicide 01:45 The Effects of Service and Transitioning Out 02:08 Personal Struggles and Overcoming Trauma 06:26 Identity and Purpose Post-Military 09:37 Navigating Civilian Life as a Veteran 34:34 The Importance of Sharing Veteran Stories

Links & Resources

Transcript

View the transcript for this episode.

]]> 00:56:59 <![CDATA[Finding Hope through Recovery]]> Thu, 15 Aug 2024 08:00:00 +0000 Scott DeLuzio https://permalink.castos.com/podcast/2296/episode/1781160 Discover the journey of Bryan Wempen, an Army veteran, author, and mental health entrepreneur. From his battle with addiction to his path of recovery and helping fellow veterans, Bryan shares his story of resilience and hope.

00:00 Introduction to Bryan Wempen 02:26 Overcoming Addiction and Early Life Challenges 10:47 Military Service and Transition Challenges 29:31 Insight into Therapy and Recovery 35:00 Advice for Listeners Struggling with Addiction 52:31 Normal - A Misleading Concept 01:02:04 Navigating Difficult Changes

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Transcript

View the transcript for this episode.

]]> full 412 false Discover the journey of Bryan Wempen, an Army veteran, author, and mental health entrepreneur. From his battle with addiction to his path of recovery and helping fellow veterans, Bryan shares his story of resilience and hope.

00:00 Introduction to Bryan Wempen 02:26 Overcoming Addiction and Early Life Challenges 10:47 Military Service and Transition Challenges 29:31 Insight into Therapy and Recovery 35:00 Advice for Listeners Struggling with Addiction 52:31 Normal - A Misleading Concept 01:02:04 Navigating Difficult Changes

Links & Resources

Transcript

View the transcript for this episode.

]]> 01:16:30 <![CDATA[Overcoming Addiction and Mental Health]]> Tue, 13 Aug 2024 08:00:00 +0000 Scott DeLuzio https://permalink.castos.com/podcast/2296/episode/1781140 Explore Nick Padlo's journey as an Army veteran and CEO of Sophros Recovery. He shares his personal battles with addiction and mental health and his mission to support veterans through holistic recovery programs.

00:00 Introduction to Nick Padlo and Sophros Recovery 01:10 Nick's Military Background and Post-service Challenges 03:30 Struggles with Mental Health and Addiction 04:32 The Founding of Sophros Recovery 05:45 Approaches and Methodologies in Wellness Programs 08:08 Tools and Strategies for Recovery 13:31 Integrating Physical and Mental Health in Recovery 15:35 Supporting Each Other in the Journey 12:22 Family and Friends as Part of the Healing Process 20:30 Facing Mental Health and Addiction Courageously 37:11 Finding the Right Treatment and Support

Links & Resources

Transcript

View the transcript for this episode.

]]> full 411 false Explore Nick Padlo's journey as an Army veteran and CEO of Sophros Recovery. He shares his personal battles with addiction and mental health and his mission to support veterans through holistic recovery programs.

00:00 Introduction to Nick Padlo and Sophros Recovery 01:10 Nick's Military Background and Post-service Challenges 03:30 Struggles with Mental Health and Addiction 04:32 The Founding of Sophros Recovery 05:45 Approaches and Methodologies in Wellness Programs 08:08 Tools and Strategies for Recovery 13:31 Integrating Physical and Mental Health in Recovery 15:35 Supporting Each Other in the Journey 12:22 Family and Friends as Part of the Healing Process 20:30 Facing Mental Health and Addiction Courageously 37:11 Finding the Right Treatment and Support

Links & Resources

Transcript

View the transcript for this episode.

]]> 00:47:32 <![CDATA[AI Opportunities for Veterans]]> Thu, 08 Aug 2024 08:00:00 +0000 Scott DeLuzio https://permalink.castos.com/podcast/2296/episode/1779399 Explore the world of Artificial Intelligence with Philip Blackett, author of Future Proof: How to Adopt and Master Artificial Intelligence to Secure Your Job and Career, as he shares key insights into how AI can be leveraged to secure future job opportunities and career advancements. This episode delves into the mindset needed to view AI as a beneficial tool rather than a threat, providing practical strategies to integrate AI into various aspects of work and personal life.

00:00 Introduction to Philip Blackett and His Work 01:22 The Future Proof Framework 04:29 Embracing AI: Overcoming Fear 05:38 Practical Uses of AI 09:33 Strategies for AI Integration 09:38 Choosing the Right AI Tools 10:37 Flexible Learning and Teaching 17:56 Military Community and AI Adoption 30:50 Looking Ahead: AI in the Future 40:37 Value of Adaptation to AI

Links & Resources

Transcript

View the transcript for this episode.

]]> full 410 false Explore the world of Artificial Intelligence with Philip Blackett, author of Future Proof: How to Adopt and Master Artificial Intelligence to Secure Your Job and Career, as he shares key insights into how AI can be leveraged to secure future job opportunities and career advancements. This episode delves into the mindset needed to view AI as a beneficial tool rather than a threat, providing practical strategies to integrate AI into various aspects of work and personal life.

00:00 Introduction to Philip Blackett and His Work 01:22 The Future Proof Framework 04:29 Embracing AI: Overcoming Fear 05:38 Practical Uses of AI 09:33 Strategies for AI Integration 09:38 Choosing the Right AI Tools 10:37 Flexible Learning and Teaching 17:56 Military Community and AI Adoption 30:50 Looking Ahead: AI in the Future 40:37 Value of Adaptation to AI

Links & Resources

Transcript

View the transcript for this episode.

]]> 00:52:22 <![CDATA[Engaging Kids While Deployed]]> Tue, 06 Aug 2024 08:00:00 +0000 Scott DeLuzio https://permalink.castos.com/podcast/2296/episode/1779379 Insightful strategies and tools for maintaining family connections during deployments. Guest Nate Turner joins to discuss practical advice for parents in the military community.

00:00 Introduction and Welcoming Nate Turner 01:30 Strategies for Staying Connected with Children 02:28 Writing Letters and Using Technology 18:23 Balancing Roles and the Importance of a Support System 17:42 Building a Village and Community Support 26:17 Life Template and Backward Design Process 32:48 Teaching Core Values and Final Thoughts

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Transcript

View the transcript for this episode.

]]> full 409 false Insightful strategies and tools for maintaining family connections during deployments. Guest Nate Turner joins to discuss practical advice for parents in the military community.

00:00 Introduction and Welcoming Nate Turner 01:30 Strategies for Staying Connected with Children 02:28 Writing Letters and Using Technology 18:23 Balancing Roles and the Importance of a Support System 17:42 Building a Village and Community Support 26:17 Life Template and Backward Design Process 32:48 Teaching Core Values and Final Thoughts

Links & Resources

Transcript

View the transcript for this episode.

]]> 00:47:20 <![CDATA[Finding Hope in Laughter]]> Thu, 01 Aug 2024 08:00:00 +0000 Scott DeLuzio https://permalink.castos.com/podcast/2296/episode/1775025 Retired U.S. Naval officer Jack Daly discusses his journey from a distinguished military career to becoming an advocate for the therapeutic benefits of laughter. Discover how laughter can be a potent tool for managing stress, depression, and overall well-being, especially for veterans and military families. Jack shares his military experiences, the traumatic incident that ended his service, and how humor has played a pivotal role in his life and coping mechanisms. Learn about his book 'Laugh Out Loud' and the science-backed strategies for incorporating laughter into daily life.

00:00 Introduction to Guest 01:10 Military Background 05:18 Traumatic Incident 11:42 Living with Pain 34:45 The Healing Power of Laughter 50:21 Practical Tips for Incorporating Laughter

Links & Resources

Transcript

View the transcript for this episode.

]]> full 408 false Retired U.S. Naval officer Jack Daly discusses his journey from a distinguished military career to becoming an advocate for the therapeutic benefits of laughter. Discover how laughter can be a potent tool for managing stress, depression, and overall well-being, especially for veterans and military families. Jack shares his military experiences, the traumatic incident that ended his service, and how humor has played a pivotal role in his life and coping mechanisms. Learn about his book 'Laugh Out Loud' and the science-backed strategies for incorporating laughter into daily life.

00:00 Introduction to Guest 01:10 Military Background 05:18 Traumatic Incident 11:42 Living with Pain 34:45 The Healing Power of Laughter 50:21 Practical Tips for Incorporating Laughter

Links & Resources

Transcript

View the transcript for this episode.

]]> 01:09:50 <![CDATA[Combating The Opioid Crisis with AI]]> Tue, 30 Jul 2024 08:00:00 +0000 Scott DeLuzio https://permalink.castos.com/podcast/2296/episode/1774832 USAF Veteran Michael Vasquez joins the show to discuss groundbreaking healthcare technology innovations aimed at addressing the opioid crisis. With a rich background that includes building the first AI-integrated electronic medical records system on NASDAQ and founding one of the largest opioid treatment programs in the U.S., Michael explains how AI is being utilized to combat addiction and the critical role of prevention.

00:00 Introduction and Guest Background 02:03 AI in Electronic Medical Records 04:57 Opioid Treatment and Prevention 10:23 Personal Story and Motivation 13:47 Indicators of Opioid Dependency 26:22 Holistic Approach: Sleep, Diet, and Exercise 19:37 Impact on Employers and Health Plans 36:37 Broader Implications for Veterans and the VA 40:34 Closing Remarks and Recommendations

Links & Resources

Transcript

View the transcript for this episode.

]]> full 407 false USAF Veteran Michael Vasquez joins the show to discuss groundbreaking healthcare technology innovations aimed at addressing the opioid crisis. With a rich background that includes building the first AI-integrated electronic medical records system on NASDAQ and founding one of the largest opioid treatment programs in the U.S., Michael explains how AI is being utilized to combat addiction and the critical role of prevention.

00:00 Introduction and Guest Background 02:03 AI in Electronic Medical Records 04:57 Opioid Treatment and Prevention 10:23 Personal Story and Motivation 13:47 Indicators of Opioid Dependency 26:22 Holistic Approach: Sleep, Diet, and Exercise 19:37 Impact on Employers and Health Plans 36:37 Broader Implications for Veterans and the VA 40:34 Closing Remarks and Recommendations

Links & Resources

Transcript

View the transcript for this episode.

]]> 00:41:37 <![CDATA[Goal Setting and Achieving Success with the Oxcart Technique]]> Thu, 25 Jul 2024 08:00:00 +0000 Scott DeLuzio https://permalink.castos.com/podcast/2296/episode/1773992 This episode features Terry L. Fossum, a veteran with a diverse and illustrious background, including serving as the executive officer for a group of Nuclear B-52 bombers during the Cold War and winning the survival reality show, 'Kicking and Screaming' on Fox. Terry is also a celebrated author of the Wall Street Journal bestselling book, 'The Oxcart Technique'. This revolutionary goal-setting system helps individuals achieve their goals by utilizing both negative and positive motivators to drive action, forming a powerful framework applicable to various aspects of life.

00:00 Introduction to Terry L. Fossum 01:46 Overview of The Oxcart Technique 02:01 Debunking Goal-Setting Myths 04:20 Understanding Prospect Theory 07:48 Application of The Oxcart Technique 22:08 Detailed Steps of The Oxcart Technique 41:12 Kicking and Screaming Experience 44:50 Conclusion and Resources 46:48 Humor Segment: Service Connected?

Links & Resources

Transcript

View the transcript for this episode.

]]> full 406 false This episode features Terry L. Fossum, a veteran with a diverse and illustrious background, including serving as the executive officer for a group of Nuclear B-52 bombers during the Cold War and winning the survival reality show, 'Kicking and Screaming' on Fox. Terry is also a celebrated author of the Wall Street Journal bestselling book, 'The Oxcart Technique'. This revolutionary goal-setting system helps individuals achieve their goals by utilizing both negative and positive motivators to drive action, forming a powerful framework applicable to various aspects of life.

00:00 Introduction to Terry L. Fossum 01:46 Overview of The Oxcart Technique 02:01 Debunking Goal-Setting Myths 04:20 Understanding Prospect Theory 07:48 Application of The Oxcart Technique 22:08 Detailed Steps of The Oxcart Technique 41:12 Kicking and Screaming Experience 44:50 Conclusion and Resources 46:48 Humor Segment: Service Connected?

Links & Resources

Transcript

View the transcript for this episode.

]]> 00:49:55 <![CDATA[Codependency Solutions and Recovery Tips]]> Tue, 23 Jul 2024 08:00:00 +0000 Scott DeLuzio https://permalink.castos.com/podcast/2296/episode/1770078 In this episode, Dr. Sarah Michaud, a seasoned psychologist with over 30 years of experience, discusses the intricate issues of addiction, codependency, and mental health, particularly within the veteran community. The discussion provides valuable insights into how these issues impact veterans and their families and offers strategies for developing healthier relationships and coping mechanisms.

00:00 Introduction to Dr. Sarah Michaud 01:54 Understanding Codependency 08:23 Challenges in Managing Addiction and Mental Health 09:49 The Complexity of PTSD and Addiction 08:27 Navigating the Healthcare System 15:11 Impact of Emotional Pain and Grief 16:20 Consequences of Not Addressing Root Causes 15:06 Grief and Rage 34:04 Breaking the Cycle of Codependency 46:26 Dr. Michaud's Book and Resources 47:40 Closing Remarks and Humor

Links & Resources

Transcript

View the transcript for this episode.

]]> full 405 false In this episode, Dr. Sarah Michaud, a seasoned psychologist with over 30 years of experience, discusses the intricate issues of addiction, codependency, and mental health, particularly within the veteran community. The discussion provides valuable insights into how these issues impact veterans and their families and offers strategies for developing healthier relationships and coping mechanisms.

00:00 Introduction to Dr. Sarah Michaud 01:54 Understanding Codependency 08:23 Challenges in Managing Addiction and Mental Health 09:49 The Complexity of PTSD and Addiction 08:27 Navigating the Healthcare System 15:11 Impact of Emotional Pain and Grief 16:20 Consequences of Not Addressing Root Causes 15:06 Grief and Rage 34:04 Breaking the Cycle of Codependency 46:26 Dr. Michaud's Book and Resources 47:40 Closing Remarks and Humor

Links & Resources

Transcript

View the transcript for this episode.

]]> 00:51:49 <![CDATA[Overcoming Emotional Triggers]]> Thu, 18 Jul 2024 08:00:00 +0000 Scott DeLuzio https://permalink.castos.com/podcast/2296/episode/1770069 In this episode, Jennie Potter, author of 'Self Sabotage No More' and creator of the ALARM Method, discusses techniques to manage emotional triggers. The discussion focuses on practical steps veterans and others can use to tackle emotions like anger, fear, and stress, which often lead to self-sabotaging behaviors.

00:00 Introduction to Jennie Potter 01:05 Understanding the ALARM Method 01:37 Practical Applications 28:09 Managing Intense Emotions 34:15 Challenges and Overcoming Them

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Transcript

View the transcript for this episode.

]]> full 404 false In this episode, Jennie Potter, author of 'Self Sabotage No More' and creator of the ALARM Method, discusses techniques to manage emotional triggers. The discussion focuses on practical steps veterans and others can use to tackle emotions like anger, fear, and stress, which often lead to self-sabotaging behaviors.

00:00 Introduction to Jennie Potter 01:05 Understanding the ALARM Method 01:37 Practical Applications 28:09 Managing Intense Emotions 34:15 Challenges and Overcoming Them

Links & Resources

Transcript

View the transcript for this episode.

]]> 00:51:15 <![CDATA[Practical Strategies for Resolving Disputes]]> Tue, 16 Jul 2024 08:00:00 +0000 Scott DeLuzio https://permalink.castos.com/podcast/2296/episode/1764236 In this episode, Mike Hassell, author of Deep Tradeoffs, delves into strategies for humanizing opponents and managing subconscious reflexes in polarized societies. The discussion covers approaches to handling interpersonal and societal conflicts, the importance of striving versus peace, the complexities of honesty and self-deception, and the pursuit of happiness and meaning. Mike provides insights on balancing conflicting values, personal reflections on shared experiences, and practical techniques for diffusing tension.

00:00 Introduction to Mike Hassell and Deep Tradeoffs 01:39 Humanizing Opponents and Managing Conflict 08:06 Understanding Rivalrous Values 36:58 Striving vs. Peace 34:27 Interpersonal Relationships and Shared Experiences 36:36 Pursuing Happiness and Meaning 52:25 Conclusion and Practical Techniques

Links & Resources

Transcript

View the transcript for this episode.

]]> full 403 false In this episode, Mike Hassell, author of Deep Tradeoffs, delves into strategies for humanizing opponents and managing subconscious reflexes in polarized societies. The discussion covers approaches to handling interpersonal and societal conflicts, the importance of striving versus peace, the complexities of honesty and self-deception, and the pursuit of happiness and meaning. Mike provides insights on balancing conflicting values, personal reflections on shared experiences, and practical techniques for diffusing tension.

00:00 Introduction to Mike Hassell and Deep Tradeoffs 01:39 Humanizing Opponents and Managing Conflict 08:06 Understanding Rivalrous Values 36:58 Striving vs. Peace 34:27 Interpersonal Relationships and Shared Experiences 36:36 Pursuing Happiness and Meaning 52:25 Conclusion and Practical Techniques

Links & Resources

Transcript

View the transcript for this episode.

]]> 00:57:16 <![CDATA[Finding Your Life's Purpose]]> Thu, 11 Jul 2024 08:00:00 +0000 Scott DeLuzio https://permalink.castos.com/podcast/2296/episode/1759031 Author and speaker Corey Poirier discusses the importance of finding purpose and passion to address mental health issues. Corey shares his personal journey through mental health struggles, the moment that changed his life, and how he now helps others discover their own passions and purposes. With insights applicable to veterans, service members, and the broader community, Corey's practical advice and inspirational story make this an episode you won't want to miss. 00:00 Introduction 00:55 Introducing Corey Poirier 01:06 Corey's Background and Journey 01:25 Mental Health Struggles and Overcoming Them 02:43 The Impact of Passion on Mental Health 07:07 Purpose and Passion in the Military Community 09:49 Helping Others Find Their Purpose 13:05 Finding Passion and Purpose 12:19 10,000 Hours to Mastery 28:30 Putting in the Work 09:47 Addressing Negativity 35:21 Steps to Finding Passion 44:20 Closing Thoughts and Resources

Links & Resources

Transcript

View the transcript for this episode.

]]> full 402 false Author and speaker Corey Poirier discusses the importance of finding purpose and passion to address mental health issues. Corey shares his personal journey through mental health struggles, the moment that changed his life, and how he now helps others discover their own passions and purposes. With insights applicable to veterans, service members, and the broader community, Corey's practical advice and inspirational story make this an episode you won't want to miss. 00:00 Introduction 00:55 Introducing Corey Poirier 01:06 Corey's Background and Journey 01:25 Mental Health Struggles and Overcoming Them 02:43 The Impact of Passion on Mental Health 07:07 Purpose and Passion in the Military Community 09:49 Helping Others Find Their Purpose 13:05 Finding Passion and Purpose 12:19 10,000 Hours to Mastery 28:30 Putting in the Work 09:47 Addressing Negativity 35:21 Steps to Finding Passion 44:20 Closing Thoughts and Resources

Links & Resources

Transcript

View the transcript for this episode.

]]> 00:52:47 <![CDATA[The Hidden Impacts of PTSD]]> Tue, 09 Jul 2024 08:00:00 +0000 Scott DeLuzio https://permalink.castos.com/podcast/2296/episode/1752959 In this episode, Ruth Clare, the author of the memoir 'Enemy' and a TEDx speaker, discusses the generational impacts of PTSD and shares valuable tools for recovery. Ruth's memoir explores her life as the child of a Vietnam veteran and the complex repercussions of war trauma on families. The conversation talks about coping strategies, parental challenges, and the importance of active involvement in healing. From identifying the fight-flight-freeze response to sharing actionable recovery tips, this episode is packed with insights beneficial for veterans, their families, and anyone impacted by PTSD.

00:00 Introduction to Ruth Clare 01:29 Living with a Parent with PTSD 16:21 Coping Strategies and Healing from Trauma 24:28 Nervous System and Trauma Response 42:45 Experiences and Reflections

Links & Resources

Transcript

View the transcript for this episode.

]]> full 401 false In this episode, Ruth Clare, the author of the memoir 'Enemy' and a TEDx speaker, discusses the generational impacts of PTSD and shares valuable tools for recovery. Ruth's memoir explores her life as the child of a Vietnam veteran and the complex repercussions of war trauma on families. The conversation talks about coping strategies, parental challenges, and the importance of active involvement in healing. From identifying the fight-flight-freeze response to sharing actionable recovery tips, this episode is packed with insights beneficial for veterans, their families, and anyone impacted by PTSD.

00:00 Introduction to Ruth Clare 01:29 Living with a Parent with PTSD 16:21 Coping Strategies and Healing from Trauma 24:28 Nervous System and Trauma Response 42:45 Experiences and Reflections

Links & Resources

Transcript

View the transcript for this episode.

]]> 01:02:29 <![CDATA[Celebrating the 4th on the 400th Episode]]> Thu, 04 Jul 2024 08:00:00 +0000 Scott DeLuzio https://permalink.castos.com/podcast/2296/episode/1751031 In this special episode marking a significant milestone, the focus shifts from traditional interviews to an in-depth exploration of the essence of Independence Day. The episode dives into the historical context of the American Revolution, key figures and battles that shaped the nation's quest for freedom, and the enduring significance of the Declaration of Independence. It offers listeners a monologue that transcends a simple historical recounting, aiming to inspire patriotism and a deep appreciation for the principles of bravery, sacrifice, and freedom. This commemorative episode is a tribute to the spirit of Independence Day, delving into the values that make the United States a beacon of freedom worldwide.

00:00 Historical Context of Independence Day 03:13 Significance of the Declaration of Independence 20:12 Foundational Figures of the Revolution 23:40 Key Battles and Events Leading to Independence 46:47 Formation of a New Nation 59:18 The Evolving American Identity 01:09:31 Significance and Celebration of Independence Day

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Transcript

View the transcript for this episode.

]]> full 400 false In this special episode marking a significant milestone, the focus shifts from traditional interviews to an in-depth exploration of the essence of Independence Day. The episode dives into the historical context of the American Revolution, key figures and battles that shaped the nation's quest for freedom, and the enduring significance of the Declaration of Independence. It offers listeners a monologue that transcends a simple historical recounting, aiming to inspire patriotism and a deep appreciation for the principles of bravery, sacrifice, and freedom. This commemorative episode is a tribute to the spirit of Independence Day, delving into the values that make the United States a beacon of freedom worldwide.

00:00 Historical Context of Independence Day 03:13 Significance of the Declaration of Independence 20:12 Foundational Figures of the Revolution 23:40 Key Battles and Events Leading to Independence 46:47 Formation of a New Nation 59:18 The Evolving American Identity 01:09:31 Significance and Celebration of Independence Day

Links & Resources

Transcript

View the transcript for this episode.

]]> 01:12:52 <![CDATA[Transforming Trials into Triumphs]]> Tue, 02 Jul 2024 08:00:00 +0000 Scott DeLuzio https://permalink.castos.com/podcast/2296/episode/1744601 In this episode, our guest is Karis Meier, a military wife and an inspiring author of 'Suffering Redeemed: Finding Strength to Endure, Purpose in Pain and Hope for Tomorrow'. Karis shares her journey of dealing with chronic illness and how her experiences have shaped her perspective on suffering, resilience, and the importance of community support. With insights from her life as a military spouse and her deep-rooted faith, Karis discusses the practical tools and wisdom she has gathered while navigating through life's hardships. This episode explores themes of personal transformation, the therapeutic power of writing, and how suffering can bring unexpected gifts. Listeners will find encouragement and strategies for facing their own challenges, learning to process their experiences, and discovering the strength to endure through adversity.

00:00 Guest Introduction 01:19 Journey Through Adversity 08:48 Insights from 'Suffering Redeemed' 14:06 The Therapeutic Power of Writing 29:01 Holistic View on Overcoming Challenges 41:49 Navigating Life's Transitions

Links & Resources

Transcript

View the transcript for this episode.

]]> full 399 false In this episode, our guest is Karis Meier, a military wife and an inspiring author of 'Suffering Redeemed: Finding Strength to Endure, Purpose in Pain and Hope for Tomorrow'. Karis shares her journey of dealing with chronic illness and how her experiences have shaped her perspective on suffering, resilience, and the importance of community support. With insights from her life as a military spouse and her deep-rooted faith, Karis discusses the practical tools and wisdom she has gathered while navigating through life's hardships. This episode explores themes of personal transformation, the therapeutic power of writing, and how suffering can bring unexpected gifts. Listeners will find encouragement and strategies for facing their own challenges, learning to process their experiences, and discovering the strength to endure through adversity.

00:00 Guest Introduction 01:19 Journey Through Adversity 08:48 Insights from 'Suffering Redeemed' 14:06 The Therapeutic Power of Writing 29:01 Holistic View on Overcoming Challenges 41:49 Navigating Life's Transitions

Links & Resources

Transcript

View the transcript for this episode.

]]> 00:53:24 <![CDATA[Irreverent Warriors - Silkies, Service, and Camaraderie]]> Thu, 27 Jun 2024 08:10:00 +0000 Scott DeLuzio https://permalink.castos.com/podcast/2296/episode/1744476 This episode features Perla Tapia, who serves in the US Air Force and as the Lead Coordinator for Irreverent Warriors' hikes in Phoenix. This episode shows the impact of camaraderie in supporting veterans and preventing suicide, highlighted by the organization's "silkies hikes." Listeners will learn about the significance of community and connection in addressing veteran mental health and how Irreverent Warriors' events create meaningful, support-filled experiences for veterans. This episode bridges military service, voluntary commitment, and the effects of community support in tackling prevalent issues within the veteran community.

Links & Resources

Transcript

View the transcript for this episode.

]]> full 398 false This episode features Perla Tapia, who serves in the US Air Force and as the Lead Coordinator for Irreverent Warriors' hikes in Phoenix. This episode shows the impact of camaraderie in supporting veterans and preventing suicide, highlighted by the organization's "silkies hikes." Listeners will learn about the significance of community and connection in addressing veteran mental health and how Irreverent Warriors' events create meaningful, support-filled experiences for veterans. This episode bridges military service, voluntary commitment, and the effects of community support in tackling prevalent issues within the veteran community.

Links & Resources

Transcript

View the transcript for this episode.

]]> 00:38:03 <![CDATA[Navigating VA Disability Benefits and Military Transition]]> Tue, 25 Jun 2024 08:00:00 +0000 Scott DeLuzio https://permalink.castos.com/podcast/2296/episode/1743344 In this episode, Joe Fortuno, a veteran deeply dedicated to assisting fellow veterans in securing their deserving VA disability benefits, shares his insights and experiences. Looking into the complexities of mental health challenges, the transition from military to civilian life, and the intricacies of navigating VA health care and disability benefits, Joe offers advice and perspectives drawn from both personal and professional expertise. This episode is a must-listen for veterans seeking guidance on VA benefits, individuals facing transition struggles, and anyone interested in the support systems within the veteran community. Listen in for an engaging conversation filled with practical tips, inspiring stories, and a deep dive into the resources available to veterans. 00:00 Guest Introduction: Joe Fortuno 02:08 Veterans' Transition Challenges 09:52 Navigating Mental Health and Support Systems 13:47 Understanding VA Disability Benefits 31:05 Advice for Veterans Seeking Benefits

Links & Resources

Transcript

View the transcript for this episode.

]]> full 397 false In this episode, Joe Fortuno, a veteran deeply dedicated to assisting fellow veterans in securing their deserving VA disability benefits, shares his insights and experiences. Looking into the complexities of mental health challenges, the transition from military to civilian life, and the intricacies of navigating VA health care and disability benefits, Joe offers advice and perspectives drawn from both personal and professional expertise. This episode is a must-listen for veterans seeking guidance on VA benefits, individuals facing transition struggles, and anyone interested in the support systems within the veteran community. Listen in for an engaging conversation filled with practical tips, inspiring stories, and a deep dive into the resources available to veterans. 00:00 Guest Introduction: Joe Fortuno 02:08 Veterans' Transition Challenges 09:52 Navigating Mental Health and Support Systems 13:47 Understanding VA Disability Benefits 31:05 Advice for Veterans Seeking Benefits

Links & Resources

Transcript

View the transcript for this episode.

]]> 00:42:48 <![CDATA[Military Suicide Loss and the Path to Healing]]> Thu, 20 Jun 2024 08:00:00 +0000 Scott DeLuzio https://permalink.castos.com/podcast/2296/episode/1743271 Jessica Timmerman shares her personal journey of loss and resilience following the passing of her brother, a dedicated service member. Jessica opens up about the challenges her brother faced, including combat experiences in Iraq, Afghanistan, and South Africa, and his struggles with mental health leading up to his passing on Mother's Day 2022. Through her story, Jessica sheds light on the importance of support systems for military suicide survivor families, discussing resources and organizations that have been instrumental in her healing process. She also touches on the broader issue of mental health within the military community, emphasizing the need for accessible support and the power of personal connections in overcoming grief and isolation. Her message is one of hope, urging those who are struggling or know someone who is to seek out and offer support, ensuring that no one has to navigate their journey of loss alone. 00:00 Introduction to Jessica Timmerman's Story 01:20 Discussing Military Service and Personal Struggles 05:51 The Importance of Support Systems and Resources 07:12 Finding Hope and Strength Through Connection 09:50 Jessica's Current Endeavors to Support Others 12:30 Ideas for Improving Support for Military Families

Links & Resources

Transcript

View the transcript for this episode.

]]> full 396 false Jessica Timmerman shares her personal journey of loss and resilience following the passing of her brother, a dedicated service member. Jessica opens up about the challenges her brother faced, including combat experiences in Iraq, Afghanistan, and South Africa, and his struggles with mental health leading up to his passing on Mother's Day 2022. Through her story, Jessica sheds light on the importance of support systems for military suicide survivor families, discussing resources and organizations that have been instrumental in her healing process. She also touches on the broader issue of mental health within the military community, emphasizing the need for accessible support and the power of personal connections in overcoming grief and isolation. Her message is one of hope, urging those who are struggling or know someone who is to seek out and offer support, ensuring that no one has to navigate their journey of loss alone. 00:00 Introduction to Jessica Timmerman's Story 01:20 Discussing Military Service and Personal Struggles 05:51 The Importance of Support Systems and Resources 07:12 Finding Hope and Strength Through Connection 09:50 Jessica's Current Endeavors to Support Others 12:30 Ideas for Improving Support for Military Families

Links & Resources

Transcript

View the transcript for this episode.

]]> 00:50:19 <![CDATA[Serving Those Who Serve Through Care Packages]]> Tue, 18 Jun 2024 08:00:00 +0000 Scott DeLuzio https://permalink.castos.com/podcast/2296/episode/1741809 Megan Richards, an army combat veteran and the executive director of Packages from Home, joins us to discuss the substantial impact of care packages on military members stationed abroad and veterans in need. We talk about Megan's personal journey from joining the army unexpectedly, facing the complexities of military life, and how her experiences shaped her role in providing morale-boosting support to the military community. The conversation highlights the evolution of Packages from Home, from its grassroots beginnings to its current outreach, fulfilling 50 requests daily from military members across 176 countries and supporting canines in service. Further, it explores volunteer opportunities with the organization, emphasizing its initiative beyond simple care packages to include support groups and events for veterans, showcasing the breadth of their commitment to the entire military community. This episode is a compelling listen for those interested in military advocacy, volunteerism, and the power of community in supporting our service members and veterans. 00:00 Empowering Through Care Packages 02:17 A Personal Journey in Service 07:31 Supporting the Military and Beyond 23:23 The Growth of Packages from Home

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View the transcript for this episode.

]]> full 395 false Megan Richards, an army combat veteran and the executive director of Packages from Home, joins us to discuss the substantial impact of care packages on military members stationed abroad and veterans in need. We talk about Megan's personal journey from joining the army unexpectedly, facing the complexities of military life, and how her experiences shaped her role in providing morale-boosting support to the military community. The conversation highlights the evolution of Packages from Home, from its grassroots beginnings to its current outreach, fulfilling 50 requests daily from military members across 176 countries and supporting canines in service. Further, it explores volunteer opportunities with the organization, emphasizing its initiative beyond simple care packages to include support groups and events for veterans, showcasing the breadth of their commitment to the entire military community. This episode is a compelling listen for those interested in military advocacy, volunteerism, and the power of community in supporting our service members and veterans. 00:00 Empowering Through Care Packages 02:17 A Personal Journey in Service 07:31 Supporting the Military and Beyond 23:23 The Growth of Packages from Home

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Transcript

View the transcript for this episode.

]]> 00:50:08 <![CDATA[MANA House's Fight Against Veteran Homelessness]]> Thu, 13 Jun 2024 08:00:00 +0000 Scott DeLuzio https://permalink.castos.com/podcast/2296/episode/1741792 In this episode, Rachel Masch-Perez, the Community Engagement Director at MANA House, dives deep into the critical issue of veteran homelessness. We explore the multifaceted challenges veterans face, including substance abuse, mental health issues, and the hurdles of reintegration into civilian life, contributing to homelessness. Rachel provides a behind-the-scenes look at how MANA House, a peer-run organization in Phoenix, Arizona, offers personalized resources, support, and advocacy to help homeless and formerly homeless veterans. This episode shines a light on essential assistance programs, the impact of community and belonging, and the broader social factors influencing veteran homelessness. Listeners will gain an understanding of the specialized support provided to veterans, the specific demographics at higher risk, and success stories from the community, emphasizing the importance of targeted assistance and the power of collaboration in addressing veteran homelessness.

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]]> full 394 false In this episode, Rachel Masch-Perez, the Community Engagement Director at MANA House, dives deep into the critical issue of veteran homelessness. We explore the multifaceted challenges veterans face, including substance abuse, mental health issues, and the hurdles of reintegration into civilian life, contributing to homelessness. Rachel provides a behind-the-scenes look at how MANA House, a peer-run organization in Phoenix, Arizona, offers personalized resources, support, and advocacy to help homeless and formerly homeless veterans. This episode shines a light on essential assistance programs, the impact of community and belonging, and the broader social factors influencing veteran homelessness. Listeners will gain an understanding of the specialized support provided to veterans, the specific demographics at higher risk, and success stories from the community, emphasizing the importance of targeted assistance and the power of collaboration in addressing veteran homelessness.

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View the transcript for this episode.

]]> 00:49:04 <![CDATA[Maximizing Military Benefits]]> Tue, 11 Jun 2024 08:00:00 +0000 Scott DeLuzio https://permalink.castos.com/podcast/2296/episode/1741785 This episode features financial educator Kate Horrell, specializing in empowering military and veteran families to optimize their pay and benefits. Discussions span the differences in managing finances for active vs. veteran status, leveraging educational benefits like the Post 9/11 GI Bill, navigating the transition from military to civilian life, and the availability of resources to ease this significant change. Kate shares great insights on preparing financially for the transition, making the most of available benefits, and the importance of planning for life post-service. This episode is a must-listen for military members, veterans, and their families seeking to better navigate financial planning and use of benefits pre and post-military life.

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]]> full 393 false This episode features financial educator Kate Horrell, specializing in empowering military and veteran families to optimize their pay and benefits. Discussions span the differences in managing finances for active vs. veteran status, leveraging educational benefits like the Post 9/11 GI Bill, navigating the transition from military to civilian life, and the availability of resources to ease this significant change. Kate shares great insights on preparing financially for the transition, making the most of available benefits, and the importance of planning for life post-service. This episode is a must-listen for military members, veterans, and their families seeking to better navigate financial planning and use of benefits pre and post-military life.

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]]> 00:46:27 <![CDATA[Service and Compassion for Veterans]]> Thu, 06 Jun 2024 08:00:00 +0000 Scott DeLuzio https://permalink.castos.com/podcast/2296/episode/1741784 This episode features Kapri Willis, who shares her compelling journey from a challenging youth to serving as a Navy Corpsman and later founding Take Care of Our Vets. Willis opens up about the motivations behind her military service, her diverse experiences within the Navy, and how these shaped her commitment to aiding homeless veterans and their families. She provides insights into the challenges veterans face when transitioning to civilian life and discusses her efforts to improve the lives of homeless veterans through health and beauty initiatives. Additionally, the episode delves into broader issues surrounding homelessness, highlighting the importance of humanity and understanding in addressing this complex problem. 00:00 Introducing Kapri Willis 00:57 Journey to Service 08:50 Challenges of Transition 12:27 Addressing Veteran Homelessness 15:18 Humanity and Compassion 34:46 Is it Service Connected?: Marine vs Razor Wire

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]]> full 392 false This episode features Kapri Willis, who shares her compelling journey from a challenging youth to serving as a Navy Corpsman and later founding Take Care of Our Vets. Willis opens up about the motivations behind her military service, her diverse experiences within the Navy, and how these shaped her commitment to aiding homeless veterans and their families. She provides insights into the challenges veterans face when transitioning to civilian life and discusses her efforts to improve the lives of homeless veterans through health and beauty initiatives. Additionally, the episode delves into broader issues surrounding homelessness, highlighting the importance of humanity and understanding in addressing this complex problem. 00:00 Introducing Kapri Willis 00:57 Journey to Service 08:50 Challenges of Transition 12:27 Addressing Veteran Homelessness 15:18 Humanity and Compassion 34:46 Is it Service Connected?: Marine vs Razor Wire

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Transcript

View the transcript for this episode.

]]> 00:38:18 <![CDATA[A Veteran's Journey to Healing]]> Tue, 04 Jun 2024 08:00:00 +0000 Scott DeLuzio https://permalink.castos.com/podcast/2296/episode/1737614 In this episode, we look into the inspiring journey of Mark Perna, a former Marine Corps infantryman with deployments to Afghanistan and Iraq. Mark shares his experiences from the battlefield to the trials of reintegration into civilian life, touching on themes of resilience, healing, and the power of self-discovery through challenging times. His story unfolds through discussions on overcoming the aftermath of combat, exploring non-traditional paths to healing, such as yoga and meditation, and the role of community and support systems in facilitating growth and recovery. This conversation sheds light on the complexities of the veteran experience, highlighting the importance of facing fears, embracing change, and finding solace in connection and purpose.

(00:00) Welcome to Drive On (00:25) Introducing Mark Perna: A Marine's Story of Resilience (00:58) Parenting After War: Sharing Stories with the Next Generation (03:22) Marine Boot Camp: Preparing for War (08:32) Deployment to Afghanistan: The Reality on the Ground (13:19) Combat Experiences: The Intensity of Firefights (48:39) Returning Home: The Challenge of Reintegration (49:22) The Harsh Realities of Combat and Its Aftermath (51:18) Struggling with Trauma and Seeking Solace in Risky Behaviors (01:00:57) The Journey Towards Healing: From Medication to Meditation (01:11:56) Finding Peace Through Yoga and Embracing New Beginnings (01:24:05) Skydiving: A Leap Towards Self-Discovery and Love (01:32:55) Reflections on Service, Sacrifice, and the Path to Healing (01:39:33) Is It Service Connected?: The Misadventures of a Paratrooper

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View the transcript for this episode.

]]> full 391 false In this episode, we look into the inspiring journey of Mark Perna, a former Marine Corps infantryman with deployments to Afghanistan and Iraq. Mark shares his experiences from the battlefield to the trials of reintegration into civilian life, touching on themes of resilience, healing, and the power of self-discovery through challenging times. His story unfolds through discussions on overcoming the aftermath of combat, exploring non-traditional paths to healing, such as yoga and meditation, and the role of community and support systems in facilitating growth and recovery. This conversation sheds light on the complexities of the veteran experience, highlighting the importance of facing fears, embracing change, and finding solace in connection and purpose.

(00:00) Welcome to Drive On (00:25) Introducing Mark Perna: A Marine's Story of Resilience (00:58) Parenting After War: Sharing Stories with the Next Generation (03:22) Marine Boot Camp: Preparing for War (08:32) Deployment to Afghanistan: The Reality on the Ground (13:19) Combat Experiences: The Intensity of Firefights (48:39) Returning Home: The Challenge of Reintegration (49:22) The Harsh Realities of Combat and Its Aftermath (51:18) Struggling with Trauma and Seeking Solace in Risky Behaviors (01:00:57) The Journey Towards Healing: From Medication to Meditation (01:11:56) Finding Peace Through Yoga and Embracing New Beginnings (01:24:05) Skydiving: A Leap Towards Self-Discovery and Love (01:32:55) Reflections on Service, Sacrifice, and the Path to Healing (01:39:33) Is It Service Connected?: The Misadventures of a Paratrooper

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]]> 01:42:42 <![CDATA[Dogs For Our Brave]]> Thu, 30 May 2024 08:00:00 +0000 Scott DeLuzio https://permalink.castos.com/podcast/2296/episode/1736025 This episode dives deep into veterans' support through service dogs, highlighting the support available for those who served. Our guest, Bryan Pieschel, director of veteran services at Dogs for Our Brave, shares his enlightening journey from an army medic in Baghdad to supporting wounded veterans. The conversation covers the vital role of service dogs in offering hope, independence, and support to veterans dealing with physical and mental challenges, diving into the specifics of how these dogs are trained and matched with veterans, the financial aspects, and the impact they have on veterans' lives. This episode not only sheds light on the challenges faced by veterans transitioning back to civilian life but also emphasizes the importance of support systems and resources available, making it a must-listen for anyone connected to the military community or interested in the incredible bond between humans and their canine companions.

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]]> full 390 false This episode dives deep into veterans' support through service dogs, highlighting the support available for those who served. Our guest, Bryan Pieschel, director of veteran services at Dogs for Our Brave, shares his enlightening journey from an army medic in Baghdad to supporting wounded veterans. The conversation covers the vital role of service dogs in offering hope, independence, and support to veterans dealing with physical and mental challenges, diving into the specifics of how these dogs are trained and matched with veterans, the financial aspects, and the impact they have on veterans' lives. This episode not only sheds light on the challenges faced by veterans transitioning back to civilian life but also emphasizes the importance of support systems and resources available, making it a must-listen for anyone connected to the military community or interested in the incredible bond between humans and their canine companions.

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View the transcript for this episode.

]]> 01:05:45 <![CDATA[Art, Service, and Healing]]> Tue, 28 May 2024 08:00:00 +0000 Scott DeLuzio https://permalink.castos.com/podcast/2296/episode/1735864 This episode features an in-depth conversation with Fred Johnson, a former Marine turned musical performer renowned for his work in healing veterans through artistic expression. Johnson shares his journey from the military to the arts, highlighting the impact of his service and artistic endeavors and how these experiences shaped his commitment to helping veterans transition and heal. The discussion covers Johnson's unique perspective on the power of creativity in bridging the gap between military and civilian communities, the therapeutic benefits of artistic expression, and initiatives aimed at veterans' rehabilitation. This heartfelt dialogue offers insights into the intersection of service, art, and the ongoing efforts to support the well-being of veterans and their families.

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]]> full 389 false This episode features an in-depth conversation with Fred Johnson, a former Marine turned musical performer renowned for his work in healing veterans through artistic expression. Johnson shares his journey from the military to the arts, highlighting the impact of his service and artistic endeavors and how these experiences shaped his commitment to helping veterans transition and heal. The discussion covers Johnson's unique perspective on the power of creativity in bridging the gap between military and civilian communities, the therapeutic benefits of artistic expression, and initiatives aimed at veterans' rehabilitation. This heartfelt dialogue offers insights into the intersection of service, art, and the ongoing efforts to support the well-being of veterans and their families.

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View the transcript for this episode.

]]> 00:55:15 <![CDATA[Navigating Life as a Caregiver]]> Thu, 23 May 2024 08:02:00 +0000 Scott DeLuzio https://permalink.castos.com/podcast/2296/episode/1731738 This episode features a heartfelt conversation with Elisa Glass, a dedicated caregiver to her husband, a 100% disabled veteran, and an advocate for caregivers and individuals with rare autoimmune diseases. Elisa shares her challenging journey of resilience, strength, and dedication while navigating the unique hurdles of caregiving, managing her own rare autoimmune disease, and advocating for resources and support. The discussion covers the underestimated stress of caregiving, the importance of self-identification as a caregiver, valuable tips on self-care, and how to access helpful resources and programs, particularly through the VA. Elisa's story highlights the power of a positive mindset, the necessity of community support, and offers inspiration and practical advice for caregivers facing similar situations.

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]]> full 388 false This episode features a heartfelt conversation with Elisa Glass, a dedicated caregiver to her husband, a 100% disabled veteran, and an advocate for caregivers and individuals with rare autoimmune diseases. Elisa shares her challenging journey of resilience, strength, and dedication while navigating the unique hurdles of caregiving, managing her own rare autoimmune disease, and advocating for resources and support. The discussion covers the underestimated stress of caregiving, the importance of self-identification as a caregiver, valuable tips on self-care, and how to access helpful resources and programs, particularly through the VA. Elisa's story highlights the power of a positive mindset, the necessity of community support, and offers inspiration and practical advice for caregivers facing similar situations.

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Transcript

View the transcript for this episode.

]]> 00:53:35 <![CDATA[Triumph Over Trials]]> Tue, 21 May 2024 08:00:00 +0000 Scott DeLuzio https://permalink.castos.com/podcast/2296/episode/1714104 In this episode, Uncle Jimmy (James Kuczykowski), a Roman Catholic Air Force veteran, shares his inspiring and impactful journey from rock bottom to recovery. Discussing his life's challenges, including overcoming addiction and surviving a stroke, Uncle Jimmy offers a raw and honest look into the trials he faced and how he overcame them. Through stories of his military career, the camaraderie amongst veterans, and his deep faith, listeners are invited to explore themes of resilience, community, and spiritual growth. Whether discussing his time in the Air Force, his struggles with addiction, or his path to writing a book, Uncle Jimmy's story is one of hope and transformation, making this episode a must-listen for anyone seeking inspiration or understanding of the power of redemption. 00:00 Introduction to Uncle Jimmy 01:10 Military Service and Reflections 08:50 Facing Life Challenges 14:17 Overcoming Addiction 22:21 Discovering Faith and Recovery 36:42 Embracing Fellowship and Humor

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]]> full 387 false In this episode, Uncle Jimmy (James Kuczykowski), a Roman Catholic Air Force veteran, shares his inspiring and impactful journey from rock bottom to recovery. Discussing his life's challenges, including overcoming addiction and surviving a stroke, Uncle Jimmy offers a raw and honest look into the trials he faced and how he overcame them. Through stories of his military career, the camaraderie amongst veterans, and his deep faith, listeners are invited to explore themes of resilience, community, and spiritual growth. Whether discussing his time in the Air Force, his struggles with addiction, or his path to writing a book, Uncle Jimmy's story is one of hope and transformation, making this episode a must-listen for anyone seeking inspiration or understanding of the power of redemption. 00:00 Introduction to Uncle Jimmy 01:10 Military Service and Reflections 08:50 Facing Life Challenges 14:17 Overcoming Addiction 22:21 Discovering Faith and Recovery 36:42 Embracing Fellowship and Humor

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Transcript

View the transcript for this episode.

]]> 00:40:42 <![CDATA[A Journey Through Military Service and Combatting Eating Disorders]]> Thu, 16 May 2024 08:00:00 +0000 Scott DeLuzio https://permalink.castos.com/podcast/2296/episode/1714099 This episode dives into the captivating journey of Leah Stiles, a retired senior chief mass communication specialist from the US Navy and the founder/CEO of a nonprofit aimed at addressing eating disorders within the military community. Covering topics from the unique challenges and responsibilities of military communication specialists to the often-overlooked issue of eating disorders among service members, this episode sheds light on both Leah's personal story of determination and broader issues within the military. With the rising awareness of mental health and its impacts on operational readiness, Leah's insights into tackling eating disorders are not only provocative but essential. Her founding of a nonprofit to directly address these challenges provides hope and actionable solutions for service members facing similar struggles. Whether you're interested in military life's intricacies or the ongoing battle against eating disorders, Leah's story is both educational and inspiring.

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]]> full 386 false This episode dives into the captivating journey of Leah Stiles, a retired senior chief mass communication specialist from the US Navy and the founder/CEO of a nonprofit aimed at addressing eating disorders within the military community. Covering topics from the unique challenges and responsibilities of military communication specialists to the often-overlooked issue of eating disorders among service members, this episode sheds light on both Leah's personal story of determination and broader issues within the military. With the rising awareness of mental health and its impacts on operational readiness, Leah's insights into tackling eating disorders are not only provocative but essential. Her founding of a nonprofit to directly address these challenges provides hope and actionable solutions for service members facing similar struggles. Whether you're interested in military life's intricacies or the ongoing battle against eating disorders, Leah's story is both educational and inspiring.

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View the transcript for this episode.

]]> 00:53:58 <![CDATA[Navigating VA Disability Claims]]> Tue, 14 May 2024 08:00:00 +0000 Scott DeLuzio https://permalink.castos.com/podcast/2296/episode/1714091 In this episode, Monica Sanford, a Doctor of Nursing Practice and VA Disability Claims Examiner, offers insights into the VA disability claims process. Bringing over two decades of experience in acute care and a deep connection to the military community, Sanford discusses a wide range of topics, from eligibility for VA disability benefits to detailed advice for veterans preparing for their VA disability exams. This episode is essential for veterans and their families seeking to understand the complexities of the VA disability claims process, eligibility criteria, and how to effectively prepare for and navigate their exams. More than just a guide, it's a must-listen for anyone in the military community looking to gain knowledge about their rights and resources available through the VA.

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]]> full 385 false In this episode, Monica Sanford, a Doctor of Nursing Practice and VA Disability Claims Examiner, offers insights into the VA disability claims process. Bringing over two decades of experience in acute care and a deep connection to the military community, Sanford discusses a wide range of topics, from eligibility for VA disability benefits to detailed advice for veterans preparing for their VA disability exams. This episode is essential for veterans and their families seeking to understand the complexities of the VA disability claims process, eligibility criteria, and how to effectively prepare for and navigate their exams. More than just a guide, it's a must-listen for anyone in the military community looking to gain knowledge about their rights and resources available through the VA.

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View the transcript for this episode.

]]> 00:41:29 <![CDATA[The Journey of Resilience and Growth]]> Thu, 09 May 2024 08:00:00 +0000 Scott DeLuzio https://permalink.castos.com/podcast/2296/episode/1714087 This episode features Jeremy Hancock, a combat veteran who shares his deeply personal journey from struggling with PTSD and suicidal ideation to finding hope, healing, and post-traumatic growth. Jeremy's candid storytelling brings light to the numerous challenges he faced upon his return from service, including his battles with PTSD, vulnerability, survivor's remorse, and moral injury. A key part of Jeremy's recovery story involves exploring unconventional treatments, such as ketamine therapy, leading to significant personal growth and change. The conversation also delves into the importance of mental health awareness, seeking help, and the transformative power of reframing one's experiences from traumatic to growth-oriented. This episode is an inspiring call to action for veterans and others dealing with similar struggles, emphasizing the importance of talking, seeking help, and the potential for change and growth after trauma.

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]]> full 384 false This episode features Jeremy Hancock, a combat veteran who shares his deeply personal journey from struggling with PTSD and suicidal ideation to finding hope, healing, and post-traumatic growth. Jeremy's candid storytelling brings light to the numerous challenges he faced upon his return from service, including his battles with PTSD, vulnerability, survivor's remorse, and moral injury. A key part of Jeremy's recovery story involves exploring unconventional treatments, such as ketamine therapy, leading to significant personal growth and change. The conversation also delves into the importance of mental health awareness, seeking help, and the transformative power of reframing one's experiences from traumatic to growth-oriented. This episode is an inspiring call to action for veterans and others dealing with similar struggles, emphasizing the importance of talking, seeking help, and the potential for change and growth after trauma.

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View the transcript for this episode.

]]> 00:55:39 <![CDATA[Operation Homefront: Strength, Stability, and Secure Futures]]> Tue, 07 May 2024 08:00:00 +0000 Scott DeLuzio https://permalink.castos.com/podcast/2296/episode/1714083 This episode features Robert Thomas, a distinguished Air Force veteran with nearly 31 years of service and a key member of Operation Homefront's executive team. The conversation dives deep into Thomas's extensive military career, from flying C 141s and C 5s to his role in supporting the Operation Homefront mission. Listeners will learn about the impactful work being done to build strong, stable, and secure military families, ensuring they do not just barely get by, but thrive. Through stories of critical assistance, housing programs, and special initiatives like the Back to School Brigade, the episode paints a picture of the difference Operation Homefront is making in the lives of military families across the nation.

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View the transcript for this episode.

]]> full 383 false This episode features Robert Thomas, a distinguished Air Force veteran with nearly 31 years of service and a key member of Operation Homefront's executive team. The conversation dives deep into Thomas's extensive military career, from flying C 141s and C 5s to his role in supporting the Operation Homefront mission. Listeners will learn about the impactful work being done to build strong, stable, and secure military families, ensuring they do not just barely get by, but thrive. Through stories of critical assistance, housing programs, and special initiatives like the Back to School Brigade, the episode paints a picture of the difference Operation Homefront is making in the lives of military families across the nation.

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Transcript

View the transcript for this episode.

]]> 00:46:30 <![CDATA[Crafting Your Own Happiness]]> Thu, 02 May 2024 08:00:00 +0000 Scott DeLuzio https://permalink.castos.com/podcast/2296/episode/1714073 Bona Normandeau, host of the Happier You podcast and a happiness coach, shares her inspirational journey from a military career to discovering her own happiness. Bona discusses her mission-to empower individuals to find their own path to joy and resilience and confront their unique journeys with a greater sense of strength. She shares her experiences of coming to grips with life after military service, addressing feelings of being lost and her initial struggle to find her own joy and purpose. Bona talks about the significance of finding activities that 'make your soul sing' and encourages listeners to empower themselves and take control of their happiness by trying new things and fostering connections with like-minded individuals. As the host of the Happier You podcast, she shares insights into creating happiness challenges, appreciating the little things in life, and the importance of finding a support system to share and grow with.

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]]> full 382 false Bona Normandeau, host of the Happier You podcast and a happiness coach, shares her inspirational journey from a military career to discovering her own happiness. Bona discusses her mission-to empower individuals to find their own path to joy and resilience and confront their unique journeys with a greater sense of strength. She shares her experiences of coming to grips with life after military service, addressing feelings of being lost and her initial struggle to find her own joy and purpose. Bona talks about the significance of finding activities that 'make your soul sing' and encourages listeners to empower themselves and take control of their happiness by trying new things and fostering connections with like-minded individuals. As the host of the Happier You podcast, she shares insights into creating happiness challenges, appreciating the little things in life, and the importance of finding a support system to share and grow with.

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Transcript

View the transcript for this episode.

]]> 00:56:16 <![CDATA[Veteran Mental Health, Military Experiences, and Film 'Tribal']]> Tue, 30 Apr 2024 08:00:00 +0000 Scott DeLuzio https://permalink.castos.com/podcast/2296/episode/1678522 Mark Kershaw dives deep into discussions around veteran mental health, military experiences, and his documentary 'Tribal'. A passionate advocate for veterans' mental health and a creator of the documentary 'Tribal', Mark has a unique perspective on the importance of destigmatizing mental health struggles, addressing the rise of suicide rates among service members and fostering a sense of community among veterans. The episode provides eye-opening insights for both veterans and civilians and encourages open conversations about often-taboo topics like trauma and societal integration after service. It is a must-listen for anyone interested in understanding the experiences of veterans, the obstacles they face in society, and the steps we can take to support them appropriately. 00:00 Introduction to Mark Kershaw 07:31 Discussion on documentary 'Tribal' 37:54 Integrating back into society post-service 46:20 Mental health in the military and the importance of speaking up

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]]> full 381 false Mark Kershaw dives deep into discussions around veteran mental health, military experiences, and his documentary 'Tribal'. A passionate advocate for veterans' mental health and a creator of the documentary 'Tribal', Mark has a unique perspective on the importance of destigmatizing mental health struggles, addressing the rise of suicide rates among service members and fostering a sense of community among veterans. The episode provides eye-opening insights for both veterans and civilians and encourages open conversations about often-taboo topics like trauma and societal integration after service. It is a must-listen for anyone interested in understanding the experiences of veterans, the obstacles they face in society, and the steps we can take to support them appropriately. 00:00 Introduction to Mark Kershaw 07:31 Discussion on documentary 'Tribal' 37:54 Integrating back into society post-service 46:20 Mental health in the military and the importance of speaking up

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Transcript

View the transcript for this episode.

]]> 01:08:58 <![CDATA[Resilience, Perseverance, and Inner Strength]]> Thu, 25 Apr 2024 08:00:00 +0000 Scott DeLuzio https://permalink.castos.com/podcast/2296/episode/1678132 In this episode, our guest is Josh Thompson, a former Army Air Defense Artillery Captain. Thompson shares his powerful testament to the transformative power of inner strength. He discusses his inspiring journey, from battling toxic work environments and chronic health issues to achieving healing and personal breakthroughs. Despite the grueling adversities he's faced, Josh turned his life around, offering inspiration and hope for listeners facing similar challenges. His impactful experiences make for an enlightening conversation on the necessity of self-advocacy, the significance of maintaining one's mental and physical health, the value of faith, learning to cope with anxiety, and the importance of a positive mindset. This episode explores various topics, including leveraging adversities to grow personally and professionally, making it a must-listen for vets, self-improvement enthusiasts, and anyone looking to break through life's obstacles.

00:00 Introduction to the Drive On Podcast 00:25 Guest Introduction: Josh Thompson 00:40 Josh's Journey: Overcoming Adversity 01:26 Josh's Military Experience: Struggles and Impact 03:15 The Deployment: Challenges and Mental Health Impact 05:16 The Aftermath: Dealing with Toxic Leadership 06:43 Josh's Health Issues: The Struggle for Diagnosis 17:58 The Importance of Self-Advocacy in Healthcare 22:04 Coping Mechanisms: Cognitive Behavioral Therapy and Mindfulness 27:45 The Power of Positive Mindset and Transformation 37:13 The Power of Helping Others 38:45 The Importance of Self-Care in Survival Mode 41:02 The Role of Faith in Overcoming Struggles 43:16 The Impact of Personal Struggles on Faith 49:14 The Importance of Prioritizing Self in Helping Others 01:00:09 Closing Thoughts and Humorous Segment 01:00:51 The Power of Perseverance in Overcoming Trials

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View the transcript for this episode.

]]> full 380 false In this episode, our guest is Josh Thompson, a former Army Air Defense Artillery Captain. Thompson shares his powerful testament to the transformative power of inner strength. He discusses his inspiring journey, from battling toxic work environments and chronic health issues to achieving healing and personal breakthroughs. Despite the grueling adversities he's faced, Josh turned his life around, offering inspiration and hope for listeners facing similar challenges. His impactful experiences make for an enlightening conversation on the necessity of self-advocacy, the significance of maintaining one's mental and physical health, the value of faith, learning to cope with anxiety, and the importance of a positive mindset. This episode explores various topics, including leveraging adversities to grow personally and professionally, making it a must-listen for vets, self-improvement enthusiasts, and anyone looking to break through life's obstacles.

00:00 Introduction to the Drive On Podcast 00:25 Guest Introduction: Josh Thompson 00:40 Josh's Journey: Overcoming Adversity 01:26 Josh's Military Experience: Struggles and Impact 03:15 The Deployment: Challenges and Mental Health Impact 05:16 The Aftermath: Dealing with Toxic Leadership 06:43 Josh's Health Issues: The Struggle for Diagnosis 17:58 The Importance of Self-Advocacy in Healthcare 22:04 Coping Mechanisms: Cognitive Behavioral Therapy and Mindfulness 27:45 The Power of Positive Mindset and Transformation 37:13 The Power of Helping Others 38:45 The Importance of Self-Care in Survival Mode 41:02 The Role of Faith in Overcoming Struggles 43:16 The Impact of Personal Struggles on Faith 49:14 The Importance of Prioritizing Self in Helping Others 01:00:09 Closing Thoughts and Humorous Segment 01:00:51 The Power of Perseverance in Overcoming Trials

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Transcript

View the transcript for this episode.

]]> 01:07:17 <![CDATA[Combatting PTSD and Building Resilience]]> Tue, 23 Apr 2024 08:00:00 +0000 Scott DeLuzio https://permalink.castos.com/podcast/2296/episode/1668455 In this episode, our guest, Thyron Heyward, a Navy veteran and mental health advocate, openly discusses his powerful journey of resilience and transformation. Suffering from PTSD after his services in Desert Storm, Thyron embarked on an arduous journey of healing and self-discovery. Today, he holds a master's degree in clinical counseling psychology, and runs a coaching and mentoring business dedicated to aiding veterans who might be facing similar challenges. During the conversation, Thryon shares his experiences, strategies, and tools for overcoming the issues faced specifically by veterans after military service. Exploring topics like the significance of community, mindfulness, and alternative therapies like yoga and acupuncture, the episode provides insights into rebuilding life after service. Tune in to understand how reshaping perceptions about mental health and actively seeking help can lead to transformational changes.

00:00 Introduction to Thyron Heyward 02:37 Impacts of Military Service - Personal Experiences 10:13 Aftermath of Service - Overcoming PTSD 13:32 Personal Growth & Self-Discovery 19:44 Mental Health Advocacy - Helping Others 54:30 Breaking the Stigma & Importance of Seeking Help

Links & Resources

Transcript

View the transcript for this episode.

]]> full 379 false In this episode, our guest, Thyron Heyward, a Navy veteran and mental health advocate, openly discusses his powerful journey of resilience and transformation. Suffering from PTSD after his services in Desert Storm, Thyron embarked on an arduous journey of healing and self-discovery. Today, he holds a master's degree in clinical counseling psychology, and runs a coaching and mentoring business dedicated to aiding veterans who might be facing similar challenges. During the conversation, Thryon shares his experiences, strategies, and tools for overcoming the issues faced specifically by veterans after military service. Exploring topics like the significance of community, mindfulness, and alternative therapies like yoga and acupuncture, the episode provides insights into rebuilding life after service. Tune in to understand how reshaping perceptions about mental health and actively seeking help can lead to transformational changes.

00:00 Introduction to Thyron Heyward 02:37 Impacts of Military Service - Personal Experiences 10:13 Aftermath of Service - Overcoming PTSD 13:32 Personal Growth & Self-Discovery 19:44 Mental Health Advocacy - Helping Others 54:30 Breaking the Stigma & Importance of Seeking Help

Links & Resources

Transcript

View the transcript for this episode.

]]> 01:15:26 <![CDATA[Unleashing Forgiveness]]> Thu, 18 Apr 2024 08:00:00 +0000 Scott DeLuzio https://permalink.castos.com/podcast/2296/episode/1667040 In this episode, our guest is Katharine Giovanni. Katharine is dedicated to helping others unlock the transformative power of forgiveness based on her personal journey marked by adversity, including her own battle with breast cancer, a tough childhood, and her husband's status as a disabled veteran. Despite these obstacles, she discovered the importance of forgiveness on her mental and physical well-being. She passionately shares her insights with others through her book, 'The Ultimate Path to Forgiveness: Unlocking Your Power.' In this podcast, Katharine delves into the importance of forgiveness, how to navigate the journey of forgiveness, and why it's crucial for living a fulfilling life. We also discuss topics like how forgiving others affects our physical and mental health, why some things are unforgivable, the importance of gratitude, and how to handle unforgivable scenarios. Tune in to gain perspective on the power of forgiveness and to learn how forgiveness can transform your life.

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Transcript

View the transcript for this episode.

]]> full 378 false In this episode, our guest is Katharine Giovanni. Katharine is dedicated to helping others unlock the transformative power of forgiveness based on her personal journey marked by adversity, including her own battle with breast cancer, a tough childhood, and her husband's status as a disabled veteran. Despite these obstacles, she discovered the importance of forgiveness on her mental and physical well-being. She passionately shares her insights with others through her book, 'The Ultimate Path to Forgiveness: Unlocking Your Power.' In this podcast, Katharine delves into the importance of forgiveness, how to navigate the journey of forgiveness, and why it's crucial for living a fulfilling life. We also discuss topics like how forgiving others affects our physical and mental health, why some things are unforgivable, the importance of gratitude, and how to handle unforgivable scenarios. Tune in to gain perspective on the power of forgiveness and to learn how forgiveness can transform your life.

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Transcript

View the transcript for this episode.

]]> 00:51:25 <![CDATA[Understanding Secondary Trauma and Family Healing]]> Tue, 16 Apr 2024 08:00:00 +0000 Scott DeLuzio https://permalink.castos.com/podcast/2296/episode/1662057 In this episode, we are joined by Dr. Michael Barnes, an expert in addiction counseling, trauma-integrated treatments, and family therapy. Drawing from over forty years of experience, Dr. Barnes brings a wealth of knowledge about the complex interplay of addiction, trauma, and family dynamics. He passionately discusses the concept of secondary trauma and its impact on the family members and caregivers of individuals who have experienced trauma. Furthermore, he emphasizes the importance of open communication and understanding in facilitating family healing, as well as the pivotal role of therapy and education in the process.

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Transcript

View the transcript for this episode.

]]> full 377 false In this episode, we are joined by Dr. Michael Barnes, an expert in addiction counseling, trauma-integrated treatments, and family therapy. Drawing from over forty years of experience, Dr. Barnes brings a wealth of knowledge about the complex interplay of addiction, trauma, and family dynamics. He passionately discusses the concept of secondary trauma and its impact on the family members and caregivers of individuals who have experienced trauma. Furthermore, he emphasizes the importance of open communication and understanding in facilitating family healing, as well as the pivotal role of therapy and education in the process.

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Transcript

View the transcript for this episode.

]]> 01:08:35 <![CDATA[Military Transition and Entrepreneurship]]> Thu, 11 Apr 2024 08:00:00 +0000 Scott DeLuzio https://permalink.castos.com/podcast/2296/episode/1662001 Sean Knudsen, an army veteran turned consultant for veterans and entrepreneurs, discusses his experiences during his transition from active duty into entrepreneurship. Sean provides insightful explanations about what he does, how he got there, and the challenges he faced. His experiences illustrate the importance of finding the right life and career path after leaving the military, and how his role as a coach helps guide individuals towards their business goals. This episode also contains helpful tips and strategies for anyone looking to start or grow their own business, including the importance of discovering your ideal lifestyle, determining associated costs, and building a business around it. Sean's entrepreneurial journey, coupled with his expert advice, offers a fascinating perspective for both veterans and aspiring entrepreneurs alike.

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Transcript

View the transcript for this episode.

]]> full 376 false Sean Knudsen, an army veteran turned consultant for veterans and entrepreneurs, discusses his experiences during his transition from active duty into entrepreneurship. Sean provides insightful explanations about what he does, how he got there, and the challenges he faced. His experiences illustrate the importance of finding the right life and career path after leaving the military, and how his role as a coach helps guide individuals towards their business goals. This episode also contains helpful tips and strategies for anyone looking to start or grow their own business, including the importance of discovering your ideal lifestyle, determining associated costs, and building a business around it. Sean's entrepreneurial journey, coupled with his expert advice, offers a fascinating perspective for both veterans and aspiring entrepreneurs alike.

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Transcript

View the transcript for this episode.

]]> 01:01:39 <![CDATA[Transforming Military Experience into a Life of Purpose]]> Tue, 09 Apr 2024 08:00:00 +0000 Scott DeLuzio https://permalink.castos.com/podcast/2296/episode/1661671 In this episode, army veteran, caregiver, and entrepreneur Zorina Pritchett shares her inspiring journey. Zorina sheds light on her experience transitioning from active duty to reserves, managing her own disability, and then taking on the role of a caregiver for her brother. Zorina also discusses the significance of maintaining structure and discipline from her military experience and how she applied these attributes in her role as a caregiver. Furthermore, Zorina maps out her entrepreneurship journey with her company, Zochey, where she designs educational products aimed at strengthening bonds within busy families without resorting to extensive screen time.

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Transcript

View the transcript for this episode.

]]> full 375 false In this episode, army veteran, caregiver, and entrepreneur Zorina Pritchett shares her inspiring journey. Zorina sheds light on her experience transitioning from active duty to reserves, managing her own disability, and then taking on the role of a caregiver for her brother. Zorina also discusses the significance of maintaining structure and discipline from her military experience and how she applied these attributes in her role as a caregiver. Furthermore, Zorina maps out her entrepreneurship journey with her company, Zochey, where she designs educational products aimed at strengthening bonds within busy families without resorting to extensive screen time.

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Transcript

View the transcript for this episode.

]]> 00:54:52 <![CDATA[Emotional Intelligence in Law Enforcement and the Military]]> Thu, 04 Apr 2024 08:00:00 +0000 Scott DeLuzio https://permalink.castos.com/podcast/2296/episode/1660843 In this episode, we look at the importance of emotional intelligence in law enforcement and the military with seasoned police officer and founder of Reid Solutions, Gene Reid. The discussion explores how emotional intelligence permeates several facets of these professions, from managing emotions in high-stress situations to cultivating self-awareness and building relationships. Gene shares his perspective on how physical fitness and leadership intersect with emotional intelligence and the benefits it affords in terms of personal growth and effectiveness. With Gene's expertise in emotional intelligence, listeners can learn about tailoring their approach to challenging situations and acquiring the confidence to lead under pressure. His insights are invaluable not only to those in law enforcement and the military but anyone aiming to enhance their leadership skills and self-awareness.

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Transcript

View the transcript for this episode.

]]> full 374 false In this episode, we look at the importance of emotional intelligence in law enforcement and the military with seasoned police officer and founder of Reid Solutions, Gene Reid. The discussion explores how emotional intelligence permeates several facets of these professions, from managing emotions in high-stress situations to cultivating self-awareness and building relationships. Gene shares his perspective on how physical fitness and leadership intersect with emotional intelligence and the benefits it affords in terms of personal growth and effectiveness. With Gene's expertise in emotional intelligence, listeners can learn about tailoring their approach to challenging situations and acquiring the confidence to lead under pressure. His insights are invaluable not only to those in law enforcement and the military but anyone aiming to enhance their leadership skills and self-awareness.

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Transcript

View the transcript for this episode.

]]> 00:58:55 <![CDATA[Missile Attacks, TBIs, and New Beginnings]]> Tue, 02 Apr 2024 08:00:00 +0000 Scott DeLuzio https://permalink.castos.com/podcast/2296/episode/1659267 In this episode, army veteran Aaron Futrell shares an in-depth recounting of his dramatic life-altering experience following a missile strike on Al Asad Air Base in January 2020. This story unfolds Futrell's resilience and determination as he navigated from recovering from a traumatic brain injury to transitioning to civilian life after being medically retired from the army. Despite adversities, hear how Aaron channeled his passion for fishing into a successful business and his unwavering commitment to giving back to fellow veterans through voluntary initiatives. Tune in for an inspirational journey of hope, strength, and resilience that perfectly captures the essence of the military community.

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Transcript

View the transcript for this episode.

]]> full 373 false In this episode, army veteran Aaron Futrell shares an in-depth recounting of his dramatic life-altering experience following a missile strike on Al Asad Air Base in January 2020. This story unfolds Futrell's resilience and determination as he navigated from recovering from a traumatic brain injury to transitioning to civilian life after being medically retired from the army. Despite adversities, hear how Aaron channeled his passion for fishing into a successful business and his unwavering commitment to giving back to fellow veterans through voluntary initiatives. Tune in for an inspirational journey of hope, strength, and resilience that perfectly captures the essence of the military community.

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Transcript

View the transcript for this episode.

]]> 00:38:03 <![CDATA[Understanding Medicare & VA Benefits]]> Thu, 28 Mar 2024 08:00:00 +0000 Scott DeLuzio https://permalink.castos.com/podcast/2296/episode/1659217 In this episode, Toni King, a passionate educator in the complexities of Medicare, shares her insights to help veterans understand how Medicare works and how it blends with Veterans Affairs benefits. Toni underlines the fact that Medicare does not offer a 'cookie cutter' solution, with alternatives varying according to individual needs. The episode includes definitions of Medicare Part A to D, annual enrollment period, Medicare penalties, necessity of health consultations and much more. With firsthand experience of VA benefits, Toni offers a balanced view on navigating these every day healthcare concerns. Whether you are a veteran, a loved one of a veteran, or basically anyone trying to navigate the complex world of medical benefits, this episode is a must-listen.

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Transcript

View the transcript for this episode.

]]> full 372 false In this episode, Toni King, a passionate educator in the complexities of Medicare, shares her insights to help veterans understand how Medicare works and how it blends with Veterans Affairs benefits. Toni underlines the fact that Medicare does not offer a 'cookie cutter' solution, with alternatives varying according to individual needs. The episode includes definitions of Medicare Part A to D, annual enrollment period, Medicare penalties, necessity of health consultations and much more. With firsthand experience of VA benefits, Toni offers a balanced view on navigating these every day healthcare concerns. Whether you are a veteran, a loved one of a veteran, or basically anyone trying to navigate the complex world of medical benefits, this episode is a must-listen.

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Transcript

View the transcript for this episode.

]]> 00:51:09 <![CDATA[The Value of Military Leadership Skills in Civilian Life]]> Tue, 26 Mar 2024 08:00:00 +0000 Scott DeLuzio https://permalink.castos.com/podcast/2296/episode/1659188 In this episode, distinguished army veteran, trial lawyer, and CEO of Berry Law, John Berry, shares insightful stories about his military career, including service in Bosnia and Iraq. John emphasizes the importance of soldier camaraderie, team building, and transitioning military lessons to civilian life. He also highlights how his law firm has been helping fellow veterans in service-related disputes, advocating for their right to benefits and fair treatment. Further, this episode reminds military community members of their inherent leadership abilities and the importance of applying these skills in the civilian world. So whether you're a veteran, active duty, or a family member, listen to this episode to learn about your rights. 00:00 Introduction 04:07 Challenges and Growth in Leadership 09:33 The Power of Team Building 16:51 The Importance of Hiring the Right People 20:36 The Impact of Military Training on Individual Growth 34:35 Transitioning from Military to Civilian Life: The Mindset Shift 35:43 Introducing the Veteran-Led Podcast 42:39 Addressing the Issue of Veteran Suicide and the Importance of Support 43:34 The Duty of Veterans to Give Back and Help Others 49:06 Understanding VA Disability Claims and Legal Representation 57:35 The Value of Legal Representation in VA Disability Claims 01:01:41 The Role of Leadership in Preventing Misconduct 01:05:33 Conclusion: The Continued Service of Veterans

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Transcript

View the transcript for this episode.

]]> full 371 false In this episode, distinguished army veteran, trial lawyer, and CEO of Berry Law, John Berry, shares insightful stories about his military career, including service in Bosnia and Iraq. John emphasizes the importance of soldier camaraderie, team building, and transitioning military lessons to civilian life. He also highlights how his law firm has been helping fellow veterans in service-related disputes, advocating for their right to benefits and fair treatment. Further, this episode reminds military community members of their inherent leadership abilities and the importance of applying these skills in the civilian world. So whether you're a veteran, active duty, or a family member, listen to this episode to learn about your rights. 00:00 Introduction 04:07 Challenges and Growth in Leadership 09:33 The Power of Team Building 16:51 The Importance of Hiring the Right People 20:36 The Impact of Military Training on Individual Growth 34:35 Transitioning from Military to Civilian Life: The Mindset Shift 35:43 Introducing the Veteran-Led Podcast 42:39 Addressing the Issue of Veteran Suicide and the Importance of Support 43:34 The Duty of Veterans to Give Back and Help Others 49:06 Understanding VA Disability Claims and Legal Representation 57:35 The Value of Legal Representation in VA Disability Claims 01:01:41 The Role of Leadership in Preventing Misconduct 01:05:33 Conclusion: The Continued Service of Veterans

Links & Resources

Transcript

View the transcript for this episode.

]]> 01:06:38 <![CDATA[Honor Flights Celebrating Our Heroes]]> Thu, 21 Mar 2024 08:00:00 +0000 Scott DeLuzio https://permalink.castos.com/podcast/2296/episode/1657247 In this episode, guests Stephen Garrington and Jim Carson share their rewarding work with Honor Flight Network, an organization dedicated to helping veterans visit war memorials in Washington, D.C. Both Stephen and Jim are veterans themselves focused on honoring the service and sacrifices of former military personnel from the Vietnam, Korea, and World War II generations. The discussion covers the impactful experiences of the veterans partaking in these Honor Flights, the process to participate, and the emotional significance of the visits to the memorials. The conversation also includes the universal military experiences that connect veterans across eras and service branches. Listen to this episode to gain a deep understanding of the honor flights and how they serve to appreciate and acknowledge the service of veterans. 00:00 Introduction & Purpose of the Show 00:25 Introduction of the Guests: Stephen Garrington and Jim Carson 00:35 What is 'Honor Flights' 06:03 Setting Up a Hub for Honor Flights 35:09 How Veterans Can Apply for Honor Flights 09:33 Experiences of Veterans on Honor Flights 37:26 Importance of Honor Flights for Veterans 28:00 How to Volunteer for Honor Flights 40:17 Humorous End Segment: 'Is it service connected?'

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Transcript

View the transcript for this episode.

]]> full 370 false In this episode, guests Stephen Garrington and Jim Carson share their rewarding work with Honor Flight Network, an organization dedicated to helping veterans visit war memorials in Washington, D.C. Both Stephen and Jim are veterans themselves focused on honoring the service and sacrifices of former military personnel from the Vietnam, Korea, and World War II generations. The discussion covers the impactful experiences of the veterans partaking in these Honor Flights, the process to participate, and the emotional significance of the visits to the memorials. The conversation also includes the universal military experiences that connect veterans across eras and service branches. Listen to this episode to gain a deep understanding of the honor flights and how they serve to appreciate and acknowledge the service of veterans. 00:00 Introduction & Purpose of the Show 00:25 Introduction of the Guests: Stephen Garrington and Jim Carson 00:35 What is 'Honor Flights' 06:03 Setting Up a Hub for Honor Flights 35:09 How Veterans Can Apply for Honor Flights 09:33 Experiences of Veterans on Honor Flights 37:26 Importance of Honor Flights for Veterans 28:00 How to Volunteer for Honor Flights 40:17 Humorous End Segment: 'Is it service connected?'

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Transcript

View the transcript for this episode.

]]> 00:43:54 <![CDATA[Connection between Trauma, Biology, and Mental Health]]> Tue, 19 Mar 2024 08:02:00 +0000 Scott DeLuzio https://permalink.castos.com/podcast/2296/episode/1654930 In this episode, we look at the relationship between trauma, biology, and mental health with guest and expert Michelle Brown. Michelle is a functional nutrition and lifestyle practitioner, clinical herbalist, and a master level Biology of Trauma advanced provider. This conversation covers the understanding of the trauma response, its impact on our health, and the crucial role that proper nutrition plays in addressing these chronic health issues. Learn about how our body and nervous system react to stress and how these responses can often lead to conditions like anxiety, depression, and fatigue. It's an enlightening discussion that offers insights into the intricate connection between trauma and mental health, proving invaluable for anyone dealing with stress or looking to better understand the effects of trauma on their life and health.

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Transcript

View the transcript for this episode.

]]> full 369 false In this episode, we look at the relationship between trauma, biology, and mental health with guest and expert Michelle Brown. Michelle is a functional nutrition and lifestyle practitioner, clinical herbalist, and a master level Biology of Trauma advanced provider. This conversation covers the understanding of the trauma response, its impact on our health, and the crucial role that proper nutrition plays in addressing these chronic health issues. Learn about how our body and nervous system react to stress and how these responses can often lead to conditions like anxiety, depression, and fatigue. It's an enlightening discussion that offers insights into the intricate connection between trauma and mental health, proving invaluable for anyone dealing with stress or looking to better understand the effects of trauma on their life and health.

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Transcript

View the transcript for this episode.

]]> 00:54:43 <![CDATA[Empowering Veterans Through Sailing]]> Thu, 14 Mar 2024 08:00:00 +0000 Scott DeLuzio https://permalink.castos.com/podcast/2296/episode/1653883 In this episode, we have an enlightening conversation with Sean Duclay, co-founder of Sail Ahead, an organization that fuses the healing power of sailing with a mission to raise awareness about post-traumatic stress disorder (PTSD) and veteran suicide. Sean shares valuable insights about the birth of Sail Ahead, the impact it has had on empowering veterans, and some deeply touching experiences he has had with veterans who have taken part in Sail Ahead programs. The episode tells of how Sean is using sailing as a therapeutic avenue for veterans, helping them reconnect with their communities and find hope and strength. It also highlights the importance of general awareness about veteran suicide. This episode is a vital listen for anyone interested in creative therapeutic methods, veteran recovery, and the power of community engagement. 00:27 Introduction and Overview of Sail Ahead 01:34 Sean Duclay's Inspiration and Journey 03:45 Impact and Real-life Experiences 09:02 Importance of Teamwork and Connection 15:07 Programs and Events Conducted by Sail Ahead 06:01 Moving Stories of Impact & Value of Community 25:17 The Way Forward and How to Contribute

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]]> full 368 false In this episode, we have an enlightening conversation with Sean Duclay, co-founder of Sail Ahead, an organization that fuses the healing power of sailing with a mission to raise awareness about post-traumatic stress disorder (PTSD) and veteran suicide. Sean shares valuable insights about the birth of Sail Ahead, the impact it has had on empowering veterans, and some deeply touching experiences he has had with veterans who have taken part in Sail Ahead programs. The episode tells of how Sean is using sailing as a therapeutic avenue for veterans, helping them reconnect with their communities and find hope and strength. It also highlights the importance of general awareness about veteran suicide. This episode is a vital listen for anyone interested in creative therapeutic methods, veteran recovery, and the power of community engagement. 00:27 Introduction and Overview of Sail Ahead 01:34 Sean Duclay's Inspiration and Journey 03:45 Impact and Real-life Experiences 09:02 Importance of Teamwork and Connection 15:07 Programs and Events Conducted by Sail Ahead 06:01 Moving Stories of Impact & Value of Community 25:17 The Way Forward and How to Contribute

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Transcript

View the transcript for this episode.

]]> 00:55:29 <![CDATA[Gold Star Dad Shares a Heartfelt Story]]> Tue, 12 Mar 2024 08:00:00 +0000 Scott DeLuzio https://permalink.castos.com/podcast/2296/episode/1641091 Karl Porfirio, a Gold Star father, joins us to share how he turned his grief into a poignant children's book, 'My Daddy's Heart is Purple.'

Karl offers a heartrending account of the loss of his son, Senior Airman Tre Porfirio, and shares stories filled with laughter, tears, and moments of inspiration. While discussing Tre's military legacy, Karl also unpacks the ups and downs of his journey through grief, providing a unique perspective on loss, remembrance, and resilience.

The episode concludes with an uplifting note about the importance of keeping the memory of veterans alive for future generations. This deeply emotional conversation will resonate with anyone who has experienced loss or is interested in the personal stories behind military service.

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]]> full 367 false Karl Porfirio, a Gold Star father, joins us to share how he turned his grief into a poignant children's book, 'My Daddy's Heart is Purple.'

Karl offers a heartrending account of the loss of his son, Senior Airman Tre Porfirio, and shares stories filled with laughter, tears, and moments of inspiration. While discussing Tre's military legacy, Karl also unpacks the ups and downs of his journey through grief, providing a unique perspective on loss, remembrance, and resilience.

The episode concludes with an uplifting note about the importance of keeping the memory of veterans alive for future generations. This deeply emotional conversation will resonate with anyone who has experienced loss or is interested in the personal stories behind military service.

Support the Show

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Transcript

View the transcript for this episode.

]]> 01:13:30 <![CDATA[Benefits of Ketamine Infusion Therapy]]> Thu, 07 Mar 2024 08:00:00 +0000 Scott DeLuzio https://permalink.castos.com/podcast/2296/episode/1636039 In this episode, we look into Ketamine infusion therapy with our guest, Sam Mandel, the co-founder and CEO of Ketamine Clinics Los Angeles. With his strong dedication to mental health advocacy, Sam discusses Ketamine infusion therapy. This treatment method offers relief for a variety of mental health conditions, including depression, PTSD, anxiety, and suicidal tendencies. The conversation provides insights into how Ketamine Clinics Los Angeles sets itself apart with its treatment approach. They also discuss the function of ketamine and how it works within the human body to remedy mental health challenges. Subsequently, Sam elaborates on how patients engage with the process and the impressive success rate of the clinic. Finally, he provides valuable advice on seeking out reputable ketamine therapy clinics. You will get an insider's look into this innovative therapy that provides rapid, effective results with minimal side effects. 00:00 Introduction 00:16 Understanding Ketamine Infusion Therapy 01:34 Exploring Diverse Uses of Ketamine 03:54 The Actual Process and Care in Ketamine Infusion 03:33 Benefits and Duration of Ketamine Infusion Therapy 09:20 Features of an Ideal Candidate for Ketamine Infusion Therapy 24:24 Advice for Potential Therapy Seekers

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Transcript

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]]> full 366 false In this episode, we look into Ketamine infusion therapy with our guest, Sam Mandel, the co-founder and CEO of Ketamine Clinics Los Angeles. With his strong dedication to mental health advocacy, Sam discusses Ketamine infusion therapy. This treatment method offers relief for a variety of mental health conditions, including depression, PTSD, anxiety, and suicidal tendencies. The conversation provides insights into how Ketamine Clinics Los Angeles sets itself apart with its treatment approach. They also discuss the function of ketamine and how it works within the human body to remedy mental health challenges. Subsequently, Sam elaborates on how patients engage with the process and the impressive success rate of the clinic. Finally, he provides valuable advice on seeking out reputable ketamine therapy clinics. You will get an insider's look into this innovative therapy that provides rapid, effective results with minimal side effects. 00:00 Introduction 00:16 Understanding Ketamine Infusion Therapy 01:34 Exploring Diverse Uses of Ketamine 03:54 The Actual Process and Care in Ketamine Infusion 03:33 Benefits and Duration of Ketamine Infusion Therapy 09:20 Features of an Ideal Candidate for Ketamine Infusion Therapy 24:24 Advice for Potential Therapy Seekers

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Transcript

View the transcript for this episode.

]]> 00:39:10 <![CDATA[Dancing towards Better Mental Health]]> Tue, 05 Mar 2024 08:00:00 +0000 Scott DeLuzio https://permalink.castos.com/podcast/2296/episode/1629908 Jennifer Nash, an executive coach and passionate ballroom dancer, provides an enlightening perspective on dance as a therapeutic, social, and competitive activity. She shares her revealing experience of picking up ballroom dancing post-divorce, a journey that led her to discover its immense potential for healing, self-discovery, and community building. She emphasizes the dance floor's innate power to uplift mood, alleviate stress, foster connections, and drive mental well-being. She further touches upon its inclusivity by exploring the opportunities it offers for individuals with diverse mobility and social preferences. Anyone looking for a unique perspective on alternative therapeutic activities, the power of community, or effective ways to handle the stresses of life transitions may find this conversation insightful. 00:25 The Healing Power of Dance 00:28 Ballroom Dancing - A Social Connector and Mood Booster 25:09 Ballroom Dancing for Individuals with Various Abilities 36:16 Dance as a Tool to Improve Communication

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]]> full 365 false Jennifer Nash, an executive coach and passionate ballroom dancer, provides an enlightening perspective on dance as a therapeutic, social, and competitive activity. She shares her revealing experience of picking up ballroom dancing post-divorce, a journey that led her to discover its immense potential for healing, self-discovery, and community building. She emphasizes the dance floor's innate power to uplift mood, alleviate stress, foster connections, and drive mental well-being. She further touches upon its inclusivity by exploring the opportunities it offers for individuals with diverse mobility and social preferences. Anyone looking for a unique perspective on alternative therapeutic activities, the power of community, or effective ways to handle the stresses of life transitions may find this conversation insightful. 00:25 The Healing Power of Dance 00:28 Ballroom Dancing - A Social Connector and Mood Booster 25:09 Ballroom Dancing for Individuals with Various Abilities 36:16 Dance as a Tool to Improve Communication

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Transcript

View the transcript for this episode.

]]> 00:46:53 <![CDATA[Insider View of Veterans Appeals Process]]> Thu, 29 Feb 2024 08:00:00 +0000 Scott DeLuzio https://permalink.castos.com/podcast/2296/episode/1629247 In this episode, we are joined by Cheri Mason, a distinguished attorney who dedicated years of service to the Department of Veterans Affairs. Cheri's career includes becoming the first woman and military spouse to be Chairman of the Board of Veterans Appeals. The discussion focuses primarily on the inner workings of the Veterans' Appeals process and the improvements made to streamline and enhance the system. Cheri also opens up about her family's experience with suicide and the importance of open dialogue around mental health in society. She offers valuable resources for suicide prevention and the importance of seeking help when needed. Additionally, she provides a sneak peek into her upcoming book, 'Dare to Relate, Leading with a Fierce Heart' and shares the profound lessons she learned in her leadership journey. This episode is a valuable resource for those seeking a better understanding of Veteran's benefits, mental health challenges, and leadership.

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View the transcript for this episode.

]]> full 364 false In this episode, we are joined by Cheri Mason, a distinguished attorney who dedicated years of service to the Department of Veterans Affairs. Cheri's career includes becoming the first woman and military spouse to be Chairman of the Board of Veterans Appeals. The discussion focuses primarily on the inner workings of the Veterans' Appeals process and the improvements made to streamline and enhance the system. Cheri also opens up about her family's experience with suicide and the importance of open dialogue around mental health in society. She offers valuable resources for suicide prevention and the importance of seeking help when needed. Additionally, she provides a sneak peek into her upcoming book, 'Dare to Relate, Leading with a Fierce Heart' and shares the profound lessons she learned in her leadership journey. This episode is a valuable resource for those seeking a better understanding of Veteran's benefits, mental health challenges, and leadership.

Support the Show

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Transcript

View the transcript for this episode.

]]> 00:55:13 <![CDATA[Empowering Veterans Through Writing]]> Tue, 27 Feb 2024 08:23:00 +0000 Scott DeLuzio https://permalink.castos.com/podcast/2296/episode/1624911 In this episode, our guest, Jeff Circle, a veteran author, award-winning journalist, and creator of 'The Writers Dossier,' shares his extraordinary journey. From serving in the army to becoming a professional writer, Jeff's path has been anything but ordinary. Highlighting his experiences from the jungles of Korea to the burn pits of Iraq, and the corporate world, he discusses stepping into the daunting world of writing and how he found solidarity in the process. We explore Jeff's advice for aspiring writers and his aim to assist them through 'The Writers Dossier.' This episode is an insightful look into the trials, tribulations, and triumphs that come with changing careers post-military service.

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View the transcript for this episode.

]]> full 363 false In this episode, our guest, Jeff Circle, a veteran author, award-winning journalist, and creator of 'The Writers Dossier,' shares his extraordinary journey. From serving in the army to becoming a professional writer, Jeff's path has been anything but ordinary. Highlighting his experiences from the jungles of Korea to the burn pits of Iraq, and the corporate world, he discusses stepping into the daunting world of writing and how he found solidarity in the process. We explore Jeff's advice for aspiring writers and his aim to assist them through 'The Writers Dossier.' This episode is an insightful look into the trials, tribulations, and triumphs that come with changing careers post-military service.

Support the Show

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Transcript

View the transcript for this episode.

]]> 01:09:09 <![CDATA[Military Service, Mental Health, and Healing]]> Thu, 22 Feb 2024 08:00:00 +0000 Scott DeLuzio https://permalink.castos.com/podcast/2296/episode/1624673 In this episode, our guest is Navy Veteran Kristof Morrow. He shares his experiences in the military, and specifically the lasting effect of his shipmate's suicide on his life. We talk about handling mental health issues in the military, the hard road of grief, and steps toward suicide prevention. Kristof underscores the importance of a sympathetic and genuine approach when interacting with veterans struggling with mental health. The conversation includes how writing became an essential coping mechanism for him. This episode is essential for gaining more knowledge about mental health in the military context.

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]]> full 362 false In this episode, our guest is Navy Veteran Kristof Morrow. He shares his experiences in the military, and specifically the lasting effect of his shipmate's suicide on his life. We talk about handling mental health issues in the military, the hard road of grief, and steps toward suicide prevention. Kristof underscores the importance of a sympathetic and genuine approach when interacting with veterans struggling with mental health. The conversation includes how writing became an essential coping mechanism for him. This episode is essential for gaining more knowledge about mental health in the military context.

Support the Show

Links & Resources

Transcript

View the transcript for this episode.

]]> 01:07:44 <![CDATA[Finding Strength Through Transformation & Self Belief]]> Tue, 20 Feb 2024 08:00:00 +0000 Scott DeLuzio https://permalink.castos.com/podcast/2296/episode/1623045 Andrea Vallely, a transformational coach shares how she helps individuals navigate their state of mind towards better health and wellbeing. The conversation helps listeners understand the essence of self-acceptance, the power of a positive mindset, and techniques for transitioning from a state of worry to a state of calm.

Andrea brings to light the importance of breathing and physical activities, such as yoga, to help quiet the mind. She emphasizes the power of being okay with one's present state, focusing on improvement rather than dwelling on the past or future. This episode is an insightful guide for anyone looking to understand their own personal growth potential and how to create a solid foundation in life.

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Transcript

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]]> full 361 false Andrea Vallely, a transformational coach shares how she helps individuals navigate their state of mind towards better health and wellbeing. The conversation helps listeners understand the essence of self-acceptance, the power of a positive mindset, and techniques for transitioning from a state of worry to a state of calm.

Andrea brings to light the importance of breathing and physical activities, such as yoga, to help quiet the mind. She emphasizes the power of being okay with one's present state, focusing on improvement rather than dwelling on the past or future. This episode is an insightful guide for anyone looking to understand their own personal growth potential and how to create a solid foundation in life.

Support the Show

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Transcript

View the transcript for this episode.

]]> 01:04:39 <![CDATA[Beacon 4 HOPE]]> Thu, 15 Feb 2024 08:00:00 +0000 Scott DeLuzio https://permalink.castos.com/podcast/2296/episode/1622496 Doug Brinker is the founder of Beacon 4 HOPE, an organization dedicated to providing suicide prevention techniques and workshops. Our conversation begins with Doug's life background and journey. He shares his experience serving in two different branches of the military and talks about the ups and downs he faced. From being a survivor of two suicide attempts to becoming a beacon of hope for others navigating the difficult topic of suicide prevention, Doug's story is inspiring. He sheds light on his recovery process, indicating the importance of self-discipline, dedication, and the role of therapy in his journey. Doug highlights the impact of mental health stigma and underscores the importance of prioritizing mental health. He speaks passionately about the sense of purpose each individual possesses and its pivotal role in their lives. At the end, humor reasserts its importance through a funny video segment. Overall, this episode offers a mix of a personal, powerful tale of resilience, a broader discussion on mental health, and light-hearted humor.

  • 00:00 Introduction and Background Story
  • 06:55 Stigma on Mental Health
  • 45:26 Finding Purpose and Significance
  • 52:02 Humor Segment

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Transcript

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]]> full 360 false Doug Brinker is the founder of Beacon 4 HOPE, an organization dedicated to providing suicide prevention techniques and workshops. Our conversation begins with Doug's life background and journey. He shares his experience serving in two different branches of the military and talks about the ups and downs he faced. From being a survivor of two suicide attempts to becoming a beacon of hope for others navigating the difficult topic of suicide prevention, Doug's story is inspiring. He sheds light on his recovery process, indicating the importance of self-discipline, dedication, and the role of therapy in his journey. Doug highlights the impact of mental health stigma and underscores the importance of prioritizing mental health. He speaks passionately about the sense of purpose each individual possesses and its pivotal role in their lives. At the end, humor reasserts its importance through a funny video segment. Overall, this episode offers a mix of a personal, powerful tale of resilience, a broader discussion on mental health, and light-hearted humor.

  • 00:00 Introduction and Background Story
  • 06:55 Stigma on Mental Health
  • 45:26 Finding Purpose and Significance
  • 52:02 Humor Segment

Support the Show

Links & Resources

Transcript

View the transcript for this episode.

]]> 01:01:05 <![CDATA[The Journey Of Grief And Healing]]> Tue, 13 Feb 2024 08:00:00 +0000 Scott DeLuzio https://permalink.castos.com/podcast/2296/episode/1622487 Allicia Johnson Niles shares her experience of losing her father in the military at a young age, which had a heavy impact on her life. Allicia discusses the importance of openly addressing grief, her own journey to healing, and her groundbreaking revelation about her father's untimely demise. Throughout this journey, Allicia emphasizes the importance of community support, such as the Tragedy Assistance Program for Survivors (TAPS), and shares the profound impact it had on her healing process. Allicia also teases her upcoming book 'Angel in Arlington' where she digs deeper into these themes.

  • 00:00 Introduction to podcast and Sponsor
  • 01:41 Introduction to guest
  • 02:14 Allicia shares her story
  • 02:51 Revelation of unaddressed grief
  • 04:15 Impact of loss on personal life
  • 05:48 Insight into the grieving process
  • 02:18 Discussion on validation and self-discovery
  • 49:18 Unveiling the TAPS program
  • 43:09 Closing message

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Transcript

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]]> full 359 false Allicia Johnson Niles shares her experience of losing her father in the military at a young age, which had a heavy impact on her life. Allicia discusses the importance of openly addressing grief, her own journey to healing, and her groundbreaking revelation about her father's untimely demise. Throughout this journey, Allicia emphasizes the importance of community support, such as the Tragedy Assistance Program for Survivors (TAPS), and shares the profound impact it had on her healing process. Allicia also teases her upcoming book 'Angel in Arlington' where she digs deeper into these themes.

  • 00:00 Introduction to podcast and Sponsor
  • 01:41 Introduction to guest
  • 02:14 Allicia shares her story
  • 02:51 Revelation of unaddressed grief
  • 04:15 Impact of loss on personal life
  • 05:48 Insight into the grieving process
  • 02:18 Discussion on validation and self-discovery
  • 49:18 Unveiling the TAPS program
  • 43:09 Closing message

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Links & Resources

Transcript

View the transcript for this episode.

]]> 00:52:54 <![CDATA[Leadership and Military Family Support]]> Thu, 08 Feb 2024 08:00:00 +0000 Scott DeLuzio https://permalink.castos.com/podcast/2296/episode/1622454 Paul Vann is a leadership consultant, author, and military veteran with an extensive career in the U.S. Air Force, the Pentagon, and the private sector. This episode explores his experiences in the military, his role in the National Guard Family Readiness Program, and his work on military and veterans' issues on Capitol Hill. It looks into the challenges facing military families, including struggles with housing, food security, and healthcare, as well as the impact of the pandemic. Paul offers invaluable insights on fostering resilience in military communities and his efforts to improve military family support programs. The interview also showcases his commitment to leadership education, his work as an author and speaker, and his insightful grasp of the vital role that communication and mentoring play in military life. This episode offers a powerful exploration of tentative issues affecting military life and serves as a valuable resource for military families and those seeking to understand their challenges better.

  • 00:00 Introduction to the Drive On Podcast
  • 00:22 Introducing 4Patriots: Emergency Preparedness Products
  • 01:41 Welcome Back to Drive On: Guest Introduction
  • 03:14 Paul Vann's Military Journey
  • 15:04 Challenges Faced by Military Families
  • 23:41 Supporting Military Families: National Military Family Association
  • 33:05 Paul's Experience Working on Capitol Hill
  • 35:16 Improving Military Funeral Honor Duty Process
  • 35:51 The Importance of Military Funeral Honors
  • 36:57 Impact of Military Funerals on Families
  • 37:49 The Need for Funding in Military Funerals
  • 38:44 Personal Experiences with Military Funerals
  • 40:42 The Role of Family Readiness Program
  • 40:54 How Military Families Can Get Involved
  • 45:46 The Value of Volunteering and Community Involvement
  • 46:05 The Importance of Leadership Development in Youth
  • 46:49 The Importance of Communication in Leadership
  • 51:44 Promoting Preparedness with 4Patriots
  • 53:04 Leadership Development Programs and Books
  • 56:18 Humor in Military Culture
  • 01:00:40 Closing Remarks and Appreciation

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Transcript

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]]> full 358 false Paul Vann is a leadership consultant, author, and military veteran with an extensive career in the U.S. Air Force, the Pentagon, and the private sector. This episode explores his experiences in the military, his role in the National Guard Family Readiness Program, and his work on military and veterans' issues on Capitol Hill. It looks into the challenges facing military families, including struggles with housing, food security, and healthcare, as well as the impact of the pandemic. Paul offers invaluable insights on fostering resilience in military communities and his efforts to improve military family support programs. The interview also showcases his commitment to leadership education, his work as an author and speaker, and his insightful grasp of the vital role that communication and mentoring play in military life. This episode offers a powerful exploration of tentative issues affecting military life and serves as a valuable resource for military families and those seeking to understand their challenges better.

  • 00:00 Introduction to the Drive On Podcast
  • 00:22 Introducing 4Patriots: Emergency Preparedness Products
  • 01:41 Welcome Back to Drive On: Guest Introduction
  • 03:14 Paul Vann's Military Journey
  • 15:04 Challenges Faced by Military Families
  • 23:41 Supporting Military Families: National Military Family Association
  • 33:05 Paul's Experience Working on Capitol Hill
  • 35:16 Improving Military Funeral Honor Duty Process
  • 35:51 The Importance of Military Funeral Honors
  • 36:57 Impact of Military Funerals on Families
  • 37:49 The Need for Funding in Military Funerals
  • 38:44 Personal Experiences with Military Funerals
  • 40:42 The Role of Family Readiness Program
  • 40:54 How Military Families Can Get Involved
  • 45:46 The Value of Volunteering and Community Involvement
  • 46:05 The Importance of Leadership Development in Youth
  • 46:49 The Importance of Communication in Leadership
  • 51:44 Promoting Preparedness with 4Patriots
  • 53:04 Leadership Development Programs and Books
  • 56:18 Humor in Military Culture
  • 01:00:40 Closing Remarks and Appreciation

Support the Show

Links & Resources

Transcript

View the transcript for this episode.

]]> 01:02:09 <![CDATA[Pathway into Writing]]> Tue, 06 Feb 2024 08:00:00 +0000 Scott DeLuzio https://permalink.castos.com/podcast/2296/episode/1622404 Matt Scott discusses his transformation from a corporate worker to a writer, shedding light on the multi-layered writing process and the significance of believing in oneself and taking the leap despite age or circumstances. He provides an in-depth view into his book series, which focuses on the Iranian threat to the West and takes readers on a journey through Iran, an aspect rarely spotlighted in literature.

Matt shares the valuable advice he received from established author David Baldacci and how it helped him through self-doubt and gave him confidence. He emphasizes the importance of planning, reading, character development, and being well-prepared to morph your writing dreams into reality.

As many people in the military transition from active service to civilian life, this episode is a great inspiration to those contemplating a career shift to writing, highlighting that it's never too late.

  • [00:05]: Introduction
  • [02:15]: Podcast Sponsor Message
  • [04:50]: Introducing Matt Scott
  • [07:30]: Matt shares his bio and the Surviving the Lion's Den series
  • [15:00]: How the Publishing industry works
  • [18:00]: Overcoming Self Doubt
  • [27:45]: Writing the book vs. publishing the book
  • [35:10]: Writing Craft and Publishing Business
  • [39:15]: Overview of the Surviving the Lion's Den series
  • [45:05]: Ending Joke
  • [47:00]: Outro and Thanks

Support the Show

Links & Resources

Transcript

View the transcript for this episode.

]]> full 357 false Matt Scott discusses his transformation from a corporate worker to a writer, shedding light on the multi-layered writing process and the significance of believing in oneself and taking the leap despite age or circumstances. He provides an in-depth view into his book series, which focuses on the Iranian threat to the West and takes readers on a journey through Iran, an aspect rarely spotlighted in literature.

Matt shares the valuable advice he received from established author David Baldacci and how it helped him through self-doubt and gave him confidence. He emphasizes the importance of planning, reading, character development, and being well-prepared to morph your writing dreams into reality.

As many people in the military transition from active service to civilian life, this episode is a great inspiration to those contemplating a career shift to writing, highlighting that it's never too late.

  • [00:05]: Introduction
  • [02:15]: Podcast Sponsor Message
  • [04:50]: Introducing Matt Scott
  • [07:30]: Matt shares his bio and the Surviving the Lion's Den series
  • [15:00]: How the Publishing industry works
  • [18:00]: Overcoming Self Doubt
  • [27:45]: Writing the book vs. publishing the book
  • [35:10]: Writing Craft and Publishing Business
  • [39:15]: Overview of the Surviving the Lion's Den series
  • [45:05]: Ending Joke
  • [47:00]: Outro and Thanks

Support the Show

Links & Resources

Transcript

View the transcript for this episode.

]]> 00:48:13 <![CDATA[Expressive Arts as a Pathway to Healing and Resilience]]> Thu, 01 Feb 2024 12:08:19 +0000 Scott DeLuzio https://permalink.castos.com/podcast/2296/episode/1622328 In this episode, the host interviews guest Kathryn Vecchio about her unique intervention program that utilizes expressive arts for mental healing. Drawing from her diverse professional background including working in government, city, county, and state sectors, private practice, as well as a staff psychologist at a maximum security prison, Kathryn discusses the concept of seeing life as the greatest work of art. She highlights the therapeutic benefits of sparking imagination and creativity. Using captivating stories, she demonstrates how engaging with creativity has helped individuals go from thinking 'I can't' to 'I did and I will'.

  • 00:00 Introduction to the Drive On Podcast
  • 00:22 Preparing for the Unexpected with 4Patriots
  • 01:41 Welcome Back to Drive On: Introducing Kathryn Vecchio
  • 02:07 Kathryn's Journey: From History and Education to Psychology
  • 04:02 The Power of Art in Life: A New Perspective
  • 05:39 Igniting Imagination: The Key to Overcoming Challenges
  • 06:51 The Beauty of Trench Art: Creativity in Crisis
  • 08:19 The Power of Creativity: From Tragedy to Triumph
  • 09:43 The Sandy Hook Story: Post Traumatic Stress Growth
  • 13:10 The Science Behind Art Therapy: How it Helps
  • 14:01 The Power of Perspective: Seeing Beauty in Chaos
  • 16:28 The Journey of Self-Discovery Through Art
  • 18:52 The Power of Art in Healing and Growth
  • 21:19 The Role of Art in Personal Development
  • 23:49 The Bumps are the Road: Embracing Life's Challenges
  • 24:54 The Power of 'I Can': Overcoming Limitations
  • 33:26 4Patriots: Your Partner in Preparedness
  • 34:45 The Power of Practice and Learning
  • 35:17 Creativity and Art in Unusual Places
  • 37:07 The Importance of Practicing Correctly
  • 38:33 The Power of Adjustments and Change
  • 41:16 Reflecting on Past Actions and Decisions
  • 42:40 The Importance of Time and Living Life Fully
  • 44:31 The Struggles of Reintegration and the Need for Resilience
  • 52:52 The Power of Art Therapy and Creativity
  • 01:01:23 Wrapping Up and Final Thoughts

Support the Show

Links & Resources

Transcript

View the transcript for this episode.

]]> full 356 false In this episode, the host interviews guest Kathryn Vecchio about her unique intervention program that utilizes expressive arts for mental healing. Drawing from her diverse professional background including working in government, city, county, and state sectors, private practice, as well as a staff psychologist at a maximum security prison, Kathryn discusses the concept of seeing life as the greatest work of art. She highlights the therapeutic benefits of sparking imagination and creativity. Using captivating stories, she demonstrates how engaging with creativity has helped individuals go from thinking 'I can't' to 'I did and I will'.

  • 00:00 Introduction to the Drive On Podcast
  • 00:22 Preparing for the Unexpected with 4Patriots
  • 01:41 Welcome Back to Drive On: Introducing Kathryn Vecchio
  • 02:07 Kathryn's Journey: From History and Education to Psychology
  • 04:02 The Power of Art in Life: A New Perspective
  • 05:39 Igniting Imagination: The Key to Overcoming Challenges
  • 06:51 The Beauty of Trench Art: Creativity in Crisis
  • 08:19 The Power of Creativity: From Tragedy to Triumph
  • 09:43 The Sandy Hook Story: Post Traumatic Stress Growth
  • 13:10 The Science Behind Art Therapy: How it Helps
  • 14:01 The Power of Perspective: Seeing Beauty in Chaos
  • 16:28 The Journey of Self-Discovery Through Art
  • 18:52 The Power of Art in Healing and Growth
  • 21:19 The Role of Art in Personal Development
  • 23:49 The Bumps are the Road: Embracing Life's Challenges
  • 24:54 The Power of 'I Can': Overcoming Limitations
  • 33:26 4Patriots: Your Partner in Preparedness
  • 34:45 The Power of Practice and Learning
  • 35:17 Creativity and Art in Unusual Places
  • 37:07 The Importance of Practicing Correctly
  • 38:33 The Power of Adjustments and Change
  • 41:16 Reflecting on Past Actions and Decisions
  • 42:40 The Importance of Time and Living Life Fully
  • 44:31 The Struggles of Reintegration and the Need for Resilience
  • 52:52 The Power of Art Therapy and Creativity
  • 01:01:23 Wrapping Up and Final Thoughts

Support the Show

Links & Resources

Transcript

View the transcript for this episode.

]]> 01:04:07 <![CDATA[Discussing the Impact of Marijuana Use]]> Tue, 30 Jan 2024 08:00:00 +0000 Scott DeLuzio https://permalink.castos.com/podcast/2296/episode/1621261 This discussion features Dr. Raymond Wiggins, sharing insights and research on the harms of marijuana use. Despite being an advocate of natural remedies, Dr. Wiggins highlights the destructive impact of marijuana use, particularly the high-potency versions available today. He touches on both medical and legal aspects and underscores the potential health ailments, psychological impacts, and addictive qualities.

With his Christian perspective, he also acknowledges the spiritual effects. The conversation also dives further into the influence of the legalization trend.

  • 00:00 Introduction to the Drive On Podcast
  • 00:22 Preparing for Emergencies with 4Patriots
  • 01:41 Welcome Back to Drive On
  • 01:48 The Unspoken Harms of Marijuana
  • 03:12 Personal Experiences with Marijuana
  • 06:14 The Medical Perspective on Marijuana
  • 14:00 The Legal Implications of Marijuana Use
  • 22:17 The Spiritual Perspective on Marijuana
  • 30:32 The Future of Marijuana Legalization
  • 38:26 Conclusion and Final Thoughts

Support the Show

Links & Resources

Transcript

View the transcript for this episode.

]]> full 355 false This discussion features Dr. Raymond Wiggins, sharing insights and research on the harms of marijuana use. Despite being an advocate of natural remedies, Dr. Wiggins highlights the destructive impact of marijuana use, particularly the high-potency versions available today. He touches on both medical and legal aspects and underscores the potential health ailments, psychological impacts, and addictive qualities.

With his Christian perspective, he also acknowledges the spiritual effects. The conversation also dives further into the influence of the legalization trend.

  • 00:00 Introduction to the Drive On Podcast
  • 00:22 Preparing for Emergencies with 4Patriots
  • 01:41 Welcome Back to Drive On
  • 01:48 The Unspoken Harms of Marijuana
  • 03:12 Personal Experiences with Marijuana
  • 06:14 The Medical Perspective on Marijuana
  • 14:00 The Legal Implications of Marijuana Use
  • 22:17 The Spiritual Perspective on Marijuana
  • 30:32 The Future of Marijuana Legalization
  • 38:26 Conclusion and Final Thoughts

Support the Show

Links & Resources

Transcript

View the transcript for this episode.

]]> 00:45:33 <![CDATA[Harnessing Special Effects Skills]]> Thu, 25 Jan 2024 08:00:00 +0000 Scott DeLuzio https://permalink.castos.com/podcast/2296/episode/1618388 Guest Steve Wolf discusses his transition from being a Hollywood special effects coordinator to developing technologies to combat wildfires. The key focus is on the use of wind-controlling technology, which is designed to disrupt wildfires, and how it improves water efficiency and safety measures. The potential of this technology in protecting military bases is explored. The conversation evolves around the correlation between the special effects and military industries and how skills acquired in the military can have applications within Hollywood. The development of fire suppression tech is emphasized, along with an invitation for military bases to test it by conducting prescribed fires. The episode offers insights and opportunities to anyone interested in firefighting and special effects, especially individuals with military experience.

  • 00:00 Introduction to the Drive On Podcast
  • 00:22 Introducing 4Patriots: Emergency Preparedness Products
  • 01:41 Welcome Back to Drive On: Guest Introduction
  • 01:51 Steve Wolf's Background and Invention
  • 02:35 Appreciation for Service Members
  • 10:21 Steve's Journey from Hollywood to Fighting Wildfires
  • 12:20 The Science Behind Fighting Wildfires
  • 15:57 Firearm Safety Discussion
  • 19:13 The Transition from Special Effects to Fighting Wildfires
  • 21:21 The Efficiency of the New Firefighting Technology
  • 24:58 The Importance of Firefighting Preparedness
  • 28:28 The Future of Firefighting Technology
  • 30:16 The Economic Impact of Wildfires
  • 34:06 The Importance of Fire Safety Measures
  • 39:11 Fire Breaks and Fire Safety
  • 40:11 Transitioning from Military to Special Effects Career
  • 40:58 The Value of Military Skills in Special Effects
  • 43:28 Creating Safe Special Effects
  • 48:06 The Importance of Firearm Safety
  • 58:30 Exploring Career Opportunities in Wildfire Suppression
  • 01:03:37 The Future of Wildfire Suppression
  • 01:10:24 Final Thoughts and Conclusion

Support the Show

Links & Resources

Transcript

View the transcript for this episode.

]]> full 354 false Guest Steve Wolf discusses his transition from being a Hollywood special effects coordinator to developing technologies to combat wildfires. The key focus is on the use of wind-controlling technology, which is designed to disrupt wildfires, and how it improves water efficiency and safety measures. The potential of this technology in protecting military bases is explored. The conversation evolves around the correlation between the special effects and military industries and how skills acquired in the military can have applications within Hollywood. The development of fire suppression tech is emphasized, along with an invitation for military bases to test it by conducting prescribed fires. The episode offers insights and opportunities to anyone interested in firefighting and special effects, especially individuals with military experience.

  • 00:00 Introduction to the Drive On Podcast
  • 00:22 Introducing 4Patriots: Emergency Preparedness Products
  • 01:41 Welcome Back to Drive On: Guest Introduction
  • 01:51 Steve Wolf's Background and Invention
  • 02:35 Appreciation for Service Members
  • 10:21 Steve's Journey from Hollywood to Fighting Wildfires
  • 12:20 The Science Behind Fighting Wildfires
  • 15:57 Firearm Safety Discussion
  • 19:13 The Transition from Special Effects to Fighting Wildfires
  • 21:21 The Efficiency of the New Firefighting Technology
  • 24:58 The Importance of Firefighting Preparedness
  • 28:28 The Future of Firefighting Technology
  • 30:16 The Economic Impact of Wildfires
  • 34:06 The Importance of Fire Safety Measures
  • 39:11 Fire Breaks and Fire Safety
  • 40:11 Transitioning from Military to Special Effects Career
  • 40:58 The Value of Military Skills in Special Effects
  • 43:28 Creating Safe Special Effects
  • 48:06 The Importance of Firearm Safety
  • 58:30 Exploring Career Opportunities in Wildfire Suppression
  • 01:03:37 The Future of Wildfire Suppression
  • 01:10:24 Final Thoughts and Conclusion

Support the Show

Links & Resources

Transcript

View the transcript for this episode.

]]> 01:12:48 <![CDATA[Military Mental Health: Culture, Preparedness, and Support]]> Tue, 23 Jan 2024 08:00:00 +0000 Scott DeLuzio https://permalink.castos.com/podcast/2296/episode/1616163 Rachel Oswalt, a Navy veteran, host of the 'Your Story Doesn't End Here' podcast, and a prominent voice in the military mental health space, shares why mental health preparedness in the military community is crucial and how veterans can navigate resources available to them. Rachel also shared her personal experience with the Navy, exploring the constantly changing and challenging culture, managing her mental health journey, and the loss of friends to suicide. Both Scott and Rachel emphasized the importance of storytelling as a means to raise mental health awareness. Towards the end, they also focused on the need for more mental health resources and support systems for active duty and veterans.

Support the Show

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Transcript

View the transcript for this episode.

]]> full 353 false Rachel Oswalt, a Navy veteran, host of the 'Your Story Doesn't End Here' podcast, and a prominent voice in the military mental health space, shares why mental health preparedness in the military community is crucial and how veterans can navigate resources available to them. Rachel also shared her personal experience with the Navy, exploring the constantly changing and challenging culture, managing her mental health journey, and the loss of friends to suicide. Both Scott and Rachel emphasized the importance of storytelling as a means to raise mental health awareness. Towards the end, they also focused on the need for more mental health resources and support systems for active duty and veterans.

Support the Show

Links & Resources

Transcript

View the transcript for this episode.

]]> 01:09:16 <![CDATA[Rediscovering Life After Addiction]]> Thu, 18 Jan 2024 08:00:00 +0000 Scott DeLuzio https://permalink.castos.com/podcast/2296/episode/1616061 In this episode, Kelly Killingsworth, a military veteran, shares his inspiring journey of recovering from addiction and restructuring his life. Once an addict and stuck in a toxic relationship, Kelly felt his life spiraling out of control until the potential loss of his children encouraged him to confront his demons. He discusses how cutting destructive influences out of his life and gaining structure from the Army helped him beat addiction. Furthermore, Kelly talks about the importance of having a mentor and setting personal goals. He discusses using the GI Bill to facilitate his transition and secure a stable income and the role that resilience and a clear vision have played in transforming his life. Now, Kelly is his own boss, sober, and dedicated to using his experiences to guide others through their struggles.

Support the Show

Links & Resources

Transcript

View the transcript for this episode.

]]> full 352 false In this episode, Kelly Killingsworth, a military veteran, shares his inspiring journey of recovering from addiction and restructuring his life. Once an addict and stuck in a toxic relationship, Kelly felt his life spiraling out of control until the potential loss of his children encouraged him to confront his demons. He discusses how cutting destructive influences out of his life and gaining structure from the Army helped him beat addiction. Furthermore, Kelly talks about the importance of having a mentor and setting personal goals. He discusses using the GI Bill to facilitate his transition and secure a stable income and the role that resilience and a clear vision have played in transforming his life. Now, Kelly is his own boss, sober, and dedicated to using his experiences to guide others through their struggles.

Support the Show

Links & Resources

Transcript

View the transcript for this episode.

]]> 00:59:56 <![CDATA[Finding Balance and Healing]]> Tue, 16 Jan 2024 08:00:00 +0000 Scott DeLuzio https://permalink.castos.com/podcast/2296/episode/1612615 Marine veteran, James Gervasio, discusses his past struggles with addiction, trauma, and his journey to self-discovery. James shares his personal experiences from the Battle of Nasiriyah and the transition he had to undergo from being a soldier to becoming a civilian. He gives insight into the harsh realities war veterans face even after leaving the service - the constant battles with PTSD and the struggle of not relating with societal norms. James goes on to explain how he was able to overcome these challenges. James also reveals how he now uses his experiences to help others navigate through their own situations to find peace and reshape their lives.

Support the Show

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Transcript

View the transcript for this episode.

]]> full 351 false Marine veteran, James Gervasio, discusses his past struggles with addiction, trauma, and his journey to self-discovery. James shares his personal experiences from the Battle of Nasiriyah and the transition he had to undergo from being a soldier to becoming a civilian. He gives insight into the harsh realities war veterans face even after leaving the service - the constant battles with PTSD and the struggle of not relating with societal norms. James goes on to explain how he was able to overcome these challenges. James also reveals how he now uses his experiences to help others navigate through their own situations to find peace and reshape their lives.

Support the Show

Links & Resources

Transcript

View the transcript for this episode.

]]> 01:00:15 <![CDATA[Humor and Healing]]> Thu, 11 Jan 2024 08:00:00 +0000 Scott DeLuzio https://permalink.castos.com/podcast/2296/episode/1612154 Robin Johnson, an Army veteran and the CEO of Best Medicine Brigade, shares her journey from a military career to becoming a comedian and creating a platform for other military-connected comedians. Discussing her organization, she explains how she offers performance opportunities for veteran and military spouse comedians. In addition, Robin highlights how humor can be used as a tool for improving mental well-being, reframing negative thoughts, and building trust within organizations. While extensively discussing the importance and benefits of humor, Robin also shares her personal experiences and funny anecdotes.

Support the Show

Links & Resources

Transcript

View the transcript for this episode.

]]> full 350 false Robin Johnson, an Army veteran and the CEO of Best Medicine Brigade, shares her journey from a military career to becoming a comedian and creating a platform for other military-connected comedians. Discussing her organization, she explains how she offers performance opportunities for veteran and military spouse comedians. In addition, Robin highlights how humor can be used as a tool for improving mental well-being, reframing negative thoughts, and building trust within organizations. While extensively discussing the importance and benefits of humor, Robin also shares her personal experiences and funny anecdotes.

Support the Show

Links & Resources

Transcript

View the transcript for this episode.

]]> 00:56:58 <![CDATA[Elevating Heroes' Voices]]> Tue, 09 Jan 2024 08:00:00 +0000 Scott DeLuzio https://permalink.castos.com/podcast/2296/episode/1612543 In this engaging discussion with Army veteran Donald Dunn, we follow his personal journey through PTSD and his innovative use of podcasting and music as therapeutic channels. Donald discusses the Heroes Voices Media Foundation, which is a platform empowering veteran musicians, podcasters, and authors. The foundation supports platforms like 'Gun Room Radio' and 'Military United Podcast Streams,' which help promote veteran and military-connected creators.

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]]> full 349 false In this engaging discussion with Army veteran Donald Dunn, we follow his personal journey through PTSD and his innovative use of podcasting and music as therapeutic channels. Donald discusses the Heroes Voices Media Foundation, which is a platform empowering veteran musicians, podcasters, and authors. The foundation supports platforms like 'Gun Room Radio' and 'Military United Podcast Streams,' which help promote veteran and military-connected creators.

Support the Show

Links & Resources

Transcript

View the transcript for this episode.

]]> 01:31:05 <![CDATA[Becoming a Dangerous Man]]> Thu, 04 Jan 2024 08:00:00 +0000 Scott DeLuzio https://permalink.castos.com/podcast/2296/episode/1606845 In this episode, Navy veteran, Phil Anderton shares his transformation story into what he calls a 'dangerous man.' Together, they discuss the importance of self-preparation, the need to reassess traditional roles, and the significance of being ready to protect one's family. Phil elaborates on his coaching programs designed to instill confidence, offer clarity, and encourage people to take more intentional actions.

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]]> full 348 false In this episode, Navy veteran, Phil Anderton shares his transformation story into what he calls a 'dangerous man.' Together, they discuss the importance of self-preparation, the need to reassess traditional roles, and the significance of being ready to protect one's family. Phil elaborates on his coaching programs designed to instill confidence, offer clarity, and encourage people to take more intentional actions.

Support the Show

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Transcript

View the transcript for this episode.

]]> 00:59:28 <![CDATA[Honoring Our Fallen Supporting Military Families]]> Tue, 02 Jan 2024 08:00:00 +0000 Scott DeLuzio https://permalink.castos.com/podcast/2296/episode/1604722 Laura Herzog, the founder and executive director of Honoring Our Fallen, discusses the organization's mission, which is dedicated to supporting Gold Star Families coping with the loss of a loved one. Using her experience in human resources management and as a public affairs officer, Laura shares how Honoring Our Fallen supports families through difficult times, offering various resources and programs such as retreats and a Random Acts of Love program. The conversation also touches on the different forms of grief, the importance of maintaining connections and building communities for support, and how different organizations can work together to fill in gaps in assistance.

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]]> full 347 false Laura Herzog, the founder and executive director of Honoring Our Fallen, discusses the organization's mission, which is dedicated to supporting Gold Star Families coping with the loss of a loved one. Using her experience in human resources management and as a public affairs officer, Laura shares how Honoring Our Fallen supports families through difficult times, offering various resources and programs such as retreats and a Random Acts of Love program. The conversation also touches on the different forms of grief, the importance of maintaining connections and building communities for support, and how different organizations can work together to fill in gaps in assistance.

Support the Show

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Transcript

View the transcript for this episode.

]]> 01:02:17 <![CDATA[Damn the Valley - An Inside Look at the 'Meat Grinder' Deployment]]> Thu, 28 Dec 2023 08:00:00 +0000 Scott DeLuzio https://permalink.castos.com/podcast/2296/episode/1604679 William Yeske, Army veteran and author of 'Damn the Valley', discusses his book, which provides insights into his deployment in an area known as 'The Meat Grinder' in Afghanistan. He shares the harrowing experiences of veterans, delving into the psychological impact of warfare and the importance of unity within military units. We also discuss the significance of support systems for veterans transitioning back to civilian life.

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Transcript

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]]> full 346 false William Yeske, Army veteran and author of 'Damn the Valley', discusses his book, which provides insights into his deployment in an area known as 'The Meat Grinder' in Afghanistan. He shares the harrowing experiences of veterans, delving into the psychological impact of warfare and the importance of unity within military units. We also discuss the significance of support systems for veterans transitioning back to civilian life.

Support the Show

Links & Resources

Transcript

View the transcript for this episode.

]]> 01:22:37 <![CDATA[Discussing Mental Health Support with Ohana Homefront Foundation]]> Tue, 26 Dec 2023 08:00:00 +0000 Scott DeLuzio https://permalink.castos.com/podcast/2296/episode/1604676 Sarah Otto and Candace Guelzo join the show from the Ohana Homefront Foundation. The foundation aims to provide support for the entire military community - veterans, active duty, guard, reserve, and their families - primarily focusing on mental health awareness and suicide prevention initiatives.

Sarah Otto, co-founder and CEO of the foundation, shares her motivation behind starting this foundation - addressing the mental health challenges faced by military families and instilling a system that doesn't report back to commands.

Candace Guelzo, serving as the Chief Operating Officer on the Mental Health side, talks about breaking down stigmas around mental health in the military and creating awareness. She champions for a shift in the perspective of treating mental health like overall health. Both guests stress the importance of providing easy access to mental health services and resources.

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Transcript

View the transcript for this episode.

]]> full 345 false Sarah Otto and Candace Guelzo join the show from the Ohana Homefront Foundation. The foundation aims to provide support for the entire military community - veterans, active duty, guard, reserve, and their families - primarily focusing on mental health awareness and suicide prevention initiatives.

Sarah Otto, co-founder and CEO of the foundation, shares her motivation behind starting this foundation - addressing the mental health challenges faced by military families and instilling a system that doesn't report back to commands.

Candace Guelzo, serving as the Chief Operating Officer on the Mental Health side, talks about breaking down stigmas around mental health in the military and creating awareness. She champions for a shift in the perspective of treating mental health like overall health. Both guests stress the importance of providing easy access to mental health services and resources.

Support the Show

Links & Resources

Transcript

View the transcript for this episode.

]]> 00:39:12 <![CDATA[Equestrian Therapy for Veterans]]> Thu, 21 Dec 2023 08:00:00 +0000 Scott DeLuzio https://permalink.castos.com/podcast/2296/episode/1598587 In this episode of the Drive On Podcast, host Scott DeLuzio engages in a heartening conversation with his guest, Zachary Layden, founder of Oceanview Stables. Zachary details his journey from being a military veteran to finding solace in horses and establishing a career in business training them. He explains how 'natural horsemanship' aids veterans to reconnect with themselves while building trust with these highly sensitive animals. Layden also shares an inspiring success story that changed his business course, leading him to offer free rides for veterans. The program aims to offer a therapeutic experience, giving them hope, strength, and purpose while subtly healing their emotional wounds. The discussion also includes insightful tips for veterans interested in getting involved with horses and offers to aid other businesses in building similar veteran-oriented programs.

  • 00:00 Introduction to the Drive On Podcast
  • 00:23 Guest Introduction: Zachary Layden
  • 00:50 Zachary's Journey from Military to Horse Training
  • 02:52 The Healing Power of Horses
  • 03:34 Sponsored Message: 4Patriots - https://4Patriots.com/DriveOn
  • 04:55 The Struggles of Veterans Post-Service
  • 09:15 The Therapeutic Impact of Horses
  • 10:56 The Role of Horses in Leadership Training
  • 17:52 The Transformative Story of a Veteran
  • 23:41 The Power of Working with Horses
  • 23:59 Challenges and Successes in Managing a Horse Facility
  • 24:49 The Importance of Teamwork in Business
  • 27:30 Advice for Getting Involved with Horses
  • 31:39 The Future of Oceanview Stables
  • 32:38 Supporting Veterans through Horsemanship
  • 36:24 The Impact of Businesses Offering Free Services for Veterans
  • 39:30 Job Opportunities at Oceanview Stables
  • 40:08 Sponsored Message: 4Patriots - https://4Patriots.com/DriveOn
  • 41:28 Is It Service Connected? Segment
  • 46:37 Conclusion and Final Thoughts

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Transcript

View the transcript for this episode.

]]> full 344 false In this episode of the Drive On Podcast, host Scott DeLuzio engages in a heartening conversation with his guest, Zachary Layden, founder of Oceanview Stables. Zachary details his journey from being a military veteran to finding solace in horses and establishing a career in business training them. He explains how 'natural horsemanship' aids veterans to reconnect with themselves while building trust with these highly sensitive animals. Layden also shares an inspiring success story that changed his business course, leading him to offer free rides for veterans. The program aims to offer a therapeutic experience, giving them hope, strength, and purpose while subtly healing their emotional wounds. The discussion also includes insightful tips for veterans interested in getting involved with horses and offers to aid other businesses in building similar veteran-oriented programs.

  • 00:00 Introduction to the Drive On Podcast
  • 00:23 Guest Introduction: Zachary Layden
  • 00:50 Zachary's Journey from Military to Horse Training
  • 02:52 The Healing Power of Horses
  • 03:34 Sponsored Message: 4Patriots - https://4Patriots.com/DriveOn
  • 04:55 The Struggles of Veterans Post-Service
  • 09:15 The Therapeutic Impact of Horses
  • 10:56 The Role of Horses in Leadership Training
  • 17:52 The Transformative Story of a Veteran
  • 23:41 The Power of Working with Horses
  • 23:59 Challenges and Successes in Managing a Horse Facility
  • 24:49 The Importance of Teamwork in Business
  • 27:30 Advice for Getting Involved with Horses
  • 31:39 The Future of Oceanview Stables
  • 32:38 Supporting Veterans through Horsemanship
  • 36:24 The Impact of Businesses Offering Free Services for Veterans
  • 39:30 Job Opportunities at Oceanview Stables
  • 40:08 Sponsored Message: 4Patriots - https://4Patriots.com/DriveOn
  • 41:28 Is It Service Connected? Segment
  • 46:37 Conclusion and Final Thoughts

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Transcript

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]]> 00:47:55 <![CDATA[A Journey to Healing Through Posttraumatic Growth]]> Tue, 19 Dec 2023 08:00:00 +0000 Scott DeLuzio https://permalink.castos.com/podcast/2296/episode/1596488 In this episode, we're joined by David Nathanson, a USMC veteran with over 30 years of experience. He's the Executive Director of the Eagle Oak Retreat Foundation, a nonprofit organization dedicated to helping veterans and first responders.

The Eagle Oak Retreat Foundation is committed to providing wellness services and posttraumatic growth training to those who dedicate their lives to serving others. Their focus is on helping combat veterans and first responders overcome the traumatic stress that often results from their service to our country.

One of the programs that Eagle Oak Retreat offers is Warrior PATHH, which was developed in collaboration with the Boulder Crest Foundation. This innovative program is designed to help combat veterans and first responders transform deep struggle into strength, fostering lifelong Posttraumatic Growth. We'll explore how this program works and its incredible impact on the lives of our nation's heroes.

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]]> full 343 false In this episode, we're joined by David Nathanson, a USMC veteran with over 30 years of experience. He's the Executive Director of the Eagle Oak Retreat Foundation, a nonprofit organization dedicated to helping veterans and first responders.

The Eagle Oak Retreat Foundation is committed to providing wellness services and posttraumatic growth training to those who dedicate their lives to serving others. Their focus is on helping combat veterans and first responders overcome the traumatic stress that often results from their service to our country.

One of the programs that Eagle Oak Retreat offers is Warrior PATHH, which was developed in collaboration with the Boulder Crest Foundation. This innovative program is designed to help combat veterans and first responders transform deep struggle into strength, fostering lifelong Posttraumatic Growth. We'll explore how this program works and its incredible impact on the lives of our nation's heroes.

Support the Show

Links & Resources

Transcript

View the transcript for this episode.

]]> 01:01:07 <![CDATA[Vietnam Combat: Firefights and Writing History]]> Thu, 14 Dec 2023 08:00:00 +0000 Scott DeLuzio https://permalink.castos.com/podcast/2296/episode/1590764 Robin Bartlett grew up in a three-generation military family, but as the Vietnam War escalated, he chose ROTC. Upon graduation, as a Distinguished Military Graduate, he volunteered for Infantry, Airborne, and Ranger training and assignment to the 82nd Airborne Division. He got everything he asked for…and more. Bartlett served as a Combat Infantry Platoon Leader at the height of the Vietnam War from 1968-69. He led 28 soldiers on helicopter combat assaults and search and destroy missions with the famed 1st Cavalry Division (Airmobile). His book, Vietnam Combat: Firefights and Writing History, relates his unusual experiences during that war...some horrific, some humorous. Bartlett holds a master's degree in media from Pace University in NYC and a BA degree in Comparative Literature from Claremont McKenna College in California. He is the President of the NY/NJ Chapter of the 1st Cavalry Division Association and lives with his wife in Norwood, New Jersey. They have three sons, none of whom have pursued military careers.

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]]> full 342 false Robin Bartlett grew up in a three-generation military family, but as the Vietnam War escalated, he chose ROTC. Upon graduation, as a Distinguished Military Graduate, he volunteered for Infantry, Airborne, and Ranger training and assignment to the 82nd Airborne Division. He got everything he asked for…and more. Bartlett served as a Combat Infantry Platoon Leader at the height of the Vietnam War from 1968-69. He led 28 soldiers on helicopter combat assaults and search and destroy missions with the famed 1st Cavalry Division (Airmobile). His book, Vietnam Combat: Firefights and Writing History, relates his unusual experiences during that war...some horrific, some humorous. Bartlett holds a master's degree in media from Pace University in NYC and a BA degree in Comparative Literature from Claremont McKenna College in California. He is the President of the NY/NJ Chapter of the 1st Cavalry Division Association and lives with his wife in Norwood, New Jersey. They have three sons, none of whom have pursued military careers.

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Transcript

View the transcript for this episode.

]]> 00:55:12 <![CDATA[Veteran Champions and Military Ministry]]> Tue, 12 Dec 2023 08:00:00 +0000 Scott DeLuzio https://permalink.castos.com/podcast/2296/episode/1576124 In this episode of the Drive On podcast, we talk to Kathy Gallowitz, the founder of Vanguard Veteran. Kathy shares her insights on the challenges that veterans face and how Vanguard Veteran is working to support them. She also discusses the Veteran Champions program, military ministry, and veteran hiring.

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]]> full 341 false In this episode of the Drive On podcast, we talk to Kathy Gallowitz, the founder of Vanguard Veteran. Kathy shares her insights on the challenges that veterans face and how Vanguard Veteran is working to support them. She also discusses the Veteran Champions program, military ministry, and veteran hiring.

Support the Show

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Transcript

View the transcript for this episode.

]]> 00:46:10 <![CDATA[Coffee with a Purpose]]> Thu, 07 Dec 2023 08:00:00 +0000 Scott DeLuzio https://permalink.castos.com/podcast/2296/episode/1576160 Join us for an engaging conversation with Katie Preste, a Navy veteran and the founder of Boots On Ground Coffee Co. Katie's mission-driven business combines her love for coffee with her unwavering commitment to supporting military and veteran organizations. Find out how a simple cup of coffee can make a significant difference in the lives of those who have served, one sip at a time.

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]]> full 340 false Join us for an engaging conversation with Katie Preste, a Navy veteran and the founder of Boots On Ground Coffee Co. Katie's mission-driven business combines her love for coffee with her unwavering commitment to supporting military and veteran organizations. Find out how a simple cup of coffee can make a significant difference in the lives of those who have served, one sip at a time.

Support the Show

Links & Resources

Transcript

View the transcript for this episode.

]]> 00:37:37 <![CDATA[Changing the Landscape of Military Spouse Employment]]> Tue, 05 Dec 2023 08:00:00 +0000 Scott DeLuzio https://permalink.castos.com/podcast/2296/episode/1573128 Laura Early shares insights into how WISE Advise + Assist Team is redefining the employment landscape for military spouses and veterans. Discover how this organization connects small businesses with the immense talent and expertise of military spouses, enabling them to pursue fulfilling careers in a remote work environment. Join us as we look into the stories of success and empowerment made possible by WISE Advise + Assist Team.

Support the Show

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Transcript

View the transcript for this episode.

]]> full 339 false Laura Early shares insights into how WISE Advise + Assist Team is redefining the employment landscape for military spouses and veterans. Discover how this organization connects small businesses with the immense talent and expertise of military spouses, enabling them to pursue fulfilling careers in a remote work environment. Join us as we look into the stories of success and empowerment made possible by WISE Advise + Assist Team.

Support the Show

Links & Resources

Transcript

View the transcript for this episode.

]]> 00:48:08 <![CDATA[Finding Meaningful Opportunities in the Trades]]> Thu, 30 Nov 2023 08:00:00 +0000 Scott DeLuzio https://permalink.castos.com/podcast/2296/episode/1570003 Army veteran Michael Conner discusses the career opportunities available to veterans transitioning out of the military in the trades.

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]]> full 338 false Army veteran Michael Conner discusses the career opportunities available to veterans transitioning out of the military in the trades.

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Transcript

View the transcript for this episode.

]]> 00:52:16 <![CDATA[How Military Families Tackle Long-Distance Moves]]> Tue, 28 Nov 2023 08:00:00 +0000 Scott DeLuzio https://permalink.castos.com/podcast/2296/episode/1576174 Military life often involves frequent relocations, presenting unique challenges for families searching for a new home. Tiffany Klusacek and Ashlee Jankovich, real estate agents and military spouses, shed light on their specialized approach to making long-distance moves smoother. Discover how they leverage technology and community connections to support military families in finding the perfect place to call home.

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View the transcript for this episode.

]]> full 337 false Military life often involves frequent relocations, presenting unique challenges for families searching for a new home. Tiffany Klusacek and Ashlee Jankovich, real estate agents and military spouses, shed light on their specialized approach to making long-distance moves smoother. Discover how they leverage technology and community connections to support military families in finding the perfect place to call home.

Support the Show

Links & Resources

Transcript

View the transcript for this episode.

]]> 00:46:36 <![CDATA[Telling Stories and Leaving Legacies]]> Thu, 23 Nov 2023 08:00:00 +0000 Scott DeLuzio https://permalink.castos.com/podcast/2296/episode/1568891 In this episode of the Drive On podcast, we talk to Mike Nelson, a fiction author and Vietnam War veteran, about the importance of storytelling and documentation. Mike discusses how storytelling can be a powerful way to leave a legacy and preserve the stories of veterans. He also shares some examples of people who have inspired him with their stories.

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]]> full 336 false In this episode of the Drive On podcast, we talk to Mike Nelson, a fiction author and Vietnam War veteran, about the importance of storytelling and documentation. Mike discusses how storytelling can be a powerful way to leave a legacy and preserve the stories of veterans. He also shares some examples of people who have inspired him with their stories.

Support the Show

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Transcript

View the transcript for this episode.

]]> 00:44:56 <![CDATA[How to Get the VA Benefits You Deserve]]> Tue, 21 Nov 2023 08:00:00 +0000 Scott DeLuzio https://permalink.castos.com/podcast/2296/episode/1568145 In this episode of the Drive On podcast, we talk to Paul Lawrence, the former Under Secretary for Benefits at the VA, about his book "Veterans Benefits for You: Get What You Deserve." Paul shares his insights on the VA benefits system and how veterans can get the benefits they deserve. He also discusses some of the challenges that veterans face when navigating the system and offers advice to veterans who are thinking about applying for VA benefits.

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]]> full 335 false In this episode of the Drive On podcast, we talk to Paul Lawrence, the former Under Secretary for Benefits at the VA, about his book "Veterans Benefits for You: Get What You Deserve." Paul shares his insights on the VA benefits system and how veterans can get the benefits they deserve. He also discusses some of the challenges that veterans face when navigating the system and offers advice to veterans who are thinking about applying for VA benefits.

Support the Show

Links & Resources

Transcript

View the transcript for this episode.

]]> 00:41:12 <![CDATA[How Sheep Dog Impact Assistance Reshapes Lives]]> Thu, 16 Nov 2023 08:00:00 +0000 Scott DeLuzio https://permalink.castos.com/podcast/2296/episode/1563899 In this episode, we have the honor of chatting with Lance Nutt, a Marine Corps veteran who dedicated an impressive three decades to serving his country. Lance is now the founder and CEO of Sheep Dog Impact Assistance (SDIA), which is committed to supporting veterans and first responders.

Lance then shares the inspiration that led to the creation of SDIA. He discusses the organization's multifaceted approach, encapsulated by the "Get Off The Couch™" programming, which encompasses outdoor adventures, mental wellness training through Warrior PATHH, and the significance of continued service and disaster response.

Support the Show

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Transcript

View the transcript for this episode.

]]> full 334 false In this episode, we have the honor of chatting with Lance Nutt, a Marine Corps veteran who dedicated an impressive three decades to serving his country. Lance is now the founder and CEO of Sheep Dog Impact Assistance (SDIA), which is committed to supporting veterans and first responders.

Lance then shares the inspiration that led to the creation of SDIA. He discusses the organization's multifaceted approach, encapsulated by the "Get Off The Couch™" programming, which encompasses outdoor adventures, mental wellness training through Warrior PATHH, and the significance of continued service and disaster response.

Support the Show

Links & Resources

Transcript

View the transcript for this episode.

]]> 00:55:48 <![CDATA[From the Battlefield to the Page]]> Tue, 14 Nov 2023 08:00:00 +0000 Scott DeLuzio https://permalink.castos.com/podcast/2296/episode/1561244 In this episode of the Drive On podcast, we chat with Navy veteran and author Jeffrey Wilson about his journey from the battlefield to the page. Jeff talks about his experiences writing the TIER ONE series, a military thriller based on his own experiences. He also discusses the challenges of writing military fiction and the importance of using his platform to uplift his fellow veterans.

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Transcript

View the transcript for this episode.

]]> full 333 false In this episode of the Drive On podcast, we chat with Navy veteran and author Jeffrey Wilson about his journey from the battlefield to the page. Jeff talks about his experiences writing the TIER ONE series, a military thriller based on his own experiences. He also discusses the challenges of writing military fiction and the importance of using his platform to uplift his fellow veterans.

Support the Show

Links & Resources

Transcript

View the transcript for this episode.

]]> 00:54:28 <![CDATA[Healing Veterans One Dog at a Time]]> Thu, 09 Nov 2023 08:00:00 +0000 Scott DeLuzio https://permalink.castos.com/podcast/2296/episode/1556888 BJ Ganem takes us back to his time in Iraq when his vehicle was struck by an I.E.D. This life-altering moment left him with an amputated leg, a mild brain injury, and shrapnel wounds. It was also a pivotal moment that reshaped his perspective on life and led him on a path of service and advocacy.

Transitioning from the military to civilian life can be challenging, and BJ shares his personal experiences with this process. He discusses how he found his purpose in helping other veterans navigate this journey, particularly through his roles as an accredited Veteran Service Officer and his involvement in establishing the Veteran to Veteran Program with the Semper Fi & America's Fund.

BJ's commitment to supporting veterans led him to pursue a Master's in Social Work, with a focus on military life, further enhancing his ability to make a difference in the lives of veterans.

BJ is now the founder and CEO of Sierra Delta. Under BJ's leadership, Sierra Delta combines the love of dogs with service to veterans. The organization's core programs, the Life Buddy Program and the Life Force Program play a crucial role in supporting veterans. The Life Buddy Program assists veterans in obtaining and training dogs tailored to their specific needs. The Life Force Program unites veterans and supporters through various activities and initiatives that make a meaningful impact.

Support the Show

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Transcript

View the transcript for this episode.

]]> full 332 false BJ Ganem takes us back to his time in Iraq when his vehicle was struck by an I.E.D. This life-altering moment left him with an amputated leg, a mild brain injury, and shrapnel wounds. It was also a pivotal moment that reshaped his perspective on life and led him on a path of service and advocacy.

Transitioning from the military to civilian life can be challenging, and BJ shares his personal experiences with this process. He discusses how he found his purpose in helping other veterans navigate this journey, particularly through his roles as an accredited Veteran Service Officer and his involvement in establishing the Veteran to Veteran Program with the Semper Fi & America's Fund.

BJ's commitment to supporting veterans led him to pursue a Master's in Social Work, with a focus on military life, further enhancing his ability to make a difference in the lives of veterans.

BJ is now the founder and CEO of Sierra Delta. Under BJ's leadership, Sierra Delta combines the love of dogs with service to veterans. The organization's core programs, the Life Buddy Program and the Life Force Program play a crucial role in supporting veterans. The Life Buddy Program assists veterans in obtaining and training dogs tailored to their specific needs. The Life Force Program unites veterans and supporters through various activities and initiatives that make a meaningful impact.

Support the Show

Links & Resources

Transcript

View the transcript for this episode.

]]> 00:55:52 <![CDATA[Mindful Movement: Yoga for Veterans]]> Tue, 07 Nov 2023 08:00:00 +0000 Scott DeLuzio https://permalink.castos.com/podcast/2296/episode/1561172 Yoga has gained popularity worldwide, but some veterans may not fully understand the depth of its benefits. Today's guest, Nicole Byars, highlights how trauma-informed yoga can be a powerful tool for veterans, addressing both physical and mental well-being. Beyond the physical postures, Nicole unveils the broader aspects of yoga, including its profound impact on mental and emotional health.

For those looking to try trauma-informed yoga but don't know where to start, check out The Honest Yoga (link below) on Veterans Day to try a free virtual session. You can do it from the privacy and comfort of your home or wherever you are able to access the internet.

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]]> full 331 false Yoga has gained popularity worldwide, but some veterans may not fully understand the depth of its benefits. Today's guest, Nicole Byars, highlights how trauma-informed yoga can be a powerful tool for veterans, addressing both physical and mental well-being. Beyond the physical postures, Nicole unveils the broader aspects of yoga, including its profound impact on mental and emotional health.

For those looking to try trauma-informed yoga but don't know where to start, check out The Honest Yoga (link below) on Veterans Day to try a free virtual session. You can do it from the privacy and comfort of your home or wherever you are able to access the internet.

Support the Show

Links & Resources

Transcript

View the transcript for this episode.

]]> 00:53:10 <![CDATA[Cyber Opportunities for Veterans]]> Thu, 02 Nov 2023 08:00:00 +0000 Scott DeLuzio https://permalink.castos.com/podcast/2296/episode/1556835 In this episode, we look into the world of Cyber with Steve Stratton, a retired Green Beret who is on a mission to empower veterans to embrace exciting careers in technology. Steve's journey from his time in the US Army White House Communications and US Secret Service to becoming a Green Beret equipped him with invaluable insights into the skills veterans bring to the table.

With the Cyber industry facing an unprecedented talent shortage, veterans possess a unique combination of decision-making, leadership, and adaptability skills that make them ideal candidates for roles in this evolving field. Steve sheds light on the traits veterans should focus on developing to excel in entry-level and higher positions within Cyber, showing how their military background can be a driving force for success.

Steve also addresses the concerns veterans might have about entering a tech industry without prior experience. He discusses the companies and industries that are eager to train the right candidates, emphasizing the importance of continuous learning in a rapidly changing landscape.

Join us as we uncover the endless opportunities that Cyber presents for veterans and learn from Steve's expertise on how they can confidently transition from combat to the cutting-edge world of technology.

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Transcript

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]]> full 330 false In this episode, we look into the world of Cyber with Steve Stratton, a retired Green Beret who is on a mission to empower veterans to embrace exciting careers in technology. Steve's journey from his time in the US Army White House Communications and US Secret Service to becoming a Green Beret equipped him with invaluable insights into the skills veterans bring to the table.

With the Cyber industry facing an unprecedented talent shortage, veterans possess a unique combination of decision-making, leadership, and adaptability skills that make them ideal candidates for roles in this evolving field. Steve sheds light on the traits veterans should focus on developing to excel in entry-level and higher positions within Cyber, showing how their military background can be a driving force for success.

Steve also addresses the concerns veterans might have about entering a tech industry without prior experience. He discusses the companies and industries that are eager to train the right candidates, emphasizing the importance of continuous learning in a rapidly changing landscape.

Join us as we uncover the endless opportunities that Cyber presents for veterans and learn from Steve's expertise on how they can confidently transition from combat to the cutting-edge world of technology.

Support the Show

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Transcript

View the transcript for this episode.

]]> 00:54:42 <![CDATA[From Rescues to Resilience]]> Tue, 31 Oct 2023 08:00:00 +0000 Scott DeLuzio https://permalink.castos.com/podcast/2296/episode/1554608 Join us for a conversation with Justin Crane, a former rescue swimmer with a 12-year military background, including special operations missions. Justin's journey took an unexpected turn as he battled depression, substance abuse, and the feeling of being trapped in a victim mentality. However, a powerful transformation awaited him as he chose to take control of his life, embrace self-love, and rediscover his passion. Now, Justin helps others on their paths to empowerment and fulfillment.

Support the Show

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Transcript

View the transcript for this episode.

]]> full 329 false Join us for a conversation with Justin Crane, a former rescue swimmer with a 12-year military background, including special operations missions. Justin's journey took an unexpected turn as he battled depression, substance abuse, and the feeling of being trapped in a victim mentality. However, a powerful transformation awaited him as he chose to take control of his life, embrace self-love, and rediscover his passion. Now, Justin helps others on their paths to empowerment and fulfillment.

Support the Show

Links & Resources

Transcript

View the transcript for this episode.

]]> 00:52:29 <![CDATA[Transforming Veterans' Lives Through Fitness]]> Thu, 26 Oct 2023 08:00:00 +0000 Scott DeLuzio https://permalink.castos.com/podcast/2296/episode/1551943 In this episode, we explore veterans' fitness and well-being with Matt Priess, a Marine veteran and the founder of Body Ops Coaching. With a deep understanding of the toll that combat and post-deployment life can take on veterans, Matt embarked on a mission to provide personalized support and guidance in the fitness realm.

Matt's journey from his military service to founding Body Ops Coaching is a testament to his commitment to empowering fellow veterans. He seamlessly transitioned his expertise from owning and operating physical gyms to establishing a dynamic online platform that extends support to veterans far and wide. The COVID-19 pandemic proved to be an opportunity to reach even more veterans in need.

Tune in to this episode to gain insights into how Body Ops Coaching is not only transforming veterans' physical fitness but also fostering holistic well-being, making a lasting impact on the lives of those who have served.

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View the transcript for this episode.

]]> full 328 false In this episode, we explore veterans' fitness and well-being with Matt Priess, a Marine veteran and the founder of Body Ops Coaching. With a deep understanding of the toll that combat and post-deployment life can take on veterans, Matt embarked on a mission to provide personalized support and guidance in the fitness realm.

Matt's journey from his military service to founding Body Ops Coaching is a testament to his commitment to empowering fellow veterans. He seamlessly transitioned his expertise from owning and operating physical gyms to establishing a dynamic online platform that extends support to veterans far and wide. The COVID-19 pandemic proved to be an opportunity to reach even more veterans in need.

Tune in to this episode to gain insights into how Body Ops Coaching is not only transforming veterans' physical fitness but also fostering holistic well-being, making a lasting impact on the lives of those who have served.

Support the Show

Links & Resources

Transcript

View the transcript for this episode.

]]> 00:49:27 <![CDATA[Sleep Solutions for Veterans]]> Tue, 24 Oct 2023 08:00:00 +0000 Scott DeLuzio https://permalink.castos.com/podcast/2296/episode/1550281 In this episode, we have the privilege of speaking with Dr. Barry Krakow, a highly regarded sleep medicine specialist with an extensive career spanning over three decades.

One of the significant topics we address is the connection between trauma and chronic nightmares. Dr. Krakow sheds light on this link and shares valuable insights into managing and treating these distressing nightmares. We also discuss insomnia, exploring effective strategies that veterans and anyone grappling with insomnia can incorporate into their lives to achieve better sleep quality.

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Transcript

View the transcript for this episode.

]]> full 327 false In this episode, we have the privilege of speaking with Dr. Barry Krakow, a highly regarded sleep medicine specialist with an extensive career spanning over three decades.

One of the significant topics we address is the connection between trauma and chronic nightmares. Dr. Krakow sheds light on this link and shares valuable insights into managing and treating these distressing nightmares. We also discuss insomnia, exploring effective strategies that veterans and anyone grappling with insomnia can incorporate into their lives to achieve better sleep quality.

Support the Show

Links & Resources

Transcript

View the transcript for this episode.

]]> 00:54:51 <![CDATA[How Veterans Off-Grid is Changing Lives One Veteran at a Time]]> Thu, 19 Oct 2023 08:00:00 +0000 Scott DeLuzio https://permalink.castos.com/podcast/2296/episode/1548187 In this insightful conversation, we dive into the transformative journey of Ryan Timmermans, who turned his experiences as an Intel Analyst and Psychological Operations specialist in the US Army into a mission of hope. Join us as we explore how Veterans Off-Grid, the organization he founded, is revolutionizing veteran reintegration by providing housing stability, purpose, and holistic healing through sustainable eco-communities and innovative training.

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Transcript

View the transcript for this episode.

]]> full 326 false In this insightful conversation, we dive into the transformative journey of Ryan Timmermans, who turned his experiences as an Intel Analyst and Psychological Operations specialist in the US Army into a mission of hope. Join us as we explore how Veterans Off-Grid, the organization he founded, is revolutionizing veteran reintegration by providing housing stability, purpose, and holistic healing through sustainable eco-communities and innovative training.

Support the Show

Links & Resources

Transcript

View the transcript for this episode.

]]> 00:54:39 <![CDATA[Overcoming Challenges and Finding Purpose]]> Tue, 17 Oct 2023 08:00:00 +0000 Scott DeLuzio https://permalink.castos.com/podcast/2296/episode/1543648 Joseph Malone's life story is a remarkable journey of transformation and empowerment. From his troubled youth and a life on the streets, he took a courageous step by enlisting in the Marines, ultimately dedicating 13 years to service, including deployments to highly classified operations.

Joseph's military journey wasn't without its challenges. He faced Traumatic Brain Injury (TBI) and PTSD, struggles that many veterans confront. However, through his determination and resilience, he found a path towards healing and recovery.

His story of transitioning from a broken state to a life of purpose serves as an inspiration to countless others.

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Transcript

View the transcript for this episode.

]]> full 325 false Joseph Malone's life story is a remarkable journey of transformation and empowerment. From his troubled youth and a life on the streets, he took a courageous step by enlisting in the Marines, ultimately dedicating 13 years to service, including deployments to highly classified operations.

Joseph's military journey wasn't without its challenges. He faced Traumatic Brain Injury (TBI) and PTSD, struggles that many veterans confront. However, through his determination and resilience, he found a path towards healing and recovery.

His story of transitioning from a broken state to a life of purpose serves as an inspiration to countless others.

Support the Show

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Transcript

View the transcript for this episode.

]]> 00:51:47 <![CDATA[Suicide Prevention Starts With Youth]]> Thu, 12 Oct 2023 08:31:00 +0000 Scott DeLuzio https://permalink.castos.com/podcast/2296/episode/1543598 As a military and civilian police mom, Suzi Freeman possesses a unique perspective on the impact of high-stress professions on mental health. Her determination to equip herself with knowledge in suicide prevention stemmed from her desire to support her own children in their demanding roles while also recognizing the significance of mental health in these communities.

Suzi's approach to mental wellness is holistic and multidimensional, incorporating a diverse range of modalities. Her insights as a mother of five children have provided her with valuable insights into the needs of young minds and the challenges they face in navigating life's complexities.

Through her work, Suzi aims to break down the stigma surrounding mental health, especially within professions where seeking assistance might be misunderstood. Her journey of healing from childhood traumas also informs her approach to providing the support she wished she had received during her teenage years.

Support the Show

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Transcript

View the transcript for this episode.

]]> full 324 false As a military and civilian police mom, Suzi Freeman possesses a unique perspective on the impact of high-stress professions on mental health. Her determination to equip herself with knowledge in suicide prevention stemmed from her desire to support her own children in their demanding roles while also recognizing the significance of mental health in these communities.

Suzi's approach to mental wellness is holistic and multidimensional, incorporating a diverse range of modalities. Her insights as a mother of five children have provided her with valuable insights into the needs of young minds and the challenges they face in navigating life's complexities.

Through her work, Suzi aims to break down the stigma surrounding mental health, especially within professions where seeking assistance might be misunderstood. Her journey of healing from childhood traumas also informs her approach to providing the support she wished she had received during her teenage years.

Support the Show

Links & Resources

Transcript

View the transcript for this episode.

]]> 00:53:20 <![CDATA[Unleashing Masculine Strength Through Sobriety]]> Tue, 10 Oct 2023 08:00:00 +0000 Scott DeLuzio https://permalink.castos.com/podcast/2296/episode/1542088 In this episode, we listen to the powerful story of Kyle Perry, a USMC veteran. Kyle's journey to sobriety is a testament to his resilience and determination. After shedding an astounding 100 lbs following his decision to get sober, he has dedicated his life to helping others, particularly men and veterans, regain their strength and embrace a life of sobriety.

Kyle's mission goes beyond physical fitness; it extends to fostering a sense of masculinity that has often taken a back seat in today's discussions. His own experience with sobriety shapes his approach to guiding men and veterans through the process of regaining strength, both physically and mentally.

Join us for an enlightening conversation as Kyle Perry shares insights, strategies, and guidance for anyone seeking to embrace sobriety, unlock their strength, and thrive in both body and mind.

Support the Show

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Transcript

View the transcript for this episode.

]]> full 323 false In this episode, we listen to the powerful story of Kyle Perry, a USMC veteran. Kyle's journey to sobriety is a testament to his resilience and determination. After shedding an astounding 100 lbs following his decision to get sober, he has dedicated his life to helping others, particularly men and veterans, regain their strength and embrace a life of sobriety.

Kyle's mission goes beyond physical fitness; it extends to fostering a sense of masculinity that has often taken a back seat in today's discussions. His own experience with sobriety shapes his approach to guiding men and veterans through the process of regaining strength, both physically and mentally.

Join us for an enlightening conversation as Kyle Perry shares insights, strategies, and guidance for anyone seeking to embrace sobriety, unlock their strength, and thrive in both body and mind.

Support the Show

Links & Resources

Transcript

View the transcript for this episode.

]]> 00:53:07 <![CDATA[Healing from Loss and Trauma]]> Thu, 05 Oct 2023 08:00:00 +0000 Scott DeLuzio https://permalink.castos.com/podcast/2296/episode/1541500 Tina Erwin, a retired US Navy Commander, uses her deep understanding of human behavior shaped by her military career to offer healing for veterans who often grapple with the trauma of death, loss, and PTSD. Explore how a holistic approach that blends spiritual insights, metaphysical perspectives, and psychological strategies can aid veterans in their journey to healing from trauma, grief, and PTSD.

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Transcript

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]]> full 322 false Tina Erwin, a retired US Navy Commander, uses her deep understanding of human behavior shaped by her military career to offer healing for veterans who often grapple with the trauma of death, loss, and PTSD. Explore how a holistic approach that blends spiritual insights, metaphysical perspectives, and psychological strategies can aid veterans in their journey to healing from trauma, grief, and PTSD.

Support the Show

Links & Resources

Transcript

View the transcript for this episode.

]]> 00:51:02 <![CDATA[Soldier's Best Friend's Mission of Healing]]> Tue, 03 Oct 2023 08:00:00 +0000 Scott DeLuzio https://permalink.castos.com/podcast/2296/episode/1541494 Mik Milem, the Executive Director of Soldier's Best Friend, joins us to discuss how his organization is on a mission to heal and transform the lives of veterans living with combat-related PTSD or TBI.

Soldier's Best Friend pairs veterans with service and therapeutic companion dogs after an extensive training process. The organization also uses rescued dogs from local shelters to help the pet overpopulation problem while offering veterans a lifeline of support and healing.

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Transcript

View the transcript for this episode.

]]> full 321 false Mik Milem, the Executive Director of Soldier's Best Friend, joins us to discuss how his organization is on a mission to heal and transform the lives of veterans living with combat-related PTSD or TBI.

Soldier's Best Friend pairs veterans with service and therapeutic companion dogs after an extensive training process. The organization also uses rescued dogs from local shelters to help the pet overpopulation problem while offering veterans a lifeline of support and healing.

Support the Show

Links & Resources

Transcript

View the transcript for this episode.

]]> 00:50:58 <![CDATA[Embracing Change and Reaching New Heights]]> Thu, 28 Sep 2023 08:00:00 +0000 Scott DeLuzio https://permalink.castos.com/podcast/2296/episode/1540973 Join us for an insightful conversation with Veronica Karaman, a true inspiration who has transformed her athletic journey into a powerful framework for success. "The Champion's Way" is not only a mindset but a holistic approach to peak performance, touching on physical vitality, mental clarity, emotional resonance, and spiritual harmony. Veronica's belief that there's a champion within everyone carries immense relevance for those in the military, as she offers strategies to overcome obstacles and embrace change with resilience. Tune in to discover how you can activate "The Champion's Way" and unleash your highest potential.

Support the Show

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Transcript

View the transcript for this episode.

]]> full 320 false Join us for an insightful conversation with Veronica Karaman, a true inspiration who has transformed her athletic journey into a powerful framework for success. "The Champion's Way" is not only a mindset but a holistic approach to peak performance, touching on physical vitality, mental clarity, emotional resonance, and spiritual harmony. Veronica's belief that there's a champion within everyone carries immense relevance for those in the military, as she offers strategies to overcome obstacles and embrace change with resilience. Tune in to discover how you can activate "The Champion's Way" and unleash your highest potential.

Support the Show

Links & Resources

Transcript

View the transcript for this episode.

]]> 00:53:16 <![CDATA[Empowering Military Families through The Ripple Effect]]> Tue, 26 Sep 2023 08:00:00 +0000 Scott DeLuzio https://permalink.castos.com/podcast/2296/episode/1536914 In this episode, we have the privilege of speaking with Wendy Shackley, a mother whose personal tragedy ignited a mission of hope and healing. Through The Ripple Effect, Wendy aims to reshape the narrative of veteran reintegration, inspired by her son Joel's journey through military service, PTSD, and his untimely passing. Join us as we look into Wendy's advocacy for a more comprehensive reintegration system, the critical role of peer support, and the impactful strides her nonprofit is making in honoring veterans and their families.

Support the Show

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Transcript

View the transcript for this episode.

]]> full 319 false In this episode, we have the privilege of speaking with Wendy Shackley, a mother whose personal tragedy ignited a mission of hope and healing. Through The Ripple Effect, Wendy aims to reshape the narrative of veteran reintegration, inspired by her son Joel's journey through military service, PTSD, and his untimely passing. Join us as we look into Wendy's advocacy for a more comprehensive reintegration system, the critical role of peer support, and the impactful strides her nonprofit is making in honoring veterans and their families.

Support the Show

Links & Resources

Transcript

View the transcript for this episode.

]]> 00:53:41 <![CDATA[Navigating Military and Civilian Commitments]]> Thu, 21 Sep 2023 08:00:00 +0000 Scott DeLuzio https://permalink.castos.com/podcast/2296/episode/1535777 In this episode, we sit down with Ian Murray, who shares his side of the story, where he juggles military obligations and a civilian job. His story unfolds with a seemingly innocuous miscommunication that spirals into an unexpected series of events, including his arrest and a subsequent investigation. Ian shares the impact this ordeal had on his personal life, emotionally and financially. He offers valuable advice and tips for those in the Reserves and National Guard, emphasizing the significance of effective communication, documentation, and seeking legal representation.

Support the Show

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Transcript

View the transcript for this episode.

]]> full 318 false In this episode, we sit down with Ian Murray, who shares his side of the story, where he juggles military obligations and a civilian job. His story unfolds with a seemingly innocuous miscommunication that spirals into an unexpected series of events, including his arrest and a subsequent investigation. Ian shares the impact this ordeal had on his personal life, emotionally and financially. He offers valuable advice and tips for those in the Reserves and National Guard, emphasizing the significance of effective communication, documentation, and seeking legal representation.

Support the Show

Links & Resources

Transcript

View the transcript for this episode.

]]> 00:54:10 <![CDATA[Behind the Scenes of 'Ranger' Documentary]]> Tue, 19 Sep 2023 08:00:00 +0000 Scott DeLuzio https://permalink.castos.com/podcast/2296/episode/1535768 Join us for a discussion with Sean Spencer and David Waterhouse, the minds behind the documentary "Ranger." David describes both the best and worst day of his life, which happen to be the same day, the challenges of mental health, and the journey towards recovery and resilience after military service. Learn how storytelling can bridge the gap between veterans and civilians, fostering empathy and change.

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Transcript

View the transcript for this episode.

]]> full 317 false Join us for a discussion with Sean Spencer and David Waterhouse, the minds behind the documentary "Ranger." David describes both the best and worst day of his life, which happen to be the same day, the challenges of mental health, and the journey towards recovery and resilience after military service. Learn how storytelling can bridge the gap between veterans and civilians, fostering empathy and change.

Support the Show

Links & Resources

Transcript

View the transcript for this episode.

]]> 00:54:45 <![CDATA[Saving Lives Through Connection]]> Thu, 14 Sep 2023 08:00:00 +0000 Scott DeLuzio https://permalink.castos.com/podcast/2296/episode/1533747 In this episode, Frank Larkin discusses Warrior Call, a grassroots campaign that's transforming the lives of military personnel and veterans.

Warrior Call's mission is simple yet powerful - connecting hearts and reducing isolation through increased peer-to-peer connection. By directing individuals to life-saving resources and addressing invisible wounds, this campaign tackles the pressing issue of suicide rates among those who have served.

Frank Larkin, a veteran himself and the 40th U.S. Senate Sergeant at Arms, shares his personal journey, having lost his son Ryan, a decorated Navy SEAL, to suicide. Through Warrior Call, Frank's commitment to preventing similar tragedies remains unwavering. Join us for an inspiring conversation on the impact of connection, hope, and healing.

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Transcript

View the transcript for this episode.

]]> full 316 false In this episode, Frank Larkin discusses Warrior Call, a grassroots campaign that's transforming the lives of military personnel and veterans.

Warrior Call's mission is simple yet powerful - connecting hearts and reducing isolation through increased peer-to-peer connection. By directing individuals to life-saving resources and addressing invisible wounds, this campaign tackles the pressing issue of suicide rates among those who have served.

Frank Larkin, a veteran himself and the 40th U.S. Senate Sergeant at Arms, shares his personal journey, having lost his son Ryan, a decorated Navy SEAL, to suicide. Through Warrior Call, Frank's commitment to preventing similar tragedies remains unwavering. Join us for an inspiring conversation on the impact of connection, hope, and healing.

Support the Show

Links & Resources

Transcript

View the transcript for this episode.

]]> 00:52:44 <![CDATA[Lessons from History Honoring Japanese American WWII Heroes]]> Tue, 12 Sep 2023 08:00:00 +0000 Scott DeLuzio https://permalink.castos.com/podcast/2296/episode/1532682 In this powerful episode, we dive into the pages of "American Grit," a book authored by John Suzuki that unravels the harrowing history of Japanese concentration camps in the US after Pearl Harbor. John sheds light on the challenges faced by Japanese American men who, despite facing injustices, volunteered to serve in the US military during WWII with unwavering honor and bravery. We hear about their acts of heroism that shaped the course of history. Moreover, John delves into the difficulties that Japanese American soldiers and their families encountered after the war and how their experiences highlight the importance of safeguarding civil liberties and ensuring equal rights for all citizens. Drawing lessons from history, John passionately advocates for preventing such injustices from recurring and creating a more compassionate society. Join us as we explore the resilience and valor of Japanese American veterans and their enduring impact on American history.

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View the transcript for this episode.

]]> full 315 false In this powerful episode, we dive into the pages of "American Grit," a book authored by John Suzuki that unravels the harrowing history of Japanese concentration camps in the US after Pearl Harbor. John sheds light on the challenges faced by Japanese American men who, despite facing injustices, volunteered to serve in the US military during WWII with unwavering honor and bravery. We hear about their acts of heroism that shaped the course of history. Moreover, John delves into the difficulties that Japanese American soldiers and their families encountered after the war and how their experiences highlight the importance of safeguarding civil liberties and ensuring equal rights for all citizens. Drawing lessons from history, John passionately advocates for preventing such injustices from recurring and creating a more compassionate society. Join us as we explore the resilience and valor of Japanese American veterans and their enduring impact on American history.

Support the Show

Links & Resources

Transcript

View the transcript for this episode.

]]> 00:52:17 <![CDATA[Defending Against Health Risks]]> Thu, 07 Sep 2023 08:00:00 +0000 Scott DeLuzio https://permalink.castos.com/podcast/2296/episode/1532662 Drawing from his book "Discovering the Nature of Longevity," Douglas Mulhall sheds light on the potential dangers posed by certain toxins and heavy metals commonly encountered by service members. Through his research, he reveals how these factors contribute to specific diseases and how innovative treatments are now available to remove harmful toxins from the body before they wreak havoc on health. Douglas emphasizes the importance of proactive measures in preserving longevity and optimizing heart health. With valuable insights for service members transitioning to civilian life, this conversation will empower both military leaders and medical professionals in supporting service members' well-being and longevity.

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Transcript

View the transcript for this episode.

]]> full 314 false Drawing from his book "Discovering the Nature of Longevity," Douglas Mulhall sheds light on the potential dangers posed by certain toxins and heavy metals commonly encountered by service members. Through his research, he reveals how these factors contribute to specific diseases and how innovative treatments are now available to remove harmful toxins from the body before they wreak havoc on health. Douglas emphasizes the importance of proactive measures in preserving longevity and optimizing heart health. With valuable insights for service members transitioning to civilian life, this conversation will empower both military leaders and medical professionals in supporting service members' well-being and longevity.

Support the Show

Links & Resources

Transcript

View the transcript for this episode.

]]> 00:53:40 <![CDATA[Patient Empowerment: A Guide for Veterans' Health]]> Tue, 05 Sep 2023 08:00:00 +0000 Scott DeLuzio https://permalink.castos.com/podcast/2296/episode/1530100 Join physician and author Ann Hester as we discuss patient empowerment for veterans. Through her book "Patient Empowerment 101," Ann equips readers with the essential knowledge to navigate their healthcare journey at the VA and beyond. From crafting concise "elevator speeches" to communicate effectively with doctors to maintaining meticulous health records, Ann guides veterans in advocating for the care they deserve.

Ann's advice for an "elevator speech" to provide your doctor*:

  1. Context: Describe what was going on when symptoms started.
  2. Character: Describe the type of pain (i.e., chest pain more like heartburn or an elephant sitting on your chest).
  3. Location: Describe in specific detail where the pain is felt ("upper right abdomen" is better than a general "stomach pain").
  4. Severity: The 1-10 scale of your pain level. 1 = not painful 10 = the worst pain you've ever felt.
  5. Timing: Describe how long the problem lasts when it presents itself. Does it happen for a few minutes at a time and then go away, or is it persistent?
  6. Duration: Describe how long this problem has been bothering you.
  7. Associated Signs and Symptoms: Other things that occur with this problem could point to the problem.
  8. Modifying Factors: Describe things you do that improve the problem. For example, pain relievers may make a problem better temporarily. On the other hand, sitting for long periods may make the situation worse. All are relevant.

* - Hint: Copy the eight points above so you have them for future reference when you need them.

Support the Show

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Transcript

View the transcript for this episode.

]]> full 313 false Join physician and author Ann Hester as we discuss patient empowerment for veterans. Through her book "Patient Empowerment 101," Ann equips readers with the essential knowledge to navigate their healthcare journey at the VA and beyond. From crafting concise "elevator speeches" to communicate effectively with doctors to maintaining meticulous health records, Ann guides veterans in advocating for the care they deserve.

Ann's advice for an "elevator speech" to provide your doctor*:

  1. Context: Describe what was going on when symptoms started.
  2. Character: Describe the type of pain (i.e., chest pain more like heartburn or an elephant sitting on your chest).
  3. Location: Describe in specific detail where the pain is felt ("upper right abdomen" is better than a general "stomach pain").
  4. Severity: The 1-10 scale of your pain level. 1 = not painful 10 = the worst pain you've ever felt.
  5. Timing: Describe how long the problem lasts when it presents itself. Does it happen for a few minutes at a time and then go away, or is it persistent?
  6. Duration: Describe how long this problem has been bothering you.
  7. Associated Signs and Symptoms: Other things that occur with this problem could point to the problem.
  8. Modifying Factors: Describe things you do that improve the problem. For example, pain relievers may make a problem better temporarily. On the other hand, sitting for long periods may make the situation worse. All are relevant.

* - Hint: Copy the eight points above so you have them for future reference when you need them.

Support the Show

Links & Resources

Transcript

View the transcript for this episode.

]]> 00:51:48 <![CDATA[Healing Veterans Holistically]]> Thu, 31 Aug 2023 08:00:00 +0000 Scott DeLuzio https://permalink.castos.com/podcast/2296/episode/1529139 Jackie Jones is a holistic therapist with over a decade of experience in treating military service members and veterans. As a former art therapy intern at the National Intrepid Center of Excellence (NICoE), Jackie developed a unique holistic approach that addresses the mind, body, soul, and space of each client, leading to profound healing on all levels. Through her art therapy and yoga programs, Jackie has witnessed significant transformations in service members and veterans dealing with PTSD, moral injury, anxiety, depression, and pain. Discover how she works to create personalized treatment plans to empower veterans on their healing journey.

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]]> full 312 false Jackie Jones is a holistic therapist with over a decade of experience in treating military service members and veterans. As a former art therapy intern at the National Intrepid Center of Excellence (NICoE), Jackie developed a unique holistic approach that addresses the mind, body, soul, and space of each client, leading to profound healing on all levels. Through her art therapy and yoga programs, Jackie has witnessed significant transformations in service members and veterans dealing with PTSD, moral injury, anxiety, depression, and pain. Discover how she works to create personalized treatment plans to empower veterans on their healing journey.

Support the Show

Links & Resources

Transcript

View the transcript for this episode.

]]> 00:48:56 <![CDATA[Embracing Discomfort in Transition]]> Tue, 29 Aug 2023 08:00:00 +0000 Scott DeLuzio https://permalink.castos.com/podcast/2296/episode/1525258 Join us as we talk to Cristina Ramirez, a transformational coach and author of "Empowered by Discomfort." Cristina's unique approach centers around using discomfort as a path for growth, and in this episode, we specifically focus on how this philosophy applies to military veterans transitioning into civilian life. We discuss the challenges veterans may face during this period and how embracing discomfort can be a transformative tool in creating a new sense of purpose and direction. Cristina shares valuable insights and practical strategies to shift the conversation around challenges, build resilience, and confidently navigate life's transitions. If you're a veteran seeking to redefine your possibilities or anyone ready to embrace discomfort for personal growth, this episode is a must-listen.

Support the Show

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Transcript

View the transcript for this episode. https://driveonpodcast.com/episode-311-cristina-ramirez-embracing-discomfort-in-transition-transcript/

]]> full 311 false Join us as we talk to Cristina Ramirez, a transformational coach and author of "Empowered by Discomfort." Cristina's unique approach centers around using discomfort as a path for growth, and in this episode, we specifically focus on how this philosophy applies to military veterans transitioning into civilian life. We discuss the challenges veterans may face during this period and how embracing discomfort can be a transformative tool in creating a new sense of purpose and direction. Cristina shares valuable insights and practical strategies to shift the conversation around challenges, build resilience, and confidently navigate life's transitions. If you're a veteran seeking to redefine your possibilities or anyone ready to embrace discomfort for personal growth, this episode is a must-listen.

Support the Show

Links & Resources

Transcript

View the transcript for this episode. https://driveonpodcast.com/episode-311-cristina-ramirez-embracing-discomfort-in-transition-transcript/

]]> 00:50:51 <![CDATA[The Power of Outdoor Therapy]]> Thu, 24 Aug 2023 08:00:00 +0000 Scott DeLuzio https://permalink.castos.com/podcast/2296/episode/1525126 In this episode, we delve into the inspiring story of High Timber Dreams, founded by Ryan Gascon and his wife, Dehanna. From their shared love for the outdoors to their passion for supporting those who make daily sacrifices for society, Ryan and Dehanna have built a unique outdoor therapy program. Through mountain hikes, hunting, fishing, foraging, and other nature-based experiences, they aim to enhance the emotional and mental well-being of Veterans, Active Duty personnel, First Responders, and Youth. Join us as we explore the transformative power of outdoor therapy and its positive impact on the lives of these everyday heroes.

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Transcript

View the transcript for this episode.

]]> full 310 false In this episode, we delve into the inspiring story of High Timber Dreams, founded by Ryan Gascon and his wife, Dehanna. From their shared love for the outdoors to their passion for supporting those who make daily sacrifices for society, Ryan and Dehanna have built a unique outdoor therapy program. Through mountain hikes, hunting, fishing, foraging, and other nature-based experiences, they aim to enhance the emotional and mental well-being of Veterans, Active Duty personnel, First Responders, and Youth. Join us as we explore the transformative power of outdoor therapy and its positive impact on the lives of these everyday heroes.

Support the Show

Links & Resources

Transcript

View the transcript for this episode.

]]> 00:49:04 <![CDATA[The Rifle: Uniting Voices of Service and Sacrifice]]> Tue, 22 Aug 2023 08:00:00 +0000 Scott DeLuzio https://permalink.castos.com/podcast/2296/episode/1525111 Join us for an insightful conversation with Andrew Biggio, Marine veteran and founder of Boston's Wounded Vet Run. Discover how his passion for World War II history ignited a mission to honor the legacy of America's Greatest Generation. Through heartfelt interviews and an inspiring book titled "The Rifle," Andrew unites voices of service and sacrifice, preserving the memories of these WWII veterans. As we discuss his return trips to Europe's battle sites, we'll learn about the impact those trips had on the WWII veterans and the younger veterans who escorted them back.

Support the Show

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Transcript

View the transcript for this episode.

]]> full 309 false Join us for an insightful conversation with Andrew Biggio, Marine veteran and founder of Boston's Wounded Vet Run. Discover how his passion for World War II history ignited a mission to honor the legacy of America's Greatest Generation. Through heartfelt interviews and an inspiring book titled "The Rifle," Andrew unites voices of service and sacrifice, preserving the memories of these WWII veterans. As we discuss his return trips to Europe's battle sites, we'll learn about the impact those trips had on the WWII veterans and the younger veterans who escorted them back.

Support the Show

Links & Resources

Transcript

View the transcript for this episode.

]]> 00:45:10 <![CDATA[Healing PTSD with Flow State Yoga]]> Thu, 17 Aug 2023 08:00:00 +0000 Scott DeLuzio https://permalink.castos.com/podcast/2296/episode/1522640 In this episode, we sit down with Dashama Gordon, best-selling author and founder of the Flow State Institute & Bright Future Foundation. Dashama shares her passion for helping humanity access the flow state and live their best lives. She discusses the importance of mental health as the number one priority for everyone, explores ways to create a fulfilling life of contribution and impact, and emphasizes the power of letting go of the past with forgiveness and gratitude. Join us as we explore the healing potential of flow state yoga, specifically in the context of healing PTSD for veterans and supporting military families. Dashama provides valuable insights, resources, and guidance on accessing healing and support through the Flow State Yoga Institute.

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Transcript

View the transcript for this episode.

]]> full 308 false In this episode, we sit down with Dashama Gordon, best-selling author and founder of the Flow State Institute & Bright Future Foundation. Dashama shares her passion for helping humanity access the flow state and live their best lives. She discusses the importance of mental health as the number one priority for everyone, explores ways to create a fulfilling life of contribution and impact, and emphasizes the power of letting go of the past with forgiveness and gratitude. Join us as we explore the healing potential of flow state yoga, specifically in the context of healing PTSD for veterans and supporting military families. Dashama provides valuable insights, resources, and guidance on accessing healing and support through the Flow State Yoga Institute.

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Transcript

View the transcript for this episode.

]]> 00:50:44 <![CDATA[Generation Z and Military Service]]> Tue, 15 Aug 2023 08:00:00 +0000 Scott DeLuzio https://permalink.castos.com/podcast/2296/episode/1517992 In this episode, we sit down with Matthew Weiss, a Second Lieutenant in the Marine Corps, to discuss the challenges faced in military recruiting with Generation Z.

Matthew sheds light on the reasons behind the decline in service interest and proposes strategies to revitalize military recruitment. We discuss ways to reshape the appeal of military service and foster a stronger connection with the next generation.

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Transcript

View the transcript for this episode.

]]> full 307 false In this episode, we sit down with Matthew Weiss, a Second Lieutenant in the Marine Corps, to discuss the challenges faced in military recruiting with Generation Z.

Matthew sheds light on the reasons behind the decline in service interest and proposes strategies to revitalize military recruitment. We discuss ways to reshape the appeal of military service and foster a stronger connection with the next generation.

Support the Show

Links & Resources

Transcript

View the transcript for this episode.

]]> 00:50:38 <![CDATA[Activating the Brain's Healing Process]]> Thu, 10 Aug 2023 08:00:00 +0000 Scott DeLuzio https://permalink.castos.com/podcast/2296/episode/1516439 Drawing upon his extensive experience and expertise, Dr. Theodore Henderson challenges long-held beliefs about brain disorders, offering a fresh perspective on conditions such as PTSD, depression, traumatic brain injury, and chronic fatigue.

Through his groundbreaking research and patented treatments, he demonstrates how the brain's own healing process can be activated, revolutionizing the way we approach these complex conditions. From viruses in the brain causing depression to the use of multi-watt infrared laser therapy, Dr. Henderson opens our eyes to a new world of possibilities.

Prepare to have your assumptions shattered and hope restored!

Support the Show

Links & Resources

Transcript

View the transcript for this episode.

]]> full 306 false Drawing upon his extensive experience and expertise, Dr. Theodore Henderson challenges long-held beliefs about brain disorders, offering a fresh perspective on conditions such as PTSD, depression, traumatic brain injury, and chronic fatigue.

Through his groundbreaking research and patented treatments, he demonstrates how the brain's own healing process can be activated, revolutionizing the way we approach these complex conditions. From viruses in the brain causing depression to the use of multi-watt infrared laser therapy, Dr. Henderson opens our eyes to a new world of possibilities.

Prepare to have your assumptions shattered and hope restored!

Support the Show

Links & Resources

Transcript

View the transcript for this episode.

]]> 00:53:09 <![CDATA[Navigating the Transition]]> Tue, 08 Aug 2023 08:00:00 +0000 Scott DeLuzio https://permalink.castos.com/podcast/2296/episode/1511248 As a retired Navy SEAL officer and combat veteran, Marty Strong is no stranger to challenges. In this episode, our focus shifts to his transition from the military to the business world, where Marty has carved a path as a CEO. We explore the difficulties many veterans encounter when trying to apply their military service to the civilian job market and how Marty overcame these obstacles with determination and adaptability. Drawing on his extensive knowledge and experience, Marty shares practical advice, personal anecdotes, and insights on leadership, organizational dynamics, and finding purpose beyond the battlefield.

Support the Show

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Transcript

View the transcript for this episode.

]]> full 305 false As a retired Navy SEAL officer and combat veteran, Marty Strong is no stranger to challenges. In this episode, our focus shifts to his transition from the military to the business world, where Marty has carved a path as a CEO. We explore the difficulties many veterans encounter when trying to apply their military service to the civilian job market and how Marty overcame these obstacles with determination and adaptability. Drawing on his extensive knowledge and experience, Marty shares practical advice, personal anecdotes, and insights on leadership, organizational dynamics, and finding purpose beyond the battlefield.

Support the Show

Links & Resources

Transcript

View the transcript for this episode.

]]> 00:51:25 <![CDATA[Empowering Military Children]]> Thu, 03 Aug 2023 08:00:00 +0000 Scott DeLuzio https://permalink.castos.com/podcast/2296/episode/1510016 In this heartfelt episode, we have the privilege of speaking with Grace Burgess, a remarkable individual whose father lost his leg to an IED in Afghanistan when she was only nine years old. Grace opens up about the challenges she faced as a young military child in a reservist family, including the profound loneliness she experienced as her friends struggled to understand her unique journey.

We discuss the complexities of separation from military life and the struggles Grace encountered during this transition. Through her resilience and determination, Grace not only found her own healing but also established a powerful platform through her podcast, "Grace of a Military Child and Life." Join us as we explore the stories of military children, their shared experiences, and the inspiring advocacy work Grace is leading to bring awareness, support, and a sense of community to military children worldwide.

Support the Show

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Transcript

View the transcript for this episode.

]]> full 304 false In this heartfelt episode, we have the privilege of speaking with Grace Burgess, a remarkable individual whose father lost his leg to an IED in Afghanistan when she was only nine years old. Grace opens up about the challenges she faced as a young military child in a reservist family, including the profound loneliness she experienced as her friends struggled to understand her unique journey.

We discuss the complexities of separation from military life and the struggles Grace encountered during this transition. Through her resilience and determination, Grace not only found her own healing but also established a powerful platform through her podcast, "Grace of a Military Child and Life." Join us as we explore the stories of military children, their shared experiences, and the inspiring advocacy work Grace is leading to bring awareness, support, and a sense of community to military children worldwide.

Support the Show

Links & Resources

Transcript

View the transcript for this episode.

]]> 00:52:22 <![CDATA[Accelerated Resolution Therapy (ART) Unveiled]]> Tue, 01 Aug 2023 08:00:00 +0000 Scott DeLuzio https://permalink.castos.com/podcast/2296/episode/1510014 In this episode, we dive into trauma healing with Brooke Bralove, an experienced psychotherapist and Advanced Accelerated Resolution Therapy (ART) practitioner. With over 20 years of clinical expertise, Brooke guides us through the groundbreaking approach of ART, an evidence-based treatment modality similar to EMDR but with its unique elements. We explore the principles, techniques, and stunning transformations witnessed through ART, which can facilitate healing in as few as 1-5 sessions. Join us for an enlightening conversation on how ART empowers individuals to reprocess traumatic memories, overcome addiction, depression, anxiety, and chronic pain, and find renewed hope and purpose in their lives.

Support the Show

Links & Resources

Transcript

View the transcript for this episode.

]]> full 303 false In this episode, we dive into trauma healing with Brooke Bralove, an experienced psychotherapist and Advanced Accelerated Resolution Therapy (ART) practitioner. With over 20 years of clinical expertise, Brooke guides us through the groundbreaking approach of ART, an evidence-based treatment modality similar to EMDR but with its unique elements. We explore the principles, techniques, and stunning transformations witnessed through ART, which can facilitate healing in as few as 1-5 sessions. Join us for an enlightening conversation on how ART empowers individuals to reprocess traumatic memories, overcome addiction, depression, anxiety, and chronic pain, and find renewed hope and purpose in their lives.

Support the Show

Links & Resources

Transcript

View the transcript for this episode.

]]> 00:55:15 <![CDATA[The Veteran Workbook]]> Thu, 27 Jul 2023 08:00:00 +0000 Scott DeLuzio https://permalink.castos.com/podcast/2296/episode/1503727 In this episode, we welcome back Navy veteran Jenna Carlton to discuss her new workbook, The Veteran Workbook. Jenna understands the unique experiences veterans carry with them and the challenges they face when transitioning to civilian life. Her workbook empowers veterans to reflect on their service, design their future, and redefine themselves through their own words. Whether a veteran recently left the military or retired, this workbook offers valuable insights and guidance for building structure, finding purpose, and making the most out of civilian life.

Support the Show

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Transcript

View the transcript for this episode.

]]> full 302 false In this episode, we welcome back Navy veteran Jenna Carlton to discuss her new workbook, The Veteran Workbook. Jenna understands the unique experiences veterans carry with them and the challenges they face when transitioning to civilian life. Her workbook empowers veterans to reflect on their service, design their future, and redefine themselves through their own words. Whether a veteran recently left the military or retired, this workbook offers valuable insights and guidance for building structure, finding purpose, and making the most out of civilian life.

Support the Show

Links & Resources

Transcript

View the transcript for this episode.

]]> 00:52:09 <![CDATA[Finding Purpose and Navigating Military Transition]]> Tue, 25 Jul 2023 08:00:00 +0000 Scott DeLuzio https://permalink.castos.com/podcast/2296/episode/1501231 In this episode, USAF veteran, Mary Polanco, dives into the psychological and emotional challenges that veterans face during the transition from military to civilian life. Gain valuable insights into the unique struggles and discover strategies to find purpose, heal from depression, and thrive beyond the uniform.

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Transcript

View the transcript for this episode.

]]> full 301 false In this episode, USAF veteran, Mary Polanco, dives into the psychological and emotional challenges that veterans face during the transition from military to civilian life. Gain valuable insights into the unique struggles and discover strategies to find purpose, heal from depression, and thrive beyond the uniform.

Support the Show

Links & Resources

Transcript

View the transcript for this episode.

]]> 00:52:06 <![CDATA[Embracing Healthy Anger]]> Thu, 20 Jul 2023 08:00:00 +0000 Scott DeLuzio https://permalink.castos.com/podcast/2296/episode/1501206 In this episode, psychotherapist Bronwyn Schweigerdt takes us on a journey of self-discovery and healing as she reveals the importance of expressing and externalizing deeply buried emotions, including anger and rage. Discover how embracing these emotions can lead to profound transformations and liberation from mental illness. Join us as we explore the path to emotional healing and well-being.

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Transcript

View the transcript for this episode.

]]> full 300 false In this episode, psychotherapist Bronwyn Schweigerdt takes us on a journey of self-discovery and healing as she reveals the importance of expressing and externalizing deeply buried emotions, including anger and rage. Discover how embracing these emotions can lead to profound transformations and liberation from mental illness. Join us as we explore the path to emotional healing and well-being.

Support the Show

Links & Resources

Transcript

View the transcript for this episode.

]]> 00:52:45 <![CDATA[Enhancing Safety - Lessons from a Special Forces Veteran]]> Tue, 18 Jul 2023 08:00:00 +0000 Scott DeLuzio https://permalink.castos.com/podcast/2296/episode/1496232 John Brewer is an Army Special Forces veteran who has dedicated his post-military career to enabling and empowering individuals in safety and security.

As the author of the upcoming book "Fight For Your Best Life," John leverages his experiences training and working alongside indigenous forces in conflict zones to equip others with the tools they need to protect themselves and others. From foundational values to knowledge acquisition and skill development, John's multidisciplinary approach offers a comprehensive guide to personal safety and self-defense.

Gain valuable insights from John's expertise and discover how to create a safer, more secure environment for yourself and your loved ones.

Support the Show

Links & Resources

Transcript

View the transcript for this episode.

]]> full 299 false John Brewer is an Army Special Forces veteran who has dedicated his post-military career to enabling and empowering individuals in safety and security.

As the author of the upcoming book "Fight For Your Best Life," John leverages his experiences training and working alongside indigenous forces in conflict zones to equip others with the tools they need to protect themselves and others. From foundational values to knowledge acquisition and skill development, John's multidisciplinary approach offers a comprehensive guide to personal safety and self-defense.

Gain valuable insights from John's expertise and discover how to create a safer, more secure environment for yourself and your loved ones.

Support the Show

Links & Resources

Transcript

View the transcript for this episode.

]]> 00:53:20 <![CDATA[Armed Forces Initiative Empowering Conservationists]]> Thu, 13 Jul 2023 08:00:00 +0000 Scott DeLuzio https://permalink.castos.com/podcast/2296/episode/1494146 Trevor Hubbs, Coordinator for the Armed Forces Initiative, shares his military background and dives into the transformative work of the initiative. Learn how the Armed Forces Initiative engages military veterans in conservation, providing them with a new mission and empowering them in their transition from military to civilian life. Join us for an inspiring conversation about the connection between outdoor experiences, community, and the well-being of our military community.

Support the Show

Links & Resources

Transcript

View the transcript for this episode.

]]> full 298 false Trevor Hubbs, Coordinator for the Armed Forces Initiative, shares his military background and dives into the transformative work of the initiative. Learn how the Armed Forces Initiative engages military veterans in conservation, providing them with a new mission and empowering them in their transition from military to civilian life. Join us for an inspiring conversation about the connection between outdoor experiences, community, and the well-being of our military community.

Support the Show

Links & Resources

Transcript

View the transcript for this episode.

]]> 00:51:08 <![CDATA[Mental Health and Leadership - a Soldier's Perspective]]> Tue, 11 Jul 2023 08:00:00 +0000 Scott DeLuzio https://permalink.castos.com/podcast/2296/episode/1493952 Dan Joseph talks about his background, including his experience in the biotech industry and how meeting military service members inspired him to join the Army. He discusses the challenges he faced as an older recruit and the lessons he learned during his time in the military.

Dan also shares insights on leadership and resilience that he gained from his experience in the Army. He also talks about his book, "Backpack to Rucksack," and offers practical advice for anyone looking to develop leadership and resilience skills. In addition, Dan shares how his experience in martial arts has helped him develop mental toughness and respect for hierarchy.

Support the Show

Timestamped Chapter Summary

  • Introduction to Dan Joseph and his background (00:00:00)
  • Dan's inspiration to join the military (00:01:00)
  • Dan's background and his parents' experience as refugees from Iraq (00:03:00)
  • Lessons learned from military service members (00:05:00)
  • The impact of ISIS on Dan's family and community (00:07:00)
  • Challenges faced as an older recruit (00:08:00)
  • Advice for older individuals considering military service (00:11:00)
  • Overview of "Backpack to Rucksack" (00:12:30)
  • Leadership lessons from the military (00:14:00)
  • Resilience and mental toughness in the military (00:16:30)
  • The value of practicing martial arts for military service (00:19:00)
  • Importance of self-awareness (00:21:00)
  • Building trust and effective communication (00:23:00)
  • The role of mentors in leadership development (00:25:30)
  • Lessons learned from military deployments (00:28:00)
  • The importance of teamwork (00:30:00)
  • Dan's transition from military to civilian life (00:32:30)
  • The impact of the lockdown on military personnel (00:34:00)
  • Dan's motivation for studying leadership academically (00:36:00)
  • The benefits of academic study for military leadership (00:38:00)
  • The importance of humility in leadership (00:40:00)
  • The role of leadership in building a positive culture (00:42:00)
  • The importance of building relationships in leadership (00:44:00)
  • The connection between leadership and mental health (00:46:00)
  • Dan's advice for developing leadership skills (00:48:00)
  • The impact of suicide on military personnel (00:49:00)
  • Using self-care to control the controllables (00:50:00)
  • The power of incremental change (00:53:00)
  • Dan's experience fitting in with different crowds (00:54:00)
  • The importance of being oneself in the military (00:56:00)
  • Dan's motivations for writing "Backpack to Rucksack" (01:00:00)
  • The importance of talking about mental health and seeking help when needed (01:02:00)
  • The benefits of controlling the controllables (01:04:00)

Dan shares his motivations for writing "Backpack to Rucksack," including his desire to process his own angst about the weight differential between good and bad leadership and how that can contribute to someone wanting to take their own life. Dan talks about his friend Cody, who survived a suicide attempt and wrote the introduction to Dan's book. Dan also shares the story of Austin, an unlisted marin...

]]> full 297 false Dan Joseph talks about his background, including his experience in the biotech industry and how meeting military service members inspired him to join the Army. He discusses the challenges he faced as an older recruit and the lessons he learned during his time in the military.

Dan also shares insights on leadership and resilience that he gained from his experience in the Army. He also talks about his book, "Backpack to Rucksack," and offers practical advice for anyone looking to develop leadership and resilience skills. In addition, Dan shares how his experience in martial arts has helped him develop mental toughness and respect for hierarchy.

Support the Show

Timestamped Chapter Summary

  • Introduction to Dan Joseph and his background (00:00:00)
  • Dan's inspiration to join the military (00:01:00)
  • Dan's background and his parents' experience as refugees from Iraq (00:03:00)
  • Lessons learned from military service members (00:05:00)
  • The impact of ISIS on Dan's family and community (00:07:00)
  • Challenges faced as an older recruit (00:08:00)
  • Advice for older individuals considering military service (00:11:00)
  • Overview of "Backpack to Rucksack" (00:12:30)
  • Leadership lessons from the military (00:14:00)
  • Resilience and mental toughness in the military (00:16:30)
  • The value of practicing martial arts for military service (00:19:00)
  • Importance of self-awareness (00:21:00)
  • Building trust and effective communication (00:23:00)
  • The role of mentors in leadership development (00:25:30)
  • Lessons learned from military deployments (00:28:00)
  • The importance of teamwork (00:30:00)
  • Dan's transition from military to civilian life (00:32:30)
  • The impact of the lockdown on military personnel (00:34:00)
  • Dan's motivation for studying leadership academically (00:36:00)
  • The benefits of academic study for military leadership (00:38:00)
  • The importance of humility in leadership (00:40:00)
  • The role of leadership in building a positive culture (00:42:00)
  • The importance of building relationships in leadership (00:44:00)
  • The connection between leadership and mental health (00:46:00)
  • Dan's advice for developing leadership skills (00:48:00)
  • The impact of suicide on military personnel (00:49:00)
  • Using self-care to control the controllables (00:50:00)
  • The power of incremental change (00:53:00)
  • Dan's experience fitting in with different crowds (00:54:00)
  • The importance of being oneself in the military (00:56:00)
  • Dan's motivations for writing "Backpack to Rucksack" (01:00:00)
  • The importance of talking about mental health and seeking help when needed (01:02:00)
  • The benefits of controlling the controllables (01:04:00)

Dan shares his motivations for writing "Backpack to Rucksack," including his desire to process his own angst about the weight differential between good and bad leadership and how that can contribute to someone wanting to take their own life. Dan talks about his friend Cody, who survived a suicide attempt and wrote the introduction to Dan's book. Dan also shares the story of Austin, an unlisted marine who is now an officer in the Army and who had 12 members from his unit commit suicide. Dan emphasizes the importance of talking about mental health and seeking help when needed.

Dan also shares how he focused on controlling the controllables during his time as a junior officer in the military, using self-care to optimize his own mental and physical health. He emphasizes the power of incremental change in any aspect of life. Dan talks about his experience fitting in with different crowds, including the challenges he faced trying to fit in with a wealthy, substance-abusing crowd and how he found his tribe with military service members.

Transcript

View the transcript for this episode.

]]> 00:50:35 <![CDATA[From Service to Success: Inspiring Veterans]]> Thu, 06 Jul 2023 08:00:00 +0000 Scott DeLuzio https://permalink.castos.com/podcast/2296/episode/1493483 In this episode, Bob Taylor shares his experiences serving in the Air Force during Operation Desert Storm and how it helped him understand the challenges that veterans face after their military career. He also talks about his struggles with PTSD and how seeking help from the VA was crucial to his recovery. Bob explains that the military training discipline shapes the mindset of veterans, and there is no training to prepare them for the transition into civilian life. He highlights the importance of seeking help, community, and support for a successful transition. Finally, Bob shares insights from his book and upcoming initiatives to help veterans and their families.

Support the Show

Timestamped Chapter Summary

  • Introduction of Bob Taylor and his background (00:00:00)
  • Bob's experiences serving in the Air Force during Operation Desert Storm (00:01:00)
  • The challenges that veterans face after their military career (00:04:00)
  • Bob's struggles with PTSD and seeking help from the VA (00:04:45)
  • The importance of mental health and seeking help (00:08:50)
  • The military training discipline and its impact on veterans' mindset (00:09:00)
  • Tools to reshape the mindset for successful transition (00:11:00)
  • Bob's book "From Service to Success" and his mission to help veterans and their families (00:11:30)
  • The impact of COVID-19 on veterans and their mental health (00:14:30)
  • The importance of community and support for veterans (00:16:00)
  • Examples of initiatives to help veterans transition (00:17:00)
  • Common roadblocks and barriers that veterans face when seeking a new mission and sense of purpose (00:17:30)
  • The importance of determination and drive to figure out a new path (00:19:00)
  • Advice for veterans transitioning into civilian life (00:20:00)
  • The importance of self-forgiveness and healthy living habits for veterans (00:26:00)
  • The Patriot Promise Foundation and its mission to help veterans discover their best life (00:21:30)
  • The impact of military skills on civilian careers (00:33:00)
  • The challenge of translating military service into civilian experience (00:34:00)
  • The importance of HR recognizing military experience as an asset (00:35:00)
  • The importance of communicating leadership, drive, determination, and dedication (00:36:00)
  • Finding something greater than yourself that serves a purpose beyond yourself (00:39:00)
  • The benefit of serving others and creating a sense of purpose (00:41:00)
  • The impact of veterans' suicide rates (00:48:00)
  • How Bob Taylor's book can help veterans and their families (00:49:00)
  • How to find out more about Bob Taylor's book and the Patriot Promise Foundation (00:44:00)

Links & Resources

]]> full 296 false In this episode, Bob Taylor shares his experiences serving in the Air Force during Operation Desert Storm and how it helped him understand the challenges that veterans face after their military career. He also talks about his struggles with PTSD and how seeking help from the VA was crucial to his recovery. Bob explains that the military training discipline shapes the mindset of veterans, and there is no training to prepare them for the transition into civilian life. He highlights the importance of seeking help, community, and support for a successful transition. Finally, Bob shares insights from his book and upcoming initiatives to help veterans and their families.

Support the Show

Timestamped Chapter Summary

  • Introduction of Bob Taylor and his background (00:00:00)
  • Bob's experiences serving in the Air Force during Operation Desert Storm (00:01:00)
  • The challenges that veterans face after their military career (00:04:00)
  • Bob's struggles with PTSD and seeking help from the VA (00:04:45)
  • The importance of mental health and seeking help (00:08:50)
  • The military training discipline and its impact on veterans' mindset (00:09:00)
  • Tools to reshape the mindset for successful transition (00:11:00)
  • Bob's book "From Service to Success" and his mission to help veterans and their families (00:11:30)
  • The impact of COVID-19 on veterans and their mental health (00:14:30)
  • The importance of community and support for veterans (00:16:00)
  • Examples of initiatives to help veterans transition (00:17:00)
  • Common roadblocks and barriers that veterans face when seeking a new mission and sense of purpose (00:17:30)
  • The importance of determination and drive to figure out a new path (00:19:00)
  • Advice for veterans transitioning into civilian life (00:20:00)
  • The importance of self-forgiveness and healthy living habits for veterans (00:26:00)
  • The Patriot Promise Foundation and its mission to help veterans discover their best life (00:21:30)
  • The impact of military skills on civilian careers (00:33:00)
  • The challenge of translating military service into civilian experience (00:34:00)
  • The importance of HR recognizing military experience as an asset (00:35:00)
  • The importance of communicating leadership, drive, determination, and dedication (00:36:00)
  • Finding something greater than yourself that serves a purpose beyond yourself (00:39:00)
  • The benefit of serving others and creating a sense of purpose (00:41:00)
  • The impact of veterans' suicide rates (00:48:00)
  • How Bob Taylor's book can help veterans and their families (00:49:00)
  • How to find out more about Bob Taylor's book and the Patriot Promise Foundation (00:44:00)

Links & Resources

Transcript

View the transcript for this episode.

]]> 00:52:30 <![CDATA[From Combat to Comeback: Overcoming Adversity]]> Tue, 04 Jul 2023 08:00:00 +0000 Scott DeLuzio https://permalink.castos.com/podcast/2296/episode/1493318 In this episode, Scott DeLuzio interviews Sylvester Jenkins III, author of "From Combat to Comeback: How to Conquer the Battles of Adversity and Avoid Letting Circumstances in Your Life Define You." Sylvester shares his journey from being a fatherless at-risk youth in Columbus, Georgia, to serving in the military and facing hardships during his deployments to Iraq and Afghanistan. He also talks about his struggles with PTSD, anxiety, and depression after transitioning to civilian life and how he used quarantine as an opportunity to invest in himself. Sylvester offers practical advice on how to overcome self-doubt, build a support system, take responsibility for your life, and master yourself by developing self-awareness and emotional intelligence.

Support the Show

Timestamped Chapter Summary

  • Introduction: Scott DeLuzio introduces Sylvester Jenkins III and his book, "From Combat to Comeback." (0:00)
  • Sylvester's Background: Sylvester talks about his upbringing as a fatherless at-risk youth in Columbus, Georgia, and his struggles to find acceptance, security, identity, and purpose. (0:45)
  • Joining the Military: Sylvester discusses how he joined the military as a way to find a way out of his dangerous path and how he faced hardships during his deployments to Iraq and Afghanistan. (2:10)
  • Mental Health Challenges: Sylvester shares his experiences with PTSD, anxiety, and depression after transitioning to civilian life and how he used quarantine as an opportunity to invest in himself. (3:40)
  • From Comeback to Comeback: Sylvester explains how he turned his pain into his purpose and how his book can help others conquer the battles of adversity. (6:00)
  • Overcoming Self-Doubt: Sylvester offers advice on how to overcome self-doubt and negative self-talk and how to find your purpose in life. (7:45)
  • Building a Support System: Sylvester talks about the importance of building a support system and how to find people who can help you on your journey. (11:00)
  • Taking Responsibility for Your Life: Sylvester discusses how taking responsibility for your life can help you overcome adversity and achieve your goals. (13:20)
  • Circumstances Don't Define You: Sylvester shares how he realized that his circumstances did not define his worth or potential for success and how he took responsibility for his own actions and mindset. (16:00)
  • Strategies to Fight the Enemy Inside: Sylvester shares effective strategies that have helped him on his journey to fight the enemy inside of him, including positive self-talk, building a support system, and practicing self-care. (18:30)
  • The Importance of Self-Awareness: Sylvester and Scott discuss the importance of self-awareness and emotional intelligence in overcoming adversity and mastering oneself. (23:00)
  • Controlling the Temperature: Sylvester explains how he learned to control his emotions and remain the thermostat, not the thermometer and offers practical advice on how to master yourself and control the temperature of your emotions. (26:00)
  • Strategies to Overcome Setbacks: Sylvester gives practical advice on how to overcome setbacks and come back from difficult situations, including setting realistic goals, developing a growth mindset, and reframing setbacks as learning experiences. (29:00)
  • Quotable Takeaways: Scott and Sylvester share some of the most memorable and inspiring quotes from the interview. (33:...
]]> full 295 false In this episode, Scott DeLuzio interviews Sylvester Jenkins III, author of "From Combat to Comeback: How to Conquer the Battles of Adversity and Avoid Letting Circumstances in Your Life Define You." Sylvester shares his journey from being a fatherless at-risk youth in Columbus, Georgia, to serving in the military and facing hardships during his deployments to Iraq and Afghanistan. He also talks about his struggles with PTSD, anxiety, and depression after transitioning to civilian life and how he used quarantine as an opportunity to invest in himself. Sylvester offers practical advice on how to overcome self-doubt, build a support system, take responsibility for your life, and master yourself by developing self-awareness and emotional intelligence.

Support the Show

Timestamped Chapter Summary

  • Introduction: Scott DeLuzio introduces Sylvester Jenkins III and his book, "From Combat to Comeback." (0:00)
  • Sylvester's Background: Sylvester talks about his upbringing as a fatherless at-risk youth in Columbus, Georgia, and his struggles to find acceptance, security, identity, and purpose. (0:45)
  • Joining the Military: Sylvester discusses how he joined the military as a way to find a way out of his dangerous path and how he faced hardships during his deployments to Iraq and Afghanistan. (2:10)
  • Mental Health Challenges: Sylvester shares his experiences with PTSD, anxiety, and depression after transitioning to civilian life and how he used quarantine as an opportunity to invest in himself. (3:40)
  • From Comeback to Comeback: Sylvester explains how he turned his pain into his purpose and how his book can help others conquer the battles of adversity. (6:00)
  • Overcoming Self-Doubt: Sylvester offers advice on how to overcome self-doubt and negative self-talk and how to find your purpose in life. (7:45)
  • Building a Support System: Sylvester talks about the importance of building a support system and how to find people who can help you on your journey. (11:00)
  • Taking Responsibility for Your Life: Sylvester discusses how taking responsibility for your life can help you overcome adversity and achieve your goals. (13:20)
  • Circumstances Don't Define You: Sylvester shares how he realized that his circumstances did not define his worth or potential for success and how he took responsibility for his own actions and mindset. (16:00)
  • Strategies to Fight the Enemy Inside: Sylvester shares effective strategies that have helped him on his journey to fight the enemy inside of him, including positive self-talk, building a support system, and practicing self-care. (18:30)
  • The Importance of Self-Awareness: Sylvester and Scott discuss the importance of self-awareness and emotional intelligence in overcoming adversity and mastering oneself. (23:00)
  • Controlling the Temperature: Sylvester explains how he learned to control his emotions and remain the thermostat, not the thermometer and offers practical advice on how to master yourself and control the temperature of your emotions. (26:00)
  • Strategies to Overcome Setbacks: Sylvester gives practical advice on how to overcome setbacks and come back from difficult situations, including setting realistic goals, developing a growth mindset, and reframing setbacks as learning experiences. (29:00)
  • Quotable Takeaways: Scott and Sylvester share some of the most memorable and inspiring quotes from the interview. (33:00)
  • Conclusion: Scott DeLuzio summarizes the key takeaways from the interview and encourages listeners to check out Sylvester's book. (34:00)

Links & Resources

Transcript

View the transcript for this episode.

]]> 00:51:59 <![CDATA[Triple Nikel: Empowering Veteran Style]]> Thu, 29 Jun 2023 08:00:00 +0000 Scott DeLuzio https://permalink.castos.com/podcast/2296/episode/1488572 In this episode, we sit down with Ruben Ayala, a remarkable veteran who has dedicated his life to empowering and uplifting his fellow veterans. Ruben shares his personal journey, from serving in the military to overcoming challenges and finding his purpose in helping others. With deep insights into the struggles veterans face, he offers valuable perspectives on mental health, transition, and resilience. Join us as we delve into Ruben's inspiring story, filled with courage, compassion, and a commitment to making a difference in the lives of veterans. Tune in to gain valuable insights and be inspired to drive on.

Links & Resources

Transcript

View the transcript for this episode.

]]> full 294 false In this episode, we sit down with Ruben Ayala, a remarkable veteran who has dedicated his life to empowering and uplifting his fellow veterans. Ruben shares his personal journey, from serving in the military to overcoming challenges and finding his purpose in helping others. With deep insights into the struggles veterans face, he offers valuable perspectives on mental health, transition, and resilience. Join us as we delve into Ruben's inspiring story, filled with courage, compassion, and a commitment to making a difference in the lives of veterans. Tune in to gain valuable insights and be inspired to drive on.

Links & Resources

Transcript

View the transcript for this episode.

]]> 00:45:35 <![CDATA[From the Battlefield to Hollywood]]> Tue, 27 Jun 2023 08:00:00 +0000 Scott DeLuzio https://permalink.castos.com/podcast/2296/episode/1481404 Mike Dowling is a veteran and former Marine Corps dog handler who is now involved in the entertainment industry. He explains how he followed his passion into the industry and how his background in the military has been beneficial in the entertainment world. He speaks about how he was inspired by helping a wounded Marine to go to film school and how he networked with other veterans to create a support system in Los Angeles. He talks about how the entertainment industry was open to veterans with real military experience and how he was able to combine his military background with his work in entertainment.

Links & Resources

Transcript

View the transcript for this episode.

]]> full 293 false Mike Dowling is a veteran and former Marine Corps dog handler who is now involved in the entertainment industry. He explains how he followed his passion into the industry and how his background in the military has been beneficial in the entertainment world. He speaks about how he was inspired by helping a wounded Marine to go to film school and how he networked with other veterans to create a support system in Los Angeles. He talks about how the entertainment industry was open to veterans with real military experience and how he was able to combine his military background with his work in entertainment.

Links & Resources

Transcript

View the transcript for this episode.

]]> 00:48:33 <![CDATA[Retired Marine Officer Shares How She Harnesses Sexy Confidence To Overcome Adversity]]> Thu, 22 Jun 2023 08:00:00 +0000 Scott DeLuzio https://permalink.castos.com/podcast/2296/episode/1481389 Sandra Gonzalez is a retired Marine officer and a high-performance coach and speaker who helps her clients take control of their self-doubt and perfectionism.

She encourages her clients to pay attention to the subtle hints life is dropping and to listen to what is calling them, not what is clawing at them.

Sandra discusses what she refers to as "Sexy Confidence" Sexy confidence is the ability to remain calm and master oneself during stressful challenges and situations. It's a high-performance attitude that enables one to believe in themselves and take command of any room they step in.

Links & Resources

Transcript

View the transcript for this episode.

]]> full 292 false Sandra Gonzalez is a retired Marine officer and a high-performance coach and speaker who helps her clients take control of their self-doubt and perfectionism.

She encourages her clients to pay attention to the subtle hints life is dropping and to listen to what is calling them, not what is clawing at them.

Sandra discusses what she refers to as "Sexy Confidence" Sexy confidence is the ability to remain calm and master oneself during stressful challenges and situations. It's a high-performance attitude that enables one to believe in themselves and take command of any room they step in.

Links & Resources

Transcript

View the transcript for this episode.

]]> 00:45:47 <![CDATA[Navy Veteran Shares Story Of Unfortunate Surgical Outcome]]> Tue, 20 Jun 2023 08:00:00 +0000 Scott DeLuzio https://permalink.castos.com/podcast/2296/episode/1481379 Shannon Sackett is a Navy veteran who suffered an unfortunate surgical outcome, which caused her to be medically discharged. We discuss how this affected her life during and after the military and her ability to bounce back from this setback.

Links & Resources

Transcript

View the transcript for this episode.

]]> full 291 false Shannon Sackett is a Navy veteran who suffered an unfortunate surgical outcome, which caused her to be medically discharged. We discuss how this affected her life during and after the military and her ability to bounce back from this setback.

Links & Resources

Transcript

View the transcript for this episode.

]]> 00:47:22 <![CDATA[From Military to Marketable: B.R.A.N.D. Before Your Resume]]> Thu, 15 Jun 2023 08:00:00 +0000 Scott DeLuzio https://permalink.castos.com/podcast/2296/episode/1488542 Graciela Tiscareño-Sato is an Air Force veteran, award-winning author, and public speaker. Graciela has dedicated herself to coaching over 5000 veterans, service members, and professionals in developing their personal brands while transitioning from the military to the civilian world.

Tune in to learn how personal branding can make a difference in finding the job of your dreams and hear stories of veterans who have successfully transformed their resumes into powerful narratives of their value.

Links & Resources

Transcript

View the transcript for this episode.

]]> full 290 false Graciela Tiscareño-Sato is an Air Force veteran, award-winning author, and public speaker. Graciela has dedicated herself to coaching over 5000 veterans, service members, and professionals in developing their personal brands while transitioning from the military to the civilian world.

Tune in to learn how personal branding can make a difference in finding the job of your dreams and hear stories of veterans who have successfully transformed their resumes into powerful narratives of their value.

Links & Resources

Transcript

View the transcript for this episode.

]]> 00:49:11 <![CDATA[Expats' Mental Health Journey]]> Tue, 13 Jun 2023 08:00:00 +0000 Scott DeLuzio https://permalink.castos.com/podcast/2296/episode/1488509 Shannon Miller, an Army wife and mental health expert with a passion for addressing moral injuries misdiagnosed as PTSD, joins us in this episode.

With a wealth of experience in supporting military families, Shannon shares her expertise on the unique challenges they face. From discussing the distinction between PTSD and moral injury to exploring the impact of trauma on military families, she offers invaluable guidance.

Shannon also sheds light on the role of therapy in providing support, coping strategies for stressful situations, and the importance of community in the lives of veterans and their families. Drawing from her own experiences as an American expat living in multiple countries, she delves into the impact of living abroad on mental health and provides practical advice for navigating cultural differences.

Join us as we dive into the complexities of military life and learn how to maximize the unique experiences of military families and expats alike.

Links & Resources

Transcript

View the transcript for this episode.

]]> full 289 false Shannon Miller, an Army wife and mental health expert with a passion for addressing moral injuries misdiagnosed as PTSD, joins us in this episode.

With a wealth of experience in supporting military families, Shannon shares her expertise on the unique challenges they face. From discussing the distinction between PTSD and moral injury to exploring the impact of trauma on military families, she offers invaluable guidance.

Shannon also sheds light on the role of therapy in providing support, coping strategies for stressful situations, and the importance of community in the lives of veterans and their families. Drawing from her own experiences as an American expat living in multiple countries, she delves into the impact of living abroad on mental health and provides practical advice for navigating cultural differences.

Join us as we dive into the complexities of military life and learn how to maximize the unique experiences of military families and expats alike.

Links & Resources

Transcript

View the transcript for this episode.

]]> 00:45:08 <![CDATA[From Navy to Tech Innovator]]> Thu, 08 Jun 2023 08:00:00 +0000 Scott DeLuzio https://permalink.castos.com/podcast/2296/episode/1488471 In this episode, Terence Bennett, a Navy veteran, talks about his journey into the tech world. Join us as we delve into Terrence's transition from military service to running a successful software company. Gain insights into his experiences as a Naval Intelligence Officer and as a member of Google. Discover how Terence's company, DreamFactory Software, is now solving complex integration problems with its API code automation platform. Listen in as Terence shares valuable advice for veterans considering a career in tech and how he continues to support the military community through his work. Tune in for an engaging conversation packed with inspiring stories and practical takeaways.

Links & Resources

Transcript

View the transcript for this episode.

]]> full 288 false In this episode, Terence Bennett, a Navy veteran, talks about his journey into the tech world. Join us as we delve into Terrence's transition from military service to running a successful software company. Gain insights into his experiences as a Naval Intelligence Officer and as a member of Google. Discover how Terence's company, DreamFactory Software, is now solving complex integration problems with its API code automation platform. Listen in as Terence shares valuable advice for veterans considering a career in tech and how he continues to support the military community through his work. Tune in for an engaging conversation packed with inspiring stories and practical takeaways.

Links & Resources

Transcript

View the transcript for this episode.

]]> 00:47:47 <![CDATA[Navigating the VA Healthcare System: Tips and Resources]]> Tue, 06 Jun 2023 08:00:00 +0000 Scott DeLuzio https://permalink.castos.com/podcast/2296/episode/1476283 This episode of Drive On discusses navigating VA healthcare as a veteran. The VA healthcare system is the largest integrated healthcare system in the US, with over 9 million veterans enrolled. For many veterans, navigating the VA healthcare system can be challenging and overwhelming.

In this episode, we cover:

  • Understanding the VA Healthcare System, the different types of healthcare services available to veterans, and tips for choosing a primary care provider and scheduling appointments.
  • Resources available to help veterans navigate the VA healthcare system and information on how to apply for VA healthcare benefits.
  • Exploring MyHealtheVet.
  • Mental health resources.

Links & Resources

Transcript

View the transcript for this episode.

]]> full 287 false This episode of Drive On discusses navigating VA healthcare as a veteran. The VA healthcare system is the largest integrated healthcare system in the US, with over 9 million veterans enrolled. For many veterans, navigating the VA healthcare system can be challenging and overwhelming.

In this episode, we cover:

  • Understanding the VA Healthcare System, the different types of healthcare services available to veterans, and tips for choosing a primary care provider and scheduling appointments.
  • Resources available to help veterans navigate the VA healthcare system and information on how to apply for VA healthcare benefits.
  • Exploring MyHealtheVet.
  • Mental health resources.

Links & Resources

Transcript

View the transcript for this episode.

]]> 00:48:49 <![CDATA[Caring for Military Children]]> Thu, 01 Jun 2023 08:00:00 +0000 Scott DeLuzio https://permalink.castos.com/podcast/2296/episode/1487964 In this episode, our guest Nicole Thompson, an Air Force veteran and trauma-informed educator, sheds light on the unique struggles military children face. From frequent moves and parental deployments to navigating trauma and healthcare systems, Nicole shares valuable insights and practical strategies to support the well-being and academic success of these resilient young individuals. Join us as we delve into the world of military children and discover ways to empower them for a brighter future.

Links & Resources

Transcript

View the transcript for this episode.

]]> full 286 false In this episode, our guest Nicole Thompson, an Air Force veteran and trauma-informed educator, sheds light on the unique struggles military children face. From frequent moves and parental deployments to navigating trauma and healthcare systems, Nicole shares valuable insights and practical strategies to support the well-being and academic success of these resilient young individuals. Join us as we delve into the world of military children and discover ways to empower them for a brighter future.

Links & Resources

Transcript

View the transcript for this episode.

]]> 00:32:48 <![CDATA[Announcing A New Format]]> Tue, 30 May 2023 08:00:00 +0000 Scott DeLuzio https://permalink.castos.com/podcast/2296/episode/1476108 Starting next week, the podcast will be available in its audio format and airing on WTSMTV in the Phoenix area and streaming online at WTSMTV.com. This is a great way to expand the podcast's reach and take the conversations to a larger audience. The new format will provide veterans with more accessibility to the show and more opportunities for engagement. This will help the show positively impact veterans on a larger scale and serve the veteran community in the best way possible.

WTSMTV.com is an online television platform local to the Phoenix area but offers content that appeals to people nationwide. It is an accessible platform, allowing viewers to watch whatever they want, whenever they want. It provides a variety of content, including health, business, sports, and general interest shows.

Links & Resources

Transcript

View the transcript for this episode.

]]> full 285 false Starting next week, the podcast will be available in its audio format and airing on WTSMTV in the Phoenix area and streaming online at WTSMTV.com. This is a great way to expand the podcast's reach and take the conversations to a larger audience. The new format will provide veterans with more accessibility to the show and more opportunities for engagement. This will help the show positively impact veterans on a larger scale and serve the veteran community in the best way possible.

WTSMTV.com is an online television platform local to the Phoenix area but offers content that appeals to people nationwide. It is an accessible platform, allowing viewers to watch whatever they want, whenever they want. It provides a variety of content, including health, business, sports, and general interest shows.

Links & Resources

Transcript

View the transcript for this episode.

]]> 00:16:45 <![CDATA[Special Memorial Day Episode]]> Mon, 29 May 2023 08:00:00 +0000 Scott DeLuzio https://permalink.castos.com/podcast/2296/episode/1486590 In this special Memorial Day episode, we delve into the rich history and significance of this solemn holiday. Join us as we explore the origins of Memorial Day, tracing its roots back to the aftermath of the American Civil War and the establishment of Decoration Day. Learn about the evolution of this commemorative day into a nationally recognized observance and a federal holiday.

We also take a closer look at the distinctions between Memorial Day and Veteran's Day, understanding the unique purposes and meanings behind each occasion. Discover the profound significance of honoring the fallen heroes who made the ultimate sacrifice in service to our country.

We explore the concept of Gold Star Families, delving into the experiences and challenges faced by those who have lost loved ones in the line of duty. We gain a deeper understanding of the resilience and strength exhibited by these families, as well as the importance of acknowledging and supporting them.

Additionally, we cover how Memorial Day is celebrated across the nation, examining the various traditions, memorials, and ceremonies that pay tribute to our fallen heroes. From parades and flag ceremonies to moments of silence and remembrance, we highlight the ways in which communities come together to honor those who have served.

As part of our tribute to Memorial Day, we have the privilege of interviewing Debbie Lee, Gold Star Mother and founder of America's Mighty Warriors, Tammy Pulaski, Gold Star Mother and head of the Arizona Department of the American Gold Star Mothers organization, Thad Forrester, Gold Star Brother, and Tony Price, head of the Gold Star Ride Foundation. These remarkable individuals share their personal stories and insights, shedding light on the invaluable support provided to military and Gold Star Families.

Join us as we honor and remember the brave men and women who have given their lives in service to our country on this poignant and heartfelt Memorial Day special.

Links & Resources

Transcript

View the transcript for this episode.Transition music credit: Creative Logo by Alex-Productions | https://onsound.eu/ Music promoted by https://www.free-stock-music.com Creative Commons / Attribution 3.0 Unported License (CC BY 3.0) https://creativecommons.org/licenses/by/3.0/deed.en_US

]]> full 284 false In this special Memorial Day episode, we delve into the rich history and significance of this solemn holiday. Join us as we explore the origins of Memorial Day, tracing its roots back to the aftermath of the American Civil War and the establishment of Decoration Day. Learn about the evolution of this commemorative day into a nationally recognized observance and a federal holiday.

We also take a closer look at the distinctions between Memorial Day and Veteran's Day, understanding the unique purposes and meanings behind each occasion. Discover the profound significance of honoring the fallen heroes who made the ultimate sacrifice in service to our country.

We explore the concept of Gold Star Families, delving into the experiences and challenges faced by those who have lost loved ones in the line of duty. We gain a deeper understanding of the resilience and strength exhibited by these families, as well as the importance of acknowledging and supporting them.

Additionally, we cover how Memorial Day is celebrated across the nation, examining the various traditions, memorials, and ceremonies that pay tribute to our fallen heroes. From parades and flag ceremonies to moments of silence and remembrance, we highlight the ways in which communities come together to honor those who have served.

As part of our tribute to Memorial Day, we have the privilege of interviewing Debbie Lee, Gold Star Mother and founder of America's Mighty Warriors, Tammy Pulaski, Gold Star Mother and head of the Arizona Department of the American Gold Star Mothers organization, Thad Forrester, Gold Star Brother, and Tony Price, head of the Gold Star Ride Foundation. These remarkable individuals share their personal stories and insights, shedding light on the invaluable support provided to military and Gold Star Families.

Join us as we honor and remember the brave men and women who have given their lives in service to our country on this poignant and heartfelt Memorial Day special.

Links & Resources

Transcript

View the transcript for this episode.Transition music credit: Creative Logo by Alex-Productions | https://onsound.eu/ Music promoted by https://www.free-stock-music.com Creative Commons / Attribution 3.0 Unported License (CC BY 3.0) https://creativecommons.org/licenses/by/3.0/deed.en_US

]]> 01:19:50 <![CDATA[Finding Purpose and Meaning in Post-Military Life]]> Thu, 25 May 2023 08:00:00 +0000 Scott DeLuzio https://permalink.castos.com/podcast/2296/episode/1462974 Providing advice and strategies for finding purpose and meaning in life after military service.

  1. Challenges of transitioning to civilian life
    • Discuss common challenges that veterans face when transitioning to civilian life
  2. Identifying personal values and passions
    • Why identifying personal values and passions is important for veterans
    • Guidance on how to discover and connect with personal values and passions
  3. Exploring career opportunities
    • Strategies for exploring career opportunities that align with personal values and passions
  4. Building a support network
    • The importance of building a support network for veterans
    • Tips on how to create and maintain a support network
  5. Community involvement and volunteer work
    • Benefits of community involvement and volunteer work for veterans
  6. Seeking professional help if needed
    • Importance of seeking professional help if struggling with finding purpose and meaning in post-military life

Links & Resources

Transcript

View the transcript for this episode.

]]> full 283 false Providing advice and strategies for finding purpose and meaning in life after military service.

  1. Challenges of transitioning to civilian life
    • Discuss common challenges that veterans face when transitioning to civilian life
  2. Identifying personal values and passions
    • Why identifying personal values and passions is important for veterans
    • Guidance on how to discover and connect with personal values and passions
  3. Exploring career opportunities
    • Strategies for exploring career opportunities that align with personal values and passions
  4. Building a support network
    • The importance of building a support network for veterans
    • Tips on how to create and maintain a support network
  5. Community involvement and volunteer work
    • Benefits of community involvement and volunteer work for veterans
  6. Seeking professional help if needed
    • Importance of seeking professional help if struggling with finding purpose and meaning in post-military life

Links & Resources

Transcript

View the transcript for this episode.

]]> 00:50:40 <![CDATA[Helping Others Find Joy & Bounce Back From Setbacks]]> Tue, 23 May 2023 08:00:00 +0000 Scott DeLuzio https://permalink.castos.com/podcast/2296/episode/1447662 Thandi Myeni started out working at M&M Mars candy company, but after 9/11, she decided she wanted to pursue a life of meaning and purpose. She decided to go to medical school and graduated despite the challenges. She originally planned on becoming an OBGYN, but life took her in a different direction. This story of transformation serves to demonstrate that our past does not determine our future and that anything is possible if we are willing to be flexible and open to change.

Dr. Thandi Myeni currently serves as a Major in the US Army Reserves.

Links & Resources

Transcript

View the transcript for this episode.

]]> full 282 false Thandi Myeni started out working at M&M Mars candy company, but after 9/11, she decided she wanted to pursue a life of meaning and purpose. She decided to go to medical school and graduated despite the challenges. She originally planned on becoming an OBGYN, but life took her in a different direction. This story of transformation serves to demonstrate that our past does not determine our future and that anything is possible if we are willing to be flexible and open to change.

Dr. Thandi Myeni currently serves as a Major in the US Army Reserves.

Links & Resources

Transcript

View the transcript for this episode.

]]> 00:52:08 <![CDATA[The Role of Exercise in Managing Mental Health for Veterans]]> Thu, 18 May 2023 08:00:00 +0000 Scott DeLuzio https://permalink.castos.com/podcast/2296/episode/1459796 Examining the potential benefits of exercise for managing mental health and providing advice for incorporating physical activity into daily life.

  • Introduction
    • Statistics on the prevalence of mental health issues among veterans and the potential benefits of exercise for managing these issues
  • Benefits of exercise for managing mental health
    • How exercise can help alleviate symptoms of these conditions, including reducing stress, improving mood, boosting self-esteem, and enhancing cognitive function
  • Tips for incorporating exercise into daily life
    • Practical advice for veterans who want to start incorporating exercise into their daily routine
    • Different types of exercise that may be suitable for different individuals and fitness levels, such as walking, cycling, strength training, and yoga
  • Resources and support for veterans
    • Resources and programs that are available to veterans who want to prioritize their physical and mental health, such as VA healthcare, and community-based organizations
    • Importance of seeking professional help for mental health issues and offering some guidance on how to find a mental health provider who is knowledgeable about the unique needs of veterans
  • Conclusion
    • Encourage listeners to take action and start incorporating exercise into their daily routine, even if it's just a small step.

Links & Resources

Transcript

View the transcript for this episode.

]]> full 281 false Examining the potential benefits of exercise for managing mental health and providing advice for incorporating physical activity into daily life.

  • Introduction
    • Statistics on the prevalence of mental health issues among veterans and the potential benefits of exercise for managing these issues
  • Benefits of exercise for managing mental health
    • How exercise can help alleviate symptoms of these conditions, including reducing stress, improving mood, boosting self-esteem, and enhancing cognitive function
  • Tips for incorporating exercise into daily life
    • Practical advice for veterans who want to start incorporating exercise into their daily routine
    • Different types of exercise that may be suitable for different individuals and fitness levels, such as walking, cycling, strength training, and yoga
  • Resources and support for veterans
    • Resources and programs that are available to veterans who want to prioritize their physical and mental health, such as VA healthcare, and community-based organizations
    • Importance of seeking professional help for mental health issues and offering some guidance on how to find a mental health provider who is knowledgeable about the unique needs of veterans
  • Conclusion
    • Encourage listeners to take action and start incorporating exercise into their daily routine, even if it's just a small step.

Links & Resources

Transcript

View the transcript for this episode.

]]> 00:31:10 <![CDATA[Living Life Beyond the Rut]]> Tue, 16 May 2023 08:00:00 +0000 Scott DeLuzio https://permalink.castos.com/podcast/2296/episode/1443784 Jerry Dugan is a leadership consultant, training facilitator, and public speaker who hosts the podcast Beyond the Rut with Jerry Dugan. He helps build servant leaders by finding clarity and alignment in their work and personal lives.

His leadership experience includes roles with the U.S. Army, Christian ministry, and corporate healthcare, where his whole-person approach has built thriving teams who found joy in their work as part of their lives. His personal belief is that life is too short to live stuck in a rut drives his hope to help you create success that doesn't cost you your faith or your family.

Links & Resources

Transcript

View the transcript for this episode.

]]> full 280 false Jerry Dugan is a leadership consultant, training facilitator, and public speaker who hosts the podcast Beyond the Rut with Jerry Dugan. He helps build servant leaders by finding clarity and alignment in their work and personal lives.

His leadership experience includes roles with the U.S. Army, Christian ministry, and corporate healthcare, where his whole-person approach has built thriving teams who found joy in their work as part of their lives. His personal belief is that life is too short to live stuck in a rut drives his hope to help you create success that doesn't cost you your faith or your family.

Links & Resources

Transcript

View the transcript for this episode.

]]> 00:55:00 <![CDATA[Understanding Moral Injury and its Impact on Veterans]]> Thu, 11 May 2023 08:00:00 +0000 Scott DeLuzio https://permalink.castos.com/podcast/2296/episode/1457472 Exploring the concept of moral injury, its impact on veterans, and potential treatment options.

  1. Introduction
    • Introduce the concept of moral injury and its impact on veterans
    • The importance of exploring moral injury
  2. What is Moral Injury?
    • Define moral injury and differentiate it from PTSD
    • How moral injury can occur in military service
  3. Impact of Moral Injury on Veterans
    • The emotional, psychological, and spiritual impact of moral injury on veterans
    • Challenges veterans face in dealing with moral injury
    • Statistics and research findings on the prevalence of moral injury among veterans
  4. Treatment Options for Moral Injury
    • Potential treatment options for veterans dealing with moral injuries, such as therapy and support groups
    • The importance of addressing moral injury as a separate issue from PTSD
  5. Conclusion
    • Recap the key takeaways from the episode

Links & Resources

Transcript

View the transcript for this episode.

]]> full 279 false Exploring the concept of moral injury, its impact on veterans, and potential treatment options.

  1. Introduction
    • Introduce the concept of moral injury and its impact on veterans
    • The importance of exploring moral injury
  2. What is Moral Injury?
    • Define moral injury and differentiate it from PTSD
    • How moral injury can occur in military service
  3. Impact of Moral Injury on Veterans
    • The emotional, psychological, and spiritual impact of moral injury on veterans
    • Challenges veterans face in dealing with moral injury
    • Statistics and research findings on the prevalence of moral injury among veterans
  4. Treatment Options for Moral Injury
    • Potential treatment options for veterans dealing with moral injuries, such as therapy and support groups
    • The importance of addressing moral injury as a separate issue from PTSD
  5. Conclusion
    • Recap the key takeaways from the episode

Links & Resources

Transcript

View the transcript for this episode.

]]> 00:34:19 <![CDATA[Former Zookeeper Helps Veterans With Service Dogs Through Warriors Heart Canine Program]]> Tue, 09 May 2023 08:00:00 +0000 Scott DeLuzio https://permalink.castos.com/podcast/2296/episode/1442203 Michelle Axmaker is a former zookeeper and currently works with Warriors Heart to train service dogs for veterans and first responders. She gained experience training and caring for exotic animals at Bush Gardens in Tampa, Florida, and then at the Lackland Air Force Base at their military working dog center.

Michelle discusses the importance of service dogs for people with PTSD and the unique training necessary for each individual's needs. Each person's PTSD symptoms differ, and the dogs are trained to recognize the individual's specific triggers and respond accordingly. It is important for the individual who is going to be handling the dog involved in the training process, as the dog must be familiar with the triggers of that particular individual.

The Warriors Heart K9 program provides the opportunity to purchase a Service or ESA K9 through the Academy program. Each Warriors Heart dog is trained to become an Emotional Support Animal or a Service Animal so that the client can travel with, house, and utilize the dog within ADA compliance.

For clients not interested in becoming a Handler, the K9 Experience program is a more therapeutic approach. You can learn about obedience training, participate in weekly Classroom presentations, go on Nature Hikes, and simply enjoy spending time with the canine Warriors.

Links & Resources

Transcript

View the transcript for this episode.

]]> full 278 false Michelle Axmaker is a former zookeeper and currently works with Warriors Heart to train service dogs for veterans and first responders. She gained experience training and caring for exotic animals at Bush Gardens in Tampa, Florida, and then at the Lackland Air Force Base at their military working dog center.

Michelle discusses the importance of service dogs for people with PTSD and the unique training necessary for each individual's needs. Each person's PTSD symptoms differ, and the dogs are trained to recognize the individual's specific triggers and respond accordingly. It is important for the individual who is going to be handling the dog involved in the training process, as the dog must be familiar with the triggers of that particular individual.

The Warriors Heart K9 program provides the opportunity to purchase a Service or ESA K9 through the Academy program. Each Warriors Heart dog is trained to become an Emotional Support Animal or a Service Animal so that the client can travel with, house, and utilize the dog within ADA compliance.

For clients not interested in becoming a Handler, the K9 Experience program is a more therapeutic approach. You can learn about obedience training, participate in weekly Classroom presentations, go on Nature Hikes, and simply enjoy spending time with the canine Warriors.

Links & Resources

Transcript

View the transcript for this episode.

]]> 00:40:33 <![CDATA[Dealing with Guilt and Shame: Coping Strategies for Veterans]]> Thu, 04 May 2023 08:00:00 +0000 Scott DeLuzio https://permalink.castos.com/podcast/2296/episode/1459808 Providing advice and strategies for managing feelings of guilt and shame related to military service or civilian life.

  1. Introduction
    • Why do veterans experience guilt and shame?
    • How can guilt and shame affect a veteran's mental health?
  2. Common Sources of Guilt and Shame in Veterans
    • Combat-related experiences
    • Moral injury
    • Survivor's guilt
    • Trauma outside of combat
  3. Addressing Shame's Link to Suicidal Ideation
    • VA Studies
  4. Coping Strategies for Managing Guilt and Shame
    • Acceptance and self-compassion
    • Mindfulness practices
    • Seeking professional help
  5. Conclusion
    • Guilt and shame are common - you're not alone.
    • Wherever guilt and shame come from, there is help.

Links & Resources

Transcript

View the transcript for this episode.

]]> full 277 false Providing advice and strategies for managing feelings of guilt and shame related to military service or civilian life.

  1. Introduction
    • Why do veterans experience guilt and shame?
    • How can guilt and shame affect a veteran's mental health?
  2. Common Sources of Guilt and Shame in Veterans
    • Combat-related experiences
    • Moral injury
    • Survivor's guilt
    • Trauma outside of combat
  3. Addressing Shame's Link to Suicidal Ideation
    • VA Studies
  4. Coping Strategies for Managing Guilt and Shame
    • Acceptance and self-compassion
    • Mindfulness practices
    • Seeking professional help
  5. Conclusion
    • Guilt and shame are common - you're not alone.
    • Wherever guilt and shame come from, there is help.

Links & Resources

Transcript

View the transcript for this episode.

]]> 00:26:47 <![CDATA[Canadian Vet Talks Fitness And Helping Veterans Become Harder To Kill]]> Tue, 02 May 2023 08:00:00 +0000 Scott DeLuzio https://permalink.castos.com/podcast/2296/episode/1452195 Dave Morrow, a Canadian veteran shares his own experience as a reservist and how he struggled to get back to normal after hurting his back and knee. He found that taking pain pills was only a temporary solution and that he had to make a lifestyle change to get harder to kill.

This led to his mission of helping other veterans lose weight and get more fit.

Links & Resources

Transcript

View the transcript for this episode.

]]> full 276 false Dave Morrow, a Canadian veteran shares his own experience as a reservist and how he struggled to get back to normal after hurting his back and knee. He found that taking pain pills was only a temporary solution and that he had to make a lifestyle change to get harder to kill.

This led to his mission of helping other veterans lose weight and get more fit.

Links & Resources

Transcript

View the transcript for this episode.

]]> 00:57:40 <![CDATA[Finding Purpose Through Entrepreneurship]]> Thu, 27 Apr 2023 08:00:00 +0000 Scott DeLuzio https://permalink.castos.com/podcast/2296/episode/1453630 Examining the potential benefits of entrepreneurship as a means of finding purpose and meaning after military service.

  1. Introduction
  2. Benefits of Entrepreneurship
    • Discuss the potential benefits of entrepreneurship, such as:
  3. Challenges of Entrepreneurship
    • Challenges of entrepreneurship, such as:
      • Financial risks and uncertainties.
      • Long hours and hard work are required to build a successful business.
      • Need for a solid business plan and understanding of market demands.
      • Importance of building a support network.
      • Strategies for overcoming these challenges
  4. Resources and Support
    • Resources and support available for veterans who want to pursue entrepreneurship, such as:
      • Small Business Administration (SBA) programs and resources.
      • Veteran Entrepreneur Portal (VEP) through the VA
      • VA Vocational Rehabilitation and Employment (VR&E) programs.
      • Nonprofit organizations and community resources.
    • Highlight the importance of networking and seeking out support to achieve success.
  5. Conclusion
    • Summary of the potential benefits of entrepreneurship for veterans seeking purpose and meaning.
    • Encouragement for listeners to explore entrepreneurship as a viable option and to seek out resources and support to help them along the way.

Links & Resources

Transcript

View the transcript for this episode.

]]> full 275 false Examining the potential benefits of entrepreneurship as a means of finding purpose and meaning after military service.

  1. Introduction
  2. Benefits of Entrepreneurship
    • Discuss the potential benefits of entrepreneurship, such as:
  3. Challenges of Entrepreneurship
    • Challenges of entrepreneurship, such as:
      • Financial risks and uncertainties.
      • Long hours and hard work are required to build a successful business.
      • Need for a solid business plan and understanding of market demands.
      • Importance of building a support network.
      • Strategies for overcoming these challenges
  4. Resources and Support
    • Resources and support available for veterans who want to pursue entrepreneurship, such as:
      • Small Business Administration (SBA) programs and resources.
      • Veteran Entrepreneur Portal (VEP) through the VA
      • VA Vocational Rehabilitation and Employment (VR&E) programs.
      • Nonprofit organizations and community resources.
    • Highlight the importance of networking and seeking out support to achieve success.
  5. Conclusion
    • Summary of the potential benefits of entrepreneurship for veterans seeking purpose and meaning.
    • Encouragement for listeners to explore entrepreneurship as a viable option and to seek out resources and support to help them along the way.

Links & Resources

Transcript

View the transcript for this episode.

]]> 00:26:25 <![CDATA[National Medal of Honor Museum]]> Tue, 25 Apr 2023 08:00:00 +0000 Scott DeLuzio https://permalink.castos.com/podcast/2296/episode/1441644 Darrell Utt is the Chief of Business Operations at the National Medal of Honor Museum Foundation and a retired Green Beret. He was a small-town kid from West Virginia who joined the Army in 1990 and went on to become a Special Forces Green Beret.

Darrell talks about his experience of being a newly minted Special Forces Green Beret and being thrown into a situation he was completely unprepared for. He was put on the bunny slopes with three- to five-year-old German kids with no prior skiing experience, and he was completely humbled and overwhelmed. This experience taught him the importance of being humble, never giving up, and of showing up no matter what.

Links & Resources

Transcript

View the transcript for this episode.

]]> full 274 false Darrell Utt is the Chief of Business Operations at the National Medal of Honor Museum Foundation and a retired Green Beret. He was a small-town kid from West Virginia who joined the Army in 1990 and went on to become a Special Forces Green Beret.

Darrell talks about his experience of being a newly minted Special Forces Green Beret and being thrown into a situation he was completely unprepared for. He was put on the bunny slopes with three- to five-year-old German kids with no prior skiing experience, and he was completely humbled and overwhelmed. This experience taught him the importance of being humble, never giving up, and of showing up no matter what.

Links & Resources

Transcript

View the transcript for this episode.

]]> 00:56:06 <![CDATA[Overcoming Stigma Surrounding Mental Health in the Military]]> Thu, 20 Apr 2023 08:00:00 +0000 Scott DeLuzio https://permalink.castos.com/podcast/2296/episode/1452300 This episode discusses the cultural barriers that prevent military members from seeking help for mental health issues and provides advice for breaking down these barriers.

  1. Introduction
    1. Explanation of the stigma surrounding mental health in the military
  2. Discussion on the cultural barriers that prevent military members from seeking help
    1. Explanation of the cultural factors that contribute to stigma surrounding mental health in the military
    2. Personal stories from veterans who have experienced these cultural barriers
    3. Discussion on the impact of these cultural barriers on the mental health of military members
  3. The importance of seeking help for mental health issues in the military
    1. Explanation of why it's important for military members to seek help for mental health issues
    2. Discussion on how seeking help can benefit the military as a whole
  4. Strategies for breaking down cultural barriers and reducing stigma surrounding mental health in the military
    1. Advice on how military leaders can encourage their troops to seek help
    2. Discussion on how to increase awareness of mental health issues in the military
  5. Conclusion
    1. Recap of the topics covered in the episode
    2. Final thoughts on the importance of breaking down cultural barriers and reducing stigma surrounding mental health in the military
    3. Encouragement for military members to seek help when needed and for military leaders to prioritize mental health.

Links & Resources

Transcript

View the transcript for this episode.

]]> full 273 false This episode discusses the cultural barriers that prevent military members from seeking help for mental health issues and provides advice for breaking down these barriers.

  1. Introduction
    1. Explanation of the stigma surrounding mental health in the military
  2. Discussion on the cultural barriers that prevent military members from seeking help
    1. Explanation of the cultural factors that contribute to stigma surrounding mental health in the military
    2. Personal stories from veterans who have experienced these cultural barriers
    3. Discussion on the impact of these cultural barriers on the mental health of military members
  3. The importance of seeking help for mental health issues in the military
    1. Explanation of why it's important for military members to seek help for mental health issues
    2. Discussion on how seeking help can benefit the military as a whole
  4. Strategies for breaking down cultural barriers and reducing stigma surrounding mental health in the military
    1. Advice on how military leaders can encourage their troops to seek help
    2. Discussion on how to increase awareness of mental health issues in the military
  5. Conclusion
    1. Recap of the topics covered in the episode
    2. Final thoughts on the importance of breaking down cultural barriers and reducing stigma surrounding mental health in the military
    3. Encouragement for military members to seek help when needed and for military leaders to prioritize mental health.

Links & Resources

Transcript

View the transcript for this episode.

]]> 00:31:06 <![CDATA[Boots To Books]]> Tue, 18 Apr 2023 08:00:00 +0000 Scott DeLuzio https://permalink.castos.com/podcast/2296/episode/1440781 Peter Cline is an Army infantry veteran and the founder of Boots to Books, a nonprofit that helps veterans and their families attain competitive education and employment.

Peter's own transition out of the military was a bit rocky. He contacted a friend who helped him rephrase his military experience into terms civilian employers would understand. This led to the creation of Boots To Books.

Learn how Boots To Books can help you or someone you know in the transition out of the military in this episode.

Links & Resources

Transcript

View the transcript for this episode.

]]> full 272 false Peter Cline is an Army infantry veteran and the founder of Boots to Books, a nonprofit that helps veterans and their families attain competitive education and employment.

Peter's own transition out of the military was a bit rocky. He contacted a friend who helped him rephrase his military experience into terms civilian employers would understand. This led to the creation of Boots To Books.

Learn how Boots To Books can help you or someone you know in the transition out of the military in this episode.

Links & Resources

Transcript

View the transcript for this episode.

]]> 00:36:29 <![CDATA[Alternative Therapies for PTSD Treatment]]> Thu, 13 Apr 2023 08:00:00 +0000 Scott DeLuzio https://permalink.castos.com/podcast/2296/episode/1443702 In this episode, we look at alternative therapies for PTSD, such as art therapy, equine therapy, and adventure therapy.

Outline:

  • Introduction
    • Explanation of what PTSD is
    • Overview of traditional treatments for PTSD
    • Introduction to alternative therapies for PTSD treatment
  • Art therapy for PTSD treatment
    • Definition of art therapy
    • How art therapy can be used as a treatment for PTSD
  • Equine therapy for PTSD treatment
    • Definition of equine therapy
    • How equine therapy can be used as a treatment for PTSD
    • Where to access equine therapy
  • Adventure therapy for PTSD treatment
    • Definition of adventure therapy
    • How adventure therapy can be used as a treatment for PTSD
    • Where to access adventure therapy
  • Conclusion
    • Recap of the topics covered in the episode
    • Final thoughts on the potential benefits of alternative therapies for PTSD treatment
    • Encouragement for listeners to explore different options for PTSD treatment and to seek professional help when needed.

Links & Resources

Transcript

View the transcript for this episode.

]]> full 271 false In this episode, we look at alternative therapies for PTSD, such as art therapy, equine therapy, and adventure therapy.

Outline:

  • Introduction
    • Explanation of what PTSD is
    • Overview of traditional treatments for PTSD
    • Introduction to alternative therapies for PTSD treatment
  • Art therapy for PTSD treatment
    • Definition of art therapy
    • How art therapy can be used as a treatment for PTSD
  • Equine therapy for PTSD treatment
    • Definition of equine therapy
    • How equine therapy can be used as a treatment for PTSD
    • Where to access equine therapy
  • Adventure therapy for PTSD treatment
    • Definition of adventure therapy
    • How adventure therapy can be used as a treatment for PTSD
    • Where to access adventure therapy
  • Conclusion
    • Recap of the topics covered in the episode
    • Final thoughts on the potential benefits of alternative therapies for PTSD treatment
    • Encouragement for listeners to explore different options for PTSD treatment and to seek professional help when needed.

Links & Resources

Transcript

View the transcript for this episode.

]]> 00:20:33 <![CDATA[Combat Veteran on Overcoming Adversity And Achieving Career Success]]> Tue, 11 Apr 2023 08:00:00 +0000 Scott DeLuzio https://permalink.castos.com/podcast/2296/episode/1440769 Jason Pike served 31 years in the US Army, starting as a private and working his way up to the rank of Lieutenant Colonel. Jason shared his story of starting from the bottom and working hard to reach his goals.

He faced a federal investigation for espionage against the US government. He was accused of selling secrets to foreign nationals but was ultimately found innocent. He talks about how he managed the stress of this situation by leaning on his family and friends and seeking professional counseling.

Links & Resources

Transcript

View the transcript for this episode.

]]> full 270 false Jason Pike served 31 years in the US Army, starting as a private and working his way up to the rank of Lieutenant Colonel. Jason shared his story of starting from the bottom and working hard to reach his goals.

He faced a federal investigation for espionage against the US government. He was accused of selling secrets to foreign nationals but was ultimately found innocent. He talks about how he managed the stress of this situation by leaning on his family and friends and seeking professional counseling.

Links & Resources

Transcript

View the transcript for this episode.

]]> 00:47:37 <![CDATA[The Role of Family in Supporting Veterans]]> Thu, 06 Apr 2023 08:00:00 +0000 Scott DeLuzio https://permalink.castos.com/podcast/2296/episode/1442256 This is the first of hopefully many episodes where I take time to dive deep into a particular topic. This time it's the role of the family to support veterans.

Outline:

  • Introduction
    • Brief explanation of the importance of family support for veterans
    • Overview of the topics that will be covered in the episode
  • The impact of military service on veterans and their families
    • Discussion on the unique challenges that veterans and their families face
    • Common mental health issues experienced by veterans and how it affects their family relationships
    • The impact of deployment and separation on family dynamics
  • The importance of family support for veterans
    • Research studies that demonstrate the benefits of family support for veterans
    • Discussion on how family support can aid in the recovery and reintegration process for veterans
  • Strategies for families to support their veteran loved ones
    • Advice on how to communicate with veterans who may be struggling
    • Tips on how to provide emotional support for veterans
    • Discussion on resources available for families to help them support their veteran loved ones
  • Challenges families face when supporting veterans and how to overcome them
    • Common challenges that families may face when supporting veterans
    • Advice on how families can take care of themselves while supporting their loved ones
  • Conclusion
    • Recap of the topics covered in the episode
    • Final thoughts on the importance of family support for veterans
    • Encouragement for families to seek help and support when needed.

Links & Resources

Transcript

View the transcript for this episode.

]]> full 269 false This is the first of hopefully many episodes where I take time to dive deep into a particular topic. This time it's the role of the family to support veterans.

Outline:

  • Introduction
    • Brief explanation of the importance of family support for veterans
    • Overview of the topics that will be covered in the episode
  • The impact of military service on veterans and their families
    • Discussion on the unique challenges that veterans and their families face
    • Common mental health issues experienced by veterans and how it affects their family relationships
    • The impact of deployment and separation on family dynamics
  • The importance of family support for veterans
    • Research studies that demonstrate the benefits of family support for veterans
    • Discussion on how family support can aid in the recovery and reintegration process for veterans
  • Strategies for families to support their veteran loved ones
    • Advice on how to communicate with veterans who may be struggling
    • Tips on how to provide emotional support for veterans
    • Discussion on resources available for families to help them support their veteran loved ones
  • Challenges families face when supporting veterans and how to overcome them
    • Common challenges that families may face when supporting veterans
    • Advice on how families can take care of themselves while supporting their loved ones
  • Conclusion
    • Recap of the topics covered in the episode
    • Final thoughts on the importance of family support for veterans
    • Encouragement for families to seek help and support when needed.

Links & Resources

Transcript

View the transcript for this episode.

]]> 00:28:01 <![CDATA[USAF Veteran Shares How To Reach Goals And Motivate Personal Success]]> Tue, 04 Apr 2023 08:00:00 +0000 Scott DeLuzio https://permalink.castos.com/podcast/2296/episode/1439627 Paul White is a retired 21-year Air Force veteran with over 1500 hours as a tactical flight instructor. He has developed strategies to motivate people to become better versions of themselves and is here to discuss these strategies and how his 1 of 5 Project can propel people to reach their goals.

His experience as an instructor of people how to fly airplanes has helped him develop tactics and strategies for coaching people in different areas of their life. His 1 of 5 Project focuses on planning and executing your goals to succeed.

Links & Resources

Transcript

View the transcript for this episode.

]]> full 268 false Paul White is a retired 21-year Air Force veteran with over 1500 hours as a tactical flight instructor. He has developed strategies to motivate people to become better versions of themselves and is here to discuss these strategies and how his 1 of 5 Project can propel people to reach their goals.

His experience as an instructor of people how to fly airplanes has helped him develop tactics and strategies for coaching people in different areas of their life. His 1 of 5 Project focuses on planning and executing your goals to succeed.

Links & Resources

Transcript

View the transcript for this episode.

]]> 01:01:38 <![CDATA[USMC Veteran On Mentoring Veterans And His Son's Tragic Death]]> Thu, 30 Mar 2023 08:00:00 +0000 Scott DeLuzio https://permalink.castos.com/podcast/2296/episode/1439064 After the military, John Henry Parker sought ways to help him become a better person. He looked to personal development and programs to help him become the person he wanted to be.

He found that going through certain life experiences changed him for the better, and he was able to transcend most of the traumatic experiences he had. He still gets triggered, experiences depression, and has the urge to numb himself, but he has become more aware of these feelings and is able to recognize and work through them more quickly, and now helps other veterans through their traumas.

Links & Resources

Transcript

View the transcript for this episode.

]]> full 267 false After the military, John Henry Parker sought ways to help him become a better person. He looked to personal development and programs to help him become the person he wanted to be.

He found that going through certain life experiences changed him for the better, and he was able to transcend most of the traumatic experiences he had. He still gets triggered, experiences depression, and has the urge to numb himself, but he has become more aware of these feelings and is able to recognize and work through them more quickly, and now helps other veterans through their traumas.

Links & Resources

Transcript

View the transcript for this episode.

]]> 00:49:27 <![CDATA[Air Force Vet Overcomes Challenges To Achieve Dream Career]]> Tue, 28 Mar 2023 08:00:00 +0000 Scott DeLuzio https://permalink.castos.com/podcast/2296/episode/1423992 April Shprintz joins the podcast to share her journey in the Air Force and how, despite setbacks, she never quit pursuing her dreams.

April Shprintz owns Driven Outcomes and is a mentor with the nonprofit Warrior Rising, which helps veterans in business. After leaving the Air Force, April looked to change her career focus, as many veterans often do. Despite several obstacles she had to overcome, April's career flourished, and now she helps others start and scale their businesses.

Links & Resources

Transcript

View the transcript for this episode.

]]> full 266 false April Shprintz joins the podcast to share her journey in the Air Force and how, despite setbacks, she never quit pursuing her dreams.

April Shprintz owns Driven Outcomes and is a mentor with the nonprofit Warrior Rising, which helps veterans in business. After leaving the Air Force, April looked to change her career focus, as many veterans often do. Despite several obstacles she had to overcome, April's career flourished, and now she helps others start and scale their businesses.

Links & Resources

Transcript

View the transcript for this episode.

]]> 00:39:44 <![CDATA[Unlock A Happier And Calmer You]]> Thu, 23 Mar 2023 08:00:00 +0000 Scott DeLuzio https://permalink.castos.com/podcast/2296/episode/1413589 Dr. Annie White discussed her book, The Calm Code, which provides readers with a step-by-step method to help them become calmer and happier.

She notes that the more negative thoughts you have, the easier it will be to think negative thoughts, and vice versa - the more positive thoughts you have, the easier it will be to think positively.

Her research while writing the book revealed scientifically proven ways to train the mind to be calm and happy, which she included in the book.

This episode talks about how we can manage stress and anxiety, the rigors of military and veteran life, and how Dr. White's book can help.

Links & Resources

Transcript

View the transcript for this episode.

]]> full 265 false Dr. Annie White discussed her book, The Calm Code, which provides readers with a step-by-step method to help them become calmer and happier.

She notes that the more negative thoughts you have, the easier it will be to think negative thoughts, and vice versa - the more positive thoughts you have, the easier it will be to think positively.

Her research while writing the book revealed scientifically proven ways to train the mind to be calm and happy, which she included in the book.

This episode talks about how we can manage stress and anxiety, the rigors of military and veteran life, and how Dr. White's book can help.

Links & Resources

Transcript

View the transcript for this episode.

]]> 00:41:39 <![CDATA[Naval Academy Friends Reflect On Friendship And Business]]> Tue, 21 Mar 2023 08:00:00 +0000 Scott DeLuzio https://permalink.castos.com/podcast/2296/episode/1412579 David Gutierrez and Stu Grazier met while attending the Naval Academy and have stayed close ever since. Stu and David were stationed apart for most of their careers in the Navy except when they were both stationed in Naples, Italy. Around this time, they started to discuss their plans for the future and decided to go into business together, focusing on real estate investments.

They emphasize the importance of choosing partners and friends wisely and also celebrating each other's successes. They were very intentional about formalizing their business partnership. They spent a lot of time discussing core values and what should be done in various situations, such as if a deal does not appraise or if either of them have an opportunity too good to pass up and the business has to dissolve. They also discussed how to separate their friendship from the business and continue to have conversations to ensure they are both bringing their best selves to their relationship.

They emphasized the importance of having these conversations before officially entering any business partnership. Comparing it to getting married, where you need to know what the other person wants and have a plan for any contingencies.

Links & Resources

Transcript

View the transcript for this episode.

]]> full 264 false David Gutierrez and Stu Grazier met while attending the Naval Academy and have stayed close ever since. Stu and David were stationed apart for most of their careers in the Navy except when they were both stationed in Naples, Italy. Around this time, they started to discuss their plans for the future and decided to go into business together, focusing on real estate investments.

They emphasize the importance of choosing partners and friends wisely and also celebrating each other's successes. They were very intentional about formalizing their business partnership. They spent a lot of time discussing core values and what should be done in various situations, such as if a deal does not appraise or if either of them have an opportunity too good to pass up and the business has to dissolve. They also discussed how to separate their friendship from the business and continue to have conversations to ensure they are both bringing their best selves to their relationship.

They emphasized the importance of having these conversations before officially entering any business partnership. Comparing it to getting married, where you need to know what the other person wants and have a plan for any contingencies.

Links & Resources

Transcript

View the transcript for this episode.

]]> 00:51:10 <![CDATA[Overcoming Problematic Drinking With Sinclair Method]]> Thu, 16 Mar 2023 08:00:00 +0000 Scott DeLuzio https://permalink.castos.com/podcast/2296/episode/1411801 Brian Noonan joins us to discuss the Sinclair Method, which is a method of treating alcoholism involving Naltrexone, a prescription medication, and alcohol.

The method was developed by Dr. Sinclair, who conducted studies with rodents by creating alcoholic mice and giving them Naltrexone. His findings showed that the only way to extinguish the interest in drinking was to combine the tablet with alcohol. Subsequent studies found that those who did not follow instructions and drank still saw a limit on their binge drinking and relapses. This method has become increasingly popular and is used as a way to treat alcoholism more effectively.

Brian discussed how alcohol treatment works and how it is linked to releasing endorphins or naturally-occurring opioids. He explained that when someone takes Naltrexone an hour before drinking, it blocks the release of these endorphins, and the person doesn't get the reward or buzz they would normally get when drinking. This type of behavior is known as operant conditioning and is a process that increases the likelihood of a behavior occurring if it is rewarded.

Links & Resources

Transcript

View the transcript for this episode.

]]> full 263 false Brian Noonan joins us to discuss the Sinclair Method, which is a method of treating alcoholism involving Naltrexone, a prescription medication, and alcohol.

The method was developed by Dr. Sinclair, who conducted studies with rodents by creating alcoholic mice and giving them Naltrexone. His findings showed that the only way to extinguish the interest in drinking was to combine the tablet with alcohol. Subsequent studies found that those who did not follow instructions and drank still saw a limit on their binge drinking and relapses. This method has become increasingly popular and is used as a way to treat alcoholism more effectively.

Brian discussed how alcohol treatment works and how it is linked to releasing endorphins or naturally-occurring opioids. He explained that when someone takes Naltrexone an hour before drinking, it blocks the release of these endorphins, and the person doesn't get the reward or buzz they would normally get when drinking. This type of behavior is known as operant conditioning and is a process that increases the likelihood of a behavior occurring if it is rewarded.

Links & Resources

Transcript

View the transcript for this episode.

]]> 00:44:01 <![CDATA[Spiritual Guidance To Veterans and First Responders]]> Tue, 14 Mar 2023 08:00:00 +0000 Scott DeLuzio https://permalink.castos.com/podcast/2296/episode/1411775 John Jones is a retired federal law enforcement officer and Navy Hospital Corman. He wrote a book, A Higher Calling, which offers first responders, veterans, and military personnel a biblical guide to their demanding work.

John has both military and law enforcement experience, which has given him a unique point of view and perspective that he has used to write his book. He wrote the book to provide a source of guidance for people who have gone through difficult experiences in their lives. The book provides biblical guidance and advice that can be used to help those who are struggling to find a way to heal and move on.

Links & Resources

Transcript

View the transcript for this episode.

]]> full 262 false John Jones is a retired federal law enforcement officer and Navy Hospital Corman. He wrote a book, A Higher Calling, which offers first responders, veterans, and military personnel a biblical guide to their demanding work.

John has both military and law enforcement experience, which has given him a unique point of view and perspective that he has used to write his book. He wrote the book to provide a source of guidance for people who have gone through difficult experiences in their lives. The book provides biblical guidance and advice that can be used to help those who are struggling to find a way to heal and move on.

Links & Resources

Transcript

View the transcript for this episode.

]]> 00:57:47 <![CDATA[Combat Veteran Finds Positive Path Out Of PTSD And Early Childhood Trauma]]> Thu, 09 Mar 2023 08:00:00 +0000 Scott DeLuzio https://permalink.castos.com/podcast/2296/episode/1403667 Clinton Dye is a four-tour Marine Corps combat veteran who struggled with PTSD from not only his deployments but also his early childhood. He was present when his mother shot his father in a drunken rage, which is one of many traumas he had to deal with growing up. He struggled to avoid the lure of drugs, alcohol, and crime, which were all common in his environment. He believes that his early childhood trauma helped him function better than many of his colleagues who suffered from PTSD and took their own lives. The hardships he experienced during his childhood helped him to cope with the intense stress of combat. He could handle the long hours, limited resources, and lack of outlets due to the hardening he had experienced early on. By having a strong foundation from his childhood, he was better able to handle the stress of the military. While he could push through it at the time, the trauma he experienced in the military later caught up to him, and he had to work to manage those traumas. He began using alcohol and other substances to cope with his stress but quickly realized it was an unhealthy coping mechanism. He finally realized that something needed to change and began to work on managing his emotions and traumas in a healthier way. In this episode, we'll talk about how Clinton believes everyone can work towards a better life and what he's doing now to help others in the same situation he was in not too long ago.

Links & Resources

Transcript

View the transcript for this episode.

]]> full 261 false Clinton Dye is a four-tour Marine Corps combat veteran who struggled with PTSD from not only his deployments but also his early childhood. He was present when his mother shot his father in a drunken rage, which is one of many traumas he had to deal with growing up. He struggled to avoid the lure of drugs, alcohol, and crime, which were all common in his environment. He believes that his early childhood trauma helped him function better than many of his colleagues who suffered from PTSD and took their own lives. The hardships he experienced during his childhood helped him to cope with the intense stress of combat. He could handle the long hours, limited resources, and lack of outlets due to the hardening he had experienced early on. By having a strong foundation from his childhood, he was better able to handle the stress of the military. While he could push through it at the time, the trauma he experienced in the military later caught up to him, and he had to work to manage those traumas. He began using alcohol and other substances to cope with his stress but quickly realized it was an unhealthy coping mechanism. He finally realized that something needed to change and began to work on managing his emotions and traumas in a healthier way. In this episode, we'll talk about how Clinton believes everyone can work towards a better life and what he's doing now to help others in the same situation he was in not too long ago.

Links & Resources

Transcript

View the transcript for this episode.

]]> 00:51:45 <![CDATA[Exploring the Cause and Treatment of Negative Thoughts]]> Tue, 07 Mar 2023 08:00:00 +0000 Scott DeLuzio https://permalink.castos.com/podcast/2296/episode/1380530 Betsy Holmberg is a psychologist who has focused on various topics, including self-injury and suicide. She is currently focused on the tribal brain, an interesting topic. Betsy has a Ph.D. from Duke and has conducted and published research at Harvard. She also ran the mental health service line for McKinsey and Company. After her husband left her, she had suicidal thoughts and struggled for years after. This led her to discover the neuroscience of thinking and why we think negatively, which shifted her perception of herself and how people interact with each other.

Betsy has had a major shift in her mental health after her discovery. She wants to share her newfound understanding of the neuroscience behind why people think negative thoughts.

There are two thought networks: the Central Executive Network (CEO brain) and the Tribal Brain (Default Mode).

  • The CEO brain is used for problem-solving and when focused on a task.
  • The Tribal Brain is the network used to form and live in clans. This network started hundreds of thousands of years ago when humans lived in clans and helped them form bonds and survive.

Our conversation covers the different ways in which our brains think to keep us safe. It talks about the importance of identifying who is in the clan and who is a threat, the hierarchies and roles that exist within the clan, and empathy. It is mentioned that these thoughts are automatic, and people often mistakenly shape their lives around them, thinking that they will make them happy. It is further explained that this is due to the caveman days when they needed to be the fastest and strongest to survive. Our conversation concludes by suggesting that life can improve by dismissing these thoughts.

Our conversation discussed how to stop listening to the tribal brain. It is as simple as identifying the voice and stopping it, but if the tribal brain is persistent, it can lead to severe depression. In these cases, it is important to reach out to family and friends and talk about what one is going through to reduce the feeling of isolation.

Links & Resources

Transcript

View the transcript for this episode.

]]> full 260 false Betsy Holmberg is a psychologist who has focused on various topics, including self-injury and suicide. She is currently focused on the tribal brain, an interesting topic. Betsy has a Ph.D. from Duke and has conducted and published research at Harvard. She also ran the mental health service line for McKinsey and Company. After her husband left her, she had suicidal thoughts and struggled for years after. This led her to discover the neuroscience of thinking and why we think negatively, which shifted her perception of herself and how people interact with each other.

Betsy has had a major shift in her mental health after her discovery. She wants to share her newfound understanding of the neuroscience behind why people think negative thoughts.

There are two thought networks: the Central Executive Network (CEO brain) and the Tribal Brain (Default Mode).

  • The CEO brain is used for problem-solving and when focused on a task.
  • The Tribal Brain is the network used to form and live in clans. This network started hundreds of thousands of years ago when humans lived in clans and helped them form bonds and survive.

Our conversation covers the different ways in which our brains think to keep us safe. It talks about the importance of identifying who is in the clan and who is a threat, the hierarchies and roles that exist within the clan, and empathy. It is mentioned that these thoughts are automatic, and people often mistakenly shape their lives around them, thinking that they will make them happy. It is further explained that this is due to the caveman days when they needed to be the fastest and strongest to survive. Our conversation concludes by suggesting that life can improve by dismissing these thoughts.

Our conversation discussed how to stop listening to the tribal brain. It is as simple as identifying the voice and stopping it, but if the tribal brain is persistent, it can lead to severe depression. In these cases, it is important to reach out to family and friends and talk about what one is going through to reduce the feeling of isolation.

Links & Resources

Transcript

View the transcript for this episode.

]]> 00:40:15 <![CDATA[Navy Veteran on Overcoming PTSD and Helping Fellow Vets]]> Thu, 02 Mar 2023 08:00:00 +0000 Scott DeLuzio https://permalink.castos.com/podcast/2296/episode/1385593 Daniel Mayberry is a Navy veteran who has struggled with PTSD and started a podcast whose mission is to help other veterans in need.

Daniel Mayberry joined the Navy at 17, shortly after the 9/11 attacks. His first ship was small, and there was not much to do. He was getting into trouble, and two senior chiefs asked him what he wanted from his service. He wanted to serve the country, and they pointed him to the job of Corpsman.

After returning from deployment, Daniel noticed something was off. He would go out to the bars and blackout, often ending up miles away with no recollection of how he got there. Daniel talks about this experience and how he's now helping other veterans with 1 Mile 1 Veteran.

Links & Resources

Transcript

View the transcript for this episode.

]]> full 259 false Daniel Mayberry is a Navy veteran who has struggled with PTSD and started a podcast whose mission is to help other veterans in need.

Daniel Mayberry joined the Navy at 17, shortly after the 9/11 attacks. His first ship was small, and there was not much to do. He was getting into trouble, and two senior chiefs asked him what he wanted from his service. He wanted to serve the country, and they pointed him to the job of Corpsman.

After returning from deployment, Daniel noticed something was off. He would go out to the bars and blackout, often ending up miles away with no recollection of how he got there. Daniel talks about this experience and how he's now helping other veterans with 1 Mile 1 Veteran.

Links & Resources

Transcript

View the transcript for this episode.

]]> 00:44:45 <![CDATA[Veterans Have the Skills for Starting a Franchise Business]]> Tue, 28 Feb 2023 08:00:00 +0000 Scott DeLuzio https://permalink.castos.com/podcast/2296/episode/1377463 Stacey Marmolejo is the founder and CEO of Franchise Prep Academy, which helps soon-to-retire military personnel navigate the franchise industry so that they can evaluate if a franchise career is right for them in their next step after the military.

Stacey comes from a family of 10 military generations serving 176 years collectively. Although her parents were Disheartened when she did not join the military, she knew she'd either be in the brig or kicked out quickly if she did. So, she climbed the corporate ladder and eventually became a senior vice president of a national company. It was then that she decided to quit and buy a startup franchise. She had three locations over 16 years and sold them for seven figures. She then decided to retire.

Stacey Marmolejo was retired for two days before becoming bored and starting to help people look at franchises. She believes franchises are a great business model, especially for people with work experience but not necessarily business ownership experience.

In the conversation, Scott and Stacey discuss the pros and cons of starting a business from scratch versus buying a franchise.

Links & Resources

Transcript

View the transcript for this episode.

]]> full 258 false Stacey Marmolejo is the founder and CEO of Franchise Prep Academy, which helps soon-to-retire military personnel navigate the franchise industry so that they can evaluate if a franchise career is right for them in their next step after the military.

Stacey comes from a family of 10 military generations serving 176 years collectively. Although her parents were Disheartened when she did not join the military, she knew she'd either be in the brig or kicked out quickly if she did. So, she climbed the corporate ladder and eventually became a senior vice president of a national company. It was then that she decided to quit and buy a startup franchise. She had three locations over 16 years and sold them for seven figures. She then decided to retire.

Stacey Marmolejo was retired for two days before becoming bored and starting to help people look at franchises. She believes franchises are a great business model, especially for people with work experience but not necessarily business ownership experience.

In the conversation, Scott and Stacey discuss the pros and cons of starting a business from scratch versus buying a franchise.

Links & Resources

Transcript

View the transcript for this episode.

]]> 00:58:26 <![CDATA[Bouncing Back After Transitioning Careers]]> Thu, 23 Feb 2023 08:00:00 +0000 Scott DeLuzio https://permalink.castos.com/podcast/2296/episode/1374889 TSI CEO, Executive Coach, and "Undefeatable" Author Tiana Sanchez, whose father was a US Army veteran, talks about how kickboxing and journaling helped her when she unexpectedly faced a career transition.

Links & Resources

Transcript

View the transcript for this episode.

]]> full 257 false TSI CEO, Executive Coach, and "Undefeatable" Author Tiana Sanchez, whose father was a US Army veteran, talks about how kickboxing and journaling helped her when she unexpectedly faced a career transition.

Links & Resources

Transcript

View the transcript for this episode.

]]> 00:45:18 <![CDATA[Resources Available to Reserve and Guard Members]]> Tue, 21 Feb 2023 08:00:00 +0000 Scott DeLuzio https://permalink.castos.com/podcast/2296/episode/1374884 Army Reservist Jean Adam talks about the resources available to Reserves and National Guard members that many are unaware of.

This episode serves as an excellent opportunity for any leaders who are currently serving to:

  • Compile a list of any opportunities or resources that you know about.
  • Ask other leaders to share resources they know about that aren't already on your list.
  • Evaluate the opportunities available and educate your troops about what they are and how they can help them.
  • Spread the information you obtained about these resources throughout your unit so others can benefit.

Links & Resources

Transcript

View the transcript for this episode.

]]> full 256 false Army Reservist Jean Adam talks about the resources available to Reserves and National Guard members that many are unaware of.

This episode serves as an excellent opportunity for any leaders who are currently serving to:

  • Compile a list of any opportunities or resources that you know about.
  • Ask other leaders to share resources they know about that aren't already on your list.
  • Evaluate the opportunities available and educate your troops about what they are and how they can help them.
  • Spread the information you obtained about these resources throughout your unit so others can benefit.

Links & Resources

Transcript

View the transcript for this episode.

]]> 00:38:01 <![CDATA[Your Story Isn't Over]]> Thu, 16 Feb 2023 08:00:00 +0000 Scott DeLuzio https://permalink.castos.com/podcast/2296/episode/1368202 In this episode, we are joined by USMC veteran Mike Washington. Mike has a powerful story to share as a suicide survivor. He discusses in detail the moment that saved his life and the journey that followed.

Mike is now a licensed therapist and uses his experience to help others facing mental health struggles. Additionally, he was part of a powerful project called The Wingman Project, which seeks to raise awareness for veteran mental health.

Join us as we hear Mike's story and the inspiration behind The Wingman Project.

Links & Resources

Transcript

View the transcript for this episode.

]]> full 255 false In this episode, we are joined by USMC veteran Mike Washington. Mike has a powerful story to share as a suicide survivor. He discusses in detail the moment that saved his life and the journey that followed.

Mike is now a licensed therapist and uses his experience to help others facing mental health struggles. Additionally, he was part of a powerful project called The Wingman Project, which seeks to raise awareness for veteran mental health.

Join us as we hear Mike's story and the inspiration behind The Wingman Project.

Links & Resources

Transcript

View the transcript for this episode.

]]> 00:43:35 <![CDATA[Breaking Bad Habits]]> Tue, 14 Feb 2023 08:00:00 +0000 Scott DeLuzio https://permalink.castos.com/podcast/2296/episode/1365098 Dr. Noah St John is known as "The Father of Afformations®." He joins us in this episode to help eliminate "not-enoughness" from our lives and break free of the bad habits we created that are holding us back from reaching our goals.

Links & Resources

Transcript

View the transcript for this episode.

]]> full 254 false Dr. Noah St John is known as "The Father of Afformations®." He joins us in this episode to help eliminate "not-enoughness" from our lives and break free of the bad habits we created that are holding us back from reaching our goals.

Links & Resources

Transcript

View the transcript for this episode.

]]> 00:37:00 <![CDATA[Choosing to Live Life After a Near-Death Experience]]> Thu, 09 Feb 2023 08:00:00 +0000 Scott DeLuzio https://permalink.castos.com/podcast/2296/episode/1365060 In this episode, we're joined by Nicole Kerr, an Air Force veteran who had a near-death experience that changed her life, which she writes about in her book You Are Deathless.

Nicole shares her story and discusses how her near-death experience gave her a new outlook on life. She'll talk about the physical and emotional aftermath of the experience, how she found strength in it, and how it has affected her life ever since. We'll also learn about the inspirational work Nicole is doing to help others and her advice for anyone facing a life-altering experience.

Tune in to this powerful conversation to gain a new perspective on life and resilience in facing adversity.

Links & Resources

Transcript

View the transcript for this episode.

]]> full 253 false In this episode, we're joined by Nicole Kerr, an Air Force veteran who had a near-death experience that changed her life, which she writes about in her book You Are Deathless.

Nicole shares her story and discusses how her near-death experience gave her a new outlook on life. She'll talk about the physical and emotional aftermath of the experience, how she found strength in it, and how it has affected her life ever since. We'll also learn about the inspirational work Nicole is doing to help others and her advice for anyone facing a life-altering experience.

Tune in to this powerful conversation to gain a new perspective on life and resilience in facing adversity.

Links & Resources

Transcript

View the transcript for this episode.

]]> 00:48:18 <![CDATA[Change Your Mindset Change Your Life]]> Tue, 07 Feb 2023 08:00:00 +0000 Scott DeLuzio https://permalink.castos.com/podcast/2296/episode/1361518 Nina Szewczak has lived a life of highs and lows. After experiencing personal setbacks that threatened to keep her down, she decided to take matters into her own hands and transform her life - not once but twice. In this episode, Nina speaks candidly about her struggles and successes to reveal her strategies to get back on her feet. She shares her story of resilience and hope and explains how others can learn from her experience to work towards a more positive life. Tune in to this inspiring episode to learn how Nina turned her pain into power and created the life she wanted.

Links & Resources

Transcript

View the transcript for this episode.

]]> full 252 false Nina Szewczak has lived a life of highs and lows. After experiencing personal setbacks that threatened to keep her down, she decided to take matters into her own hands and transform her life - not once but twice. In this episode, Nina speaks candidly about her struggles and successes to reveal her strategies to get back on her feet. She shares her story of resilience and hope and explains how others can learn from her experience to work towards a more positive life. Tune in to this inspiring episode to learn how Nina turned her pain into power and created the life she wanted.

Links & Resources

Transcript

View the transcript for this episode.

]]> 00:47:50 <![CDATA[Tinnitus Relief with Melody Clouds]]> Thu, 02 Feb 2023 08:00:00 +0000 Scott DeLuzio https://permalink.castos.com/podcast/2296/episode/1349982 In this powerful episode, we speak with Wayne Altman, an Army veteran who founded Melody Clouds to help people suffering from tinnitus and other conditions. After he was diagnosed with tinnitus, Wayne discovered binaural beats as his way of coping with the ringing in his ears. Hear how his journey and passion led him to create a platform that has helped people worldwide. Plus, learn how you can get involved with Melody Clouds and what to do if you are suffering from tinnitus.

Links & Resources

Transcript

View the transcript for this episode.

]]> full 251 false In this powerful episode, we speak with Wayne Altman, an Army veteran who founded Melody Clouds to help people suffering from tinnitus and other conditions. After he was diagnosed with tinnitus, Wayne discovered binaural beats as his way of coping with the ringing in his ears. Hear how his journey and passion led him to create a platform that has helped people worldwide. Plus, learn how you can get involved with Melody Clouds and what to do if you are suffering from tinnitus.

Links & Resources

Transcript

View the transcript for this episode.

]]> 00:37:39 <![CDATA[Project Refit]]> Tue, 31 Jan 2023 08:00:00 +0000 Scott DeLuzio https://permalink.castos.com/podcast/2296/episode/1348654 Dan Lombard is an Army combat veteran who is a co-founder of Project Refit, which is working to change the negative connotation around getting mental health support. In this episode, we discuss Project Refit and all they do to help support the military, veteran, and first responder communities.

Links & Resources

Transcript

View the transcript for this episode.

]]> full 250 false Dan Lombard is an Army combat veteran who is a co-founder of Project Refit, which is working to change the negative connotation around getting mental health support. In this episode, we discuss Project Refit and all they do to help support the military, veteran, and first responder communities.

Links & Resources

Transcript

View the transcript for this episode.

]]> 00:41:02 <![CDATA[Trauma Informed Care]]> Thu, 26 Jan 2023 08:00:00 +0000 Scott DeLuzio https://permalink.castos.com/podcast/2296/episode/1348583 In this episode, we're joined by Elizabeth Power, the founder of The Trauma-Informed Academy and a passionate advocate for helping people cope with traumatic experiences. Elizabeth will share her own story of overcoming trauma and how she developed The Trauma-Informed Academy to empower others to do the same. She'll provide us with some practical tips and resources to help us support those who have experienced trauma.

Tune in to learn more about recognizing and supporting individuals on their journey of healing.

Links & Resources

Transcript

View the transcript for this episode.

]]> full 249 false In this episode, we're joined by Elizabeth Power, the founder of The Trauma-Informed Academy and a passionate advocate for helping people cope with traumatic experiences. Elizabeth will share her own story of overcoming trauma and how she developed The Trauma-Informed Academy to empower others to do the same. She'll provide us with some practical tips and resources to help us support those who have experienced trauma.

Tune in to learn more about recognizing and supporting individuals on their journey of healing.

Links & Resources

Transcript

View the transcript for this episode.

]]> 00:38:29 <![CDATA[Continuing to Serve After Medical Retirement]]> Tue, 24 Jan 2023 08:00:00 +0000 Scott DeLuzio https://permalink.castos.com/podcast/2296/episode/1346563 Alex Gonzales is a retired Army Colonel who served in Iraq and Afghanistan and suffers from a traumatic brain injury and post-traumatic stress disorder. Despite his struggles, he continues to serve his fellow veterans by sending daily devotional messages and by always being available when those veterans need someone to talk to.

In this episode, Alex shares his story of resilience, courage, and overcoming adversity while providing practical advice and guidance on how to navigate the struggles of being a veteran. Join us as we explore Alex's journey and learn how we can all make a difference in the lives of our fellow veterans.

Links & Resources

  • Text 254-368-8527 to receive Alex's daily devotional messages

Transcript

View the transcript for this episode.

]]> full 248 false Alex Gonzales is a retired Army Colonel who served in Iraq and Afghanistan and suffers from a traumatic brain injury and post-traumatic stress disorder. Despite his struggles, he continues to serve his fellow veterans by sending daily devotional messages and by always being available when those veterans need someone to talk to.

In this episode, Alex shares his story of resilience, courage, and overcoming adversity while providing practical advice and guidance on how to navigate the struggles of being a veteran. Join us as we explore Alex's journey and learn how we can all make a difference in the lives of our fellow veterans.

Links & Resources

  • Text 254-368-8527 to receive Alex's daily devotional messages

Transcript

View the transcript for this episode.

]]> 00:39:00 <![CDATA[How Mighty Oaks Helps Save Veterans]]> Thu, 19 Jan 2023 08:00:00 +0000 Scott DeLuzio https://permalink.castos.com/podcast/2296/episode/1342087 In this episode, we are joined by Brandon Bettis, who used the Mighty Oaks Foundation to overcome his suicidal thoughts and find his faith. After trying medication and counseling, which didn't seem to help, Brandon found himself in a dark place and nearly gave up hope. But thanks to the Mighty Oaks Foundation, Brandon was able to find the strength and courage to turn his life around. Hear Brandon's inspiring story of finding faith, hope, and strength through the help of the Mighty Oaks Foundation.

Links & Resources

Transcript

View the transcript for this episode.

]]> full 247 false In this episode, we are joined by Brandon Bettis, who used the Mighty Oaks Foundation to overcome his suicidal thoughts and find his faith. After trying medication and counseling, which didn't seem to help, Brandon found himself in a dark place and nearly gave up hope. But thanks to the Mighty Oaks Foundation, Brandon was able to find the strength and courage to turn his life around. Hear Brandon's inspiring story of finding faith, hope, and strength through the help of the Mighty Oaks Foundation.

Links & Resources

Transcript

View the transcript for this episode.

]]> 00:43:32 <![CDATA[Gold Star Brother Remembering the Fallen]]> Tue, 17 Jan 2023 08:00:00 +0000 Scott DeLuzio https://permalink.castos.com/podcast/2296/episode/1338014 It is a tragedy whenever a service member is killed in action. Not only does the nation lose someone selfless enough to put their life on the line for others, but the families of that service member are also left behind. On this podcast, I've had the opportunity to speak with several Gold Star Family members, but an often overlooked subset of this category is the siblings. In this episode, Gold Star Brother, Thad Forester, discusses the loss of his brother, Mark Forester, who was a US Air Force Combat Controller killed in action in Afghanistan.

Thad is the author of the book My Brother In Arms and the host of the Patriot to the Core podcast.

Links & Resources

Transcript

View the transcript for this episode.

]]> full 246 false It is a tragedy whenever a service member is killed in action. Not only does the nation lose someone selfless enough to put their life on the line for others, but the families of that service member are also left behind. On this podcast, I've had the opportunity to speak with several Gold Star Family members, but an often overlooked subset of this category is the siblings. In this episode, Gold Star Brother, Thad Forester, discusses the loss of his brother, Mark Forester, who was a US Air Force Combat Controller killed in action in Afghanistan.

Thad is the author of the book My Brother In Arms and the host of the Patriot to the Core podcast.

Links & Resources

Transcript

View the transcript for this episode.

]]> 00:49:39 <![CDATA[How to Support an Addict In Your Life]]> Thu, 12 Jan 2023 08:00:00 +0000 Scott DeLuzio https://permalink.castos.com/podcast/2296/episode/1334668 Michaela Kelley Canterbury is a lawyer and writer. Michaela obtained her J.D. at Gonzaga University School of Law in Spokane, Washington, and graduated from Duquesne University in Pittsburgh, Pennsylvania, with a BA in political science and a minor in philosophy.

Michaela is the author of the book Sister Siren A Non-Fiction About Addiction. In the book, she details the ups and downs of being the sister of an addict and shows the reader the journey it takes to love someone through addiction. In this episode, we talk about how addiction affects people and how we can best support those in our lives who are struggling with addiction.

Links & Resources

Transcript

View the transcript for this episode.

]]> full 245 false Michaela Kelley Canterbury is a lawyer and writer. Michaela obtained her J.D. at Gonzaga University School of Law in Spokane, Washington, and graduated from Duquesne University in Pittsburgh, Pennsylvania, with a BA in political science and a minor in philosophy.

Michaela is the author of the book Sister Siren A Non-Fiction About Addiction. In the book, she details the ups and downs of being the sister of an addict and shows the reader the journey it takes to love someone through addiction. In this episode, we talk about how addiction affects people and how we can best support those in our lives who are struggling with addiction.

Links & Resources

Transcript

View the transcript for this episode.

]]> 00:46:49 <![CDATA[How to De-Stress Your Life]]> Tue, 10 Jan 2023 08:00:00 +0000 Scott DeLuzio https://permalink.castos.com/podcast/2296/episode/1331850 Natalie Shand-Spellman, Coach Nat earned a Bachelor of Science in Health Science and a Master of Science in Occupational Therapy from Stony Brook University, New York. Coach Nat is an occupational therapist clinician, a Boot Camp for Life transformational coach, speaker, published author, and combat marine veteran.

Coach Nat has dealt with lost identity, brokenness, emotional turmoil, and ill health because of unmanaged stress. She later discovered a top transformative technique called "purpose-cising" to deal with mental, emotional, and spiritual stress. She also found Life's Unwritten Formula for Success, the different Narrative Functional Identity Types, and NEW STARTS FOR ME lifestyle principles for peak performance and function in life.

She loves to give advice and shares words of wisdom to impact the lives of others. Coach Nat is now on a mission of hope with a big heart for teenagers, millennials, veterans, and women who feel lost, broken, and trying to figure out their lives.

She is the author of Drop Stress Like A Hot Potato For Busy Women, with a schedule to release in December 2022. It is a transformative Stress Workbook with life coaching to stop emotional, mental, and spiritual stress for women to live their best lives of power and purpose.

The workbook is also illustrative, where Coach Nat will coach you through your stress journey.

Coach Nat also features in her book the Coach Nat Questions & Answer Column, Advice on the Go with Coach Nat, Real Talk with Coach Nat and Check-in times with Coach Nat. The workbook has many of Coach Nat's inspirational quotes, life super tips, and life-changing strategies for transformation. The overall experience of engaging with the book is extraordinary; it is also enhanced with calm and relaxing colors to relieve stress. Drop Stress Like A Hot Potato is a game-changer in managing mental health during the post-Covid-19 pandemic.

Links & Resources

Transcript

View the transcript for this episode.

]]> full 244 false Natalie Shand-Spellman, Coach Nat earned a Bachelor of Science in Health Science and a Master of Science in Occupational Therapy from Stony Brook University, New York. Coach Nat is an occupational therapist clinician, a Boot Camp for Life transformational coach, speaker, published author, and combat marine veteran.

Coach Nat has dealt with lost identity, brokenness, emotional turmoil, and ill health because of unmanaged stress. She later discovered a top transformative technique called "purpose-cising" to deal with mental, emotional, and spiritual stress. She also found Life's Unwritten Formula for Success, the different Narrative Functional Identity Types, and NEW STARTS FOR ME lifestyle principles for peak performance and function in life.

She loves to give advice and shares words of wisdom to impact the lives of others. Coach Nat is now on a mission of hope with a big heart for teenagers, millennials, veterans, and women who feel lost, broken, and trying to figure out their lives.

She is the author of Drop Stress Like A Hot Potato For Busy Women, with a schedule to release in December 2022. It is a transformative Stress Workbook with life coaching to stop emotional, mental, and spiritual stress for women to live their best lives of power and purpose.

The workbook is also illustrative, where Coach Nat will coach you through your stress journey.

Coach Nat also features in her book the Coach Nat Questions & Answer Column, Advice on the Go with Coach Nat, Real Talk with Coach Nat and Check-in times with Coach Nat. The workbook has many of Coach Nat's inspirational quotes, life super tips, and life-changing strategies for transformation. The overall experience of engaging with the book is extraordinary; it is also enhanced with calm and relaxing colors to relieve stress. Drop Stress Like A Hot Potato is a game-changer in managing mental health during the post-Covid-19 pandemic.

Links & Resources

Transcript

View the transcript for this episode.

]]> 00:42:11 <![CDATA[Warrior Surf Foundation]]> Thu, 05 Jan 2023 08:00:00 +0000 Scott DeLuzio https://permalink.castos.com/podcast/2296/episode/1331845 Stephanie Dasher is a Navy veteran and the Executive Director of the Warrior Surf Foundation, which helps veterans heal through surf therapy. She joins us in this episode to discuss how Warrior Surf Foundation has impacted her family and all the great work the organization is doing to help veterans heal.

Links & Resources

Transcript

View the transcript for this episode.

]]> full 243 false Stephanie Dasher is a Navy veteran and the Executive Director of the Warrior Surf Foundation, which helps veterans heal through surf therapy. She joins us in this episode to discuss how Warrior Surf Foundation has impacted her family and all the great work the organization is doing to help veterans heal.

Links & Resources

Transcript

View the transcript for this episode.

]]> 00:39:25 <![CDATA[How to Recover From TBIs]]> Tue, 03 Jan 2023 08:00:00 +0000 Scott DeLuzio https://permalink.castos.com/podcast/2296/episode/1314629 Brandy Lang is a 5x concussion survivor and Air Force veteran whose focus is now on helping other veterans recover from TBIs.

Links & Resources

Transcript

View the transcript for this episode.

]]> full 242 false Brandy Lang is a 5x concussion survivor and Air Force veteran whose focus is now on helping other veterans recover from TBIs.

Links & Resources

Transcript

View the transcript for this episode.

]]> 00:42:31 <![CDATA[How Many Mondays Do You Have Left to Live?]]> Thu, 29 Dec 2022 17:39:42 +0000 Scott DeLuzio https://permalink.castos.com/podcast/2296/episode/1314557 Jodi is the founder of Four Thousand Mondays, which helps others not take life for granted or feel like they've squandered their time and to feel totally alive. She is also an Assistant Instructor in the Master of Applied Positive Psychology program at the University of Pennsylvania, and in this episode, we discuss how we can make the most of the Mondays we all have left.

Links & Resources

Transcript

View the transcript for this episode.

]]> full 241 false Jodi is the founder of Four Thousand Mondays, which helps others not take life for granted or feel like they've squandered their time and to feel totally alive. She is also an Assistant Instructor in the Master of Applied Positive Psychology program at the University of Pennsylvania, and in this episode, we discuss how we can make the most of the Mondays we all have left.

Links & Resources

Transcript

View the transcript for this episode.

]]> 00:43:10 <![CDATA[Veterans Beer Club]]> Tue, 27 Dec 2022 08:00:00 +0000 Scott DeLuzio https://permalink.castos.com/podcast/2296/episode/1319699 Phil Kendro is a Marine Corps veteran who is also a co-founder of the Veterans Beer Club with the goal of helping Veterans transition into civilian life after the military.

Links & Resources

Transcript

View the transcript for this episode.

]]> full 240 false Phil Kendro is a Marine Corps veteran who is also a co-founder of the Veterans Beer Club with the goal of helping Veterans transition into civilian life after the military.

Links & Resources

Transcript

View the transcript for this episode.

]]> 00:37:46 <![CDATA[Optimizing Your Health]]> Thu, 22 Dec 2022 08:00:00 +0000 Scott DeLuzio https://permalink.castos.com/podcast/2296/episode/1311279 Despite the fact that 60% of American adults have 1 chronic disease and 40% have 2 or more, there is much that can be done to ensure that you live long, feel great and live well. Many of the lifestyle modifications are free or low cost and therefore, have not received sufficient attention.

Emily Gold Mears is a former attorney who shifted her advocacy efforts to seek information on optimizing health through research analysis in science and medicine. In this episode we talk about sleep issues, reducing exposures to toxins, and other ways we can improve our health.

Links & Resources

Transcript

View the transcript for this episode.

]]> full 239 false Despite the fact that 60% of American adults have 1 chronic disease and 40% have 2 or more, there is much that can be done to ensure that you live long, feel great and live well. Many of the lifestyle modifications are free or low cost and therefore, have not received sufficient attention.

Emily Gold Mears is a former attorney who shifted her advocacy efforts to seek information on optimizing health through research analysis in science and medicine. In this episode we talk about sleep issues, reducing exposures to toxins, and other ways we can improve our health.

Links & Resources

Transcript

View the transcript for this episode.

]]> 00:33:36 <![CDATA[How to Be a Mentor After Military Service]]> Tue, 20 Dec 2022 08:00:00 +0000 Scott DeLuzio https://permalink.castos.com/podcast/2296/episode/1307500 Dr. Christine Van Horn is an author, teacher, and speaker. She has been a Certified Emergency Manager for 30 years and recently retired. She is now applying her emergency management experience to focus on character in society. Dr. Van Horn has written two books for older children to teach them character through the eyes of a superhero. In this episode, she discusses how veterans and service members can use their experiences to mentor those in our lives who may not be in the military.

Links & Resources

Transcript

View the transcript for this episode.

]]> full 238 false Dr. Christine Van Horn is an author, teacher, and speaker. She has been a Certified Emergency Manager for 30 years and recently retired. She is now applying her emergency management experience to focus on character in society. Dr. Van Horn has written two books for older children to teach them character through the eyes of a superhero. In this episode, she discusses how veterans and service members can use their experiences to mentor those in our lives who may not be in the military.

Links & Resources

Transcript

View the transcript for this episode.

]]> 00:36:14 <![CDATA[Helping Build Resilience in Military Kids]]> Thu, 15 Dec 2022 08:00:00 +0000 Scott DeLuzio https://permalink.castos.com/podcast/2296/episode/1306944 For Renaye Thornborrow, motherhood was the catalyst for turning her lifelong passion for personal development into a powerful story-based coaching curriculum to help children develop mindset skills for self-esteem, resilience, confidence, self-leadership, happiness, and so much more.

Renaye discusses how we can help children in military families find their confidence and self-esteem when dealing with the unique challenges that face military families, like deployments and PCS.

Links & Resources

Transcript

View the transcript for this episode.

]]> full 237 false For Renaye Thornborrow, motherhood was the catalyst for turning her lifelong passion for personal development into a powerful story-based coaching curriculum to help children develop mindset skills for self-esteem, resilience, confidence, self-leadership, happiness, and so much more.

Renaye discusses how we can help children in military families find their confidence and self-esteem when dealing with the unique challenges that face military families, like deployments and PCS.

Links & Resources

Transcript

View the transcript for this episode.

]]> 00:32:39 <![CDATA[Shields & Stripes]]> Tue, 13 Dec 2022 08:00:00 +0000 Scott DeLuzio https://permalink.castos.com/podcast/2296/episode/1306934 Steven Nisbet is an Air Force veteran and the President of Shields & Stripes, a non-profit that takes a holistic mind/body approach to help veterans and first responders heal from traumas they've experienced while serving our nation and their communities.

Links & Resources

Transcript

View the transcript for this episode.

]]> full 236 false Steven Nisbet is an Air Force veteran and the President of Shields & Stripes, a non-profit that takes a holistic mind/body approach to help veterans and first responders heal from traumas they've experienced while serving our nation and their communities.

Links & Resources

Transcript

View the transcript for this episode.

]]> 00:45:28 <![CDATA[How to Get Along With Anyone]]> Thu, 08 Dec 2022 08:13:00 +0000 Scott DeLuzio https://permalink.castos.com/podcast/2296/episode/1305301 Dr. Vicki Matthews helps people better understand themselves and the people in their lives to nurture better relationships.

Links & Resources

Transcript

View the transcript for this episode.

]]> full 235 false Dr. Vicki Matthews helps people better understand themselves and the people in their lives to nurture better relationships.

Links & Resources

Transcript

View the transcript for this episode.

]]> 00:37:37 <![CDATA[Combat to College]]> Tue, 06 Dec 2022 08:00:00 +0000 Scott DeLuzio https://permalink.castos.com/podcast/2296/episode/1305232 John Davis is the author of the book Combat to College. Before joining the Army, John tried going to college, but it didn't quite work out for him. After his time in the military, he learned grit, perseverance, and discipline needed to excel in college. He now has a Master's degree from Harvard.

In addition to being an author, John has worked to help other veterans transition from their military career to college.

Links & Resources

Transcript

View the transcript for this episode.

]]> full 234 false John Davis is the author of the book Combat to College. Before joining the Army, John tried going to college, but it didn't quite work out for him. After his time in the military, he learned grit, perseverance, and discipline needed to excel in college. He now has a Master's degree from Harvard.

In addition to being an author, John has worked to help other veterans transition from their military career to college.

Links & Resources

Transcript

View the transcript for this episode.

]]> 00:39:46 <![CDATA[How a Prepared Mind Can Help Minimize PTSD]]> Thu, 01 Dec 2022 08:00:00 +0000 Scott DeLuzio https://permalink.castos.com/podcast/2296/episode/1301071 Brian Slade discusses a harrowing experience as an Apache pilot in Afghanistan and how his mental preparation helped avoid catastrophe.

We also discuss his book, Cleared Hot: Lessons Learned about Life, Love, and Leadership While Flying the Apache Gunship in Afghanistan and Why I Believe a Prepared Mind Can Help Minimize PTSD, and Brian tells us why preparing ourselves mentally for even the most unexpected scenarios can help minimize PTSD.

Links & Resources

Transcript

View the transcript for this episode.

]]> full 233 false Brian Slade discusses a harrowing experience as an Apache pilot in Afghanistan and how his mental preparation helped avoid catastrophe.

We also discuss his book, Cleared Hot: Lessons Learned about Life, Love, and Leadership While Flying the Apache Gunship in Afghanistan and Why I Believe a Prepared Mind Can Help Minimize PTSD, and Brian tells us why preparing ourselves mentally for even the most unexpected scenarios can help minimize PTSD.

Links & Resources

Transcript

View the transcript for this episode.

]]> 00:42:04 <![CDATA[Creating Freedom in Our Minds]]> Tue, 29 Nov 2022 08:00:00 +0000 Scott DeLuzio https://permalink.castos.com/podcast/2296/episode/1285553 When Kalliope realized playing professional golf wasn't her calling, she began training others in the tools that propelled her into becoming a pro golfer in just two years. Since then, her TEDx Talk has over 1.9 million views. As a Master Trainer of Neuro-Linguistic Programming, she loves giving people the tools to overcome their fears and bad memories. Kalliope's heartfelt passion for giving hope to people who live in fear inspired her to produce a television reality show Kalliope's From Fear to Freedom, soon to be streaming on Amazon Prime Video. Above all, Kalliope is dedicated to creating a more fearless world so people can avoid being distracted from living their purpose, from fear to freedom!

Links & Resources

Transcript

View the transcript for this episode.

]]> full 232 false When Kalliope realized playing professional golf wasn't her calling, she began training others in the tools that propelled her into becoming a pro golfer in just two years. Since then, her TEDx Talk has over 1.9 million views. As a Master Trainer of Neuro-Linguistic Programming, she loves giving people the tools to overcome their fears and bad memories. Kalliope's heartfelt passion for giving hope to people who live in fear inspired her to produce a television reality show Kalliope's From Fear to Freedom, soon to be streaming on Amazon Prime Video. Above all, Kalliope is dedicated to creating a more fearless world so people can avoid being distracted from living their purpose, from fear to freedom!

Links & Resources

Transcript

View the transcript for this episode.

]]> 00:36:52 <![CDATA[Managing Brain Injuries]]> Thu, 24 Nov 2022 08:00:00 +0000 Scott DeLuzio https://permalink.castos.com/podcast/2296/episode/1285510 Dr. Jen Blanchette shares how she helps patients with brain injuries cope with the mental health aspects of their conditions.

Frequently those with brain injuries (TBI, concussion, and others) will experience symptoms including but not limited to:

  • Headaches
  • Nausea/vomiting
  • Fatigue/drowsiness
  • Inner ear issues/dizziness/sensitivity to sound/ringing in the ears
  • Difficulty paying attention
  • Visual difficulties (blurred vision, sensitivity to light)
  • Memory problems
  • Mood changes
  • Difficulty sleeping or sleeping more than usual

In this episode, we discussed ways to optimize brain health regardless of whether or not you've experienced a brain injury:

  1. Nutrition: Eating macronutrients, foods with fiber (i.e. fruits and veggies), and Omega-3 (i.e. fish, flaxseed, fish oil)
  2. Movement: You don't need to be doing PT like you were 19 all over again. Focus on keeping the blood moving in your body. Walk your dog - Fido will love you for it!
  3. Social interaction: Get quality social interactions where you feel that people know you. Church groups, VFW/American Legion, or other interest groups.
  4. Sleep: You have to recharge the battery.

Links & Resources

Transcript

View the transcript for this episode.

]]> full 231 false Dr. Jen Blanchette shares how she helps patients with brain injuries cope with the mental health aspects of their conditions.

Frequently those with brain injuries (TBI, concussion, and others) will experience symptoms including but not limited to:

  • Headaches
  • Nausea/vomiting
  • Fatigue/drowsiness
  • Inner ear issues/dizziness/sensitivity to sound/ringing in the ears
  • Difficulty paying attention
  • Visual difficulties (blurred vision, sensitivity to light)
  • Memory problems
  • Mood changes
  • Difficulty sleeping or sleeping more than usual

In this episode, we discussed ways to optimize brain health regardless of whether or not you've experienced a brain injury:

  1. Nutrition: Eating macronutrients, foods with fiber (i.e. fruits and veggies), and Omega-3 (i.e. fish, flaxseed, fish oil)
  2. Movement: You don't need to be doing PT like you were 19 all over again. Focus on keeping the blood moving in your body. Walk your dog - Fido will love you for it!
  3. Social interaction: Get quality social interactions where you feel that people know you. Church groups, VFW/American Legion, or other interest groups.
  4. Sleep: You have to recharge the battery.

Links & Resources

Transcript

View the transcript for this episode.

]]> 00:49:58 <![CDATA[PACT Act and Veteran Legal Resources]]> Tue, 22 Nov 2022 08:00:00 +0000 Scott DeLuzio https://permalink.castos.com/podcast/2296/episode/1284750 Joanna Morales discusses the PACT Act and other legal resources available to veterans who have been diagnosed with cancer and other illnesses.

Links & Resources

Transcript

View the transcript for this episode.

]]> full 230 false Joanna Morales discusses the PACT Act and other legal resources available to veterans who have been diagnosed with cancer and other illnesses.

Links & Resources

Transcript

View the transcript for this episode.

]]> 00:34:42 <![CDATA[How to Successfully Navigate Life After Deployment]]> Thu, 17 Nov 2022 08:00:00 +0000 Scott DeLuzio https://drive-on-podcast.castos.com/podcasts/2296/episodes/how-to-successfully-navigate-life-after-deployment Dominic Teich shares insights into what he refers to as the Single Seat Mindset and how he navigated his turbulent life after deployment.

Dominic will send a free copy of Single Seat Wisdom for the first three listeners with no strings attached. Claim your copy here today!

Links & Resources

Transcript

View the transcript for this episode.

]]> full 229 false Dominic Teich shares insights into what he refers to as the Single Seat Mindset and how he navigated his turbulent life after deployment.

Dominic will send a free copy of Single Seat Wisdom for the first three listeners with no strings attached. Claim your copy here today!

Links & Resources

Transcript

View the transcript for this episode.

]]> 00:48:14 <![CDATA[Living the Hand You're Dealt]]> Tue, 15 Nov 2022 08:00:00 +0000 Scott DeLuzio https://drive-on-podcast.castos.com/podcasts/2296/episodes/living-the-hand-youre-dealt Charles Smith, an Army veteran, shares his traumatic childhood and how those experiences impacted him as an adult.

Links & Resources

Transcript

View the transcript for this episode.

]]> full 228 false Charles Smith, an Army veteran, shares his traumatic childhood and how those experiences impacted him as an adult.

Links & Resources

Transcript

View the transcript for this episode.

]]> 00:34:35 <![CDATA[Cranky Veteran Candles]]> Thu, 10 Nov 2022 08:00:00 +0000 Scott DeLuzio https://drive-on-podcast.castos.com/podcasts/2296/episodes/cranky-veteran-candles Ryan & Deb Bruin started the Cranky Veteran Candle Company to help Ryan find a job he could do while managing his mental health struggles. They join us to discuss the ups and downs that they experienced after Ryan left the military and how they started making candles.

Links & Resources

Transcript

View the transcript for this episode.

]]> full 227 false Ryan & Deb Bruin started the Cranky Veteran Candle Company to help Ryan find a job he could do while managing his mental health struggles. They join us to discuss the ups and downs that they experienced after Ryan left the military and how they started making candles.

Links & Resources

Transcript

View the transcript for this episode.

]]> 00:45:17 <![CDATA[Childhood Trauma and Beliefs as Key to Your Healing Now]]> Tue, 08 Nov 2022 08:00:00 +0000 Scott DeLuzio https://drive-on-podcast.castos.com/podcasts/2296/episodes/childhood-trauma-and-beliefs-as-key-to-your-healing-now Do you ever ask yourself, "Why am I doing this again"? The childhood vows you made as the result of powerful personal experiences during your pre-logical young life govern you as an adult until you explore and address each of these decisions.

Army veteran Kathi Sohn shares how childhood trauma can appear unexpectedly when dealing with trauma later on in life.

The Body Memory Process is a refreshing shift away from the popular temptation to blame adult limitations and failures on our parents and society by putting the power and process to change in your hands!

Links & Resources

Transcript

View the transcript for this episode.

]]> full 226 false Do you ever ask yourself, "Why am I doing this again"? The childhood vows you made as the result of powerful personal experiences during your pre-logical young life govern you as an adult until you explore and address each of these decisions.

Army veteran Kathi Sohn shares how childhood trauma can appear unexpectedly when dealing with trauma later on in life.

The Body Memory Process is a refreshing shift away from the popular temptation to blame adult limitations and failures on our parents and society by putting the power and process to change in your hands!

Links & Resources

Transcript

View the transcript for this episode.

]]> 00:48:53 <![CDATA[Ups and Downs of Entrepreneurship After The Military]]> Thu, 03 Nov 2022 08:00:00 +0000 Scott DeLuzio https://drive-on-podcast.castos.com/podcasts/2296/episodes/ups-and-downs-of-entrepreneurship-after-the-military Dustin Hayes, the owner of Red White and Badass Brew, discusses the ups and downs of becoming an entrepreneur after the military.

After several setbacks, Dustin found that working for himself, while a lot of work, has tremendous benefits. He discusses those benefits and the path that led him to create Red White and Badass Brew.

Links & Resources

Transcript

View the transcript for this episode.

]]> full 225 false Dustin Hayes, the owner of Red White and Badass Brew, discusses the ups and downs of becoming an entrepreneur after the military.

After several setbacks, Dustin found that working for himself, while a lot of work, has tremendous benefits. He discusses those benefits and the path that led him to create Red White and Badass Brew.

Links & Resources

Transcript

View the transcript for this episode.

]]> 00:58:12 <![CDATA[Epilepsy Awareness]]> Tue, 01 Nov 2022 08:00:00 +0000 Scott DeLuzio https://permalink.castos.com/podcast/2296/episode/1288064 My wife, Vicki DeLuzio, joins the podcast to discuss how epilepsy and how it affects those who, like her, have developed it later in life.

In this episode, we talk about:

  • What epilepsy is and its possible causes.
  • How and why epilepsy affects veterans at a higher rate than civilians.
  • Limitations those with epilepsy may face.
  • How epilepsy is treated.
  • What you should do if someone around you is having a seizure.
  • The role of service dogs in helping those with epilepsy.

Links & Resources

Transcript

View the transcript for this episode.

]]> full 224 false My wife, Vicki DeLuzio, joins the podcast to discuss how epilepsy and how it affects those who, like her, have developed it later in life.

In this episode, we talk about:

  • What epilepsy is and its possible causes.
  • How and why epilepsy affects veterans at a higher rate than civilians.
  • Limitations those with epilepsy may face.
  • How epilepsy is treated.
  • What you should do if someone around you is having a seizure.
  • The role of service dogs in helping those with epilepsy.

Links & Resources

Transcript

View the transcript for this episode.

]]> 00:42:55 <![CDATA[How Holistic Medicine Can Treat What The VA Can't]]> Thu, 27 Oct 2022 08:00:00 +0000 Scott DeLuzio https://drive-on-podcast.castos.com/podcasts/2296/episodes/how-holistic-medicine-can-treat-what-the-va-cant Dr. Erica Steele discusses how her work in holistic medicine helps veterans fill in the gaps that the VA leaves in their health care.

Links & Resources

Transcript

View the transcript for this episode.

]]> full 223 false Dr. Erica Steele discusses how her work in holistic medicine helps veterans fill in the gaps that the VA leaves in their health care.

Links & Resources

Transcript

View the transcript for this episode.

]]> 00:34:17 <![CDATA[WP Connects]]> Tue, 25 Oct 2022 08:00:00 +0000 Scott DeLuzio https://drive-on-podcast.castos.com/podcasts/2296/episodes/wp-connects Talisha Lewallen discusses how veterans and transitioning service members can get started in the WordPress industry through WP Connects.

For listeners unfamiliar with WordPress, it is a website management system that currently powers nearly half of the websites on the internet. It can be used for everything from running a simple personal or business site, blogging, e-commerce, podcasting, and so much more. Jobs in the WordPress industry include software developers, graphic designers, SEO, project managers, content writers, and just about anything else you can think of that goes into running a website.

Links & Resources

Transcript

View the transcript for this episode.

]]> full 222 false Talisha Lewallen discusses how veterans and transitioning service members can get started in the WordPress industry through WP Connects.

For listeners unfamiliar with WordPress, it is a website management system that currently powers nearly half of the websites on the internet. It can be used for everything from running a simple personal or business site, blogging, e-commerce, podcasting, and so much more. Jobs in the WordPress industry include software developers, graphic designers, SEO, project managers, content writers, and just about anything else you can think of that goes into running a website.

Links & Resources

Transcript

View the transcript for this episode.

]]> 00:45:18 <![CDATA[How To Stop Self-Sabotage]]> Thu, 20 Oct 2022 08:00:00 +0000 Scott DeLuzio https://drive-on-podcast.castos.com/podcasts/2296/episodes/how-to-stop-self-sabotage Update: Dr. Farkas passed away on August 31, 2022, just about a month after we recorded this episode. For his obituary and to find out where to make memorial contributions, please click here.

Dr. Howard Farkas is a clinical psychologist based in Chicago. He is the founder and president of Chicago Behavioral Health, which in the past two years has become a telehealth psychotherapy practice called Equipoise Teletherapy. He is also on the faculty of Northwestern University's Feinberg School of Medicine, where he teaches a course on motivation and self-regulation of behavior. He's the author of the book 8 Keys to End Emotional Eating.

Howard is currently working on a second book on the topic of self-sabotage: why we do it and how to stop. He defines self-sabotage as any behavior that we do that undermines our goals or values, even though part of us knows we'll regret it. That unwanted behavior can range from common things like procrastination and overspending to excessive drinking, risky health behaviors, or worse.

Howard's work with self-sabotage began while working as a health psychologist in a hospital-based medical weight-management program. He worked with many people who came to the clinic for help with their out-of-control eating, but they repeatedly undermined their own attempts to make changes. He discovered that there was an internal conflict that was the source of these self-defeating behaviors and that this conflict extends to many types of self-sabotaging behavior, such as career success, personal relationships, health, financial security, and many other areas of life where we set goals for ourselves and then undermine them.

Links & Resources

Transcript

View the transcript for this episode.

]]> full 221 false Update: Dr. Farkas passed away on August 31, 2022, just about a month after we recorded this episode. For his obituary and to find out where to make memorial contributions, please click here.

Dr. Howard Farkas is a clinical psychologist based in Chicago. He is the founder and president of Chicago Behavioral Health, which in the past two years has become a telehealth psychotherapy practice called Equipoise Teletherapy. He is also on the faculty of Northwestern University's Feinberg School of Medicine, where he teaches a course on motivation and self-regulation of behavior. He's the author of the book 8 Keys to End Emotional Eating.

Howard is currently working on a second book on the topic of self-sabotage: why we do it and how to stop. He defines self-sabotage as any behavior that we do that undermines our goals or values, even though part of us knows we'll regret it. That unwanted behavior can range from common things like procrastination and overspending to excessive drinking, risky health behaviors, or worse.

Howard's work with self-sabotage began while working as a health psychologist in a hospital-based medical weight-management program. He worked with many people who came to the clinic for help with their out-of-control eating, but they repeatedly undermined their own attempts to make changes. He discovered that there was an internal conflict that was the source of these self-defeating behaviors and that this conflict extends to many types of self-sabotaging behavior, such as career success, personal relationships, health, financial security, and many other areas of life where we set goals for ourselves and then undermine them.

Links & Resources

Transcript

View the transcript for this episode.

]]> 00:43:25 <![CDATA[Air Force Vet and Gold Star Wife Discusses Life After Loss]]> Tue, 18 Oct 2022 08:00:00 +0000 Scott DeLuzio https://drive-on-podcast.castos.com/podcasts/2296/episodes/air-force-vet-and-gold-star-wife-discusses-life-afte3yp Natalee King discusses her time in the Air Force and how her husband died while serving in the Air Force and how that loss impacted her.

Links & Resources

Transcript

View the transcript for this episode.

]]> full 220 false Natalee King discusses her time in the Air Force and how her husband died while serving in the Air Force and how that loss impacted her.

Links & Resources

Transcript

View the transcript for this episode.

]]> 00:48:49 <![CDATA[Veteran Help Point]]> Thu, 13 Oct 2022 08:00:00 +0000 Scott DeLuzio https://drive-on-podcast.castos.com/podcasts/2296/episodes/veteran-help-point Michelle Lang started Veteran Help Point, an online database of vetted and trusted resources available to the veteran community. She started Veteran Help Point after struggling to find resources for her husband after transitioning out of the military.

Links & Resources

Transcript

View the transcript for this episode.

]]> full 219 false Michelle Lang started Veteran Help Point, an online database of vetted and trusted resources available to the veteran community. She started Veteran Help Point after struggling to find resources for her husband after transitioning out of the military.

Links & Resources

Transcript

View the transcript for this episode.

]]> 00:37:16 <![CDATA[Defining Moral Injury]]> Tue, 11 Oct 2022 08:58:00 +0000 Scott DeLuzio https://drive-on-podcast.castos.com/podcasts/2296/episodes/defining-moral-injury Dr. Timothy Shaw discusses his research into moral injury, how it impacts the lives of veterans, and what we can do to help. We dive into the veteran suicide crisis, and what role moral injuries play in that. We can do things as a society to help reduce the impact of moral injuries. We discuss some of those things and more in this episode.

Links & Resources

Transcript

View the transcript for this episode.

]]> full 218 false Dr. Timothy Shaw discusses his research into moral injury, how it impacts the lives of veterans, and what we can do to help. We dive into the veteran suicide crisis, and what role moral injuries play in that. We can do things as a society to help reduce the impact of moral injuries. We discuss some of those things and more in this episode.

Links & Resources

Transcript

View the transcript for this episode.

]]> 00:41:40 <![CDATA[Finding Your Passion After Military Service]]> Thu, 06 Oct 2022 08:00:00 +0000 Scott DeLuzio https://permalink.castos.com/podcast/2296/episode/1520739 USMC veteran, David Richards, discusses how he followed his passion for writing after leaving the military and how you can find your purpose at other stages in life.

Links & Resources

Transcript

View the transcript for this episode.

]]> full 217 false USMC veteran, David Richards, discusses how he followed his passion for writing after leaving the military and how you can find your purpose at other stages in life.

Links & Resources

Transcript

View the transcript for this episode.

]]> 00:42:19 <![CDATA[Starting Conversations About Mental Health]]> Tue, 04 Oct 2022 08:00:00 +0000 Scott DeLuzio https://drive-on-podcast.castos.com/podcasts/2296/episodes/starting-conversations-about-mental-health Topics like mental health and suicide are often avoided because they make people uncomfortable. But if we avoid them, they won't get better.

Guest, Sonja Wasden joins the podcast to discuss her suicide attempt and how we can help each other by being vulnerable and starting to have those "uncomfortable" conversations.

Links & Resources

Transcript

View the transcript for this episode.

]]> full 216 false Topics like mental health and suicide are often avoided because they make people uncomfortable. But if we avoid them, they won't get better.

Guest, Sonja Wasden joins the podcast to discuss her suicide attempt and how we can help each other by being vulnerable and starting to have those "uncomfortable" conversations.

Links & Resources

Transcript

View the transcript for this episode.

]]> 00:40:17 <![CDATA[Alcoholism and How it Affects Those Around You]]> Thu, 29 Sep 2022 08:00:00 +0000 Scott DeLuzio https://drive-on-podcast.castos.com/podcasts/2296/episodes/alcoholism-and-how-it-affects-those-around-you Andrew Culkin discusses how he lost his wife of 25 years to alcoholism, how that experience affected his family, and how we can prevent that from happening in other families.

Links & Resources

Transcript

View the transcript for this episode.

]]> full 215 false Andrew Culkin discusses how he lost his wife of 25 years to alcoholism, how that experience affected his family, and how we can prevent that from happening in other families.

Links & Resources

Transcript

View the transcript for this episode.

]]> 00:34:03 <![CDATA[Bomb Tech Mindset]]> Tue, 27 Sep 2022 08:00:00 +0000 Scott DeLuzio https://drive-on-podcast.castos.com/podcasts/2296/episodes/bomb-tech-mindset Brian Muka is a former Navy bomb tech, who discovered ways to shift his mindset from negative self-talk to form more positive outcomes.

Links & Resources

Transcript

View the transcript for this episode.

]]> full 214 false Brian Muka is a former Navy bomb tech, who discovered ways to shift his mindset from negative self-talk to form more positive outcomes.

Links & Resources

Transcript

View the transcript for this episode.

]]> 00:51:56 <![CDATA[Life Skills For Soldiers]]> Thu, 22 Sep 2022 08:00:00 +0000 Scott DeLuzio https://drive-on-podcast.castos.com/podcasts/2296/episodes/life-skills-for-soldiers Brendan Duebner is the founder of Life Skills for Soldiers, whose mission is to improve financial literacy among US service members.

Links & Resources

Transcript

View the transcript for this episode.

]]> full 213 false Brendan Duebner is the founder of Life Skills for Soldiers, whose mission is to improve financial literacy among US service members.

Links & Resources

Transcript

View the transcript for this episode.

]]> 00:28:00 <![CDATA[Recovering From Trauma on the Police Force]]> Tue, 20 Sep 2022 08:00:00 +0000 Scott DeLuzio https://drive-on-podcast.castos.com/podcasts/2296/episodes/recovering-from-trauma-on-the-police-force Keith Harrison, a Canadian police officer, joins us to describe his process of recovering from the trauma he endured for years on the police force.

Links & Resources

Transcript

View the transcript for this episode.

]]> full 212 false Keith Harrison, a Canadian police officer, joins us to describe his process of recovering from the trauma he endured for years on the police force.

Links & Resources

Transcript

View the transcript for this episode.

]]> 00:46:46 <![CDATA[How to Take a Break From Alcohol]]> Thu, 15 Sep 2022 08:00:00 +0000 Scott DeLuzio https://drive-on-podcast.castos.com/podcasts/2296/episodes/how-to-take-a-break-from-alcohol Kirsten Chalmers is a psychologist and the founder of Point Zero Cellars, where she works to raise awareness for those looking to take a break from alcohol. While her company is based out of Australia, and the majority of our listeners are in the US, in my opinion, the message she has knows no borders.

Links & Resources

Transcript

View the transcript for this episode.

]]> full 211 false Kirsten Chalmers is a psychologist and the founder of Point Zero Cellars, where she works to raise awareness for those looking to take a break from alcohol. While her company is based out of Australia, and the majority of our listeners are in the US, in my opinion, the message she has knows no borders.

Links & Resources

Transcript

View the transcript for this episode.

]]> 00:44:26 <![CDATA[Prevention Over Prescription]]> Tue, 13 Sep 2022 08:00:00 +0000 Scott DeLuzio https://drive-on-podcast.castos.com/podcasts/2296/episodes/prevention-over-prescription Dr. Thomas Hemingway MD is a holistic and integrative Medical Doctor who lives and shares his personal and professional philosophy of PREVENTION over PRESCRIPTION and is passionate about sharing the message of Natural Health and Healing through Powerful Practices which are simple, doable, AND can be LIFE-SAVING. He has the goal of saving 100 million lives by optimizing health and wellness through natural means. He has recently written a book, "PREVENTABLE! 5 Powerful Practices to Avoid Disease and Build Unshakeable Health" which is due out this year. He also loves sharing this message in his top-rated health podcast "Modern Medicine Movement" where he is known for distilling down the latest medical knowledge and science into easily digestible and actionable steps which can change our lives in the present AND the future.

Links & Resources

Transcript

View the transcript for this episode.

]]> full 210 false Dr. Thomas Hemingway MD is a holistic and integrative Medical Doctor who lives and shares his personal and professional philosophy of PREVENTION over PRESCRIPTION and is passionate about sharing the message of Natural Health and Healing through Powerful Practices which are simple, doable, AND can be LIFE-SAVING. He has the goal of saving 100 million lives by optimizing health and wellness through natural means. He has recently written a book, "PREVENTABLE! 5 Powerful Practices to Avoid Disease and Build Unshakeable Health" which is due out this year. He also loves sharing this message in his top-rated health podcast "Modern Medicine Movement" where he is known for distilling down the latest medical knowledge and science into easily digestible and actionable steps which can change our lives in the present AND the future.

Links & Resources

Transcript

View the transcript for this episode.

]]> 00:48:41 <![CDATA[Healing Family Trauma]]> Thu, 08 Sep 2022 08:00:00 +0000 Scott DeLuzio https://drive-on-podcast.castos.com/podcasts/2296/episodes/healing-family-trauma Dr. Kelly Bohnhoff joins the podcast to talk about healing family trauma.

Often times in the military we experience traumatic events. That's a part of the job, which I think most of us understand. However, when we don't deal with those traumatic events properly, they can seep into our family lives affecting our spouses, children, and other family members.

Dr. Bohnhoff has written the book "Beyond Trauma Drama: Cultivating the Sacred Nature of Families to Heal" and is here to discuss how we can begin healing our families.

Links & Resources

Transcript

View the transcript for this episode.

]]> full 209 false Dr. Kelly Bohnhoff joins the podcast to talk about healing family trauma.

Often times in the military we experience traumatic events. That's a part of the job, which I think most of us understand. However, when we don't deal with those traumatic events properly, they can seep into our family lives affecting our spouses, children, and other family members.

Dr. Bohnhoff has written the book "Beyond Trauma Drama: Cultivating the Sacred Nature of Families to Heal" and is here to discuss how we can begin healing our families.

Links & Resources

Transcript

View the transcript for this episode.

]]> 00:44:26 <![CDATA[The Veterans Ranch]]> Tue, 06 Sep 2022 08:00:00 +0000 Scott DeLuzio https://drive-on-podcast.castos.com/podcasts/2296/episodes/the-veterans-ranch J.R. Smith is the vice president of The Veterans Ranch, which works to assist veterans and their families through equine therapy.

In this episode, J.R. talks about how horses are able to help veterans learn how to deal with their emotions and focus on the present moment.

Links & Resources

Transcript

View the transcript for this episode.

]]> full 208 false J.R. Smith is the vice president of The Veterans Ranch, which works to assist veterans and their families through equine therapy.

In this episode, J.R. talks about how horses are able to help veterans learn how to deal with their emotions and focus on the present moment.

Links & Resources

Transcript

View the transcript for this episode.

]]> 00:38:03 <![CDATA[Be Bold. Be First. Be You.]]> Thu, 01 Sep 2022 08:00:00 +0000 Scott DeLuzio https://drive-on-podcast.castos.com/podcasts/2296/episodes/be-bold-be-first-be-you Captain Martha LaGuardia-Kotite's bold leadership style empowered her to be one of the first female officers to serve aboard two Coast Guard cutters with all-male crews and lead teams during numerous disasters for 29 years at sea and ashore.

A TEDx speaker and coach, Martha is an award-winning author of five books including the award-winning So Others May Live: Coast Guard Rescue Swimmers Saving Lives, Defying Death and the acclaimed Changing the Rules of Engagement a collection of inspirational stories those in business or wanting to achieve a dream about women who changed the culture of the military and achieved their bigger dreams. She is writing her debut novel.

Links & Resources

Transcript

View the transcript for this episode.

]]> full 207 false Captain Martha LaGuardia-Kotite's bold leadership style empowered her to be one of the first female officers to serve aboard two Coast Guard cutters with all-male crews and lead teams during numerous disasters for 29 years at sea and ashore.

A TEDx speaker and coach, Martha is an award-winning author of five books including the award-winning So Others May Live: Coast Guard Rescue Swimmers Saving Lives, Defying Death and the acclaimed Changing the Rules of Engagement a collection of inspirational stories those in business or wanting to achieve a dream about women who changed the culture of the military and achieved their bigger dreams. She is writing her debut novel.

Links & Resources

Transcript

View the transcript for this episode.

]]> 00:45:44 <![CDATA[Veteran Readjustment Culture]]> Tue, 30 Aug 2022 08:00:00 +0000 Scott DeLuzio https://drive-on-podcast.castos.com/podcasts/2296/episodes/veteran-readjustment-culture Mike Kim is a psychoanalyst/ex-monk, research writer, and retired Veterans Affairs Vet Center site director. His research at Columbia University developing his original theory of "Veteran Readjustment Culture" has recently been presented at the University of North Texas. Mike's work he has advocated for vets and their families since the early 1990's. He has over 20,000 clinical hours in war trauma therapy. He first joined the military in 1986 and has intermittently served since 2009. He is a graduate of Norwich Military College of Vermont, Yale University, and the Harvard Program in Refugee Trauma. Google "Mike Kim Veteran" to have access to Mike's articles, academic presentations, other media info, etc. He will also be podcasting with Coming Home Well.

Links & Resources

Transcript

View the transcript for this episode.

]]> full 206 false Mike Kim is a psychoanalyst/ex-monk, research writer, and retired Veterans Affairs Vet Center site director. His research at Columbia University developing his original theory of "Veteran Readjustment Culture" has recently been presented at the University of North Texas. Mike's work he has advocated for vets and their families since the early 1990's. He has over 20,000 clinical hours in war trauma therapy. He first joined the military in 1986 and has intermittently served since 2009. He is a graduate of Norwich Military College of Vermont, Yale University, and the Harvard Program in Refugee Trauma. Google "Mike Kim Veteran" to have access to Mike's articles, academic presentations, other media info, etc. He will also be podcasting with Coming Home Well.

Links & Resources

Transcript

View the transcript for this episode.

]]> 00:47:10 <![CDATA[Millennial Veterans]]> Thu, 25 Aug 2022 08:00:00 +0000 Scott DeLuzio https://drive-on-podcast.castos.com/podcasts/2296/episodes/millennial-veterans Jenna Carlton is a Navy veteran who started the Facebook Group, The Millennial Veterans, where younger veterans can share issues facing them.

You can find Jenna weekly on Sundays at 9 PM Eastern on her Instagram Live series, Vet Chats. Check out the link to her Instagram below.

Links & Resources

Transcript

View the transcript for this episode.

]]> full 205 false Jenna Carlton is a Navy veteran who started the Facebook Group, The Millennial Veterans, where younger veterans can share issues facing them.

You can find Jenna weekly on Sundays at 9 PM Eastern on her Instagram Live series, Vet Chats. Check out the link to her Instagram below.

Links & Resources

Transcript

View the transcript for this episode.

]]> 00:26:16 <![CDATA[Making Connections to Help Navigate Difficult Times]]> Tue, 23 Aug 2022 08:00:00 +0000 Scott DeLuzio https://drive-on-podcast.castos.com/podcasts/2296/episodes/making-connections-to-help-navigate-difficult-times Rear Admiral Tim Gallaudet discusses the highs and lows he's experienced in his personal and professional life, and how he was able to lean on others to help support him through difficult times.

Links & Resources

Transcript

View the transcript for this episode.

]]> full 204 false Rear Admiral Tim Gallaudet discusses the highs and lows he's experienced in his personal and professional life, and how he was able to lean on others to help support him through difficult times.

Links & Resources

Transcript

View the transcript for this episode.

]]> 00:41:10 <![CDATA[Successful Career Transition After The Military]]> Thu, 18 Aug 2022 08:00:00 +0000 Scott DeLuzio https://drive-on-podcast.castos.com/podcasts/2296/episodes/successful-career-transition-after-the-military Brandi Saunders talks about her time in the Air Force, her deployments in support of OEF and OIF, and how she successfully transitioned into a new career after leaving the military.

During her time in the military, Brandi served as a Critical Care Medical Technician. After leaving the military, she now works as a CPA at a national accounting firm. She is also helping work to ensure that other veterans have the same opportunities that she had by helping create a pipeline for recent veterans to transition into the accounting profession.

Links & Resources

Transcript

View the transcript for this episode.

]]> full 203 false Brandi Saunders talks about her time in the Air Force, her deployments in support of OEF and OIF, and how she successfully transitioned into a new career after leaving the military.

During her time in the military, Brandi served as a Critical Care Medical Technician. After leaving the military, she now works as a CPA at a national accounting firm. She is also helping work to ensure that other veterans have the same opportunities that she had by helping create a pipeline for recent veterans to transition into the accounting profession.

Links & Resources

Transcript

View the transcript for this episode.

]]> 00:54:32 <![CDATA[Creating Your Future Through Forgiveness]]> Tue, 16 Aug 2022 08:00:00 +0000 Scott DeLuzio https://drive-on-podcast.castos.com/podcasts/2296/episodes/creating-your-future-through-forgiveness Mike Liguori discusses how he dealt with his PTSD and a troubled relationship with his father. He learned to put the past behind him and focus on the road ahead.

He is the author of the book The Road Ahead and Miles Behind, where he outlines the journey he took with his father. That journey brought them closer together and ultimately healed their relationship.

Links & Resources

Transcript

View the transcript for this episode.

]]> full 202 false Mike Liguori discusses how he dealt with his PTSD and a troubled relationship with his father. He learned to put the past behind him and focus on the road ahead.

He is the author of the book The Road Ahead and Miles Behind, where he outlines the journey he took with his father. That journey brought them closer together and ultimately healed their relationship.

Links & Resources

Transcript

View the transcript for this episode.

]]> 00:50:34 <![CDATA[Developing Resilient Warriors]]> Thu, 11 Aug 2022 08:00:00 +0000 Scott DeLuzio https://drive-on-podcast.castos.com/podcasts/2296/episodes/developing-resilient-warriors Brent Magnussen is a US Army veteran who served as a combat engineer. He is also a best-selling author, speaker, and sits on the board of the Resilient Warrior Foundation, which serves veterans and first responders who suffer from PTSD.

Links & Resources

Transcript

View the transcript for this episode.

]]> full 201 false Brent Magnussen is a US Army veteran who served as a combat engineer. He is also a best-selling author, speaker, and sits on the board of the Resilient Warrior Foundation, which serves veterans and first responders who suffer from PTSD.

Links & Resources

Transcript

View the transcript for this episode.

]]> 00:46:17 <![CDATA[Combat Control Foundation]]> Tue, 09 Aug 2022 08:00:00 +0000 Scott DeLuzio https://drive-on-podcast.castos.com/podcasts/2296/episodes/combat-control-foundation Mike Lamonica is an Air Force veteran who serves on the Combat Control Foundation's Board of Directors. The Combat Control Foundation provides care and support to Combat Controllers, their families, and other members of the military community through its programs, or through partnerships with similar charitable organizations.

Links & Resources

Transcript

View the transcript for this episode.

]]> full 200 false Mike Lamonica is an Air Force veteran who serves on the Combat Control Foundation's Board of Directors. The Combat Control Foundation provides care and support to Combat Controllers, their families, and other members of the military community through its programs, or through partnerships with similar charitable organizations.

Links & Resources

Transcript

View the transcript for this episode.

]]> 00:34:26 <![CDATA[Helping Others Through Faith And Sharing Stories]]> Thu, 04 Aug 2022 08:00:00 +0000 Scott DeLuzio https://drive-on-podcast.castos.com/podcasts/2296/episodes/helping-others-through-faith-and-sharing-stories Ashlee Leppert returns to the podcast to open up and share her healing journey after her career in the Coast Guard.

In this episode, we talk about the Coast Guard's work to help keep Americans safe at home. Everything from boating accidents and natural disasters to drug enforcement. Ashlee has participated in all of it during her career. This work made it even more critical for her to find effective ways to cope with the traumatic events that she encountered during her time in the Coast Guard.

Ashlee shares how her faith helped guide her through difficult times and how writing her book, The Hurricane Within, was not only therapeutic for her, but she also hopes it will help serve others who read it.

Links & Resources

Transcript

View the transcript for this episode.

]]> full 199 false Ashlee Leppert returns to the podcast to open up and share her healing journey after her career in the Coast Guard.

In this episode, we talk about the Coast Guard's work to help keep Americans safe at home. Everything from boating accidents and natural disasters to drug enforcement. Ashlee has participated in all of it during her career. This work made it even more critical for her to find effective ways to cope with the traumatic events that she encountered during her time in the Coast Guard.

Ashlee shares how her faith helped guide her through difficult times and how writing her book, The Hurricane Within, was not only therapeutic for her, but she also hopes it will help serve others who read it.

Links & Resources

Transcript

View the transcript for this episode.

]]> 00:34:04 <![CDATA[Gold Star Ride Foundation]]> Tue, 02 Aug 2022 08:00:00 +0000 Scott DeLuzio https://drive-on-podcast.castos.com/podcasts/2296/episodes/gold-star-ride-foundation Anthony Price is with the Gold Star Ride Foundation, whose mission is to actively support, comfort, and do the work that our fallen heroes would do if they hadn't fallen for all our freedom.

Links & Resources

Transcript

View the transcript for this episode.

]]> full 198 false Anthony Price is with the Gold Star Ride Foundation, whose mission is to actively support, comfort, and do the work that our fallen heroes would do if they hadn't fallen for all our freedom.

Links & Resources

Transcript

View the transcript for this episode.

]]> 00:51:34 <![CDATA[Harness the Fire Within: How to Get Up Every Time Life Knocks You Down]]> Thu, 28 Jul 2022 08:00:00 +0000 Scott DeLuzio https://drive-on-podcast.castos.com/podcasts/2296/episodes/harness-the-fire-within-how-to-get-up-every-time-lilln Ellie Shefi discusses ways to help military family members hold down the home front while their spouses are deployed by providing easy-to-implement tools for resiliency and self-care.

Links & Resources

Transcript

View the transcript for this episode.

]]> full 197 false Ellie Shefi discusses ways to help military family members hold down the home front while their spouses are deployed by providing easy-to-implement tools for resiliency and self-care.

Links & Resources

Transcript

View the transcript for this episode.

]]> 00:51:51 <![CDATA[Rediscovering Yourself After Loss]]> Tue, 26 Jul 2022 08:00:00 +0000 Scott DeLuzio https://drive-on-podcast.castos.com/podcasts/2296/episodes/rediscovering-yourself-after-loss Sherry Walling, Ph.D., is a clinical psychologist, speaker, podcaster, and entrepreneur. Her life's work is helping high-achieving people navigate painful and complex experiences. Her podcast, ZenFounder, has been called a "must listen" by both Forbes and Entrepreneur magazines and has been downloaded more than one million times.

In this episode, Dr. Walling discusses her new book Touching Two Worlds and how we can rediscover ourselves after losing a loved one.

Links & Resources

Transcript

View the transcript for this episode.

]]> full 196 false Sherry Walling, Ph.D., is a clinical psychologist, speaker, podcaster, and entrepreneur. Her life's work is helping high-achieving people navigate painful and complex experiences. Her podcast, ZenFounder, has been called a "must listen" by both Forbes and Entrepreneur magazines and has been downloaded more than one million times.

In this episode, Dr. Walling discusses her new book Touching Two Worlds and how we can rediscover ourselves after losing a loved one.

Links & Resources

Transcript

View the transcript for this episode.

]]> 00:46:41 <![CDATA[Unleash the Power of Serving]]> Thu, 21 Jul 2022 08:25:00 +0000 Scott DeLuzio https://drive-on-podcast.castos.com/podcasts/2296/episodes/unleash-the-power-of-serving Most people believe serving others is a nice thing to do, but it doesn't really make much of a difference. David Crocker talks about how serving others not only makes our communities better places to live but also helps us get a handle on our own mental health.

Links & Resources

Transcript

View the transcript for this episode.

]]> full 195 false Most people believe serving others is a nice thing to do, but it doesn't really make much of a difference. David Crocker talks about how serving others not only makes our communities better places to live but also helps us get a handle on our own mental health.

Links & Resources

Transcript

View the transcript for this episode.

]]> 00:41:09 <![CDATA[Using Exercise to Manage Stress]]> Tue, 19 Jul 2022 08:00:00 +0000 Scott DeLuzio https://drive-on-podcast.castos.com/podcasts/2296/episodes/using-exercise-to-manage-stress Alecia Aguilar is a Navy veteran, who, while serving discovered how exercise helped manage her stress and anxiety. She also created the Awearness Athletics brand. She is here today to talk about her fitness journey and how it helped her overall physical and mental health.

Links & Resources

Transcript

View the transcript for this episode.

]]> full 194 false Alecia Aguilar is a Navy veteran, who, while serving discovered how exercise helped manage her stress and anxiety. She also created the Awearness Athletics brand. She is here today to talk about her fitness journey and how it helped her overall physical and mental health.

Links & Resources

Transcript

View the transcript for this episode.

]]> 00:37:19 <![CDATA[How to End Anxiety with Hypnotherapy]]> Thu, 14 Jul 2022 08:00:00 +0000 Scott DeLuzio https://drive-on-podcast.castos.com/podcasts/2296/episodes/how-to-end-anxiety-with-hypnotherapy For people who had a difficult childhood, half of what we think of as anxiety is often leftover emotional stress from what happened to us as a child. Mahesh Grossman explains how hypnotherapy can help with a wide variety of physical and emotional pain.

Links & Resources

Transcript

View the transcript for this episode.

]]> full 193 false For people who had a difficult childhood, half of what we think of as anxiety is often leftover emotional stress from what happened to us as a child. Mahesh Grossman explains how hypnotherapy can help with a wide variety of physical and emotional pain.

Links & Resources

Transcript

View the transcript for this episode.

]]> 00:41:11 <![CDATA[Creating Connection To Discuss Difficult Topics]]> Tue, 12 Jul 2022 08:00:00 +0000 Scott DeLuzio https://drive-on-podcast.castos.com/podcasts/2296/episodes/creating-connection-to-discuss-difficult-topics Dylan Sessler talks about how he works to create a connection with others in order to provide a safe space to discuss difficult topics.

Links & Resources

Transcript

View the transcript for this episode.

]]> full 192 false Dylan Sessler talks about how he works to create a connection with others in order to provide a safe space to discuss difficult topics.

Links & Resources

Transcript

View the transcript for this episode.

]]> 00:51:51 <![CDATA[How to Add Quality Years To Your Life]]> Thu, 07 Jul 2022 08:00:00 +0000 Scott DeLuzio https://drive-on-podcast.castos.com/podcasts/2296/episodes/how-to-add-quality-years-to-your-life Karen Owoc is a Clinical Exercise Physiologist at the VA in Palo Alto California, a weekly health contributor to KRON-TV in the San Francisco Bay area, as well as the author of the book Athletes in Aprons: The Nutrition Playbook to Break 100.

Links & Resources

Transcript

View the transcript for this episode.

]]> full 191 false Karen Owoc is a Clinical Exercise Physiologist at the VA in Palo Alto California, a weekly health contributor to KRON-TV in the San Francisco Bay area, as well as the author of the book Athletes in Aprons: The Nutrition Playbook to Break 100.

Links & Resources

Transcript

View the transcript for this episode.

]]> 00:44:51 <![CDATA[Warrior Mindset: What it is, why it's important, and how to develop it]]> Tue, 05 Jul 2022 08:00:00 +0000 Scott DeLuzio https://drive-on-podcast.castos.com/podcasts/2296/episodes/warrior-mindset-what-it-is-why-its-important-anpde Mark is a former infantryman, intelligence professional, and licensed attorney. He has trained units from the DoD, DoJ, Fortune 500 companies, and officers from over 60 police departments around the country. He contributes to the Counter Terrorist Magazine and hosts the Pearl Snap Tactical Podcast. Today we're going to be talking about developing a warrior mindset.

Links & Resources

Transcript

View the transcript for this episode.

]]> full 190 false Mark is a former infantryman, intelligence professional, and licensed attorney. He has trained units from the DoD, DoJ, Fortune 500 companies, and officers from over 60 police departments around the country. He contributes to the Counter Terrorist Magazine and hosts the Pearl Snap Tactical Podcast. Today we're going to be talking about developing a warrior mindset.

Links & Resources

Transcript

View the transcript for this episode.

]]> 00:45:53 <![CDATA[Iron-Sharpened Leadership]]> Thu, 30 Jun 2022 08:00:00 +0000 Scott DeLuzio https://drive-on-podcast.castos.com/podcasts/2296/episodes/iron-sharpened-leadership Retired Major General John Gronski joins us to discuss how leaders can start putting the people in their charge first.

In this episode we discuss:

  • How leaders can be more effective in taking care of the troops they lead.
  • Characteristics of a good leader.
  • Toxic leadership traits.
  • Being vulnerable as a leader, and setting a good example.
  • Proverbs 27:17 As iron sharpens iron, so one person sharpens another.
  • EOD Marine Gunnery Sergeant Burghardt's "one-finger salute" and leadership lessons from walking off an IED blast.

Links & Resources

Transcript

View the transcript for this episode.

]]> full 189 false Retired Major General John Gronski joins us to discuss how leaders can start putting the people in their charge first.

In this episode we discuss:

  • How leaders can be more effective in taking care of the troops they lead.
  • Characteristics of a good leader.
  • Toxic leadership traits.
  • Being vulnerable as a leader, and setting a good example.
  • Proverbs 27:17 As iron sharpens iron, so one person sharpens another.
  • EOD Marine Gunnery Sergeant Burghardt's "one-finger salute" and leadership lessons from walking off an IED blast.

Links & Resources

Transcript

View the transcript for this episode.

]]> 00:58:40 <![CDATA[Camp Resilience]]> Tue, 28 Jun 2022 08:00:00 +0000 Scott DeLuzio https://drive-on-podcast.castos.com/podcasts/2296/episodes/camp-resilience Matt Dubois and Kurt Webber are from Camp Resilience, which helps service members, veterans, first responders, and their loved ones recover and maintain their physical, psychological, and emotional well-being.

Links & Resources

Transcript

View the transcript for this episode.

]]> full 188 false Matt Dubois and Kurt Webber are from Camp Resilience, which helps service members, veterans, first responders, and their loved ones recover and maintain their physical, psychological, and emotional well-being.

Links & Resources

Transcript

View the transcript for this episode.

]]> 00:47:26 <![CDATA[Creating a New Future for Retired Working Dogs]]> Thu, 23 Jun 2022 08:00:00 +0000 Scott DeLuzio https://drive-on-podcast.castos.com/podcasts/2296/episodes/creating-a-new-future-for-retired-working-dogs Bob Bryant is the chief technology officer of Mission K9 Rescue, an animal welfare group dedicated solely to rescuing, reuniting, rehoming, repairing, and rehabilitating American working dogs. Since 2013, the group has provided a wide array of services to working dogs in an effort to offer them a comfortable and peaceful retirement. Mission K9 focuses on retrieving dogs both from overseas and national shelter situations where they are suffering without proper care or medical attention.

Links & Resources

Transcript

View the transcript for this episode.

]]> full 187 false Bob Bryant is the chief technology officer of Mission K9 Rescue, an animal welfare group dedicated solely to rescuing, reuniting, rehoming, repairing, and rehabilitating American working dogs. Since 2013, the group has provided a wide array of services to working dogs in an effort to offer them a comfortable and peaceful retirement. Mission K9 focuses on retrieving dogs both from overseas and national shelter situations where they are suffering without proper care or medical attention.

Links & Resources

Transcript

View the transcript for this episode.

]]> 00:45:09 <![CDATA[Practical Advice for Living an Inspired Life]]> Tue, 21 Jun 2022 08:00:00 +0000 Scott DeLuzio https://drive-on-podcast.castos.com/podcasts/2296/episodes/practical-advice-for-living-an-inspired-life Shelly Slocum shares some practical advice, inspiration, and tips for how to apply more positivity in your life to brighten your days.

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Transcript

View the transcript for this episode.

]]> full 186 false Shelly Slocum shares some practical advice, inspiration, and tips for how to apply more positivity in your life to brighten your days.

Links & Resources

Transcript

View the transcript for this episode.

]]> 00:34:35 <![CDATA[How Trauma-Focused Yoga Helps Heal PTSD]]> Thu, 16 Jun 2022 08:00:00 +0000 Scott DeLuzio https://drive-on-podcast.castos.com/podcasts/2296/episodes/how-trauma-focused-yoga-helps-heal-ptsd Anissa Hudak's life has been intertwined with PTSD, Trauma, and the military. As the daughter of a Vietnam veteran, and military spouse to an OEF/OIF veteran, she saw the struggles others were having which inspired her to create the Trauma Healing Yoga Therapy Program. In this episode, we talk about the program and how it can help those who have suffered trauma in their lives.

Links & Resources

Transcript

View the transcript for this episode.

]]> full 185 false Anissa Hudak's life has been intertwined with PTSD, Trauma, and the military. As the daughter of a Vietnam veteran, and military spouse to an OEF/OIF veteran, she saw the struggles others were having which inspired her to create the Trauma Healing Yoga Therapy Program. In this episode, we talk about the program and how it can help those who have suffered trauma in their lives.

Links & Resources

Transcript

View the transcript for this episode.

]]> 00:34:20 <![CDATA[She Vets It: The Importance Of Finding Your Tribe]]> Tue, 14 Jun 2022 08:00:00 +0000 Scott DeLuzio https://drive-on-podcast.castos.com/podcasts/2296/episodes/she-vets-it-the-importance-of-finding-your-tribe Althea Williams is an Army veteran. She is also the founder of the group She Vets It, where women from all branches of the military come together in a safe space to connect, converse and collaborate. In this episode, she shares why it is important to find your tribe after the military.

Links & Resources

Transcript

View the transcript for this episode.

]]> full 184 false Althea Williams is an Army veteran. She is also the founder of the group She Vets It, where women from all branches of the military come together in a safe space to connect, converse and collaborate. In this episode, she shares why it is important to find your tribe after the military.

Links & Resources

Transcript

View the transcript for this episode.

]]> 01:08:40 <![CDATA[A New Way To Help Military Marriages Survive]]> Thu, 09 Jun 2022 08:00:00 +0000 Scott DeLuzio https://drive-on-podcast.castos.com/podcasts/2296/episodes/a-new-way-to-help-military-marriages-survive Veterans experience divorce at significantly higher rates than civilians. Often the challenge can be that people who serve get married young, leave home and come back a changed person - to find a changed spouse, too. While changes in your 20s are a natural part of maturing, they can trip you up and tear your relationship apart if you don't get a handle on them. Chris Shaver, The Couples Whisperer, will reveal a fast and inexpensive way to find out who you both are - and give you a shot at a marriage that lasts.

Links & Resources

Transcript

View the transcript for this episode.

]]> full 183 false Veterans experience divorce at significantly higher rates than civilians. Often the challenge can be that people who serve get married young, leave home and come back a changed person - to find a changed spouse, too. While changes in your 20s are a natural part of maturing, they can trip you up and tear your relationship apart if you don't get a handle on them. Chris Shaver, The Couples Whisperer, will reveal a fast and inexpensive way to find out who you both are - and give you a shot at a marriage that lasts.

Links & Resources

Transcript

View the transcript for this episode.

]]> 00:37:49 <![CDATA[The Secrets to Thriving in the Storms of Life]]> Tue, 07 Jun 2022 08:00:00 +0000 Scott DeLuzio https://drive-on-podcast.castos.com/podcasts/2296/episodes/the-secrets-to-thriving-in-the-storms-of-life Rod Knoerr is the author of the book Don't Waste This Storm. In the book, he discusses his secrets of perspective shift during the storms life sends your way and how it allows others to experience things they never could have imagined.

Links & Resources

Transcript

View the transcript for this episode.

]]> full 182 false Rod Knoerr is the author of the book Don't Waste This Storm. In the book, he discusses his secrets of perspective shift during the storms life sends your way and how it allows others to experience things they never could have imagined.

Links & Resources

Transcript

View the transcript for this episode.

]]> 00:50:01 <![CDATA[Ripple Effect of Helping People with Brass & Unity]]> Thu, 02 Jun 2022 08:00:00 +0000 Scott DeLuzio https://drive-on-podcast.castos.com/podcasts/2296/episodes/ripple-effect-of-helping-people-with-brass-unity Kelsi Sheren is the CEO of Brass & Unity and a strong supporter of military and mental health programs. In this episode, we chat about her time in the military, what caused her to transition out, and how she's dealt with her own PTSD and TBI.

Links & Resources

Transcript

View the transcript for this episode.

]]> full 181 false Kelsi Sheren is the CEO of Brass & Unity and a strong supporter of military and mental health programs. In this episode, we chat about her time in the military, what caused her to transition out, and how she's dealt with her own PTSD and TBI.

Links & Resources

Transcript

View the transcript for this episode.

]]> 00:56:07 <![CDATA[Burn Pit BBQ]]> Tue, 31 May 2022 08:00:00 +0000 Scott DeLuzio https://drive-on-podcast.castos.com/podcasts/2296/episodes/burn-pit-bbq Greg Fischer is a Marine combat veteran who currently runs Burn Pit BBQ, which was created to give new grillers and barbecuers a resource and place to go to learn the basics. In this episode, we talk about his journey from joining the USMC to becoming an entrepreneur.

Links & Resources

Transcript

View the transcript for this episode.

]]> full 180 false Greg Fischer is a Marine combat veteran who currently runs Burn Pit BBQ, which was created to give new grillers and barbecuers a resource and place to go to learn the basics. In this episode, we talk about his journey from joining the USMC to becoming an entrepreneur.

Links & Resources

Transcript

View the transcript for this episode.

]]> 00:42:02 <![CDATA[Treating Trauma By Rewiring Your Brain]]> Thu, 26 May 2022 08:00:00 +0000 Scott DeLuzio https://drive-on-podcast.castos.com/podcasts/2296/episodes/treating-trauma-by-rewiring-your-brain What if I told you that it could be possible to process the traumas you've experienced in as little as 4 hours? You might not believe it, but my guest, Dr. Don Wood says it is possible!

From the Inspired Performance Institute's website:

Unresolved trauma or disturbing events and experiences from your past may be interfering with your ability to function at your highest level. These experiences may limit your ability to regulate your mood, focus, or connect with others in a healthy, loving and safe way. A chronically dysregulated and imbalanced nervous system can lead to anxiety, depression, PTSD, panic attacks, addictions, or even chronic illnesses such as auto-immune disorders, thyroid problems, cardiac and gastrointestinal diseases, and even, cancer. TIPP, TIPP KIDS, and the NOWW program are designed to help reset the mind and restore the body to optimal states of health, performance, and wellness.

Links & Resources

Transcript

View the transcript for this episode.

]]> full 179 false What if I told you that it could be possible to process the traumas you've experienced in as little as 4 hours? You might not believe it, but my guest, Dr. Don Wood says it is possible!

From the Inspired Performance Institute's website:

Unresolved trauma or disturbing events and experiences from your past may be interfering with your ability to function at your highest level. These experiences may limit your ability to regulate your mood, focus, or connect with others in a healthy, loving and safe way. A chronically dysregulated and imbalanced nervous system can lead to anxiety, depression, PTSD, panic attacks, addictions, or even chronic illnesses such as auto-immune disorders, thyroid problems, cardiac and gastrointestinal diseases, and even, cancer. TIPP, TIPP KIDS, and the NOWW program are designed to help reset the mind and restore the body to optimal states of health, performance, and wellness.

Links & Resources

Transcript

View the transcript for this episode.

]]> 01:02:58 <![CDATA[How iRest Can Help Pain, Sleep, Depression, Anxiety, & PTSD]]> Tue, 24 May 2022 08:00:00 +0000 Scott DeLuzio https://drive-on-podcast.castos.com/podcasts/2296/episodes/how-irest-can-help-pain-sleep-depression-anxietynsz Returning guest, Jennifer Boileau, joins us to talk about how iRest meditation can help relieve pain, improve sleep, and reduce symptoms of depression, anxiety, and PTSD.

For anyone who wants to listen to just the iRest meditation portion of this episode, please check out the episode on our YouTube channel here.

Links & Resources

Transcript

View the transcript for this episode.

]]> full 178 false Returning guest, Jennifer Boileau, joins us to talk about how iRest meditation can help relieve pain, improve sleep, and reduce symptoms of depression, anxiety, and PTSD.

For anyone who wants to listen to just the iRest meditation portion of this episode, please check out the episode on our YouTube channel here.

Links & Resources

Transcript

View the transcript for this episode.

]]> 00:52:24 <![CDATA[Why You are Not Alone, should Seek Help & Choose Life]]> Thu, 19 May 2022 08:00:00 +0000 Scott DeLuzio https://drive-on-podcast.castos.com/podcasts/2296/episodes/why-you-are-not-alone-should-seek-help-choose-lifgzn Tom Spooner is an Army veteran who served nearly 21 years as a Green Beret and Delta Force Operator. Since retiring, he has successfully enabled thousands of warriors to acknowledge their struggles, seek treatment, and understand that they are not alone. He's dedicated his life to healing fellow warriors and started Warriors Heart as the first private addiction treatment center in the U.S. that is exclusively for military, veterans, and first responders.

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Transcript

View the transcript for this episode.

]]> full 177 false Tom Spooner is an Army veteran who served nearly 21 years as a Green Beret and Delta Force Operator. Since retiring, he has successfully enabled thousands of warriors to acknowledge their struggles, seek treatment, and understand that they are not alone. He's dedicated his life to healing fellow warriors and started Warriors Heart as the first private addiction treatment center in the U.S. that is exclusively for military, veterans, and first responders.

Links & Resources

Transcript

View the transcript for this episode.

]]> 00:56:39 <![CDATA[Action-Oriented - Rebuilding Lives After Trauma]]> Tue, 17 May 2022 08:00:00 +0000 Scott DeLuzio https://drive-on-podcast.castos.com/podcasts/2296/episodes/action-oriented-rebuilding-lives-after-trauma Jesse Simpson is a Marine veteran turned entrepreneur. Jesse runs a company called Action-Oriented, which helps people rebuild their life after trauma or transition. His journey is one with the theme that it is never too late to transform your life.

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Transcript

View the transcript for this episode.

]]> full 176 false Jesse Simpson is a Marine veteran turned entrepreneur. Jesse runs a company called Action-Oriented, which helps people rebuild their life after trauma or transition. His journey is one with the theme that it is never too late to transform your life.

Links & Resources

Transcript

View the transcript for this episode.

]]> 01:07:41 <![CDATA[Terror to Triumph]]> Thu, 12 May 2022 08:00:00 +0000 Scott DeLuzio https://drive-on-podcast.castos.com/podcasts/2296/episodes/terror-to-triumph Chris is a Marine veteran who has written the book Terror to Triumph. His book is a journey through the eyes of a Marine scout sniper in Ramadi, Iraq, in 2005. It continues through Fallujah, Iraq, in 2007, and finally finishes flying as a crew chief/door gunner through Helmand Province, Afghanistan.

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Transcript

View the transcript for this episode.

]]> full 175 false Chris is a Marine veteran who has written the book Terror to Triumph. His book is a journey through the eyes of a Marine scout sniper in Ramadi, Iraq, in 2005. It continues through Fallujah, Iraq, in 2007, and finally finishes flying as a crew chief/door gunner through Helmand Province, Afghanistan.

Links & Resources

Transcript

View the transcript for this episode.

]]> 00:52:43 <![CDATA[Military Transition Roundtable]]> Tue, 10 May 2022 08:00:00 +0000 Scott DeLuzio https://drive-on-podcast.castos.com/podcasts/2296/episodes/military-transition-roundtable Don Gleason is an Air Force veteran Colonel who led units of over 1600 people and was responsible for projects as large as the $12.8 billion Iraq reconstruction program. After getting out of the military he's had a successful civilian career and has since started a non-profit which helps military in transition.

Links & Resources

Transcript

View the transcript for this episode.

]]> full 174 false Don Gleason is an Air Force veteran Colonel who led units of over 1600 people and was responsible for projects as large as the $12.8 billion Iraq reconstruction program. After getting out of the military he's had a successful civilian career and has since started a non-profit which helps military in transition.

Links & Resources

Transcript

View the transcript for this episode.

]]> 01:02:44 <![CDATA[Facing Addiction Recovery Together]]> Thu, 05 May 2022 08:00:00 +0000 Scott DeLuzio https://drive-on-podcast.castos.com/podcasts/2296/episodes/facing-addiction-recovery-together Brandon Roman is an Army veteran who works with Face it Together, which is an addiction resource center that works to help get people with addiction and their loved ones well again.

Links & Resources

Transcript

View the transcript for this episode.

]]> full 173 false Brandon Roman is an Army veteran who works with Face it Together, which is an addiction resource center that works to help get people with addiction and their loved ones well again.

Links & Resources

Transcript

View the transcript for this episode.

]]> 00:45:53 <![CDATA[America's Warrior Partnership]]> Tue, 03 May 2022 08:00:00 +0000 Scott DeLuzio https://drive-on-podcast.castos.com/podcasts/2296/episodes/americas-warrior-partnership Joshua Wilson is a Marine veteran who now works for America's Warrior Partnership, whose mission is to partner with communities to prevent veteran suicide.

Links & Resources

Transcript

View the transcript for this episode.

]]> full 172 false Joshua Wilson is a Marine veteran who now works for America's Warrior Partnership, whose mission is to partner with communities to prevent veteran suicide.

Links & Resources

Transcript

View the transcript for this episode.

]]> 00:51:20 <![CDATA[How to Recover from Grief]]> Thu, 28 Apr 2022 08:00:00 +0000 Scott DeLuzio https://drive-on-podcast.castos.com/podcasts/2296/episodes/how-to-recover-from-grief Victoria Volk is the author of the book The Guided Heart. She is also a grief recovery specialist, and host of the Grieving Voices podcast. In this episode, we dive into the topic of grief and how you can recover from the grief you may be dealing with.

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Transcript

View the transcript for this episode.

]]> full 171 false Victoria Volk is the author of the book The Guided Heart. She is also a grief recovery specialist, and host of the Grieving Voices podcast. In this episode, we dive into the topic of grief and how you can recover from the grief you may be dealing with.

Links & Resources

Transcript

View the transcript for this episode.

]]> 00:56:10 <![CDATA[From Grief To Gold]]> Tue, 26 Apr 2022 08:00:00 +0000 Scott DeLuzio https://drive-on-podcast.castos.com/podcasts/2296/episodes/from-grief-to-gold Melissa Anne is an Army veteran, military spouse, and tragically, a Gold Star Wife. She is also the author of the book Darkness Within, which discusses her journey after the loss of her husband.

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Transcript

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]]> full 170 false Melissa Anne is an Army veteran, military spouse, and tragically, a Gold Star Wife. She is also the author of the book Darkness Within, which discusses her journey after the loss of her husband.

Links & Resources

Transcript

View the transcript for this episode.

]]> 00:57:35 <![CDATA[Shift 6 Connecting The Auto Industry With Veterans]]> Thu, 21 Apr 2022 08:00:00 +0000 Scott DeLuzio https://drive-on-podcast.castos.com/podcasts/2296/episodes/shift-6-connecting-the-auto-industry-with-veterans Curtis Rutledge is an Army veteran and the creator of the non-profit Shift 6, whose mission is to bridge the auto industry with the veteran community by raising veteran awareness through the teaching of automotive and technical skills.

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Transcript

View the transcript for this episode.

]]> full 169 false Curtis Rutledge is an Army veteran and the creator of the non-profit Shift 6, whose mission is to bridge the auto industry with the veteran community by raising veteran awareness through the teaching of automotive and technical skills.

Links & Resources

Transcript

View the transcript for this episode.

]]> 00:31:07 <![CDATA[Pushing Outside Your Comfort Zone]]> Tue, 19 Apr 2022 08:00:00 +0000 Scott DeLuzio https://drive-on-podcast.castos.com/podcasts/2296/episodes/pushing-outside-your-comfort-zone Joseph "Joe" Bogdan is a Senior Enlisted Leader in the United States Air Force with more than 20 years of service.  He is currently the Chief Enlisted Manager for almost 600 military and civilian engineers at Osan Air Base in the Republic of Korea.  In this capacity, he is responsible for leading, organizing, training and equipping members to execute missions in efforts to defend the security of the Pacific region and build partnership capacity with our allies.

He has a wide array of leadership experience in the engineering, communications, and social services career fields and has employed his skills at multiple assignments across the globe. Driven by his passion to help others reach their professional and personal goals, he continues to be a mentor to hundreds and is a sought-after speaker and instructor on a variety of topics to include resilience, management, and leadership.

He holds instructional certifications in multiple courses to include Franklin Covey's The 7 Habits of Highly Effective People, Shipley Communications' Four Lenses, and is a Master Resiliency Trainer certified at The University of Pennsylvania.  He is a certified Leadership Coach, he holds an undergraduate degree in Social Sciences with a minor in Homeland Security from the University of Maryland University College and earned his graduate degree in Organizational Leadership at Brandman University where he is currently an adjunct professor of both undergraduate and graduate leadership studies.

Joe is also a co-founder of The Llama Leadership website and a host of the Llama Lounge podcast that explores topics on all things life, learning, and leadership.

Links & Resources

Transcript

View the transcript for this episode.

]]> full 168 false Joseph "Joe" Bogdan is a Senior Enlisted Leader in the United States Air Force with more than 20 years of service.  He is currently the Chief Enlisted Manager for almost 600 military and civilian engineers at Osan Air Base in the Republic of Korea.  In this capacity, he is responsible for leading, organizing, training and equipping members to execute missions in efforts to defend the security of the Pacific region and build partnership capacity with our allies.

He has a wide array of leadership experience in the engineering, communications, and social services career fields and has employed his skills at multiple assignments across the globe. Driven by his passion to help others reach their professional and personal goals, he continues to be a mentor to hundreds and is a sought-after speaker and instructor on a variety of topics to include resilience, management, and leadership.

He holds instructional certifications in multiple courses to include Franklin Covey's The 7 Habits of Highly Effective People, Shipley Communications' Four Lenses, and is a Master Resiliency Trainer certified at The University of Pennsylvania.  He is a certified Leadership Coach, he holds an undergraduate degree in Social Sciences with a minor in Homeland Security from the University of Maryland University College and earned his graduate degree in Organizational Leadership at Brandman University where he is currently an adjunct professor of both undergraduate and graduate leadership studies.

Joe is also a co-founder of The Llama Leadership website and a host of the Llama Lounge podcast that explores topics on all things life, learning, and leadership.

Links & Resources

Transcript

View the transcript for this episode.

]]> 00:58:39 <![CDATA[Physical Health's Impact On Mental Health]]> Thu, 14 Apr 2022 08:00:00 +0000 Scott DeLuzio https://drive-on-podcast.castos.com/podcasts/2296/episodes/physical-healths-impact-on-mental-health Jeff Clark is an Air Force Veteran, host of the Course of Action podcast, and author of the new book Hear These Truths. In this episode, we discuss how his physical health impacted his mental health, and how unprepared he felt when transitioning out of the military.

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Transcript

View the transcript for this episode.

]]> full 167 false Jeff Clark is an Air Force Veteran, host of the Course of Action podcast, and author of the new book Hear These Truths. In this episode, we discuss how his physical health impacted his mental health, and how unprepared he felt when transitioning out of the military.

Links & Resources

Transcript

View the transcript for this episode.

]]> 00:48:04 <![CDATA[Hot Mess to Wellness]]> Tue, 12 Apr 2022 08:00:00 +0000 Scott DeLuzio https://drive-on-podcast.castos.com/podcasts/2296/episodes/hot-mess-to-wellness Amanda Zeine is a pediatrician in the Army who suffered a Traumatic Brain Injury in 2018. After her injury, she had secondary conditions that caused a loss of identity, depression, amongst other issues. She discusses her experience with a TBI, treatment, and how she created a new vision of herself. She is also the author of the book Hot Mess to Wellness.

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Transcript

View the transcript for this episode.

]]> full 166 false Amanda Zeine is a pediatrician in the Army who suffered a Traumatic Brain Injury in 2018. After her injury, she had secondary conditions that caused a loss of identity, depression, amongst other issues. She discusses her experience with a TBI, treatment, and how she created a new vision of herself. She is also the author of the book Hot Mess to Wellness.

Links & Resources

Transcript

View the transcript for this episode.

]]> 00:55:50 <![CDATA[PTSD Unplugged]]> Thu, 07 Apr 2022 08:00:00 +0000 Scott DeLuzio https://drive-on-podcast.castos.com/podcasts/2296/episodes/ptsd-unplugged Dr. Pamela Hall is a Forensic and Clinical psychologist and a Subject-matter Expert in Post Traumatic Stress Disorder. She is on a mission to get the facts about PTSD into the hands of veterans and their families. Dr. Hall has written a book, PTSD Unplugged: How to Leave the War Behind Us, which is a guidebook for combat survivors and their loved ones.

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Transcript

View the transcript for this episode.

]]> full 165 false Dr. Pamela Hall is a Forensic and Clinical psychologist and a Subject-matter Expert in Post Traumatic Stress Disorder. She is on a mission to get the facts about PTSD into the hands of veterans and their families. Dr. Hall has written a book, PTSD Unplugged: How to Leave the War Behind Us, which is a guidebook for combat survivors and their loved ones.

Links & Resources

Transcript

View the transcript for this episode.

]]> 00:56:39 <![CDATA[Forging A Path Of Purpose After A TBI and PTSD]]> Tue, 05 Apr 2022 08:00:00 +0000 Scott DeLuzio https://drive-on-podcast.castos.com/podcasts/2296/episodes/forging-a-path-of-purpose-after-a-tbi-and-ptsd Allen Simmons is a Marine Corps veteran who deployed to Iraq and Afghanistan and wrestled with PTSD from a TBI that he sustained in Afghanistan. In his healing journey, he battled depression and suicide as he set on a new path of purpose. He is also the host of the Purpose Pod podcast and author of the book Can I Speak? Allen joins us to talk about his experiences and how he overcame the obstacles that stood in his way.

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Transcript

View the transcript for this episode.

]]> full 164 false Allen Simmons is a Marine Corps veteran who deployed to Iraq and Afghanistan and wrestled with PTSD from a TBI that he sustained in Afghanistan. In his healing journey, he battled depression and suicide as he set on a new path of purpose. He is also the host of the Purpose Pod podcast and author of the book Can I Speak? Allen joins us to talk about his experiences and how he overcame the obstacles that stood in his way.

Links & Resources

Transcript

View the transcript for this episode.

]]> 00:56:41 <![CDATA[The Winners Paradigm]]> Thu, 31 Mar 2022 08:00:00 +0000 Scott DeLuzio https://drive-on-podcast.castos.com/podcasts/2296/episodes/the-winners-paradigm Alundas Havens hosts The Winners Paradigm Podcast, where he helps others learn what they can do to create daily habits that can help them achieve their goals. In this episode, we talk about some of the ways that we can work to better ourselves.

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Transcript

View the transcript for this episode.

]]> full 163 false Alundas Havens hosts The Winners Paradigm Podcast, where he helps others learn what they can do to create daily habits that can help them achieve their goals. In this episode, we talk about some of the ways that we can work to better ourselves.

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Transcript

View the transcript for this episode.

]]> 00:48:57 <![CDATA[In Loving Memory]]> Tue, 29 Mar 2022 16:20:00 +0000 Scott DeLuzio https://drive-on-podcast.castos.com/podcasts/2296/episodes/in-loving-memory Diana Soriano is an Army veteran who served in Afghanistan at the same time as her fiancé. During that deployment her fiancé, Bobby Pagan, was KIA. Diana is also the author of the book In Loving Memory: A Story of Love, Loss, and Living On. She shares her story in this episode and how she has healed from the loss.

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Transcript

View the transcript for this episode.

]]> full 162 false Diana Soriano is an Army veteran who served in Afghanistan at the same time as her fiancé. During that deployment her fiancé, Bobby Pagan, was KIA. Diana is also the author of the book In Loving Memory: A Story of Love, Loss, and Living On. She shares her story in this episode and how she has healed from the loss.

Links & Resources

Transcript

View the transcript for this episode.

]]> 01:01:38 <![CDATA[Living A Free Life]]> Thu, 24 Mar 2022 08:00:00 +0000 Scott DeLuzio https://drive-on-podcast.castos.com/podcasts/2296/episodes/living-a-free-life Jay Ly is the host of the Live Free Series, where he helps others eliminate the mindsets that hold them back from meeting their financial goals.

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Transcript

View the transcript for this episode.

]]> full 161 false Jay Ly is the host of the Live Free Series, where he helps others eliminate the mindsets that hold them back from meeting their financial goals.

Links & Resources

Transcript

View the transcript for this episode.

]]> 00:54:54 <![CDATA[Stepping Outside Your Comfort Zone]]> Tue, 22 Mar 2022 08:00:00 +0000 Scott DeLuzio https://drive-on-podcast.castos.com/podcasts/2296/episodes/stepping-outside-your-comfort-zone Scott Harris is an Army veteran who has a message for anyone who feels stuck in their lives, and how they can step outside their comfort zone to achieve great things.

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Transcript

View the transcript for this episode.

]]> full 160 false Scott Harris is an Army veteran who has a message for anyone who feels stuck in their lives, and how they can step outside their comfort zone to achieve great things.

Links & Resources

Transcript

View the transcript for this episode.

]]> 00:55:30 <![CDATA[Discovering Your Own Path]]> Thu, 17 Mar 2022 08:00:00 +0000 Scott DeLuzio https://drive-on-podcast.castos.com/podcasts/2296/episodes/discovering-your-own-path Wayne Shipman served in the Army in the '90s and found himself homeless years after leaving the Army. He considered ending it all when he decided he had to discover his own path in life. In this episode, Wayne shares how he felt disconnected from other people in his life, which drove him away from them. He also shares how he ultimately got himself off of the streets.

Links & Resources

Transcript

Scott DeLuzio  00:00:00    Thanks for tuning into the Drive On Podcast where we're focused on giving hope and strength to the entire military community. Whether you're a veteran, active duty, guard, reserve, or family member, this podcast will share inspirational stories and resources that are useful to you. I'm your host, Scott DeLuzio. And now let's get on with the show. Hey, everybody, welcome back to the Drive On Podcast. Today, my guest is Wayne Shipman. Wayne is an army veteran who wound up living outdoors as a homeless man in 2005. While he was living outdoors, he had to face the realities of his homelessness, divorce, bad parenting, drug use, and his own mental health condition, which led him on a path of sobriety and ultimately ended, his time living on the streets. I want to welcome Wayne to the show. Welcome, Wayne. Thanks for joining me.  

Wayne Shipman   00:01:01    Scott is really great to be here talking to you. I've heard a lot of your content and you got me hooked. 

Scott DeLuzio    00:01:08    Oh, awesome. That's great.  I went over a little bit of your background, but could you give us a little kind of an overview of your background? What led you to join the military and what happened to you in that situation when you're in the military?  

Wayne Shipman   00:01:28    Yeah, that's kind of a long story. It's something I got to shave the ice and just kind of give you the shavings of it, because it's just, it goes on and on and on its layers of things that kind of led up to the situations that I was in.  I was a homeless guy and I was on dope and given up frankly. The message that I'm trying to bring, I'm trying to give you the end game. You don't have to spend 15 minutes figuring out why I'm telling you this story after all of my disappointments and things that I experienced after the military, trying to adjust to civilian life. I pretty much encountered shame. And a lot of disgrace that I carried with me because I didn't make it in the military.  

Wayne Shipman     00:02:21    I failed. I ended up getting kicked out about six months early from my end of service. And that hurt me over the years. I'm trying to kind of reach out to soldiers. Former military that had similar experiences. I went into the military looking for some kind of golden ticket to be respected by my family and members.  My family members growing up as in the post-World War II era, a lot of my grandma, my uncles. They had pictures on their walls of military people. And some of them were from the Vietnam era.  I was the first grandson out of six daughters in the family. All eyes were on me,  and through the years I heard it all. Every Christmas, every Thanksgiving, when people get together, there was Wayne playing with his little Tonka toys, but they were all talking about Wayne's going to do great.  

Wayne Shipman     00:03:...

]]> full 159 false Wayne Shipman served in the Army in the '90s and found himself homeless years after leaving the Army. He considered ending it all when he decided he had to discover his own path in life. In this episode, Wayne shares how he felt disconnected from other people in his life, which drove him away from them. He also shares how he ultimately got himself off of the streets.

Links & Resources

Transcript

Scott DeLuzio  00:00:00    Thanks for tuning into the Drive On Podcast where we're focused on giving hope and strength to the entire military community. Whether you're a veteran, active duty, guard, reserve, or family member, this podcast will share inspirational stories and resources that are useful to you. I'm your host, Scott DeLuzio. And now let's get on with the show. Hey, everybody, welcome back to the Drive On Podcast. Today, my guest is Wayne Shipman. Wayne is an army veteran who wound up living outdoors as a homeless man in 2005. While he was living outdoors, he had to face the realities of his homelessness, divorce, bad parenting, drug use, and his own mental health condition, which led him on a path of sobriety and ultimately ended, his time living on the streets. I want to welcome Wayne to the show. Welcome, Wayne. Thanks for joining me.  

Wayne Shipman   00:01:01    Scott is really great to be here talking to you. I've heard a lot of your content and you got me hooked. 

Scott DeLuzio    00:01:08    Oh, awesome. That's great.  I went over a little bit of your background, but could you give us a little kind of an overview of your background? What led you to join the military and what happened to you in that situation when you're in the military?  

Wayne Shipman   00:01:28    Yeah, that's kind of a long story. It's something I got to shave the ice and just kind of give you the shavings of it, because it's just, it goes on and on and on its layers of things that kind of led up to the situations that I was in.  I was a homeless guy and I was on dope and given up frankly. The message that I'm trying to bring, I'm trying to give you the end game. You don't have to spend 15 minutes figuring out why I'm telling you this story after all of my disappointments and things that I experienced after the military, trying to adjust to civilian life. I pretty much encountered shame. And a lot of disgrace that I carried with me because I didn't make it in the military.  

Wayne Shipman     00:02:21    I failed. I ended up getting kicked out about six months early from my end of service. And that hurt me over the years. I'm trying to kind of reach out to soldiers. Former military that had similar experiences. I went into the military looking for some kind of golden ticket to be respected by my family and members.  My family members growing up as in the post-World War II era, a lot of my grandma, my uncles. They had pictures on their walls of military people. And some of them were from the Vietnam era.  I was the first grandson out of six daughters in the family. All eyes were on me,  and through the years I heard it all. Every Christmas, every Thanksgiving, when people get together, there was Wayne playing with his little Tonka toys, but they were all talking about Wayne's going to do great.  

Wayne Shipman     00:03:22    He's going to be this. He's going to be that. And I kept hearing from more and more and more often, he's going to make a great military man. He's going to be a great soldier because grandpa was, and was uncle Tom. It was somebody else and somebody else, and it got to me, to where I expected to join the military, but I resisted it right up to the last minute. I had military parents and we moved around a lot, the whole routine, every two, three years, we were gone somewhere. Over the years I developed some real disorders and adjusting to civilian life after the military because I went into the military with certain expectations and I went into the military expecting to be turned into a real soldier. And I'm not talking about going in blazing guns.  

Wayne Shipman    00:04:18     I really didn't care if I saw combat. I was kind of scared of that aspect. I was willing when I joined the military, I chose parachute rigger because of course, like most wise recruiters, they give you two really lame things to choose from. And one that they're trying to push you to. Well, I chose a parachute rigger, which was way out of character for me at the time I grew up smoking pot. I had long hair all the way through high school. I was disobedient.  I was rebellious. I was stubborn and hardheaded. And when I joined the military, I was voted least likely to succeed because of that but I actually expected the shift to happen for me because I was expecting to be a military soldier and do military things. Like I said, I wasn't looking to go to combat.

Wayne Shipman    00:05:17    But up until that time, I really didn't have any reason to think that I was going to live a life as an adult of being successful. The typical thing about chasing the American dream, working for corporations, and stuff. Heck, I couldn't get along with my English teacher in 11th grade for crying out loud. I wouldn't make it on a job, but I was sorely disappointed, man. When I joined the military like I said, this recruiter had promised me, he said, being a parachute rigger, this was in 1987. And he said, there's a 99% chance. I'm going to Fort Bragg, North Carolina. And I would be doing real military deployment stuff, not necessarily combat-related, but I would be all the time doing training exercises and airdrop exercises, dropping ammunition and supplies.  

Wayne Shipman     00:06:15    Even if it's just in training, I would be very busy doing my job as a parachute rigger. And of course, supporting some of the military jumps,  the airborne operations down there. I was all on board for that. And lo and behold, they sent me to Fort Richardson, Alaska into a Garrison unit. And I wasn't actually in a real company, I was an attachment. There were 14 of us parachute riggers in an attachment of like 250 soldiers and alpha company Garrison. And we had soldiers from some of them who were mechanics. Some of them were cooks. Some of them worked at the troop medical clinic. I'm not even sure what they were doing. We weren't doing real soldier stuff.  

Scott DeLuzio   00:07:01    They weren't jumping out of airplanes. But I think that that's the case. It wasn't like you were in Fort Bragg where they were going to be doing that with the majority of the people you were stationed with or who were stationed there, I should say. that was basically their job and that you'd be doing all that stuff on a routine basis. But, it sounds like what you're looking for was the structure and the discipline and the rigor of military life and what you got was thrown into a Garrison unit. And it was anything but that, it seems.  Coming from a life where you were looking for that type of structure, and then you don't get it.  

Scott DeLuzio   00:08:03, Now if I can't get it in the military, where the heck am I going to get that from? I can imagine when you get out, that it's a pretty scary world to get out into. When You're smacked with that reality of civilian life and how you were no longer getting the training that you were expecting to be getting. After getting out of the military, how long was it before you found yourself living out on the streets and without a home?  

Wayne Shipman     00:08:46    It was many years actually. I got out officially in October of 1990, and it was, I think 2005 when I actually resorted to living on the streets. And, there was a lot that led up to that, but the link there was a link. Once you're homeless, Scott, you're around other homeless people and it's no longer mysterious, they're no longer mysterious. The mystery about homeless people is kind of why I started hanging around with them in the first place. I ended up in Portland, Oregon, and some traveling. And when I stepped off the Greyhound bus there, I was just in love with the city, the architecture, the statues, the fountains, the people.  I think the very first day I was there, some guy walked by with a backpack and on the backpack, it was like a bumper sticker that said, keep Portland weird.  

Wayne Shipman    00:09:48    I'm not kidding, man. I heard drums and I was like, what is this major drum thing going on? It was something like September of 2002 when I arrived in Portland and I heard these drums. It sounded like tribal drums. Like the Apaches were just over the hill, banging on their drums. Well, I started following the sound of the drums and it was like this, it was like 40 hippies out there. Like a bunch of them were white guys with dreads. They were beating on these drums and it was kind of an annual celebration too. It was the fall harvest kind of thing, and important. They have the rose festival parade and they have all kinds of stuff that happened in September. Well, it was just really an excuse for these guys to be out there.  

Wayne Shipman     00:10:34    Partying is what it was. And when I walked out there and saw that, and then I kind of went around the corner and I started seeing I was on skid row and I didn't know it, the bus, let me out like three or four blocks away from the actual, the road where most of the homeless missions are on Burnside road, Burnside Boulevard. There's like 15 different homeless missions down there. And there were all these homeless people standing in line. When I got off the bus, I was just kinda like kicking back, leaning against a tree, looking at them. That was normal. Sorry for you guys, what's your problem? Why don't you just snap out of it? What is this? Or you just, you just love welfare. Your mommy didn't give you a good enough education or whatever.  

Wayne Shipman     00:11:19    I mean, I was pretty sarcastic, but not to them, but privately, I had the same kind of judgment call that most of us have when we see homeless people. But for the first time, I saw literally thousands of homeless people, more than a hundred around downtown Portland. Portland has 2 million people in a metropolitan area. The more I hung around in the actual downtown area, the more I saw just homeless people were common. Later on in 2004, about two years later, I was having some really tough psychological adjustment issues. And it wasn't related to the military, not directly, but I do have a message and I call it the backside of PTSD. I have other podcasts. I'm not a podcast host, but right now I am really getting invited to other people and I'm a guest speaker on several podcasts.  

Wayne Shipman     00:12:17    What I'm doing is I've been trying to convey the message of homelessness to the average citizens, the average people out there, because especially during COVID. COVID changed everything. COVID changed the game, especially for the homeless. At heart, I'm a homeless advocate.  Obviously, I'm not homeless anymore, but I went through this period of very severe psych psychological disorders,  including being diagnosed by a psychiatrist and a doctor. They did blood metabolites. They did the full physical on me, extensive psychological evaluations over a period of like six months. And in the end, it was more like layers of several different personality and mood disorders that were kind of retroactive or triggering each other, which I didn't know. All I knew was I was angry. I was mad at the world. I was feeling like I didn't belong.  

Wayne Shipman   00:13:25    I didn't fit in no matter what job I took, whether it was a warehouse maintenance technician for apartments driving a city cab, now I've been a semi-truck driver for five years, and I'm really having a hard time with that. And that's because there's too many people out there that have road rage issues. You get on the highway and it's a game of life and death. And all you're doing is really just going to get a gallon of milk or something, man.  You go somewhere and people have no regard now for human life, not even their own and I'm in a semi-truck. And so this struggle has been with me for many years, and I didn't understand what was being triggered into bipolar anger, being triggered into some of the really more serious traits of borderline personality disorder.  

Wayne Shipman    00:14:21    And I mean, it gets intense. I've had to really learn skills that aren't taught in school. I had to learn skills post-military because the military wasn't willing to offer me any kind of skill training to deal with my psychology, my anger problems, my depression at the time. Unfortunately, I was in a unit that did not really want to take time to help through counseling services. They didn't get into that. You were in the military, you knew what you were getting into when you signed up, which I don't really believe we do. Essentially most of us were 19 years old coming out of high school, coming from the busted broken home that I came from.  I certainly didn't know what I was getting into. I just knew that I was willing. Later on, when I was having a really hard time in 2004, I realized once and for all I'm homeless.  

Wayne Shipman     00:15:25    It wasn't just because I lost a job or whatever it is because I became the epitome of a real homeless person that could not actually sustain myself by working for a living. I would get a job, lose it, get a job, lose it. I would either get offended by somebody and just walk out, or I would just get mad and just go off the hook, throwing things. And people were frightened. I mean, I punched a time clock off the wall one day because some guy said, well, you can't be in here taking your 15-minute break if you didn't clock out. And somebody told me that I could, I walked over there and I punched it. I didn't punch out with the time clock. I punched the clock off the wall and everybody in the break room just looked at me like, what was that?  

Wayne Shipman     00:16:14    And I'm just looking at them. Like, I don't know. I don't know. I found out that it was common for someone with bipolar and especially having a combination of different things going on. And I know a lot of former military personnel suffer from this PTSD. There's 10,000 people on YouTube and everything else talking about PTSD. But, my first big message is, things like PTSD and bipolar disorder, and borderline personality disorder, whatever you want to call them, may explain the symptoms that you're witnessing or they demonstrate. But it certainly does not describe the experience we're having. If you say, well, he's got PTSD. Then if you line up five people in a room and you say, what do you think is PTSD? All of them have a different kind of explanation of the symptoms and things.  

Wayne Shipman     00:17:12    My PTSD that I'm talking about is not military-related. It's post-traumatic stress disorder that came from myself, coming from a busted family of a busted home, a pretty messed up childhood, getting into adult life with some unreasonable expectations of what I thought the military was. And some unexpected, unreasonable expectations of what I was going to become as a military soldier, because it didn't work when that didn't happen. The amount of patriotism and the amount of enthusiasm that I had invested in being a soldier kind of backfired. And that's the amount of disgrace that I felt. That's the amount of shame that I felt. That's the amount of disappointment that I walked around with.  

Scott DeLuzio    00:18:01    And we were talking, earlier, before we started recording here. You had mentioned when you became homeless and you were hanging around more and more with the people who were homeless, that you were starting to relate more with them than you were with everybody else in society.  When you start to relate with people, you kind of want to maybe hang out with them more than other people. And so, do you think that that contributed to the fact that you remained homeless for an extended period of time? Or was there ever a time when, early on when you first found yourself being homeless  =that you're trying to figure that out, or did you just say, what, these are my people I'm going to hang out here.  What was that situation like?  

Wayne Shipman    00:18:59    Well, I think the way that I could explain it is I came to a realization as a homeless person. I was out there for probably a year at the time. And I mean, in the wintertime, don't get me wrong. There were, at the time, plenty of indoor shelters that kept us indoors at night, but at 6: 30, 7 o'clock in the morning you were out. And I mean, there were days when it was minus five degrees with 10-knot winds, nowhere to go, nothing to do. And they kicked us out of the mission. We're walking around in the snow, in the dark and December, nothing to do. But what I realized was I found not really a sense of belonging as a homeless person, but I found a sense of how much I related with them in the reasons why they were homeless.  

Wayne Shipman     00:19:57     I found I had the word a minute ago, I kind of tripped myself up normalcy. I started experiencing normalcy in a different way when I was around these other homeless people. And what I mean by that is maybe you can put my YouTube link in, in the show notes and the YouTube channel that I have, I'm not a YouTube, or I'm not doing weekly videos and I'm not trying to gather a following and all that stuff. And I'm not self-promoting, but I have a YouTube channel just so that any of my podcast recordings that I'm doing right now is on there. There's kind of an arrangement there's a variety of different topics that I talk about. Every single podcast I'm doing, I can relate with homelessness. I was really homeless.  

Wayne Shipman     00:20:52    I was living with them, camping with them, eating with them. And pretty soon I realized God, I was one of them, man. I wasn't just experiencing homelessness. I was a homeless person.  I can point to my temple and say, I became homeless right here. And what that means is I realized I was a misfit in society. And I didn't know why. I mean, that's the frustration I was willing to be, to work on time. I was willing to shave my face as they wanted me to. I was willing to wear their dorky, look hats with the company emblems on them.  What I mean, whatever they told me to do, I'm a company man, I'm here. I'm going to do this. But where I did not fit in was the company politics. The side jokes going on, a little bit, making fun of each other.  

Wayne Shipman     00:21:45    It's okay when we get together and we're buddies enough that we can make fun of each other and stuff, but on the job, it can get awkward. And I wasn't handling it well because I was mentally unstable. And it went beyond that to where whenever we would sit in a break room, for instance, I always had a hard time with small talk, talking about, well, I went fishing this last weekend and well. I got myself a pair of skis and I'm going to go up to the lodge and go skiing. And, I got me a mountain bike and they would tell you the gear ratio and the tire size and all this stuff. And I'm like, I'm just slipping on my Coca-Cola. And I don't have any of that to talk about.  

Wayne Shipman     00:22:27    I don't have anything interesting to say. And, it's also a shaming element because no matter what environment I'm in back then, no matter what environment I was in, I did not experience normalcy the way they did. I was always the odd guy. I was always the quiet one sitting off on the side, wanting to be left alone. I just wanted to show up, clock in, do my job, take lunch, come back, do my job, go home to them. If you're not really interesting and engaging, you're weird and no matter what job I went on, I kind of experienced the same stuff. And when I went into the military, I had the same problem. But as a 19-year-old young man, just fresh out of high school, literally, and, and joined the army, I thought the army was the only backstory I needed.  

Wayne Shipman     00:23:21    I thought being a parachute rigger and doing interesting things, jumping out of C130's and stuff was enough to talk about. But then here's the challenge I got into. I was around real military people and I was around people that were stable mentally and emotionally. And I was around people that were confident in their skills. They were confident, not only if they were a parachute rigger or an infantry soldier, they were confident people when you'd see them on the weekend, they were wearing blue jeans and a ball cap. When you see them Monday morning, they're wearing BDU pants and Joe boots. They weren't carrying a dummy M 16. It was for real, but these people had real stories. They had really interesting lives. What I had was unreasonable expectations, like I said, and the unreasonable thing that I'm talking about is really linked to some of the disorders that I mentioned.  

Wayne Shipman    00:24:20    It's called grandiose ideas. It's called grandiose expectations. The guy that's bipolar, or the guy that's very much insecure about me. I was very insecure about my upbringing and who I was as a person. I had a very unstable identity as a person, as a young man. I was around other people, I was hearing their stories and I knew there was no BS here at this table. And the only thing I had to bring was BS stories because I didn't really have anything I was proud of to talk about. I could not cut it in my military unit, and  I'm just going to give you the 62nd rundown on this. But the world's worst thing happened to me when I met a girl. When I first got there within the first few weeks of being there, she got pregnant within the first couple of weekends of hanging out together.  

Wayne Shipman     00:25:22    And the story was, she was just as mentally unstable as I was. And in her own way, she had angry meltdowns. She was out of control, just belligerent mad temper tantrums.  I kind of grew up with that I witnessed that in my home growing up. It was just so much more of the same. I had to get away from this lady because she was triggering me in a way that no one had triggered me before. I didn't realize that I had these disorders, but they were more dormant. They were in their infancy stages back then when I became 34, 35 years old, 2004, 2005, these disorders were very real. And I could not function normally with normalcy among regular people because they would trigger me in certain ways. And I didn't understand it. My triggers would happen.  

Wayne Shipman     00:26:20    And they just said, look, dude, you need to get ahold of yourself. You need to get a grip.  I kept hearing that in the military, you need to suck it up. You need to march on. We ain't, we don't have time to hear nothing about your dang pregnant girlfriend stuff. All these soldiers out here have a pregnant girlfriend. I said, yeah, but mine is, throwing dishes at the wall. Mine is like a real lady. And I was actually asking for a transfer. I think for probably nine or 11 months, I kept sending letters up through JAG and through the military, the right channels. I was trying to get sent to Fort Bragg, North Carolina. That's what they promised me. I was wanting to be a real and a real 82nd airborne operation, 82nd airborne

Wayne Shipman   00:27:10    I was in a unit where we were seeing the same, like lame three or four cadence songs every morning.  We did two-mile runs three times a week. And then every time we do the two-mile run, it was the exact same three or four cadences. See one 30 running down the strip.  What do I mean? Come on man. I was the guy in the unit. I was the guy going to a new cadence, new cadence. And they were getting tired of hearing me talk about it, but I just was out of place in the military. And then later in life as a civilian, I just realized I have real disorders. When I was homeless, I was talking to you before we started recording. Not only did I find I was related with most homeless people because we were no longer mechanic maintenance technicians, semi-truck drivers.  

Wayne Shipman     00:28:04    We were just human beings. We were Americans. Right? And we were also displaced Americans. Actually, we were called loitering. There were a lot of really stereotypical things. Labels were put on us because we didn't have anywhere to go. We were always loitering somewhere. We were always trespassing somewhere. We were always harassed by either security, guards, police officers, or just somebody walking by somebody, taking pictures with their cell phones, looking at these homeless people. And we're just sitting there and going, I don't know what my picture was taken. Right. I started encountering on a regular basis, former military, probably my age. I'm saying at the time I was 37 years old, I was encountering former military people that were just recently getting out to maybe 50 years old. Many of them, there's a thread of commonality that all of us had and it was, we couldn't adjust.  

Wayne Shipman     00:29:07    We didn't know where we belonged. And the problem was in the years, back then when I was in the military, there was not as much buzz talk about support. There was not as much encouragement about soldier counseling services available to members of the armed forces. There was not much of that at all. In fact, it was actually shunned. It was kind of like, well, Jesus, why are you here? You gotta get pregnant, can't you decide it up. They didn't understand the gunfire going off in my mind. I was at work packing, packing parachutes, but I couldn't get this out of my head. And I couldn't focus on what I was doing. And it was just making me frustrated and mad. Well, they saw it as  I was not fit for military service because I was mentally unstable.  

Wayne Shipman    00:29:58    That's what they started writing down in their psychological evaluations. Right. And the easiest thing in the world would have been to introduce me to somebody that can help me understand how to cope with my challenges. Nowadays I'm hearing, especially on your channel, man, you got me hooked. I mean, I'm still trying to there's some of them, I'm going, I'm backtracking trying to listen to him a second and third time, there's a lot of services now where they realize. They recognize just because a soldier has angry fits or just because he's depressed all the time. Doesn't mean he's not fit for military service. It just means he needs help. And he supports, he, she, I mean, one of your, one of your podcasts that really got me stirring, I don't remember the lady's name, but it's called the enemy within or dealing with the enemy with them.  

Wayne Shipman     00:30:52    Brandy Benson, Brandy, man, I guess speechless, trying to kind of just revisit her experience. I hope people will actually listen to that podcast. Because I can't do it. Justice telling her story right now. But she experienced the epitome of trying to deal with something traumatic with no support, no support from military command, no support from your comrades. Okay. But her mother was the one visiting the hospital. Her mother was staying with her side by side and her mother was the one keeping her spirit, at least with an element of hope. She got cancer in her leg, which sounds like whatever you got cancer in your leg, this cancer was killing her. She was one of the top-notch soldiers. She did not have a chip on her shoulder trying to prove that females can do what men can do. That's not what she was doing.  

Wayne Shipman     00:31:55    She was just being a soldier. That's what I loved about her story. She was not, she was not a pitiful story of, I'm a female treat me, right. She was a soldier and she got cancer and it happened to be in her leg. Well, when they had to amputate her leg, later on, she started realizing that there's an enemy within, because what she said was she was so health, fitness, and so oriented to pushing herself beyond the expectations. She was always trying to max out the PT test and everything else. Well, now she can't run. She can't do those things. And there were a lot of things that she couldn't do because of her limitations. But as the illness came on, she was treated by the military doctors, as this is terminal, this is terminal. You don't really have any hope.  

Wayne Shipman     00:32:47    You're in this ward with all these other soldiers and they're terminal too. We have other soldiers, we have other patients and pretty much, we're going to try to keep you comfortable, but we have other work to do. That was the atmosphere. And unfortunately, I'm here.  I've heard a lot from people that experienced it through the VA hospitals, but I'm also hearing many stories where the VA hospitals if it weren't for the treatment that they got in the VA hospitals, they would have given up hope anyway, but they were treated as comrades. They were treated as members of a military force and they were given the respect they deserve, but their stories weren't. And she said, well, you're telling me I'm a statistic. And statistically, this is fatal. And statistically, she said, what if I'm the exception?  

Wayne Shipman    00:33:39    And she started actually believing in herself as though she could be the succession and she actually overcame it. And she got out. And I think the story was that she was, in the company within the, in the cancer ward, she was the only one that actually made it out alive. And the deciding factor was that she had an attitude of hope. She had an attitude of positive expectation and she had support. Her mother was actually the one encouraging her and reading books to her and just kind of treating her as if there is hope. Right.  

Scott DeLuzio   00:34:17    Yeah. And honestly, that's the message that I like to get across with this podcast is that there is hope for people who are out there, who are struggling with, with any number of things, whether it's, homelessness, like in your case, substance abuse, or, diseases or other you name it, whatever you may be going through there's hope for you. Even if you feel like all hope is lost, even if all the quote-unquote experts are telling you, give up hope because this is, this is terminal, you only have an X number of months or years or whatever to live. Well, what if they're wrong? It's not the first time that one of these people has been wrong before. Right. What if they are wrong?  

Scott DeLuzio    00:35:05    Or what if you are that even if it's 99 out of a hundred chances that, what if you're that one that is going to make it through? We're trying to give some hope to the people here. You started mentioning a little bit about how people cope with various things. And I'd like to ask you if you're okay with it. Could you talk about how you're coping with some of these disorders now, or if there's any medications or therapies, things like that you've gone through that you'd like to mention?  

Wayne Shipman     00:35:44    I've been on a very long lonely walk through some very, very dark places that were not combat-related in the military. But one thing that that soldier was talking about in her podcast was the enemy within its voice. It's the voice that we hear in our head that either makes it possible or makes it impossible. Am I on the right trail here? It's the voice in our head that makes it possible or impossible. I was surrounded by people that were sick and tired of hearing my foul mouth at work and at home, I was surrounded by people that were pretty much sick and tired of my phone calls in the middle of the night saying I need 20 blocks. And, I got this going on. I got to, I always had a hustle. I always had a hustle because I couldn't make it.  

Wayne Shipman    00:36:40    I couldn't provide for myself by working for a living in an honorable way. And usually, when I was calling up to borrow 20 bucks, I headed off to buy a bag of weed. To be honest, for 30 years of my lifetime. Scott for 30 years of my life, I stayed in a cloud of weed pots. Thankfully for me, I got off that stuff in 2011. The last time it touched my lips. I haven't had a vape. I haven't tried any of the new stuff. And I'm so glad because the new cannabis that's out there is powerful and potent. It's robbing people's minds and they have no idea. When I was going through all these psychological evaluations and I was talking to this same psychiatrist repeatedly, what he was trying to get to was there other issues here that's kind of being camouflaged by the surface symptoms of what we're experiencing: depression, anger, that stuff.  

Wayne Shipman    00:37:46    Usually we get diagnosed by the surface symptoms that they start to experience, that they witness what we're doing and they come to a conclusion and then they write it in their medical file. And then they just go with it. Usually, they're non-conclusive. They're not accurate. What I first started doing was I resented the fact that the only real treatment options they were offering me was a list of medications. They wanted to medicate, which was standard protocol, that's called standard of care standard of care. It also means you can't afford $150 an hour for real psychological counseling, your health insurance doesn't cover it and you can't afford it. That's what that means. Here's some medications you need to tone it down. I really didn't sit well with that answer because at the time that this was happening to me, I was sick and tired of my own, my own pattern of misconduct, that got stuck in my mind because in the military, every time they wrote me up with an article 15, it was called a pattern of misconduct.  

Wayne Shipman    00:39:01    It was called misconduct slash pattern of misconduct.  I resented that. It was like, well, it's not misconduct. I'm just verbalizing my opinion when you're telling me to stand at attention, but you won't let me speak.  I ended up going all-in on wanting answers. I wanted real answers. I wanted real-time explanations about why my triggers are happening. I wanted somebody to tell me the real, the real path to mental wellness, other than just medications, and other than well, you have PTSD and you have bipolar disorder. So that explains it. Okay. That explains it. But that's not good enough. I want to know how I am supposed to manage myself because I've heard so many stories of people that came from far worse than me. And they have amazing lives. They've remarried.  

Wayne Shipman     00:40:01    They have businesses, they have children and they're doing it. Why not me? And when I had that attitude, I went all-in on discovering the path for myself. I try to keep telling everybody that you have to find your own way. It's a very dark, very lonely path, but, like what worked for Tony Robbins or what worked for Wayne Dyer, some of those things, you can find little nuggets of advice, but you can't just say here's a six-step process to mental wellness. And if you take a few deep breaths and go by these six steps, you will have mental wellness, you start experimenting. And actually one of your podcasts is about a soldier that I don't remember his name., I got out of the military and he was also that way he couldn't find normalcy and everything that he was trying was not fulfilling.  

Wayne Shipman     00:40:58    And he always wanted to start painting. He didn't really know what his edge was, but he just started, he said what, nothing else is working for me. I'm just going to screw off for a little while. He went to Walmart or something and spent like 40 bucks, right? On some pastel paints and colors. And some board, he went home, he started painting and something in him lit up. And he just found himself by expressing his portraits. He was painting military stuff. And he was like, I remember in the pot, he said, somebody came over and said, man, this is really good stuff. You need to go down here and put it on, go down here to this flea market and start advertising your stuff and let people buy it. He was like, man, people don't even know what these things are.  

Wayne Shipman     00:41:46     This heavy equipment rifle, they can't even tell me what it is. Well, when he went down there, it started selling right off the shelf and he couldn't even keep up with the demand. But he says, you have to try something. You have to begin by trying things. You can't just stay shut down and stay at home and keep the TV on and keep the curtains closed. You actually have to get out there and start experimenting with things. And what I found was writing and storytelling because I had this compassion for homeless people, which I didn't understand at the time. And I had this very serious psychological disorder that I carried around with me. And when I actually started writing and journaling, I wasn't trying to write a book, which I am now. I wasn't trying to impress people by telling them stories.  

Wayne Shipman    00:42:42    I was actually just trying to write down because it was so confusing to just think out loud. I couldn't actually process what I was thinking and feeling that was so confusing. When I started journaling and writing. There was one other soldier that was talking about. She ended up writing and now she's published like eight books. I forgot. Oh, I wish I could remember the podcast. I was just listening to it this morning. It's one of your guests. She was talking about it. She recently retired and she was talking about most people. Most people talk about the negative aspects of the VA. But the first thing you encounter is the veteran's benefits department. And through the veteran's benefits department, they start coaching you in how to write a resume and how to actually assemble your civilian clothing so that you can show up on jobs, interviews, and stuff. She's writing books. She started out journaling because she was trying to understand her own mess. And, she actually came up with her own way of processing and her own way of adjustment. And later on, her journals and her recordings that she was doing, she had to use that material to write it into a book. And now she specializes in the former military trying to make the adjustment in this way in the world. She didn't know that until she started experimenting with it.  

Scott DeLuzio   00:44:07    Exactly. I think that's one of those things I've talked to other people too, where they just try something. And if that thing isn't the thing for you, try something else. I did the same thing with my software, with a painting in writing and, and things like that., I Hadn't picked up a paintbrush since I was a kid in elementary school or whatever. And I decided, what, I'm going to give it a try and worst-case scenario, it turns out like crap and I throw it away and then I don't do it anymore. And I move on to something else. But the best-case scenario is I find out that I actually enjoy it. And, and it brings me a little bit of peace and, and everything. That's what I did. And I just tried something, I didn't take any formal classes or,  get the fanciest, paints or paintbrush or all that kind of stuff. It's just something I just picked up and started doing. And  I think that that's the same thing for anybody is really just trying something. 

Wayne Shipman     00:45:23    That's the key level. The next level to that, Scott is that's the beginning. We get locked down thinking there's nothing else. There's nothing else for me. I'm an infantry soldier., I'm a parachute rigger. I'm out here in the civilian world. What the heck am I going to do? These people don't understand me. They don't relate with me. The shrinks can't tell me what's wrong with me. We get stuck in that. And that becomes our story, right? Our story resonates day and night, we live with our own voices in our mind. And what I'm saying is I found the path to telling myself what I choose to believe. I found the path to telling myself what I'm going to refuse to live by. I'm not going to live by the symptoms of bipolar disorder, and I'm not going to live by the terrible things I experienced as a teenager growing up, and I'm not going to live by this disorder label as if this is the end.  

Wayne Shipman    00:46:28    Skip forward to answer your question a little better. For me personally, I've realized every person has to find their own way. What works for me, it worked for me, but it might not work for somebody else, but if they try what worked for me and it didn't work, that's not the end. If that's the end for you, you're not really trying. I have three adult children right now. They were teenagers when I was homeless and it was ripping their heart out, man. I would call them on the phone. They didn't know how to talk to some homeless guy on the phone, near father's day. They're supposed to wish me a happy father's day. And I'm homeless. The only thing they knew about homelessness is what they saw on TV or in a movie. And any podcast you hear of mine, I talk about this issue, this complicated, my psychotic mind, my mental instability, the element of shame and guilt.  

Wayne Shipman     00:47:29    When those things take over positive thinking is not possible. Looking forward to the future and trying to make plans and trying to adjust and all that stuff. You're talking gibberish because when you're stuck in a story of I'm ashamed. I'm a disgrace to my country. I don't belong here. I don't fit in what it led to. I was at my homeless camp out in the woods. In 2005, I actually had a rope up in a tree and when you hear my other content, this was real for me, but I didn't put the rope up there to end my life. I was actually living on a hillside out in the woods and there were a lot of rats and raccoons that would come up and take my food scraps. And I would hike off to town and come back. And my plastic containers would be chewed into, they were getting into my food. I threw this rope up over this limb and I hung my backpack up there at night. And that's where I kept my food. One morning, I was boiling water for coffee, and I saw this rope up there with nothing on it. And it was just kind of swaying in the breeze.  

Wayne Shipman    00:48:36    I had already been thinking about it and I had already been entertaining. The idea, like what is suicide and what does it matter? Anyway, a part of my recovery began with my rock bottom.  Most of us do not want to experience what we're actually feeling and thinking when we're at rock bottom, right? And we will do anything to numb the mind or quiet the voices, right? And that's where a lot of the drug addictions and opioid addictions, addictions to the painkillers. All that stuff starts because we don't want to deal with the voices anymore and they won't stop. They don't stop. What I started realizing was I had to make a choice. I'm either going to go all in and find a way to be the respectable person that I want to be among everyone else. I want to find a way to fit in or stop lying to myself.  

Wayne Shipman   00:49:33    Man puts on a new song and does it one morning. I had to make a decision and I chose not to. I cut the rope down. I actually shredded it into tiny little pieces. I cut into like four-inch pieces. I just sat there for like an hour, cutting that rope into little bitty pieces. And it was sort of a ritual for me that I'm not coming here again. I don't care what dark path I ended up on. I don't care what terrible things happen in my life. I'm not done. My story's not done. My children are going to find out about me out here. And I knew they would be having children eventually. Now fast forward, I've got six grandchildren in the family. If I would've done that, the last thing they would know is their grandpa was a homeless guy that killed himself out in the woods, and of my story.  

Wayne Shipman     00:50:23    And as far as I was concerned, and I hope your audience can hear this. I observed better than that because of my intentions, it wasn't, I didn't do anything to deserve military honors, but I got, I really didn't get. I didn't deserve to be treated like a disgrace to my country over my girlfriend.  I chose to find a path, real answers. I wanted somebody to give me the bullet point way. Like, what do I have to do? And what? They were telling me, they were telling me the same damn thing. My family and friends have been telling me for years, man, you got to take responsibility. Even if it wasn't your fault. Even if your ex-wife took advantage of you and took the house and ran off with your best buddy, you got to take responsibility and move on.  

Wayne Shipman     00:51:14    If you choose not to move on, you stay there. You sit there. That's your little foxhole with your little torment. And that's the voices in your head that you live with. If you choose to stay there, they won. And that's what really started to be honest with you if you want to bleep this out. But it pissed me off that my mother and my step-dad and the five marriages I witnessed growing up as a teenager and all the stuff defeated me. I got angry because I deserved to be recognized for my intention. I wanted to be a respectable person. I just started going to the bookstores. I started picking up audiotapes and listening to them, even though to me at that time, it sounded sissy. That's a sissy thing to do to go pick up, Wayne Dyer, how to be, experienced, self-love now six steps to emotional happiness.  

Wayne Shipman     00:52:13    Well, you need to start listening, right? And it goes back to like, if you don't want to paint if you don't want to build engines on a car, then go listen to some stuff and start trying to find a better voice to live with. I like that, but there are a thousand voices out there telling us we deserve to live a life of meaning and purpose. And when you decide once and for all, if I was willing at 19 years old to run off into the battlefield, if that's what they told me, it's because it was an honorable thing. And I believed in it. I was patriotic cut me anywhere. I bled red, white, and blue. Well, when I was sitting out in the homeless camp, in the woods, smoking pot and thinking about hanging myself with a rope, just because I felt disgraced. It's the voices I had in my head. I turned it around and I'm walking straight front like we did in the military. We walked towards the threat. We don't cower down. We might hide under cover, but we're waiting for the moment. Right? We're waiting for the moment to have the advantage to move forward and stop the threat. If the voices in your head are telling you, you're worthless, you're a disgrace and you choose not to fight back. Then. It's kind of like, you're bad. You're not taking responsibility for it. That's where I'm at.  

Scott DeLuzio  00:53:33    Well, I think that's a great message. And, I think if anyone takes anything away from this, I hope that they know that they can keep going. They can keep trying, and, and not give into those voices in their head. I think that's a great place to wrap this one up, I think that that's a great message to have. Thank you again, for coming on the show, taking the time to share your story, and your willingness to be open and vulnerable about your story.  It really has been a pleasure, hearing from you and hearing your story. And I know that this story is going to impact some people, who are fortunate enough to listen to it. Thank you.  

Wayne Shipman     00:54:22    And they need to know that it's okay if it didn't work out, even if I got a buddy right now, I'm telling you this as a parting message. He's 60 years old right now. The military can't use him anymore, but he's as authentic as they come, but he has a golden heart. He has a golden heart and he kept telling me when we first met, he's all used up. He's all used up there. Ain't nothing out here because he's all used up. Well, that's because he can't go on missions anymore. And he can't fit into the civilian world, but I've convinced him through friendship to accept the fact that it's okay. It's okay. It's okay. That America is not the John Wayne America that we saw in the Western movies. It's okay. There are politicians who say what they say, they get in the office and then they do what they do.  

Wayne Shipman    00:55:13    I'm just one person. I'm one man out here. And I'm not with my team anymore. I'm not in anybody's platoon anymore. And I don't answer to a chain of command, but when I lay down at night, I'm experiencing genuine self-love and acceptance because I've decided that that's all it's okay, whatever happened back there, it's okay. I can accept it, but now my children are coming around and this podcast stuff, man, if you can find other former military that have similar stories like mine, it's a way to really get it out of your system, but I'm kind of forced to censor myself. I can't just get on here and F-bomb and be angry. I had to get all that out of my system. Now, hopefully, I have something that people can actually listen to and, and, and carry away with it. It's okay. If it didn't work out. That's my message.  

Scott DeLuzio   00:56:08    Yeah. And I think for sure people are going to take something away from this story and your message. I think it really is an inspiring message where you're able to pick yourself up and dust yourself off and find your own path to healing and getting in that better place. And, with that again, thank you for coming on and joining me. I really appreciate it. Thanks for listening to the Drive On Podcast. If you want to check out more episodes or learn more about the show, you can visit our website, DriveOnPodcast.com. We're also on Instagram, Facebook, Twitter, LinkedIn, and YouTube at Drive On Podcast.

]]> 00:57:03 <![CDATA[Maintaining Healthy Military and Veteran Relationships]]> Tue, 15 Mar 2022 08:00:00 +0000 Scott DeLuzio https://drive-on-podcast.castos.com/podcasts/2296/episodes/maintaining-healthy-military-and-veteran-relationships Elizabeth Polinsky is a marriage counselor for military and veteran families, and the host of The Communicate & Connect Podcast for Military Relationships. In this episode, we talk about maintaining healthy military families.

Links & Resources

Transcript

Scott DeLuzio   00:00:00    Thanks for tuning into the Drive On Podcast, where we're focused on giving hope and strength to the entire military community. Whether you're a veteran, active duty, guard, reserve, or family member, this podcast will share inspirational stories and resources that are useful to you. I'm your host, Scott DeLuzio, and now let's get on with the show. Hey, everybody, welcome back to the Drive On Podcast. Today, my guest is Elizabeth Polinsky. Elizabeth is a marriage counselor in the Norfolk Virginia area, and she's also the host of the communicate and connect podcast for military relationships. In this episode, we're going to talk about military families and relationships,  and how they are affected by military service and after the military service and once when we become veterans. Welcome to the show, Elizabeth.  

Elizabeth Polinsky   00:00:55    Thank you. I'm excited to be here.  

Scott DeLuzio     00:00:57    Thanks. Why don't you give us a little bit about yourself, your background, and a little bit about what you do?  

Elizabeth Polinsky    00:01:05     Gosh, where to start. I guess I get lots of questions about things like what led me to start focusing really on couples counseling with military couples. And that is pretty much what I do.  I guess that's the real short of it is that I'm a marriage counselor and I work mostly with military and veteran couples, but both my parents were a dual military couple and they ended up getting divorced and that was part of,  just like the challenges that they faced with military life. My mom got out of the military and then my dad stayed in and he actually retired from the Navy and he struggled a lot in relationships.  That was something that was always on my mind.  Then I started working for the department of veterans affairs.  

Elizabeth Polinsky    00:02:03    I used to do a lot of individual and group counseling for the VA. I was one of the only providers who did a type of therapy called cognitive processing therapy for PTSD. also did a lot of work around sexual trauma. One of the things that stood out to me when I was working at the VA was that even though I had a lot of I was working with veterans around mental health. There was depression, anxiety, traumatic events type stuff going on. But a lot of them would tell me stories about things that had happened in their romantic relationships.  They would tell me that was the most painful part of their experience, or that was one of the hardest, that's not quite how you say that.  Most hard is not the right phrasing, but one of the hardest parts about their experiences with them, with all of their military experiences, was the pain that had happened in their romantic relationships.  

Elizabeth Polinsky   00:03:09     When I moved to Norfolk, my husband is Navy. I'm a military spouse. When we got stationed here, I decided I wanted to switch to doing couples counseling, focusing specifically on military couples, to see if I can hopefully prevent some of that stuff from happening. That is a little bit about me. Like I said, do counseling and then I do have my podcast. I also f...

]]> full 158 false Elizabeth Polinsky is a marriage counselor for military and veteran families, and the host of The Communicate & Connect Podcast for Military Relationships. In this episode, we talk about maintaining healthy military families.

Links & Resources

Transcript

Scott DeLuzio   00:00:00    Thanks for tuning into the Drive On Podcast, where we're focused on giving hope and strength to the entire military community. Whether you're a veteran, active duty, guard, reserve, or family member, this podcast will share inspirational stories and resources that are useful to you. I'm your host, Scott DeLuzio, and now let's get on with the show. Hey, everybody, welcome back to the Drive On Podcast. Today, my guest is Elizabeth Polinsky. Elizabeth is a marriage counselor in the Norfolk Virginia area, and she's also the host of the communicate and connect podcast for military relationships. In this episode, we're going to talk about military families and relationships,  and how they are affected by military service and after the military service and once when we become veterans. Welcome to the show, Elizabeth.  

Elizabeth Polinsky   00:00:55    Thank you. I'm excited to be here.  

Scott DeLuzio     00:00:57    Thanks. Why don't you give us a little bit about yourself, your background, and a little bit about what you do?  

Elizabeth Polinsky    00:01:05     Gosh, where to start. I guess I get lots of questions about things like what led me to start focusing really on couples counseling with military couples. And that is pretty much what I do.  I guess that's the real short of it is that I'm a marriage counselor and I work mostly with military and veteran couples, but both my parents were a dual military couple and they ended up getting divorced and that was part of,  just like the challenges that they faced with military life. My mom got out of the military and then my dad stayed in and he actually retired from the Navy and he struggled a lot in relationships.  That was something that was always on my mind.  Then I started working for the department of veterans affairs.  

Elizabeth Polinsky    00:02:03    I used to do a lot of individual and group counseling for the VA. I was one of the only providers who did a type of therapy called cognitive processing therapy for PTSD. also did a lot of work around sexual trauma. One of the things that stood out to me when I was working at the VA was that even though I had a lot of I was working with veterans around mental health. There was depression, anxiety, traumatic events type stuff going on. But a lot of them would tell me stories about things that had happened in their romantic relationships.  They would tell me that was the most painful part of their experience, or that was one of the hardest, that's not quite how you say that.  Most hard is not the right phrasing, but one of the hardest parts about their experiences with them, with all of their military experiences, was the pain that had happened in their romantic relationships.  

Elizabeth Polinsky   00:03:09     When I moved to Norfolk, my husband is Navy. I'm a military spouse. When we got stationed here, I decided I wanted to switch to doing couples counseling, focusing specifically on military couples, to see if I can hopefully prevent some of that stuff from happening. That is a little bit about me. Like I said, do counseling and then I do have my podcast. I also found after starting to do a lot of counseling with military couples that it's very hard to do,  scheduling is very hard for military couples, just with the chaotic schedules. then a lot of people were not comfortable with going to counseling.  I made it as a resource just so that people could still learn about how to improve their marriages specifically in regards to military life. Whether even if they didn't have time or their schedules didn't allow for it or their partner just wasn't willing. That is the story.  

Scott DeLuzio   00:04:26    Yeah. that makes a lot of sense too because I could imagine that there in the military, there's a lot of people who move from time to time and they may even, even if they are comfortable with going and seeing you for a period of time, they may only have a limited amount of time that they're able to go and see you. Then, eventually, they pack up and move and they may not have somebody that they know or trust in the area that they moved to.  so if they can continue listening to you on your podcast on their own time. That may be a helpful addition as well. I definitely think that the podcast angle makes sense. We'll talk a little bit more about that in a little bit.  But in your experience, as you've worked with various military couples and veteran couples, what are some of the challenges, the unique challenges that they face,  as opposed to just say your typical civilian couple that maybe never served in the military?  

Elizabeth Polinsky  00:05:35     A few different things come to my mind and I'm having thoughts about things that are specific to your active duty military couples, as well as some things that impact veterans. I might talk a little bit about both, but, let's start with just the active-duty ones. The kind of obvious first ones are deployment and long-distance and the frequent moves and the social isolation, being away from friends and family, the challenges of reintegrating like, if somebody goes on deployment, the kind of rules and the routines of the family shift, and then whenever they come back from deployment the rules and the routines shift again.  I guess we could just say it's sort of a lack of stability. The constant shifting and changing puts a lot of strain on relationships.  

Elizabeth Polinsky    00:06:38    Part of what helps relationships function is actually being in a routine as much as possible. I would kind of lump those all together under the active-duty military couple. But then with my veteran couples, his would go for both active duty and military couples, but when I work with them in couples counseling, I find that I actually have to help, undo some of the training from military life. Service members tend to be very skilled at compartmentalizing, being very logical and most of their spouses want to know where their emotions are. A lot of what we're doing in couples counseling is helping service members and veterans regain access to their emotions in order to form a deeper emotional connection with their spouses, which then leads to just improved communication, decreased fighting, things like that. 

Scott DeLuzio    00:07:56    Having your emotions in a box in the closet is not the right thing in that case right here.  

Scott DeLuzio     00:08:05   I definitely know what you're talking about in terms of the different dynamics in the family when someone goes away on deployment. Things change, and then when they come back, things change again.  When I was deployed to Afghanistan, my oldest son, he was born about a month and a half before I was deployed. Before that I wasn't a dad, I didn't know anything about being a dad.  Like any first-time parent, there's no handbook that comes along with the kid, but that tells you what you're supposed to do and how life is supposed to be different or whatever. And then, throwing a deployment on top of that.  Then when I came back home, he was already obviously a little bit older and my wife had gotten into a routine where she was taking care of the baby on her own and she just kind of had it.  

Scott DeLuzio   00:09:02    I came in sort of feeling like an outsider almost in my own house, not in a bad way. My wife didn't do anything wrong. It was just like, it seemed like she just had it.  I nailed it down. She just had everything. I was like, okay, well, this is cool. Where do I step in? What do I have? I, I should do something. But I didn't quite know what. And there was a little bit of that dynamic going on as well. You're talking about communication. In talking about your emotions and your feelings, what are some of the traps that people fall into? I know compartmentalization of your emotions is probably one big thing. Are there any other traps like that these couples might get into and how do we get out of these traps and how do we not compartmentalize that we are able to open up to our spouse?  

Elizabeth Polinsky   00:10:08     I think the first thing that comes to my mind when you ask that is, some research that's done at the Gottman Institute, by John and Julie Gottman.  I think they're psychologists.  But for sure, they are doctors of some kind, and they put couples in a lab and they kind of watch couples live together for a few days and then see how they interact. But anyway, some of their research talks about something called the four horsemen of the apocalypse, which are communication patterns that, if they continue kind of unchecked, tend to lead towards divorce. and the four are criticism, defensiveness, contempt, and stonewalling. Let me just think for a second, how I want to explain this. I'm either not in touch with my emotions, or I am not in a place where it's comfortable to share my emotions in a relationship, then I tend to be left with those four options for communicating.  

Elizabeth Polinsky    00:11:31    If I'm not aware of my emotions, I might get critical or defensive, or if in our relationship, it's not a safe place for me to share my emotions. I might get critical and defensive because those are my protective ways of trying to communicate my emotions and, and get my needs met.  The problem with that is that if I am critical, then my partner usually responds defensively. And then when my partner spawns a defensive response defensively, I get defensive. And then when I get defensive, they get critical. Then they get kind of critical and I get defensive and it keeps going back and forth until eventually we have contempt and stonewalling.  And that is, I think about the challenges around communication that couples face.   

Scott DeLuzio     00:12:31    What is the best way to break out of a bad cycle? If we're in that bad criticism and defense back and forth cycle,  and it seems like it's just going to continue fueling itself without some sort of outside action just stopping it in its tracks and getting it to move away from that. What do we do to solve that problem?  

Elizabeth Polinsky    00:13:01    Yes, yes. Well, couples counseling obviously helps, but I think the first step is recognizing that this is the loop. It's kind of the vicious cycle that you're stuck in. But even that will go a long way if we because often couples feel kind of like against each other. If they can recognize that they're both trapped in this communication cycle, then they can usually team up against it. Once they can recognize it and start teaming up against it, then they can work on creating an atmosphere where they can share their emotions. One thing that they can do is turn a blame into a claim. Instead of getting critical or blaming my partner, I can claim what I need. And I can say, this is what I'm feeling, I'm feeling lonely, or I'm feeling frustrated, that you didn't include me. and talking about what it is that I'm wanting or needing, instead of talking about what my partner isn't doing or what I don't like that they're doing.  

Scott DeLuzio    00:14:31    But I mean that makes a lot of sense. And even thinking about some of just yourself, your own thoughts and stuff, how your thoughts influence your behaviors and your emotions and everything that that could be a vicious cycle to where if you have negative thoughts. That's going to create negative behaviors and negative emotions and all that sort of stuff as well. Really, it's just a matter of breaking that cycle and, and cutting it off so that you can continue moving forward in the direction that you want to go. And I think the more complicated thing is in a relationship when there's two people, because if it's just something that's happening in my own head, I can tell myself, okay, well, I need to break the cycle and I need to do this, but if now I'm getting these outside influences where there's the other person in the relationship and they're fueling this cycle then it's something that you have to work on together, I suppose.

Elizabeth Polinsky    00:15:37     Yes and no. Ideally, yes, you want to be able to work on it together, but if, for some reason you're just in a very stubborn marriage, you're really the only one working on it by yourself. That's typically not the case, but if it were, just you working on changing how you communicate will likely have an impact on your partner, there is sort of a reciprocal nature. If it's a vicious loop. Let's say my partner is critical or defensive, even if I can change what I'm doing, I can stop the loop. At least maybe not permanently, but maybe it doesn't change. My partner is going to have criticism or defensiveness, but it can change the escalation of it into a larger situation. 

Scott DeLuzio     00:16:35    Okay. That does make sense because it does take two people in that cycle. And, if one of them can break that cycle, then it could help it. Like you said, it may not, immediately,  can't cancel it out but it may help get you to that point. That does make sense. 

Elizabeth Polinsky   00:16:56     Can I add, can I go fast? Especially if I can get to the part where I'm sharing my more vulnerable feelings. You had said or had sorta talked about the mental spiral or the cycle that's happening internally. A lot of times in a couple of relationships, maybe something makes me feel like my partner doesn't care about me or that they think negatively of me,  whatever I'm doing is not good enough, or that they don't accept something along these lines. The natural response is to then kind of get angry, but the underlying feelings are usually feelings of some sort of projection or insecurity type thing. If I can get to the point where I can recognize those emotions and then talk about those emotions with my partner, let's say my partner gets critical.  

Elizabeth Polinsky    00:18:04    If I change things, if I don't get defensive back, that's a really great step. If I can do that, that's pretty successful. But then if I can go even further and say, okay, that's to me that sounded critical. And that bothered me. I didn't like it. That made me feel like you don't care about my opinion or something like that that has even more power to change that cycle.  because then my partner hears about their impact on me, and most partners really do care. Then that tends to influence them.  

Scott DeLuzio     00:18:50     That makes sense too. I'm glad you added that in,  I guess maybe before a relationship gets to that point where they're in that cycle, it'd be great if they all just started off on the right foot and never had gotten to that point and to begin with. But, what are some ways that couples can start their marriage off on the right foot, to get into the right cycle, as opposed to that wrong cycle that leads them down that vicious cycle that you were talking about before?  

Elizabeth Polinsky   00:19:32    I wish I could tell you it's preventable pretty much. Every couple has a cycle. It's just how extreme are we talking? But there are things that can help improve the relationship. Keep it kind of strong, to begin with, that can help prevent it from being intense and, I guess I'm thinking where to start. I actually just had a wedding photographer ask me to create this whole checklist of things for getting ready for marriage. What do you do to get started off? I think I came up with 12 things. I don't know if I can remember them all off the top of my head, but one of the ones that I tell couples if I only had one tip to ever give a couple, it would be to have monthly marriage meetings where we put it on the calendar for doing it.  

Elizabeth Polinsky   00:20:38    And we're going to talk about everything that is maybe hard to talk about. We're going to talk about how our quality time is. We both feel we have enough quality time and how's the quality of quality time. We'll talk about our finances, and kind of get on the same page with money. We could talk about parenting in that category. My husband and I have done these for years now, pretty much since we started dating. And there are just lots of topics you can cover in them. We'll cover our health, we'll cover family updates. Things about couples, sex lives. Those are really important conversations to have because many couples don't even talk about it. Everything that can get covered in a monthly marriage meeting. And then it's also a really great way to be on the same page together in general, but also to address any big life changes. If somebody was about to deploy or was about to move with a PCS, then we can be on the same page with our planning for it, and check in with each other about those things during that time. Other things would be, if you're not married yet, maybe planning the wedding would be something that could get talked about or planning the honeymoon, those types of things could get talked about during a marriage meeting as well.  

Scott DeLuzio     00:22:16    Those Are definitely big topics. You want to make sure you're both on the same page with all of that stuff because that time can be pretty stressful. You don't want to miss out on and assume what the other person's thinking and, and turn out you're wrong or whatever.  I think a good piece of advice to give to someone is communication. Having that meeting with your spouse and communicating those hard to talk about topics, and knowing that you're in a safe place to have those conversations. Obviously, if you've gotten married, you care enough about each other, that you want good things for each other. Ideally anyways, I can't say that for necessarily every relationship that's out there, but hopefully, that's the case. But when you have these conversations, it's with the goal in mind of improving and bettering the relationship. If you just keep things boxed away, whether it's emotional or other problems that might be going on, it's not gonna help anything. Talking about it and having those open conversations, I think it makes a lot of sense. And if it requires putting it on the calendar to do that, on a regular basis and then, that makes sense too, right?  

Elizabeth Polinsky    00:23:50    Can I add something real fast? It does quite a few things. Especially with the hard topics, couples tend to want to avoid the hard ones because they're hard. It sets aside time to make sure we are talking about the hard ones. It keeps couples on the same page, and it actually helps them enjoy their time together more because they don't have to have those conversations outside of the marriage meeting. I mean, they could if they need to, but knowing that there's a dedicated time to have a discussion around a topic like this helps couples just enjoy their date night instead of using date night to catch up about the kids and to catch up about, oh, my mom or your mom is sick. 

Scott DeLuzio    00:24:50. Because that's the last thing you want to do when you're sitting there at a nice dinner or something like that is to be bogged down with those hard topics that you maybe don't really want to discuss. And then you're thinking when's the check coming? Let's wrap this thing up. That's not exactly the place you want to be in, I wanna switch gears a little bit and talk about some of the challenges that you talked about specific to the military couples. The people who are dealing with deployments or different things. What are some of the things that you can do to stay connected during a deployment, and, and deal with the emotions of some of those harder times, outside of maybe those monthly meetings?  

Elizabeth Polinsky    00:25:49    Hmm. I mean, it's pretty hard to have a monthly meeting while you're deployed. I suppose there is something that I got from, I used to do these workshops when I worked at the VA called the pairs curriculum but they were called Warrior To Soulmate workshops. And every, every VA has them and they're usually free for veterans to attempt. And they're typically on the weekend, two days covering different sorts of communication skills and relationship skills. They're usually provided by the chaplain service. Wherever the nearest VA hospital is. One of the things that they would teach is something called a daily temperature reading. That's just what they called it, but basically, it's a daily check-in, that's really tiny. Let me see if I can remember it here.  

Elizabeth Polinsky    00:27:05    I think it was appreciating new information, puzzles, concerns with recommendations and wishes, hopes, and dreams. That's sort of the order you go in. And that is something that I would probably recommend, deployed couples for one, one partner is deployed. If you don't have a lot of time to talk, that is a great strategy for how to have a conversation, or if you're going to have email chains back and forth, that's a way to stay up-to-date with the things that are important. The first part is just, what do you appreciate about your day, or about your week we're about what's going on in your life? It could be related to the relationship in the family life, or it could just be oh, it snowed, it snowed here over the weekend. And it doesn't typically snow in Norfolk, but, I did appreciate looking in my backyard and just having like the white snow and my dog running around, that's fun.  

Elizabeth Polinsky    00:28:13    That's something that I could do if my partner was deployed, I could write about under the appreciation section then there's new information. Just update information. Our kids got an A in art class, something like that.  Puzzles are things that you're thinking about,  that you're just sharing. You're not sure what you're going to do. Maybe I'm puzzled about if I'm going to go to my parents or your parents for Thanksgiving since you're gone. I don't know what I'm going to do yet. That might be something that I write under puzzles concerning recommendations. If it were me, I'd be like, I'm concerned about your safety. I recommend that you stay alive. That's probably what I would write if it were me and my husband, but any sort of concerns, I'm concerned about the house/ This thing is going on. What do you think?  Could be in that section and then ending with wishes, hopes, and dreams, which is just how they would phrase. Seeing something positive that I'm hoping for, I'm looking forward to when you get back or I hope you are having a good day, or I hope you enjoy visiting whatever city you're in.  

Scott DeLuzio     00:29:57    And that framework, especially, like you said, on a deployment, when someone is pressed for time, they may not have a lot of time. If they're able to make a phone call at all, they may not have more than five or 10 minutes that they can make that call, and if you stick within that framework, you're not just talking about things that are surface level. If the weather is something that you're appreciative of like you were with the snow, that's a different story, but, but you're not just saying, oh, well it's sunny, it's not raining. It's all that kind of stuff. Let's get something a little bit more in-depth here. And talk about the things that, that matter,  in that conversation, because you don't want to get to the end of that 10 minutes then all you really found out was that it was sunny and or that it snowed or whatever you want.  

Elizabeth Polinsky    00:30:58    You want to get into a little bit more than just that. Having a framework in mind is a good idea. I think that that does make some sense to, to put that together and, and kind of know that beforehand, before you are deployed and then two or three months into it, all you've been doing is talking about the weather and things like that. You want to have something,  upfront, so what to expect when you're making that phone call or writing that email when you're communicating back home.  

Elizabeth Polinsky    00:31:35   I think because I hear a lot about how we don't talk and then I finally get to get to talk to them and we get in a fight or it's just like this venting thing, that happens or worse where you just don't even know what to talk about because so much has happened. Where do you even start? That gives people a way to start in a way to keep it meaningful and generally pleasant as well.  

Scott DeLuzio     00:32:09    And what about the times when someone does have something that they need to vent about? You may have that limited time frame to talk about things and that does fall out, maybe outside of the framework that you just kind of laid out there but every once in a while someone, someone just needs to vent and they need to get something off their chest. Maybe it's just something that's happening at home. It has nothing to do with the relationship, they just need someone to talk to. And here's an ear and I need to talk. I'm going to just dump all this stuff out on you, but is that the right time and place to do it, when we're considering deployments when someone's away or, or is that something that maybe you find another friend closer to home that you can talk to, over coffee or something like that?  

Elizabeth Polinsky  00:33:08    Is it okay to do while your partner is deployed? That's dependent on, based on your partner's deployment experience? I think so. I think the best route would be to just ask your partner like I have something I want to vent about is, is that okay if I vent to you right now about what's going on and let them tell you if they're in a mental space to be able to handle the venting or even, especially if you only have 10 minutes, do they have something that they want to talk to you about? That's maybe something you guys could negotiate together and maybe, maybe can I vent for two minutes? Then you use the rest of the time for other topics, but it is helpful to have somebody else to vent to you like a friend.  

Elizabeth Polinsky    00:34:07     Another thing that you can do is, and this may sound funny, but you can have kind of an imaginary conversation with your spouse. This is actually a really great coping skill.  It sounds kind of funny. I think sometimes when I mention it to people, I can sort of ask myself, what would my partner tell me if they were here and I could vent to them about this? How, what would they do? How would they be supportive of me? Would they have advice or recommendations? And that, sort of imagining how it would be if they were here with me, is a great way to, to sort of in a way, get support from your partner, even though they're not there at that moment.  

Scott DeLuzio    00:34:58    That's true. I hadn't actually considered something where you just think about what, okay, what would my spouse do, or what would they say whatever the situation is. When I was deployed, my wife actually had a Teddy bear, and it had on the chest of the Teddy bear. There's this little plastic window just big enough for a picture to go in. And she put a picture of me in the Teddy bear and she just had it sitting on the bed next to her.  Just as a little reminder that I wasn't there, but, I was still there for her., I can just imagine, and I don't know if this is true or not, but I could just imagine my wife sitting there and talking to the bear as if that was me and having that kind of conversation. Where it's okay, well, what would Scott do?  

Scott DeLuzio   00:35:59    What would, what would he say in this situation? There's a lot of truth in that. 

Elizabeth Polinsky, I think that that could definitely be a useful tactic. 

Elizabeth Polinsky    00:36:11    Yeah, my partner even when it's rough, just the nature of marriage is that my partner is my biggest support system, even in the hard times, even when the marriage is kind of on the rocks, my partner is still my partner and they're my support system. And if I can kind of imagine how they would support me through what I'm going through bad is a really wonderful coping skill. That's still, it is about the relationship.  

Scott DeLuzio     00:36:43    Yeah, exactly. In the beginning of this conversation, you had mentioned the kind of compartmentalization of emotions and how in the military, we get really good at that. And we kind of have to unlearn that over time. What are some ways that you've worked with people to unlearn those types of things and bring out those emotions? Is it something that is easy to be unlearned, or is it that's something that takes a lot of effort?  

Elizabeth Polinsky    00:37:25    I suppose everyone is different, on how easy or difficult it is. probably how long they have been doing it. Some families, even when you're a kid, when you're growing up, some families, never talk about emotions and, emotions, aren't something to have or talk about and you just kinda move on if you come from that environment and then you join the military and then you retire from the military and then you do some sort of military contracting something or other. And now we're talking about maybe 60 years of no emotions it's going to take a while. but if I had a family where we talked a lot about emotions and them, I did four years in the military and ended something else, it's probably going to be a lot shorter.  

Elizabeth Polinsky    00:38:25   But the thing about how military members and veterans tend to cope with emotions is that they have an emotion and then they move on really quickly, but it's not that they don't have emotions. It's biologically hardwired in the human body to have emotions. You can't not have them. It's really just about recognizing them and giving back in touch with the emotions, and that can, that can be done in a variety of ways. I think you could go to therapy, different types of therapies, help in different ways with something like that. But if I was just trying to think of something kind of quick and easy to start working on that it would be, especially, for people who like to compartmentalize, I might want to identify my thoughts first. Every time I have an emotion, I have three parts to my emotion.  

Elizabeth Polinsky    00:39:40    I have a physiological response in my body, such as my heart rate, going up, my breathing, changing muscle tension, things like this, the physiological response, I have thoughts about what's happening and then I have a behavior urge and sometimes it's more easy to recognize the thought or the behavior urge because those are somehow more acceptable parts of the emotion, 4 million for military guys. I would just start thinking about what I tend to do and what thoughts I have, and that will help you figure out your emotions. If I feel angry, I might want to yell and scream or punch a wall if I'm really angry and I might have thoughts, this person is such a jerk or something more intense than that.  If I feel anxious, I might notice that I'm kind of thinking about how things could go wrong.  

Elizabeth Polinsky   00:41:00     Sort of planning for all the different contingencies that is a sign of anxiety. and someone might notice that first, they might notice that they are planning and thinking through all the possible ways something could go and noticing a thought I need to prepare for the worst. They might be able to get in tune with that part of their emotion before they're able to label it and recognize it as anxiety. To answer your question in a more direct way, I'm starting to track out what are my physiological sensations, what are my thoughts, and what are my behaviors that all go together with the situation, and that will help somebody start identifying and getting in tune with their emotions.  

Scott DeLuzio     00:41:58    And that helps bring those out of the box that they have them stored away in and shoved under the table or under the bed or wherever they have them stored. Start to pull those things out. When you start to recognize them and, and everything that, that helps to get those out there. Then you can have more open and honest communication with your spouse. I want to give you a chance to talk a little bit about your podcast and where people can go to find out more about your counseling if they're there in your area and your podcasts so they can follow along and get some help from you, whether they're close to you or not.  

Elizabeth Polinsky   00:42:50    I'll start with the podcast. My podcast is called the communicate and connect podcast for military relationships that is very specific to military relationships. It does cover lots of helpful tips and things for a couple of relationships generally, but the focus really is on military relationships and how to strengthen military marriages. and that is of course on any podcast platform that someone wants to listen to it on. And the website for that is communicateandconnectpodcast.com. I am also a marriage counselor. That is my full-time job. I am currently located in Norfolk, Virginia, but of course, we'll probably move with the military. At some point, I do online counseling in multiple states. I can provide counseling in South Carolina, Arkansas, Virginia, and Nevada soon. I'll be able to do that in Nevada. At the moment, my office for in-person therapy is the relationship center in East Beach, Norfolk, Virginia. That's where I can be found, information about that is at elizabethpolinskycounseling.com.  

Scott DeLuzio    00:44:13    And I will have links to both the podcast and your counseling services in the show notes so that people can, find out more about that if they're there in your local area, or even in any of those other areas that you mentioned so that they can utilize those services, if, if that makes sense for them.  I do like the remote aspect of it,  for, for some people, because some people just aren't comfortable going and walking into a place like that and, and having those conversations in person, and if they can do it on the other side of a screen that might take away a little bit of that, anxiety about going into, the office like that. That's definitely a great service and it's probably something that, COVID has, has brought up and made, made it a little bit easier, to normalize that type of thing. That's a great service as well. Thank you again for coming on the show in joining me and, telling us a little bit about, what you do and, and how, military and veteran couples can,, get on the right path if they're not already and, and stay on that path, to help improve their relationships and, and have a good, good relationship going, going throughout their, their entire marriage. Thank you again, for joining me.  

Elizabeth Polinsky    00:45:43    Thanks for having me.  

Scott DeLuzio    00:45:46    Thanks for listening to the Drive On Podcast. If you want to check out more episodes or learn more about the show, you can visit our website DriveOnPodcast.com. We're also on Instagram, Facebook, Twitter, LinkedIn, and YouTube Drive On Podcast. 

]]> 00:46:10 <![CDATA[Developing Grit]]> Thu, 10 Mar 2022 08:00:00 +0000 Scott DeLuzio https://drive-on-podcast.castos.com/podcasts/2296/episodes/developing-grit David Fivecoat spent 24 years in the Army including tours to Iraq and Afghanistan. He now runs The Fivecoat Consulting Group, which helps develop gritty leaders. In this episode, he discusses how to develop personal grit.

Links & Resources

Transcript

Scott DeLuzio    00:00:00    Thanks for tuning into the Drive On Podcast where we're focused on giving hope and strength to the entire military community, whether you're a veteran, active duty, guard, reserve, or a family member, this podcast will share inspirational stories and resources that are useful to you. I'm your host, Scott DeLuzio. Now let's get on with the show. Hey everybody, welcome back to the Drive On Podcast. Today, my guest is David Fivecoat. David served 24 years as a US Army Paratrooper as well as four combat tours in Iraq and Afghanistan. And since leaving the army, he founded the Fivecoat Consulting Group where he helps develop gritty leaders. David is also the author of the book, Grow Your Grit, and he's here today to talk about developing personal grit. Welcome to the show, David.  

David Fivecoat    00:00:52    Thank you for having me on, I'm excited about this. I've listened to several of your podcasts and I really appreciate you having me on.  

Scott DeLuzio     00:00:59    I'm glad you were able to make it on the show and come on and share your information as well because I think, the gritty side of things is something that's important. I think we all have the potential in us to have that gritty side of us come out.  But it's just a matter of tapping into that. I think your experience with what you do now will be a good help there. But before we get into that, why don't you tell us a little bit about yourself and your background? I know you and I both were in Afghanistan around the same time. I'd love to hear a little bit about where you were and what you did over there. And then we could talk a little bit about that for a few minutes.  

David Fivecoat   00:01:39    A little bit about me.  I grew up in Ohio, no military sort of background in the family, but decided to go to West Point because I loved reading military history and of course, all the World War II generals had attended West Point. It was really a good fit when it came time to apply to colleges. That's how I ended up at West Point and throughout my army career, I was always of the sort of mind that. I'll stick around in the army until it stops being fun. Every couple of years, when it started to look like it wasn't going to be fun, there'd be a new job or a new challenge or something.  

David Fivecoat  00:02:24    And that kept me going., I did 24 years in the army. I was commissioned as an infantry officer. Along the way, I had the opportunity to serve in Kosovo Bosnia, three trips to Iraq, and a trip to Afghanistan. My final job in the army was I ran the army's airborne school and ranger school. While I had the oversight of ranger school, we actually led the gender integration of ranger school. For your listeners that aren't familiar with ranger school: ranger school is the Army's premier small-unit leadership school. It's been in existence since 1952. There's about 80 or 90,000 graduates. Up until 2015, those graduates were all male. In 2015, we tried to run a pilot program. 19 women came to ranger school and three women were the first three women to earn the ranger tab. That was a pivotal part of the Army's decision to open all jobs and all units to women and provide equal opportunity to everyone that serves in the army. Since 2015, ranger schools have graduated almost a hundred women and several thousand men in that same timeframe.  

Scott D...

]]> full 157 false David Fivecoat spent 24 years in the Army including tours to Iraq and Afghanistan. He now runs The Fivecoat Consulting Group, which helps develop gritty leaders. In this episode, he discusses how to develop personal grit.

Links & Resources

Transcript

Scott DeLuzio    00:00:00    Thanks for tuning into the Drive On Podcast where we're focused on giving hope and strength to the entire military community, whether you're a veteran, active duty, guard, reserve, or a family member, this podcast will share inspirational stories and resources that are useful to you. I'm your host, Scott DeLuzio. Now let's get on with the show. Hey everybody, welcome back to the Drive On Podcast. Today, my guest is David Fivecoat. David served 24 years as a US Army Paratrooper as well as four combat tours in Iraq and Afghanistan. And since leaving the army, he founded the Fivecoat Consulting Group where he helps develop gritty leaders. David is also the author of the book, Grow Your Grit, and he's here today to talk about developing personal grit. Welcome to the show, David.  

David Fivecoat    00:00:52    Thank you for having me on, I'm excited about this. I've listened to several of your podcasts and I really appreciate you having me on.  

Scott DeLuzio     00:00:59    I'm glad you were able to make it on the show and come on and share your information as well because I think, the gritty side of things is something that's important. I think we all have the potential in us to have that gritty side of us come out.  But it's just a matter of tapping into that. I think your experience with what you do now will be a good help there. But before we get into that, why don't you tell us a little bit about yourself and your background? I know you and I both were in Afghanistan around the same time. I'd love to hear a little bit about where you were and what you did over there. And then we could talk a little bit about that for a few minutes.  

David Fivecoat   00:01:39    A little bit about me.  I grew up in Ohio, no military sort of background in the family, but decided to go to West Point because I loved reading military history and of course, all the World War II generals had attended West Point. It was really a good fit when it came time to apply to colleges. That's how I ended up at West Point and throughout my army career, I was always of the sort of mind that. I'll stick around in the army until it stops being fun. Every couple of years, when it started to look like it wasn't going to be fun, there'd be a new job or a new challenge or something.  

David Fivecoat  00:02:24    And that kept me going., I did 24 years in the army. I was commissioned as an infantry officer. Along the way, I had the opportunity to serve in Kosovo Bosnia, three trips to Iraq, and a trip to Afghanistan. My final job in the army was I ran the army's airborne school and ranger school. While I had the oversight of ranger school, we actually led the gender integration of ranger school. For your listeners that aren't familiar with ranger school: ranger school is the Army's premier small-unit leadership school. It's been in existence since 1952. There's about 80 or 90,000 graduates. Up until 2015, those graduates were all male. In 2015, we tried to run a pilot program. 19 women came to ranger school and three women were the first three women to earn the ranger tab. That was a pivotal part of the Army's decision to open all jobs and all units to women and provide equal opportunity to everyone that serves in the army. Since 2015, ranger schools have graduated almost a hundred women and several thousand men in that same timeframe.  

Scott DeLuzio     00:03:54   I was actually just going to ask you if you had a frame of reference for how many women have made it through ranger school in that time period, but you beat me to it and you answered that question already.  You've definitely had quite the career with the deployments and all the experience that you have had. Tell me about this trip to Afghanistan and your job. I always like to talk to people who were there around the same time that I was, and just hear their side of what they did there. It's nice to hear from somebody else and hear what they went through and everything. And in that same time period, just to compare notes and see what that was like.  

David Fivecoat   00:04:46    I was excited when I saw that you were there at the same timeframe. We were both there during what was known as that Afghanistan surge, which was 2010. In 2009, I was fortunate enough to be selected to command a third battalion 187 infantry, which is known as the iron rock Hassan's they're based at Fort Campbell, Kentucky.  Tremendous history and lineage. It had already, by that point in time, had done one trip to Afghanistan, three trips to Iraq. We were on the fifth deployment as part of the global war on terror.  We were selected to take over, Western Paktika province, which, if you're not familiar with Paktika, it's in the Southeast corner of Afghanistan, part of the province, borders, Pakistan. My battalion was in an area about a hundred miles north to south and about 50 miles, east to west.  

David Fivecoat    00:05:46    We arranged the four companies that each had a sector, and we did our best to work with our Afghan partners, both the Afghan government and the Afghan and the Afghan police, to try to make Paktika a safer and more secure environment. The Taliban had a few other ideas about that, and we got into some pretty tough fights, along the way. The battalion eventually earned the valorous unit award, for his actions, their impact on Paktika. We had about a hundred folks wounded, and unfortunately, three folks killed in the battalion, but it was about the same time you were there. One question I'd like to ask you, I know you were up in Nanga, a little bit Northeast of where I was, but, what was one kind of cool story that you remember kind of fondly now?  

Scott DeLuzio    00:06:40    Well, looking back on that, it's a good question. Looking back on that deployment, it's not necessarily a fond memory like this was a fun time or anything like that. To me, the thing that stood out was just the stark difference in the contrast between American lives and Afghanistan lines and how we lived just completely different lives and the way we go about our day-to-day and the way they go about their day to day are just polar opposite in a lot of respects. In some respects,  they're very similar, but, in a lot of respects, they're just polar opposite. When we come back home to the United States, we wouldn't want to change any of this for anything.  

Scott DeLuzio     00:07:31    We enjoy the luxuries that we have here and all that kind of stuff. But the people over there they're content with how things are a lot of them. They're content with living in the villages that they live in because that's where they've always lived. And that's where their parents grew up and that's where their parents, their grandparents grew up in all that stuff. They're just content with that. When we think that we can talk to them and say, Hey, well, it could be different. It could be all of this, and this is what you have to do to get that.  And then they're like, well, but we don't want that. We want this, what we have, and this is how it is.  

Scott DeLuzio     00:08:13    And, to me, it just stood out as a very different way of life and a different way of thinking. and especially when you're doing things like trying to win the hearts and minds of the people who are over there, you sort of have to understand their mindset and where they're coming from with a lot of this stuff. And so if you go in there with an American mindset of, oh, this isn't good enough, let's make this more like America, then you might not have a ton of success. And so it was very, very eye-opening when I went over there. But, some of the things that were, kind of funny, that stand out and make me smile a little bit thinking back at it is, just interacting with some of the kids there because, despite all that, I just said, a kid's a kid.  

Scott DeLuzio     00:09:06    I don't care where what country they come from or whatever they're gonna be kids and they're gonna horse around and they're going to have fun and everything. Just our interactions with them would just be funny. Sometimes they'd be little punks, but sometimes they'd be sweet and everything. It was just a nice thing to see a little sense of normalcy in the midst of all the chaos that was going on over there at the time,

David Fivecoat    00:09:34     For some of your listeners that didn't serve in Afghanistan the DEC the dichotomy where you would have folks living in mud and straw huts. They would have cell phones or motorcycles,  and they lived in mud and straw huts for hundreds of years and cooked fires right in the middle of the building. Maybe it didn't have glass windows, but maybe had some sort of parchment or plastic over the windows. It was just an interesting sort of contrast. I'm sure your company, but you guys had a hard existence too. I suspect your base is different from what you're used to now in Arizona.  

Scott DeLuzio    00:10:26    I mean, the climate, the temperature, was very similar to what we have here in Arizona. But the way of life, the electricity instability,  that you're living in a plywood hut basically. It's definitely not the plush accommodations that you have at home that you're typically used to. To your point about the people living in the mud huts, then having walking around with cell phones, I've oftentimes described it as, being dropped into like biblical times where it's like ancient and primitive the way certain people live with the difference of they had cell phones, some of them had cars and, AK 40 sevens and RPGs, but that was the difference. Like it was basically shooting yourself back 2000 years and just adding a few modern conveniences and that was about it. 

David Fivecoat   00:11:29    We both put in some hard work in Afghanistan, but one of the things that I think a lot of veterans,  I know I do you sometimes think finally about the experience because a lot of the deployments, and for folks that haven't deployed, things get sort of boiled down to the essence. You get up, you eat, you go on patrol, you work out and you might call your spouse or significant other at the end of the night and you go to sleep and you repeat. There aren't a whole lot of options here in the United States. There's lots of options and things can get very complex very quickly because it's tough to figure out which option to pick.  

Scott DeLuzio     00:12:23    Right? Your options are very limited. You could go exercise if your base was lucky enough to have a gym of some sort that you can go lift weights or whatever.  Or You figure out some other way to exercise because you still have to stay in shape. You can't just let yourself go, even though you're out patrolling all the time. And, you're probably okay with some of the cardio aspects of things, because you might be running around and doing stuff,  but you still have to maintain some sort of physical fitness regimen. If for nothing else for your own sanity to keep your head on straight, because like you said there's very few options over there and there's only so many, $5 movies you can get from the local Bazaar to occupy your time and many motion, sick videos that you can watch as the guys holding the camera in the theater, and it's all bouncing around and everything.  

David Fivecoat    00:13:28   For the listeners that are familiar there, they have knock-off DVDs or bootleg DVDs that were super cheap in 2010. And you could get the latest movies because someone would go in and film them guerrilla-style in the theater. And then they would ask, produce them on DVDs and you could get them. And sometimes there'd be a soundtrack. Sometimes there wouldn't be a soundtrack. And especially if it was very early on the movie's release, they would get better as the movie's been out a while.  

Scott DeLuzio     00:13:58    Sometimes it was in the wrong language when you got it. And then you have to translate this thing. It was like, what are you doing guys? Come on.  

David Fivecoat    00:14:12    One time we had a bunch of Afghan, senior, officials and the hell a sandstorm rolled in. We were like, well, what, what can we do with these guys? Because they were scheduled to get on this helicopter. We were going to fly them back to the capital of the province, which is Sharana, and let them go back to their business. And we're like, well, well, what can we do with them? They're like, well, let's show them a movie. And, between the interpreter and the soldiers, they came to a consensus to show them transformers. And these are like 40 or 50-year-old Afghan men. And at one point in time, one of the Afghan men asked the interpreter if this was real. And I was like, you guys picked like the absolute biggest sort of culture shock kind of movie. You could show these guys totally not what life is like in Afghanistan. They all picked it because they wanted to, they thought that the guys would appreciate Megan Fox? They thought they would all appreciate seeing Megan Fox in it, but the vehicles that turned into robots and fought other robots was a little bit of a stretch for them.  

Scott DeLuzio     00:15:34    That's funny.  I remember just talking to some of them, some of our interpreters or other Afghan people through the interpreters and they had a skewed sense of what was real in the United States. It was kind of like the stories that you might've heard of the immigrants coming to America in the early part of the last century. Saying that the streets were paved with gold and all that kind of stuff, where they had these grand ideas of what America was, well, no, that's a stretch. Some of these things are not exactly entirely true. Asking if that type of thing is real it's obvious to us, it's obviously not, but to them, They probably have never seen something like that in their movies. That they may have had if they even had movies to watch but that's the other thing to consider. Right.  

David Fivecoat   00:16:34    Right. That was maybe not one of the better selections that we could have picked, maybe next time, we'll get it better.  

Scott DeLuzio    00:16:44    I mean, I could think of other movies that would be just as bad as the Terminator, something like that, know things, things that would probably freak them out a little bit. That's probably more of a horror movie to them.  

Scott DeLuzio     00:16:57    Let's jump into this topic of grit, and get into that a little bit, but before we do what's, I guess maybe let's start with a definition. Tell us what grit is and what personal grit is and how do we get it, or how do we grow it if we already have it.  

David Fivecoat    00:17:16    One part of the story we didn't get to, we got a little bit sidetracked in Afghanistan, which is fine. It's fun. It was fun to reminisce and talk about Afghanistan.  In 2017, I transitioned out of the army and started working for a company doing leadership training with individuals. In March of 2020 at the beginning of the pandemic, I decided I should find my own company. I like to joke that I did wasn't I didn't feel like I was gritty enough. So I decided to found my own company at the beginning of the pandemic and go out on my own and start doing executive coaching and leadership training with mainly corporate groups. I've now done that for the past two years, I've had the chance to grow a company.  

David Fivecoat   00:18:09   There's been some interesting sort of contrasts when you have spent a lot of time in corporate America. I went to college at West Point after 24 years in the army. For 28 years, I had a government check, coming in twice a month. It was a big leap to first work for this small company as an independent contractor and stand up my own company. In late fall, early winter of 2020, a client I was talking to said, Hey, you're kind of gritty. Why not? Why don't you write a book on grit? That is kind of interesting. I've had these gritty experiences and maybe I got something that I can help others try to develop.  

David Fivecoat    00:18:59    The definition that I have for grit is the will to persevere, to achieve long-term goals. Now it's slightly different. Some of your listeners have probably heard Angela Duckworth. Angela Duckworth is sort of like the godmother of grit. She's a psychologist at the University of Pennsylvania. She has a Ted Talk and a book, but I read her book and I came away from it thinking she did a fantastic job, defining it, telling you how to measure it,  telling you who's got it, who doesn't, but I thought she fell a little bit short on creating a framework for somebody to develop their own grit and pursuit of a goal. One of the more challenging aspects in life is one life. Life is sort of a gritty journey.  

David Fivecoat   00:19:50    You don't know where you're going. You may have these aspirations, but you don't know exactly what to do along the way. There's lots of sort of structure kind of things. If you decide to go to college there's sort of a four-year plan. You have to take X number of classes, you have to get this grade in it, and then you come out the other end and get a degree, but there are some things in life where there's not a good roadmap. In the things with the roadmap, it does help to have grit, and those without a roadmap it really helps to have grit because you need to have a framework to help yourself get better. I think you've got to have a couple of things. The number one thing I think that helps you develop grit is having a personal purpose and understanding what your why is.  

David Fivecoat   00:20:37    It's a tough exercise. I just put six corporate executives at this company through their personal purpose exercise. And every single one of them said, man, this is hard because we don't typically take that introspection and go, Hey, what am I always all about? What are the values that are the most important to me? And how am I living? Then the second part of developing your grit is to do goal setting. And one of the challenges. Well, I have a good question for you. Did you decide to do a New Year's Resolution?  

Scott DeLuzio     00:21:14     I actually had a New Year's Resolution years and years ago. I don't even remember when it was to not make New Year's Resolutions going   

Scott DeLuzio     00:21:29    I have so far, I've stuck with it. The reason why is because I didn't like the mindset of taking an arbitrary date on the calendar and saying, okay, I'm going to start on this date. And I'm going to get better at whatever. Whether it's fitness or I want to read a book every so often, or, if I want to do something, I noticed that there's something I want to improve on myself. I'm going to just start it. I'm going to start it now. Or come up with a goal and a plan and say, okay, this is what I'm going to do. I don't care if it's in August or if it's in January or whatever. That's kind of been, my mindset is if, if I see something that I want to improve on, in any area of my life, I'm going to just start it.  

Scott DeLuzio     00:22:15    I don't tend to not do New Year's resolutions, just so that I don't fall into that trap of being in November and saying, oh, I probably should lose a few pounds.  I'll just wait until January and  I'll join the gym then. I haven't made a new year's resolution, But, to that point, it doesn't mean that I don't see areas in my own life that do need improving, that I do work on from time to time. 

David Fivecoat    00:22:45    Well, we're recording this on January 24th. A Lot of folks right now, or are struggling with their new year's resolutions and maybe about ready to give them up, whatever, whatever they are. I've found one of the biggest challenges with new year's resolutions is that folks don't do adequate goal-setting the goal for a new year's resolution or any sort of goal the best tool is the mnemonic device smart and smart stands for specific, measurable, achievable, relevant, and time-bound, and the three most important parts of it. Whenever you set a goal is, Hey, is it specific? What am I trying to accomplish? The second part is measurable. How am I going to measure this? What should I say? Success looks like it's easy to drop 10 pounds, right? Because you say, okay, I'm gonna use the scale.  

David Fivecoat    00:23:35    I'm gonna weigh myself right now. I will weigh myself in the future and hopefully, I've dropped 10 pounds. Then time-bound, you gotta set a goal, a date, the goal to be accomplished by. If you don't have those three parts in your goal, you really need to go back and look at the goal. The second part of goal setting, which is also incredibly important is you've got to schedule time on the calendar for it. I'm sure all your listeners are busy. They've got things on the calendar. Their lives are busy. If you're going to add something new to the calendar, you have to look and go, okay, where am I going to actually accomplish it? If you put it on the calendar, it's more likely to happen. Then you've got to take the next step and say, okay, what am I going to take off in order to give myself space to actually accomplish this? Those three things using the smart mnemonic device,  making sure you put it on the calendar. Then, also, taking a look and saying, what am I going to take off in order to be able to accomplish this really sets you up for a better chance of actually accomplishing your goals.  

Scott DeLuzio    00:24:40     That does make sense because we're going back to the new year's resolution, discussion that we were just having. If someone's goal is to drop 20 pounds, that's specific, it's measurable. But if their goal is to do it in the first two or three weeks of the year, that's not very attainable. That's not something that you're practically going to be able to do. unless you completely starve yourself, but that's just not healthy and that's not what anyone should be focusing on doing. I think that makes sense. Being able to get those goals set in a manner that is achievable that will set you up for success. You don't want to set unrealistic goals for yourself, and make it so that you feel like all you're failing at this when you kind of didn't give yourself a chance to succeed, to begin with when you have unrealistic expectations of yourself, right?  

David Fivecoat    00:25:49    Another thing that you've got to consider after you get a good goal, you've figured out your personal purpose, you've developed this goal that compliments your personal purpose is to take some time and think about your resilience.  Most folks, if they consider it a gritty goal, it's something that really pushes the boundaries. It's out of their comfort zone. It's something that's going to move the needle, like starting a new company in the middle of the pandemic or writing a book, or any of those things that you might decide to do. And inevitably, there's going to be a setback that happens along that way. And the first thing to think about when you're thinking about your resilience is okay, I need to think through what are the most likely setbacks that are going to happen and how am I going to respond to that?  

David Fivecoat    00:26:42    Then the second is making sure that I think one of the most important things with resilience is making sure that you are physically the best person you possibly can be. You are getting enough sleep at night, you're eating right. You're doing physical fitness, and you're taking a little bit of time for mindfulness. Those four things together really help increase a person's resilience. Think about the last time when, maybe you were staying up late coding, or something like that. What sort of happens at night? You're going to snack more, you're going to do other things that may not be getting you to your goal of losing those 20 pounds, or something like that. You've got to think, Hey, how have I created it?  

David Fivecoat    00:27:30    I've got the most opportunity to bounce back from these failures that are going to happen along the way. How am I going to learn from it? The other thing is changing your mindset. Hey, one of the big things for me at least was succeeding and then learning. It's not succeeding or failing it's succeeding or learning. For instance, when I started out with the company, I was like, okay, I'm going to try this for a year. I've never, ever stood up in a company. I have no idea how this is going to go, but I'll do it for a year. And at the end of the day, if I haven't succeeded, it's okay. Because I've learned new things. I learned how to put together a website. I run my own email list, and all those things that I had to teach myself, all along the way, I'm a much, I think I'm a much, much better person and I continue to learn and grow, develop and move forward, even in my forties and fifties.  

Scott DeLuzio     00:28:29    I've used this example before on this podcast and other talks I've done, but when you're talking about resilience and that kind of effort. I just think about my own kids, as they were, they were growing up and doing things that were outside of their comfort zone.  Even something as simple as learning to ride a bike without the training wheels on it was scary for them. It was definitely outside of their comfort zone. They fell and they scraped their knees and they cried about it and they didn't like it and it was hard, but you keep encouraging them to get back on the bike and try it again and try it again and try it again. and just like you said, it's not a failure, it's a learning lesson.  

Scott DeLuzio    00:29:21    They learned, okay if I lean too much this way, I'm going to fall. So, okay. Don't do that again. If I lean too much, the other way, I'm going to fall too. And okay, don't do that again.  Eventually, they figured out how to balance themselves and they did it and now they ride their bikes. Like it's nothing. It's one of those experiences that made that really hard and scary thing to them at that time now into a fun and enjoyable activity. If you are resilient enough and you're able to push through those learning lessons, not necessarily failures,  you're able to get a more positive outcome from whatever it is that you're trying to achieve. In this case, it was a simple example of riding a bike, but for a young kid, that's a hard thing to do. That does make it more of a resilient thing. You can't expect them to be doing things at  40 or 50 year old that they would be able to do at that point. Right?  

David Fivecoat    00:30:25    The 30 or 40 or 50-year-old sometimes forgets the amount of learning and the failures that came along the way as a chief and other things as they look back, because we all, as we age, forget the bad stuff, remember the good stuff. I suspect both of us at various points in time were thinking, man,  Afghanistan really sucks, this is bad. Now as I look back on it, it's sort of like, it wasn't that bad.  

Scott DeLuzio    00:30:58    Something interesting that you said earlier in the episode that your goal was to basically stay in the army until it stopped being fun. I looked back at my notes and I said, wow, you spent an awful lot of time in the army. For something that definitely could have been, not too much fun for a period of that time. I think you're right. Where you do tend to remember the positive side, and you might not remember the struggle quite as much as the downside. I can think back to when I started my business and I remember that first client that I landed and money that started trickling into the bank account. That was like an incredible feeling, but the late nights and the hard work and everything that went into that. I mean, I still remember it, but it's not the thing that pops to the front of my mind when I think about when I first started my business. I definitely get where you're coming from with that. When you were in the army, what were some of your grittiest experiences, the things that, that really stood out to you,  

David Fivecoat   00:32:21    I'll talk about two of them. Well, can I do three? Sure. Okay. All right. So three, the first one, on a personal level, was going through the US army ranger school, came out of the basic course as a young Second Lieutenant, and shipped off to ranger school. Ranger school is now 61 days, which was a little bit longer in that timeframe.  Ranger students are stressed out through limited food and limited sleep. The average ranger student loses about 20 pounds while they're there. They operate on about three hours of sleep a night for the entire 61 days. One of the things that happens while you're there at ranger school is you get evaluated by a ranger instructor. Whether you go, whether you get a pass or a fail determines whether you're going to actually graduate or move on to the next phase.  

David Fivecoat   00:33:21    I made it all the way to Florida, which is the last phase of ranger school. I made it successfully there without any hiccups. I go through the Florida phase and I come out of it and they say, Hey, ranger, you're a no-go, you failed to lead your patrols to your opportunities, to lead patrols to the right standard that we expect. Do you want an opportunity to recycle? And man, my parents were coming down for graduation and my girlfriend and all kinds of stuff. I was like I guess you gotta do it. That sort of overcoming adversity and dealing with that failure, frankly, was one of the first times that I really failed at anything significant.  

David Fivecoat  00:34:11    And then the second time, was Iraq in 2007, 2008, I was a per gate operations officer for one of the brigades that it got sent over for the Iraq surge. It was a 15-month deployment. We stood up a FOB from nothing and an entire brigade footprint from nothing. And it was a struggle. We got accelerated on our deployment and had an exceptionally tough boss. It was just one of those sort of grinds for 15 months to get through. That really tested me as a person and as an organizational leader,  because the boss was tough too, for folks to work for had to help, smooth out some things for him, and help keep the team all rowing together. as we tried to overcome things as part of the Iraq surge.  

David Fivecoat    00:35:08    And then the last one was leading, the ranger school during the gender integration, there was a lot of resistance to change. Lots of folks that were against it, and as the brigade commander, I was sort of the lightning rod for a lot of the folks that were irritated with allowing women the opportunity to come to ranger school. As I said before, under the resilience side of grit, I had to develop a thick skin, a lot of learning opportunities, and lots of folks weren't happy with what I was doing. And, it was in the public eye. The New York Times, Washington Post, defense one we're all, having reporters follow this along. Any misstep was magnified. Lots of learning lessons there and I learned a lot about myself and resiliency there.  

Scott DeLuzio    00:36:10    I imagined that you would, and I was actually thinking that that would probably be one of your answers to that question because that it had to be difficult where there would be that resistance to that change. Long-standing tradition, men only, and then now all of a sudden it's wide open to the women, and that probably would make a lot of people kind of hesitant to that type of change. And may come to you as if this was your thing in your eyes. Like you masterminded this whole plan and everything, and you were the face of it.  But like any good soldier does, you're following orders, and this was your job basically.  

Scott DeLuzio    00:37:02    It's not like you needed to have any kind of personal attacks or anything like that, because what could that do for anyone really at that point? Regardless of what your beliefs are, your opinion is on women in the Rangers or whatever, you're just doing your job at that point. You figured that that would probably be one of the things that you were talking about,  in terms of your gritty experiences.  I can't imagine that that would have been an easy thing to do. It probably required quite a bit of grit to accomplish. So, I'm glad you mentioned that.

David Fivecoat  00:37:47    It was an amazing experience. I'm glad I had the opportunity to go through it. Two comments. First off, I was lampooned by the Duffel blog twice during that experience. And so I considered that a career highlight that I made it into a Duffel blog twice. The first one was that I was going to institute the pickle jar opening test as part of the ranger school curriculum. The other one was after we had a bunch of Rangers hit by lightning while the women were there. I would be remiss if I did not talk about it, but the three women that graduated and earned their ranger tab, which was Kristen Grice Shaver, and Lisa Jaster, they had incredible grit. They persevered against the odds. They were glass ceiling breakers.  

David Fivecoat    00:38:39   One of the more interesting stories out of it, part of ranger school is you have to do a 12-mile foot March with about 60 pounds of gear. You have to do it in three hours. It's an out six-mile,  turnaround come back in six miles and Kristen Grice on her third time through the Benning phase of ranger school, because she went through it once failed, went through it twice failed, got the opportunity to take a day one recycling. And on her third time through she actually finished third overall out of about 180 ranger students in the road March. It was one of the tipping points. And one of the things that started establishing credibility within the ranger instructors, a little bit wider than, when folks heard, Hey, she finished third overall and the road March. It's a testament to their grit.  They had an incredible amount of grit and were super proud of them. They've got all three gone on and done great things, in the army and out of the army, and they've represented ranger school and the army exceptionally well.  

Scott DeLuzio    00:39:51    That's great. That was able to be displayed through those individuals and honestly, anyone who's made it through ranger school, male or female, I think is,  has their own level of grit, to get through that because it's not an easy school to go through. But especially for the first females to go through.  You probably have that self-doubt in that fear of failure you don't want to be the first woman to go through ranger school and also be the first woman to fail going through ranger school. How can grit help someone overcome that feeling of fear of failure when trying to accomplish these big goals that they may have? 

David Fivecoat   00:40:44   That's one of the components that I talk about, in the book on grit, how do you deal with the fear of failure? Because if it is a gritty goal, undoubtedly, once again, you're pushing boundaries, it's out of your comfort zone, and you're risking something. In the military, everyone approaches risky situations differently. I don't know if you went through airborne school, but one of the ways in airborne school, you try to get over folks' fears of jumping out of planes. There's this sort of group approach to it. And you have a jumpmaster that yells out commands and the entire aircraft echoes those commands. And that's one of the ways, and you've got this whole ritual that you've gone over and you do the exact same way every single time.  

David Fivecoat    00:41:30    Well,  that doesn't do well to things that aren't this group activity, it works great in getting you to jump out of an aircraft. I had the opportunity to do that over a hundred times in the army. I was still scared. don't get me wrong, but one of the best things that I think is a way to deal with your fears. When you're going after these big goals you have to list your fears and you've got to acknowledge that they're there and these fears will manifest themselves in different ways.  It's not like you're scared, but you may see yourself procrastinating, you may see yourself getting distracted or doing other things, and that's how your fear sort of manifests itself. The best tool that I found for folks is to list their fears.  

David Fivecoat   00:42:27    What's the worst thing that can happen because of that fear and then a mitigating strategy to help you deal with that fear. I'll give an example. When I founded the company in 2020, I said, Hey, what's the worst that can happen?'' And the worst thing that I had to happen is like,  nobody's interested in buying what I'm selling. I don't make any money off of it.  I end up significantly poorer than I started out when I founded the company. I was like, okay, well, my mitigation strategy. And my mitigation strategy was, Hey, I'm going to do this for a year. And at the year mark, I'm going to take stock and evaluate it. And if it's going well, I'll continue it. If it's not, I will fold up shop and go find a different job and put my resume out there and go find something else to do. Fortunately for me, I got to March of 2021, the business had picked up some consulting contracts and some clients and things were rolling along. And I said, okay, well, I'll stick this out for another year. And we're closing into March of 2022. I'll have to take an evaluation on that, on it at that point in time. But, things are going pretty well right now. And, I think I'll keep doing it for one more year,

Scott DeLuzio    00:43:50    Pencil in another year for that. Okay, good.  

David Fivecoat   00:43:54    You may see some parallels between that and the Hey, I'm going to stick her out in the army till it stops being a fun kind of approach, in the army.

Scott DeLuzio    00:44:07    And fun is a relative term too because you can enjoy things that other people might think suck. you can have fun, you may enjoy going on long ruck marches or whatever. Other people might be like, ah, that's for somebody else. That's not me. Or you may enjoy jumping out of airplanes. And I've always said,  no, I haven't gone through airborne school, but I've always said to people, if I go up in a perfectly good airplane with a perfectly good pair of shoes, I'm going to land in a perfectly good airplane with a perfectly good pair of shoes.  

Scott DeLuzio     00:44:42    I would much rather the way and that way then on my feet. So, but that's just me. If my job was going through airborne school, I probably would not make it too long because that fear of Heights is just too intense for me. And it probably wouldn't work out, but I did like what you were saying about that fear of failure and having those mitigation strategies in place, and obviously, it's going to be different for every situation that you're going through, starting a business.  You want to know, okay, if in the absolute worst-case scenario and you make no money over the next, however many months, how long can you go?  

Scott DeLuzio    00:45:29    What kind of savings do you have? What kind of financial resources do you have available to you that you can put towards this so that you can still keep the lights on and put food on the table and things to provide for your family. Because that's a very scary thing, to wake up one morning and see a negative bank account balance because you've overdrawn your account because now you haven't made money in the last six months, nine months or whatever knowing that you had enough money to last you a certain amount of time, gives you that, that goal, it's like, okay, well, if I can't make anything in the next year, then I'm going to have to do something else. But that at least gives you an opportunity to try something that's new, maybe a little scary pushes you outside of the comfort zone.  But, it lets you do that without really worrying too much about the failure side of things because in the worst-case scenario, you can always find something else. 

David Fivecoat   00:46:43    Well, in a newfound appreciation for small business owners and the amount of risk that they take in because if you don't have a client coming in the front door,  you're not making payroll, you're not building your business. You're not putting food on the table. And I went the entire third quarter of 2020 without a client. And, a lot of times I'm like, Hey, this is as scary as some things that I went through in Iraq and Afghanistan. And I didn't appreciate that until I became a small business owner. I think you've got that same sort of perspective now and I don't know if it was the same for you with you starting up your business, but it's tough.  

Scott DeLuzio     00:47:29     And when I started my business, I was the only one who was working. And, she was staying at home with the kids. We had her here at home and it was kind of scary for the first couple of months. It wasn't like money was just pouring in. Anyone who just starts a business knows that it's usually pretty slow in the first couple of months. And then things started to pick up a little bit and got a little bit better. But, in those first couple of months, it was kind of a nail-biter. I didn't know how much longer I'd be able to continue doing it because I did have to put food on the table.  

Scott DeLuzio    00:48:14    I had to provide for my family and my wife and my three kids. And,  I couldn't bring the money and I had to figure it out some way,  it definitely could be scary. And, we think about making it successful in terms of just the financial aspect, but how much money you take in, but there's a ton of other things that as a small business owner you have to be responsible for as well insurance and all that kind of stuff. Aree things that you need to worry about where if you had a corporate job somewhere you get these benefits, of your health and dental and vision and all these other benefits that come along with it.  

Scott DeLuzio     00:49:02, But now you're the sole person responsible for it. And, so that gives you a lot more to think about. and it's not just doing the same job that you would have been doing. Had you been working for somebody else? You have a ton of other things that you have to worry about as well.  So it's difficult. It's scary at times, but I wouldn't trade it for any other experiences, because I think I've learned so much and grown so much professionally that I don't know that I'd be able to do that working for somebody else,  How can someone who we're talking about, like the goal-setting before, there's some of those specific measurable, actionable, achievable goals how can someone do a better job at goal setting to accomplish their goals? What are some, some tips,  quick tips that, maybe they might be able to use, to accomplish some of these goals?  

David Fivecoat   00:50:06     Another idea that works really well for a lot of stuff. Especially for myself, is to break the goal down into smaller pieces. I'm big on having to-do lists, and I've always got a to-do list, and, but I find myself not making progress on a bigger goal if I don't break it down into several smaller goals and go, okay, today I'm going to read this article. Tomorrow I'm going to write the blog post the day after I'll edit it and whatever, but to break it down into smaller pieces is one key thing. The other one that I think is incredibly powerful is the power of the streak. And I don't know if it works for you but there you can see it.  Down to the simplest bit.  With the fact that if you've got a Fitbit or an Apple Watch or a Garmin, you're tracking your steps every day, and you're trying to see if you can get to that magic number.  

David Fivecoat   00:51:13    You like to see that you're on a streak and you've continued to walk X number of steps every day for the last 288 days, but that idea of a streak and actually doing something. And, one of my new year's resolutions this year was to do dry January, which is to try not to drink alcohol during the month of January. And I had done it last year, so I figured why not try it again this year? And I'm probably not going to mess up and drink alcohol these last seven days because I've got this streak going. And that's another sort of simple tool to think about, take it to a little bit bigger level when I was running the book.  

David Fivecoat    00:52:06   My goal was every day to do something for 15 minutes on the book. And most days I did a lot more than 15 minutes. but my minimum standard was, Hey, I'm going to do 15 minutes on something. And it could have been as simple as looking for pictures or formatting a slide or editing a chapter or writing a chapter. But I had to do something every day until I at least got the book to a point where I was happy with it and could send it out to some friends and then eventually send it out to a professional editor.  But those kinds of things, that idea of using that streak as a way to help you get closer to your goal, is incredibly powerful.  As I get older, same thing with physical fitness, I tend to not like to be there's some folks that advocate, well you should work out six days a week and take a day off.  As I get older, I gotta do something and maybe it's just walking that day, or maybe it's just stretching. I have found that getting off of the bandwagon as it would be a physical fitness or in the case of the book or, or whatever,  makes it exceptionally tough to get back on and get yourself moving towards that goal. 

Scott DeLuzio    00:53:25    You're saying, and for the people who are listening, they probably couldn't see my reaction. But when David started saying some of the things that he was just talking about, I had a big smile on my face because I knew exactly what you were talking about. A few years ago, I had a goal that I set for myself that I wanted to do, 50,000 pushups and 50,000 sit-ups in the course of a year. Whatever day I started it on I wanted to do it by that day, the following year. Like what you said, I divided it out 50,000 by 365 days. And I said, I needed to, in that, that worked out to like 137 or something like that, repetitions I needed to do every single day.  

Scott DeLuzio    00:54:16    It didn't mean I had to do them all in one sitting I could do, I could do 10. Now I could do 10 later. I could do it. As long as at the end of the day, I've done 137 ish pushups and sit-ups, then I'd be on track to meet my goal. There were a few days that maybe I got sick and I just wasn't in what I wasn't able to cause I was, I wasn't going to be doing sit-ups if I was going to be throwing up all of the things. Now those are not the ones that I wanted to do. So then after I felt better, I knew that I had to do it if I was out for a day or two, I knew I had to make those up.  

Scott DeLuzio     00:54:58     I wouldn't necessarily double that the next day, but I would break that out over, over the next week and I would do, however many I missed, I'd add that up. That way I get back on track, even though I knew I fell behind, I'd be able to get back on track. AI made it that I could get on, on track, and I made it a daily thing.  I set forth every single day I was going to do that., and, and I did it and at the end of the year, time period, I achieved that goal and I hit that 50,000 mark. And it was something that it was easier to achieve because I had that goal. If anyone is interested in learning a language,  there's an app called Duolingo and they do the same thing that you were just talking about. They provide a streak for the number of days in a row that you've practiced, whatever language. It doesn't matter if you have multiple languages.  

Scott DeLuzio    00:56:04    If you've gone through all of one language like if you've gone through all the Spanish or all of French or whatever, and then you move on to another language, it keeps that same street going for you, but it's one of those things where, I think I'm now at like 930 days or something in a row that I've, I've used this app every single day. no matter what, no matter what I had going on that day, I still found 10 or 15 minutes to sit down and open it up and practice something.  I made it all the way through the German course there.  I started the Spanish course, which I took in high school and earlier in school. I have a good foundation for that, but I wanted to challenge myself with something that I never did before. And, I'd never spoken any German before. And I went all the way through the course from beginning to end, and now I have a decent understanding of the language, but, but you're right, that streak and that consistency really, really helped with that.  

David Fivecoat   00:57:06    Right. And the toughest part is actually starting that streak. the first day that you did do a lingo, you probably weren't thinking that you were going to get to 967 or whatever the number is right now. But once you overcome that, your internal resistance to it can get that street going. And, and what I've found is usually it's at about the two to three-week mark. If you can get a streak past three weeks, you're, you can pretty much sustain it for a while because you've, you've established that habit. It's a new and different habit, and I'm sure there's nights where you're, it gets to be like 10 o'clock and you're getting ready for bed. And you're like, darn it. I did not do Duolingo today. I need to go, knock it out.

Scott DeLuzio     00:57:48    And it's like an itch that you just can't scratch. And then it's like, oh, I got to do something about this. Right. And you're right. That is one way to stay consistent with it is having that streak that, whether it's an app that keeps track of it for you, or you just know that, okay, I did exercise today? you don't need an app to tell you that you can do that pretty, pretty easily on your own or whatever it is for the goal that you have. you, you just do it consistently. 0 minutes a day is enough to learn that particular language over a period of time. and, and so it doesn't have to be this huge long three, four hours of whatever.  you just set these small goals and break it up into bite-size pieces, and you'll get there eventually at some point, it depends on what it is, how long it will take you, but, you'll, you'll get there,  

David Fivecoat   00:58:56    Right. And, what is great is the enemy of good or, or whatever. And doing 10 minutes a day is much easier, than trying to find the perfect four hours to write a book or, or do a language or whatever. Just say, Hey, look, I'm doing 10 or 15 minutes of whatever it is. If you can't, you've gotta be able to find the time to do it, and, you can do it. I do think the visual aspect of, of Duolingo where you can actually see your streak, physical fitness, you can remember, but sometimes, especially if you're trying to start a new habit, it helps to at least have a physical calendar and maybe put an X on every day that you worked out or, use some sort of app that actually helps you track that, that, that kind of streak, because, it helps to remind you when you get to the 967th night, and you're like, darn it. I gotta go do my 10 minutes.. You don't blow that streak.  

Scott DeLuzio      00:59:56    That's the last thing I want to do right now. I don't want to lose that streak. It's like in the grand scheme of things, it doesn't matter. Like I've achieved quite a bit with it, but,  if it goes back down to zero, I'd be pissed at myself.  

David Fivecoat  01:00:09    Right. I found when I blow a streak, for whatever reason, It's much tougher to get back on the wagon and start that streak again. I was at 500 nights of getting my 10,000 steps in and now I blew it because something happened  

Scott DeLuzio    01:00:32    If something comes up. I want to give you a few minutes to talk about your book and tell us about it, where people can find it and what it's all about.  

David Fivecoat    01:00:42    The book is called, Grow your Grit came out in July, it's available on both, Amazon and Barnes and Noble, It's had 21, 5-star reviews, so far. I hope people that your listeners go find it on either of those websites and take a look at it. Hopefully, it gives them some ideas on how to enhance their personal grit and helps them accomplish some of their bigger goals. That is the first half of the book. And then the second half of the book is if you're a leader of an organization, how do you incorporate grit and develop grit into that gritty organization? And so there's two parts of the book. I hope it helps your listeners. I hope one person out there takes a look at it. I hope it helps them grow their personal grit and accomplish some of their goals.  

Scott DeLuzio     01:01:41     I do too. and I will have links to the book in the show notes. So anyone who's listening to this, check out the show notes for that information where you can find the book on Amazon and Barnes and Noble, or you can just go and search for it on there like you would for any other book, but with a nice, quick and easy link. I'll put in the show notes for you. David, it's been a pleasure speaking with you today and chatting about grit. I'm sure we probably could keep going and talking for quite a while here. Where can people go to get in touch with you and find out more about your consulting in the type of work that you do, forum for organizations?  

David Fivecoat    01:02:20    I have a website, thefivecoatconsultinggroup.com Google, it shows up in, and all the Google searches are. You can check out my services page and see if executive coaching might be right for you or your team. I host some off-sites that are leadership opportunities to help grow the leadership of teams. And then I also go and do keynote speeches and workshops,  at organizations, would love to help your team out or you individually as an executive coach. If folks would check it out on the website at thefivecoatconsultinggroup.com,  I would love to have an opportunity to talk to them and see what their challenges are, and see if I might be able to help them.  

Scott DeLuzio     01:03:12    Excellent. And I will have a link to that in the show notes as well. Again, go check that out. If that sounds like something that would benefit you or your organization check out his website, and book some time with David to help out you and your organization. Again, David, thank you for joining me on the show today. I'm really happy that we got a chance to chat and look forward to hearing more from you in the future.  

David Fivecoat    01:03:38    Thanks. Thanks so much for having me and thanks for all the things that you're doing for the veterans, out there with this podcast.  I know I enjoyed the couple of sessions that I got to listen to some of your guests and they gave me some good ideas on things to do. And thanks again for having me.  

Scott DeLuzio     01:03:56    I'm glad to have you. Thank you. Thanks for listening to the Drive On Podcast. If you want to check out more episodes or learn more about the show, you can visit our website driveonpodcast.com. We're also on Instagram, Facebook, Twitter, LinkedIn, and YouTube Drive On Podcast. 

]]> 01:04:22 <![CDATA[Learning How To Live Your Best Life]]> Tue, 08 Mar 2022 08:00:00 +0000 Scott DeLuzio https://drive-on-podcast.castos.com/podcasts/2296/episodes/learning-how-to-live-your-best-life Jessica Jaber is a USMC veteran who served in Iraq. She joins us to discuss her experiences, and how she's worked to live her best life after returning home.

Links & Resources

Transcript

Scott DeLuzio   00:00:00    Thanks for tuning into the Drive On Podcast, where we're focused on giving hope and strength to the entire military community. Whether you're a veteran, active duty, guard, reserve, or a family member, this podcast will share inspirational stories and resources that are useful to you. I'm your host, Scott DeLuzio, and now let's get on with the show. Hey, everybody welcome back to the Drive On Podcast. Today, my guest is Jessica Jaber. She was a Marine Corps veteran and she served in Iraq as a truck driver. And she had some experiences over there that she's coming on to share with us and share with us how she has transitioned since coming back and all the things that she has kind of gone through. So, welcome to the show, Jessica.  

Jessica Jaber   00:00:53    Thank you, Scott.  

Scott DeLuzio     00:00:55    Yeah, absolutely.  I'm excited. We talked a little bit earlier today.  Just a little bit of background on your story for the people who are listening to this. And so, we kind of dug in a little bit to your story and I'd like to kind of start from the beginning and talk about how you joined the Marine Corps and how you got into that, and what those early days were like when you first joined.  

Jessica Jaber    00:01:21    Yeah. I'll just jump right in. So again, thanks for having me, Scott. This is really exciting. So I was 18 when I joined the Marine Corps, and I joined on a dare. I didn't come from a family of military brothers or, or parents or grandparents. And so for me to join the Marine Corps it was out of the norm, so a really good friend of mine. He joined the Marine Corps, came back and his, his dress blues,  came out with a group of friends and I just said, out of the blue, what would you, what would you say if I joined the Marine Corps? And he's like, oh, no way. We just did this, we just did this crucible, we just did this. And he said I don't think you would be able to do it. And so that was on a Friday night and then Monday I was in the recruiter's office signing up. So this is how I joined the Marine Corps. It wasn't a lifelong dream of mine.

Scott DeLuzio      00:02:36    I like that story because let's just do it and why not? And it's for a good cause, serving your country. At the time, did you have any career expectations or college expectations in your future? Or was it something where you were 18 and were kind of like, I don't really know what's going on with my life and this sounds better than the alternatives is that?  Was that kinda like that? 

Jessica Jaber   00:03:07    Exactly what it was. I wasn't that interested in going to school anymore.. It didn't really have any passions and so I'm like, yeah, Marines let's do it.  

Scott DeLuzio      00:03:18    Right. It's a good career path, in the military you can learn a lot of things. You can get a skill that you can translate to the civilian world later on, if that's something that you're interested in. When we talked earlier, you didn't really have any career path in mind with the Marine Corps.  You just kind of said, put me where you need me.   

Jessica Jaber   00:03:45    Yeah, exactly. So I just want to be a Marine. So when you do that, they just sign you up for whatever bill they have open. So I ended up being a motor T, a truck driver.  

]]> full 156 false Jessica Jaber is a USMC veteran who served in Iraq. She joins us to discuss her experiences, and how she's worked to live her best life after returning home.

Links & Resources

Transcript

Scott DeLuzio   00:00:00    Thanks for tuning into the Drive On Podcast, where we're focused on giving hope and strength to the entire military community. Whether you're a veteran, active duty, guard, reserve, or a family member, this podcast will share inspirational stories and resources that are useful to you. I'm your host, Scott DeLuzio, and now let's get on with the show. Hey, everybody welcome back to the Drive On Podcast. Today, my guest is Jessica Jaber. She was a Marine Corps veteran and she served in Iraq as a truck driver. And she had some experiences over there that she's coming on to share with us and share with us how she has transitioned since coming back and all the things that she has kind of gone through. So, welcome to the show, Jessica.  

Jessica Jaber   00:00:53    Thank you, Scott.  

Scott DeLuzio     00:00:55    Yeah, absolutely.  I'm excited. We talked a little bit earlier today.  Just a little bit of background on your story for the people who are listening to this. And so, we kind of dug in a little bit to your story and I'd like to kind of start from the beginning and talk about how you joined the Marine Corps and how you got into that, and what those early days were like when you first joined.  

Jessica Jaber    00:01:21    Yeah. I'll just jump right in. So again, thanks for having me, Scott. This is really exciting. So I was 18 when I joined the Marine Corps, and I joined on a dare. I didn't come from a family of military brothers or, or parents or grandparents. And so for me to join the Marine Corps it was out of the norm, so a really good friend of mine. He joined the Marine Corps, came back and his, his dress blues,  came out with a group of friends and I just said, out of the blue, what would you, what would you say if I joined the Marine Corps? And he's like, oh, no way. We just did this, we just did this crucible, we just did this. And he said I don't think you would be able to do it. And so that was on a Friday night and then Monday I was in the recruiter's office signing up. So this is how I joined the Marine Corps. It wasn't a lifelong dream of mine.

Scott DeLuzio      00:02:36    I like that story because let's just do it and why not? And it's for a good cause, serving your country. At the time, did you have any career expectations or college expectations in your future? Or was it something where you were 18 and were kind of like, I don't really know what's going on with my life and this sounds better than the alternatives is that?  Was that kinda like that? 

Jessica Jaber   00:03:07    Exactly what it was. I wasn't that interested in going to school anymore.. It didn't really have any passions and so I'm like, yeah, Marines let's do it.  

Scott DeLuzio      00:03:18    Right. It's a good career path, in the military you can learn a lot of things. You can get a skill that you can translate to the civilian world later on, if that's something that you're interested in. When we talked earlier, you didn't really have any career path in mind with the Marine Corps.  You just kind of said, put me where you need me.   

Jessica Jaber   00:03:45    Yeah, exactly. So I just want to be a Marine. So when you do that, they just sign you up for whatever bill they have open. So I ended up being a motor T, a truck driver.  

Scott DeLuzio     00:03:58    So yeah, that could be a little scary of an experience going into it, not knowing exactly what you're going to be doing because you sign a contract for X number of years and you could be putting in a job that you're going to totally hate, but there's a little leap of faith there. I don't care. I just want to be a Marine and that's what I'm going to do.  

Jessica Jaber     00:04:19    That's exactly what happened.   

Scott DeLuzio      00:04:22    So, you go through the basic training and you get through all of that and you get assigned to your first unit. How was that like going in there? I can't imagine in the motor T. There's not too many females who are just jumping to sign up for that job? 

Jessica Jaber     00:04:39. There were only a couple of us. And this is back in 2000. So it's like this over 20 years ago. So I joined and got into the fleet. I was stationed at Camp Pendleton.  I was the only female in my platoon at the time we had a few more in the company. My first week we were in the barracks and we shared laundry facilities. The way that I was welcomed into the Marine Corps, set the pace for my career. I'm not sure who exactly it was, but they stole my laundry and scattered it all over the barracks all over the hallways. So this was like I said, this was in 2000. But this was how I was welcomed into the Marine Corps.  

Scott DeLuzio     00:05:48     And that's when we were talking before you shared that story with me and in the military, a lot of times do stupid pranks like that, but that's not exactly the way you want to welcome someone into a unit where you are potentially going to.  At that point, no one really knew that we were going to war or anything in the near future, but you're potentially going to have to be looking out for each other and you don't want to start things off with the wrong foot like that. So it's unfortunate that stuff like that happens, but hopefully, things changed as time went on. 9/11 happens and then all of that ramps up to go to war in Iraq and Afghanistan, comes up and people, hopefully, you're starting to take things a little bit more seriously. So speaking of 9/11, we didn't mention this earlier when we were talking, but where were you? What was that like for you when news of all that took place?  

Jessica Jaber    00:06:57    Oh, sure. Yeah, we didn't get into this. I actually flew into Washington Reagan airport in DC or near DC. On September 10th, I was supposed to be in Quantico. On September 11th, which I was, I ended up being in Quantico., but that night I drove past the Pentagon. And then, I was actually away from my unit, when nine 11 happened and I was actually on the east coast,  at Quantico. So I was not near any of my equipment. Right. And, so I was stuck in Quantico. I think it was a week and a half before they let any of the flights start, leaving from there. So, yeah, that's where I was. Yeah.  

Scott DeLuzio      00:07:51    And that had to be pretty scary being away from your unit and all the people that you knew. I mean, you were still with other Marines and, and things like that where you were, but still, it's a crazy time. You don't know what's going on. Nobody really knows what was going on at that point. It was all new to all of us. I always like to hear where people were and what they were doing if they were in the military when 9/11 happened, just because it's just a part of our country's history that, I think it's one of those things like the Kennedy assassination if you're old enough for other things like that, where you just know where you were and what you were doing at that time. I think anyone who was around that time, old enough to know what was going on, knew where they were, knew what was going on, but it's interesting to hear from a military perspective where people were and what they were, what was going through their minds at that point

Scott DeLuzio      00:08:53    So then guess fast forward a couple of years and you find yourself in Iraq, right?  

Jessica Jaber    00:08:59    Yeah. I went to Iraq in 2003, so I actually got called home. I was on Christmas leave. So in 2002,  I got called home or called back to base. And in January of 2003, we boarded the USS Boxer.  We floated over to Kuwait. So it took us about five weeks to get there. And then we stayed there for a couple of weeks. We were in Kuwait for a couple of weeks and then the war officially started.  

Scott DeLuzio     00:09:34    Right. And so you guys being the truck drivers, you were the ones who were driving up from Kuwait? Is that how you basically convoyed up to wherever you're going?

Jessica Jaber     00:09:46    Exactly. So that's how we came over on, on ships. And so we'd brought most of our vehicles along with us, We drove our truck.  

Scott DeLuzio     00:09:56    Up and you went up to Baghdad, correct?  

Jessica Jaber     00:09:59    Right. Yeah. We started, like I said, we started in Kuwait week across the line of departure and ended up in Baghdad on April 9th. I remember, which was, I think, the official end of the war. 

Scott DeLuzio     00:10:15    All right, we're here for the party and then wait, what's going on? 

Jessica Jaber    00:10:20    I think that was the word that the war is ending,  we know that wasn't true. So we spent some time in Baghdad, ended up going south a little bit to the airbase and we were stationed. We kind of parked there for a few months and ended up coming home in September of 2003. So I spent about six months in the country.

Scott DeLuzio      00:10:47    Yeah. And so, when you were, what was the job that you had and what were you guys doing and where, where did that take you out of that, out of that all work out for you? What were your experiences like over there?  

Jessica Jaber     00:11:01    Yeah, so our unit, we were a supply unit, we provided beans, bullets, bandaids for the First Marine Division. So we had medics attached to us Navy medics. And so anywhere that the first Marine division went, we would follow in lockstep. Sometimes we were in front of them, so they could just drive right up and get their supplies, get their fuel, my specific job. I did have a Humvee when we got off a ship except it started on fire as soon as we got on land. 

Jessica Jaber    00:11:49    I ended up being a passenger then the rest of the time. And you worked the communications for our vehicle.  

Scott DeLuzio      00:12:02    Right. And during that time you're driving around, it's a hostile area to be in. And so naturally you're probably seeing some combat throughout this deployment and correct.  

Jessica Jaber     00:12:18    Yes I was in the lead of a couple of vehicles, so we drove around with the seal and a Gunnery Sergeant. So we were out scouting a lot of places before we brought along the rest of the company. We ventured over the Tigris, we ventured over the Euphrates bridges. We actually got a couple of combat action ribbons out of that deployment. 

Scott DeLuzio    00:12:51    Yeah. And that's something that I think about when people hear about other people's deployments. If someone was saying, oh, well, I was a truck driver and I was driving around. People don't necessarily think about combat with that. That's not the thing that pops into your head when you're thinking about someone and the job that they're doing, it's like, okay, well, you were just driving a truck, right. But that's not true either. You're driving a truck, but you're driving it in a hostile territory. And the people who are on the other side of the enemy really, they don't care what your job is. They see Americans and they want to take out as many of them as they can.  

Scott DeLuzio      00:13:44    So they don't care that you're a truck driver or a cook or a mechanic or whatever. They just see you as an American. And that's all I care about. They don't care really what your job is, whatever your job is, it's there to help the Americans and that's not what they want. So I think that's an important perspective. For people to understand is that, no matter what you did over there, you were, even if you were on the base the entire time, you still were in danger, 24/ 7 at to some extent because, bases get more dirt bases, get suicide bombers driving into the, to the bases and things like that, all these things happen. So at any point that could have happened to anybody who gets deployed. And so when we're talking to other combat vets or other people who've deployed to combat zones, whether they've directly seen combat or not, it's one of those things where you have to constantly be on alert for those things to happen.  

Scott DeLuzio      00:14:53    And that's part of the training that you get to is, if you always need to be alert, head on a swivel, all that kind of stuff. And so it's important, I think for those people who haven't experienced these things to recognize that when there are those people who were quote-unquote, just a truck driver or just a cook, or just a whatever, they probably had to experience a lot of the same kind of things. Maybe it wasn't on an every single day basis. But they still had to experience it. And in that still heightened sense of alertness and everything like that still goes along with all of that. And when you come back home, that's one of those things that's kinda hard to shut off. Right?  

Jessica Jaber    00:15:44    Exactly. That's a good way to put it. That heightened sense of alert is always on the ready. Yeah.  

Scott DeLuzio      00:15:51  It's hard. I've been there too.  I was an infantryman and so we were in Afghanistan and you're always looking for that next person. Who's gonna jump out with a rifle or an RPG or whatever. That's just what you're trained to do, and you're always doing it. And then you come home and you're walking in Walmart or whatever, and it's like, you don't have to be constantly, head on a swivel, looking down all the aisles and all that kind of stuff. Well, maybe Walmart, is not the best example, but it's one of those things where you're constantly on alert, you don't know how to shut that down. And so, that's kinda, what I wanted to get into with you is to talk about, how you've transitioned, since getting back home and getting out of the, out of the military and how you have adjusted to civilian life and making the best of, of what you have going on.

Jessica Jaber    00:16:57    Yeah. I have some struggles and not just from combat. I think some of the events that happened in the military in general. We are kind of conditioned to not be too emotional, right. Not to show your emotions, not to show affection or love or empathy.  I still struggle with that 20 years later. So that's something that I've noticed I've recognized and have been trying to work on, over the last 20 years,  I've been through a couple of divorces, based on struggle with, with showing my emotions, being, being open, being, authentic. Right. I always have this, this tough girl, kind of armor up that it's really hard to bring people in and to let people in. So that's one of the things that I continue to struggle with is being vulnerable, showing my emotions, knowing that it's okay to show your emotions.

Scott DeLuzio     00:18:26    And that's one of the things that we like to talk about on the show too is that it's okay to open up and talk about things, and showing emotions. That's part of it too, I think.  I think a lot of people in the military struggle with that too. The tough guy mentality, you gotta,  you can't show your emotions or any of that kinda who wrote that rule where can I go kick his ass? Because like, that's not true. Like why, why can't you show your emotions? Why can't you talk about things like that? That should be part of just normal life, I think.

Jessica Jaber     00:19:11    Yeah, exactly. And so I've been getting a lot of help through having a, and I'm not sure if this is nationwide, but it's called the vet center, in Milwaukee, I'm in Wisconsin. So, we have this bed center who is great, she's just a great lady that I've been working with for the past 10 years actually. Our work is very specific on feeling these emotions as much as, as much as I don't want to do that, but it's, it's, it's very healthy, I think.  

Scott DeLuzio     00:19:42. And it is like slowly learning how to relearn, how to feel those emotions, because it's strange because at one point or another, we all were civilians and we all had the, I'll just say, normal civilian mindset about things. And then we go through the military and we get drilled into us. This is how it is, and this is how you're supposed to act and how you're supposed to behave and all this kind of stuff. And then we get out and we're like, okay, well, that's how I'm supposed to behave. So I'm just going to continue behaving that way. So we all knew at one point how to have emotions, but then we get that drilled out of us. And now it's like a struggle to pick that back up. And, and I get that like that does make some sense.  

Scott DeLuzio      00:20:31    So you had trouble with the emotions and making connections with people. , that is certainly difficult especially when you're talking about relationships like a marriage, but that's a hard thing to have to go through not only for yourself but also for your spouse too, to be trying to make the connection and just not seeming like anything was sticking. So it's hard. And it's one of those things that you do have, you try to work on, you have to try to make that better for, for yourself, for the other people in your life.  

Jessica Jaber     00:21:09    Exactly.  

Scott DeLuzio      00:21:10    So you also mentioned earlier about these panic attacks that you were having. Would you be willing to share anything about that? I thought it was interesting what you're saying and kind of like what was happening with that in your situation. I'd love to be able to kind of dig into that a little bit if you're willing to share any of that.  

Jessica Jaber    00:21:32    Yeah, yeah, definitely. Another thing that I struggled with is, really that heightened anxiety, heightened, Something bad is going to happen. It led to somewhat of these panic attacks where I would have these episodes and my body was actually shutting down. My heart was stopping. Because there's that fight or flight or freeze kind of thing that happens to your body and my body when it was scared that something bad was gonna happen. My heart stopped and I had these tests done, nothing was wrong with my brain. Nothing was wrong with my heart. Nothing, I didn't have cancer, nothing was wrong with me. Until we actually caught one of these episodes, We actually caught what was actually happening.  

Jessica Jaber    00:22:38    So I was at the Madison VA and they saw what was happening and my heart had stopped for 20 seconds all because I was about to get, or I got shot. So I was like, I was afraid of needles. So I got this shot and I'm like, oh no, oh no. And I almost panicked. And I actually did panic and I had an episode and my heart stopped. So they saw that my heart stopped for 20 seconds and that had been happening, almost on a weekly basis after I got out of the military.  

Scott DeLuzio     00:23:17    So just to clarify, just so people who are listening, because we talked about this earlier, so I knew a little bit of what, what you're talking about here, but when you say that your heart stopped, it's not like like in the songs when someone says like, oh my heart skipped a beat. When I, when I saw that, no, it wasn't, it's not like that. It's like your heart literally stopped beating for those 20 seconds. There was like no pumping, no blood flow, nothing like that for, for 20 seconds. And, and so that was leading to obviously you're, passing out, in, in that, that form. Right. But, then it led to seizures as well. Right?  

Jessica Jaber    00:23:55    Yeah. It was. So my heart was stopping for such a long time that it had my body going into seizure-like activities.  

Scott DeLuzio      00:24:02    Right. Yeah. So, and, and so what ended up happening with all that, like is that something that could keep happening or is this is it under control with what's going on with all?  

Jessica Jaber     00:24:15    Yeah, so I was, I was fortunate that they, being the VA, they caught, they saw what was happening. And so that same two days later I had a pacemaker put in, so the pacemaker,  it doesn't cure like the root cause. It doesn't cure that, the anxiety or whatever's causing that panic. But it keeps my heart beating. 

Scott DeLuzio      00:24:41    It's helping the symptoms. 

Scott DeLuzio      00:24:47    I wasn't the best biology student, but I know that that's a big thing. So you want to keep that thing going, so that's good.  . I mean, so that's good. But there's still the panic attacks right there. That's something that hasn't been cured necessarily by the pacemaker. Right?

Jessica Jaber     00:25:05    Right. So I still get heightened awareness, anxiety. , I was mentioning that we crossed the Euphrates, we crossed the Tigris river.  I still struggle with crossing bridges. I panic when I need to cross a bridge. I'm just driving over a long bridge. My heart doesn't stop anymore, which is great.  

Scott DeLuzio     00:25:32    Especially great for the driver. 

Jessica Jaber    00:25:35    Right. But, So there's still some of that.  

Scott DeLuzio    00:25:41    Yeah. And, and that's, it's interesting, like the things that trigger/ Different people from their experiences overseas like you were saying, diving over a bridge is something that triggers this panic attack and this thing, anxiety. But I've talked to so many people who have different things that are not necessarily driving over a bridge, but other things that are just part of normal everyday life. And they trigger this reaction, this anxiety, and panic in them. And it makes it really hard to just go through your day-to-day life. Especially if you live in an area where there's a lot of bridges, right? For, for someone like yourself, or if you, have a lot of other triggers around you, then it makes it hard. And you almost feel like you want to just seclude yourself and stay away from all those things, but that's not always the best solution to the problem, right?  

Jessica Jaber     00:26:38    Exactly. You have to, you have to really get, go there every day and face your fears or face your struggles and just find things that'll help.  

Scott DeLuzio      00:26:52    Yeah, for sure. And, and that's just to clarify, that's not saying like if you have a fear of being shot, but you're not going to go and have people start shooting at you to face your fear. So that's not what we're talking about, but if your fear is of the loud noises from a gunshot or something like that then maybe popping balloons or something like that to trigger that same kind of reaction, but in a much safer way than going and standing out on the other end of a shooting range or whatever, like that would be a bad idea, don't do that. So you, this anxiety and the PTSD is sort of been a part of your life for the last 20 ish years or so. How have you managed with that and what, what have you done to try to cope with, with that too, get through the, these things and be able to live with, with it or, or live better with it for maybe a better way to put it?  

Jessica Jaber    00:27:58    Yeah. So it took me a while.  I've been trying to learn to embrace this part of me because it is ingrained. It is a part of me now, this anxiety. This anxiousness that I feel and, and always being on the ready I've tried multiple things over the years. Medication helps me every day, it was just a hard time to get through every day. So I turned to medication, which has been helpful sometimes. I've also tried massages, just going in and getting those, really tight spots. I mean, anybody would enjoy a massage, right?  But, the VA actually pays for me to go into the community and get these deep tissue massages to relieve some of that stress and the tension that's in my body. So just to, to help relax my body,  

Scott DeLuzio     00:29:17    You mentioned that when we were talking earlier and I'm glad that you brought it up again because that was something I didn't realize that the VA would cover. And I'm sure a lot of other people probably didn't realize that either, but like you were talking about like that, that tension in your jaw or in your shoulders or in your back, or whatever. That tension that you just carry around, a massage could really help release some of that tension and really alleviate some of that. And if the VA is going to pay for it too, give it a try. I think it's, it's worth a shot. I mean, at the end of the day, maybe it doesn't have long-term benefits, for someone, but you got to massage out of the deal. 

Jessica Jaber    00:30:07    Yeah. So, yeah,  it's a bonus that the VA offered that to me.

Scott DeLuzio      00:30:16    I'm really glad you mentioned, and there were some other things like the massage and other things that I wasn't sure that the VA would even cover, you said there were some other things that you've tried as well with varying degrees of success, right?  

Jessica Jaber     00:30:26    Yeah. So I have tried acupuncture, which was an option that they offered to go out into the community and get acupuncture cause they don't specifically offer that at the VA, but it's through, what's called community care is what it's called for. I don't think these options were available maybe 20 years ago.  I feel like the VA may be getting more options,  recently. And these are really great, easy things that, that may help may not help. I didn't care for the acupuncture too much,  

Jessica Jaber     00:31:08    Right. We'll just stay away from needles. I think that could help some other people, I've read a lot about it, so  

Scott DeLuzio     00:31:16    Yeah, for sure. And, and I think these are good options and I think community care is a more recent thing. I think it's, within the last few years, if they started opening it up to other services that were not necessarily provided by the VA, but, but could also help the veteran. So they opened it up so that you can get the treatment at a civilian, acupuncturist, or a massage place or whatever. These are our definite options. And so how did you go about finding out first off that the VA even would cover these things and how did you approach that subject? Was it through your primary care doctor at the VA or was it through some other service that they offered?

Jessica Jaber     00:32:06    Yeah, so I'm active in the VA with a primary care provider once a year, go in. And, also through the Vet Center, the counselors at the Vet Center they learn about learning, learned about things, and, informed me about that.  I'm pretty strong-willed and I wasn't gonna give up on myself, and really wanted to look for things that were going to help me make it through, just every day, right? My everyday struggle with anxiety and nervousness, and PTSD.  How can I make, how can I make every day, a little bit easier? And so I was really doing a lot of research on. Hey, what can help me? and I talked to my primary care provider at the VA and she mentioned acupuncture, she mentioned massage., and she said "we do massages all the time. If that keeps you healthy, if that could get you maybe a way from, office, some of the medications that you rely on, Hey, we'll do that all day long." So I think it was a combination, of me asking questions of, of having a really good provider, a good resource at the vet center. Just to know about these options out there.  

Scott DeLuzio     00:33:41    Yeah. So I guess it's really just a matter of, for the people who are listening, ask what's available in, and see if you can get these types of things, be your own advocate, I guess. Right. go in and say, I heard that the VA will cover massages or acupuncture, or maybe there's some other type of therapy or thing that you think might work for whatever it is that you're going through. It's not necessarily offered by the VA, but maybe they can, maybe they can help with that. So, it's definitely worth asking, do you might have to do a little bit of research on your own to figure out what is available out there even in the community, because if, if there's no acupuncturist in your area, then that, well, that's kind of a moot point, right?  

Scott DeLuzio      00:34:31    You're not gonna, you're going to drive 500 miles away to go find an acupuncturist if there's no one there.  I don't know, maybe you will, but still, it's one of those things where you might need to do a little research ahead of time before you approach your provider for that type of thing. But, I'm glad that you brought those things up because before we talked, I didn't even realize that those would be things that are available through, not necessarily through the VA, but that they would cover them. I think, great feedback and some great information for the people who are listening to know that there are other things available just because of their age that don't necessarily offer them. You still could find the help that you need, through other organizations that might be out there.  And you also mentioned the sensory deprivation float tank thing, how did that work for you? I've seen things about it. I've been curious about it. I just never did it. To me, it's just, I didn't know, really/, I couldn't put two and two together. It's like, how would this work? How is this workout, but what was the experience like for you?  

Jessica Jaber     00:35:47    Yeah. And, I was invited to join. I was invited to go with the counselors through the vet center. Right. So she said, Hey, I think we are gonna offer this to veterans. Let's go try it out. And I think it's just a big pool of water with salt in it. And you just float there,

Scott DeLuzio     00:36:09    Going to click a pod. Right. It's like a thing that closes in on you, like, almost like an egg,  

Jessica Jaber     00:36:14    Like in a shaped pod. Yeah. Until you just float there, no music, really no lights and you just float there. I think that's very soothing to some people, and that might be an option, through the VA. I did not continue on using that. I mean, it sounds super relaxing. I got a little bored, but,  I think when you get over the weirdness of what's going on,  I think it could be very relaxing, soothing, to some people.

Scott DeLuzio      00:36:55    Yeah, sure. And I think with all of these things that we were talking about, whether it's a massage or the acupuncture or the medication, or the other therapies that, that, that people might go through or that you were going through, I think the important thing is you try different things. And if something doesn't work like acupuncture, it didn't work out for you that probably made your anxiety a little bit worse because you don't have needles. And I understand that too because I don't like needles either. But if that doesn't work for you, it's not like all hope is lost. There's definitely other things out there. And, I think it's really a choice to want to get better, to want to be able to cope and deal with some of these stresses and the anxiety and everything better. And if you can certainly choose the other way and just lock yourself in your room and never come out and seclude yourself from the world.  

Scott DeLuzio     00:37:56    And that's your choice. And you certainly could do that but not really living a great life at that point. You're not, you're not living to your fullest potential. But then I hear stories like yours and the things that you've done. And you said, you're like a fighter you're gonna push through and you're going to keep going. And that's exactly what it sounds like you're doing. You're fighting to get yourself better:  to get through whatever issues that are holding you back from living the best version of your own life. And so I applaud you for that. And I think that it's wonderful that you keep on pushing on and keep on trying new things because there's something out there. If you haven't tried it yet, and you haven't found it yet, there's still, there's other things that you haven't tried and you can keep trying and keep trying until you find that thing that works for you.  

Scott DeLuzio    00:39:01    It could be meditation or yoga or, or any number of other things. There's so many things out there, could be art therapy or whatever, there's so many things that people do and they've tried it and been successful with the results that it's like. There's no way you've tried everything. Right. And I'm not talking necessarily specifically to you, Jessica, but I'm talking to whoever might be listening. There's so many things that you could try and do, you just have to keep trying and keep fighting for yourself, and not give up on yourself. And I think that's the name of the game, really.  

Jessica Jaber     00:39:44    Yeah, exactly. Because I wouldn't exactly say that. I found that thing that's gonna cure me. Or that's gonna help me. but I keep on trying and, and sure. It's discouraging. Like, oh man, I can't do acupuncture, but I heard it was really good. Oh, man. But I'm not done giving up. I know that I'm going to keep on searching for those things that call me. So  

Scott DeLuzio     00:40:13    Yeah. And, and that's encouraging to hear that side of things where you've tried something, it didn't work, but you're going to keep trying. I think that's the message I wanted people to take away from this episode is, is that just because one thing or two things didn't work for you all hope isn't lost, it's not like you can just throw in the towel and be like, oh, well, I'm a lost cause. And, this is useless to keep trying. It's not like that at all.  You've got a lot going for you, and you have a lot to keep pushing for. And so I think that that right there just shows that if you want it bad enough, you can keep fighting for it. And you'll find it. I'm confident that you will, whatever that thing for you happens to be, you'll find it.  

Scott DeLuzio      00:41:15   It's just a matter of figuring out what works for you. It's anything else in life, you go to a restaurant and there's a hundred things on the menu. And if you bring a hundred people through the restaurant, they may all pick a different thing on the menu. And they may all say that they had a wonderful meal, but they all had different things. So there are hundreds of options out there for things to help you get better. And it's just a matter of trying them all and, and figuring out what works for until you find the thing that works.   

Jessica Jaber     00:41:53    Yeah. I really appreciate this podcast. Because it sounds like you're doing great work with bringing all of these things together in maybe one spot.  I'm going to go back and I'm going to look maybe something that art therapy will be good for me?  I thank you for bringing all these resources together in one spot.  

Scott DeLuzio     00:42:18    Yeah, absolutely. And, ultimately what I'm trying to do is give the resources and give hope to the people who are feeling like they're at a loss and they don't know where else to turn. And so hopefully things like this and, and stories like yours that are encouraging for the people who don't know what else to do. It's like, well, just keep trying something, Don't just sit there and let things get worse, try something else. I liked that you were able to share that and give that message out. So I really do appreciate it. And I thank you for joining us today, to share your story. I know, some of the stories are not the most fun thing to talk about but I think it's because you did a good service to the people who are listening and I really do appreciate that.  

Jessica Jaber     00:43:16    So thanks for having me, Scott.  

Scott DeLuzio     00:43:17    Absolutely. Thanks for listening to the Drive On Podcast. If you want to check out more episodes or learn more about the show, you can visit our website driveonpodcast.com. We're also on Instagram, Facebook, Twitter, LinkedIn, and YouTube Drive On Podcast. 

]]> 00:43:45 <![CDATA[Transition On Purpose]]> Thu, 03 Mar 2022 08:00:00 +0000 Scott DeLuzio https://drive-on-podcast.castos.com/podcasts/2296/episodes/transition-on-purpose Dennis Volpe spent over 20 years as a Naval Officer, he's the best-selling author of Transition on Purpose, and the founder of the Severn River Leadership Group, which is committed to the development of veteran and first responder-owned small businesses.

Links & Resources

Transcript

Scott DeLuzio    00:00:00    Thanks for tuning into the Drive On Podcast where we're focused on giving hope and strength to the entire military community. Whether you're a veteran, active duty, guard, reserve, or family member, this podcast will share inspirational stories and resources that are useful to you. I'm your host, Scott DeLuzio. And now let's get on with the show. Hey everybody. Welcome back to the Drive On Podcast. Today, my guest is Dennis Volpe. Dennis spent over 20 years as a Naval officer. He's the best-selling author of the book Transition On Purpose, and he's the founder of the Severn River Leadership Group, which is committed to the development of veteran and first responder-owned small businesses. So welcome to the show, Dennis.  

Dennis Volpe   00:00:49    Hey Scott, thanks for having me. I've been excited about our conversation for a while and, absolute look looking forward to,  

Scott DeLuzio      00:00:58     When we first got in touch I was kind of eager to get you on because it sounds like you have a lot of good information and stuff from your background in the military and what you're doing in your training that you do. Why don't you tell us a little bit about your background and tell us a little bit about yourself?  

Dennis Volpe    00:01:22    Sure. Well, I'll start with who I am now. I'm a husband, a dog dad,  and I'm an outdoor enthusiast. I'm a recreational triathlete and a rugby and lacrosse fan. I'm a Traeger grill guy. I'm a bourbon drinker, I'm an author, I'm a songwriter, I'm a retired military officer, and I'm a certified professional coach who helps others get more focused, more aligned, and more fulfillment out of the work they do in the life they lead. And right now I'm a principal leadership consultant coach with the Leadership Research Institute.  

Scott DeLuzio     00:02:08    That's great.  And you've talked about your military transition a little bit. I like to kind of hear a little bit about that. What your transition was like because it's a topic that we discuss a lot on this podcast. Because of how difficult it can be, how many veterans struggle with transitio...

]]> full 155 false Dennis Volpe spent over 20 years as a Naval Officer, he's the best-selling author of Transition on Purpose, and the founder of the Severn River Leadership Group, which is committed to the development of veteran and first responder-owned small businesses.

Links & Resources

Transcript

Scott DeLuzio    00:00:00    Thanks for tuning into the Drive On Podcast where we're focused on giving hope and strength to the entire military community. Whether you're a veteran, active duty, guard, reserve, or family member, this podcast will share inspirational stories and resources that are useful to you. I'm your host, Scott DeLuzio. And now let's get on with the show. Hey everybody. Welcome back to the Drive On Podcast. Today, my guest is Dennis Volpe. Dennis spent over 20 years as a Naval officer. He's the best-selling author of the book Transition On Purpose, and he's the founder of the Severn River Leadership Group, which is committed to the development of veteran and first responder-owned small businesses. So welcome to the show, Dennis.  

Dennis Volpe   00:00:49    Hey Scott, thanks for having me. I've been excited about our conversation for a while and, absolute look looking forward to,  

Scott DeLuzio      00:00:58     When we first got in touch I was kind of eager to get you on because it sounds like you have a lot of good information and stuff from your background in the military and what you're doing in your training that you do. Why don't you tell us a little bit about your background and tell us a little bit about yourself?  

Dennis Volpe    00:01:22    Sure. Well, I'll start with who I am now. I'm a husband, a dog dad,  and I'm an outdoor enthusiast. I'm a recreational triathlete and a rugby and lacrosse fan. I'm a Traeger grill guy. I'm a bourbon drinker, I'm an author, I'm a songwriter, I'm a retired military officer, and I'm a certified professional coach who helps others get more focused, more aligned, and more fulfillment out of the work they do in the life they lead. And right now I'm a principal leadership consultant coach with the Leadership Research Institute.  

Scott DeLuzio     00:02:08    That's great.  And you've talked about your military transition a little bit. I like to kind of hear a little bit about that. What your transition was like because it's a topic that we discuss a lot on this podcast. Because of how difficult it can be, how many veterans struggle with transitioning. They see the light at the end of the tunnel DD214, that shiny object sitting at the end of that tunnel. And they're ready to go and just snatch it and move on with their life. But then after getting out of the military, they struggle because of various things. They've lost the identity of being a service member, or they've lost a camaraderie with the other service members that they were with. And, they struggled relating with civilians or any number of other things. So we've heard a lot of these stories before, but what kind of advice would you have for people who are transitioning out of the military?  

Dennis Volpe     00:03:09    So I've had the opportunity, Scott, to do executive and transition coaching. For the past five and a half years after I retired, I went through Columbia University to become a certified coach. And I'm now an international coaching Federation, professional certified coach. Where do I focus my efforts? I focus my efforts on emotional intelligence, on resilience, value-based leadership, and strength-based leadership and transition.  What have I found over the past couple of years? Well, I've had the opportunity to work with a ton of transitioning military veterans, whether that has been through team red, white, and blue, whether that's been through the American corporate partners, veteran mentor program, or camp Southern ground, or I'm on the board for camp resilience up here in New Hampshire. There's been five kinds of buckets that I've seen people kind of fall into when it comes to transition.  

Dennis Volpe     00:04:20    And the first one is self-awareness being able to identify how you have defined success, spending time and doing, doing that work. And I like to say doing that hard work that connects both your head and your heart and identifies first: your objective, how have you defined success for you and those who matter to you and then identify what really matters based on that definition of success, and then why it matters. So that way you can focus your energy, your attention, and your effort on those things.  Because the first hurdle or the first bucket is a lack of self-awareness. The second bucket is a lack of self-management. Very often that definition doesn't exist because we've spent time just getting after whatever we're getting after that day. And because we don't have that definition of success, and we really haven't identified what really matters.  

Dennis Volpe    00:05:27    We're unable to focus our energy, our attention, and our effort on those things. And as a result, we don't have the right boundaries in place. We don't have the right support systems in place for us to manage our lives the way we want to. And very often we confuse change and transition. Changes. The fact is, 2020  has taught us that 2021 has taught us that. But also guess what? It doesn't matter if you're a private, it doesn't matter if you're an airman, a seaman doesn't matter, or if you're a general or an Admiral or whatever your time in the military is going to end. So that is a fact, whether it's at two years, four years or 40 years transition the word we talk about all the time as a choice, how you transition from military service to your civilian life is a choice that you get to make.  

Dennis Volpe     00:06:28    And then what military men and women, at least in my experience, are really good at. And I was good at it too, is confusing endurance or perseverance or grit with resilience, right? You hear the word resilience all the time. And very often people say, oh, it's about having grit. Well, grit is part of it. And I've got a really good friend and colleague and she talks about, well, when do you need resilience? Well, it's when your grit hits the fan, right? When your endurance, when your perseverance, and your grit are no longer serving you in a positive way, that's when we need resilience, right? And resilience is all about leaning into change, leaning into adversity, leaning into those things that challenge us and be better on the other side. And when you think about, well, what do I need to think about to be my most resilient, self-clarity and focus, mental wellness, physical wellness, your mind, your body.  

Dennis Volpe    00:07:37    And then I'd like to call it your tribe, your social wellness, your connection, your connection with like-minded people who are going to challenge you to be better today than you were yesterday and better tomorrow than you were today. Then finally your spirit, your spiritual wellness, and your sense of purpose, which goes back to your self-awareness, what matters to you and how you're going to get after it. Because when you have that spiritual wellness, when you have that sense of purpose, you're going to have mental toughness. You're going to have the grit to keep moving. And then finally there's always this. And I was absolutely guilty of it. There's this innate fear to ask for support, right? Because I didn't want to admit that I can't do all this on my own. And guess what? Life is a contact sport. And I could say that as a former football player, a former rugby player, and a former lacrosse player, right. I understand context sports, but life is a contact sport. You're going to get knocked down, whether it's personally, whether it's professionally or both, but life is also a team sport,  

Scott DeLuzio      00:08:43     And without that, that team support, that tribe, the social support, the other people in your life you're really only ever going to be as good as you are yourself and you can't grow from just a stagnant position like that. And so if you're looking to, move on and transition that were, or like, that change is inevitable, that things always are changing. If you're looking to change in a positive way, you're probably gonna need some support from other people who have been there and are stronger in certain areas than you are. And, it can help guide you in the right direction. So that way you're, you're not stumbling and making the same mistakes that they made maybe 20 years ago. And they're able to help guide you in that right direction.

Dennis Volpe    00:09:46    A hundred percent. And it's not probably us, we actually need support. And, I don't know if you've read Sebastian Younger's book tribe, and that was a really impactful book for me during my transition to really understand what that loss of connection that loss of comradery might do. And that's why I got involved with team red, white, and blue. That's why I got involved with Team Rubicon. That's why I got involved with the mission, continues to have that comradery, to have that support. And that was five, six years ago. And I'm still connected with some of those people today,  

Scott DeLuzio     00:10:32   . And those connections are not one of those ones and done. I made this connection. Okay. I used it for all it's worth today. And, and now I'm, now I'm done. I can, and I'm great. And I can move on and go at it, go it on my own. Like you're continuing to grow. Those people are continuing to grow and you're going to continue to help each other out over time as well. I would imagine. Right.  

Dennis Volpe     00:10:58     I would argue that that's the difference between networking and connection. Right, right. And, truly connecting.  I reflected on my 2021 and concluded that I was really concerned or consumed about expanding my network, right. Getting five, 10,000 followers here, there, and everywhere. And what I neglected was connecting with the network that already existed and really diving deeper instead of trying to expand what was, what was there. And that's my commitment to 2022 is to really connect deeper. So that way I can continue to be the best version of myself  

Scott DeLuzio     00:11:52    And to help those other people that you're connecting with to be able to become the best versions of themselves as well because we all are trying to help each other out. I would imagine in a lot of cases where, if you're making these connections, you are,  you're making them for mutual benefit. ideally you probably shouldn't be making them for a hundred percent selfish motives. Right, and so when, when you're making this for a mutual benefit, keeping these connections open, even if you don't necessarily have anything that this person's going to offer to you in the short term,, you might be able to offer something to them. And then that just helps each other grow and grow and grow and grow. And then,  additional connections can be made,  down the line. And that just helps everybody. So I think those are really great points. 

Dennis Volpe   00:12:55    So the thing that I really believe is that life is a contact sport. I really believe that life is a team sport, but I also believe, and I know you're an army guy, but as a Navy guy, a rising tide raises all boats. You invest in other people when you take the time and you make the effort. Because the other thing I really believe is that deeds matter much more than your words do, right. Your execution rather than your intention is what matters. And when you invest in other people and when you connect deeper with other people, you're going to not only make your life better, you're going to make their lives better. And, as Pollyanna as it may sound, you're going to make the world a better place.  

Scott DeLuzio      00:13:36    Yeah, absolutely. So this idea of this personal resilience that you were talking about, how does someone kind of build that up in, in themselves? Is that something that, that they take away from their, their military career, or is that something that, that is, That they can work on, on their own, or, or is it something that they, they, like you were saying before that could use the help of others to build up that, that personal resilience?  

Dennis Volpe     00:14:11    So Scott, what if I said yes? All those questions, we can rewind the clock for me., I'm a simple kid from Long Island who played lacrosse and I got recruited by West Point. I got recruited by the Naval academy and ultimately decided to code to the Naval academy. And, yeah, it was tough for me.t was really tough. The physical side wasn't too bad, but the academic side was rough.  and really just the whole environment. And what I mean by that is, to say being a big fish,in a little pond, just everybody that goes to the Naval academy, they were varsity athletes, they were class presidents or vice presidents. So the bar is pretty high.  

Dennis Volpe    00:15:15    So you go from being that big fish in that little pond to just being a fish. And you're like, oh, all right, not only am I just a fish, there's bigger fish here. There's faster fish here. There's smarter fish here. I think going into a service academy, at least for me, was a very, very humbling experience. And then you couple that with the academic rigor and everything else that's associated with it, and that I would say that's where some of the seeds of resilience started up. But also I like to say that athletics, understanding what's required to win, also plants those seeds. I had a very, very successful career, and got to do a lot of cool things. I  got asked to go back to the Naval academy to teach leadership.  

Dennis Volpe     00:16:13    You've got to hang out with the army. I like to call it my Navy appreciation tour because I was an operational planner with the army in Afghanistan. And then I got selected for command. So, military life absolutely makes us more resilient, because of the lifestyle. We have tough times and, but we probably don't look at it that way. It wasn't until I was in command, that I realized what it really, really meant to be resilient. What do I mean by that?  I'm not a big, big fan of the Winter Olympics anymore. People ask me why, well, when I was in command, we got assigned to support the 2014 Sochi Olympics. And we were doing a national tasking mission and we were off the coast of Sochi and we were close enough that you could actually see the Olympic torch, in the foreground of the Sochi mountains.  

Dennis Volpe     00:17:30    Close enough that the Russians were interested in our presence and close enough that. The highest levels of the military and civilian chain of command back home were interested in what we were doing. So professionally on top of a mountain, doing cool stuff, and what you were doing actually mattered. You fast forward a couple of weeks and we had a checkoff station and went to get gas and sailed across the Black Sea. And we're entering the port. And we had an operational mishap and we ran aground,, and we broke the propeller and we were done, deemed non-mission capable, during a time of heightened tensions in the Black Sea region. So in a matter of two weeks, you went from being on the highest mountain. You could professionally go to the lowest valley personally and professionally because you're a can-do guy, or you're a can-do girl.  

Dennis Volpe    00:18:31    Who's been doing the deeds. Who's been in the arena for 18 years and doing really good stuff. And then two weeks later you get relieved of command and you have to figure out who you are. You've got to figure out what matters to you and what you're going to do about it. That's when I really embraced resilience and really embraced what mental clarity meant, what focus meant, what alignment meant, and what it really meant to take care of your body, because the stress of being relieved of command and trying to figure out your life is, it's tough. And then it truly cemented what social wellness was all about and what connection was about and what it meant to really be energized by people outside of yourself. Then having that sense of purpose. Probably a very, very long answer to a very short question.  

Scott DeLuzio      00:19:32    It's good to have the background to see the highs and the lows and how that all happened in a very short period of time  where you are at the top of your game and then literally run a ground. It kind of turned everything upside down for you and being able to bounce back from something like that is the key. Not just letting that be the thing that defines you. It's like, oh, well, I'm on this terrible, I screwed something up and there's no hope for me, there's no future, I, can't bounce back from this, but that's not true, in, in a lot of cases where, there's things that can be done to bounce back from this.   

Dennis Volpe     00:20:33    And I want to, I actually want to change a word that you're using if that's okay.  

Scott DeLuzio      00:20:38    Sure.  

Dennis Volpe     00:20:38    Bounce forward from it. ,  

Scott DeLuzio     00:20:41    Sure. Yeah.. Actually, that's a lot more sense. Yeah. It's not bouncing backward going back to where you were, because bouncing forward to where you want to be.  

Scott DeLuzio      00:20:51    Exactly. Yeah that makes sense. And, thinking about the language is probably important as well. So that way you're thinking about it in a different mindset. So you're thinking I can't change the past. I can't make that thing that happened go away and just forget that it even happened. What can we do to change the future? 

Scott DeLuzio      00:21:17    Right. The lessons learned from the failures in life, which let's just face it, we've all failed at something at one point or another. The lessons that you've learned are the things that help get you to where you need to be in terms of your own growth and development.

Dennis Volpe     00:21:37    A hundred percent. Sometimes I get asked why coaching and why should I work with you as a coach? And my immediate answer is, well, I know what success is, and I know what success looks like. I know what success feels like, and I know what it is that's required to be successful. And I also know what it feels like to fail, but I also know what it takes not to be a failure, because all of the things that you talked about, all of that self-doubt, all of that questioning, all of that stuff. Yeah. I was on that road. I was in that Briar Patch and, with the help of others to include some coaches that I worked with, I was able to move in a positive direction like to say that the awesome part of, and I didn't get all the way there, but, the awesome part of rock bottom is that it provides an amazing solid foundation to move in a positive direction.  

Scott DeLuzio      00:22:48    It's at rock bottom. The only direction you can go is up. Right.  What's the choice that we make, right? I mean, I suppose you could also pull out a shovel and keep digging, but that's not, that's just going to be, yeah. That's, that's just self-sabotage and, and you're, you're not helping anything at that point. And Hopefully,  you're not going in that direction, but, but it does, it does give you a good launching point to propel yourself further and better off than you wonder for. As far as that foundation goes,  you think about all of the mistakes that you've made in your life. And this is for people listening and you as well. But when you think about all of the mistakes that  you've made in your life, how many of them are really as completely devastating as we make them out to be in our minds because maybe they were embarrassed or they changed the trajectory of your career. If you use those things for what they're worth as learning lessons, even if it does get you fired from a job or demoted or whatever, it doesn't mean that you can't learn and grow from that and become a better person from those things, if you allow that to happen.  

Dennis Volpe    00:24:18    A hundred percent and why do I get on podcasts? Well, interestingly enough I was kind of in that little, I'll call it the pity prison of, oh, I failed. And everybody knows that I failed. Well, one of the key takeaways, from my crucible experience, is that we actually think we're more important than we are. I let myself sit in that little pity prison probably for two years, arguably,  where that self-doubt was there. That literally questioning where you're going and why you're going there. And I assumed, right. And we always hear, well, what happens when you assume that everybody knew what happened? And funny enough, I didn't talk about it either. And it wasn't till I was on a podcast. And, it would be Jeff Hancher, it was the first time I talked about what happened to me and how it affected me and everything else. And fortunately, or unfortunately, it was like the most viewed most commented upon post that I made on LinkedIn ever,  about me failing and  

Scott DeLuzio      00:25:54    That you wanted to have, right.  

Dennis Volpe     00:25:56    Oh, interestingly enough, Scott, the reason there were so many comments was because so many people didn't know, they were like, and these were people that were in the Navy. These were people that were my classmates from the Naval academy, who I thought knew and who I thought judged me and who, all of that stuff. None of that was true. And that literally, that one, I don't want to say that one event, that one podcast opportunity, unlocked some of my human performance. It absolutely did. Right. And that's what coaching is all about. My coaching is about unlocking human performance. I don't care if it's on a rugby pitch. I don't care if it's on a lacrosse field. I don't care if it's in a boardroom or in a manufacturing facility. If you're a coach, if you're trying to get somebody to that next level, it's about unlocking human performance, and sometimes to unlock human performance, you've got to help that person, whoever he or she is, get out of their own way.  And that's what the coaches that I worked with helped me do.  

Scott DeLuzio     00:27:09    And a lot of times we can be our biggest critic, our biggest enemy in terms of sabotaging our own success and, and future. We know the things that have happened. We know the things that, maybe we made a mistake and we screwed something up or whatever. We're filled with that self-doubt where we're like, okay, I'm just not good enough for whatever this is because, well, I clearly screwed this thing up before. And so how could I be good enough for that. But you don't grow with that kind of mindset and attitude.You don't get past that. You basically just get stuck and stagnant and you don't ever move forward,  with that kind of mindset. I think a coach or somebody who can help get you out of your own way is definitely a great thing to have when you're feeling stuck, whether it's in your career or personal life. Right. Yeah.  

Dennis Volpe     00:28:18    And that's why that social wellness piece, that tribe piece is such a huge part of personal resilience, right? Because we need to have, I call it your personal QRF, right. And our military men and women on the podcast know what that means. The civilians who might be listening, a QRF is a quick reaction force. Those are the men and women who are on call, who are standing by with the right tools and the right training to help you get out of a jam. And we need to have that. And if you're listening to this podcast and you don't have your personal QRF established, those three to five people that you can call any time of the day and say, I need your support. That is the one thing that you could do today in order to help you move in a positive direction.  

Dennis Volpe    00:29:17    And once you have that QRF established, that's when you start expanding that personal success network, that success network, that includes the people Scott, that you've talked about, right? The mentors, those people who have actually done what you want to do, and you share similar values with, and similar priorities with right, they've done what you want to do in a way you want to do it, and they could show you the way. And then you've got sponsors very similar to mentors, but a little nuanced shared values, shared expectations, and they could show you the way, but they also can clear the way for you and provide opportunities. And then you've got everybody needing energizers, right? Everybody needs that person in their life where you can just call them on the phone or you get a text from them or whatever it is. And it just provides that boost of positivity that you need in your life. And then, and then you've got the trusted colleagues, those people that, like, and trust, and you can have real conversations about real-life stuff. So you're never going at it alone.  

Scott DeLuzio    00:30:35    Yeah, for sure. Having all of those in place, I think makes a ton of sense. It really does help. Like you were saying, energize you and help you to move forward and, and get out of your own way. BEcause my gosh, we get in our own way sometimes, right?. Now the reason why I started off talking about a transition in getting out of the military is your book, and I want to give you the opportunity to talk about your book,  Transition on Purpose. It talks about transition. Tell us what the book's all about and also make sure you let people know where they can go to find it. But, definitely let's talk about that book and hear what that's all about.  

Dennis Volpe     00:31:24    Well, I knowI know that you're an author,I know your book just came out too, Surviving Son and your story. In the story of being a gold star brother and how that has impacted your journey and transition on purpose. It's about my journey and it's kind of in two parts. Part one is kind of what I talked about already. this is who I am, this is where I was. And then this happened, and trying to find out who I was, what mattered to me, and focusing on my values and what I valued. And I think very often military men and women in transition lean on the core values of the service, right, whatever service they were in.  

Dennis Volpe     00:32:23    And for me, honor courage and commitment that makes me who I am, but that doesn't help me make decisions, right. Particularly about career and life, so part two of the book, like I said, I went through the Columbia coaching program and there's three parts of the Columbia coaching methodology. And it's what's up in terms of context, let's talk about what's going on. and then it's content, right? What really, really matters. And then it's conduct, what are you actually going to do about what really matters? So it's kind of a nine-step process to help you through transition. And the first part and this goes back to those stumbling blocks of personal and professional success is self-awareness identifying what matters to you, identifying what your values are. So that way you can make better and more informed decisions about the work you do in the life that you lead.  

Dennis Volpe     00:33:27    And then it's about exploration, and self-management identifying your priorities, identifying your boundaries, identifying what energizes you and needs to be part of your reality moving forward. And then it's about action. It's about identifying that personal success network. It's about having that transition toolkit of personal resilience of mindfulness, of physical wellness, of social connection, and spiritual wellness. And then finally, it's about planning, right? Military men and women. We've got a military planning process, right? There's a way to plan and utilize the military planning process that we all know, and some of us knew it more intimately than others, but you don't like sizing, those tools to play in your life, knowing that guess what change is a fact. And just because you have a plan doesn't mean that it's not going to change, right, but General Eisenhower talked about it. Plans are useless, but planning is essential.  

Scott DeLuzio     00:34:40    It is. And, and having, a plan for the inevitable change that's going to happen is important, just as important as having your initial plan for whatever it is that you're, you're trying to do, knowing that things are going to change at one point or another is important to do, because otherwise, you're, you're setting yourself up for failure when something inevitably does change. 

Dennis Volpe     00:35:09    You know how you have defined success and why you've defined success that way, and what you truly value, it'll be easier to make decisions about whatever that path is.  

Scott DeLuzio      00:35:25   ,For sure. It definitely will be. That's kind of the gist of the book. Obviously, we don't want to give everything away and give all the tidbits away. We want people to go and grab a copy of the book and read that for themselves. Where can people go to find the book?  

Dennis Volpe    00:35:44    So you can go to my website, which is Dennis, dash volpi.com, or you can go to Transition on Purpose.com or you can go straight to Amazon. . And Transition on Purpose. For all those military men and women out there all the proceeds of my book, go to Camp Resilience, which is a veteran transition program up here in New Hampshire that utilizes the outdoors of the lakes region of New Hampshire to help military veterans and first responders bounce forward  in mind, body and spirit in order to successfully transition from military or first responder service to, to their next chapter of things.  

Scott DeLuzio     00:36:32   . It sounds like a great organization. And one that's definitely worthy of that, that type of support. So for everyone out there listening, go check out the book, Transition on Purpose. Not only are you helping yourself, by reading the book and learning some of the lessons contained inside of there, but you'll also be helping out camp resilience and, and all the great things that they're doing as well. I think that that's definitely great. And I'm glad that you're, you're doing that and that you have that book out there for people to read. Where can people go to get in touch with you and find out more about your coaching and everything else that you do?  

Dennis Volpe     00:37:14    Sure. The best of the best places to get a hold of me is through my website,  dennis-volpi.com or via LinkedIn. And  if you can't get a hold of me, either of those two places, you can go to the leadership research Institute, which is L R I Lima Romeo, india.com.you can get a hold of me there.  

Scott DeLuzio      00:37:39   . Great. And I will have links to all of these websites and your social media,LinkedIn, in the show notes. So anyone who's looking to get in touch with Dennis, definitely check out those show notes and you can click through on there, saving you the time of having to look all that stuff up and everything. So, it's all in one place. So check that out, get in touch with Dennis, if you're interested in what he does, or if you want to grab a copy of his book,  all those links will be available there. So, Dennis, again, thank you so much for coming on the show, sharing your story and a little bit of your background. I'm sure we could, we could probably go on and on and dive into a whole lot more, but maybe we can save that for another episode down, down the line, but it's been a pleasure speaking with you today andI thank you again for, for joining us,  

Dennis Volpe    00:38:31    Scott, thank you so much for the conversation and thank you so much the Connection

Scott DeLuzio    00:38:35    Absolutely. Thank you. Thanks for listening to the Drive On Podcast. If you want to check out more episodes or learn more about the show, you can visit our website driveonpodcast.com. We're also on Instagram, Facebook, Twitter, LinkedIn, and YouTube at Drive On Podcast.

]]> 00:39:04 <![CDATA[Healing With Meditation And Yoga]]> Tue, 01 Mar 2022 08:00:00 +0000 Scott DeLuzio https://drive-on-podcast.castos.com/podcasts/2296/episodes/healing-with-meditation-and-yoga Jennifer Boileau is a trauma-centered yoga and meditation teacher, reiki master, and sound healing facilitator. Through these methods, she has helped veterans and first responders get better sleep, conquer their anxiety, and move beyond the intrusive thoughts that overwhelm and exhaust them. She does this all while using non-pharmaceutical methods.

Links & Resources

Transcript

Scott DeLuzio   00:00:00    Thanks for tuning into the Drive On Podcast where we're focused on giving hope and strength to the entire military community. Whether you're a veteran, active duty, guard, reserve, or family member, this podcast will share inspirational stories and resources that are useful to you. I'm your host, Scott DeLuzio, and now let's get on with the show. Hey everybody. Welcome back to the Drive On Podcast. Today, my guest is Jennifer Boileau. Jennifer is a trauma-centered yoga and meditation teacher, a Reiki Master, and a sound healing facilitator. Through these methods. She has helped others to get better sleep, conquer their anxiety and move beyond the intrusive thoughts that overwhelm and exhaust them. And she does this all while using non-pharmaceutical methods. I'm happy to have her on the show where she can share some of these techniques and the things that she does to hopefully help some of the listeners out there, reap some of the benefits of it. Welcome to the show, Jennifer.  

Jennifer Boileau    00:01:06    Well, thanks so much for having me. I really appreciate you and all the work you're doing. Thank you so much.  

Scott DeLuzio    00:01:12    Yeah, absolutely. I'm glad you're able to come on the show. A former guest of mine on this show introduced us and got us together. And I'm really grateful for this opportunity to have you on to be able to share, what you do and everything. But before we dive into that, could you tell us a little bit about yourself and your background?  

Jennifer Boileau     00:01:38    Yeah, sure. Everything that I share now, all these research-based methods all are the kinds of things that I wish I had when I was younger. Basically, we say we teach what we need. I'm definitely teaching what I need.  I kind of grew up with a lot of anxiety. I was a swimmer at a decent level where there were some pretty high intensity, meets and stuff I was going to, and I was having horrific chest pains and after so many, doctors and everything else, they kept saying there's nothing wrong. And we realized I was having panic attacks, literally in the water, in these major races, which is really not a good thing. That kind of anxiety throughout my high school and college career really kind of took a toll.  

Jennifer Boileau    00:02:37    I wasn't really sure where to turn. I did  try some medications along the way through my doctor and I just never felt like anything landed right with me. And then if you kind of fast forward a little bit to when I was expecting my first daughter, I started getting into yoga, like prenatal yoga, and I know I'm dating myself, but they were on VHS tapes back in the day. And I really found that I was drawn to the meditative aspect of the practice. I was drawn to the physical aspect and I really didn't understand wha...

]]> full 154 false Jennifer Boileau is a trauma-centered yoga and meditation teacher, reiki master, and sound healing facilitator. Through these methods, she has helped veterans and first responders get better sleep, conquer their anxiety, and move beyond the intrusive thoughts that overwhelm and exhaust them. She does this all while using non-pharmaceutical methods.

Links & Resources

Transcript

Scott DeLuzio   00:00:00    Thanks for tuning into the Drive On Podcast where we're focused on giving hope and strength to the entire military community. Whether you're a veteran, active duty, guard, reserve, or family member, this podcast will share inspirational stories and resources that are useful to you. I'm your host, Scott DeLuzio, and now let's get on with the show. Hey everybody. Welcome back to the Drive On Podcast. Today, my guest is Jennifer Boileau. Jennifer is a trauma-centered yoga and meditation teacher, a Reiki Master, and a sound healing facilitator. Through these methods. She has helped others to get better sleep, conquer their anxiety and move beyond the intrusive thoughts that overwhelm and exhaust them. And she does this all while using non-pharmaceutical methods. I'm happy to have her on the show where she can share some of these techniques and the things that she does to hopefully help some of the listeners out there, reap some of the benefits of it. Welcome to the show, Jennifer.  

Jennifer Boileau    00:01:06    Well, thanks so much for having me. I really appreciate you and all the work you're doing. Thank you so much.  

Scott DeLuzio    00:01:12    Yeah, absolutely. I'm glad you're able to come on the show. A former guest of mine on this show introduced us and got us together. And I'm really grateful for this opportunity to have you on to be able to share, what you do and everything. But before we dive into that, could you tell us a little bit about yourself and your background?  

Jennifer Boileau     00:01:38    Yeah, sure. Everything that I share now, all these research-based methods all are the kinds of things that I wish I had when I was younger. Basically, we say we teach what we need. I'm definitely teaching what I need.  I kind of grew up with a lot of anxiety. I was a swimmer at a decent level where there were some pretty high intensity, meets and stuff I was going to, and I was having horrific chest pains and after so many, doctors and everything else, they kept saying there's nothing wrong. And we realized I was having panic attacks, literally in the water, in these major races, which is really not a good thing. That kind of anxiety throughout my high school and college career really kind of took a toll.  

Jennifer Boileau    00:02:37    I wasn't really sure where to turn. I did  try some medications along the way through my doctor and I just never felt like anything landed right with me. And then if you kind of fast forward a little bit to when I was expecting my first daughter, I started getting into yoga, like prenatal yoga, and I know I'm dating myself, but they were on VHS tapes back in the day. And I really found that I was drawn to the meditative aspect of the practice. I was drawn to the physical aspect and I really didn't understand what made me feel so good. I just knew that I felt a lot better. And at the same time, my husband, who now is retired from the police department, was on the police department on the SWAT team, all this high-intensity high-stress stuff.  

Jennifer Boileau    00:03:33    That was also giving me a lot of anxiety at the same time. And it was like, wow , these practices of meditation, yoga,  this kind of centeredness that I was feeling really made a huge difference in how well I was sleeping. It makes a huge difference when you lay down at night and you have these racing thoughts. it's like, wow, I really wish I could shut this off. Right? I mean, it's, and that's, that's a tough thing to deal with when you're not getting enough sleep already, then you're having all these racing or intrusive thoughts. And it was just something that I noticed all of a sudden the edge came off. The more I practiced, the more the edge came off. That's kind of how I got started into being interested in these practices.  

Jennifer Boileau     00:04:27    It wasn't until about 10 years ago that I really dove into my Reiki training. At first, I was very drawn to energy work. That was very interesting to me, especially because medications never seem to help me in a way that I wanted them to either. It made me feel like I was running a marathon and I was sitting still, or it made me want to go to sleep. Like it didn't actually help solve the problem. It just created a new one. And I'm not saying medications are bad, but for me, I was having a really hard time finding relief from the symptoms.  I was started to be really drawn to these non-pharmaceutical methods, to help myself and then realized, wow, this is really helping me. I think this could be really helpful for other people if I dive into the training aspect.  

Jennifer Boileau     00:05:20     That's where the Reiki started. And then that led into yoga, which led into rest meditation. And now I'm a fully certified integrative restoration teacher. And my primary focus really is on supporting our first responders, veteran, and military communities because over my husband's 20 some year career. I certainly know a lot of other wives and have met a lot of people on the job. And, it's like these practices. We need them because whether you're being treated by a doctor for something very specific or whether you're just kind of feeling like I was back in the day where it was like, I'm overwhelmed by this anxiety and this restlessness and the medications really just aren't supporting me, what else can I do? So the more relief I found, the more I wanted to share it. That's kind of where I am now trying to share it with as many people as I can because it's such a great augmentative piece to whatever you're using right now to help heal yourself.   

Scott DeLuzio    00:06:39    And that's one of the things that I like to do on this podcast is share these other types of treatments that people maybe just aren't aware of. They may have never heard of some of these techniques and other things that you use. A lot of people have heard of, of yoga and, and probably are at least vaguely familiar with some of the benefits, but they may not know the specifics of, how does that help? How does it produce a sort of meditative quality in somebody? I'd like to kind of dive into some of these different techniques and talk about the benefits of them, what symptoms they can relieve, what it's like to go through some of these things and what's involved in all of it.  

Scott DeLuzio   00:07:37     The way we can kind of have a better understanding and hopefully, one or more of these things will resonate with someone who's listening maybe feels like they have tried everything. Maybe it's the medications, maybe it's different therapies, whatever. And, they're like, I'm at my wit's end here. I've tried everything. And, then maybe one of these things will kind of ring a bell with them and maybe it'll give them just that little bit of hope that says, I haven't tried everything here. Here's something else that I haven't tried yet.  

Jennifer Boileau    00:08:11    Absolutely. Well, it's interesting. I saw an interview that you did where you talked about some of your coping strategies that maybe you wouldn't choose again. This time around you were saying that you hope people would learn from your experience and sometimes when we're dealing with trauma we go toward the kind of things that take us out of an experience. Help remove us from an experience. And all of these practices do just the opposite, which I know can sound a little bit scary.  If you don't want to sit with this really difficult thing, but what yoga and meditation and breathwork do is take you inside. So it's taking you into the trauma and that's the way you move through. So, detaching yourself from it might help that night, but the next night we're right back at square one.  

Jennifer Boileau     00:09:13    While I'm trained in a few different types of yoga, my biggest piece. I am not a super flexible person. I never have been. Okay. Right off the bat, if people are listening and they're like yoga, eye roll. If you have a picture of some chick on a mountain top, like in a pose, like a pretzel wearing a sponsored outfit, like this is not my yoga. What I'm going to talk about has nothing to do with people in pretzel shapes.. Know that now. The kind of yoga I'm interested in is something that helps bring you into your body to help you move through whatever experience is happening. It's kind of this wonderful side effect that happens. So I was really committed to sharing these practices, as I was moving through my main training with law enforcement, with my husband, being a police officer, I really felt like that was a piece that was missing, to help them process trauma.  

Jennifer Boileau    00:10:21    You're moving from critical incident to critical incident. I'm sure you can relate to that in the military as well. And let me just say upfront, I am a civilian, I have never worn the uniform. I always said, I've never put on the gun belt and the body armor like my husband did, but I have felt its weight. I know the weight of that. I had a front-row seat, so, these practices are meant to help you move through. So I was really committed to honing in my training specifically for the law enforcement military population, which led me to warriors at ease and warriors at ease is an organization that trains civilians, and also people in uniform to be teaching all over the world, specifically addressing the concerns of the military community and first responder community.  

Jennifer Boileau    00:11:21    Military sexual trauma, PTSD, moral injury, I've had fantastic conversations with people who were one guy was a drone pilot and the difficulty of a particular situation he was sharing, did I do the right thing on that long call? I've just got chills, remembering the conversation. Those are some really big aspects that are addressed through this type of yoga. It's the kind of yoga that doesn't care. If you can touch your toes.. You don't have to wear a cute outfit. You don't have to be, like a really super skinny girl with a latteJust take that out of your mind. This is for guys too. I had a guy in class the other night who was a Marine or is a Marine, excuse me, he's just retired, always a Marine.  

Jennifer Boileau     00:12:24    I was like, well, I better correct myself. And he said this was his first time coming to one of my classes. And he shared that he had been to something before. And he said, I thought it was a bunch of baloney. One of my buddies that I served with took me to this class and I was like, you're right. This is a mess. This sounds crazy. This is like some like woo whatever. And he said it changed my life. And that's the thing. When you allow yourself to be in the presence of someone who is trained to be a guide.  Like I'm not the one doing the healing for you. You're doing it for yourself. I'm just your trained guide. When you allow yourself to work with someone who is trained in this way, you might be really surprised how helpful it can be for everything that you've experienced and what you need to move through.  

Jennifer Boileau   00:13:27     I kind of loved hearing that from him the other night. And then after class was over, he talked for quite a while about his experience. Tonight was amazing. You took me right back to this fantastic experience. I had that place where I had ease when I was deployed in the middle of something that was really hostile. And that's important. That's a life-changing piece. And that's what warriors did he really wants it to do was to create practices that no matter where you are if you're deployed, if you're back home after being deployed, if you are in a job, that's moving through critical incident after critical incident that yes, you have this high-stress side of your job, of your life, all the adrenaline that you love. But in your moments of downtime,  what are you doing for yourself to help regulate your nervous system?  

Jennifer Boileau    00:14:24    Because that's what this all comes down to. I think a lot of people that are in these high-stress situations for prolonged periods of time. There's a lot of things happening. There's a lot of major changes happening in the brain.  And a lot of changes are happening through your nervous system, where you're constantly in this fight, flight, freeze all the time, and you never get to dip into that rest and digest side of the nervous system. for that, that heavy go, go, go, sympathetic nervous system, hypervigilance to this parasympathetic side of rest and digest,  suddenly there's more saliva production. Your digestion gets better. Elimination is better. All these things, all this like wonderful domino effect happens, when you are regulating your nervous system. hrough this type of yoga, we're trying to help you get more grounded, meaning it's not this hardcore Vinyasa running you into the ground.  

Jennifer Boileau     00:15:30    If I say Vinyasa and you're like, "what?" It's kind of that up dog down dog, the typical, fast-moving or faster moving yoga that you might see on, I don't know, TV or something, or have a picture in your mind. It's a little more restorative. You might like starting out in something we call constructive rest where you're, lying down on your back and your knees are bent and your feet are pressed into the floor, giving you that sense of ground, letting you feel connected to the ground, supporting you. And then from there moving through some movements where we're going to use some cross-lateral movement to help engage both hemispheres of the brain, some mismatched movements to kind of confuse the brain a little bit and make it talk to each other a little bit more on both sides.  

Jennifer Boileau     00:16:24    There's a lot of things that might seem like, okay, sure, we'll do these movements, but there's so many things behind the scenes happening, especially in the brain and in the nervous system, that's helping to kind of restore you back to this homeostasis, getting you back to center and allowing you to have that downtime. Because when you give yourself that time to come down when you're not in that hypervigilant, on patrol kind of mindset and your body's in that high sense of alert you're creating for yourself. This wonderful heart rate variability, meaning your heart rates are actually able to come down. If you're hypervigilant and you are just ready to go all the time and your brain never shuts off and you just don't stop even when you're off, you're going, going, going, going.  

Jennifer Boileau    00:17:25    And it's like, oh my gosh.  It's exhausting thinking about that. You might even have someone in your mind. T I know exactly who's doing that. You're putting yourself at higher risk for a cardiovascular event, quite honestly, because you're keeping your heart rates so elevated. And then also at the same time you're reducing your ability to focus.  I used to get so worried with my husband on SWAT, especially if he was out for prolonged periods of time for a standoff or something that was some big event. And I would get so worried, like, oh my gosh, how is he going to be able to focus this long? And, and, and to be this exhausted, but still be able to operate a weapon if he needs to appropriate, like quickly and fast enough then and I know you guys all rely on your training and I had to trust his training too, and all that good stuff, but it, that kind of thing, it just, it always just gave me anxiety.  

Jennifer Boileau    00:18:34    And then I ended up meeting to come down a little bit too,  but that's the thing when you give yourself that downtime, suddenly that heart rate variability comes into play and your focus becomes a lot better when you're in those kinds of situations. It doesn't even have to be yoga, but if you have something that you do, when you're outside of those high-intense events, something that brings your heart rate down. You need something that gives yourself a chance to kind of hit the reset button, know that you're doing something really, really good for yourself and that you are increasing your ability to focus and, and to be able to operate under really tough, really difficult conditions. And, maybe when you are super exhausted and everything else, but you have that ability to hone in focus and operate the way you want to, the way you want the person who's your cover to be operating.  

Scott DeLuzio    00:19:33    Yeah, for sure. And you said a couple of things that I just want to circle back to real quick, maybe an analogy that might make some more sense to someone who might be listening. Not that what you said didn't make sense. Because it's certainly good, but just the way my mind works. And the other thing,  you were saying some of the stuff where if you're operating at super high intensity, always on the go kind of operation  at some point you're gonna have some problems, whether mental or cardiovascular or some other kind of problems are probably going to happen. But to me when you said that it was kind of like thinking about a car constantly running on like the redline, like full max power all the time.  

Scott DeLuzio   00:20:28    That car is going to probably break down pretty soon, much sooner than it would if you drove it kind of more normally where it's not constantly redlining and everything. It's almost the same thing because it's running at an intensity level that it wasn't designed to run at all the time. It could get that high every once in a while, but the car is not designed to be constantly, max power all the time. It's just not what it's designed to do. And I think that an analogy might, hopefully, hit home with somebody. Well that does make sense. I have been running at max power or max intensity, whatever you wanna call it, in my job or, or whatever, after even after coming home from a deployment or if you're law enforcement or whatever, after a shift, you come home and you're still at that max intensity, you're going to crash at some point you might be able to do it for a short period of time, but you're gonna crash at some point.  

Scott DeLuzio  00:21:39    It is important to be able to bring yourself back down and relax and find that kind of centered calm place where you can, you can just kind of stop that high-intensity newness. But then you're also talking about how what you do is you don't make these people. You don't make them get to that point, but you coach them to get there. And what popped in my head was just thinking of an athlete in any sport, whether it's baseball, or golf, or football, or whatever it is, you have a coach who teaches you how to swing a bat or hit a golf ball or throw a football. But on game day, the coaches and out there swinging the bat for you, you're still the one who's out there. the coaches there who's doing that for you and showing you the proper technique, the proper grip, the stance that, all the things that you need to know, and then it's up to you to implement those things. So, while all of this stuff is great,it's still up to the individual to implement some of this stuff. 

Jennifer Boileau     00:23:01    Absolutely. That makes perfect sense.  I always tell people, if you are in a, whether you go to a yoga class or any kind of class, whatever, it might be a meditation class, whatever, and the person is like, I'm going to heal you, please leave. Okay. Please leave. Because I'm not like some magical person going to wave a wand and everything's going to get fixed. No, I'm trained to be your guide. You are the one that has to really open yourself up to the practice and what it can do for you. And honestly, a lot of times I see people come, especially now. I know, all my vets, I love all my vets okay. That I work with. But I love when a gnarly older guy is like, yeah, right. And then I come in and say, we're going to do this integrative restoration meditation.  

Jennifer Boileau    00:24:00    And he's like, right. And then I watched him just melt,  like for the first time just being guided through this protocol, this very particular protocol, which iRest has, and all of a sudden, they just softened just a little bit. And it's like, I don't know what you just did, but I know I want more of that. When are you coming back? And that's the best thing because you discover yourself, right. A teacher in this kind of work, our job is to help you peel back these layers. Right. Because truly, I think what people need to know is that you're not broken. Right. If you've had extreme trauma, if you've been through the worst of the worst, if you have just walked through hell and you feel like it's just all over you, like part of you, like you're fused with it.  

Jennifer Boileau     00:24:57    That doesn't have to be the case. We can't change the past, but know that you are completely whole, and there is nothing to fix. There is nothing to change. You are not broken, but there are maybe some harder layers on the outside. We need to just peel back. My job is to help you remember. Remember what it felt like to feel into your body, remember what it felt like to be able to use your breath. I mean, you're breathing, breathing right now. Like some people are like really breathing work, really I'm breathing. Thanks, Jen. It's no different kind of breathwork to help you activate your nervous system in a particular way to kind of bring in that relaxation response. It might seem really simple, but sometimes the simplest things are all we need, right. So I always just say, we need our brain, our breath, and our body.  

Jennifer Boileau     00:26:01    And it's my job to help you remember how to use the tools. You already have to give yourself that rest, to be able to bring yourself back down when you're stepping away from that critical incident. And while your body might remember trauma, and while you may have some, a flashback that arrives and it, it doesn't arrive just like a memory on its own, right? It might come back as a full-body event. Trauma gets remembered by being in life and in the body. And it might make you feel like you're standing right back in that same situation. It comes back as this full-body event. I teach you how to, not just run from that or shut down from that, but just peel back a little bit of those layers and how to touch the edges of that trauma and how to trust yourself and connect with that felt sense of safety that you have within you, in iRest, we call it your inner resource and connect with that time and place when you felt the most at ease. that when you feel that deep trauma, when that shows up and really just takes over trusting that how to lean back into this inner resource that you have and that when you're ready, maybe you'll come back to touch the edges of that trauma again until you're like, this is enough. And then you back off and that's a whole other, that's a whole other discussion, which I'm happy to talk about. But yeah.  

Scott DeLuzio   00:27:41    And there are, there are really good points there that you made where you don't want to just run away from that trailer because then it becomes this thing that's, basically almost paralyzing you where you can't continue doing whatever it was that you were doing when those intrusive thoughts or memories or whatever, come back up. It's almost like this thing happened to you and you have to learn now how to continue living with it. It's there. It's not going away necessarily, but it's going to take some practice and some work in order to figure out how to continue on with it. that you're not paralyzed whenever these things pop back up. Right?  

Jennifer Boileau   00:28:49    Absolutely. And that is probably what I love about iRest the most. And I don't know if you and I chatted about it prior to, I can't remember, but iRest started because of people coming back from deployments, they were coming into Walter Reed. And instead of just being handed a bag of meds and saying, all right, let's see how that goes. And you probably know it doesn't go well. Because  here's one pill for this. Here's a pill to mask this. And then you're going to have more crazy side effects than this one. So take this to cover those. I'm not an anti-medication person, but they were noticing that people arriving back from deployments were struggling heavily with PTSD. Dr. Richard Miller is the founder of iRest and he started using iRest practices and developing this protocol at Walter Reed.  

Jennifer Boileau     00:29:50    And that's where it was born to help process this. Basically we just step-by-step or teach you how to develop how to live from a space of intention. And that might not be a word that we all grew up with. What's my intention today? Sometimes when we've gone through something really traumatic, this kind of framework can be extremely helpful. Helping to move you through something that we call your heartfelt mission, what do you want more than anything how's life living itself through you. What's your reason why right now? Maybe it's living life with your family or your kids, or maybe it's you having this desire to do something in the community, something like helping to take that focus.

Jennifer Boileau     00:30:51    You've had this pain and difficulty, but can I bring you back into the present moment and help you develop some key pieces of self so that you learn to kind of feel into all of that. Again, you learn to trust yourself a little bit recognizing this sense of safety from within that inner resource that we talked about. The one gentleman in class who had been deployed was saying, there was this beautiful spot, this beach with this high mountain. And he said you took me right back there. And that's the cool thing. I was speaking to a room full of people, and everyone had a very, very different experience. And that's a key piece of if you are dealing with PTSD, if you are dealing with these really intrusive thoughts or military sexual trauma, or sexual trauma outside of the military, it's important that your teacher is a trauma trained or trauma-informed teacher that they are careful.

Jennifer Boileau    00:32:01     I want to hold the space so that people are able to have an experience and not feel out of control or not feel uncomfortable by that. While I'm talking to everybody in the room, I'm just kind of giving you guidance. For instance, think about a time that you felt the most at ease, does a memory start to arise, Now in class, I wouldn't give examples, but, for here, I'll give an example. Is it like being at your grandmother's house? And she was making you breakfast? Is it being with your family, a pet, or is it a person or maybe a vacation or a place you would love to go and you just envision like, oh God, I feel so good when I'm in this place where there's, there's not a care in the world.  

Jennifer Boileau     00:32:57    There's nothing to do. There's nowhere, no place to be. What does that feel like? So it's not the memory, that's the resource, right? It's the felt sense. And holding onto that. And then maybe throughout the day, maybe, I don't know, when a commercial comes on TV, you tap back in for a second to that inner resource, let really connect to it. Let yourself feel it, maybe you feel it in your chest, maybe you feel it in your face or your hands, or maybe you're like, well, I don't feel it at all. If you don't feel anything, that's okay. That's something too. Right. Noticing this, not feeling, that's also a feeling so letting yourself develop this sense of safety so that when you are back on patrol, or maybe you are experiencing retraumatization, something's coming back in a breakthrough memory, something like that. Yes, you experience it.  

Jennifer Boileau     00:34:04    And then you tell yourself, okay, let me just tap back into my inner resource for a minute. And when you give yourself that chance to come down, because when you get that felt sense back in the body and remembering like, wow, this memory came back, this trauma came back, that was really upsetting and kind of flooded my body. Well, guess what? You also have the ability to say, that's enough. I'm going to lean back into my inner resource now and give yourself the time, let that fade, and see if you can't live in that felt sense of safety again, because that's coming from within too. And that's a really powerful thing to get a hold of to recognize like, wow, that's within me too, and it's always here and you don't have to go to a store and buy it.  You didn't have to go do anything special. It's like here all the time, your breath is here all the time.  Extending your exhale just a little bit when you're feeling that that uncomfortable memory arises, just maybe extend your exhale for a count or two longer lean into your inner resource. And suddenly you've created a neuro-biological shift. You've created a big change and now your nervous system is thanking God, I've been waiting.

Scott DeLuzio    00:35:38     You mentioned the breathing and just that small shift in exhaling, just a slight bit more few counts more than you normally do. And not that people usually sit around counting how long they're exhaling. What a normal breath is sort of like not one where you're running and you're exercising, and you're almost out of breath and just a normal breath and then just breathe out a little bit more than you usually do. And it's amazing just how much something small, like that, could really have an effect on calming yourself down and just whatever the effect is that it has, it is just incredible. When I first started doing that, yeah, right, whatever breathing, I do this, like you said before  I'm breathing all the time, whatever this doesn't make any sense.  

Scott DeLuzio   00:36:40    But then as I started doing it, focusing on it and really paying attention to what I was doing, it was like, oh my God, where has this been? All my life, so it's really helpful. All of these, these methods, these things that you use between the yoga and, the iRest and everything else that you practice, are the things that are able to be used in conjunction with each other? Or is it something that, if you're more experiencing PTSD type symptoms, use one versus the other, or is it something that they all can kind of work together?  

Jennifer Boileau    00:37:31    Well, they can all definitely work together. I will say that when I'm working with people, I'm working with someone individually, I really try to get to know what's their biggest issue and what's coming up with the most for them. And maybe they're saying like, oh my gosh, like my hips are killing me. If I'm talking to a police officer, hands down, their hips are a mess because they've been sitting in a patrol car, right. Because that sitting in a sitting position, and that stress over time shortens the hip flexors and then I know if we're going to do some yoga or maybe I recommend.  We'll do some yoga, which is all about releasing the fascia that surrounds the muscle to give you some greater flexibility. It is a seated practice for people that have never heard of it before.  

Jennifer Boileau     00:38:24    It's very slow, very calming. And we hold a position for a particular length of time. Think of it as, and I know young people are going to be like, called it deep stretching. Well, it CA sorry, for this description, yes. It is really like some serious deep stretching where you're working with the breath. Like you said,, I've been breathing all the time, because that's the thing, it's this unconscious breath versus a very conscious breath, when you think about how different that is, right. And we're not thinking about it, it's like, Hmm, whatever. But all of a sudden, you place your attention on the breath, and wow. You've just created a really big shift. You're lowering your blood pressure. You're doing all these wonderful things for your body. It seems so simple, but that's the case.  

Jennifer Boileau    00:39:18    When I'm working, one-on-one, I do try and figure out for that person kind of what the prescription, so to speak, is for them. Is it a little bit more of a physical practice, or are we going to work with a specific trauma and, and how to meet that and how to meet it. Right? Where it is, because I think that's the most difficult thing when you're experiencing a deep trauma and maybe you are so fused with it, that you feel that you are this trauma. And I think you can think, you probably know somebody right off the top of your head of like, as soon as you meet them, the first thing they tell you is their trauma. The very first thing they say, oh, oh, I was in such and such company. I had this happen.  

Jennifer Boileau     00:40:07    That's the first thing when you meet them. And that is a big sign that you're just superfused with your trauma and that there's nothing wrong with that. But when you're experiencing that learning to create just a little bit of space to eventually get to the point where you can disidentify with that trauma. You recognize that you are not the event that happened. And sometimes that can be a really difficult thing to do, but through some of these practices, you are able to, just get just enough space. And then we breathe, and then maybe we're working through iRest or some aspects of iRest meditation. The other night I did a class on pain and it was  finding the edges of the pain and staying when you find when you touch that edge and you realize you're kind of getting close to it. How long do you want to stay with that?  

Jennifer Boileau     00:41:21    And it's okay to back off. And again, lean back into that sense of safety and that trust in yourself that you're not going to fall down the rabbit hole here. You're able to have a choice on your end. And that can be a big thing too because when you are overwhelmed with trauma, you feel like you're stuck with it. It's everything. And it's like, when you get that space, you realize I am not this trauma. I am whole, complete, perfect, nothing to be fixed, but there is an issue and I'm going to touch it in times when it feels safe to me. When I teach, public classes or a group class people come with all kinds of things. I don't know, usually ahead of time, what people are experiencing, unless someone comes up and specifically talks to me before class or something.  

Jennifer Boileau     00:42:15    But, typically like the other night, my class was an iRest class. And I had the singing bowls. You said you've heard some of my stuff on SoundCloud, or if you're on iTunes or something. I do use singing bowls. I like to, when I'm in my group classes, they're very calming. They're pure courts and there's cool science behind them too. I am a big science nerd. So now that everything that I do is research-based, there is nothing like, I don't know, the tree just told me to tell you to do this now there's none of that. I am a former special education teacher. I love data. And so, I love research-based methods that kind of come back to the why. The singing bowls that I use are pure courts and in the studies that have been done with them, in particular used in an oncology hospital setting, they like in 30 minutes of the quartz bowls, as if they gave the patient, 10 milligrams of Valium, that's the pain relief that they felt from it.  

Jennifer Boileau     00:43:28     I always joke that if, when I teach an hour class, I'm like, this is 20 milligrams, but don't be telling people that I'm pushing drugs. Because I'm not, they know, I like let's be clear. It's just the same type of pain relief on when, when patients were queried about, their pain scale. Again, another non-pharmaceutical method for helping to relieve some pain. And so in a group class, that's what you might expect where it's an iRest session based on maybe what's going on in the group. Although the other night I did it in pain. And, that Marine sat up afterward and said, that was for me because I've had spinal surgery and from many injuries in the over his time served. And, he's like, I feel amazing. I don't even know what just happened. And I'm like, don't ask questions. That's okay. Just take, yeah.  

Scott DeLuzio    00:44:32    Except it, I mean, if it's working, it's working now, that was another question that I had is, is this something that tends to have pretty quick results in terms of the benefits that people see or, or is this something that they need to practice, time and time again, in order to start seeing these, these types of results? Or, or does it depend? I mean, I suppose it could depend on the individual as well.  

Jennifer Boileau     00:44:59    I think it's a little bit of both. Sometimes people have a mind-blowing like they come up to me and say, how'd that look on their face, like, what just happened? I don't know what you just did, but I feel amazing. So, there, you might have a moment like that you might have an experience like that, or you might say, well, I mean, just from the other night as an example, I had people say, oh my gosh, I came in here with, in so much pain. I feel amazing right now. And it was all from just going into a sensation in the body. Remember, I'm just guiding you into sensation. That's really what I rest is doing, taking you in when normally you want to go out, right? You want, when you want to escape the pain, I'm just taking you in, but I'm taking you in, in a really nice way.  

Jennifer Boileau    00:45:50    You can experience it in a way that's tolerable. I've had a couple of people. Heck yeah, this was amazing. I thought, unbelievable. I had someone else share. That was amazing. But I thought I would go a little, I thought I would go deeper. I thought I would relax more instead. I wanted to run. And I said, okay, well, let's stay with that for a minute. You felt like you were not feeling, but really you felt you wanted to run. Let's kind of touch on that.  it's kind of that squirrel on the box feeling, right? Like, get me outta here. Oh my God, I'm getting too close. And I said, do you think we were getting too close? Because remember we were touching into the pain to the point where you felt like, okay, this is enough.  

Jennifer Boileau   00:46:45    And then back off, I said, remember you were getting really close to a really deep pain that she did share. And I said that was a very big trauma that you're sharing with me. And I'm not surprised at all. It's I think, I think you'd be crazy if you didn't want to run from it. Right. I mean like that's a human thing. It's like a hot stove. You don't want to touch it. Tonight you experienced, touching into that trauma a little longer than maybe you want it to next time when you start to feel that creeping in of that, I have to, I have to get out of here. I don't know if I can experience this. Maybe just allow yourself to take off for a second, notice your breath, let my voice fade into the background and just notice your breathing, extend your exhale.  

Jennifer Boileau     00:47:39    And give yourself that, that grace to say,what? It's okay. I don't have to lean into this hard tonight. There's no striving here in iRest. There's no pushing. There's no forcing. It's just noticing what is and being with what is, and I said, so think about that. Can we just be with the fact that you want it to run the hell out of here and that's okay? I've had that happen to me. And I'm the teacher.. We're human. And she's like, man, I knew you were going to say that, say that. I said, what, what does that tell you? It tells you that next time, I want you to notice when you're getting too close and then I want you to back off and it's okay to have that dance of touching into something that's really difficult.  

Jennifer Boileau     00:48:39    And allowing yourself to back off, it's just reminding yourself that you have this choice that you're not fused. You are separate. How quickly you move through something is going to depend. Everyone's going to experience a difference.  I think I need to lean into this a few more times, but I do recommend yes. Practice little and often you don't need to go find a cave and sit with your legs crossed and hum or something. No, none of that. I mean, I'm talking like a minute here and there literally minutes just, you decide. I'm going to spend one minute, a few times a day. Just noticing my breath. And that might sound really silly.  But it's the truth. If you actually give yourself one minute and just notice your breathing, maybe notice the temperature of the air on your skin.  

Jennifer Boileau     00:49:46    I mean, even right now, sitting in the room you're in and it's like, Hmm, never really thought about that before. Noticing the sensation of the breath as it passes through the nostrils. Like, have you ever thought about or felt into what that feels like? And it's like these little things add up to two big moments of awareness in the body. You'll start to become aware when you're getting a little too close to the trauma during your day. You'll become aware when that starts to creep in and you need a moment. And one thing you mentioned earlier about the breath that is really important. When I was a teacher, I loved accommodations for my students that like no one knew about, I loved kind of like I'd make a bracelet so that they didn't have to. It looked just like a bracelet and that they didn't have to know there was a number on there for them or something,  just something that was kind of looked very normal and no one would know they were getting like, quote.. I love breathwork as an invisible accommodation when it comes to our lives. Whether you're having a hard day or you're sitting in a meeting and you're really overwhelmed because intrusive thoughts don't come at opportune times.  

Scott DeLuzio 00:51:06    No, they never do. That's why they're intrusive. 

Jennifer Boileau    00:51:10    Exactly. And They are triggered sometimes by things that you just wouldn't expect. I mean, maybe it's a car door that you've shut a thousand times, but that car door, this one time, brings something right back that just overwhelms you. And maybe you're in a car full of people and you don't want to have a total breakdown in the car. What are you going to do? You can move through a very simple breathing exercise. No one's going to know what you're doing. It's not going to look anything grand. That's going to draw attention to yourself. So, but yet you're soothing yourself. You're bringing your nervous system down and you're sending me signals to your brain of like, wait a minute. I am safe. Your amygdala, that's going off. This alarm center suddenly is, can just settle down for a minute.  

Jennifer Boileau    00:52:00    Right. And you're retraining your brain. Like it's okay, I'm safe. We don't need to activate the fight, flight right now. Thank you. And make doula in the brain. We can just take a seat for a minute. Suddenly everything gets regulated again. These invisible accommodations can be a life-changing gift when you are dealing with things like that. And you don't have time to just say, I know we're in the middle of a briefing, but I need to freak out in the hallway. There's no time for that, getting a hold of your breath, right? Maybe even some simple grounding down into the seat you're in pressing your feet into the floor, sensing into the body, noticing that again, that temperature of the air on your skin, these things sound kind of simple, but trust me, you can be like a bad-ass all day, but these little things that might seem too simple are definitely ways to just strengthen your inner self. What I refer to as your inner warrior, and give you that strength in times when you really, really need it.  

Scott DeLuzio    00:53:14    Yeah, for sure. When you were talking about breathing, one of the things that I have noticed, and even the other sensations, like the temperature of the air on your skin and, and other things like that I've done some breathing exercises where it's just focused on feeling the air, filling up your lungs. And like you said before, you don't think about that normally when you're breathing normally, it's just like, okay, I'm just doing it. And  I'm not even thinking that I'm doing it, but there is air going into your lungs. Every time you take a breath that happens. And every time you exhale, it comes out and it happens every single time, but you just don't think about it. It's one of those things that you've probably just become desensitized to because it happens all the time, every second of the day, every single day that you've been alive, that's been happening.  

Scott DeLuzio    00:54:18    And so you just haven't really paid too much attention to it because it's, it's kind of just noise now in your life. But when you take that deep breath and feel the lungs actually filling up, it does something. And  I can't quite even explain it, but it does something and you kind of relax and calm down a little bit more the longer you do it, the longer you practice. I know you said, just do it for a minute,do it for two minutes or whatever. But I felt the longer that you do it and actually pay attention to those little things. It actually has a bigger effect, the longer that you're doing.  I'm not saying go out and do it for six hours or anything like that. That's a long time, but, even if you're able to before you go to sleep, if you're able to just lay there in bed for 10 minutes, you'll probably fall asleep before the 10 minutes are up. But, you'll relax yourself enough that you're able to actually fall asleep. 

Jennifer Boileau     00:55:30    Yeah, absolutely. You might, even when you're going to sleep, find that falling asleep is a difficult thing. You could even move through progressive muscle relaxation where you're taking a breath in and tightening, maybe the fist, as hard as you can and really noticing the tension. And then as you exhale, just slowly unfurling the fingers and noticing the ease there. And then maybe you do it a few times with the hands that you're tensing up. And then maybe after a few more, you tense up through the arms completely like through the biceps and triceps, the forearms you're just tightening everything up, breathing in, noticing the tension and really feeling the tension. So we spend all of our time up in our heads all the time. We're just thinking, we're thinking, thinking, thinking, it's like popcorn going off in your head all the time.  

Jennifer Boileau    00:56:29    And especially when you're trying to go to sleep, all of a sudden the popcorn starts going crazy. When you can shift from thinking into feeling, you can create tremendous change rather quickly, So, you move through the tensing of the arms, you move through the tensing of the toes and the feet, the legs all with using your breath. And then all of a sudden it's like, okay, now maybe you're just noticing the sensation of the breath. Maybe your hands are on your chest. And you feel that rise and fall of that hand on the belly, that rise and fall of the body. Just staying with that. I promise you if you stay with sensation, the thoughts, there's no time for the thoughts.  There's no time for thinking when you're deeply immersed in feeling. And even if at first you have to start out with just doing the hands.  

Jennifer Boileau     00:57:28    If it's going through everything, it's going to be too much. And you're  just doing a little bit in iRest. We always say little and often that is so much more important than going to find a class for an hour. Because I know some of you aren't going to do that. You're going to be like, I'm too busy. I don't have time, blah, blah, blah. But you have a minute. You have a minute when you're sitting at a red light that you can just notice your breath, notice the sensation of your hands wrapped on the steering wheel. You might even rub your hands together just like you were trying to start a fire or something. And then just let your palms be face up for a moment and just notice the sensation across the top of your palms. There's a lot happening right now because of course I just sat here and did it. There's a lot happening across my poems. Let yourself feel those little things that can help you in times when things feel so overwhelming that you can't see straight.  

Scott DeLuzio    00:58:45    Yeah. And, and you're right. We, we do have a minute even if you're sitting in a meeting at work or driving in the car and like you said, a stoplight, you can find a little bit of time, even in that meeting,  just focusing on your breathing while your boss drones on about whatever,  

Jennifer Boileau     00:59:11    It's not like you're listening anyway. You might as well do something for yourself.  

Scott DeLuzio    00:59:21    I mean, it really is.these techniques I think are incredibly beneficial to the people who try them out and use them. But like you said, it's one of those things where it's not a one and done where you just go to an hour session, get the benefits, and then forget about it and be like, okay, I'm cured. And everything's great and dandy. And now I don't have to even think about this anymore because the whole point of it is to continue to think about these practices ongoing. So you may not necessarily  

Scott DeLuzio    00:59:59    Be constantly going to a class or training on this type of thing, but it's important to have, someone to guide you kind of like I was talking about before with  a baseball coach or something like, we'll teach you how to do that, but you don't need to necessarily continue going to back to that coach every single day in order to be able to use what they've taught you. But you may need to, I would imagine at some point go back and fine-tune some of that as well over time. Exactly. I say that to my students all the time. Like, I don't want you to need me. Okay. Like I have three kids, they need me. I don't even want them to need me. I want to be, I want you to glean.  

Jennifer Boileau     01:00:51    What, what skills make the most sense to you? While I'll share iRest practice with you and try to guide you through something that's going to help you specifically, I want you to take the aspects that speak to you the most. And then take them into your life. That's my biggest thing. I tell people all the time, I don't want you to just feel great in class. I want you to feel great in class and take that breath, work into your regular life, because if you're not taking it back into your life and finding ways to just weave it in seamlessly, then I'm just not doing a very good job, because I want you to be able to take this and use it, on your own. And then quite frankly when I think about the suicide rates and the veteran population in law enforcement right now, it, it, it just breaks my heart and above all else.  

Jennifer Boileau    01:01:47    I always say to my students, when, when you're experiencing something that is working for you, I need you to be my new spokesperson, right? Not for me, but for the practice, for the aspects that are speaking to you, because there is someone that you're sitting beside at work, there is someone that you served with or someone in your life who could really benefit from this and who was like, yeah, right. Like you're going to write, you're going to go to meditation class with me really. I mean, like, I'm not kidding. I know the expression that I see on the faces of guys who were dragged into my class and then they leave and they're like, I'm going to tell my friends. I'm like, I know, I know that's what I want you to do. I want you to tell them about how this helped you because it might not be something that you typically hear about, but now I have to tell you, it's the fact that, especially with, with warriors at ease and with iRest,  being at Walter Reed and, and doing so much through the VA, they're really trying to make these strategies not be something so out of the ordinary, right?  

Jennifer Boileau     01:02:56    These practices are not just something froofy,, out there. It's something that has been specifically designed to support you and the kind of experiences you've gone through. So, when you experience something that is working for you, I always say, please share it with the people around you, because you just don't know who you're going to help. I mean, truly you don't know that the person that has the biggest smile on their face next to you might be struggling in a way behind closed doors that we just can't imagine. And that just gives me chills thinking about it, but I truly like to share it with someone  you just don't know the impact if it could have.  

Scott DeLuzio    01:03:44    Yeah. Yeah, absolutely. And, and again, going back to what I was saying earlier in this episode, that's why I like having people like yourself on the show to share these different techniques and, kind of wash away some of that stigma around stuff like this, where, where people might think it's, oh, that's a froufrou thing. And, that's not for me because I'm this bad-ass and I'm not going to go and sit there and meditate or whatever, but it does work. And so if, if you are this bad-ass who has tried everything and nothing else has worked for you, why not give it a try? Like, what do you seriously have to lose? There's no side effects. It's not like you're going to try this. And then you're gonna grow a third arm or something.  

Scott DeLuzio    01:04:40    It's, you're, you're going to, you're going to do it. And worst-case scenario, it doesn't work for you and you try something else. And at least you've given it a try. And, best case scenario is it does work and, and it leads you to a happier, more, relaxed life that maybe you wouldn't have had had you not just given it a tryI think it's definitely worth it for everyone to give it a try for all this stuff. You mentioned Warriors At Ease, was an organization that you work with, but, I know there might be some people who also want to reach out to you directly and find out more about the types of training and things that you do. Where can people go to get in touch with you and find out about all of that stuff?  

Jennifer Boileau   01:05:33    You can connect with me on my website. It's just my name, JenniferBoileau.com, which we already talked about how tricky my last name, but yes, JenniferBoileau.com or if you're on social media, on Instagram and Facebook, Twitter, Jennifer Boileau, or J E N N B O I L E A U is my Instagram handle. And, you can find my email on my website as well. I'm happy to talk with people anytime I do free consultations all the time. And I always try to have at least one donated project or event going on each month. And I also work with people over the phone. I do Zoom, Skype. I've worked with people all over the country. I have some clients around the world as well. And  it's great to be in person for these practices, but I have worked with people all over the country, doing this just over the phone. And, there's an aspect to that. That can be really nice, especially if you've experienced a significant trauma that you are able to be in your own space and you can feel completely comfortable, safe, and your surroundings, and be able to maybe let go a little bit more than if you were in an unfamiliar space. There is something kind of nice about that. So that's something too.  

Scott DeLuzio    01:07:08    Yeah. And for anyone who's looking to get in touch, maybe a book, a session, or, or find some time with Jennifer, I'll have links to all of her websites and the social media links and everything in the show notes. Definitely take a look at that and, and find out where to get in touch with her there. And Jennifer, it's been a pleasure speaking with you today and, and finding out about all the things that you do and how you've been working to, to help out the veterans and first responders, military, to really live better lives, and help them work through the trauma that they've they've experienced. I thank you for the work that you're doing. I really do encourage people to reach out if any of this kind of stuff resonated with them, or even if it didn't resonate with them, but they feel like they've tried everything and they want to, they want to give this a try because maybe they don't know what else to do.  

Scott DeLuzio   01:08:13    I think that's a great place to turn to it. And like you said, it's one of those things where you can do these things without anyone knowing it's kind of an invisible thing that people can do while you're sitting in your car while you're, while you're at work while you're, whatever it is that you find yourself doing, wherever the stressors come into your life, you can, you can jump into this stuff. I think it's a great option for people. And, again, thank you for coming on and sharing it with us today.  

Jennifer Boileau    01:08:51    Yeah, absolutely. Thank you so much for having me thank you to your listeners for listening to a podcast episode about meditation and yoga. I'm sure this might not be the norm, but I appreciate your openness to learning more about it. And I'll say this for people that want to reach out and, and you're thinking, well, I want to ask for something, but I don't even know. You can just say, Hey, I heard them, I heard you talking and I don't know what I need to ask you, but I know, I feel like I need to connect. That's good enough. We can take it from there. So there's no silly questions, absolutely reach out and I'll share as many more of my free meditations as well. I have a SoundCloud account that I'll make sure I connect to, or you already know about. And I'll add to that over time and I do have a progressive muscle relaxation, listed there presently. If that's something that sparked your interest during the podcasts, it's something that they can access immediately.  

Scott DeLuzio    01:09:56    Yeah. And I'll have a link to the SoundCloud account there as well, so that people can listen to that because there's actually one last night, there was a one about asleep and I was listening to that as I was trying to fall asleep. And, it helped me fall asleep. So, , there's, there's one testimonial that says, Hey, what? It's worth a shot if you're having trouble with sleep, there's one. And I'm sure there's plenty of other things on there. I know you have a lot of tracks on there that help with various things. And, if you're having trouble with any of those areas, give it a try. It's worth trying it to see how that works for you. So, thanks again.  

Jennifer Boileau    01:10:42    Yeah. Thank you.  

Scott DeLuzio  01:10:45    Thanks for listening to the Drive On Podcast. If you want to check out more episodes or learn more about the show, you can visit our website driveonpodcast.com. We're also on Instagram, Facebook, Twitter, LinkedIn, and YouTube at driveonpodcast.  

]]> 01:11:09 <![CDATA[The Morning Formation Crossover]]> Thu, 24 Feb 2022 08:00:00 +0000 Scott DeLuzio https://drive-on-podcast.castos.com/podcasts/2296/episodes/the-morning-formation-crossover KP Phillips is an Army veteran and veteran of Operation Iraqi Freedom. He started The Morning Formation podcast out of his passion to help fellow veterans, military spouses, and future military generations with career transition and preparedness.

Links & Resources

Transcript

Scott DeLuzio    00:00:00    Thanks for tuning into the Drive On Podcast where we're focused on giving hope and strength to the entire military community. Whether you're a veteran, active duty, guard, reserve, or family member, this podcast will share inspirational stories and resources that are useful to you. I'm your host, Scott DeLuzio. And now let's get on with the show. Hey everybody. Welcome back to the Drive On Podcast. Today, my guest is KP Phillips from The Morning Formation Podcast. KP is an army veteran and veteran of Operation Iraqi Freedom. He started The Morning Formation Podcast out of his passion to help fellow veterans, military spouses, and future military generations with career transition and preparedness. So, first off, welcome to the show KP. Thanks for joining me,  

KP Phillips   00:00:55    Scott, the honor's all mine. I really appreciate you having me on the show and it was great also doing an interview with you and digging into some of your experiences and what you had to deal with as well, including your time in the military. So thank you for having me.  

Scott DeLuzio    00:01:08    Yeah, absolutely. And for people who are listening and just finding out about The Morning Formation Podcast, right now through this episode, as KP just mentioned, we recorded an episode a few weeks ago, on his podcast. So, definitely go check out that episode and all of the other episodes that have a lot of great guests and great insights on various topics on his podcast. So definitely go check that out, follow that, subscribe to it., leave reviews, do all the things that people usually ask for when you're talking about a podcast. It's a great show, with a lot of great content on there. So, you won't be disappointed.  For anyone, like I was just mentioning for anyone who may not be familiar with you and in your podcast, why don't you give us a little bit of information about yourself, your background, how you got into the army, and all that kind of stuff?  

KP Phillips   00:02:08    Yeah. So that's a really good start, actually. So I'm an army brat. My dad was drafted in 71 and by the time he finished up ranger school and everything, he was not sent to Vietnam. He was sent to Germany instead, he ended up spending 20 years in the military and it wasn't something that he planned to do had he not been drafted. And so I grew up basically living the army life. I was born in Hawaii, which is in the middle of Oahu, which is next to Schofield barracks for anyone that's ever been stationed there with 25th. So my dad was actually out at east range at the pre-ranger course for a number of years, and I got a chance to kind of grow up out there in the forest and the jungles of Hawaii.  

KP Phillips    00:02:55    Well my dad ended up retiring in 91. And soon after that, he moved back to his home state in Ohio and my parents divorced and I ended up going with him, living with him, and it was quite a culture shock going from the...

]]> full 153 false KP Phillips is an Army veteran and veteran of Operation Iraqi Freedom. He started The Morning Formation podcast out of his passion to help fellow veterans, military spouses, and future military generations with career transition and preparedness.

Links & Resources

Transcript

Scott DeLuzio    00:00:00    Thanks for tuning into the Drive On Podcast where we're focused on giving hope and strength to the entire military community. Whether you're a veteran, active duty, guard, reserve, or family member, this podcast will share inspirational stories and resources that are useful to you. I'm your host, Scott DeLuzio. And now let's get on with the show. Hey everybody. Welcome back to the Drive On Podcast. Today, my guest is KP Phillips from The Morning Formation Podcast. KP is an army veteran and veteran of Operation Iraqi Freedom. He started The Morning Formation Podcast out of his passion to help fellow veterans, military spouses, and future military generations with career transition and preparedness. So, first off, welcome to the show KP. Thanks for joining me,  

KP Phillips   00:00:55    Scott, the honor's all mine. I really appreciate you having me on the show and it was great also doing an interview with you and digging into some of your experiences and what you had to deal with as well, including your time in the military. So thank you for having me.  

Scott DeLuzio    00:01:08    Yeah, absolutely. And for people who are listening and just finding out about The Morning Formation Podcast, right now through this episode, as KP just mentioned, we recorded an episode a few weeks ago, on his podcast. So, definitely go check out that episode and all of the other episodes that have a lot of great guests and great insights on various topics on his podcast. So definitely go check that out, follow that, subscribe to it., leave reviews, do all the things that people usually ask for when you're talking about a podcast. It's a great show, with a lot of great content on there. So, you won't be disappointed.  For anyone, like I was just mentioning for anyone who may not be familiar with you and in your podcast, why don't you give us a little bit of information about yourself, your background, how you got into the army, and all that kind of stuff?  

KP Phillips   00:02:08    Yeah. So that's a really good start, actually. So I'm an army brat. My dad was drafted in 71 and by the time he finished up ranger school and everything, he was not sent to Vietnam. He was sent to Germany instead, he ended up spending 20 years in the military and it wasn't something that he planned to do had he not been drafted. And so I grew up basically living the army life. I was born in Hawaii, which is in the middle of Oahu, which is next to Schofield barracks for anyone that's ever been stationed there with 25th. So my dad was actually out at east range at the pre-ranger course for a number of years, and I got a chance to kind of grow up out there in the forest and the jungles of Hawaii.  

KP Phillips    00:02:55    Well my dad ended up retiring in 91. And soon after that, he moved back to his home state in Ohio and my parents divorced and I ended up going with him, living with him, and it was quite a culture shock going from the state of Hawaii and speaking pidgin English, and then moving to Ohio, literally out in the middle of the soybean and cornfields., I gotta say I got a really good opportunity growing up to meet all types of cultures, all types of great people. It was an awesome experience. And then after high school, I was involved in sports all through high school and after high school, my dad just straight up told me, he said, well, you weren't smart enough to get a scholarship.  

KP Phillips   00:03:45    So either you can go to the community college and live here and stay under my rules, or you can go into the military. And I said I'm not staying here. So talk to an army recruiter. And at the very last second, before I signed, I had an old, previous football coach that got with me and said, Hey what have you considered joining the army national guard? And I said I don't even know what that is. So we sat down and talked about it. And at the time with my goals of wanting to go to college, that was the best thing for me to do. And I'm very thankful that he kind of swooped me up at the last minute and had that conversation with me because I ended up signing up with the Army National Guard three days after leaving high school, I go to basic training, finished up my AIT, which back then I took the bonus and I was a 77 Foxtrot, which is a refueler.  

KP Phillips   00:04:33    I didn't know what that was at the time, like any of us, right. We just signed up and we went and did that for four years. I always found myself out on the flight line, refueling Blackhawks, and the Kiowa helicopters. And it was kind of a dirty job, man. Because many times you'd hook up to the bird. And then you turn on the pump, and all of a sudden you get JP aid all over you. And Hey, I had to earn college money in some way. And then my junior year, I decided to take the next step up., I have just done my four years and gotten out and received my degree. But I thought it would be more of an honor to become a commissioned officer, especially since my father was enlisted for 20 years, retired as an EA.  

KP Phillips    00:05:17    That'd be kind of cool to have him, be my first salute and to do something above and beyond what many of my other family members didn't do. I signed up for ROTC, went through the SMP program, the simultaneous membership program. And the day that I got my bachelor's degree was the day that I pinned on my second Lieutenant bar. And I joined the active-duty army. And the advice that my dad gave me back then because I really considered going infantry. He said, oh, you need to get into logistics of some sort because when you get out fortune 500 companies are going to like that. And that was good advice. So I ended up going to the ordinance. I didn't really know what that was either. And came to find out it was maintenance and ammunition.  

KP Phillips    00:06:02    I had an idea, but I didn't really know. They kind of advertise themselves as being ammo, but really there's more maintenance involved. So to be honest with you, my heart wasn't in it. When I went through OBC, I was just like, what am I doing here? I came out of OBC, went to my first duty station, which I happen to get stationed back on the 25th in Hawaii, and am very fortunate because I do have family there. The thing was, as soon as they landed in 2004 in Honolulu, they informed me that in 30 days I'd be going to Iraq in Mosul Iraq. So it was quite a surprise for me. I had been in contact with them, trying to find out like, Hey, is there any possibility of me deploying soon? Or just give me some ideas so I can plan my life a little bit.  

KP Phillips    00:06:48     I get it, I had to go do it, but I just want to kind of know. They kind of kept me in the dark until I got there. And then they said, Hey, 30 days, you're going to go downrange. And so being 24 at the time, probably eight months out of college, it was sort of a shocker to me. Like I knew I was going to deploy at some point. I just didn't know when. And 2004 that was right shortly after Fallujah happened. And I actually have a sort of a distant family member who was involved in the whole Blackwater ambush, his name is Wesley Barcelona and he was one of the Blackwater folks that was ambushed and killed during that attack. He worked with my dad strangely enough. He worked with my dad up at the east range.  

KP Phillips    00:07:35    There were a bunch of Rangers up there running around the jungle acting crazy,, back in the day. So, we did have some ties to him, aside from just being family. So I went to my first duty station and then I ended up in Mosul, Iraq.  I was assigned to a headquarters company and as many of you listening will know that if you're a second Lieutenant assigned to a headquarters company, you don't have any business being there. They don't want you there. They want the higher-ranking folks to be there running the sections and whatnot. So what are they going to do with the second Lieutenant? I was kind of an orphan. They ended up sending me out to a transportation unit that was actually a reserve unit.  

KP Phillips   00:08:20    So I replaced a Lieutenant in the country that had already been there, which was very challenging to do, straight out of OBC. Second Lieutenant, I did have my enlisted time behind me to help me out with my experiences. But when it came down to understanding what my platoon was doing MOS-wise, I had no idea they were truck drivers. It was a transportation unit. So they were convoying. So right there on the ground, I was very fortunate to have NCO CO's that kind of stood next to me and helped train me up to learn how to do what they did because, in reality, leadership is leadership when it comes to managing folks, but then understanding what they do on the technical side of things. You really have to rely heavily on the folks that are the technical masters when it comes to doing that kind of stuff.  

KP Phillips    00:09:10    So it was very fortunate in that aspect, but a big challenge to take over a platoon in Iraq like that, especially a reserved platoon that had already been together, had already had the cohesion. They already have been through training, been through a lot of things together and a new face comes in. So did that for about a year.  Did a lot of convoys outside the wire, was involved in a lot of different things. Go back to Hawaii afterwards, get put back with a new unit again. So I'm a new face and I'm a senior Lieutenant now. Because I'm the senior Lieutenant, I'm the executive officer of this company and no one really knows who I am. So did that. And then,  became a battalion S3 for a bit and decided to resign my commission and get out. I felt like I had done a total of eight years in the military.  

KP Phillips   00:09:56    And I felt like that's what I went out to accomplish. I had my master's degree in hand and decided to get out at that point. So the transition side of everything was kind of difficult when it came to getting out because I thought that being an army captain, having your master's degree, having wartime experience was enough for me to get out here and get a good job.  I was fortunate to find a job, but it wasn't the exact job that I wanted. It was sort of one of those things where when the cards were on the table, it looked like there was a lot there, but when it was all said and done, there was only one card left and I had to take this job or go unemployed. So I like many like 45 to 55% of veterans. I got a job immediately after I got out.  I stayed there for about a year and then I quit. And so then for a while, I bounced around and, I did find some good employment eventually it was a struggle. It was a challenge. And so, yeah, that's pretty much my military experience in my life experience in a nutshell.  

Scott DeLuzio    00:11:01    That's a lot of stuff to unpack there, a lot of stuff going on throughout your military career. I definitely want to dive into some of this stuff, a little bit deeper here.  I found through my own experiences in the military that some of the best officers are the ones who had prior enlisted experience. We were talking a little bit about this before we started recording here. But you sort of mentioned that too, but how do you feel that your time serving as an enlisted, service member, helped you after you became an officer?  

KP Phillips    00:11:42    So being a good officer, as far as having the elicit experience behind you is pretty subjective, but yeah, most of the time you do have experience of being enlisted, it does help you out. I think what helped me out the most when it came to having that enlistment time behind me was understanding what it was like to be a private, to understand what it was like to be a specialist, and to be standing in formation with someone in front of you in charge of you and them saying something. And also leading by example too. We've all had those leaders before who talk, but they never do. And that was one of the things that I absolutely hated when I was just a private or PFC or specialist was when you had a lousy NCO or a lousy platoon leader in front of you.  

KP Phillips   00:12:35    And they would talk a lot, but they would never do anything. They would never bother to go out on the flight line with you and understand what it was like to get smashed with JPA all over your clothes. And they never bought, they never bothered to get out there and the inclement weather and go out there and set up a farm out in the middle of nowhere. And that was the one thing that I didn't want to be as a leader. And it's so funny, because I recently spoke to a previous soldier of mine and, I don't know if they had forgotten or whatever, but I mentioned one night that when we were outside the wire, we were hit with an ID. And I said, yeah, at the time I was driving and they were like, you were driving. Like when I was a Lieutenant, I would drive, I would gun, I would be a combat commander. I did all of it. So that was one of the things that came from my listening experience wanting to do all those different types of things.  

Scott DeLuzio    00:13:26    Yeah. And I noticed that with the other, former enlisted officers who weren't afraid to get their hands dirty, as a matter of fact, they almost seemed like uncomfortable if they weren't getting their hands dirty, to some extent where they wanted to be there with the guys and do some of that type of work. Whereas some other officers would be just as happy, passing off the work and going and sitting in their air-conditioned office or whatever, and not doing the work. So, and that's not to say off just like that. I'm not trying to paint officers in a bad bite or anything like that. But I definitely did notice the difference with the prior-enlisted, type folks. You also mentioned the transition, I guess, from enlisted to officer that you went through.  I guess for the current enlisted people who might be listening to this episode, what were the steps that you took to ultimately become an officer? Obviously, you went to school and everything, but what was that like? What was that program that you went through and how can people find out more about going down that route?  

KP Phillips    00:14:47    Scott, I'm really glad that you asked this question because many times I mentor folks on how to become an officer or how to join the military and all their options. A lot of folks think that there's one road to get there, but there's many roads. So you have your officer candidate school OCS, which is offered through the National Guard Reserves and active duty. It's a much more difficult path to get through because you have to apply for it. And you're already in boots, or you can go through a service academy obviously, but then just about every university out there will offer an Army ROTC program. And so within that Army ROTC program, you will have your cadets that were recruited out of high school, who are on three-year scholarships, but then there's also another program called the simultaneous membership program, which as far as I know is available in every single state out there.  

KP Phillips   00:15:47    And despite the long weird name, simultaneous membership program, it's also called SMP. It's sort of a green to gold program where I was drilling with my National Guard unit. And I was at the same time going full-time to college back then to be eligible for it, which I think it's lower now. I think you have to be a sophomore, but back then you had to be a junior. So you had to have so many credits. I basically walked up to my ROTC department and introduced myself and said who I was and told them that I was interested in becoming an officer and what options are out there. And so what you can do is you can, you can go to college, full-time join the Army ROTC program, which will require you to take the ROTC courses. In addition to your regular courses, you'll have to go to physical fitness training like three days a week.  

KP Phillips    00:16:40    So you can forget about college night and ladies night on Tuesdays and Thursdays there's days of winter, or there things are because there were many times I had to choose between going out with friends or getting up in the morning and doing physical fitness training before all my classes. And at the same time, you are still a full-time student, you're involved in ROTC, but then you also go to your unit and you take away your, take away your rank. And then they give you a little disc. It's like a little silver disc circle. You're a cadet at that point. And I know it's changed. I did this in the state of Ohio back then. It was weird because I literally took off my corporate rank. And then the next day I put on a little disk and I was in this weird gray area of being, one of the dudes in a S in a Sur.  

KP Phillips    00:17:28    So it was really weird, but these were the guys that I used to work with before. So it was, it was strange, but so I did that for about two years. And then the day that I graduated from college, I was discharged from the Army National Guard and honorably discharged from the National Guard. And then I was accepted into the active-duty Army. And I pinned on my second Lieutenant rank. And then from there, because I had some time between my officer basic course. The day that I graduated, I served as a gold bar recruiter for my university where I helped out the recruiting officer bring in quality candidates, which was a good experience too. 

Scott DeLuzio   00:18:10    It's great that there's multiple paths and the people who would think all while I've already enlisted. So I can't be an officer or anything like that. It's not true. There are paths that you can take. And, there are definite avenues that you can explore. And this is just one of those options. And, one of the things that I like to do on this show is give options to people who maybe you're feeling stuck at as an enlisted guy or gal or whatever in your unit. And you feel like you want to advance, but you're not really sure what the process is. Here's one option for you. This could help you get to that point, to become an officer, in your unit or move on to someplace else.  

Scott DeLuzio    00:19:01    If that's not the job that you really want to be doing. It's just like a lot of people just sign up and not really know what you're getting into. You want to move on to something else. I'm glad you're able to share that and share a little bit of how that process worked for you and everything. I was in the National Guard as well, and we had a bunch of cadets in our unit, at one point and you're right. It was kind of a gray area where they were young college kids, and they didn't really have a place. they were almost treated as enlisted, but, but you still get them, give them the same respect as an officer, the CERN man, and all that kind of stuff. Like it's that weird gray area. I don't know. It was just, it was, it was just really, awkward. And, and one of them happened to be, one of my cousins as well. And so, and he was younger than me. And so, that was just an added, weird experience. It was like, oh, I knew you when you were like this tall.,  

KP Phillips    00:20:15    You mentioned before camp Atterbury and we're talking offline. And it is so funny because that was my first weird experience. I was in my unit. It was cool. Like everyone knew me. But when I went to Camp Atterbury I was in front of people that didn't know who I was, and they were looking at this. This was back in early two thousands. So it wasn't that common as it is now, from what I understand, well, that's camp Atterbury, you have all these different units there. And that was the first time I ever had somebody lock their heels and like, call me, sir. And I was like, I was looking, I looked behind me, he was talking to me like, thank you. I don't know what to say. It was just really awkward.  

KP Phillips    00:20:55    That was my experience early on, I guess, with that. So when you mentioned Camp Atterbury I kind of, that brought me back to that time where I thought the E4 mafia was with me and I wasn't before, like before. And so they're like, they were laughing about the whole situation. There are many, many paths to get to where you want to go. And, it's definitely a great opportunity despite all the stereotypes and whatnot of going to the dark side and becoming an officer. I really think that it's a great opportunity for you to take a step up and challenge yourself if you're interested in going down that path or climbing the ranks of NCO. Do you just like my dad did at the end of the day, progress is progress.  

Scott DeLuzio   00:21:39    Exactly. And The army needs good NCOs is just like, they need good officers. And so whichever route you take, it's not a bad thing. It's just a different option for different people who want different things out of their careers. And so again, I like having these options available to people so that they know that these are possibilities for them so that they don't say, oh, well, my career is not going anywhere. I'm just going to get out and figure it out on the outside or whatever if they want it to advance and become an officer or whatever.  I want to go back to your time in Iraq, before we started recording here, you had briefly mentioned a story about some leadership issues that you had over there.  I'd like to kind of go down that path if you want. Talking about that time over there, what your job was like over there. What you guys were up to and, and what ultimately led to some of these, these leadership changes that took place.  

KP Phillips    00:22:39    He did a lot of great things in Iraq, and I'll just say this right upfront. I worked with a lot of really good NCOs, a lot of really good enlisted folks out there that really helped me out. And I felt like there were a lot of folks out there that had my back and then there were people out there that probably didn't have my best interests in mind. But as I mentioned earlier, I replaced a Lieutenant. I replaced a platoon leader in Iraq. So a lot of folks in their experiences get an opportunity to join their unit and Garrison get that time and training together gel, you get to know all the soldiers and then you deploy that. Wasn't my track at all. Mine was, I really was sort of like an orphan the entire time. I went for, I first went to, when I went to Hawaii to Schofield barracks, I was sort of just tossed around.  

KP Phillips    00:23:31    And for some reason put me into this headquarters company that really didn't want me. So, and then I go up and I go to Iraq in a replacement unit with six other soldiers. So we're just kind of on our own making our way to combat. And my first platoon. It was quite difficult because in everything that you've been taught, everything that you're taught to listen to your platoon Sergeant, listen to your platoon Sergeant, and trust people. And that was the one thing that I probably couldn't have done with this first unit was to trust the leadership and long story short. Just the gist of everything. I ended up after about nine months of dealing with my platoon Sergeant, I ended up having to do the very, very difficult, hard left and firing him and replacing it with someone else, which is unheard of for a Lieutenant to do.  

KP Phillips    00:24:29    And a lot of it had to do with the general one alpha stuff where, no alcohol, no drugs, no pornography, and had to do with alcohol. And a lot of, from what I understand now, what I didn't know back then was that this was stemming from the initial,  cohesive stage when this unit came together. So there was leadership that was basically involved with drinking with the soldiers. And it was something that I was not aware of until I actually got there. And then I tried to deal with it. I feel like I was placed there by design to fix the problem because there were too many other pieces that were involved, who were in leadership positions, where if they had dealt with this big problem that was going on, that, they would have also been blackmailed and poured into it as well.  

KP Phillips    00:25:33    And it's really interesting because I just reconnected with an E4 that worked for me back then. I think she ended up doing a total of eight years and becoming a staff Sergeant or Sergeant first class, I'm not sure, but I reconnected with her and I got kind of her perspective on things because it was a very dangerous time in 2004 in Mosul, Iraq. And we were going outside the wire, we've been hit with IEDs. We were small arms fire. And it was, so it was so contentious at that time because you go outside the wire and you deal with the insurgency, and then you come back inside the wire and you deal with this toxic environment where you've got a Platoon Sergeant. You've got, company command all involved with this alcohol scheme of going outside the wire and bringing stuff in.  

KP Phillips  00:26:21    And yet you're just a lowly Lieutenant trying to figure out how to fix this problem? And at that point, I had two options. I could either just go straight to the behind command and say, look, this is what's going on, right. Everybody up or fix it. And that's kind of what I chose to do. And I guess my, my number one learning point from all that is, do what's right to the best of your ability because there were too many times where I was stuck in this mindset of listen to your leadership, listen to your platoon Sergeant. And I was stuck between that and this isn't right. So for those eight to nine months or so before I actually had to fire him, I would say it was less than that actually.  I was getting all kinds of crap because I wanted to replace him.  

KP Phillips    00:27:11    He was a very There was a very tactically sound NCO, very good, like when it came to thinking on his feet, but when it came to making decisions, he was just everyone's buddy, basically. And so sometimes you gotta do the right thing. And that whole incident that I'm talking about right now, it kind of haunted me for a while because, at the very end of the deployment,  it became known that this was going on and there were people that were given article fifteen written up,  about this whole alcohol incident thing. And, it haunted me because I kind of felt like a failure for a long time. But in reality, when I look at the totality of what was going on, it was such a difficult situation to have dealt with. I don't think many people would have come out unscathed by it.  

KP Phillips   00:28:00    Like I said, most of my buddies who took over their first platoon, they had an opportunity to gel their unit train with them and Garrison went downrange. There was a respect level between the NCO and the platoon leader that was nowhere to be found.  It was just one of those situations where, like I said, I had to fire someone that I didn't really want to fire and I wanted to trust. And, sometimes when you're taking over a leadership opportunity, it's not going to be a textbook. It's not going to be as pretty as, like all the classes I took being an officer, as they painted it out to be. They said, oh, when you get to your first unit, just listen to your platoon. Sergeant Lee that's not always going to be the case.  

KP Phillips    00:28:43    Your platoon Sergeant might be a dirtbag and you might have to do the right thing based on your own experience. And so going back, looking at that whole thing, man,  it wasn't a failure for me. To be honest,  I looked at it and I tried to think of like, what could I have done differently? And there's really nothing I could have done differently because the whole situation itself went outside the wire, coming back inside the wire, dealing with a very toxic environment. Man. We're lucky that we made it out alive and we had some close calls, but that was a very stressful year of my life for sure.  

Scott DeLuzio   00:29:17    Yeah, definitely. And when you're faced with a situation where there's that choice between following a long status quo or just kind of letting things happen or doing the right thing, which happens to be the difficult thing. Firing a platoon Sergeant, like you said that's not something that usually happens. Usually, if you're going to get up to the point where you are a platoon Sergeant, you've pretty much squared away, in a lot of cases. You're not getting busted back down to the private or like that. You've worked hard to get, get up to that position, and you tend to take it seriously. But in some cases, there are those people who slipped through the cracks and you will end up having a situation where you do need to stand up and do the right thing.  

Scott DeLuzio    00:30:21   I'm sure you're not the only one who noticed that this was becoming a problem. I'm sure some of the enlisted guys were probably thinking to themselves, like, this is a problem, but what do I do? I'm just a three, four, or whatever, and what do I do with it? So how, how am I going to tell my Platoon Sergeant, to stop drinking or whatever.

KP Phillips   00:30:52    Well, it was actually very divided. There was like half the platoon that hated me and half the platoon that respected me. And it was sort of one of those deals where they were involved too. And then come to find out when I came back from a deployment that the company command was potentially involved in this whole thing too. And that's why they wanted me to fix it. And over there, they always wanted you to be ready because you never knew when you had to do a QRF and go outside the wire to do something. So I understand completely a hundred percent why it was important to always stay clean and always be ready. But the challenge was for one being a new person, being a new face, getting them to understand that we can't do this anymore.  

KP Phillips    00:31:40    Not understanding this has been a practice since you guys started training together. And so I looked like the bad guy to some folks. I think that was kind of the challenge itself.  When I talked to the soldier that worked for me, they had told me that they had a hard time as well with being harassed, and doing this and doing that. And I thought, yeah, well, I was too,, just because I was a Lieutenant didn't mean that I had it easy.  I had a lot of people that looked at me like, what are you doing here? So I'm just thankful that we made it through that entire year without having any casualties. We're very fortunate because the previous unit that we replaced had had, at least I think, three casualties in just one of their platoons. So very, very fortunate for that.  

Scott DeLuzio   00:32:35     And, when you think about the people who had a problem with you and the situation that was unfolding, I think how much bigger of a problem they would have had if someone did get seriously injured or killed because of what was going on and maybe not doing anything about it. I think they're probably better able to sleep at night knowing that some Lieutenant back in Iraq decided to bust up the platoon Sergeant and make some changes to ultimately make things better and safer for the unit versus how they'd be able to sleep at night, had something gone wrong and had one of their friends get killed because bad leadership decisions. Maybe the Platoon Sergeant may have made it if he was drunk out on a patrol or something like that.  

Scott DeLuzio    00:33:38    So ultimately you made the right decision. I think in my book, I think that's definitely the right move. I know other countries, the soldiers are afforded the opportunity to drink while they're deployed. We don't, and that's just something that we have to respect. And   I think because of maybe the culture or whatever, maybe we don't handle it as well as maybe some other people or whatever. I don't know what the exact reasons are, but I think ultimately you made the right decision.  

KP Phillips   00:34:15    Yeah. And I'll say this, like, would that be my first experience having an NCO after that? Getting a good NCO was refreshing. When I came back to my unit and Hawaii, and I was very fortunate to have several other platoon sergeants, I mean, I was so thankful to have a strong NCO that understood and knew what they were doing and understood the line between leadership and being buddies and being friends.  

Scott DeLuzio  00:34:43    Right. Yeah. You also talked a little bit about your transition out of the military, and there are a lot of service members that transition from military to civilian life is difficult. So, what was your transition out of the military? What were some of the challenges that you faced?  

KP Phillips   00:35:04    I would say the biggest challenge that I faced was being my own worst enemy when it came to seeking help. And I know that it's changed quite a bit since 2007 when I resigned my commission. Back then, there really wasn't a whole lot of help available for you. It was either use whatever they had there on base or if you were lucky enough, you could get online and maybe connect with a website and find one of those jobs. Jump headhunters to help you connect and sit across from recruiters and get hired. And so today you have LinkedIn, you have all these social media platforms. You have the pendulum has kind of swung in the opposite direction to how this space has so many people out there trying to help veterans out. And I don't know what it's like to be a service member right now and having to hear all this noise, because when I was getting out, there was no noise.  

KP Phillips  00:35:58    It was just, Hey, you're getting out, and good luck. And so one of the biggest things that I wish I had done better was I wish I had not been my worst enemy in a sense of accepting help from people. And I'll give you an example of that. I had a soldier that brought me their resume, and I looked at it and I thought, this is trash. This is complete trash, Who did this? And it was the OnBase, a transition career center. Apparently, there was someone there that had helped this soldier write this resume out. And in my opinion, it was just complete garbage. It did not look good at all. And I helped them with what I thought. It's very subjective when you're writing a resume, but I helped them get some better ideas on how they should change some things up.  

KP Phillips  00:36:44    So I thought to myself, I'm not even going to go there.  The day that I out process, I'm just going to go in, have them sign my paperwork because I'm an officer. I can just go around and check me off here, check me off there. And so that's pretty much what I did. I didn't go to them. I think it was required that you're supposed to see them for like a month out or something to get counseling. And I didn't do that. I was like, I'm not doing that. So I should have, because who knows, maybe the person that helped that soldier write that resume was just having a bad day, or maybe it was just one person out of like 12. That was just terrible., I don't know, but I should have, I should have picked up the help.  

KP Phillips    00:37:17    I should've taken help whenever, whenever it was available. And whenever it was there, I didn't do that. And I thought that when I marched out of the army with my captain rank and my time in combat and my master's degree I worked really hard when I came back from Iraq, I literally hit the ground running and I went to the education center and started knocking out my master's degree because I didn't want to have to struggle. And I thought that would be enough. And, it wasn't, there're so many aspects of transitioning that you don't understand. You can't just show up with your degree and think here I am, and here's my service. And here's my combat time. And throw rose petals at my feet and hire me. That's not going to happen. There's networking involved.  

KP Phillips   00:38:04    There's actually relating to the recruiters, understanding the culture of the company that you're going into. There's a lot of things that you have to do aside from just showing up with the hardware. And that was the one thing that I didn't do. And I wish I had done better. And over the years, since I got out, before I started podcasting and whatnot, I did my best within my capacity to still try to effectively help people manage and find careers after the military or just family members who are interested in getting any type of interview, help, resume, help. I've always spent extra time doing that kind of stuff. So that was probably my, my biggest thing was, and like, like I said earlier, like out of, I was probably part of 55 per I think it's like 55% of military veterans that get out and get that first job end up quitting within the first 12 to 24 months. And so I'm part of that. I'm part of that stat and I wish I had understood the other aspects, of understanding culture and understanding like the actual company that you're going to go into and understanding how to network better. 

Scott DeLuzio   00:39:24    Yeah,  you're absolutely right. There are a tremendous amount of resources available these days for people transitioning for different services that people might require after getting out of the military. There's a lot of people who will help with things like what you were talking about, writing a resume, or learning how to go on in an interview, a job interview. A lot of people, they joined the military right out of high school. They've never been to a real professional job interview or anything like that. They never had to be at fault of their own. They never had to because they joined the military at 18 years old, or, and then they stay in for 20, some odd years and now they're pushing 40 and, and they've never been on an interview and they don't know really what to expect.  

Scott DeLuzio   00:40:15    And so there's organizations out there that do that type of stuff where they'll do mock interviews with you and go over your resume and make sure that you have a suit to wear to an interview and all that kind of stuff.. Because you don't necessarily think about those things when you're in the military. And from week to week, your job is relatively stable and you don't need to worry about finding a new job and all that kind of stuff until you do. And then, then you start thinking about it and it's like, oh crap, what do I have to even do with all this? And soon it's definitely great that the tide has turned and, and bet more resources are available for, for these people who are getting out and, and need that type of support.  

Scott DeLuzio   00:41:09    It's really, really good.  It could be at times feeling like you're drinking from a fire hose, with so many resources out there. It's definitely good. I think that there is stuff out,  things out there that people can use. Let's talk about The Morning Formation Podcast. I want to give you a chance to talk about that.  Tell us what it's all about. What was the spark that led you to creating that, you were saying before you started it you were still wanting to help people was that something that kind of came up through helping some of these people, or was this something else that kind of sparked it?  

KP Phillips    00:41:50    So that's a really good question. Scott, I had for many years, the one aspect that I really missed about being a soldier and being in the military and specifically being an officer was the opportunity to stand in front of a formation and affect change in people, positive change in people. So when I came back from Hawaii like I said when I came back from Iraq, went to Hawaii back at Schofield Barracks, that was the one thing that I used to try to talk to soldiers about quite a bit was, Hey, what are you doing Friday night? What are you doing Saturday night? Like, get your butt to the education center, look at what they have for you. When you're in Garrison, now's the time for you to start investing in yourself. And so you talk the talk, you walk the walk at the time I was getting my master's degree at the same time.  

KP Phillips    00:42:42    I also got a couple of other lieutenants to do the same thing to consider getting their master's degrees. Because nothing is worse than spending three or four years in the military. And then walking out with just your military experience, while you're there, you have these resources there. So utilize them. And I was fortunate, they always say that if you're talking to a room of like 40 or 50 if you get through to like two or three people. That's called success. And I did have a few soldiers that did listen to what I was saying, and they went ahead and, there are a few success stories out there of folks that had worked for me. And I'm very proud of that because I can't say that I am the number one contributor to them going out and investing themselves.  

KP Phillips    00:43:29    But it's nice to know that I had a little part in that journey for that person. And, I think that's invaluable to actually go out there and positively affect someone else's life and change their life in a sense of getting them to have a better career when they transition out. That was one of the biggest things that I focused on. And so The Morning Formation came along because I always wanted to do something like this. And it was one of those things where I kind of had a little incident happen. It was a stalking incident that happened when I was in the national guard. And it was, it's a really strange, long story that I, I do plan on going into at some point, but it was one of those things that caused me to kind of erase myself from being online and not, not being found.  

KP Phillips    00:44:25    And it was scary to a point of, I found out later that I was being, I was being watched,  when I didn't know I was being watched. It was another soldier in the National Guard that had some mental issues. Long story short. It was a soldier that had some mental issues. And for some reason over the time of being in that unit had developed a sort of a cable guy mentality. If anyone's seen that movie before, and he got that video, I'm being serious. Like it got to a point where like, it was like these weird phone calls, letters, emails, not just to me, but to several other soldiers where it was like, Hey friend. And at first, you're just like, okay, cool, cool, cool, whatever. And then, then it turned into this obsession-type thing where all of a sudden, like this small group of guys in the unit, were like his best buddies in the whole world.  

KP Phillips    00:45:21    And he was going to work, which we didn't know anyone who worked with him. He was going to work talking about us and stuff. And anyways there was some property damage done and the FBI got it. It was really, really crazy, but so there's that, that kind of traumatized me from wanting to be out there. I still think about it today, because I decided to not let that situation control my life. That's something I can get into another time, Scott. I know we got it. We don't have so much time, but a combination of that kinda kept me from doing it. , and then also too, but what kept me from wanting to do it was like I said, I missed that whole thing, that whole aspect of being in front of formation and just being able to effect positive change in people. So it's kind of a combination of both, why I started The Morning Formation.  

Scott DeLuzio  00:46:12    Yeah. And You mentioned that soldier who you were able to affect a little bit of change in, and ultimately that, that individual had to make the decision to go to school on their own. They can't lead the horse to water. You can't make them drink that kind of thing. You can, you can show them the path to get to school. You can't sit in the classroom for them and do the work and everything like that. They have to do that kind of work. But you can give them a kick in the pants to get started, right. To make them realize that they're, they're just wasting their time. If they're going out drinking with their buddies, instead of trying to better themselves. Not to say that you can't go out and have a good time every once in a while, but, but if that, that becomes your life and that's all you're doing with your time, then you're kind of throwing a lot of valuable time away where you could be taking some of that time and, and applying it towards bettering yourself, getting an education and all that kind of stuff.  

Scott DeLuzio    00:47:21    So, you definitely need to have those types of people in your life, and it's great that you were able to be that, that type of person for some of your soldiers and even, The Morning Formation Podcast where you're helping share these stories and that people in the right direction. I think that's a great thing that you're doing. I think the podcast is wonderful. It's really a great show, a lot of great information, great guests that you have on. So we met,  another podcast or, from Vet with Mike, podcast, we were just talking about him a little bit earlier. We had both done some kind of crossover episodes with him as well.  

Scott DeLuzio    00:48:13    And, so, this community that we've kind of discovered,  I feel like I stumbled into it. I wasn't actively seeking this community, but here it is of all these fellow podcasters and other people who are out there trying to help out veterans and get resources and, and help in training and all this other stuff out there I feel like I kind of stumbled across it, but it's really a blessing to be a part of this community to help out other people and help spread messages of different advice and inspirational stories and all that kind of stuff too. So I think it's great what you're doing with your podcast and a lot of the other podcasters are doing, I think it really is great.  

KP Phillips    00:49:02    Yeah, you mentioned Ryan with Vet with a mic. He's a really good dude, man. I mean, I really resonated with him and what's really interesting about a lot of podcasters is we all have our own sense of style and we all have our own sense of how we run things. And the thing about Ryan is he's just very, because of his background too, because he's studied mental health. He's very smooth when it comes to talking and digging into things. So yeah, definitely worth the listen for anyone listening out there as a check-out Vet with a Mike. He's certainly own style and I love it, man. I definitely resonate with that guy.  

Scott DeLuzio    00:49:41    Yeah, for sure.  I recorded with him a couple weeks ago and we really just hit it off right off the bat and it was really a cool thought cool episode and everything. So, go check that podcast out as well. Like I said earlier about The Morning Formation Podcast, go check out Vet with a Mike, subscribe to that and everything. We leave the reviews and comments and all that kind of stuff with that. But, with your podcast, where can people go to find out more about your podcast and subscribe to it and listen to it?  

KP Phillips    00:50:17    I think the easiest place to go is to my website, which is www.themorningformation.com. And, just really quickly I called it The Morning Formation because, the part of that I missed being a Lieutenant was actually standing in front of formation and being able to speak to folks, but I always felt like that was kind of the best time for us to get together was the first thing on Monday mornings to talk about the weekend. I'm not a morning person. I hate morning formation. It was stressful to get there on time and everything, but at the end of the day, you can also attest to this too Scott. A lot of the crappy things that we did in the military were probably the best things that brought us together. And for sure that was the meaning behind The Morning Formation and the best place to go simply would be the website,  www.themorningformation.com. And I'm also on Instagram, under the same name, everything.  

Scott DeLuzio    00:51:16     And I'll have links to all of this in the show notes for anyone who's interested in checking it out, but, but you're absolutely right about some of the crap things that you had to do.  Definitely brought us together a lot more, a lot tighter. I know before we went to Afghanistan we went out driving. We were at Fort Polk in Louisiana and we were out driving the Humvees. off-road in, in this kind of marshy muddy area. It had been raining all week. And so the ground was just soaked, and big puddles of water everywhere. You, you, I mean, you shouldn't be driving through big puddles of water. But for some reason, whoever was in the lead truck was like, no, we can make it. We can make it a long story short, we couldn't make it.  

Scott DeLuzio    00:52:06    We ended up getting the truck stuck. We went out around like dinnertime, like 1800, 1900 somewhere around then, at, in the evening. And we're only supposed to be out for an hour, maybe two, depending on how slow it took us to get around this trail that we're going on. We ended up being there until the next morning, just digging the trucks out. We were, luckily we had axes in the back of our trucks. And so we chopped down trees to use, to put underneath the tires and all that kind of stuff. There was a footprint, I think at one point we may not have actually been on Fort Polk anymore. We might've been on private land. At one point we all turned around and everything, it was awful, but there was a footbridge and it, you definitely could tell someone took some time.  

Scott DeLuzio    00:52:54    It was like dug into the ground and everything. It was this wooden bridge and we just tore that thing apart to use the wood, to put onto the tires of the Humvees and everything, because we were like we're stuck. And we even called for the records to come out and try to tow us out of there. And they got stuck. It was that bad. It was awful. I wouldn't trade that experience as crazy as it was. I wouldn't trade that experience for anything because it brought our whole platoon together. It's so much closer in that shared suffering, that shared bonding experience. Whenever someone talks about, that crappy experience brings people together, the story that always comes to my mind is how we all came together because our entire platoon was on this.  

Scott DeLuzio    00:53:51    and a lot of us, we're just kind of like, okay, cool. We'll just hang out in the back of the Humvees and let the drivers figure it out. And, and we're not really here for much else than moral support.  Because that's all it was supposed to be. It was just driving around and, then we ended up having to really roll up our sleeves and get dirty. And, it was probably one of the best nights as crappy as it was, it was probably one of the best nights for our platoon to bond together. So, it was like sharing that story. It was kind of crazy. 

KP Phillips  00:54:25   That's hilarious.  

Scott DeLuzio    00:54:28    But anyways, it's been a pleasure to speak with you today to anyone who wants to check out the Morning Formation Podcast, check out the show notes or go to morning formation.com and check it out there. Be sure to subscribe to it and follow it in everything. It's really got a lot of great content and, looking forward again, KP to, chatting with you in the future, about other things, maybe have you back on the podcast and we can, we can go into some of those other stories that maybe we didn't have enough time for today. Yeah.  

KP Phillips    00:54:57    Yeah. I'd love to be a man. I'd love to unpack. There's a lot. There's a lot that's going on, anyone out there listening, listening to for career transition. I'm your guy, hit me up and my DMS, whatever you, whatever you want, just get ahold of me somehow, but thank you, Scott, for having me today. I really appreciate what you are doing.  

Scott DeLuzio   00:55:15    Yeah, absolutely. Thank you. Thanks for this  

Scott DeLuzio    00:55:19    To the Drive On Podcast. If you want to check out more episodes or learn more about the show, you can visit our website driveonpodcast.com. We're also on Instagram, Facebook, Twitter, LinkedIn, and YouTube at Drive On Podcasts. 

]]> 00:55:42 <![CDATA[Advice for Grieving Military Losses]]> Tue, 22 Feb 2022 08:00:00 +0000 Scott DeLuzio https://drive-on-podcast.castos.com/podcasts/2296/episodes/advice-for-grieving-military-losses Dr. Jan Canty is a psychologist of about 40 years. In 1985, her spouse was murdered and she has since made it her life's mission to help other homicide survivors. In this episode, we discuss combat deaths and some of the things to do and not to do when facing those situations.

Links & Resources

Transcript

Scott DeLuzio    00:00:00    Thanks for tuning into the Drive On Podcast where we're focused on giving hope and strength to the entire military community, whether you're a veteran, active duty, guard, reserve, or family member, this podcast we'll share inspirational stories and resources that are useful to you. I'm your host, Scott DeLuzio. And now let's get on with the show. Hey everybody. Welcome back to the Drive On Podcast. Today, my guest is Dr. Jan Canty. Dr. Canty is a psychologist of about 40 years, and in 1985, her spouse was murdered and she has since made it her life mission to help other homicide survivors and having her on the podcast today. Not necessarily to talk directly about homicide, but we deal with all sorts of different kinds of deaths, combat death, and training accidents in the military community. I'm having her come on to talk about some of the unique aspects of those types of death, and really help us try to process those things in our own lives, with the people that we know. So welcome to the show.  

Dr. Jan Canty    00:01:13    Well thank you for having me

Scott DeLuzio     00:01:14. I'm glad you're here. So why don't you tell us a little bit about yourself and your background?  

Dr. Jan Canty   00:01:21    Well, I was born, raised, educated, and widowed in Detroit. I was married to a man 11 years ago. I was in training to be a psychologist. He was a psychologist when he failed to come home one night from work and long story short within 10 days, they'd found his body. He had been kidnapped, I mean, not kidnapped. He had been cornered and beaten to death with a baseball bat and killed. And then they, the man who killed him, John Fry, dismembered him and took him up to Northern Michigan and buried him in a shallow grave. I think that what brought it all to light was who helped with the barrel. He did not participate in the killing, but he held the cover-up. Had he not come forward. I don't know that they would've ever figured it out, but he did. And they got caught and they both got sentenced.  

Dr. Jan Canty    00:02:16    There were two people involved and I had no knowledge of what had happened. So I sat across from inspector Gil Hill, who, by the way, incidentally was just coming off the set of Eddie Murphy's Beverly Hills cop one. He was Inspector Todd. And he's just like that guy in real life. Let me tell you a very man of very few words, kind of intense. And he basically said,  your husband's dead and we need you to go to the Morgue, identify his identifiable body parts. And I had a remarkable detective go with me, who prepped me on the way as best she could. And literally stood by my side, through the identification process. She did not have to do that. That was not part of her duties, but she did it. And she was there at the prelim exam. I did not go to the trial.  

]]> full 152 false Dr. Jan Canty is a psychologist of about 40 years. In 1985, her spouse was murdered and she has since made it her life's mission to help other homicide survivors. In this episode, we discuss combat deaths and some of the things to do and not to do when facing those situations.

Links & Resources

Transcript

Scott DeLuzio    00:00:00    Thanks for tuning into the Drive On Podcast where we're focused on giving hope and strength to the entire military community, whether you're a veteran, active duty, guard, reserve, or family member, this podcast we'll share inspirational stories and resources that are useful to you. I'm your host, Scott DeLuzio. And now let's get on with the show. Hey everybody. Welcome back to the Drive On Podcast. Today, my guest is Dr. Jan Canty. Dr. Canty is a psychologist of about 40 years, and in 1985, her spouse was murdered and she has since made it her life mission to help other homicide survivors and having her on the podcast today. Not necessarily to talk directly about homicide, but we deal with all sorts of different kinds of deaths, combat death, and training accidents in the military community. I'm having her come on to talk about some of the unique aspects of those types of death, and really help us try to process those things in our own lives, with the people that we know. So welcome to the show.  

Dr. Jan Canty    00:01:13    Well thank you for having me

Scott DeLuzio     00:01:14. I'm glad you're here. So why don't you tell us a little bit about yourself and your background?  

Dr. Jan Canty   00:01:21    Well, I was born, raised, educated, and widowed in Detroit. I was married to a man 11 years ago. I was in training to be a psychologist. He was a psychologist when he failed to come home one night from work and long story short within 10 days, they'd found his body. He had been kidnapped, I mean, not kidnapped. He had been cornered and beaten to death with a baseball bat and killed. And then they, the man who killed him, John Fry, dismembered him and took him up to Northern Michigan and buried him in a shallow grave. I think that what brought it all to light was who helped with the barrel. He did not participate in the killing, but he held the cover-up. Had he not come forward. I don't know that they would've ever figured it out, but he did. And they got caught and they both got sentenced.  

Dr. Jan Canty    00:02:16    There were two people involved and I had no knowledge of what had happened. So I sat across from inspector Gil Hill, who, by the way, incidentally was just coming off the set of Eddie Murphy's Beverly Hills cop one. He was Inspector Todd. And he's just like that guy in real life. Let me tell you a very man of very few words, kind of intense. And he basically said,  your husband's dead and we need you to go to the Morgue, identify his identifiable body parts. And I had a remarkable detective go with me, who prepped me on the way as best she could. And literally stood by my side, through the identification process. She did not have to do that. That was not part of her duties, but she did it. And she was there at the prelim exam. I did not go to the trial.  

Dr. Jan Canty     00:03:07    I elected not to because nothing in that trial would change my life. I'd still be a widow. I would still have a house to sell. I'd still have the media haunting me and I just wanted nothing to do with it. So ultimately after two years of being really bothered by the press,  I did not know then why, but later I realized one of the reporters was writing a book and that's why he wouldn't let it go. But ultimately I left Michigan altogether, which I did not want to do. It was my home. I changed my name. And I started teaching rather than doing clinical work. I taught grad school for a number of years. And it helped me to get away to get some perspective. I ended up now, this is back in 1985, as you said, this was before the internet.  

Dr. Jan Canty    00:03:54    This was before grief counseling. This was before medication. This was before anything. I did not know a soul that had been through what I'd been through. I had no one to talk to. I did not know where to turn. So I thought,  it's up to me to fix me. There's nobody. My family wasn't there. They didn't even live in the same state. It is part of my training. We never had one single class session, on a violent death and how to help somebody with that. So I had to improvise. So what I ended up doing is I fell back on this old model, which I still believe today is very beneficial. It's called the biocycle social model and what it basically says, if you want to change your behavior, if you want to change your outlook, you have to look at all three domains, the biological, the psychological, and the sociological.  

Dr. Jan Canty   00:04:44    And if you can do all three, you're going to be making some headway. So biologically, I got myself in shape. I started doing triathlons. I went to the gym religiously every morning at 6:30, with a group of other women who ended up doing the triathlons with me. We ended up doing five together. I didn't break any records. I don't want to give you that impression. My goal was to simply survive.  I wanted to not be the person who had a heart attack. The minute they jumped in the water and the person who crossed the finish line somewhere in between there, I would've been fine. And I was.  I did five one year and a couple the next. So, physically I wanted to get in shape and that was a priority to me. I also psychologically decided I needed to look at this differently.  

Dr. Jan Canty     00:05:30    I needed to look at what was not changed in my life as a result of the PTSD. Number one. Number two, what could I use from having those symptoms to benefit me? And I thought I can become a better psychologist because I've been on both sides of it. This is not coming out of a textbook. I know what it's like to awake in a cold sweat, but with nightmares, I know what it's like to have flashbacks. I know what it's like to be jumpy around people and extremely defensive and angry. And I'm not normally an angry person, but I go into the grocery store and I would be upset that loaves of bread did not come for one person. I mean, that's irrational, but I'm like, what's wrong with people that can't have a loaf of bread for one person?  

Dr. Jan Canty    00:06:14    Why is it, implying that you're part of a family or a couple, or I'd go to the Hallmark section. And there would not be one sympathy card that was suitable for homicide. And that upset me. It was like we were invisible. And then to make matters worse, you turn on the news or the better yet Hollywood stuff, and how it's depicted there as entertainment was just infuriating to me. And I thought I've got to stop looking for reasons to be angry and start appreciating what hasn't changed in my life, which spilled over into the third section, which is the sociological part of healing. And I just thought I've got to see things differently. So in one of my grad classes, I was teaching cross-cultural psychotherapy, which I totally enjoyed. Nobody else wanted to touch it with a 10-foot pole, but I really wanted the class.  

Dr. Jan Canty    00:06:59    So they're like, yay, go take it. So I did. And I thought, if I'm going to teach about other cultures, then I had better go experience other cultures. So I traveled the world and I went to very, very remote places. In various ways, sometimes I went as a volunteer. Sometimes I went as a photographer because I was into photography. I'd go as a photography group, but I always tried to stay off the beaten path. And by the way, I was teaching in graduate school at Fort Lewis, which is a military post it's now called, it's the joint base McChord Fort Lewis, but then it was just Fort Lewis.  I really got a perspective on what tragedy can be like. I mean, I had clean water. I had a roof over my head. I had rights as a woman.  

Dr. Jan Canty     00:07:47    I had the legal system behind me. I had my health, I had my education and that really put things in perspective that I would not have otherwise appreciated. Had I not traveled extensively, And it isn't, it entered up. I went to five different continents. The only thing that erupted in me was cancer. And COVID the two of them were kind of a whammy. So the double whammy, but eventually I want to make all seven of them. And, that was a big, big event in my life too. So it really puts me off, it isn't so bad.  It could be much worse than it was. It could have been much worse. And so between the three of them and not those three parts, the bio-psycho-social as well as not talking about it for 30 years, I came out of it with a different view of me, of the world, because I realized it wasn't my anger.  

Dr. Jan Canty    00:08:37    And it wasn't that the world had changed. I had changed and it wasn't really any different than it had ever been. Another thing I did, which happened when hurricane Katrina hit, is I volunteered with the red cross and I went down to Shreveport, Louisiana. I was stationed there. And it's the only time I can tell you that I have even a glimmer of an idea of what it's like to be in the military. Because I've never personally been in the military, but I know I was there during the hurricane and you don't sleep. You're there. And when they say to be there and where to go and you don't ask questions, you show up, you do what you can, you hope you're making a difference and you don't ask questions. You're just there to save lives in that situation. And you're eating it, breathing it, thinking about it.  

Dr. Jan Canty     00:09:27    Non-stop there's you lose your sense of dates and times because you're not waking and sleeping at normal hours and you don't have any contact with the outside world. It wasn't like I had any clue what was going on in Texas or anything. It was like everything about it was the hurricane, the hurricane, a hurricane. And after my time there was up, I was sent home. I remember going to the airport and I felt like a fish out of water because I'm looking at these people that are well-groomed. First of all, I looked like a train wreck and their concerns were so trivial. It's like, what do you mean? I can't have my hot dog on the airplane? And I'm like, do you realize what happened just an hour from this airport? People are dying and you're worried about your damn hot dog.  

Dr. Jan Canty     00:10:13    And that's what I felt like saying,  and we were instructed not to wear our red cross uniforms anywhere after, out of the area. And I'm like, am I supposed to be ashamed that I'm a red cross volunteer, but you're not supposed to talk about it, mentioned it on the plane, nothing. And I had just felt like I had been on another planet by the time I got home. I, I didn't feel like people could relate to what I'd seen to what I'd smelled to what I'd heard. I didn't know what I had done that made any difference whatsoever in the big picture. And the only tangible thing I had left was a couple of kids' drawings that they did for me, which incidentally was about the military. They showed their helicopters coming in and rescuing people off of rooftops. And that was the drawings that they gave me. And that's my only tangible reminder of my time there, but I've never forgotten that experience. And again, just like with the homicide, I've tried to use it in ways to make me more empathetic and better and understanding people in different shoes than my own.  

Scott DeLuzio     00:11:22    When I first reached out to you,  I knew you weren't a veteran. I knew a little bit of your backstory and I wanted to see if there were any parallels between what you experienced, and what I might call a traditional homicide versus a military death, like a combat death or something along those lines. And, I have to say when you were just talking there, there are so many things that you mentioned that I've experienced myself, or I know other people have experienced who have been in the military. Especially that last part where you're talking about how you felt like you were almost on another planet and you felt like things, these little trivial things I should say are just so foreign to you. Like, why would someone care so much about a hot dog or that their Starbucks latte. Exactly all, those little things. I've talked to a lot of people who've had those same kinds of experiences.

Scott DeLuzio     00:12:43   I wanted to just kind of circle back to some of those experiences. And, when you realize, that you were almost like a fish out of water or on another planet, how did you deal with some of that stuff at once when you realize that the world isn't exactly the same as it was before you had these experiences, at least not your world.  

Dr. Jan Canty    00:13:10    I felt I fell back on knowing that I tried to remind myself of the events that took place while I was there. And remind myself of some of the specifics of where I did feel useful. For example, when I was in Shreveport, I found this woman who was crying and she was sitting on a bench. She looked exhausted and I asked her if I could help. And she said I don't think so. She said I need to find my brother. I want to find my brother. And I don't know where my phone is. And I said, well, you can use mine because Red Cross issues set phones for us. So I loaned her my phone and you'd think I'd given her a million dollars. It was a phone call, but that stuck with me. So I tried to remind myself of, you know, there were some things maybe I could have done more, but I did what I could with the resources I had.  

Dr. Jan Canty     00:14:00    And I was in it with other people who were, had the same focus as I did. And that's all I can ask of myself, I guess. I had to give up on expecting other people to get it particularly far removed from Louisiana. They saw it on the evening news, but it is not the same thing as being there. And I also took away some practical life lessons. For example, I live in an earthquake-prone area and one of the life lessons I took away from being in Shreveport during Hurricane Katrina was you always have a bunch of cash with you in your house or in your car. Because when you have extensive power outages, you have no cash machines. And if you have to buy, let's say $20 worth of gas, and all you have is a $50 bill or a hundred dollars bill.  

Dr. Jan Canty    00:14:48    That's what you're going to pay for $20 worth of gas because nobody's going to give you change because they need their cash. You know, so it's things like that, that I took away. And I remember I assembled this rather large, emergency evacuation kit at my house. It really made an impression on me. It's simple things like you've got to have some form of identification because your apartment or house could be wiped away. And that's where most of your identification is with. So how are you going to prove who you are? And if you can't prove who you are, you're not going to get it. You're not going to be entitled to any benefits that might be extended through FEMA. All you need is something like a utility bill in your name or something that will do. So I started, you know, gathering all this stuff and it took me a solid three weeks of almost full time to really prioritize and learn what I could.  

Dr. Jan Canty     00:15:33    And my husband's looking at me scratching his head. Like, you know, it's the end of the world coming here? I said, no, it's just, I feel I can sleep better if I do this because it puts you on edge. It's kind of like doing surveillance.  You have to anticipate things because you don't know nobody's in control and it's a remote possibility, but it doesn't mean it's impossible. And so I just thought, it's not hurting anybody to do this. I'm going to do it and let it go. That's all I can do is be prepared and let it go. And then, eventually stopped talking about it with other people, but I did save my Red Cross uniform and I've never worn it since, but it's still there. It reminds me of that time that I spent down there. And, also I was one of the take away from that was how amazing I thought that people were, that were the victims of hurricane Katrina, how they organize themselves, how they concern themselves with the welfare of other people and shared. It was a real-life lesson. And I found that same to be true in some of the remote places I was in the world. So I tried to extract from those experiences, life lessons that could help me and, and, put my own situation in perspective.  

Scott DeLuzio     00:16:49    Yeah. So your situation,  I really do appreciate you sharing your background and your experiences, because I think at first I wasn't sure how closely some of these things would parallel these combat deaths or military-related deaths. These things, I want to talk more about those parallels and some of the experiences that you've gone through and that you've seen through other people and how that might be similar to what the military is experiencing.  

Dr. Jan Canty     00:17:35    Well, I think just the whole concept of homicide sets you apart from other people once you've experienced it and other people, most people have not. I mean, homicide is pretty rare, even though we're on the increase, even though we're up to about 20,000 murders a year in the United States, it's still relatively rare. So that means you're not going to be running into a lot of people who say, yeah, I had that happen to me too. And I would imagine the military is no different once you're out of the military unless you live around a post, or, other kind of military installation, you're not going to find a lot of people that can relate to your experience. And so it has a kind of isolating tendency to it. And I found that I don't want to open up about it. I don't want to talk about it with other people that don't understand.  

Dr. Jan Canty     00:18:27    It's just too exhausting for one thing to bring it all up. Not, and I'm not saying that about you, I'm saying about in general, I'm not going to talk to the store clerk, you know, or my neighbor or something that most people who know me today don't have any idea that this has happened to me because it's exhausting. And I think it opens you up for vulnerability. And I do not want to be pitied. I do not. That would infuriate me. I don't want that at all. So I don't open up about it. And it's like, why? I mean, it's not relevant to a lot of people, you know, are you going to talk about Christmas? Oh yeah. And by the way, how do you even broach the topic? So I tend not to only on a very selective basis, only with a real reason to do what I get into it. And that's one parallel that I would think veterans and active duty would have as well as like, why, why would you go there if you don't have to, you have to have a reason to want to.  

Scott DeLuzio     00:19:23    Right. And I think so in my personal experience, my brother was killed in combat. And so when you talk about that, I understand what you're talking about because it's isolating, there's not a ton of people out there who've experienced things the way I've experienced it, or that are, my family has experienced it. 

Dr. Jan Canty  And what other people bring to the situation when you do open up. And I'm sure it's the same with the military as it isn't civilian life, they bring Hollywood with them. Their knowledge of the military comes from milk from the movies and then knowledge of homicide. And so-called homicide survivors come from the movies, and that is so not accurate. And I don't want those stereotypes being thrust on me. I find them infuriating, in fact. So unless I'm in a position, like say giving a lecture or doing a podcast interview or something where I'm in a position to change the minds of people and help them understand the myths, I'm not gonna, I'm not gonna do it. So I think military and civilian people are both bothered by and both affected by the misrepresentations. I mean, the stereotypes about the military, you know, they all got PTSD and be careful, cause they're going to kill you if you turn your back, you know, and if you're a homicide survivor, you're ready for a loony bin.  

Dr. Jan Canty     00:20:47    I'm like, no, no. That's not true at all. so that's another parallel. I think, however, one major difference, if I can speak to it, is that with most and not all, but with most homicide survivors, it happens in isolation unless they're in a mass casualty situation. So they're pretty isolated from the get-go. They don't have anybody around them, especially if, if the murder happened, let's say in their own house. they don't have anybody that w that can share that with them, that has been through it that understands them's people, even within their own family, don't get it.  It's a very lonely existence. It's better now. I mean, we have the internet and you can connect online through Facebook or other means it's not as isolating, but I think having comrades of some kind is helpful, even though I understand as an officer or as an enlisted, you're not open, they're going to talk about it either, but you've probably know people that have been through it and at least, you know, at a distance, they know you and you know, them, even if you only not at one another.  

Dr. Jan Canty     00:21:56    So that's a huge difference between them., I think the other is that again, it's a kind of getting back to the mill, to the Hollywood movies. And so on that, at least from my perspective, um, and I'm sure it's with the military that people don't die. Like they do in movies and movies, all that get one shot, boom, they're dead. And that it is, and they're out, it's graphic, it's ugly. And, you know, and I looked at my husband, he'd been buried for 10 days and he, and they, they said his head on the desk in front of me, it was ugly. It was awful. And I, you know, it's so different from what they portray in movies. And yet you have a personal relationship with that person, although he did not look the same. I knew it was him. And those images stay with you.  

Dr. Jan Canty     00:22:45    You don't forget them. I don't, I'm not saying that they dominate your life or are you, you know, you have to always have it in the forefront. But I think both soldiers and civilians who've been through this, understand how really grizzly it can be. It's not like the movies. And that's what upsets me about video games with, you know, you kill people, and boom, they're gone. And it just, I worry about the impact of those kinds of portrayals on people coming up, that they have no idea of how really awful it is. It's not like the movies at all. Right?  

Scott DeLuzio     00:23:22    Yeah. And especially the people you've mentioned the video games, but the people who grow up playing these video games or they're in high school or whatever, they're playing Call of Duty type games where they're going in and killing people with the expectation that that's what it is actually like. And then they go and experience it for real in real life. And it's different. And they may think that they're prepared and they're ready for it because they've been playing these games all day and I don't care how realistic the graphics are and how real things look. It's different when you're, on the other end of, a real gun. And you're pulling a real trigger and actually seeing the other person being killed. It's just not the same as what happens in a video game and those types of things.  I agree, I think that they may be hurting some of these people who are getting into the military or law enforcement or whatever the case may be and where they end up in that situation. And, they think they're prepared for it, but they're really not, 

Scott DeLuzio   00:24:31  I think another topic, to kind of touch on here, is the topic of grief. And I know that grief is different for everyone., but are there any differences with grief from a sudden loss, like a homicide or a combat death, different from something, like someone who dies from an illness, more of a long-term,  it's coming kind of thing.  

Dr. Jan Canty     00:24:59    Well, I think a huge difference is that with what you're describing with somebody who has a lingering illness, is that the more technical name for that is anticipatory grief, where you're anticipating the death and you can kind of get your last words in or last memory shared. And there's a preparation process, and you kind of creep up on it gently and peacefully, which is very different from a situation where it's abrupt. And I think another term for what you're describing is disenfranchised grief. I think that's what a lot of soldiers must go through. Disenfranchised grief is a word that we use that means that society fails to appreciate or understand or validate the depth of the grief because it doesn't fit their model of grief. In other words, if somebody's child dies, I don't think society has any trouble understanding a lot of sorrow on the part of a parent who loses a child.  

Dr. Jan Canty     00:25:58    But if you're a soldier, one, you, this is what you're trained to do. And two, you don't even know the person who was killed beside you. So why should it matter that much? It's not validated. That's what disenfranchised grief means. And  I think that you see it in civilians too. For example, if you have an ex-spouse who dies and you're grieving society may look at you like, well, why do you care? You're divorced or he divorced you? Why should it matter? Well, you might have a child between the two of you and you might've had an amicable divorce and it does matter. So I think that's a big difference. Also with medical people, I think they are much more inclined to come up and express condolences because it's safer. It's more familiar. And I'm so sorry to hear your uncle passed, you know?  

Dr. Jan Canty     00:26:44    And was there anything you could do? Let me know. Whereas with homicide and military deaths, I don't think people are going to approach you. I think it's more like, I don't know what to say, so I'm not going to say anything at all, and I'm going to pretend like I don't even see you. And so it isolates you even further because the lengths to which people will go either to get out of your way or to be kind of rude about it. It startles me at the end of sensitivity. For example, in my situation, many months later, my neighbor asked me to join them for a barbecue in their backyard. Because I hadn't been out, I hadn't been doing anything and they were nice neighbors. And I said, okay, I'd reluctantly agreed to it. I can kind of escape my notice that people knew me if I didn't know them because my face had been on the news.  

Dr. Jan Canty     00:27:32    And so this one guy had had a few drinks too many and he came up to me and I hear you, you're the neighbor. Right. And I said, yeah. And he goes, yeah, I heard it was a home run. And I'm like, how dare you say that? You know, like, what right. Do you have to say that to me? I just feel like grabbing people by the lapels and just spitting on him. I was so angry. That's like, what gives you that? Right. You know, and I think it's just this with homicide and with military combat, I think people don't have the same degree of comfort. And so it comes out weird. It comes out accusatory or through avoidance and it's inappropriate a lot of the time. And, and people who've only experienced death from a natural death of a loved one through illness. I don't think I get those kinds of responses.  

Scott DeLuzio     00:28:26    Yeah. I think the responses definitely are different. I know when my brother was killed, there were varying responses. Of course, we had, family and friends who reached out and they came out and supported us and everything like that. And that was great. And there they were, they were all welcoming and we're glad that they were there for us. but some of the conversations got a little awkward, you know, when, especially because I was also in Afghanistan at the same time. And so some of the conversations turned to, well, did you, have you killed anybody? It's just like, well why is that even relevant? Right. Where we're talking about something completely different, who cares if I killed anybody? And That's not, that's not the point of this conversation right now. And it's it, but just, just an awkward thing. And I think to your point, they didn't know what to say. It's an unexpected thing. It's not something they're familiar with. They probably never experienced anything like this before.  

Dr. Jan Canty     00:29:32    You got to say, that's all they got to say is,  I really can't feel what it's like to be in your shoes. And I wish I knew what to say, but my words fail me at this point. All I have to do is tell you I'm here, but I don't get it. I wish I could help. I wish I could be more supportive to you. That's all I got to say. They don't need to get weird and, and make questions like, have you ever killed somebody? Yeah. That is just so wrong.  

Scott DeLuzio     00:29:57    Yeah, it is. It is. I think this kind of leads into my, the next thing I wanted to touch on was some of the, maybe do's and don'ts of, interacting with some of these people. Who've, who've been, homicide survivors or have, have survived through, you know, family or friends of someone who's died in a combat or a training accident or something along those lines. w what are some of the things that you do or don't do with some of these people?  

Dr. Jan Canty     00:30:27    I think so I'll talk first about the don'ts. I think one of the things you do not do is say, I know how you feel, unless you've been in combat unless you've had someone die, you don't know how it feels. And so don't, cause it amazes me how people will say, well, you know, I had a dog die. I know just how you feel. And I'm like, I'm sorry, it's a little bit different. It doesn't quite match up. So don't say, I know how you feel. Another thing is to not get what I call bumper sticker remarks like, oh, I really expand to express my condolences. If you need anything, let me know. I'm like, that doesn't mean anything. You hear it so many times it's trite. It's like a parrot saying it.  I think that it gets wearisome and, to say, call me if you need anything, puts the burden on the mourner to come up with it.  

Dr. Jan Canty     00:31:14    You don't know what you need. And you're certainly, even if you had a list, you're not going to probably say to them, okay, what I need right now is my oil change. Would you take care of that? You're not going to do that. You know, I think that's a mistake. A lot of people make them. Third one is, and this is more, I'm going to say this more soon after the death versus later, if it's not been very long, if the person's still in a state of shock, do not touch them. I did not want to be touched. I would go off like a rocket of somebody so much, just put a finger on me. I was so on edge. I think another thing that is, and another thing is not to try and pick their brain for details. It's like, and in my case, it was in the news a lot.  

Dr. Jan Canty    00:32:02    And I think people who read up on it take ownership of it. It's like, they're suddenly in the inner circle and they feel you're special. And they can ask you detailed questions. And I'm like, you don't have the right to ask me that stuff. You know, you're not part of my inner circle. In fact, I don't even talk about it a lot with my family, let alone somebody outside. And I would imagine if you had something in the news about, a military invasion of some kind or a particular battle that people follow it, and then they think they know you and they don't, and they don't have the right to cross that barrier., I think it's also a mistake to try to get kids involved. You know, like you're like say your children, if you won't talk to them, get, come to your children, they're off-limits.  

Dr. Jan Canty     00:32:51    In my opinion, always, oh, there's a press conference or a neighbor playing with your kids. They're off-limits. They don't try to get information directly through children that is so wrong.  I think so far as the things that you can do, I would strongly urge people. Let's say if you are a military vet and you move into an area, not surrounded by other military, but I would imagine it would mean something to have, have somebody come over and say, you know, I'm welcoming you to the neighborhood. What can we do to make it more like, for example, our, our, we always have a street party on the 4th of July and set off fireworks. Would you prefer us not to do that? You know, just showing some kind of, I get it to the person, would be, I think, a welcoming kind of thing to do.  

Dr. Jan Canty     00:33:41     I think that another thing is to rather than say, what can I do call me if you need me? I would think it would be better to say, this is what I would like to do for you. And to come up with something specific, like, I want to cut your lawn this summer, just to welcome you into the neighborhood. And you don't need one more thing on your plate right now. You don't owe me a thing for it. I just want to do it. And unless you tell me otherwise, I'm going to cut your grass. This summer. I had a friend whose husband, I was with her when she got the phone call that her husband committed suicide. And she was beside herself. And she was a very heavyset woman, not in shape by any stretch of the imagination. And she, within a week, was saying, I don't know what to do about my lawn.  

Dr. Jan Canty     00:34:24    I don't know what to do about my lawn. And it's going to look terrible. And I paid for her landscaping for that whole summer. And I know that if I had said to her, call me if you need something, she would've never said, oh, would you get my lawn cut for the summer? That would have never come up. But you would think I'd given her a million bucks. And all it was was a simple landscaping thing, but it meant the world to her. And I think people need to extend themselves that way, put themselves in your shoes and say, I know this person needs X, Y, and Z. What can I do to extend that to them rather than just say, call me if you need something. I think another thing that's way underestimated. And I can't emphasize this enough is just simple listening.  

Dr. Jan Canty     00:35:06    I don't think people need advice. I don't think they need platitudes. And here I am giving advice, but I think people need silence. They needed to have your listening ears there rather than what I think you should do, or why don't you try just to, just to listen without advice, without judgment, and not occasionally let them know. You're, you're dialed into what they're saying, but if you, if you have that kind of a friend, you're going to get a lot further along than if you don't. I think people underestimate the importance of simple listening. There are no magic words you have to come up with, but you do have to be attentive and listen. And I think if again, people just have one or two people like that in their life, it can make a difference.  

Scott DeLuzio     00:35:52    Yeah, for sure. And one of the things I'd like to add onto the dos list, things to do, for, for people who have survived, the survivors of these, these types of, incidents., one of the things that happened when my brother was killed was everybody wanted to bring a meal over and they brought so many casseroles.

Scott DeLuzio     00:36:19    Exactly. So it was great and we loved it and, and, and the outpouring of support was, was great. And I'm not saying anything negative about that, but a way to maybe do that better would be to have someone organize it and say, okay, Monday, Joe is going to bring over lasagna, and Tuesday, someone's going to bring over tacos. And so, find out if there are any dietary restrictions or things like that. So you're not bringing over a cheesecake for dessert when you've got a whole family who's lactose-intolerant or something. So just having that organized because, A few years ago, my wife, she was sick. She was in the hospital for a couple of weeks. And, someone actually did that in organizing a meal thing where each night there was somebody else who was bringing, bringing meals to the house and,  or even just a gift card for takeout from someplace.  

Scott DeLuzio    00:37:20    So that way we didn't have to worry about making a meal that night, and it was such a small thing for someone to do, but it was such a huge relief to us to not have to worry about getting the groceries and preparing dinner and getting everything put together and all that kind of stuff. She wasn't a hundred percent when she got back home and she wasn't really up for cooking. And I had a job and it was hard for me to juggle all of those things. And it was, it was just a big relief. And stuff like that, it may seem like a small thing, but if one person could just organize that and say, okay, here's Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday.  

Dr. Jan Canty     00:38:05    The other thing that that does is you're sparing the person from having to leave home. I know when my husband was killed, I did not want to be out in public. I did not want to leave my house. And so anything I could do within the house, of course, for the internet, which crippled the style a little bit, but anything you can do within the house that could be beneficial is appreciated. And that's why bringing food over is a great idea, especially if it's coordinated, as you said. And then if you know the person well enough to have them sit with you if you eat, I, if you're by yourself, I found that I wasn't even hungry. I was down to about a hundred pounds. I mean, I didn't even want to eat. It wasn't relevant to me at all. I just had a sour stomach and headache, and it just went on for a long, long time.  

Dr. Jan Canty     00:38:52    But I think that is important. And it shows that people are giving you some kind of forethought that they're not just dropping it off and saying, well, job done. You know, I did my little piece. And the one other thing I would strongly recommend people do is understand that when the news first breaks and the person is reeling from the deaths and going through what they're going through, that's when support swells. But six months, eight months, a year later, there is nobody around and they've all gone back to their life. And it's like, it never happened. Yeah. I find when going through a homicide experience, what you find is you'll get a swell of support at the news break. You'll get a swell of support at the trial. You'll get a swell of support at the funeral. And it all goes away after that.  

Dr. Jan Canty     00:39:43    And it's like, it doesn't even exist. And that's about the time you're coming out of shock and you're exhausted and you look around and there's nothing. There's nobody. I remember I was trying to sell my house at that point. And there was nobody. I mean, it was just me in the house, an empty house, pretty much my, my family had gone back to Arizona because they couldn't stay any longer than they did. And of course, my husband was gone because he was the one that was killed. I had no children. So, it was winter on top of it. So it was, a time where it would be sure, nice if somebody had just called and said, you know, I haven't forgotten. I remember what it was like in July for you. And here it is January and how are you doing, but nobody called, nobody did.  

Dr. Jan Canty    00:40:27    I think we tend to forget that. And so the way to do that is just put a reminder in your smartphone, you know, call George in July or something. Let them know. You're still thinking about them and, and you haven't forgotten. I have a friend whose son was killed at the Pulse nightclub and every July, I mean, every June, I contact him and on the date of that death I haven't forgotten your son, haven't forgotten your son. And he said I'm the only person that does it. And, it's such a little thing, but it can, it lets you know, that the world hasn't forgotten.  

Scott DeLuzio    00:41:01    That's a big thing that the people haven't forgotten. and I get that too. Every year there's a, a handful of people who reach out on the anniversary or, you know, around that time frame, maybe not on the exact day, but give or take a few days, they reach out and just say, Hey, you know, just thinking about you, your family and you know, you guys are doing okay and all that kind of stuff and, and you're right. The support does fade over time. I mean, that just, it was almost overwhelming, the amount of support we had in the beginning and you're not in a  

Dr. Jan Canty     00:41:33    Position to make use of it, you're in shock.  

Scott DeLuzio    00:41:35    Right? Exactly. But then it does fade over time and not to say that we don't appreciate the support cause we always appreciate anybody who comes out and shows their support. But, it was overwhelming at first. And then a year later it trickled down to nothing. And then picked it up around the anniversary. We got some support then, and then faded away real quickly after that. And then the next year's anniversary was a little bit less. So, and then a little less. And then after the lesson, you know, and, I'm very grateful. This is now over 11 years now since he's been gone. I still do have people who reach out, and, it is a nice thing that they still do. But you're right. It's one of those things where it ebbs and flows. You get it.  It's almost like drinking from a fire hose in the beginning where you're getting way too much and you don't know what to do with it all. And, it's too much. And then you're just getting little trickles down the road if you're in there if anything at all. Right. 

Dr. Jan Canty     00:42:50    I had a story of a woman I had on my podcast that I thought would be relevant to you. And I wanted to briefly describe what happened. I touch upon many different kinds of homicide on my podcast. This one is on a familiar side, which is a form of homicide in which somebody within the family kills a family member. She was four. Her mother told her to go upstairs and wake her brother up. And she was excited because it was time to play Mario Super Mario. And so she went upstairs to wake her a little, slightly older brother took the pillow off his head and his throat had been slit by her mother. So her mother centered up there knowing that's what she was going to see. And he'd been dead several hours. Anyway, she, well, of course, her mom was arrested. She had no father.  

Dr. Jan Canty   00:43:36    So she was an orphan basically and bounced around from foster home to group home. And just, she was a mess, as you can imagine, not enough intervention psychologically. She had some, but it wasn't enough. Anyway, as she neared adolescence, she decided I had to do something to get out of this state of mind. I meant because she was very reactive and angry and lost and she decided, she said, I need weapons. I need to learn how to use weapons. And I need comradery and I need to be in physical shape. And then it hit her. I'm going to join the military. So she did. And she went to Afghanistan, she got honors for her service and she came out of it. And now she's written a chapter in a book that's coming out soon and you know, my hats off to her, she found her niche. And I raised that story only to drive home. The point is that PTSD is not a life sentence. It doesn't mean you can't use it and direct it and get over it in some way. There are various ways to do it. it sometimes happens before you even get in the military as is her case. But, you know, for her, the military was a godsend. I don't know how she would have fared better than she did really. And, she was surrounded by people who she said were extremely supportive.  

Scott DeLuzio    00:44:59    I mean, that, that's great to hear too, that, that the military could be that support for, for someone who clearly they, that person lost everything. They lost their siblings. They lost their mother in that case as well because, you know, and then, just bouncing around and feeling kind of lost and in the military is really great at that at getting that comradery  

Dr. Jan Canty    00:45:23    And that sense of belonging.  

Scott DeLuzio     00:45:25    Belonging. Exactly. Yeah.  and, you touched on another, interesting point too is that the PTSD from, someone who witnesses some of these traumatic events, whether it's a combat death or, in this person's case, seeing their, their brother laying there in bed and everything there, there's certainly a traumatic aspect to all of this. What is it, you know, if someone has witnessed something like this, what are some of the signs to look out for in those people? So maybe for, from a loved one's perspective,  looking out for them and making sure that the PTSD isn't overwhelming on them and that they can get the help if it's needed.  

Dr. Jan Canty     00:46:19    I think one of the first things that comes to mind is to get to know them and their symptoms well enough to know what their triggers are. They're all unique. They needn't be obvious in my situation, it's baseball bats. I want nothing, you know, I still to this day, and I'm talking almost 40 years later, if I walk into a restaurant in summer where they'll have the baseball game on the TV's and a restaurant, I'll try to sit as weight, as far away from it as I can. I don't want to hear it because inevitably, you're going to hear a bay crack, or you're going to hear a comment like crack of the bat, or that was a home run. And that just chills me to have to go back and, and, and think about that. It pulls me right back. and I used to love baseball before all that happened.  

Dr. Jan Canty     00:47:06    I used to play baseball. so I think knowing their triggers and helping them know what to do, you can't always avoid the triggers, like my restaurant situation or fireworks or whatever it might be, but do you have them prepare ahead of time for what your emergency toolkit is going to be? How are you going to handle it? Well, a real simple one is deep breathing. Believe it or not, it's very helpful. It resets your blood pressure and so on and teaches them and helps them go along with some emergency kind of first aid. It would be helpful and help them with it, help them avoid the trigger in the first place if you possibly can, would be a huge one. And then secondly, if it can't be avoided and it happens in some way, can you get them away from it?  

Dr. Jan Canty    00:47:51    And just again, sit with them, you don't have to talk. You don't have to say anything, but just get them out of the situation and let them regroup. And chances are they'll. They'll do. Okay I think,,  it's a fine line. You don't want to treat them like they're a casualty, but on the other hand, you don't want to be hardened about it either. And so you have to strike this balance and know what their triggers are. They may not even know what they are until they sit and actually give it some thought, because when you're reacting, you're not thinking you're just reacting. It's physiological. I think that another thing would be to discourage certain things that are not helpful, like substance abuse, and encourage them if they need to, to get professional care or this other thing that I've come across not too long ago, maybe you've heard of it.  

Dr. Jan Canty     00:48:46    It's canines for warriors. Have you heard of them? I've heard of them.  These dogs have come from kill shelters or surrendered by their owners. And so it's a win-win for them to, you know, go through this training., I don't know, but I'm a little bit biased. I love dogs. So maybe that's my bias here coming through. But I think something like that is face-saving because it's not quite psychotherapy. It's not a medication, for all the world now you're just out there walking your dog. I mean, it may be, it says service dog, you know, but there's a lot of reasons people have service dogs, they can have them for epilepsy, for example. So people don't jump to the conclusion, oh, you got that because you have PTSD.  

Dr. Jan Canty     00:49:32    No, although they are finding that it helps with not just PTSD, but these dogs are also helping with suicidology with suicidal thinking, and depression, which I can totally get when I'm around my dogs, I mean, they make me happy and they're very, very if I don't feel well, they're Excel attentive. I have a St Bernard's and so they're pretty big and they'll put their heads on my bed and just stare at me if I don't feel well and stay there and just glare at me, like, are you going to get out of bed yet? Are you going to get out of bed yet? But they don't move. They don't, they don't do anything. I didn't train them. That's just how they are. You know, I just feel happy when I'm around them. So there's this, I think another thing is when the mind is freaking out when you're going to have flashbacks or be upset, or I think a basic rule of thumb is if your mind is upset, you exercise your body, you do something physical.  

Dr. Jan Canty     00:50:25    So go running or take a walk with your dog. Or if all you can manage is dancing in your room, do that, but do something physical, something that moves large muscles, I think is a great way to drain off that tension and vice versa. If you're exhausted, physically use your head. I mean, read, watch a good video, and, and get that balance. I think sometimes people are too much in their head if they have PTSD and they ruminate about it and they try to analyze it and they, what if, and blah, blah, blah. And, and sometimes you just gotta get out of your head and go switch gears and do something physical. And the last thing, I think that's kind of a bigger project or a bigger, which is kind of like what you and I are doing is you find some way to make something good, come out of it, whether it's a podcast or whether it's a painting or whether it's a book, volunteer, work,  make a law, you know, is there a way you can change a law?  

Dr. Jan Canty     00:51:24    That's not right in your community or state? I think there's nothing like advocacy. It's not something you can do in the beginning, but I'm talking more long-term that helps you become accountable to yourself and to your quote mission and you help other people in the interim. So you're in my mind, it's like because I, you know, I have a book coming out and I have this podcast that it makes me feel like it's not for nothing. It's not wasted. It's, at least making some good come out of it. And that gives me peace of mind, because if, if nothing good came out of it, then why did I get put through this? You know, that's pretty bleak, but I want to make use of it for other people. And then it's at least something salvageable from it.  

Scott DeLuzio   00:52:12    Yeah, for sure. And I've had that same experience where I've written a book and yeah. So, the book has to do with the experience of losing my brother and all that stuff. And, it feels good knowing that, not only is the book out there to help other people who have gone through some other kind of trauma or grief or, or things like that. But, it also serves to continue telling his story. You know he's no longer around to tell his side of the story and forever, it's there forever. It's going out with me, it's going to, with my kids and everyone else that I'm capable of telling the story to, it'll outlive all of us and it'll just continue on. And I think that's a great thing to do. I, I want to go back to something that you mentioned about dogs and, you know, not necessarily, service dogs, but just dogs in general,  or pets, maybe in general, maybe that's a better way to look at it.  

Scott DeLuzio     00:53:14    Because not everyone's a dog person. we can't all be perfect I guess, but I heard a story once of a guy who had firearms in his home and he was struggling with depression and he was starting to feel suicidal. And first off, if there's a way to remove those from the home and get them out of there, that's one step because, you know, that's certainly not something you want to have around for a moment where you just can't handle it anymore and things like that. But in this guy's case, he ha, no place to move them to or anything like that. You didn't have any, any people nearby that he could, he could hand them off to or anything. So what he did was he took the key to his gun safe and he put it around his dog's collar.

Scott DeLuzio   00:54:13    And then, he said the only way that he was able to get access to his guns was he had to go through his dog first. And he said, he just loved that dog so damn much that there was no way he would be able to do anything to hurt himself after, after going through his dog. And, it may not be the most ideal circumstance and situation, but you know what, if it works, it works. It's what's the saying a dumb, but it works, it ain't dumb, you know? I think, you know, pets can definitely have a tremendous impact on us and, and they, like you were saying, you know, when you're sitting in bed and your, your dogs come up to you and they're like, are you getting up?  

Scott DeLuzio   00:54:58    Or, you know, they do tend to sense things. When my wife was in the hospital, I mentioned that earlier, she had epileptic seizures.  She had never had it before, ever in her life. Our dog at the time she started to notice when my wife was having seizures and she would come up and like to nudge her when a seizure was about to start. It was before my wife even realized that there was going to be a seizure, but the dog would come up and start to nudge her. And she wasn't trained for it or anything like that. It's just, she has been around us all over our lives. And so she noticed these differences in the body chemistry, or I don't know really what it was that she was noticing. She noticed it coming. And so she went in and nudged her and we started to realize that's what she was doing and every single time, but my wife had a seizure, the dog was there and it was giving her a little nudge.

Dr. Jan Canty   00:55:50    So they know more than we give them credit for.  

Scott DeLuzio    00:55:54    They do. They, they may, they may look, look dumb on the outside, but they're pretty smart.  

Dr. Jan Canty     00:56:00    Drooling beasts, but they're really not that stupid really when you get down t it.  

Scott DeLuzio    00:56:05    Right. Well, is there anything else that you wanted to add today about,  whether it's homicide or grief or PTSD or, or anything else that might be relevant? 

Dr. Jan Canty   00:56:16    There's two points I wanted to raise about him. One is, and I'm not trying to find excuses for anybody to say, I can't get better. That's not my intention here, but I do want to mention that with military training, sometimes the very training that you go through tends to strengthen the PTSD response. Such as, for example, if you're trading for combat, you know, you are supposed to be, excuse me, you're supposed to be a light sleeper sleep with one eye open, stay alert, stay alive. And that's what I, that's what PTSD is like if you cannot sleep. You are very hyper. You have a lot of insomnia going on and you are always on edge. I think another similarity is that if you're trained for combat, they're not trying to train you to think empathetically about the enemy. You don't want to think. Does that person over there have a mother, a sister, a child, they're the enemy, and I'm going to take them out.  

Dr. Jan Canty    00:57:10    And so it is with PTSD. It's like, you're not thinking about the impact of your behavior on other people, because it's been so ingrained in you to suck it up and be strong. A third similarity is that, in military training, you're taught to be, mission-focused, get on with it, your own personal ailments and, and needs. Aren't as important as the big picture. And so if you have a headache, so what if you've got a stomach ache, big deal. And I think when you have PTSD, you're so driven to like it, I've got to get this thing done the heck with my symptoms. I can't succumb to that. I've got to get this thing done and you tend to neglect yourself because of it. So my point being that, you know, you can't take the soldier out of the soldier once they're discharged. It doesn't mean they're not soldiers anymore.  

Dr. Jan Canty    00:57:56    And that training is still inherent in them. And that I believe makes it more difficult, more challenging. I'm not saying help like it's hopeless, but I do think it's a reason why PTSD is extra challenging. If you've experienced it as a soldier and why the treatment has to take those factors into account, you can't treat it the same as you would PTSD from a civilian rape. For example, it's not because you don't go through training to be a rape victim. You don't, it just happens to you. So they're not identical. I think that's often overlooked. The other thing I wanted to say is I had a couple of coats. If you'll indulge me that I wanted to read to you about PTSD. One comes from Brigadier General Gary S. Patton. He said, one of our soldiers, specialist Probert, UNRRA took a gunshot wound to the torso.  

Dr. Jan Canty    00:58:48    I was involved in medevacing him off the battlefield. And in a short period of time, he died before my eyes. That's a memory that will stay with me. The rest of my life. He was only 25. The stress hits hardest in the middle of the night. I've lost 69 men over a year-long duty that wakes me up. I've had sleep interruptions from loud noises. Of course there's no IEDs of rockets going off in my bedroom, but the brain has a funny way of remembering those things. Not only recreating the exact sound but also the smell of the battlefield and the metallic taste you get in your mouth. When you have that same incident on the battlefield, we need all our soldiers and leaders. That's the key. I think we need all our soldiers and leaders to approach mental health. Like we do physical health, no one would ever question or hesitate to see a physician to take care of a broken limb or a gunshot wound or shrapnel.  

Dr. Jan Canty    00:59:45    We need to take that same approach towards mental health. I sought help from my depression, my anger, and grief. And I think I'm a better general for it. Second quote, General Carter Ham. He's a four-star general commander. The first infantry division called the legendary big red one before assuming duties as director for global operations, that joint staff at the Pentagon, he said, we were in Mosul. We were in Mosul when a suicide bomber blew up a mess tent, 22 soldiers died that day. It was the 21st of December, 2004, the worst day of my life ever. I can not imagine how a day could be worse than that. To this day, I still ask myself, what could I have done differently? What could I have done as a commander responsible that would have perhaps saved the lives of those soldiers and civilians after I felt like I was doing after I felt what I was doing was no longer important because I had soldiers who were killed in a mission that had not been accomplished.  

Dr. Jan Canty    01:00:46    It took an amazing supportive wife. And in my case, a great chaplain to help me work my way through it. He and his wife drove from Washington state to the District of Columbia, right after he returned from combat. And he went on to say, I probably said three words to her, the whole way across the country. And it was, do you want to stop to get something to eat? I mean, no discussion, no sharing of what happened, where my head was at. If you ask for help, others think you think of you as weak. That's so wrong intellectually. We all know it's wrong, but it's still there. I've learned to cope with the memories. It was a tough road. I was withdrawn. I wanted to still be back there. And what I was doing, I felt was not important. I think frankly, I'm a better general because I got some help. So my point being, if generals can do it, everybody can do it. I mean, I wish that the culture would change and make it so you're not penalized for getting help, but I want to dispel the myth that no one in senior positions has a, has taken a blind eye to this. That's not true. There are people that have been through it and get it that there are people that have been through it and will, are willing to get help.  

Scott DeLuzio     01:01:59    And I think that makes some of the best leaders are the ones who lead by example and do the things that maybe are not popular, not, not the type of thing that that you want to do,  

Dr. Jan Canty    01:02:14    Because if you dealt with the leaving, what's the, is it a better option to have raw with PTs walking around with guns, right? Or do you want people that are treated and are getting a grip on it, walking around, you know, and it's the same kind of culture by the way, in the medical community, if you have surgeons and so on that have PTSD or depression, you're not supposed to go for treatment and you can, you can, you can have some come up. And if you get, if it's got out that you went for treatment, for those things, those who want to shrapnel, I mean, who wants a scalpel in a surgeon's hand knowing they have PTSD? Well, we don't want you on our hospital staff. And I'm like, that's so ass-backward. They ought to be congratulated for getting help and getting on, getting on top.  

Scott DeLuzio     01:02:58    Right? Exactly. Because you become a better version of yourself by being able to grow from the experiences. And, and, and sometimes you need help doing that. And it's the same thing with just about any other thing. If that same surgeon broke their arm, riding a bicycle and they went to go see another doctor to get their arm fixed and put it in a cast. No, one's going to think twice about that and say, oh my gosh, I can't believe you would do that.  

Dr. Jan Canty    01:03:25    Here's the sad thing about PTSD is so much of it is looked at as a psychological problem when in fact so much of it is neurological and biochemical and neural hormonal. If you really look at it in detail, which I'm not going to get into, it bores everybody. I know, but it is, you know, you get into things about the Migdal on cortisol and you know, kind of boring things like that, but it is not weak-willed or, or poor personality. It's physical. It's not a whole lot different from diabetes when you get down to it, many medical conditions affect behavior, and this is no different, but we don't look at it that way, which is so sad because help is available.  

Scott DeLuzio     01:04:07    Yeah. And there is lots of help available. And for the people who would like to seek help, there, there are great people over at the VA, but if you don't want to, or can't go to the VA for whatever reason, there's people all over the place who are offering the type of treatment and therapies and counseling and everything else that, that you could possibly need, to overcome some of these things. And, you know, it would be silly not to try some of that. Right. And if one thing doesn't work, guess what? There's probably something else there's, just keep trying and keep trying it  

Dr. Jan Canty     01:04:43    Because you, cause you know what doesn't work and that's what you're already doing. So what have you got to lose?  

Scott DeLuzio     01:04:49    Right, exactly. If what you're doing right now is obviously putting you in a bad situation, what does it hurt to try something else? The best-case scenario is you walk out with something that works worst-case scenario. You're still in the same position that you're in now. And you're better off because you know, that thing didn't work. So now you can scratch that one off the list and go try something else.  

Dr. Jan Canty     01:05:14    That's right. Yeah. And that's another parallel with physical health is that if you go to see a doctor that you don't particularly like, and you don't feel they've benefited you from your diabetes or your high blood pressure, whatever the reason is you want, you don't just say, well, I tried physical help and that I've given up on doctors altogether because I had this one that wasn't any good. You're more likely to say, well, I'm going to get another doctor. I'm going to try something different. And that's the same with some psychology: you don't give up on the whole thing. Just maybe you got a bad apple. It's possible, they're out there.  

Scott DeLuzio     01:05:46    Right?  

Dr. Jan Canty    01:05:46    Exactly. I know a psychologist. I wouldn't send my dog, But, no names,  

Scott DeLuzio   01:05:54    No, definitely no names, but there's definitely those situations where you just get the wrong, wrong person doesn't mean that the treatments aren't going to work for you, it just means that that person maybe they're experienced in that particular form of therapy or, they don't understand, the combat-related issues.  

Dr. Jan Canty   01:06:16    I think if they get a trauma-informed therapist, who's familiar with combat-related PTSD, who's experienced, who's formally trained. They have a much better chance of finding somebody who's going to be able to meet their needs. Exactly.  

Scott DeLuzio     01:06:31    Yeah. I couldn't agree more. Well, it's been a pleasure speaking with you today, and going through all of this, I'd love to give you the opportunity to let people know where they can go to get in touch with you and find out more about what you do and everything like that.  

Dr. Jan Canty     01:06:49    I've kept it real simple. I just have one thing. I don't do all the little Twitters and all that. I don't have time. So I keep it real simple. It's just my website. So I know that's kind of old school, but if they just go to www Jan Canty, C a N T Y P H d.com, everything is there, or they're going to find material on the podcast. And so far, if I can say one thing, it's a book that I have hopefully coming out in spring, it's not a hundred percent done, but it's getting darn close. It's called coping with the violent death of your loved one. And it's going to be not just about homicide, but suicide. It's going to be directed at the survivors. You know, it takes you through the death notification, the funeral planning the investigation,  on, down through trial probation and parole hearings, and all that. So it's, and I've written the book in conjunction with about 12 other experts. I've called upon them, networking-wise, to contribute their benefit to it. And, hopefully, it'll make some people give them a roadmap as to what they can do in those situations.  

Scott DeLuzio   01:07:59    That's a great resource to have. And I'll definitely add that to the show notes for this episode. Once the book comes out, I'll be sure to keep me updated on that and let me know when that comes out and I'll update the show notes, but, for everyone else, the website that she mentioned earlier, we'll be also in the show notes. So you can check that out there and, and that way you can, you can find, find out more, about Jan and what she does, and, and probably, find out about the book when it comes out as well. you know, if you, if you post that on your website as well, I'm sure that people will be able to find it all there. So, again, thank you very much for joining us. I appreciate your time and for coming on and sharing your story. Thank you for having me and thank you for your service. Thank you. Thanks for listening to the Drive On Podcast. If you want to check out more episodes or learn more about the show, you can visit our website, driveonpodcast.com. We're also on Instagram, Facebook, Twitter, LinkedIn, and YouTube at Drive On Podcast. 

]]> 01:09:11 <![CDATA[VetGigs]]> Thu, 17 Feb 2022 08:00:00 +0000 Scott DeLuzio https://drive-on-podcast.castos.com/podcasts/2296/episodes/vetgigs Brett Currier created an online talent marketplace, called VetGigs, that connects veterans with employers who are looking to hire them as skilled professional freelancers.

Links & Resources

Transcript

Scott DeLuzio   00:00:00    Thanks for tuning into the Drive On Podcast, where we're focused on giving hope and strength to the entire military community, whether you're a veteran, active duty, guard, reserve, or family member, this podcast we'll share inspirational stories and resources that are useful to you. I'm your host Scott DeLuzio, and now let's get on with the show. Everybody welcome back to the Drive On Podcast. Today, my guest is Brett Currier. Brett's organization. VetGigs is an online talent marketplace that connects veterans with employers seeking to hire them as skilled professionals, service freelancers. Brett's here today to talk about his career in the military, his transition out of the military and how VetGigs came to be, and how it's helping out veterans. So welcome to the show, Brett.  

Brett Currier   00:00:56    Thanks so much Scott. Really happy to be here.  

Scott DeLuzio    00:00:58    Yeah, absolutely. So why don't you give us a little bit of your background and who you are, what you did in the military, that type of stuff.  

Brett Currier    00:01:07    Yeah, happy to. I served 12 years between the Army National Guard and active service. I just ETS actually last year in 20, or now a year before last in 2020, in April. So I spent most of my time as a military policeman, but also served as a religious fairs NCO as well. And, my service included a torn operation, Iraqi freedom. and actually most of the wildfires you've seen in the news out in California, I was running the operations out there as the operations NCO, my  MP unit. So that was a really fantastic opportunity as well, to kind of make an impact on our local community as a, as a veteran. After getting out of the army, actually, after leaving active service, I went into management consulting,  where I worked at Deloitte consulting for nearly five years, and now work at a more specialized firm called Huron consulting group. They are really supportive, but the mission where we're doing it, VetGigs, and it was, that time working in consulting that really gave me the idea to start VetGigs, as I saw that major disconnect between, the veteran community and all the employers who, in concept really wanted to hire them, but they wasn't quite sure how to go about doing it.  

Scott DeLuzio    00:02:31    So, where did that idea come from?  I know you said your employer is very supportive of it, but, there's more of a backstory to that and how you came up with VetGigs and everything. Give us a little background on that.  

Brett Currier   00:02:46    Yeah, absolutely. I've always been passionate about helping others in the veteran community. I mean, that's just part of the NCO way, we find out something new, we find a better way to do something and we're out there teaching others in our squad or platoon or company, our community, how to do that. I really found my new professional purpose after the military in consulting and wanted to help pass on all the many resources out there on how to do it. But when it became just a deeply personal mission for me, it's unfortunately after beginning to lose more and more battle buddies due to suicide.I lost my first battle buddy to suicide just a few months after getting back from Iraq. And that hit me really hard.  

Brett Currier    00:03:37    But at that poin...

]]> full 151 false Brett Currier created an online talent marketplace, called VetGigs, that connects veterans with employers who are looking to hire them as skilled professional freelancers.

Links & Resources

Transcript

Scott DeLuzio   00:00:00    Thanks for tuning into the Drive On Podcast, where we're focused on giving hope and strength to the entire military community, whether you're a veteran, active duty, guard, reserve, or family member, this podcast we'll share inspirational stories and resources that are useful to you. I'm your host Scott DeLuzio, and now let's get on with the show. Everybody welcome back to the Drive On Podcast. Today, my guest is Brett Currier. Brett's organization. VetGigs is an online talent marketplace that connects veterans with employers seeking to hire them as skilled professionals, service freelancers. Brett's here today to talk about his career in the military, his transition out of the military and how VetGigs came to be, and how it's helping out veterans. So welcome to the show, Brett.  

Brett Currier   00:00:56    Thanks so much Scott. Really happy to be here.  

Scott DeLuzio    00:00:58    Yeah, absolutely. So why don't you give us a little bit of your background and who you are, what you did in the military, that type of stuff.  

Brett Currier    00:01:07    Yeah, happy to. I served 12 years between the Army National Guard and active service. I just ETS actually last year in 20, or now a year before last in 2020, in April. So I spent most of my time as a military policeman, but also served as a religious fairs NCO as well. And, my service included a torn operation, Iraqi freedom. and actually most of the wildfires you've seen in the news out in California, I was running the operations out there as the operations NCO, my  MP unit. So that was a really fantastic opportunity as well, to kind of make an impact on our local community as a, as a veteran. After getting out of the army, actually, after leaving active service, I went into management consulting,  where I worked at Deloitte consulting for nearly five years, and now work at a more specialized firm called Huron consulting group. They are really supportive, but the mission where we're doing it, VetGigs, and it was, that time working in consulting that really gave me the idea to start VetGigs, as I saw that major disconnect between, the veteran community and all the employers who, in concept really wanted to hire them, but they wasn't quite sure how to go about doing it.  

Scott DeLuzio    00:02:31    So, where did that idea come from?  I know you said your employer is very supportive of it, but, there's more of a backstory to that and how you came up with VetGigs and everything. Give us a little background on that.  

Brett Currier   00:02:46    Yeah, absolutely. I've always been passionate about helping others in the veteran community. I mean, that's just part of the NCO way, we find out something new, we find a better way to do something and we're out there teaching others in our squad or platoon or company, our community, how to do that. I really found my new professional purpose after the military in consulting and wanted to help pass on all the many resources out there on how to do it. But when it became just a deeply personal mission for me, it's unfortunately after beginning to lose more and more battle buddies due to suicide.I lost my first battle buddy to suicide just a few months after getting back from Iraq. And that hit me really hard.  

Brett Currier    00:03:37    But at that point I was still really junior, soldier, junior professional, and didn't really have the idea yet on how I could help prevent that in the future. And unfortunately, that sense of loss, I felt compounded with each additional loss of a battle buddy. I heard from one of the last guests on your show,  Chris who runs a Storytime Project, he was saying that there's so much effort out there to get the word out just this problem, but not a whole lot, on how to fix it. It kind of hit a light bulb for me one day when I was talking with some battle buddies on what the issue is here. And we kind of found a common thread of veterans getting out of service or preparing to get out of service and they face a loss of professional purpose.  

Brett Currier    00:04:35    They're like, wow, I'm going from this role in which even as a junior enlisted person where you're responsible for often over $300,000 worth of equipment, you're constantly interfacing with others with very senior leadership you're training.  You have all of these many soft and hard skills you bring to the table and then go into the civilian world. And you're the only jobs that are marketed to do your opt-in like security guard, jobs, law enforcement, things like that. Not that there's anything wrong with those jobs, but oftentimes they don't capitalize on the many skills you bring to the table. They don't present income levels. That's really going to be life-changing or equitable with your skills. And, you don't have that same sense of comradery and everything as well. You're not often working on part of a large tight team.  

Brett Currier    00:05:26     But in consulting, you are able to work on teams, work on close-knit teams, the income you're gonna receive starting off as often, pretty life-changing for military families. You're working with senior client leadership often at the director C-suite level.  and it's capitalizing on all the many soft skills you bring to the table, your training, facilitation experience, your ability to kind of run a meeting. you were able to kind of take an end goal that the mission commander's intent and, and run with it and own your piece of the mission. And so, yeah, you got to pick up some of the hard skills like tech and whatnot, but there's so many free resources out there to learn it. So that light bulb just kind of connects and I'm like, Hey, this is how I can help. The idea actually started off as a staffing agency originally.  

Brett Currier  00:06:20    And I was like, look, I can help connect these two communities, but I didn't really see that as scalable. And one day I was kind of looking at the Upwork and Fiber Freelancer Marketplace models out there.  Hey, that they're really scalable. And they connect communities well together. Why don't we have one of those for veterans? I didn't see one out there, so I built it. and that's our business side. Connecting those two parties together and helping iron out all the pain points with freelancers, or with, being a freelancer. But our real mission comes in the altruistic side where we're just talking with veterans day in and day out, helping them figure out their career goals, helping them figure out what's next. And then once they figure out what they want to do, whether they want to work with us as a freelancer or not, we help them get the hard skills. They need to find their new sense, professional purpose and help them get into the next mode of work. If they want to go work at a big consulting firm, we'll help get them a referral there. If they want to work with us as a freelancer. That's great. I mean, it's our business and we can definitely help them as well.  

Scott DeLuzio     00:07:33    The things you touched on there, and I really love this about veterans and, and the, the work ethic and their, their way that they do things is you said you, you did a little research on the different marketplaces that are out there,  the fiber, the Upwork, and all that kind of stuff. And you notice that there was nothing out there geared specifically towards veterans, not saying that veterans can use any of those other marketplaces, but nothing geared specifically towards veterans. And so you built it, you see a problem and you say, well, there's a problem up there. I'm gonna solve it. And I'm just gonna, I'm gonna figure it out and do it. That probably wasn't the initial goal of, your research and everything that you were looking to, come up with a whole new solution here.  

Scott DeLuzio     00:08:24    But that's what ended up happening. You saw the problem and you said, well, hell with it. I'm just going to do it, so it's a great way to look at the problem and a great thing that veterans do is they just go out there and solve problems. When you were getting out of the military,  with your own transition out, what challenges did you face in that transition, that might parallel some of the things that some of the people that you're working with might be facing as well?  

Brett Currier    00:09:12    Yeah, absolutely. There've certainly been plenty of, I don't want to necessarily say missteps, but stepping stones I had in my transition and plenty of blocks I'd come up with.  and I'd say, one of the major things that we as veterans bring to the table is that level of tenacity, that we approach problems. I certainly didn't set out to build a new platform, as you said, but I, as any soldier, will look at the problem to solve.  We have this problem, here are my potential solutions to approach it.  And when there wasn't anything else out there I could have really utilized it well. I took this step to build it myself, but I wasn't always a tech guy or even a consultant.  

Brett Currier   00:10:06     When I first got back to my rack, I spent time bartending and I was like, this is really fun, but not something I want to do forever. Then I went back to work in, I w kind of active duty role state, active duty role for a couple of years where I was working as full-time MP,  desk Sergeant, the provost Marshal office. And, again, I was able to put my brain back to work and put all of the many skills. The army built me back to work. But I also knew that wasn't quite what I wanted to do. And that was when I learned about consulting and the roles available there. It's funny. I actually remember the moment in which I learned about management and consulting. So I was working at the front desk of the California National Guard Headquarters, and it was a late shift or a really early shift.  

Brett Currier    00:10:57    There wasn't much happening, but I was sitting next to my NCO. I'd see. And I read a study by Deloitte or, or McKinsey, one of the big consulting firms out there. And I remember reading about how the management consultants had approached this study in this problem, working with C-suite leaders. I'm like, oh, wow, that sounds a hell of a lot, like what we do as soldiers, as an operation Sergeant or as a platoon Sergeant or we're not approaching these problems with your command staff. This is what we do every day. So why isn't this a more natural transition into the civilian world rather than folks getting pushed into really low-skill, low-wage work? I kind of brought that up to my end, CYC he just kind of poo-pooed all over the idea of it saying that it was not really a job for us.  

Brett Currier    00:11:53    That was a job for the Ivy leaguers and those more privileged and I thought I don't think so. I think I can do this. And so I set out trying to learn from all the mentors and at the time, no, I didn't know. I'm not even sure ADI was a thing back then.  I certainly didn't know about it. So I was just reaching out to people on LinkedIn and people with the skill sets that I wanted. I didn't have yet in the areas of work I wanted to be in but wasn't working yet. And through those, and even things like the consulting subreddit, I just soaked up all the resources I could, charted my path forward, and continuously refine that, that plan we would do on the battlefield We could go into it with the best well-intended plan,  and it just doesn't, quite survive after getting punched in the face.  

Brett Currier    00:12:46    We reform, we keep going towards it, so now there's really great resources like ADI out there that veterans can go and veterans, spouses can use. I'm a really big fan of it. I've used it both as a veteran and as a mentor, pretty extensively. And it's been fantastic. I think it's important even once you achieve your first level of goals, keep going back and finding mentors who can help you achieve that next step. It certainly helped me with those gigs and that same method helped me really get it consulting as well.  

Scott DeLuzio     00:13:24    And when you transition out of the military, obviously the first step is finding your next step: whether it's education or a job or whatever it happens to be for you. You need to figure that step out. But there's always growth after that. It's not like you're just going to go and start a job and then just stay stagnant in that same job for the rest of your career. You're always looking to improve yourself and grow, ideally, you want to make sure that your life is on an upward trajectory and not a downward or, just stagnant, stale, trajectory. So even after you've gotten that first job, you definitely want to keep improving yourself and moving forward, to improve your situation, move up in your career, and everything else. So has this always been something that's been like in, in your, your wheelhouse, looking for solving problems, finding new things to do, or is this something that just kinda sparked after getting out of the military?  

Brett Currier    00:14:49    I certainly have always been entrepreneurial. I actually had my first legal business and I was 11 years old in the army war college when I was there as a dependent had found my dad's shoes anyway, and just one of my chores. And so I figured, Hey, why not make some money at this too? And I wanted to just kind of do it under the table. My dad wouldn't let that happen. So he actually made me go march myself into the MP provost marshal office, get a business license and do it for real. And at first, they laughed me out of the door. He came back in and it was like, no, no, he actually wants to do this. It's not a joke. And so yeah, that was actually really successful my first kind of entry, into entrepreneurship.  

Brett Currier    00:15:38   But of course, it took a long hiatus with being an army. I had one business during that time. But this is my first big one after completely leaving the military. And it's something that is incredibly meaningful for me and, and really became more than a business and really a mission. As I continued to lose battle buddies and saw that this is a problem in our community that needs more than just awareness, but an active participation from us as a community stepping up and working on it because there's so many resources out there. I kind of use the metaphor as strands of rope. I feel like folks are really disheartened when, and they can't get all the services they can from one resource. But when we talk with each other, like you and I talked, Scott, we inform each other as resources or especially inform others of resources on your platform. On this podcast, we start tying knots between all the ropes and we create a net and that net is what really holds up our community together. 

Scott DeLuzio     00:16:58    Yeah, it does. And that's one of the things I like to do on this podcast is share all these different resources, things like VetGigs, and other organizations that I've had people on to talk about because maybe, something that's going to help them out. But maybe it's something else that they're having a problem with. They might know somebody who's having a problem with their career. So now they've listened to this episode, they've heard a little bit about what VetGigs does and we're going to get into more about how that works with veterans and everything, but then they're able to share that information. And so just like you said, and I like that of tying those pieces together in order to form that net, the vet's going to help catch all the issues that we might be struggling with. And that's a really good way of thinking about it because each individual strand is just not going to do and do it all on its own. But when you start tying these strands together, you make something that's much stronger and much more supportive, and that's going to be able to catch these issues. 

Brett Currier   00:18:27    Yeah, exactly. It takes all groups.  

Scott DeLuzio     00:18:30    Let's talk about that aspect. Let's talk about the aspect of the professional services, the freelancing side of things, where, the people who are looking to find a new purpose after the military, how does the freelancing aspect of it help them find that new purpose after getting out?  

Brett Currier    00:19:01    Yeah.. That's a really great question. I had the opportunity to work in multi-facets, across professional services, both at a big consulting firm like Deloitte, one of the largest in the world, now at a much more specialist firm Huron consulting group, which is also still very large, but just more narrow in, in-depth, in certain industries. I've had an opportunity to work before as a freelancer as well. And well, working at a company provides a lot of security, provides you the opportunity to put all of your hard skills and soft skills to work, and can be great opportunities for veterans. What I still find many veterans and military spouses really value when leaving the military is a sense of autonomy. They're like, oh, I don't, I don't want to work for anybody else.  

Brett Currier   00:19:59    I want to choose who I work for. And I want to choose the hours I work in this and that I worked in such a strict environment as the military. I want some freedom, and the cool part about being a freelancer is, yeah, you're still working for someone in the sense of yes, they're our client. But you get to choose who it is. If you've had a bad experience working with a certain consulting firm, you don't have to work for them as a subcontractor. Maybe you don't want to work as a subcontractor for anybody, and you want to work directly for higher ed institutions or government agencies or whoever it is who's going to be that end and, employer, there's plenty of opportunities to do that. The other, really big benefit is you are paid your market value as a freelancer.  

Brett Currier    00:20:53    Whereas as an employee, you're constantly having to go back to them and ask for pay raises when you up-skill. So say you're a Salesforce consultant, you get your first level of a Salesforce administrator certification. You get a job $70,000 a year working at a big consulting firm as a Salesforce administrator. But then in six months you go and you get your app builder certification or whatnot that may have just nearly doubled your market value. And if you had got a job, then as a platform, you're as an app builder, maybe that's a $120,000 job, but you're going to have to go to them. And they're going to say up, wait till the end of the year, then you can ask for that pay raise. So at your end of the year, justify yourself as an employee, and you say, Hey, you know, I got this new certification.  

Brett Currier   00:21:41    This is what my new market value is and how I'm providing all this new value to the firm. And they will say, okay, cool, we're going to give you a 15% rate, but 15% over 70,000 is not nearly 120,000.  The difference is, as a freelancer if you get that new certification, you don't have to wait a year to ask for pay rates. You simply update your market. You're asking the bill rate to, maybe going from $50 an hour to a hundred dollars an hour. And when you get a new client you're working for them as an app builder, you can then charge that new a hundred dollars an hour, and your market valuation immediately goes up and you're charging what you're, what you're worth. The other really big benefit as a freelancer is you don't have all of the extra work on top of your 40 hours billable rate that you would have at a consulting firm.  

Brett Currier    00:22:41    So at a consulting firm, you have your 40 hours or 50 hours a week that you are billable to a client, but then on top of that, they regularly want you to be part of the sales process to write proposals. They want you to be working on extra initiative things, which could be everything from planning a holiday party to, coming up with new methodologies and working on templates and things that grow the firm's assets that they're bringing to the table. So that can very easily take a 40 or 50-hour workweek to a 60, 70, 80-hour workweek, especially at the big four consulting firms. It's quite common, as a freelancer, no one is going to ask you to stay on beyond your 40 hours, on your client's site, because or not on your client's site, that can be virtual or for a person because they have to pay you per hour to do that. So, no one's going to pay you a hundred dollars an hour to plan a holiday party, unless you're really, really good at planning holiday parties, maybe you're consulting them.   

Brett Currier  00:23:48    Exactly. But if you're there to implement salesforce they're probably not going to pay you to do that. And so your hours really stop there, and yeah, maybe you have five hours extra a week that you're invoicing clients or running payroll. If you have other people working for you managing your QuickBooks for your expenses you had during the week, things like that, but it's not going to come close to anything else. And if you're using a tool like VetGigs we eliminate a lot of those pain points for you because you don't have to invoice the client so that money gets dropped right in your account. You're not spending nearly as much time finding work and writing statements of work because we help you with all of that, we really iron out all of those pain points, but you get all the many benefits that come with being a freelancer.  

Brett Currier    00:24:42   you're gaining some of the same benefits as if you were working at a big consulting firm, in the way that you're working as part of a team. You own your own piece of the mission, and you're trusted with the autonomy to, to really accomplish that piece of the mission. you're often also like people reporting to you. You get to use that management leadership experience, and your growth is really only limited by your own ambition because we have access to just so many free resources out there to grow your tech skills, your business skills, everything else. And, it's really just up to you. So,  that's one of the areas we help out with is, helping veterans who maybe have zero background in technology or business, really figure out what they could be good at in professional services and what their interests may be., because don't worry, you're not the only one. I had no background in technology whatsoever untilI decided to get interested and now the stuff I do isn't super tech-heavy. You don't have to be a coder programmer. It's most of the configuration and tech I do, isn't all that more complicated than updating your settings on social media,  

Scott DeLuzio    00:26:06    One of the things that you mentioned and it piqued my interest. I'm curious about how VetGigs kind of eliminates some of the admin work:  the invoicing clients and that type of stuff. Can you tell us a little bit about how that works? So let's just take an example of someone who signs up with those gigs and gets a job through VetGigs. What are the benefits that they get from using VetGigs versus maybe some other freelance-type marketplace?  

Brett Currier    00:26:42    Yeah, so we add on the decades platform, we really sought to identify all the pain points that come with being a freelancer and try and iron them out the best we can, like we're gonna close in a scrunched up uniform. So the first one we notice is finding work really, because all of the other freelance marketplaces I saw out there,  while they were really good at connecting employers and freelancers, they weren't really focusing on this high skill, high paid jobs in professional services.  Things like technology positions,  consulting roles, whether it be strategy tech or otherwise, accounting, finance, audit, legal. And so,  it's not that there's anything wrong with the low bill rate,  jobs you see on Upwork or Fiverr. bBut the income isn't going to be really life-changing for veterans, nor is it going to give them an opportunity to put all of their many hard and soft skills to work, in a way that, that the high skill high bill rate jobs would be.  

Brett Currier    00:27:58    So I'd sought out to use my network in consulting to really grow the job opportunities on best gigs, to meet those high bill high skilled jobs. And, we've also set up a number of really great partnerships with great employee employers who really want to invest in, in their high, high, skilled jobs. So I work really closely with a lot of CEOs and CHRs to just not, not just staff they're low, they're kind of lower-echelon staff roles, but also they're kind of leadership roles as well where they really want a lot of skill and a lot of experience. But they don't want a full-time like full FTE in their operational expenditures. So that's the first thing,  we really help by cutting down the downtime between jobs by having a pool of really, really quality jobs on VetGigs.  

Brett Currier   00:28:56    And that's growing all the time, our pipelines are quite large, and really just stemmed by the amount of veteran freelancers on the site. So as we grow more, you're going to see more and more jobs get posted, as we hit different thresholds of freelancers on the platform. The next thing is by helping cut down on the amount of time it takes to actually come to an agreement on the work. So in professional services generally before you start a job, and whether you're a big consulting firm or you're a freelancer, everyone generally does is called the statement of work. And it basically just says, look, this is the scope of the work that's going to get done for this amount of money. And it generally takes weeks to do, because it's generally a big word document. You're going back and forth with all the agreement, but we cut out the need for a SOW because our platform uses really basic milestone functionality, where basically when the freelancer sees a gig, they want to send in a proposal for, they say, look, here's my bio.  

Brett Currier    00:30:00    Here's about me.  I will do X amount of work for Y amount per hour or maybe it's a single milestone job. It's not a repeating milestone. That's going to go on for weeks or months. And they say, maybe do this one thing. I'll build these sections of reports for you for $10,000. But most of our jobs are weekly or monthly paid for longer periods of time, kind of similar to a W2 position. So, more likely. Hey, I'll come in and help you on your Workday student implementation. You can pay me a hundred dollars per hour. I'll work 40 hours per week, and we'll do it for 12 months. Sounds good.  Yep, sounds good. That's what we need. Perfect hire. And then based on that, that leads us to the next big pain point we help solve, which is getting paid.  

Brett Currier    00:30:59    If you talk to a lot of people, especially former freelancers, they'll tell you, yeah, it was great. I loved the flexibility, this and that, but I stopped doing it cause I had to chase down even cities to get paid. I'd be working directly for a city or county or whoever, and I couldn't get them to pay me. And so we help solve that and negate that problem because we use the payment, based on the agreement you made on milestones. If you said a hundred dollars an hour, 40 hours a week, that's what $4,000 a week it's going to be on that milestone date, pull the money from the employer and drop it into the freelancer's account. Making it just really easy and safe and fast payment for the freelancers. So we try to iron out all those bugs.  

Scott DeLuzio   00:31:49    That's a great thing because when I used to do some freelance work where I was building websites and doing things like that for local businesses and stuff, and one of the things that drove me absolutely crazy was what you just talked about with trying to track down clients and getting them to pay. And, I had one client towards the end of the time that I was doing freelance work, where he met with me, he signed up to do a website and everything was great. Then he went to Hawaii for two months and he just disappeared. He didn't answer emails, phone calls, or anything. And, I felt, the website's pretty much done. It's sitting here waiting for you to approve, and I need to get paid at some point for this thing to go live. And, I had nothing. I think maybe the straw that broke the camel's back for me to walk away from freelancing. But if there was a way to automate some of that stuff where it would just be paid when the work was done, I probably, I might still be doing that type of work because I did enjoy doing it, but that the hassle of all that stuff just drove me nuts. This was bad.  

Brett Currier    00:33:17    Yeah. You're, you're certainly not the only one there, Scott and it's something we help with a lot. One of the other things we really help with too is helping veterans and veteran spouses look at their lifelong learning potential too. And where's your experience now? And your interest. And, in your case you just said, you had previously done some web design work and things like that, but maybe you came to us and look, I do this now to make pretty good money. I'm able to bill 30 bucks, 40 bucks an hour doing it. But I'd love to get into more of a consulting-type role working on a large system implementation executor. That's where the real money is. And I would say you're absolutely correct. So let's look at how we can build on that experience of what you like doing and put into something else.  

Brett Currier    00:34:01    And one area it's really common for folks that have design experience and web building experiences like UX and UI design.  I actually just helped place somebody the other day in a successful job. I think it's likely going to be about $120,000 a year, doing UX UI design. And,  he had kind of a similar background as well., so we helped them kind of look and say, okay, first off the experience you had before if you just put it down as web design experience, it's probably not going to be all of that. attractive to big employers. They're not going to look and say, oh, that's a relevant experience. But if we start getting you in courses, learning UX and UI design, and learning language, we can re-articulate that experience is more like stepping stones and your, your design career.  

Brett Currier   00:34:55    And it will really show your UI UX design starting way back then, because you may not have realized it, but you were doing wireframes and you were doing in many, many cases, high fidelity prototypes. And you just didn't know maybe that language back then, but we'll really articulate your experience. Get you in the courses. You can, the modern UI UX software and the language.  And you're going to be a highly attractive candidate for an employer who really wants to hire you as a freelancer or in many cases, as an employee, for that position. So it's one more pain point. We show an actually one thing I really want to do in the future is build out a calculator to show that future value where you can plug in different inputs and say, I'm a UI UX designer, or I want to be UI UX designer. If I take this course, it's going to take me this amount of time. And this is the new income that I can expect from it. Kind of a wealth calculator for calculating retirement, but looking at your potential earning value.  

Scott DeLuzio    00:36:04    Yeah. That's pretty cool because you might be sitting there thinking, okay, well maybe this course sounds like a good thing to do, but what does that really going to translate into for my own career in my earning potential and everything, is it even worth the time to take it? Because if it's, if it's just moving, moving the needle very slightly, maybe it's not, but if it's moving the needle, I think you were saying before, maybe you were making $50 an hour and then you can move up to a hundred dollars an hour. If you take a couple of courses and learn a new skill, that could be a pretty significant difference. That type of stuff is pretty useful. I think. So that would be cool. But I know we've been talking kind of generically about consulting and professional services and things like that. So what are the types of roles that are out there for the veterans and, I guess spouses too, right?  Who is using this platform?  

Brett Currier    00:37:09    Oh, absolutely. Scott. And I think you hit on a really important point that while we use the term veteran so much, we're really talking about the veteran, holistic veteran community, which includes veteran spouses because they're eligible for many of the same programs skill translation programs and, new hard skill programs where they can go and get tech certifications as well and business certifications. So as, as the veterans themselves, there are so many different roles out there. And that's one of the reasons why I always encourage people to reach out, either directly to me on LinkedIn, via our website on VetGigs.com,  or any other way, just reach out to us. And we'll, we'll help talk to you about the different pathways you can go, cause you don't need to necessarily have background in that area to get into it.  

Brett Currier   00:38:05   there's always a starting point, but the career paths are so broad, even specifically just within technology projects. Because you look at just technology projects, you've got the project management team who have their special skill sets and roles on a project. You've got your change management team, which I think is so translatable to veterans and the military world. And in general, because changing jobs is to understand everything that's happening on the project and how it's going to impact the organization. Which is something we're so familiar within the military. in the military, it doesn't always handle change well, but it handles it regardless because it's happening. Anyone who's at wherever worked in operations or, really any department we understand, we're used to understanding how, what our piece of the mission is, how it's going to impact other shops downstream or, or other units on the battlefield.  

Brett Currier    00:39:13, I coach people on quite a bit, and if they're just really not sure don't have an interest necessarily in tech or anything like that. I'm thinking about change management because there. You're going to have to understand the elements of what's happening. But you don't have to be in there coding. You don't even have to be in their configuration. it's going to be more understanding what's going on and then building what are effectively SOVs, we'll call them business process designs in the business world, but you're building like new business process blows and writing communications going out to,, the organization or to the project team on what's happening. So that's a really big one. The other ones are our functional consultants who really understand software as to how it's functioning, how it's operating, what its capabilities and limitations are.  

Brett Currier    00:40:11    So then we go and work with the clients to understand what their needs are, how they need to use the software, and really gather the requirements on what needs to be done. So we can either take that to the tech team to build it, or we can configure it using the currently built systems capabilities. And then you've got the technical team who are the coders, the programmers, guys kind of doing things behind the scenes. And that's more traditionally what most of us think of when we think of tech. There are plenty of veterans I've met who have a great aptitude in that as well. Certainly not me, but I've met plenty of those out there who have been taking coding courses and whatnot, while they're in the service. Good on them.  

Brett Currier   00:41:01    That's awesome. You've certainly got bright careers ahead of you and there's always people for coders. That's a great path as well. And then you've got so many other things as well. The roles where the responsibilities like building databases or managing databases, you've also got those where building reports are really big, writing out reports in different systems, more building them from scratch as well. So all kinds of different positions out there, it's truly limitless. And that's just looking at tech outside of tech. You've got a number as well, within the business world, but tech is certainly an area where there's just so many broad positions and there's so much money flowing in. That's generally an area I advise people to at least consider some of the different roles and what may be interesting. And then we can look outside too, but then you've got a wide range of jobs in what you could accept.  

Scott DeLuzio     00:42:09    Yeah. And I totally agree with that sentiment of, in terms of there's money to be made there. And people are looking for hiring those types of people in the tech world because even if you have no background in technology, coding, whatever like you were saying before, there's no reason why you can't learn it, why you can't take a few courses and start to build your skill set to be able to be marked in those fields. When I went to college. My background is Business.  I went to college first, then joined the military.   A little backwards from how a lot of people do it, but that's okay. I joined after 9/11and I, so that was kind of my spark for joining the military. But I was already in school at that point.  

Scott DeLuzio     00:43:06    I wanted to finish it out.  My degree was in accounting when I graduated and I ended up teaching myself how to code and develop websites and everything. And that's what I do for work now.  I learned how to do all that stuff, over the years. I was working a job that had nothing to do with coding or anything like that. But in my own spare time, I was teaching myself how to do all of that stuff. And there are so many resources out there, free resources,  there's some paid courses and things like that too, but there's so many resources out there that there's no reason why, if that's something that you think you might be good at and you might enjoy doing that, you shouldn't be able to.  Do it even just in your spare time, just, nights, weekends, that type of thing.  

Scott DeLuzio    00:43:59    When you have a little bit of time to just pick it up and try to see if that's something that you, can even do, chances are pretty good that you could do it if you just put a little bit of time into learning it, especially if you don't have any of that background. But if you do have the background,,  even better for your situation, because then you have that to be able to build on and improve your skills and everything else has changed. But, there's no reason why people can't figure that out and learn how to do some of these things. And I can't talk about every industry, but I'm just speaking from my own experience. If I can do it, and I'm not the brightest guy in the world, if I can do it, I think, I think a lot of people can do it.  

Brett Currier    00:44:50    Yeah.  I totally agree, Scott. I tell people that all the time, look, if I can do this, you can do this. We, the first to admit, I am not the superstar, just a tech guy. I've learned how to do it. And I've been pretty successful in my industry. So certainly, everyone else has the opportunity to do that as well and can definitely get there.  I think it really just starts talking to, finding some mentors and your ideas. You have an idea you want to get into tech and I'll find a mentor there, jump on better ADI, or shoot me an email We'll talk about the different paths out there because then you can really set your sites and on what are some targeted learning opportunities I can go after that are going to help me attain my twenty-five seventy-five meter 150-meter 300-meter goals and, really attacking in a targeted manner. So you are charging in one direction really fast instead of 10 directions, kind of inching along.  

Scott DeLuzio    00:46:02    Exactly. Now, what advice would you have for veterans who are looking to get into freelancing or start their own business, becoming an entrepreneur of their own business? What would you offer to them as advice, whether it's in terms of finding the work that they want to do, or first steps, whatever it is? What advice do you have for those people?  

Brett Currier  00:46:39    Well, I think there, it starts with a couple of different things. First off, you continuously build your own kind of personal board of advisors. It doesn't need to be anything official, but, finding the right mentors who are going to support your current goals, and those may be constantly ebbing and flowing out because who's a good mentor for you now may not be a good one for you a year, three years, five years in the future. So continuously working on building that council, your group of rabbis who can help you in your mission and you can keep in touch with them and everything too. I know I certainly keep in touch with folks who I no longer actively mentor, but they're on helping and helping others as well. I have those who kind of helped them in the past don't weekly or monthly go out for help anymore.  

Brett Currier   00:47:42     I still reach out to them and just grab lunch or talk and keep in touch and it helps keep their network strong. The second piece I would say is continuing to learn about resources out there available to you starting a business, whether you're doing it just as a freelancer and charging for your own time or whether you're selling widgets. It's a tough game. It's tough. It is really hard. It's a lot more work than a full-time job, but it's rewarding,  I really love it. It has given me an opportunity to put all of my skills and every bit of resources I have to helping others.  At the same time. And that's really rewarding, but I didn't do it alone. A big one for me has been the Texas Veterans Commission.  

Brett Currier    00:48:34    They help out veterans, not just in Texas, but it's like the VA of Texas really. And they have free management consultant services where they are huge in helping you form the idea of your business, coming up with a business plan, looking at financing options. They'll really help you every step of the way. And, have just been a really huge resource for me. They're also really helpful in understanding the many other resources out there for veteran business owners,  and just a huge network center. So, find out those resources available to you. Look at what's specifically available in your city, county, state, federally and grow from there. And continue to bounce things off of other people in your network too. Because one thing I had just learned,  earlier in 2021, when you're looking at government contracting, which isn't particularly my business, but I help out a lot of other veterans when they're looking at theirs, is that every different state, local federal agency will pretty much accept a different certifying body for service-disabled veteran status.  

Brett Currier   00:49:58    So if you want to, sell something or a service or product federally to the government, they may look for the VA certification, but if you want to sell it to the state of Wisconsin, maybe they use some private agency that verifies a service, disabled veteran status. So, it's not necessarily worth it just to go and immediately get it through the VA. If you only plan on selling through a state or a local agency who is going to want a different one, that's going to cost you $200, $500, whatever. But I wouldn't have known that if I hadn't talked to some other veterans in my network and they were like, Hey, be careful on this. Like, just as an FYI. I'm like, oh, okay, that's great. Now I know I'm going to tuck that in the back of my memory for next time, I help a veteran who wants to sell a product or service to the government. Learn the resource out there and it'll not just help you, but other veterans in your network. And, that just will continue to multiply its impact.  

Scott DeLuzio    00:51:00    Well, that's just like what you were talking about before with tying those strings together to make that net, right. You're taking that little bit of information, from that other person. Now that's in your network as well. And so now those strings got typed together and that just makes a more cohesive group of information that's out there to help out the people that, not only you're helping, but other people as you pass that information on you pass it onto me and all the listeners. Now, we have that information and now we can use that to help out other people as well, which is great. But  I wanted to, just go back to one of the things that you were talking about before, about how you notice the results of your work as a freelancer, but the effort that you put in and what you're getting back from the work that you put in, it's totally true, because as a freelancer, you have the ability to just not work for Paco, take a week off and go do whatever you want to go to the beach in the summer, or whatever.  

Scott DeLuzio    00:52:10    Go ahead. And you could do that. You don't have anyone that you're really going to be answering to unless you're in the middle of a project, obviously, you can't just walk away from that, but you can do that, but on the flip side, you're also not making any money at that time. So you start to notice the effort that you put in and what you're getting out of that effort, and it sort of fuels you to want to do more and get, get more involved because,  I remember, getting the first couple of paychecks coming in, not paychecks, but, getting paid by clients. But, I'm getting all this money for that much work. Okay. Well, let's see if I can if I can replicate that and do that again and again and again, just increase what I'm getting out of it.  

Scott DeLuzio     00:53:03    So funny that you mentioned your entrepreneurial journey and how you started off at a young age, but my kids started a little business where they were making these knitted hats and they are selling them to people in the local community. And they spent all summer and we live in Arizona, so it's but they spent all summer making these hats. And at the time in the back of their head, they're probably thinking, why are we even doing this? This doesn't make sense because who's going to buy these things? It's 110 degrees outside. No one wants a winter hat, but sometimes it actually gets pretty cold around here. And all the hats that they spent time making over the summer and they weren't making any money over the summer. Because obviously no one was buying hats back then, but just before Christmas.  

Scott DeLuzio    00:54:01    So the last couple of weeks, there's like a little craft vendor, fair kind of thing in our area. And they just about sold out of all the hats that they had made and they made a bunch of money and they were so happy. They were just like, I want to make more and where can we sell more? They said, dad, let's get a website for this. Let's do this. And so the fire was just ignited in them. And, and so I, that's, that's obviously a small scale because it's kids and the capacity that they have for making things. But they're learning that the effort that they put in to do the work is going to translate into dollars at some point. I think when you're a freelancer, you start to notice that as well. I just think it's just a great thing to experience. And once when you experience it, you kind of catch a bug and it's really hard to get rid of that bug.  

Brett Currier   00:55:04    It's so true. It's so true. And, it's really exciting when folks in the community start to see like they own their lifelong earning potential. And they're like, oh, wow, I will never have to go to somebody else and ask for a raise again. Like this is because I set my bill rate based on market rate. And that market-rate increases as I get a new certification or I just grow experience.  I remember when I started at Deloitte, I was working on a lot of sales work. I was telling you about what happens between the 40 or 50 hours a week, you're billable, and the 70 or 80 hours of work. You're working a lot of that with sales work. And I got insight into what the company was billing for my time and what I was making.  

Brett Currier   00:55:54    And of course,  you've got your benefits in there to your healthcare insurance, whatever. but still, it was just a several hundred dollars per hour discrepancy versus what I was making versus what was being billed, several hundred dollars per hour. And it was just shocking to me. Because as I grew in my experience, it was just exponentially more of my experience and certification and what they were able to bill for me. And, my pay would just kind of inch up.  and that's going to be with any employers. They're really only going to pay what they need to, to retain.  and it can still be a really great option for some people like if you really enjoy working as an employee,  that's fine, but, so many veterans are just interested in,  love the idea of working as a freelancer. They just don't quite know how to go about it or don't know how to get past some of those major pain points,  out there that come with freelancing. And, that's where we come in.  

Scott DeLuzio    00:57:03    Yeah. And, you're right, that freelancing is not for everybody. There are people who want the stability of that same paycheck coming in week after week and everything. And that way they can better plan and budget for their own expenses and all that kind of stuff. And  I totally get that because as a freelancer, it's sometimes a feast or famine where sometimes you're doing really great. And especially if you have a seasonal type thing that you're consulting for or whatever the work is that you're doing and it's seasonal.  Sometimes more fruitful over the summer months, for example, you may do great over the summer and then really be scraping by over the winter. And so you really do have to plan out and say, okay, I'm going to, I'm going to stock some of this money.  

Scott DeLuzio    00:58:05    The I'm not gonna blow it all right now, just because I'm getting paid a bunch right now, and you have to really learn how to manage your, your money too. So that way by the next season where, where you're, you're getting paid a lot more, you still have enough money to get by and not, and you don't want to just be getting by either you want to be growing your savings and, and thriving too. So, you don't want to be going out blowing all that money right off the bat, just because, because times are good right now because there will be some times that it dips down and it's, it's not as, as level as, as having a salary job or whatever.  

Brett Currier  00:58:48    Exactly. And that's actually exactly one of the reasons we tend to focus on those tech and professional services roles too, so there is that little more stability, while you still need to kind of run your own finances with it. The projects tend to be long-term, system implementations take years and consultants are generally on for the duration or a good portion of the duration of that project. It gives you an opportunity to at least forecast maybe a year at a time, or close to it.  

Scott DeLuzio   00:59:20    Yeah. And that worst case a few months you have an idea of what it's gonna look like. So that's a good thing about this type of work, and where,  other types of work where you might be freelancing, could be just so small one-off projects that maybe last for a couple of days or a week or two at most. And, then you don't know what's coming next. And so, that could be a scary time for some people, especially if they have families to take care of and other, major expenses, a mortgage and car payments, and all that kind of stuff that they have to deal with. You want to have a little more stability. So it's not the right thing for everybody, but  if you can make it work for you, it, it really  

Brett Currier    01:00:11    Is a great opportunity. And I've done it. I really enjoyed my time. There were some headaches like I mentioned earlier, but it sounds like you've worked out some of those kinks and made some of those headaches pretty manageable. So it seems like if you're considering this, if you want to control your own destiny and not be answering to somebody else, like a boss or whatever,  then this might be the way to go. So, I think this is a great thing that you have going here, and it's really a great opportunity for the veterans and their families, to really make a life-changing impact on their families and their lives. Ah, thanks so much, God, it's certainly, certainly our mission to do so. And, what keeps us driving on. 

Scott DeLuzio    01:01:12    Yeah, absolutely. So it's been a pleasure speaking with you, learning about VetGigs and everything that you're doing. Where can people go to find out more about VetGigs and get in touch with you?  

Brett Currier   01:01:23    It's been an honor being on God. I really appreciate your time today and the opportunity to share our mission and, and, our purpose here at VetGigs. To get more information or to sign up, create a free account on VetGigs. It is www.vetgigs.com that gates, and you can also find us on our social media. We are on Instagram, Facebook, or LinkedIn. So you can just search for vet gigs and we'll show up. But we really love to talk with you whether or not you're interested in freelancing, we're here to help,  just reach out,  platforms free to jump on, create an account. You, we don't charge anything, send proposals as well.  and you can actually reduce commission on work being built on vet gigs all the way down to 1%, by referring others onto the platform of helping share the word about VetGigs and, just helping us get the word out there because we have so many opportunities, really valuable, lucrative opportunities available for veterans.  We are just working on getting the word out since we just launched on October 21. but we've got really great, awesome employer partners, including, beyond academics, big tech company after act, pride industries and, and many, many, many more, including Fanon companies and our pipeline. So it's just a matter of getting the word out there to veterans and veterans spouses, or interested, taking advantage of some of these opportunities.  

Scott DeLuzio    01:02:58    Yeah, that's great. And I hope that we do help expand that reach for you by having this episode out there. But for the listeners, we'll have links to all of the social media and the website in the show notes. So you can check that out there and hopefully, you'll be able to find the type of work that brings that sense of purpose and meaning back into your life after the military service, through, through VetGigs, or just in the process that you go through to learn about what opportunities are out there and what a potential new education that you might need, hopefully, that helps point you in that right direction too. So, thank you again, Brett, it's been a pleasure speaking with you. It's been a great time, a great conversation with learning about VetGits and all the resources that are available out there. Again, this is just one more of those strings that gets tied together to help make that net. And I really do like that analogy. It really, really is. The way that I'm trying to work this year on, on this podcast is to bring together as many of these resources as possible and really help provide that safety net, for the veterans out there.  

Brett Currier   01:04:21    Awesome. Thanks so much, Scott. It's been a pleasure and,  look forward to speaking with you again in the future.  

Scott DeLuzio    01:04:29    Thanks for listening to the Drive On Podcast. If you want to check out more episodes or learn more about the show, you can visit our website driveonpodcast.com. We're also on Instagram, Facebook, Twitter, LinkedIn, and YouTube driveonpodcast.

]]> 01:04:53 <![CDATA[Vet With A Mic]]> Tue, 15 Feb 2022 08:00:00 +0000 Scott DeLuzio https://drive-on-podcast.castos.com/podcasts/2296/episodes/vet-with-a-mic Ryan is a Navy veteran and has since focused on studying psychology, and turned to podcasting to help veterans.

Links & Resources

Transcript

Scott DeLuzio   00:00:00    Thanks for tuning into the Drive On Podcast where we're focused on giving hope and strength to the entire military community, whether you're a veteran active duty guard, reserve, or a family member, this podcast we'll share inspirational stories and resources that are useful to you. I'm your host, Scott DeLuzio. And now let's get on with the show. Everybody. Welcome back to the Drive On Podcast. Today, my guest is Ryan from the Vet with a Mic podcast. Ryan is a Navy veteran and has since focused studying psychology and practicing psychology after getting out of the Navy. So welcome to the show, Ryan. Why don't you tell us a little bit about yourself and your background?  

Ryan    00:00:45    Well, yeah, I guess I should clarify one little thing. I did study clinical psychology at the university, I'm not a psychologist, so I don't practice psychology, just okay. It's more of a legal standard. You have to train to the doctoral level in order to be a psychologist. So I am not a psychologist just to kind of clear that up really quickly.  I spent five years in the United States Navy, the world's finest Navy. I bounced around a little bit, my time in the uniform. So I got a lot of experiences, saw a big chunk of the world. Not all of it. Still, some bucket list left to check, to check off there. But I really noticed that I didn't think that I could really make this a lifestyle for me forever.  

Ryan   00:01:39    So I separated in 2013 and much like most of us, I kind of floundered a bit for the first year. So whenever I got out, I had no idea really what was next. I had a plan. I thought I was going to be able to execute, but when you're trying to make plans at this point, I was in Italy trying to make plans in Tennessee. It's really difficult to navigate that transition from a thousand miles away or from several thousand miles away in my case. So I found that as I tried to navigate that space,  with my plan after the uniform, it just didn't really pan out for me. Luckily I had some family members that kind of stepped in on my behalf, so I didn't end up on the streets so to speak, but it was pretty close. It was a pretty rough transition for me.  

Ryan   00:02:32    But what I started to notice, after the uniform was, I just really felt alienated and disconnected from everybody. And I didn't understand why. I thought maybe it was because I had changed after the uniform. I wasn't really sure. So I eventually said, well, I've got to do something. I feel like I'm just spinning my wheels here. So I said, well, I tried my hand at college time or two before, might as well go back and see if there's anything that I can find interest, in that domain. So I went back for psychology courses and it was like, Hey, you know what? I really like this. I don't know what I'm going to be able to do with it, but I really liked this. So I finished a bachelor's degree in psychology, got some really cool opportunities to do some research with like projects like non-suicidal self-injury.  

Ryan    00:03:29    And I was like, wow, I think this is probably something that I would like to go a little further in. So I applied for grad school and did some more higher-level courses wit...

]]> full 150 false Ryan is a Navy veteran and has since focused on studying psychology, and turned to podcasting to help veterans.

Links & Resources

Transcript

Scott DeLuzio   00:00:00    Thanks for tuning into the Drive On Podcast where we're focused on giving hope and strength to the entire military community, whether you're a veteran active duty guard, reserve, or a family member, this podcast we'll share inspirational stories and resources that are useful to you. I'm your host, Scott DeLuzio. And now let's get on with the show. Everybody. Welcome back to the Drive On Podcast. Today, my guest is Ryan from the Vet with a Mic podcast. Ryan is a Navy veteran and has since focused studying psychology and practicing psychology after getting out of the Navy. So welcome to the show, Ryan. Why don't you tell us a little bit about yourself and your background?  

Ryan    00:00:45    Well, yeah, I guess I should clarify one little thing. I did study clinical psychology at the university, I'm not a psychologist, so I don't practice psychology, just okay. It's more of a legal standard. You have to train to the doctoral level in order to be a psychologist. So I am not a psychologist just to kind of clear that up really quickly.  I spent five years in the United States Navy, the world's finest Navy. I bounced around a little bit, my time in the uniform. So I got a lot of experiences, saw a big chunk of the world. Not all of it. Still, some bucket list left to check, to check off there. But I really noticed that I didn't think that I could really make this a lifestyle for me forever.  

Ryan   00:01:39    So I separated in 2013 and much like most of us, I kind of floundered a bit for the first year. So whenever I got out, I had no idea really what was next. I had a plan. I thought I was going to be able to execute, but when you're trying to make plans at this point, I was in Italy trying to make plans in Tennessee. It's really difficult to navigate that transition from a thousand miles away or from several thousand miles away in my case. So I found that as I tried to navigate that space,  with my plan after the uniform, it just didn't really pan out for me. Luckily I had some family members that kind of stepped in on my behalf, so I didn't end up on the streets so to speak, but it was pretty close. It was a pretty rough transition for me.  

Ryan   00:02:32    But what I started to notice, after the uniform was, I just really felt alienated and disconnected from everybody. And I didn't understand why. I thought maybe it was because I had changed after the uniform. I wasn't really sure. So I eventually said, well, I've got to do something. I feel like I'm just spinning my wheels here. So I said, well, I tried my hand at college time or two before, might as well go back and see if there's anything that I can find interest, in that domain. So I went back for psychology courses and it was like, Hey, you know what? I really like this. I don't know what I'm going to be able to do with it, but I really liked this. So I finished a bachelor's degree in psychology, got some really cool opportunities to do some research with like projects like non-suicidal self-injury.  

Ryan    00:03:29    And I was like, wow, I think this is probably something that I would like to go a little further in. So I applied for grad school and did some more higher-level courses within clinical psychology.  And then I did some more research specifically with the veterans and I went, there's a problem here. There's a huge problem. And I don't know how to solve it, but I can at least do something to address a part of it. And so that's where I kind of introduced the two domains, so to speak to each other, my time in the uniform and then clinical psychology training, I noticed that others were feeling just as disconnected and alienated from the civilian population as I was. And so that was, that was apparent within the clinical literature. There's just the same kind of statements that were being made from people that were being interviewed.  

Ryan   00:04:32    So I went well, there's something to this social support element here. I don't know what we'll do. We'll have to see exactly where this course kind of takes us. But social support was a huge part of our identity within the uniform. We don't call it comradery, right? But social support is a huge element. We rely on each other so much to just get through the daily tasks, but we also rely on each other a lot to help deal with the problems and the crisis that we have in our life every day. The buddies are going through a divorce. We go through the divorce with them, especially if you're in the uniform and you're overseas or your donor changes. That is your stressor too. It's not just theirs, because it can literally impact your life. So we suffer with each other in those regards. I've noticed that maybe this is something that's going on in life after the uniform. We don't have that same surrogate family that we did before. And often people reporting, not feeling as connected to social support elements that they had before the uniform. And so I went, well, what is going on here? Why would you feel disconnected from family members after the uniform?   

Scott DeLuzio     00:06:04    Yeah. It's a funny thing because I, through all the people that I've talked to on this podcast, the same theme that you're talking about here has come up several times, People just feel disconnected from family or from friends when they go back to their hometown or know people that they grew up with, They just feel that that disconnect. It's strange because, at one point, everyone,  whether you're actively serving or you're a veteran or whatever, all of us at one point or another were civilians- never associated with the military. And so we knew how to function as a civilian at one point or another, we knew how to interact with other people. We knew we knew all of this stuff now. So fast forward a few years, whether it's five years or 10 years or 20 or, or more. And now all of a sudden we are like a lost month and we have no idea how to find a way back home and find a way back into our place in society.  

Ryan   00:07:10    I think you and I talked about before we started recording.  I was on the morning formation with KP and he echoed the same kind of sentiment. And I said, well, look, you're from Connecticut, right. So are you from a big town or a little town?

Scott DeLuzio      00:07:28    Bigger town, but not, not a city. It's a bigger size.   

Ryan   00:07:34    So how many people did you graduate from high school with?  

Scott DeLuzio     00:07:36, I think in our class there were about four or 500 people.  

Ryan  00:07:45    Okay. So around the same size as mine. All right. So everybody, then I grew up with, pretty much has stayed in the same part of the world that they were born into. And that's completely normal. That's the norm. Right? But when you enter into the military, your life starts to really dramatically shift from everybody else's trajectory. And I say, I was from a small little town in east Tennessee.  I don't think I'd even had sushi before the military.  Not to say that there weren't sushi places there, I think, but it was just, I wasn't exposed to just everyday little things like that. So within the military, all of a sudden in the uniform, you are just thrust into all these different types of people and different experiences that they've all had different backgrounds. And then of course, like for me, I went from my small town in east Tennessee to just to the Chicago area for basic great lakes and from the Chicago area to San Antonio for a school and from San Antonio to San Diego, for some more training.  

Ryan   00:08:56    So on those just a few stops alone. I was never going to see east Tennessee the same way. How could you, right. I mean, I'd seen beautiful Latino women in California. Are you kidding me? I was never going to be able to go back to east Tennessee and not know that.  So, I think that just by the kind of experiences that we have, it shifts our perspective. It's a paradigm shift. We have a shift of worldview and just through exposure, it changes you. Now, obviously, if you spend any time overseas, that's like another magnitude of change that happens. And I think that's what happens to a lot of people in uniform. They just have so many different types of experiences that their peers that they had before the uniform, they can't relate to. I joke a lot about lessons and I'm not disparaging Panama City Beach at all, because Lord knows I've spent my time there, but that's where everybody goes to vacation for my east Tennessee town. Well, my last duty station was in Sicily. I laid out on a beach and you know, and Tara Amina, like it was a beautiful Sicilian beach. Panama city beach is never going to be the same to me.   

Ryan   00:10:13    It be? Right. There's just so many paradigm shifts that happened in the uniform. And so I think just on that surface level alone, goodness, how could you relate and connect to people who were so much more worldly after those experiences.  

Scott DeLuzio      00:10:29    Yeah, you are. And when you have people who have never left there, I can't say never left their hometown, but they live there. We call them townies.  They grew up there. They graduated high school there. They might've gone away to college for four years or something like that five years. And then they came back and they bought a house in the town that they grew up in and they raised their own family. . And so their worldview is kind of limited, maybe they only went an hour or two away to school. And so they were still coming home on the weekends to do laundry and to get a nice home-cooked meal for mom and. So that they're not, they're not getting too far out, You're talking about being in Italy on a beach and other places around the world that you've been to. And you just get such a different perspective on the world because it's a much bigger place than just your hometown, wherever that may be.  

Ryan    00:11:34    And yeah. And you're right. There is absolutely nothing wrong with that conventional wisdom there. That's a look that would have been me if I didn't join the uniform and would have been, but because I joined the informant, I had those experiences, it profoundly changed me. I'm not saying that they have limitations. If they had the same experiences, they would have adjusted just like you. And I did. It's just the exposure to different things changes you. And I think a lot of times we're not prepared for that. We truly aren't when we go from the uniform and we transition, then we try to go back to those conventional routes that all the people in our peer groups have stayed in. And they're just laying out the glitter isn't gold; it's just not the same to you. And  like I said, I appreciate that lifestyle of living the con conventional lifestyle, it's just a military lifestyle can't be compared to  

Scott DeLuzio      00:12:39    No, it can't. And I talked about this in another episode that I just recorded recently. And  I forgot exactly what I was talking to you now. But, even just small things, that certain people in certain parts of the country, we know when you go to basic training in another part of the country than where you grew up and you, you experienced certain things. I remember when I was in basic training at Fort Benning, Georgia, Georgia, there were people from the Northwest who had never seen fireflies or lightning, bugs, whatever you want to call them. And we were out camping out in the woods one night and they started seeing all these little lights flashing in and they were freaking the hell out. They didn't know where these things were coming. They didn't know what they were and they weren't, they were, they thought they were tripping or something. I don't know what, but they just had no clue. And that's a little thing, but there's so many things like that. So many experiences that you have in other cultures, other, other parts of the world, parts of the country that, that you, you just take away with you, and now you have this bigger worldview, picture that you're taking with you. So it definitely is different.  

Ryan    00:13:57    You go back to Kansas, man. I mean. Once you've seen Oz, man, it's just not the same. I think that within itself is alienating. You just have those types, and it's not an elitist thing. You can't un-see the parts of the world in which you experienced. You can't have those relationships that you make with people, even from different parts of the country. Though, those frames of reference, still stick with you. Like I remember the first time I heard somebody say five of, yo it was in basic training actually. And I had to, 'cause you're probably more familiar with this being from that part of the world. I had no idea what the hell he was talking about five, whoa, what are you talking about? And he was like, and he thought I was being sarcastic to him. He goes, what are you? You know what I'm talking about? It's five of Ryan, no idea what you mean.  

Scott DeLuzio      00:14:55    Yeah. And, to me that just never occurred to me, that's just something I would say normally, and that just is part of a vernacular, I guess, for other people, I guess.. You're right. When you come back, you definitely have a changed perspective and then add on top of just the normal military lifestyle. If you have deployed or have seen combat,  or things like that, where now your perspective is even more skewed because now you're probably more of a head-on the swivel kind of guy and  you're paying attention to all these things around you and you're maybe trying to figure out why isn't everyone else

Ryan   00:15:47    I remember my first leave from the desert. I was standing at a watering hole around my own town and I just got out of prison because  I understood that. I just say the posturing is the same. Constantly orienting to everything and the environment. Totally, you are looking, checking everything out. And so I make that joke a lot, comparing the military to the prison, but you're right. I remember God, it was that same leave period after my first break in the desert, in which the Navy does things a little differently for those who may not know,  because I hear this a lot from civilians, at least you didn't do anything dangerous. You were just in the Navy, but they left us there for a lot longer than most of the other branches, like my orders were for two years.  

Ryan   00:16:43    I was in mobile security and we were doing anti-terrorism and force protection taskings. So we would go up into Iraq or protect the oil terminals that are there. Or we would go do anti-piracy of the coast of Africa. And that was my reality for two years. So, that was a long time. I make the joke that my brain was baked in the sun after that long, but I remember coming back. And of course, when you're on base, you're lucky if you get like a wishbone and a craft ranch dressing. Right.  I was walking through a hometown grocery store and there were just 46 different types of ranch dressing. I remember feeling disgusted by it really.  There's so much that we have. And my view of the world had shifted after that because I had gone without, for so long. And I knew that the rest of the world doesn't live like that. So I felt like an alien in the culture. I didn't really feel American anymore, which was an odd thing to think about as a military member, I didn't feel American.  

Ryan    00:18:06    And I remember almost feeling a visceral kind of response to do people really need this many types of ranch dressing, like what happens when you don't get it? Are you just, is that going to mess up your day? They don't have your avocado ranch like this was, and I remember feeling pretty, like, angry about it. And I think that's just another magnitude. What changes you in the uniform? If this is what it's like to be in a nation where they don't speak your native tongue, what it's like to be the outsider, as soon as you understand what it's like to be the outsider, can't go back, man. When you're the outgroup, you can't go back.  

Scott DeLuzio      00:18:52    Yeah. But that's definitely true. You can't go back and I don't think you should either. Those experiences that you've taken away. They make you who you are. The type of person that you are. I think that that's true with everything, all the experiences that you have throughout your life, that you're the sum of those experiences. You can't take any of that stuff away. Unless you had a traumatic brain injury, then you can't remember certain things, but  all that stuff just adds on it makes you who you are. And some of the stuff that might make you feel like an outsider or some of the trauma that you might have experienced, makes you hopefully more resilient. In the long run. Some people, it may not, but hopefully, you can use those experiences to become more resilient.  

Ryan    00:19:54    I agree. And I guess what you're kind of circling there is post-traumatic growth, right? Because there's something about the military lifestyle on it's just on its surface. That is, I hate to use a trigger word like this, but it's trauma.  It's traumatic because you have to leave everything you've ever known and be okay with being away from it and never potentially seeing it again, up to that, that ultimate sacrifice. That kind of guts you and a lot of ways because you, no one really ever has to do that. Think about, at the time of this recording, it's December 30, we just had a holiday. 

Ryan    00:20:41    How many Christmases did you spend away from your family? How many people that are civilians could even fathom that? I'd be hard-pressed to know any because if they even have to, like, if they worked in retail and they have to work like that day, they really lose their mind over it. But that's our norm. And I think that the military lifestyle itself can be a stressor, maybe not traumatic. I mean, not to be dramatic, but it is a stressor unto itself that changes you in pretty profound ways because you're used to severing. So to speak, certain parts of yourself, or at least your subjective experience. Yeah,  

Scott DeLuzio    00:21:34    Yeah, definitely. For sure. So that's boarding a little bit here. So you got into studying psychology and when you initially started that, that was in the transition period where you thought you had a plan but didn't really have a plan and all that Murphy's law comes in and pokes its ugly head in and messes things up. When you decided to test the waters with psychology, was it your plan to start working with veterans or was it one of those things where you just kind of discovered some of the things that veterans were struggling with after you got into this?  

Ryan   00:22:24    Why I'm so glad you asked that? I guess the answer was hell no, I, because I knew our culture, our culture is pretty standoffish about talking about things that, make us feel vulnerable and talking about our feelings and our emotions. And, all of that kind of content really does make us, once bitten, twice shy and the culture within itself too. It has a reinforcing kind of principle to it because if there was ever somebody who said, Hey, I need to talk to somebody. Often the chain of command did not respond favorably to those kinds of requests. Often you would see somebody just get picked up out of the section or out of the workspace and put sorting mail or whatnot, where they could keep an eye on them. And once somebody saw somebody have that experience, there was just a chilling effect.  

Ryan    00:23:25    I mean, there was no way anybody else was going to step forward after that. And it looked like reprisal. I don't know if the chain of command realized that that was the tone of that, a move like that, but it was definitely what was communicated to us like, oh shit, don't say anything, man, just, I'm not going to say anything. So we just kind of had to like to eat it so to speak and not ever talk about it. Because as soon as you did, there was reprisal from your job. Now, something else that happens too is, and I'm glad you mentioned this specific part is confidentiality is something that happens within the military health sphere. Now confidentiality, in a nutshell, is your privileged communication, and that whatever is said within a therapy session stays within the therapy session with a few caveats. If you say something that makes the person believe that you are in danger, like you're a danger to yourself, well then they have to break confidentiality to make sure that you don't do that.  

Ryan   00:24:33    If they feel as if you have a credible threat against another person, they have to break confidentiality to protect that person's life. Or if they believe that a child or somebody else that's a protected class, if they believe that they're at risk, whether you're abusing the child or whatnot, they have to break confidentiality outside of those three things. And they're pretty solid. Three things like the clinician has to really have a good reason for breaking confidentiality. You're safe to talk about whatever you want to, but the problem is that the uniform has a different rule set for confidentiality than civilians do. So when you go to a military mental health provider, you may not know that the mission comes first. So if you say something that makes the person believe that the mission could be in jeopardy, they may have to break confidentiality.  

Ryan    00:25:31    And so once that happens, you feel betrayed, but there is a mispairing of the expectations for the situation. They give you that informed consent, which most people probably don't pay attention to as much as they should. They give you the parameters of what you can expect within the relationship, but people don't necessarily attend to those details as well. And so they're surprised when a military mental health provider has to talk to their chain of command about something that's said in therapy. Now they are often pretty limited in what they say to the chain of command, but just the notification sets the military member on edge. They know they feel betrayed. So that's number one, number two, the civilians.  You are the client in that interaction. So that ultimate fidelity lies with you. There is nothing besides there's three caveats in which a clinician would be justified in breaking confidentiality.  

Ryan    00:26:38    So I think a lot of times veterans bring this baggage into the mental health space, not knowing that, Hey, this was just a very specific thing that happened in the uniform because of the mission first orientation. That's not the same. There's not the same rules that apply within the civilian sector or even at the VA. So a lot of times I think guys and gals, they operate with the wrong expectations within mental health. And then that puts up a huge wall between their therapeutic alliance is what we call it. So to say all that, to say this, I knew all of those things about our military culture. I didn't want to weigh into that stuff, but then I had a negative experience myself with a provider and I thought, well now what do I do? Because I understand what it's like to be in uniform.  

Ryan   00:27:36    I understand these military cultural elements and if not me, then who, so that really changed my trajectory because this person worked for the VA. They were not prior service, but they didn't understand our military culture. They were not culturally competent as we say in the biz. And that really laid heavy on my heart because I went,  because at this point I was already being trained in these approaches. I know what's supposed to happen in this environment and she did not follow the protocols. But if I didn't know that I would think that that was completely normal. And I would have tried to put myself in the place of my buddies that if they were sitting there, they were just gone, yes, ma'am the hell with that? I'm never going back and they just wouldn't have ever sought services again. So I went, I got to do something to kind of demystify the mental health process, which is what we've talked about, confidentiality and how there's to make sure of your expectations.  

Ryan   00:28:47    But then also I wanted to act as a kind of a public health ambassador of sorts to, Hey, listen, this isn't a reason why your mental health clients that are prior service feel this way about this stuff. So maybe there's some onus that you can kind of take on here and make sure that you're doing the things necessary to culturally attend to your clients. And I think that both of those things are, are necessary that kind of the consultation to make sure that people are more culturally competent, as within mental health services and also letting the consumer know what they can expect and why, if you come into it with baggage, it's not going to be as fruitful for you as you would like. Yeah. I mean, that's some good insight. 

Scott DeLuzio    00:29:41    I like how you realize that if not me, then that kind of mindset where you could end up having some other person who liked your situation, who didn't understand the military lifestyle and things like that. And so by taking that on and saying maybe I do need to go this route. I think with your own military experiences,  you're able to leverage those in order to help out some of these other veterans and become that ambassador like you're saying to pave the way to help, help people get into the treatment that they need. Right.  

Ryan    00:30:28    In one of the previous episodes of my podcast, we talked about a natural grieving process that happens after the uniform, in which you almost have some contempt towards the military. You have contempt over anything that's military-affiliated. You just like, I don't want to be anywhere around that ever again. And it's funny, me and a buddy of mine were just talking about that earlier today about like the IRR stuff. And like just how much, how much contempt you have for having to go through that and like that they talked to you about, Hey, you want to come back in all that kind of stuff.  I think that was a part of it too, which guide, which kind of informed my decision within education. I was still in that grieving period. I didn't want to be anywhere on it.  

Ryan   00:31:18    I didn't want to have anything to do with it. But then once I started kind of integrating the military self and me after the uniform because it was almost like two separate entities that were kind of walking around in the same person. There was this is who I am now. And this is who I was. And I think that's where the veteran identity really starts to come into play. That's the integration of this was your military. So this is who you are now. And they don't have to be at odds with each other. You can absolutely blend those two parts of yourself and come up with something new. And I love talking to people like you because you were in the national guard, but you were downrange. And I love talking to people like you because a lot of the civilian population don't realize within the veteran identity, that it's a continuum that you can be a national guardsman and have deployments to Afghanistan, or you can be an infantry soldier and never leave the states.  

Ryan    00:32:29    It does not mean that just because you're in the national guard, that means you didn't do enough, or you didn't see you weren't in the real military. And it does not mean that just because you were trained to be a ranger, that you're going to automatically be engaged in combat all every day of your life. So, and of course all across there are all the different types of jobs that we have in the uniform. And while I think you and I are talking very lightly about this, only about 85, 80 5% of the uniform is in non-combat roles. 85% of people who serve the country are not going to be in a position where they carry a rifle every day for their job. So that leaves this 15% that are in combat roles and of the 15%, an even smaller percentage of those have combat experiences.  

Ryan    00:33:24    So what we're talking about here is a very small subset of the population that meets certain stereotypes and standards for that the civilian population walk around with. And I enjoy having conversations like this with people like you, who were of that National Guard and also deployed because it shines a light on it to people who are not aware of how different your experiences can be within the continuum of the veteran identity. Understanding that even from people who did serve helps us integrate this idea of the veteran identity as a continuum, you do not have to be a combat veteran who saw the shit to be a veteran. And you certainly don't have to step away from the veteran community because you didn't have this very small set of the population's experiences. Because when you do that, you lose a lot of social capital. The fact that you and I now know each other, everybody that I know, I know everybody that you know. If there's something that happens to you, you need help, for example, because in your day job, you're really tech-savvy, right?  

Ryan    00:34:46    You'd build websites. Now, if I needed somebody to do that, like, well, hell I could call up Scott and ask him a couple of questions that as soon as that happens, the stress of whatever demand that you're trying to navigate just immediately diminishes because you have somebody to go to that can help you navigate that demand. When veterans retreat from the veteran identity, they retreat from the people too. And the people are what really help you form this new cell after the uniform. And I think one of our biggest mistakes in life after the uniform is to retreat from the natural social capital that we all have available to us just by service. That's it? Cause we're only about seven to 8% of the entire US population has put the uniform on. So we are already elite. And so we need to utilize the resources, the people that are available to us.  

Scott DeLuzio    00:35:53    Yeah, we do. And when we have so many veterans who are out there who want to help each other out, yeah. They want to network and get to know other people so that the whole notion of selfless service continues. When you're in the military, you have that, obviously mission first and all that kind of stuff. That's why selfless service comes in. But, afterwards you have the ability to serve something bigger than yourself. And I feel like that's what you're doing with your podcast and what you do and what I'm doing with my podcast. And just really trying to help out people. I don't even have to know these people who might be tuning into the podcast. And to me, it doesn't matter whether I know them or not. I want to help if there's a way I can spread a message, the stuff that you're talking about today or any of the other guests that I've had on the podcast, any of their stories, any, any of the things I share, if I can help somebody by sharing these things,  then I think it's a great thing.  

Scott DeLuzio     00:37:11    There's tons of other ways that people are helping out veterans. The same idea is that they're out there and they're using those resources, those connections that they have, and they might find somebody who needs help with one thing or another. And, oh, you know what? I have this veteran buddy of mine who does that thing that you're looking for, let me, let me put you two in contact. And here you go. And now you have that, that weight lifted off your shoulders. And now you have that, that type of person who is going to take care of you because of that, that shared connection as veterans.

Ryan   00:37:56    So when we talk about social support, there's a couple of different types of social support that are rendered. There's team support, which is just the more empathic I'm here for you, buddy. Then there's informational support and saying that when you render support of either time, it's a reciprocal experience, meaning you get something out of it as the sender and the receiver gets something out of it as the receiver. So just kind of reworking how we frame that helping your brothers and sisters from the uniform is not only good for you but good for them. It's also good for you. And I'll use a metaphor about this topic quite often. So if anybody's heard it before, I apologize when you're on the side of the road and you have a flat tire now for the sake of this illustration, we're going to say, you don't know how to fix that tire, right? As soon as you have a few people that you can just immediately conjure up into your mind of somebody who will come help you, that stressor already becomes less threatening. Now, the person comes to help you. They render your aid and they show you how to change that tire. You never have to worry about that stressor ever again. So it's, it's something that is synergistic. It carries gains into the future.  

Ryan    00:39:36    When you utilize social support from your veteran identity, you do not know of the future gains in which you may be giving to a person. You have no idea. It may seem like a small act to you, like changing a tire. But if you make their life less threatening, moving into the future, you have made an impact in their life, more profound than you will know in that moment. It's something that you're absolutely going to make. It's gonna make you feel better. You're gonna feel like a better person, but also it's going to be something that they're going to be untold gains in that person's life. And guess what they pay it forward. Now, when somebody calls them to change a tire, they're that person for them, they show up, show them it's something that just has a profound effect across numerous interactions.  

Ryan   00:40:34    But we just don't know about it in the time I talk a lot about man's search for meaning and my podcast, which is a book that was written by Victor Frankl, who was a Holocaust survivor. This guy went through some terrible things. And there was, a couple basic tenants that he came up with from this experience, but in this pursuit for meaning, he said that you can find meaning in three ways. Contending with a worthwhile goal, basically just channeling your intellectual pursuits into something, but you can also find it in people, the social elements that we're talking about. And the third way was which ironically is, maybe not so ironic for some, but through creative pursuits to contend with like the artistic process that can be profoundly meaningful for people and meaningful for people. The thing about is that you're rarely going to find any interaction that doesn't use all three at once in some kind of way. Like we just talked about this podcasting thing.  

Ryan   00:41:46    It is a goal in which we are contending with, but we meet some awesome people. Here's some great stories and we help facilitate change in other people's lives. And then obviously it's an art form to this podcasting thing. I didn't realize how much of an art it was. It's an art form. So you kind of find them and they, they build upon each other. And you, when you go out looking for some new activity to do some new hobby that you're just trying to take some joy in the world for you often feel connected with whoever else does that too. So you can see that I won't bury the lead here. These are the ways in which how we transition life six or after the uniform successfully, we have to be integrated. We have to find new social networks to plug into.  

Ryan   00:42:40    And I think that the veteran identity is one of such tools in which you can use, but just getting out there and learning a new hobby or a new skill, you can also find people to connect with that about now it's not just, well the buddies from high school, I don't connect with anymore, but this welding class that I take, I really get along with those guys because we all know how hard welding is or what of an art form welding is. You see, that's, that's what we're kind of getting to. That's what makes life more tolerable after the uniform is connecting with people through activities that you do, you find enjoyable.  

Scott DeLuzio     00:43:26    So I totally agree with all of that, but I wanted to get into your podcast a little bit. We briefly mentioned that, throughout the episode a little bit here, and, I want to talk about how you got the idea for your podcast and what your goal for it is, and things like that. So, tell us a little bit about your podcast Vet with a Mic. 

Ryan   00:43:51    Well, you know, it's so cleverly named, I was just kind of one of those moments that I was trying to figure out what was going to be the next chapter of my life now here after academia. I knew that my clinical skills, I felt underutilized and, but I also knew that spending one hour at a time with somebody may be impactful to their life, but I can only be in that one geographical location with them for that hour at a time. And of course, there needs to be something that can be more time-effective. I need to be able to reach deeper than just one interaction at a time. So that's kind of where I came from. This idea of that with the mic is I wanted to do more public kind of interventions of sorts I wanted to put out psycho-education is what we biz so that I could make the most gains across my entire community, my entire veteran population.  

Ryan    00:45:05    I can speak to them wherever they are generally. And like I said, demystify this idea of the mental health process, because we come into it a lot of times thinking that we're just going to go to a session, it's going to fix me there. I'm going to be alright. They're going to heal me whenever I go there. Mental health works. And if you go there with that general orientation, you're going to be pretty disappointed. Because it's a lot of hard work and you're going to, it's going to take a lot of invested effort from you. And so I wanted to kind of just reframe people so that they knew that going in so that they could readjust their expectations for it. And they wouldn't feel so defeated when that didn't happen for them. It wasn't as easy or it wasn't the way that Hollywood portrays it.  

Ryan    00:45:56    So I wanted to do that and just speak to my veteran brothers and sisters out there as is, as generally as I could to just reframe those expectations about it. But then I also wanted to do this. I mean, there are so many people that talk about problems and I'm not, I kind of lean more for the positive psychology as well. Luck as you kind of talked about post-traumatic growth, that's a positive, psychological perspective. Not everything that comes after a traumatic event has to be negative. You can find some profound meaning as somebody would going through the Holocaust. And enduring that kind of suffering and letting the fire transform you coming through that process. So I wanted to also lift up the voices of people who were doing well after the uniform because there's just so much emphasis on the negative, which I understand it's evolutionarily sound to focus on the negative.  

Ryan    00:47:08    The negative is what hurts you, but I wanted to lift up models for people. Well, look, that guy's doing that and he's doing okay with it. Maybe I could do that too. And it just reframes and gets the mental aspect. The noodle is working on what are some creative ways to handle this navigational space. So that was kind of exactly where that with a Mike kind of evolved into was here's some psychological content, but also here's some people who are doing some really cool shit in the world after the uniform. You don't have to just think about the homelessness, the substance abuse, the suicide. There's a lot of people who are thriving too. And if you can take whatever is successful about them and apply it in your life, I promise you it'll work for you too, because we all have that veteran military culture that we're all plugging into. So that was about with a mic in a, in a nutshell, I guess.  

Scott DeLuzio     00:48:12    Yeah. And I think a lot of what you're talking about there is similar to what I'm trying to do with this podcast as well, and give voices to people who have overcome tragedies or bad situations in their lives and, and have that inspiring, story to tell where they have, they have implemented something in their life that somebody else can take away and say, even if it's just a small piece of it and say, okay, this is going to make my life better. And there's hope for me because someone else has done it. And before I heard this, maybe I thought I was all alone in whatever it was that I was dealing with. And now here I am listening to this other person, going through something very similar to what I've gone through. And maybe I can make this work. And you know, so we don't want people throwing in the towel and calling it quits because it's getting too hard. And they think that there's no way to solve the problems that they're going through. And just knowing that you're not alone, sometimes that could be enough to keep pushing through.  

Ryan    00:49:28    And to that point, that's one of the reasons why getting a diagnosis is so powerful because now it has a name and there are people who also have endured this thing, this name. And because before you have that idea, you're just thinking that these problems are only within you. And so you're the only one that's having to contend with them. But as soon as you hear, oh, that's what depression looks like. Oh, that's what PTSD is. Oh, that's what anxiety is. So now it has a name and I can talk about it because I've been able to now clearly identify it and explain what the hell is going on with me to other people. This is what I need. This is why I'm feeling anxious. This is my anxiety. This is what I need from you at that moment. Because now it's, it's given you some frame of reference.  

Ryan    00:50:23    Now you can't then use it as well. I'm doing this because of this particular diagnosis. That doesn't mean that it's limited to you and that limits you in any way, but it does help you put a frame to it off, this is what I'm going through. And you're right. A lot of times people think that they're the only ones that are feeling that way about feeling disconnected or feeling a bit estranged in life after the uniform. And as soon as they hear other people talk about it, they're like, oh shit, man. That's me too. Okay. All right. There's some relief that you feel just hearing two people talk about it in a similar fashion. You're okay. All right. It's not just me then. All right, cool. Yeah, I agree.  

Scott DeLuzio      00:51:13    But if you were to take a look back a year or two from now, a couple years from now, what is it that you hope people are going to be able to take away from your podcast? Where do you see it going? 

Ryan    00:51:25    I have some lofty goals for this. I really do. I hope that, and a couple of years from now, I won't be sitting in my living room doing it anymore, but, I really hope that it becomes something that's a part of a larger vision for me. I want this to be kind of the flagship for, a vision that is resource-driven, that people will be able to utilize a digital space under the vet with a mic kind of umbrella. And they will be able to connect with their fellow service members, but also spouses and just general information, helping them put veteran behaviors into context, so to speak, because that was a big thing that a lot of from my buddies, I answered those questions all the time and I'll get a phone call here, talk to my wife and  I'll spend an hour or so, just kind of explaining what the hell they're going through.  

Ryan    00:52:35    And that just takes a little bit of stress off of them. A little bit of pressure from them. Because the wife will be like, or the husbands that I've got them on, both ends. It just happened to be that most recently it was a wife that would say, oh, well, if he would've just been able to tell me that, and then I have to explain to him, well sometimes it's really hard for us to talk about these things. It's easier for me to talk about it because number one, it's not my problem. It's their problem. And so I have some emotional distance from it. And number two, I'm not worried about what you think about me, but he is definitely going to be worried about what you think about him. So it's just easier for me to put this information for you because I don't, I have no skin in the game, so to speak, this is your marriage online. So I wanted to kind of echo those kinds of sentiments to spouses out there who are married to prior service people that, Hey, you're also dealing with some pretty common themes to your marriage is not an isolation. It's not an island either. So these are some of the things that you can kind of just say are culturally relevant for all of us salty veterans out there. 

Scott DeLuzio    00:53:53    Well, Ryan, it's been a pleasure speaking with you today. I want to give you a chance to let people know where they can go to find more about your podcast, find out where they can subscribe to it and listen to it and follow you on social media and everything else that you might have out there.  

Ryan   00:54:12    Sure. Now I'm on all the social media platforms.  

Scott DeLuzio     00:54:17    I know what you mean. 

Ryan   00:54:19    I resisted it for so long, but I'm on the Twitter I'm on. I'm not gonna, I'm not going to sound too silly, but yeah, I guess the easiest way, I mean, obviously the podcast is delivered on all the major platforms, Spotify and Apple, and Amazon music. But you can find me on Instagram.  I guess the easiest thing about my Instagram handle is that's underscore talks the number four, the letter you can find me there and I'm pretty responsive. But if you want to find me on the Facebook page too, you can do that. And of course, it's just about Vet with a mic, it's a page. And of course, I monitor it. So unfortunately you'll probably end up having to talk to me if you reach off.  

Scott DeLuzio     00:55:06    Yeah, I know. I know what you mean, having to juggle all the social media stuff and, and run the podcast and everything else that you do. It's a lot of work,, I will definitely have links to all of this stuff, your, your podcast and the social media links all in the show notes. So, anyone who wants to follow you and subscribe, I'd definitely encourage you to go check out the podcast. Ryan and I are doing a little, joint, episode kind of thing where, where the crossover, that's the word I was looking for where we're doing one episode here on this podcast. And we're going to do another episode in, in a little bit on, on his podcast as well. So, definitely go check that episode out and all the other ones that he has had, he's had a lot of great guests so far.  

Scott DeLuzio     00:55:56    I see a lot of, a lot of more great guests coming in, in the future. I'm sure. So you won't be disappointed by subscribing and checking that out. Leave a rating and a review for the podcast while you're at it while you're subscribing, that always helps out.  While you're at it, leave for this podcast too.  If you're listening, we always appreciate those reviews. So, Ryan, again, it's been great speaking with you and I'm looking forward to continuing our conversation on your podcast.  

Ryan    00:56:30    It has been all mine, sir. Yes.  

Scott DeLuzio      00:56:34    All right. Thank you. Thanks for listening to the Drive On Podcast. If you want to check out more episodes or learn more about the show, you can visit our website driveonpodcast.com. We're also on Instagram, Facebook, Twitter, LinkedIn, and YouTube at Drive On Podcast. 

]]> 00:57:00 <![CDATA[Healthy and Sustainable Mindset]]> Thu, 10 Feb 2022 08:00:00 +0000 Scott DeLuzio https://drive-on-podcast.castos.com/podcasts/2296/episodes/healthy-and-sustainable-mindset Ashleigh Magee is currently serving in the Navy, and as a wellness life coach, she brings a holistic view of health and wellness to those she works with.

In this episode, we talk about her fitness journey, going from a swimmer to serving in the Navy, oftentimes with limited healthy meal choices, especially while deployed. Ashleigh offers tips and advice for those who are deployed and need to find time for achieving their own health and fitness goals.

Links & Resources

Transcript

Scott DeLuzio   00:00:00    Thanks for tuning in to the Drive On Podcast, where we're focused on giving hope and strength to the entire military community, whether you're a veteran, active duty, guard, reserve, or a family member, this podcast we'll share inspirational stories and resources that are useful to you. I'm your host, Scott DeLuzio. And now let's get on with the show. Welcome back to the Drive On Podcast. Today, my guest is Ashley Magee. Ashley is a Navy veteran and military spouse who encountered a lot of ups and downs in her health and wellness journey while in the military. Welcome to the show. Ashley, I want to get into your journey a little bit, but first, could you tell us a little bit about yourself and a little bit about who you are and your background?  

Ashleigh Magee   00:00:46    So minor correction, I'm actually still on active duty. So I have about another year left. I'm going to be transitioning out this next year.  I am still working active duty. I am an engineering duty officer in the Navy and then I'm also a health coach for women in the military community. That's kind of the actual love and dream that I have that I'm building up on the side as I get ready to transition out.  

Scott DeLuzio   00:01:18    Okay. Yeah. Sorry about that. I thought I had seen that you were a veteran, but that's no worry. That's okay. So we got that clarified. We talked a little bit about this journey that you had with your own health and wellness while you were serving, and you struggled with this. But your health and wellness, your weight, your fitness, all that kind of stuff is pretty important. Parts of being in the military. Depending on the job that you have, I mean, it could be a crucial part of what you're doing. The struggle that you had had to have affected you more than just your own physical health, your emotional health and your job satisfaction, your, your overall well-being. So what was that experience like for you? While you're going through that struggle?  

Ashleigh Magee   00:02:19     I think this is really common with a lot of people, especially once you get out of high school college. For me in high school, I was a competitive swimmer year-round. So I had my sport that kind of anchored me.  and then when I got to the Naval academy, that's where I did my undergrad. you suddenly don't have control over what you're eating. The PT regimen is not really great. And as a swimmer that suddenly was running a lot. I actually got stress fractures, I ended up injured,  and that kind of started a snowball effect. So my whole time throughout the academy,  it was a struggle. I am not a runner, so passing that PRT was not fun for me. And you wrap up a lot of your self-worth into your way and your ability to perform.  

Ashleigh Magee   00:03:21    And even then doing amazing on my physical readiness tests I'...

]]> full 149 false Ashleigh Magee is currently serving in the Navy, and as a wellness life coach, she brings a holistic view of health and wellness to those she works with.

In this episode, we talk about her fitness journey, going from a swimmer to serving in the Navy, oftentimes with limited healthy meal choices, especially while deployed. Ashleigh offers tips and advice for those who are deployed and need to find time for achieving their own health and fitness goals.

Links & Resources

Transcript

Scott DeLuzio   00:00:00    Thanks for tuning in to the Drive On Podcast, where we're focused on giving hope and strength to the entire military community, whether you're a veteran, active duty, guard, reserve, or a family member, this podcast we'll share inspirational stories and resources that are useful to you. I'm your host, Scott DeLuzio. And now let's get on with the show. Welcome back to the Drive On Podcast. Today, my guest is Ashley Magee. Ashley is a Navy veteran and military spouse who encountered a lot of ups and downs in her health and wellness journey while in the military. Welcome to the show. Ashley, I want to get into your journey a little bit, but first, could you tell us a little bit about yourself and a little bit about who you are and your background?  

Ashleigh Magee   00:00:46    So minor correction, I'm actually still on active duty. So I have about another year left. I'm going to be transitioning out this next year.  I am still working active duty. I am an engineering duty officer in the Navy and then I'm also a health coach for women in the military community. That's kind of the actual love and dream that I have that I'm building up on the side as I get ready to transition out.  

Scott DeLuzio   00:01:18    Okay. Yeah. Sorry about that. I thought I had seen that you were a veteran, but that's no worry. That's okay. So we got that clarified. We talked a little bit about this journey that you had with your own health and wellness while you were serving, and you struggled with this. But your health and wellness, your weight, your fitness, all that kind of stuff is pretty important. Parts of being in the military. Depending on the job that you have, I mean, it could be a crucial part of what you're doing. The struggle that you had had to have affected you more than just your own physical health, your emotional health and your job satisfaction, your, your overall well-being. So what was that experience like for you? While you're going through that struggle?  

Ashleigh Magee   00:02:19     I think this is really common with a lot of people, especially once you get out of high school college. For me in high school, I was a competitive swimmer year-round. So I had my sport that kind of anchored me.  and then when I got to the Naval academy, that's where I did my undergrad. you suddenly don't have control over what you're eating. The PT regimen is not really great. And as a swimmer that suddenly was running a lot. I actually got stress fractures, I ended up injured,  and that kind of started a snowball effect. So my whole time throughout the academy,  it was a struggle. I am not a runner, so passing that PRT was not fun for me. And you wrap up a lot of your self-worth into your way and your ability to perform.  

Ashleigh Magee   00:03:21    And even then doing amazing on my physical readiness tests I'm passing them, but I didn't like icing them.  That took me out of the running for some opportunities, even while I was there some internship and things like that because it factored over into your overall military performance. I made it through graduation. And my first tour was, on a ship out of Hawaii. And I was so excited to be in the Navy,  so excited to be hitting the fleet. Really bright-eyed, bushy-tailed, ready to go. And my job, I was an engineering Devo.  I'm working a lot of long weekends, and it took about six months for everything to kind of catch up with me.  Because again, I still hadn't really learned how to take care of myself in the Navy setting.  

Ashleigh Magee    00:04:26    I didn't have a lot of time, which is the first excuse that all of us give. My job was really starting to weigh on me. So physical health wasn't great,  PRT standards. Well, now I was allowed to swim in it. So I was fine, from a fitness perspective from the weigh-ins. But my overall health was declining to the point that I actually struggled, started struggling with depression, and I'm trying to put on a good face for work, but I was leaving the ship every night and just crying in my car.  I don't know how familiar you are with Hawaii, but I used to drive home at because I lived on the Windward side and thought to myself, ``What if I just went over the guardrail?" And that was kind of the point for me,  okay, we need to change something here because what, what I'm doing now is, is not good. It's not working and it's not going to sustain me.  

Scott DeLuzio   00:05:43    Right. And, so you had that, that rock bottom moment, right? Where you are starting to feel, well, maybe it would be a better option to just drive off the cliff and just be done with that. Right. So what did you do, that was kind of the moment that you realize, okay, something needs to change, but what did you end up doing to make that change? What, what was the first step that you took?  

Ashleigh Magee    00:06:14    Yeah, I, for me, it was kind of letting go of trying to do everything perfectly. And again, limited time, limited resources, limited energy. So what can I do? I started making workouts non-negotiable but making only 30 minutes or so because I'd been taught for years. That if it was under an hour, didn't count, well, that's not actually true. When I was in port really trying to focus, I wasn't even eating healthier food yet, but I was limiting serving sizes of things that I knew weren't necessarily beneficial for my body. Most people think that they have to do all of these huge changes all at once, but that's how you stay in this diet cycle, all or nothing.  and that's where I lived for years. And so when I finally, okay, I'm just going to have to take this one little piece at a time and build up over time. That's when I started actually creating habits that were a little bit more sustainable and that I could make work, even when I deployed,  

Scott DeLuzio   00:07:36    Well, two things that I noticed or that I thought about while you were talking there first is swimmers tend to have a pretty intense diet where they are burning a lot of calories. So they're eating a lot of calories, typically, at least on the higher, more competitive levels. And so if that's how you were used to eating, and then all of a sudden, you're no longer burning that many calories during swimming and everything, and you're continuing to eat that way. You're going to just naturally gain weight and have all of those issues that are associated with that, and so I think that with the change in the lifestyle, there needed to be that, that change in the diet or you needed to figure out a way to get back in the pool and burn all those calories again.  

Scott DeLuzio    00:08:36    But, like you said, time is limited and that becomes an excuse. And that's I'm guilty of that too. I sleep in a little bit later than I should have and, oh, well, I got to start working in a little while and I don't have time for the exercise I was going to normally do. And so I just scrap for the day and I decide not to do it where I could have maybe fit in a half-hour jog or something like that just to, just to do something. But, sometimes I just scrap it and choose a lazy route. That's not always the best option, but, the other thing that came across my mind while you were talking, is the book Atomic Habits.  

Scott DeLuzio   00:09:17    And that's exactly what you're talking about. And, in the book for anyone who's listening, who isn't familiar with that book and that mindset is that you don't need to make these huge sweeping changes in your life to make them make an impact in your life. When you have small incremental changes, you're more likely to stick with those changes versus, going in and just saying, okay, I'm going to exercise four hours a day. I've never, I've been sitting on the couch for the last six years. I've never done anything. And now I'm going to just get up and I'm going to, I'm going to go out and exercise like crazy. You're probably, you're probably going to do it for a day or two, but then you're probably going to quit because this sucks.  

Scott DeLuzio   00:10:06    This is hard or injures yourself. Right. And then you're going to be sidelined because of the injury. You shouldn't push it through an injury, but you're going to end up having more problems and that's just not right either. And then that'll put you off even more and you're not going to end up making those improvements in your own fitness. But it's the same thing with anything in life: really small little changes will get you there a whole lot better.  

Ashleigh Magee   00:10:35    Well, I love that you brought up Atomic Habits because when I read that book, oh, this gives language to things that I haven't been practicing and teaching for a while. And in my program today, I talk about the four laws of habit change. Because again, it's really powerful and you can apply it to any aspect of your life, not just health and wellness.  

Scott DeLuzio   00:11:01    Yeah, for sure. I mean, if there's something that you want to start doing more of, or doing less of, a bad habit that you have. You work the opposite way too. Maybe you're a smoker or a drinker or something, and you want to reduce how much you're doing that. You can do those small incremental changes until you eventually get down to nothing or to the desired level or whatever it is that you're looking for. So I mean, all of that is really good. And is that kind of the core of your teaching method is to kind of focus on those, those small changes? Or is there something, some other magic sauce that you use in your work?  

Ashleigh Magee   00:11:47    Yeah, that's definitely a core component. But my coaching is based around what I call the four pillars of health which are very simple. It's food, fitness, sleep, and mindset. It sounds simple, but people don't implement it. Most people are focusing on maybe one to two pillars, typically food and or fitness. Right. But if you picture a roof on, on these pillars, right, you only have two, you have a wobbly roof. It's falling off. It's not a good time. And so I focus on helping people create sustainable habits, right? So that's where the atomic habit piece comes in in each of those four pillars. So they can get out of the diet cycle, get out of this it's recording this around new years, right? Get out of that perpetual," I'm going to have the same new year's resolution to lose 20 pounds every single year". Right?  And actually learn how to make healthy living a lifestyle, not something that you have to constantly be thinking about, worrying about keeping you up at night,  

Scott DeLuzio    00:12:58    Right. And New Year's resolutions when people set those New Year's resolutions, I forget what the exact number is, but the vast majority of them- they fail by mid-February and it's almost not even worth doing. 

Ashleigh Magee   00:13:16    Anyone that regularly goes to a gym. Okay, January, this is going to suck for about a month and a half. And then it's going to clear out again, which as a coach that's not what I want for you. But as someone that wants to go on the weight rack, it happens. It's a reality,  

Scott DeLuzio   00:13:35    Right? It is. It is. And I was talking with my wife about joining a gym the other day. And I was well, maybe I'll wait a month or two and, and wait for this whole New Year's crowd to die down before  I just go in and not be able to find any weights or machines or anything to use. So the whole fitness journey could be overwhelming to some people. But if you're not looking at it from those small incremental improvements, it could be overwhelming and you might feel stuck because you're not seeing the improvements or the weight loss or whatever it is that your goal is. You're not seeing the progress towards that goal right away. So what are some steps that people can take to work towards improving their overall health?  

Ashleigh Magee   00:14:32    Yeah. I love that you asked this, and my first piece of advice is to throw your scale out your freaking window. I say this as someone who likes a big part of my business, is helping military women pass their weigh-ins.  I understand that the scale is going to be a part of your life, but if you are weighing yourself daily or weekly. That's actually a really good way to demotivate yourself, get frustrated, and quit. If you must once a month, if you must, but really throw it out the window. So that's the first piece. And it comes back to a motivation piece, but, when it comes to really just those small things that you can immediately improve your health, there are some, there's a couple of things that are relatively simple to do that are quick wins, and have major impacts.  

Ashleigh Magee  00:15:34    So again, I base everything around pillars. So go into the food pillar, focusing on non-processed whole foods. Clean eating, because what it ultimately does is lowers inflammation in your body. And what a lot of people don't realize, especially in the calories in, calories out diet culture that we have is not all calories are created equal. And if your body isn't using food as fuel, it's basically a toxin that is stopping you from achieving the results you want. So that's actually why I have a clean eating challenge, just free on my website for people to start walking through that, because it's one of the biggest ways that you can make some small changes and see major impact, and it will improve everything else. It will improve your energy levels, how well you're sleeping, how well your brain functions, all of these things.  

Ashleigh Magee   00:16:38    So that's one. The second one is daily movement, not exercise but movement. And for people who have an apple watch.  It's nice, the rings break it down for you. There's a difference between movement, exercise, and standing. and so even if you don't get that workout in because you slept in a little bit later, can you take a 20-minute walk? Can you get some yoga and stretch something restorative, learn to be in tune with your body, and think about, okay, what is some, what is one thing I can do today that is beneficial for my body?  

Scott DeLuzio    00:17:15    Those are, again, they're simple steps to do. And I like that you have that clean eating challenge because I think some people probably aren't necessarily sure what the right things to eat are. I mean, we all know each are fruits and vegetables and that kind of stuff. And they had the whole food pyramid back when, when I was younger and I don't know what it is now, they changed that.  

Ashleigh Magee    00:17:41    It's still not, I mean, they changed it, but it's still not actually good. And it's basically funded by lobbyists.  

Scott DeLuzio    00:17:49    Right. Right. And it's, it's not ideal for what you want to actually be eating, but so what, what are some of the steps that you could take in this clean eating challenge to get yourself eating better foods and the right kind of foods for your health?  

Ashleigh Magee   00:18:11    So one of my favorite tricks that I love. I learned this actually from my, my registered dietician. So within my business, I contract to a registered dietician since I don't hold that certification. I don't hold that expertise. I want to provide that to my clients and a big myth when it comes to clean eating is that it has to be expensive. In the military community too, we don't necessarily have huge incomes. When you're looking at trying to get more of your vegetables in, for example, don't be afraid of implementing frozen veggies. They're typically relatively inexpensive and you can sneak them into a lot of stuff. One of my favorites is frozen spinach. You can put it in pasta sauce, there's just, there's a lot of waste to do that.  

Ashleigh Magee    00:19:11    I pretty much always have a bag of frozen cauliflower rice in my freezer. What am I going to make as a side tonight? I know I'll season that up. It makes it really easy to create more of that balance. So that's like one of the biggest ones,  when you're looking at food limiting, how many steps have been taken between it coming from nature and you consuming it? Because sometimes it's like, what does processed even mean? But if someone had to put chemicals in it, do something to it, it's processing.  That's why fruits and vegetables it's easy. But you also want to be looking at the quality of your meats. So meat that comes from your normal, industrial, conventional feedlots is actually not going to be very beneficial for your body. That is one place where you do want to splurge a little, on quality.  It does matter  

Scott DeLuzio    00:20:30    Well. And, and more, in addition to the health benefits of it being better for you, it often tastes better to splurge a little bit more on that type of stuff. I know, my wife and I found a local farm that had the fresh, fresh-cut beef and all that other stuff that they offered. And it was so much better. It was like the restaurant run quality, better than restaurant quality meat that you're getting from these places. And it wasn't that much more expensive than what you would get in a grocery store or whatever. So, it does make a big difference and we try to stop by there as often as we can and pick up that kind of stuff. So when you're talking about finding the right kind of foods and in everything I know, especially when deployed, when I was deployed to Afghanistan, it wasn't always easy to take care of my health and fitness.  

Scott DeLuzio   00:21:37    We were working 12-hour shifts, always doing some sort of mission or,  some sort of security or we're doing something constantly. We had a small gym on the base, which was good for workouts, but, but our meals were often pretty small portions and not always the best food, with the stuff that just the way they have to ship it to those remote basis. It's not always the most fresh fruits and vegetables and all that kind of stuff. That stuff is just hard to come by, to begin with. I even had my family ship food out to us because we were just starving. We're hungry. But like you were talking about a lot of that stuff was the packaged foods, the processed, not, definitely not fresh food for fruits and vegetables that wouldn't have lasted too long in the mail. So how can people who are deployed, how can they work on their health and their fitness and, and keep up on that while, while they're there in a remote area.

Ashleigh Magee   00:22:48    That is the question that not enough people are asking. One that I love to talk about. So the first piece is don't be afraid to supplement. and this is where I kind of rail against again, the traditional health and wellness industry, because they give you all this advice. Oh, eat your vegetables and get eight hours of sleep. And you're like, Hey, I'm on deployment. That's not frigging happening. So what do I do now? How do I achieve maybe not optimum health, but at least decent health while on deployment supplements are key. There's so much good stuff now. Like you can get superfoods in a powder it's glorious, but that was one of the key things I learned on my first deployment. I found a protein powder company that had a lot of acids and micronutrients in it.  

Ashleigh Magee    00:23:47   Especially when you get to the point where you're in the middle of the Gulf and you don't have anything green anymore, like, okay, well I'll have a shake. And I know at least I've done something beneficial for my body today. Right. So supplementation is, I think, a non-negotiable if you're when you're looking at deploying and, and having in balancing that out. Also with that, like having a plan for, I'm gonna say cleaner caffeine consumption.  I don't know about you Scott, but, let's see, first deployment got addicted to Kickstart energy drinks, second deployment, and got addicted to Diet Coke. Do I drink either of those now? No, I do not. And partially because I don't drink coffee, but finding ways that are, that can give you your caffeine kick, that aren't chock-full of chemicals, iis really important.  

Scott DeLuzio   00:24:55    So when I was in Afghanistan,  in addition to all the snacks and other food that my family sent, I had my wife send me a coffee pot and Dunkin donuts coffee, the sugar packets and the powdered creamer and everything. I had to send all of that stuff to me because I drank coffee all the time back then. And that was, that was my caffeine, but we had the Monsters drinks  

Scott DeLuzio    00:25:24    Red bull and everything else that we poured into ourselves because sometimes we're working through the night and. We're trying to keep ourselves awake and that's just one way of doing it. And at the time you're not really thinking about yourself, your health and what impact is this having on my body, and what chemicals are in this? You just care if this is going to keep me awake and alert so that I don't die from some sort of attack or whatever. I definitely see where you're coming from. It's not an easy thing to do on a deployment but if you're paying attention to it and you're trying to figure that out it might be something that's doable  

Ashleigh Magee   00:26:11    Plan ahead, try to time it as much as possible. And obviously like my deployments were on ships, so I was able to carry quite a bit onboard. And then,  Amazon was relatively reliable, underway when we got our raises. And, but one thing too, I wanted to mention, and I wish I had this tool, like the skillset,  when I was still deploying, I was something I didn't discover until afterwards, but with sleep. You may not get sleep. Sometimes it's just part of the job. It's part of the nature of it. Meditation as a supplement to sleep is a game-changer. So personally,  and I know this sounds so crazy, but it's legit. I promise. But personally, I practice transcendental meditation and in 20 minutes you are actually getting some of the benefits of deep sleep.  I would take like 10-minute floor naps. I had a floor pillow and everything. In some doing that like now I would think, oh my gosh, I just meditate for 20 minutes and you can actually get some of that restorative benefit, more so than you may be able to with a power nap if you're able to fit one in.  

Scott DeLuzio    00:27:42    Okay, well, that's, that's another way of, of doing that. I haven't even considered that as an alternative, sleep is definitely a factor. When you're on deployment, you just might not get to sleep some nights, even, the job just might be taking you all night long, and next morning, you still have to go back to going and doing whatever else you were planning on doing. And so, it can definitely be hard to come by. I know there was one night where we were supposed to be out on a mission until I don't know, eight or nine o'clock at night, and we ended up not coming back until around six in the morning or so. And then we had to turn around and go back out a few hours later and sleep was just not going to happen that day.  

Scott DeLuzio    00:28:40    We had other stuff that we had to clean, take care of and maintain. And so we just didn't go to sleep back then that day. And, there were other days like that, where it just became an almost 24 plus hour day, and you don't go to sleep. So being able to do something like that, meditate and, and get some of those benefits of, of sleep: to refresh and restore yourself to be more alert and awake when you need to be is probably pretty important. It's definitely worth the 15, 20 minutes or so of doing, just to get that benefit, out of the way, when, especially when you're not going to have time for a full power nap or a good deep sleep anyways.  

Ashleigh Magee    00:29:28    Yeah, absolutely. 

Scott DeLuzio    00:29:30    So, tell us a little bit about what it is that you do on the coaching side and how you help people with their own fitness and everything.  

Ashleigh Magee   00:29:43. So, as I mentioned, I basically help people create those habits and in each of the four pillars, where the coaching side of it really comes in.  I am a certified wellness life coach. And the biggest piece that we dig into is the mindset piece, which again, people talk about mindset as like this arbitrary thing that we should all aspire to having a good mindset, positive mindset, whatever that means. But we have so many stories that we tell ourselves about our bodies, about our worthiness, about food. When you start digging into this work and you realize.  I remember once I had a client with, and this is actually the first time I'd ever talked to her and she was telling me that she was struggling with kind of following through getting motivated.  

Ashleigh Magee    00:30:44    I asked a few powerful questions as a coach.  Well, no, she actually has a really terrible relationship with food and was bullied in high school for her body. And she's carried that into her thirties. Unpacking kind of what the story is that they're telling themselves, and then moving forward to, to healing that and to being that person that you want to show up as, confident uniform or for my events. A lot of the clients say I let myself go when I got out and now I don't feel like I'm representing the veteran community well. So digging into that, okay. But even if you're not where you're at right now, first of all, health is a journey. It's not like a finish line. We're, we're all in the process constantly.  You're still worthy of love and respect. And when you figure out how to do that for yourself, how to treat yourself like, and believe it, that you are worthy of those things, it's a lot easier to follow through with actions that back up that identity. You are worthy of yourself, kind of going back to atomic habits.  Your actions are in alignment with your identity. And so if you need to change your actions, you need to craft a new identity of what you want to be and how you want to show up as  

Scott DeLuzio    00:32:19    Right. You're not going to have a lean muscular fit physique. If your boss of yourself is this couch potato who sits around and eats potato chips and binges on Netflix shows all day, instead of getting your butt off the couch and going and doing something totally.  

Ashleigh Magee    00:32:44    And if, even if you do, commit to something, lose the weight you want to lose. If you haven't done that inner work you're still going to have something in the back of your head that's going to sabotage. And if it doesn't show up in your health, it will show up somewhere else in your life. Usually, relationships are like the next place. It goes if it doesn't show up in your health.  

Scott DeLuzio    00:33:07    Yeah. For sure that that definitely will take place as well with your relationships, with your spouse, or other people in your life. Whoever it happens to be that those things will trickle down into those relationships as well. And I don't think you want that happening. So,  well, Ashley, it's been a pleasure speaking with you today. Where can people go to get in touch with you and find out more about your coaching and the clean eating challenge and everything else? 

Ashleigh Magee    00:33:42    The one-stop-shop for everything is my website.  Ashley mcgee.com. Very easy to remember, as long as you can spell my name correctly, which is A S H L E I G H M A G E E., Ashleymagee.com/cleaneatingchallenge is where you can get enrolled in that clean eating challenge. I have a weekly podcast as well, the healthy woman warriors podcast, a Facebook group by the same name. And that's really for women in the military community that wants to improve their health and wellness. That's where I show up the most. I am on Instagram and, the things, but as far as where I'm the most, you that Facebook group, the podcast, and then, I have several freebies on my website and also have all of my coaching on there. So folks want more information and I'm always open to, a DM just say, Hey, interested in what you, what you do. Like tell me more, because if I'm not the right fit for you or, I'll point you to someone that is  

Scott DeLuzio   00:34:57    Well, that's excellent. I'll have links to your website and social media, the Facebook group, your podcasts, all of that stuff in the show notes. So anyone who's looking to get in touch with you don't have to worry about spelling your name. It'll be spelled correctly for you and everything will be in there. so you can check all that stuff out, but again, thank you for joining me and sharing a little bit about your journey and what it is that you do, really happy to have you on. And I'm glad you came on, to share.  

Ashleigh Magee   00:35:28    Thank you so much for having me on, I really appreciate it. This was a super fun conversation, and I can clearly nerd out about health for a long time.  

Scott DeLuzio    00:35:37    Well, maybe, maybe we'll have you back on it, another time. And we, we can, we can go a little bit deeper in some of these topics as well and, and nerd out big time that so we'd love to all right,  

Scott DeLuzio   00:35:53    Thanks for listening to the Drive On Podcast. If you want to check out more episodes or learn more about the show, you can visit our website driveonpodcast.com. We're also on Instagram, Facebook, Twitter, LinkedIn, and YouTube at driveonpodcast.

]]> 00:36:17 <![CDATA[Drive Your Dreams]]> Tue, 08 Feb 2022 08:07:00 +0000 Scott DeLuzio https://drive-on-podcast.castos.com/podcasts/2296/episodes/drive-your-dreams William Hollingworth is an Army veteran. He and his wife are the authors of the book All 48: Drive Your Dreams, which is the story of how they started off as struggling young parents and overcame those obstacles. They now use their book to reach other people wanting to pursue their goals.

Links & Resources

Transcript

Scott DeLuzio    00:00:00    Thanks for tuning into the Drive On Podcast, where we're focused on giving hope and strength to the entire military community. Whether you're a veteran, active duty, guard, reserve, or family member, this podcast will share inspirational stories and resources that are useful to you. I'm your host, Scott DeLuzio. And now let's get on with the show. Everybody, today my guest is William Hollingsworth. William is an army veteran and he and his wife, Jessica are the authors of the book All 48 Drive Your Dreams, which is a story of how they started off as a struggle. As struggling young parents and overcame the obstacles that came along with that. They now use their book to reach other people, wanting to pursue their goals and their dreams. So welcome to the show, William, why don't you tell us a little bit about yourself and your background.  

William Hollingworth    00:00:54    Hey, thank you very much, Scott. I appreciate being here. It's an honor for me. So essentially our story is a I always feel a little corny saying it, but it's a self-help and somewhat inspirational guide story where we started off as teen parents, only 16 years old facing bringing a child into the world, trying to just struggle to make ends meet and finish high school. From there. I ended up joining the military, the United States Army as a medic from 2012 to 2016. I deployed, from 2014 to 2015, got out with, as everyone does with a plan of how I'm going to kick ass once, once my term's over and no one's telling me what to do anymore. And, when I got out, I found myself in a kind of a stagnant place in life.  

William Hollingworth   00:01:45    I think a lot of veterans face that you're using your GI bill to go to school, but you just, things aren't as the past, not as clear as you think they are. And, I ended up kind of where most people do where you look around. You're like, nothing's really going on for me. This is kind of where the stagnant place gave me an opportunity to try launch change. My wife started traveling, Just a low-budget road trip. We didn't know what we were doing. We didn't have any kind of guide. We didn't have anyone really lean on for it. And, next thing we know we're making these long drives,  from Texas where we live San Antonio all the way down to California and coming back and we do this one journey and realize it's changed us.  

William Hollingworth    00:02:33    And it's something kind of neat. And this was the stepping stone to kind of getting my life on a whole new path, literally and figuratively, where we started doing these long road trips, and seeing the world, and experiencing different cultures. And it compounded into something that helped lead us towards success and lead us towards having a,  just a better drive for life and a bigger goal. From there.  I ended up finishing two degrees. Push forward in gaining better positions, traveling internationally at the end of it, none of it was ever with the intention to write a book or, or market anything. It ended up being just part of our identity and something bigger. And now we have a mission after we drove the entire 48 connected states and traveled internationally a little bit.  

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Scott DeLuzio    00:00:00    Thanks for tuning into the Drive On Podcast, where we're focused on giving hope and strength to the entire military community. Whether you're a veteran, active duty, guard, reserve, or family member, this podcast will share inspirational stories and resources that are useful to you. I'm your host, Scott DeLuzio. And now let's get on with the show. Everybody, today my guest is William Hollingsworth. William is an army veteran and he and his wife, Jessica are the authors of the book All 48 Drive Your Dreams, which is a story of how they started off as a struggle. As struggling young parents and overcame the obstacles that came along with that. They now use their book to reach other people, wanting to pursue their goals and their dreams. So welcome to the show, William, why don't you tell us a little bit about yourself and your background.  

William Hollingworth    00:00:54    Hey, thank you very much, Scott. I appreciate being here. It's an honor for me. So essentially our story is a I always feel a little corny saying it, but it's a self-help and somewhat inspirational guide story where we started off as teen parents, only 16 years old facing bringing a child into the world, trying to just struggle to make ends meet and finish high school. From there. I ended up joining the military, the United States Army as a medic from 2012 to 2016. I deployed, from 2014 to 2015, got out with, as everyone does with a plan of how I'm going to kick ass once, once my term's over and no one's telling me what to do anymore. And, when I got out, I found myself in a kind of a stagnant place in life.  

William Hollingworth   00:01:45    I think a lot of veterans face that you're using your GI bill to go to school, but you just, things aren't as the past, not as clear as you think they are. And, I ended up kind of where most people do where you look around. You're like, nothing's really going on for me. This is kind of where the stagnant place gave me an opportunity to try launch change. My wife started traveling, Just a low-budget road trip. We didn't know what we were doing. We didn't have any kind of guide. We didn't have anyone really lean on for it. And, next thing we know we're making these long drives,  from Texas where we live San Antonio all the way down to California and coming back and we do this one journey and realize it's changed us.  

William Hollingworth    00:02:33    And it's something kind of neat. And this was the stepping stone to kind of getting my life on a whole new path, literally and figuratively, where we started doing these long road trips, and seeing the world, and experiencing different cultures. And it compounded into something that helped lead us towards success and lead us towards having a,  just a better drive for life and a bigger goal. From there.  I ended up finishing two degrees. Push forward in gaining better positions, traveling internationally at the end of it, none of it was ever with the intention to write a book or, or market anything. It ended up being just part of our identity and something bigger. And now we have a mission after we drove the entire 48 connected states and traveled internationally a little bit.  

William Hollingworth    00:03:22    It's become a platform we use to reach other people and communities, children in high school that are facing, the same things as teenagers wanting to do something bigger, local libraries and the events where we're helping other people start traveling and start driving their dreams to their own extent, whether it's big or small. And I really appreciate the opportunity to come out here and speak today because I think there's a lot of veterans out there that are in the same place. I found myself when I got out and it's something we're really passionate about and we're really looking forward to growing it and keep pushing it forward.  

Scott DeLuzio   00:03:56    Yeah. And there probably are quite a few veterans who are out there who faced a similar transition out of the military giving, trying to figure out what to do, what's that next step. And they start off with a plan and like all plans, especially in the middle of nowhere, they sometimes just go straight down the tubes and you end up starting over. So it's difficult to figure out exactly what to do at that point. So looking back, where your story kind of began. I'm thinking about my own life. So, my wife and I didn't have our first child until I was 27 and she was 28. But you were pretty young parents, 16, but that's, I mean, incredibly young for, for parents and knowing myself at that age. I was pretty young dumb immature in which I think a lot of kids at that age are, I've got to imagine, that becoming a parent at such a young age must have changed. You made you grow up pretty quickly, and, and get pretty mature pretty, pretty fast, because now all of a sudden you're responsible for this whole other person. And, so how did that becoming a parent change you and affect you and your, your wife, as your young teenagers?  

William Hollingworth    00:05:37    Yeah, it was, it was a massive impact. In fact, I was planning on joining the Marine Corps. I was already talking to the recruiter on my 17th birthday. I already had it set up with them that they were going to come and talk to my parents to try to sign me up early. So I could go for the summer before my senior year and then come back to the senior and they'd go right into the rains. All I really thought about was me. I felt invincible because as long as I could get myself through something, nothing else really mattered. I didn't take school seriously cause I knew I was going to join the military one way or the other. I didn't come from a military family. It's just something I've always been attracted to. When once Jessica was pregnant, the whole world opened up and arose.  

William Hollingworth    00:06:21    It wasn't about me anymore. You're accountable for somebody and it just makes you feel mortal. All of a sudden, you understand that like you have to make an income, you have to take school seriously, you have to do stuff. And so it tends to make or break a lot of people. But if you can take that in adjustment to it, I was able to use it as a focal point where now I have a much bigger goal than something I ever imagined, just more than myself and my self-image. There's two other lives depending on me. And so we were terrified of course, but luckily Jessica is good at re looking into programs and we found a local program at a high school nearby where you can actually do all your credits online and graduate early.  

William Hollingworth    00:07:10    So now instead of a dropout, I could be an early graduate. And I went from not taking school seriously at all to spending every, every minute, every hour, getting to school early, every moment I had that I wasn't going to work. You got to make money, just burning through my credits. And I actually ended up graduating at 16. And, that was a good, good moment for me, because then I went from that to working full time and really looking at what kind of military career I wanted in the Marine Corps, excellent branch. But you hear the term Marines first. You're married to the Marine Corps, which I understand, in this case. So now that I had called Jessica, I knew I wanted to put them first. And so I started looking at my options. The Air Force was, of course, an option.  

William Hollingworth    00:07:56    I had a pretty good ASVAB score, but I still had that burn to be more of a boots-on-the-ground soldier. And so now I'm talking to my parents about branch options. And it's funny because here I am working full time, graduated with a kid and Jessica is older than me. But they have to go with me to the recruiter and sign the papers for me to join the army. And I had, I had to pick something that they saw I could use outside the military. And so I thought medics were awesome. And so signed up to be a 68 whiskey. And then I'm talking to the recruiter. I'm like what should I do? Should I, I want to get married. Cause I want to bring him with me. Like, they're my whole world that should have been married now.  

William Hollingworth   00:08:36    Should I, should I wait till after basic? And he's like, ah, your chances aren't good. You might as well just get married now, man, you're making more money in basic. So I was like, okay. So then here I am, just 18. We're at the courthouse to get our marriage license. She's old enough to be, to take herself, but, my parents had to go with me. So they're there signing paperwork for me to join the army, signing paperwork for me to get married, sign all this thought it's weird, but like a little kid, even though I'm also trying to be an adult at the same time. I think that was a good reality check for my ego to know that I need to take things more seriously and be more responsible in life. And that started me on a much more dedicated path when I joined the military.  

Scott DeLuzio    00:09:23    Yeah. I can only imagine what that would be like standing in the courthouse with your parents, having to sign the paperwork, and also having your parents sign the paperwork for you to be able to join the military and everything else and go through all that process with the baby. Yeah, exactly. Right. You're in a position that I would imagine very few of your peers were, were in at that same point, going, going through all of that stuff, trying to figure out whether or not you should get married or join the military or any of that stuff, plus having a, a child, with you as well. That's kind of a unique circumstance, I think to be in. Maybe it's not, maybe I just don't know that many people who were in that circumstance. I hope so too because that's a lot for a young kid to be put through all at the same time and in dealing with all that stuff. So you talked a little bit about your transition out of the military when you had a plan and that kind of went down the tubes. So what happened there and what kind of got you back on track?  

William Hollingworth    00:10:45     As they all tend to do Murphy's law. Right? So my plan was, or the military actually did a very good job of setting me up for success. It took a little bit of fighting with my chain of command, but they sent me into a program called shifting gears. Fort Hood, where I was a station, has a lot of good out, transitioning programs. And this one helps you go through a service technician school to start as a service. Now I did that and I had a job, but personal family issues came up and I ended up being kind of helping my parents manage the properties and helping them really push their goal forward on that. I kind of dropped the ball on my drive. I was going to school, but I was going to school online and I was working for my parents.  

William Hollingworth    00:11:38    So I didn't really have an actual job . Just a little bit of money here and there for taking care of things. And before I know it I'm telling myself I'm doing big things like hobbies and such, but before I know it four or five months go by and I still don't have a job. And, and I'm just going to school online and taking the minimum amount of courses like most of us to do.  I was working on a really big project, running new fencing at a ranch. And Jessica was kind of like pushing herself to do something bigger. And she was going to school for phlebotomy certification. She finished school and she was scheduled to get a job in like two weeks. And, so she was also in a position, no work.  

William Hollingworth   00:12:31    I kind of have no work. And so she was out helping me on this ranch and we finished the fence and I looked up and I looked around, I was like, man, I just feel like I should be doing something like anything, something more than what's going on right now. I just feel like I don't know what happened, but I had all these big plans when I was transitioning that last year I was talking to everyone in my unit. Now look at me, I'm just standing here. I got nothing on my schedule, nothing on my plate. I looked at her and I was like, let's go somewhere. And she was like, really? Like where I was, I don't know, let's do something. Let's, there's gotta be something we can do. Let's just go somewhere. And since we lived here in Texas,  we're not landlocked.  

William Hollingworth    00:13:11    What a lot of us do is we go down to the beach, like two or three times a year for like a weekend. And she's like, you want to go to the coast? It's like, no,, let's do something bigger. Let's do something crazy. Let's go to like, let's go to California. And she was like California. And I was like, yeah,  like I'm saying it all night and believing it. I'm like, yeah, let's go to California. And she's like how I was like, I don't know, we don't have alignment. We have credit cards. Let's just rent a car and go, and I was like, you don't have work, for the next week and a half. I don't, all I have is one line. I can do that with my laptop, like doing something. And so we had old iPhones. Google's the cheapest place with unlimited miles and we got a car from an enterprise and we just, we reached out to my mom.  

William Hollingworth    00:13:57    So she wanted to watch the cult for the week or if we were going to take them with us, we had no clue what we're doing. She's a great-grandma. So she did. And next thing we're in a car that day and we're just driving towards California. We have no idea what we're doing. We don't really have much of a budget. We don't know where we're going. From there is where everything just takes that first step towards something that appealed to us, something that kind of drove our motivation. That's where everything turned around. We didn't know it yet, but that's where everything began  

Scott DeLuzio     00:14:31    Kind of just on a whim. You decided to just hop in the car, find, find a place to go, and just go, it wasn't a pre-planned thing or anything that you had in the back of your mind, you just decided to go. Right?  

William Hollingworth    00:14:49    Absolutely. If you would have told me the day before I was going to California about your crazy, I'm fixing a fence tomorrow and I'm going to MMA class. Like what you're talking about, the ring, no way I, I would know. And on our way there, we had no direction or anything other than west. we're driving and we don't, we're asking each other questions. What are we going to do? Are we going to stop anywhere? Like how much are we going to stand? We don't have money. We don't even technically have rural jobs at this point. Like, where's this going to go? What are we going to do? And so we're talking about it, we're talking about it. And Texas is so big that by the time we leave its about 2:am

William Hollingworth    00:15:31    And so at this point, we're like six hours in, we're still in Texas.. We're pitching ideas back and forth, like a couple of cool places we heard of. And she's like, I don't know, but I'm hungry. Let's pull over and stop somewhere. And I was like, okay, well we're about to leave Texas. So here we have a franchise called Whataburger. Let's get Whataburger. We're not going to have it, the rest of the trip. Let's just get it now. And then it clicked in me like, wait, we have like exclusive stops, like food chains here. I wonder if everywhere else has exclusive food chain. So for each state. And so she starts Googling because I'm driving, she's Googling. And she's like, oh my gosh, there's every everywhere has something.  

William Hollingworth   00:16:16    Of course everyone knows California has In and Out and stuff like that. And it's pretty much expanded farther, but everywhere has something. So we're making this list. Like we can go through these states and that's already a stop right there. But if we use that mentality, that means we should stop in every state for something, not just food, some kind of attraction everywhere. And of course, it's got like the Alamo, every major city has something that stands out. And so it clicks to us. Like we can build a list. So we start building this list of a stop in every state for both the state and their food franchise, just something small. We're going to California this way, but what if we came back a different route and now we get more states on this trip that could work.  

William Hollingworth    00:17:03    That's way cooler. And so now we're driving and all of a sudden this idea just starts going from crazy and directionless to crazy. But at least with, it's compounding into something very quickly within the course of description. So we actually have, right next to Texas, New Mexico, and then Arizona, you have a Tombstone of a famous cowboy movie, of course. And then in California, you have Los Angeles, San Francisco up into Nevada where there's Vegas, but we're broke. So you can't do that, through the mountains of Nevada and Utah Salt Lake City. And, the mountains of Oram back down into the grand canyon and so on. And we're making this giant round with all these different stops. And a lot of them are actually free because they're national parks or their historical, like historical stops.  

William Hollingworth    00:17:55    We're on the course of this trip, we're in a car together getting all this life experience all of a sudden, we're just, it's me and my wife. And of course, each other, we've been married for four, five years at this point, but you're really getting to know each other, what I mean, in a car on this journey. And you're getting to experience all these new things and get new ideas and grow as people together. And we do this trip. We actually got to see a couple of military buddies along the way, because I was hitting up people that telling me like, oh yeah, I'm from Utah, this and that seems to be there. They're back there now, and, I could tell as I'm meeting them, some of them are doing great.  

William Hollingworth    00:18:40    Some of them are exactly where I'm at in life, as I'm coming across them. And when we got back from this trip at the very end. The very last night we were staying with some military buddies back at Fort Hood. Cause we had to pass through on our way back to San Antonio and I'm telling them about it. And it kind of finally hits me that, like, we just grew a lot, like it's weird that that was a week, but a lot changed for us the way we saw things, the way we experienced people, the way we experienced the world, it grew together. Like that was, that was something that was something different that similar to how people go to basic training and it's, two months, three months, whatever you're in and you come out and it's like the world you came out of a time capsule, what I mean?  

William Hollingworth    00:19:24    Like a totally different person than when you went in. It was just life. And it was so bizarre. I didn't expect that. And now we're much more experienced. We did something exciting and I was like, we need to do that. And we need to do that again, as soon as we can realistically because I wasn't realistic. Right? We Did it. I don't expect people to do that. I was like, we need to do that again. As soon as we can realistically do it. And it really set the launchpad for future trips. And as you see, but trucks are told to do the, if you wanted to do the entire, 40 connected states, the same way we did, of course, we're from Texas. So depending on where you're at your route would be a little different, but you see a major difference from when we do our very first trip to the time in between when we do the second trip, the time in between the third trip, time in between.  

William Hollingworth   00:20:11    And then when we finish who we are as people, how we're driven, how we think, what I mean, how we experience things, it's incredible, how there's stark changes in growth between and after each trip. It was just, it was an amazing experience. I'd like to get into those trips also. As we went through these, we told people, and in the beginning, after the first trip, no one thought it was a good idea. People were like, don't do that. No one wants to do that. Like, that was a terrible idea. Maybe go fly somewhere for a week's vacation. And we were like, we're like, man, you just don't understand. Like there was something significant to this that people feel the drive to do. This is something I highly recommend. After the second trip though, people took it a little seriously, because on the second trip, we went up into Canada, in New York, and then east to Portland, Maine, and then came back on different routes.  

William Hollingworth    00:21:11    So we had like 20 something trips or states in a single trip. And people took it a little seriously. Some people thought it was cool. Some people were like reaching out,, like, oh, that's neat. Like you got any traveling advice, this, this, and this. And again, a huge change in our personality and who we are as people and how we conduct ourselves after the second trip. And there's roughly a year between each vacation because we're getting better at jobs. We're getting better with our academics, getting better with structure and budgeting. And then after the third trip, we just went to Florida east end of the Carolinas, Florida and back.  Now people are taking this really seriously. Like, wow,, y'all are Travelers. I'll do this. And that, like y'all should make an Instagram page, whatnot.  

William Hollingworth    00:21:54    I was like, ah, no, like no one really cares that much. I'm just, I'm just trying to like, do something that I'm passionate about. And then before, we'd get a couple of international travel opportunities and I take them and  I complete my college degree. We get better jobs and then we do our fourth and final journey. People were looking forward to it. People were rooting for us. We do this fourth trip all the way up into,, through Illinois, Minnesota, North Dakota, west of Washington, back down into Yellowstone and back down to Texas. And we've knocked out the 48 states. And at that point was when I, um, we were on the way back and it hit me that maybe this is something a little bigger than just driving for fun. Maybe this has become something that I could do more with.  

William Hollingworth    00:22:46    And, that's when I, it, it occurred that man, this, this could be something that could help people. This could be something people are actually interested in. Maybe not the exact way, maybe not all 48, maybe not the exact way, but the way this change means help pull me out of a, kind of a stagnant place. Maybe this is something I could do that other people would be interested in too. This is something I've done that a lot of people haven't. And so that's when I was like, this could be a book, it could be a book, it could be,a social media page. We could help people. We could reach out to people and it went from there, it blew up from there and we just hit one year of our last finishing the 48 states because it happened in 2020. And so now it's become this platform for reaching out to people, this platform, especially better where we try to help people drive their own dreams, whether it's big or small, whether it's,, a big trip,, a giant road trip or just something small, like taking your family down to, to the beach just whatever it is we have become, a platform for people to reach out to and, and assist them.  

Scott DeLuzio   00:24:01    Yeah. And I want to talk about how the book came about. And I also realized that the travel, especially the last trip, probably got impacted a little bit with the way the country kind of locked down. You said it, it ended in 2020 and everything. It probably made travel a little bit more difficult, although driving is probably a little bit easier than flying, especially during that time period. So, you probably were still able to do some things, especially if you're going to outdoor type things like parks and things like that, where, where you still could get out and enjoy that kind of stuff. But, some of the other stuff that you may have wanted to see along the light probably didn't go exactly as you probably had anticipated.  What, what is the book all about and, and how is your journey through all these 48 states? Helping other people?  

William Hollingworth   00:25:06    Yeah, so the book is very similar to how we started the introduction. It begins where I was as a stared teenage parent, just not knowing where to go. It goes into my military life very briefly.  I wasn't really trying to make it a military book. I wanted to really focus on people, getting out there and taking that first step. It goes to where I was after the military and my feelings just didn't have much direction and it's so easy to get there and then stay there. And then I was in the same place. I think most people, a lot of my friends, a lot of my fellow veterans find themselves in and how I took that first step towards something bigger. And once that's all pretty much within the first chapter, then it starts on the road trip format.  

William Hollingworth    00:25:56    How we're just going for that California trip would, nothing really, no major goal in mind, we go into that California trip. It goes through each stop, each state very quickly. It gives all the routes, all the stops, the budget, like what it ended up costing us for each one, we did the very first trip all the way to California, back through different states. It's like 12 states cold for like $600. So pretty, pretty low budget for two people. It comes back in and it takes a chapter to sit and reflect on the impact that made in differences in me at the time outside of direct friends and, direct family, no one else liked no one thought that was a great idea. I kind of understand what, so it is a little crazy. It goes to how we grew in the time between how I ended up getting a job back in the medical field and closer to finishing my degree and just also got a job in the medical field, into the second journey where we're going up to New York and into Canada, and then east of Portland, Maine.  

William Hollingworth    00:27:01    It goes through how Colts (son) comes with us along the way. Of course, he goes with us on the secretary, the first trip, he was still pretty small and he stays with my mom. Now we're doing things right. We're doing it as a family, we have a plane and rest stops at nine at night. We have some budget, money saved up. We have a better rental car instead of a little Ford Fiesta where our knees have to hurt, all day, every day. Then when we come back, it's that reconfirmation of having a goal that we held onto a full year, because we did the very first stripper. I forgot about the military in 2017 and the next one takes place in 2018. And so like, you're seeing this very start growth because you have everything condensed into a chapter a year.  

William Hollingworth  00:27:47    When we finished my bachelor's degree on the second trip, we came back. I get a couple opportunities to go international for work. So I could go to Brazil and stuff like that. When I come back, I'd finally get a job in the medical field where I had worked to get back into. And, now I have my health administration degree. I get a health administrator job and I got there and I realized, I don't even like this, that much. I did all this college work and, because I felt like I was supposed to now I'm doing it. And this doesn't even feel like my calling,  like being a medic and being a health missionary, it's totally different. So it goes through another thing, actually, a lot of people feel conflicted, and I've seen it personally, where you go to school for something that you think you should've went to school for, and then you finish, and maybe that wasn't the right fit for you. And you have to find another avenue in life if and it goes through that portion of my life,  in refiguring out what I wanted to do, identifying myself more and being that I've been doing these journeys where I'm willing to travel, I'm willing to set a goal and work towards it. That really helped me with my career.  Post-military career, finding my calling and finding what I liked, what I was in June and being willing to take another journey to get to that position as well.  

Scott DeLuzio    00:29:18    Yeah. And one of the things with travel, that  I've noticed, and you briefly mentioned this earlier,  when you go to basic training,  you're thrown into a group of people from all over the country,  from all over the place, different backgrounds, different lifestyles that came from different, everything. It's a big mixture of people from all over the country. And it's eye-opening to be with all those people who have all these experiences or lack of experiences, where maybe they never left their hometown. And until they went to basic training. And I remember we had, we had a few guys who were from the Northwest in our basic training unit, and they had never seen fireflies before. And when we were out in, in Georgia and we were at Fort Benning, Georgia, we're out in the woods at night, and there's all these little lights lighting up, these little fireflies lighting up, what the hell is that?  

Scott DeLuzio    00:30:31    Different things that you experienced along the way. And you start to realize that the world is bigger than just whatever it is in your own town. And that there's more to life. There's more to experience out there. And the more you travel, the more you realize that. And so I could imagine how this, these trips that you were taking, it started to open up your eyes, you hadn't traveled to some of these places before it started to open your eyes to, oh, wow. There's actually desert in certain parts of the country. And I grew up in the Northeast in Connecticut and I live out in Arizona now and you come out here and it's like completely different, you're almost on a different planet with the different change in weather and everything like that. But the climate is just so different, but it's just something that opens up your eyes as you're traveling. And I imagine that that's probably just something that you experience as well as all these new experiences that kind of open up your eyes to the world around you.  

William Hollingworth    00:31:46    Yeah. You come back, it's like stepping in a time capsule where you come back from a tour. Of course the world's still moved, but you've come back from a spot. And everyone's pretty much the same where you left them, just like basic training. You go into basic training for a few months. You come back. Everyone's pretty much in the same position. Because a few months at home is not really much of a difference, but you come back and you feel like life's accelerating, like all these new experiences, you never had all these new people you met from different networks that integrated themselves into you a little bit. And the same thing happens. And it's just mind-blowing when you do it. You, you can't tell till you get back and then you see it. It's like you live in black and white. Now you can see it in color.  

William Hollingworth    00:32:25    And there was a lot of that. There was a lot of that on all of them, especially the first trip, because it was the first time we ever did it. And then when we came back through, the third trip or second, cause that was another big one.I guess in the last one too, 'cause that's when I realized it could be a book, it could be a platform. It could be something to reach out to people with. It really is incredible. And you see it as you're driving through, you see it on both sides, you go places and it seems almost like their, their state or their city or just their biome is kind of stuck in the past a little bit. The way that people react, the way that people look at you, the way just the places built.  

William Hollingworth  00:33:09    And then you go to other places that are extremely moderate, nice and diverse, like San Francisco, California, New York City, New York, Miami, Florida, things like that. Since I live in San Antonio, it's a pretty diverse location as it is now. But still like just the impact and the difference and the things you see. And then, as I was going through and I'm meeting other veterans that I've served with and some of them are doing great. Some of them are doing better than me. Some of them are doing worse than they've ever been. You see so many different walks of life.  And that's something that just, yeah, yeah. Just like basic training, everything else, it really puts it in a bubble for you.  

Scott DeLuzio     00:34:02    Yeah. For sure. Now I picked up a copy of your book and read out how, how is it that, that your message is going to help them with their own journey and their own, their own path in life?  

William Hollingworth    00:34:17    Absolutely, absolutely. And I really believe that will, and I'll tell you what, the first five people that reached to me saying that they heard about me through the drive on podcast. I'll send you a free book. You don't have to buy it more than halfway. As long as you have a mailing address you're comfortable with, I'll mail it out to you. Big, thanks to Scott for having me on here. As far as the book, you're going to see a lot of vulnerability. You're gonna see a lot of articulated thoughts on being lost from me. You're going to see a lot of things on how you, someone who wasn't sure of themselves, someone who didn't have much going, someone who is very inexperienced in life, very young in life, has a lot of reasons to not do something. A lot of excuses to not take that first step.  

William Hollingworth    00:35:03    You're going to see how I pushed into something bigger. And then how, once you do it, once you take that first step, How anyone could do it. And then I hope everyone that feels the calling will do it. In the book, there's a, there's a complete guide that there's maps on the trips we took. There's the budget, there's the stop ball put in there for you. You could literally give me the same exact thing. You can also follow us on our Instagram page. It's all there. If you can't buy the book right now or something, by all means, reach out to us on the Instagram page. I'm not going to try to pressure you into it, I'm not going to ask you. If you bought the book, we have the same mats. We have the same formula. It's all there.  

William Hollingworth    00:35:45    I believe in it so much. We're actually in three libraries, we've won a couple of book awards. We're working on a deal with the San Antonio library to put into 16 more libraries in two local schools. I believe this is something that could call out to a lot of people and give them a template, a template, a map. And also a lot of common feelings. I think a lot of people face veterans, young people, people who just couldn't ever pull the trigger on making that trip. I had an aunt who she talked about wanting to go to Graceland her entire life, but it kept getting put off the next year or, later this summer or whatever, and it got put off and she spent her entire life and never made it out of Texas, but it was such a big deal.  

William Hollingworth    00:36:25    Everyone knew that was a big golfer, making Graceland. And when I got to Graceland on the second trip, we made it there in right over 24 hours. I remember getting there and just feeling a little bit sad and remorseful for her and a lot of people like that better in that position, because it's something so easy to do. If you have just some guidance on how to do it, and we didn't have any guidance, we were just going with going with our gut and going with our own personal research. But I'm really helped. This is something that gives people that guidance. And like I said, you can find all the maps, all the budgets, all the pictures on the Instagram page, all 48 and beyond. We have over 2000 followers right now. So we have a big network, but if you messaged me, I will gladly get back to you. If you can't reach me on all 40 and beyond, we have Hollingworth travels@gmail.com. You can just email me, I'll send you everything personally. I'm not going to ask you to buy the book. I'm not going to make you, I just want to reach people. I just want to help you take that first step.  

Scott DeLuzio     00:37:25    And one of the things that you just said that hit me, was pretty impactful to me. When, when you said this was just how easy it is to reach certain goals. And some people go their whole lives with this goal. They want to get Graceland for example. And it's one day away. Like you can get in the car and you could drive for a day probably with some stops in between. Because it's a long-distance and everything, but you could be there in a day and your goal will be met. Your dream will be there. And then some people just go their whole lives, not realizing just how close some of these goals are and they don't even try and they don't make it there. when you live your whole life, when you get towards the end of your life, and you're looking back at all the things that you coulda, woulda, shoulda, whatever you don't want to let those things just be those regrets that you have in life, at least try, right?  

William Hollingworth   00:38:42    Yeah, you're right in. And to me, if you do it with one thing, it gets easy to do it with two things. And the next thing you're doing it with everything and that's it haunted me when I got there. When we were walking out, we got all the cars and we walked up a concrete path to the entrance. It hit me and I was like, man, this was almost me when I was without a job standing there, after the military, this was, this could have been me. And this was someone I was related to for her whole life. And she lived a long life. It was a day away or this big, everyone knew that this was a big goal for her. And it was a day away and it never happened. And I was like, man, if this happened to me, if it happened to her and it almost happened to me, this could be happening to a lot of people.  

William Hollingworth    00:39:23    This could be happening to my son. That's why I'm really glad he's with us. He got to do a lot of these things. I'm hoping that's an example for him moving forward, that he can do anything. I just don't want that to happen to anybody that I will send anyone, any adviser. We didn't take them, people on trips here in Texas, people that are nearby like, Hey, we're going down here. Like, do you want to come? We'll pay for all you got to pay for is your own food. We'll pay for everything else. Like we'll drive you there. We linked up with people. We'd give it. We've had people that reach out to us from, let's see here, roam Australia in England so far that are planning on coming to the United States and that somehow caught wind of the page or the book.  

William Hollingworth    00:40:00    And they're wondering like advice to just now they're winning, wanting to make that big trip here to see stuff. And even though they're not going to see all 48 states, they're going to go to one state, but we can recommend talking to them about it. And that's all I want. I, especially for our veterans, have a very important soft spot in my heart that people that get out of the military can, can drive those dreams and do those big things. Because if you, if you can push forward with one simple thing for us, it was just getting on a road trip. You'll see how it compounds into everyday life.  

Scott DeLuzio     00:40:36    Yeah, definitely. And, and those little things, it may not seem like that big of a thing just to get in the car and drive for a day or two. But, it shows you that these things are possible and that there's other stuff out there beyond your hometown or the small area that you grew up in or whatever. I know when my, when my wife and I, when we lived with our kids, when we moved from Connecticut to Arizona, we drove from, from the east coast all the way out here to Arizona. And it was, it was a different way of traveling. We always flew all over the place and everything, but we wanted to drive out here and we got the opportunity to see certain parts of the country that we never would have seen those flyover states

Scott DeLuzio    00:41:24    So they talk about, it just looks like grids on the ground as you're flying over, but there's actual stuff there. And it's, it's kinda neat. See a lot of it from the highway, so we didn't, we didn't really get to experience a ton of it. But, because we were on a timeline we had to get there by a certain time. But, it was still interesting to see the places that we did stop. We got to experience some of the stuff that we never would have taken a trip to, certain parts of the country just because we wouldn't have done that. And, and so we, we ended up getting to see certain parts of, of the country and, and experience different things. And it was a pretty good experience. I think I know my wife and I met yet. My kids were pretty young at the time, so they may not necessarily remember it, but my wife and I will remember that forever and it's going to be something that we take with us, for years and years to come. 

William Hollingworth    00:42:23    Yeah, there's so many hidden wonders and just the personal growth each place impacts you on,and like you said, you won't ever forget your, especially now you can have photos and make it like a travel walk, but you'll never forget it. It's going to have a crazy impact. I always thought people always say travel, travel, travel. I mean, that's cool, but what do you have to show for it? You'll see it. Like, you'll see it inside yourself. You'll see the difference when you do things like this, it's, it's a big deal. And, and one thing I've noticed it helps while it's not an instant cure for things like depression or being stagnant. I don't think there's any instinct here. It's a really good first step when you travel. And when you hit those goals towards being driven towards something, being focused, being positive, growing yourself internally in experiencing culture. And all those things are good platforms for helping you overcome things as a person and helping you have a higher focus as a person. And I've had a lot of people reach out to me and then after they make it happen, no one's ever done it. And then they told me they regretted it. And it makes a big plant, seeds that are going to come to fruition throughout your life.  

Scott DeLuzio     00:43:41    That's a great way to put it. And I think with that, we won't want to give away all of the tidbits in the book either. It's been a pleasure speaking with you on this episode. Where can people go to get a copy of the book and follow you online? I know you mentioned your, your Instagram, is there anywhere else? Yeah,  

William Hollingworth    00:44:03    So Instagram's the only major social media platform only because I want to make sure I can respond to everyone who reaches out and it just gets a little difficult as you stretch yourself. Then if you don't have an Instagram, you can reach out to us by calling my travels@gmail.com. I'll get back to you right away. As far as getting the book we're, we're on a lot of platforms we're on Amazon, Amazon Kindle, Kobo target. You can go through Google, Barnes and Noble book, baby, and then we're even international,  there's a link tree. That'll be linked below if you click that, it puts everything on one simple page for everyone, whether it's buying the book, accessing Instagram, accessing our email, seeing other podcasts and other interviews, it'll all be there. This drive will be posted there. So all of that's in one easy click for y'all, by all means reach out.  And if you reach out saying you're from the drive on podcast, I'll send the first five people, free copies I'll mail. You don't even pay shipping, I'll pay for the shipping, mail it out to you. I would give more, but I'm tired. We got libraries and stuff. We got put somewhere, 

Scott DeLuzio    00:45:08    That's more than generous, that you're, that you're willing to do that. So anyone who is looking to grab a copy of the book definitely reach out and that's a very generous offer.  We really do appreciate that you are doing that and sharing, sharing your work with, with everybody. I think that's definitely incredible. So thank you again for your time for coming on the show, sharing your story and your journey. I really do appreciate the insights and  looking forward to hearing more about your travels and your journeys, if you have other trips coming up and everything, I'll be, I'll be following along and, and keep keeping an eye on that as time goes on to.  

William Hollingworth    00:45:56    Absolutely. Thank you, Scott. I can't wait to finish the surviving son. Thanks for having me on. We're, we're still traveling. We're still updating stuff. We got Disney world booked in a month and a half Alaskan cruise, all kinds of exciting stuff, people. And if people want to reach out to us, we're happy to host them, happy to give them pointers, whatever they want. So thank you so much for having me and keep driving your dreams, everyone to keep driving on.  

Scott DeLuzio   00:46:18    Thanks for listening to the Drive On Podcast. If you want to check out more episodes or learn more about the show, you can visit our website driveonpodcast.com. We're also on Instagram, Facebook, Twitter, LinkedIn, and YouTube at DriveOnPodcast.

]]> 00:46:41 <![CDATA[Emotional Freedom Through Tapping]]> Thu, 03 Feb 2022 08:00:00 +0000 Scott DeLuzio https://permalink.castos.com/podcast/2296/episode/870460 Lauren Fonvielle helps veterans overcome symptoms of stress, anxiety, PTSD, insomnia, physical pain, and more through the Emotional Freedom Technique (EFT), also known as "tapping".

Lauren describes tapping as being similar to acupuncture without the needles. In acupuncture, as in tapping, the idea is to re-balance the flow of energy through your body.

Links & Resources

Transcript

Scott DeLuzio    00:00:00    Thanks for tuning into a Drive On Podcast where we're focused on giving hope and strength to the entire military community, whether you're a veteran active duty guard reserve or family member, this podcast we'll share inspirational stories and resources that are useful to you. I'm your host, Scott DeLuzio. And now let's get on with the show. Everybody will come back to the Drive On Podcast. Today, my guest is Lauren Fonvielle. Lauren is a military spouse and specializes in helping others alleviate their stress, anxiety, and trauma through a technique called emotional freedom technique. Welcome to the show, Lauren.

Lauren Fonvielle    00:00:41    I'm so excited to be here and talk with you.  

Scott DeLuzio  00:00:43    Yeah, absolutely. So why don't you tell us a little bit about yourself and a little bit about what you do?  

Lauren Fonvielle    00:00:49    Sure. Yeah. So, like you said, I am a military spouse and I specialize in EFT. It's also referred to as tapping. I have used it personally in my journey with anxiety and stress and it has been so helpful to me that I felt called to go on to get trained, to share it with others. And particularly sharing it with military folk is important to me as I am a Navy wife. And I know how stressful it can be. And I was actually introduced to EFT shortly before my, my husband's most recent deployment. And, I am credited with helping me get through that tough time.  

Scott DeLuzio    00:01:37    That's really cool. I'm glad that, first of all, glad that you found this technique for yourself to kind of make the process a little bit easier for you and kind of alleviate your own anxiety. But could you tell us how you got into doing this and, and how you found out about it and,  how you, how you discovered it kind of everything that was going on then?  

Lauren Fonvielle    00:02:02    Yeah, so we found out that my husband was going to have to deploy. He's in the reserves now. So it came as a little bit of a surprise.  I wasn't anticipating it. So it kind of came out of nowhere and the anxiety really set in because at the time I had two young kids and just the brain started circling and all the thoughts started going. And so for me, when I start to feel really anxious and overwhelmed, I typically will find myself in a yoga class and that's exactly what happened. So I was in this yoga class and I happened to see a poster, a flyer for yoga teacher training. And that was my first step on this journey as I signed up for yoga teacher training. I don't know what happened that day, but it was like calling this push that I had to do this.  

Lauren Fonvielle    00:02:53    And it started the weekend after my husband left for deployment. I didn't know how I was logistically going to make it happen, being that my family was far away, but I knew that I had to do it. So I signed up and through that process of being in the yoga studio and around other like-minded people that are talking about energy work, I was introduced to EFT. And, for those of you that are not familiar with what EFT is, it...

]]> full 147 false Lauren Fonvielle helps veterans overcome symptoms of stress, anxiety, PTSD, insomnia, physical pain, and more through the Emotional Freedom Technique (EFT), also known as "tapping".

Lauren describes tapping as being similar to acupuncture without the needles. In acupuncture, as in tapping, the idea is to re-balance the flow of energy through your body.

Links & Resources

Transcript

Scott DeLuzio    00:00:00    Thanks for tuning into a Drive On Podcast where we're focused on giving hope and strength to the entire military community, whether you're a veteran active duty guard reserve or family member, this podcast we'll share inspirational stories and resources that are useful to you. I'm your host, Scott DeLuzio. And now let's get on with the show. Everybody will come back to the Drive On Podcast. Today, my guest is Lauren Fonvielle. Lauren is a military spouse and specializes in helping others alleviate their stress, anxiety, and trauma through a technique called emotional freedom technique. Welcome to the show, Lauren.

Lauren Fonvielle    00:00:41    I'm so excited to be here and talk with you.  

Scott DeLuzio  00:00:43    Yeah, absolutely. So why don't you tell us a little bit about yourself and a little bit about what you do?  

Lauren Fonvielle    00:00:49    Sure. Yeah. So, like you said, I am a military spouse and I specialize in EFT. It's also referred to as tapping. I have used it personally in my journey with anxiety and stress and it has been so helpful to me that I felt called to go on to get trained, to share it with others. And particularly sharing it with military folk is important to me as I am a Navy wife. And I know how stressful it can be. And I was actually introduced to EFT shortly before my, my husband's most recent deployment. And, I am credited with helping me get through that tough time.  

Scott DeLuzio    00:01:37    That's really cool. I'm glad that, first of all, glad that you found this technique for yourself to kind of make the process a little bit easier for you and kind of alleviate your own anxiety. But could you tell us how you got into doing this and, and how you found out about it and,  how you, how you discovered it kind of everything that was going on then?  

Lauren Fonvielle    00:02:02    Yeah, so we found out that my husband was going to have to deploy. He's in the reserves now. So it came as a little bit of a surprise.  I wasn't anticipating it. So it kind of came out of nowhere and the anxiety really set in because at the time I had two young kids and just the brain started circling and all the thoughts started going. And so for me, when I start to feel really anxious and overwhelmed, I typically will find myself in a yoga class and that's exactly what happened. So I was in this yoga class and I happened to see a poster, a flyer for yoga teacher training. And that was my first step on this journey as I signed up for yoga teacher training. I don't know what happened that day, but it was like calling this push that I had to do this.  

Lauren Fonvielle    00:02:53    And it started the weekend after my husband left for deployment. I didn't know how I was logistically going to make it happen, being that my family was far away, but I knew that I had to do it. So I signed up and through that process of being in the yoga studio and around other like-minded people that are talking about energy work, I was introduced to EFT. And, for those of you that are not familiar with what EFT is, it stands for emotional freedom technique and it really does help you do just that it helps you find freedom from your emotions. And when I describe it, I often talk about it like, or compare it to acupuncture because people are more familiar with acupuncture. So if you go to an acupuncturist and I'm going to take those little needles and they're going to put them in at certain points around your body and with tapping, instead of putting little needles in, we're just using acupressure and gently tapping on certain points of the body.  

Lauren Fonvielle    00:03:53    And it has that similar impact. There's a lot of science behind what's going on while you're tapping on these points and we can get into that. But it was really because I was introduced to it because I was in the yoga studio. I was around these other people. I joined different groups that were exposing me to all sorts of different modalities. And at that point, I was willing to try anything to feel better. And I thought that was when I first was learning about this, the idea of tapping on yourself to just physically tapping on yourself, to reduce anxiety or to reduce physical pain, that seemed too out there to me that didn't seem like something real. And, but like I said, I was at this point where I was so anxious, I'm here, I'm going to try it.  

Lauren Fonvielle     00:04:45    I'll give it a, I'll give it a whirl. And in the first group session that I was in, I was shocked, wait a second. What's happening? I do feel better. What's going on? My brain is trying to process why this is working. But the fact of the matter is that it did work and that just really piqued my curiosity. And so I continued to explore it, and tap, and eventually led me down this path to get certified, to help others with it.  

Scott DeLuzio   00:05:17    You touched on something that, to me, I didn't really make this connection before when I was doing my research, trying to figure out exactly what all this meant and what you do and everything like that. But so when you compared it to acupuncture, It really made a lot of sense. How that works because acupuncture is pretty well known. I think a lot of people know what to do with the needles and everything. For me, I have a big problem with needles almost every time, like any kind of needle comes near me and my wife couldn't tell you about this. Because I, she was there for one time when this happened. Anytime any needles come around me, I pass out needles and I just don't get along. I have no tattoos. I try not to do any blood work if I can avoid it. Just not me. They're just not my friends. When I had a surgery and they had to, I put an IV in my arm and I was sitting in the waiting room waiting to go back into the surgery room and my wife was sitting there with me. And about a minute after they put the IV thing in my arm, I just was on the floor, passed out. I am no good with needles at all, but tapping, I think I can handle it.  

Lauren Fonvielle     00:06:40    It's a great alternative.  

Scott DeLuzio   00:06:42    Yeah, absolutely. So, for someone like me, as soon as you said that, it totally piqued my interest because whenever I see acupuncture, oh, there's all these benefits. No, thanks. I'm good. I'll probably, I'll probably crack my skull on the floor as I pass out or whatever. So, no, it's all good. So you also mentioned that there's, there's science backing this process and everything, and I would love to hear more about that and kind of what goes into this whole process.  

Lauren Fonvielle     00:07:13    Yeah, absolutely. So I'll start by saying the points that we tap on, just like when you go to the accurate acupuncturist and the needles and the points that they put the needles in that are the endpoints of the meridians and the meridians are how energy flows through our, through our bodies. So just like how blood flows through our blood vessels, energy flows through our meridians. And sometimes that energy can get stuck and tapping on. It helps to get it moving. The more science-y part of this, right, is when you're experiencing stress and anxiety or overwhelm. The amygdala in the brain is firing off, right? The amygdala is that part of the brain that controls flight or freeze. And so, and I always like to make sure that I share that. The amygdala is there to protect us, right?  

Lauren Fonvielle    00:08:10    It's there so that when you are in a dangerous situation, that you are, the cortisol starts pumping through your body so that you can fight back or you can run away. So you can protect yourself. However, when we are dealing with, when we're talking about anxiety and stress are chronic anxiety and stress, and that amygdala is firing all day long, that cortisol is pumping through your body nonstop. That's not good, right? That's gonna leave you not feeling good. So what the tapping does is that as you're tapping on these points, what's happening is that a message is being sent to the amygdala in the brain, and it's telling the amygdala, Hey, you don't need to be freaking out right now. You're not in fight or flight. And it has been shown to reduce the amount of cortisol that's pumping through the body by up to 40%.  

Lauren Fonvielle     00:09:00    And that was actually 43%. And that was a study that was done by Dr. Peter Stapleton. And that was in a group setting. And it's just so phenomenal because to be able to reduce the amount of cortisol that's pumping through your body, by that big of a percentage within minutes is huge. And you don't need anything besides your fingertips. And it helps you feel better. So because when you are in that fight or flight, or you're having an anxiety attack So I'm going to use my, put my hand into a fist and I'm, my thumb is on the inside, right? And so when we are making sound good decisions, information comes up the brainstem to the prefrontal cortex, that front part of the brain.  

Lauren Fonvielle    00:09:52    So we're gonna pretend this part of my, my, fist here is this part of my brain. And you can make those good sound decisions, but when the amygdala's going off, the little, my thumb in here, right. But this part of my hand goes up. And so you can't make sound decisions because the amygdala is going crazy and it's pumping all that cortisol. And so what's happening is that when you're tapping, it's telling the amygdala, okay, you don't need to be freaking out. Don't need to be doing that. And the prefrontal cortex comes back online so that you can make those sound decisions. So when you're feeling really anxious and really overwhelmed, sometimes you'll, you'll, you'll probably have said in the past, I can't even think straight, right? Because you just, the thoughts are just going crazy. And it's because all that cortisol is pumping through your brain and public through your body. And so by tapping, it's reducing that, bringing the prefrontal cortex back to back online. So you're calming the body. When you calm the body, then you can calm the mind too, and that's a good thing. That's a good thing so that we can feel, feel better and make those better decisions.  

Scott DeLuzio    00:10:59    And that's interesting too, how just tapping a certain point will help make all of that change in your body internally. So when comparing it to acupuncture or using that as, as kind of a description, I know, 've never had acupuncture, but I've seen videos and things like that, of people getting needles on their backs and other places.  I am not imagining that tapping is something that you're going to be reaching behind yourself, tapping yourself on the back to do so. What are some of the locations that, that people would be, able to, to use this technique in order to reduce the,  

Lauren Fonvielle     00:11:55    Yeah. So there are several main points and we call it a round of tapping. So I can just walk you through where, where the points are. So the first point is on the pinkie side of the hand, and you can tap with either hand and there's no, I always like to say there's no wrong way of tapping. So I'm tapping with my right fingers on the pinkie side of my left hand. And that's the first, that's the first spot. The next spot is right on the center of the head, the crown of the head, right in the middle. And then you move to the beginning of the eyebrows and you can do one hand, or you can do both hands at the same time. And then you go to the side of the eyes, under the eyes, under the nose, onto the chin crease, the collarbone under the arm.  

Lauren Fonvielle    00:12:48    And then the top of the hand between the pinky and the ring finger on the back of the hand. And those are the main points of the protocol. You can, and I always tell people, if you're going through this. I'm going to try it, see how it makes me feel. Notice if there's one particular point that you're really drawn to. That really feels good. Sometimes these are points that you naturally will touch during the day, and you're not even aware of it. If you're sitting at your desk and maybe you're tapping on your chin, or maybe you're tapping on, on your lip, or when you're really stressed out, you grab your head and you're holding your, and get these points. So just notice, if that is you, or if one of them really, really stands out, and if you take anything away from it. That's a point that helps me feel better and know that you can go to that point, take some deep breaths and, um, and that'll make you, that'll make you calm down and feel a little bit more in control.  

Scott DeLuzio    00:13:47    Interesting. And so, is this technique something that you can do for many different kinds of symptoms or, or conditions that you might be dealing with?  

Lauren Fonvielle    00:14:00    It helps with a wide variety of conditions. I think that was another thing when I was first introduced to it.  So it can help with anxiety and stress. It can help you with limiting beliefs. It can help you if you are now having trouble sleeping. If you're dealing with insomnia, it's, I have quite a few clients that I've worked with that have fibromyalgia and are dealing with physical pain. It can help you with PTSD and dealing with the trauma that has happened with past memories. It has really far-reaching benefits that it can help with, with all of these different things. And so the actual tapping and breathing while you're doing it, that's, that's the first part of it. But the other part of it is that then we add in the component.  

Lauren Fonvielle     00:14:52    So the thoughts that you're having during it. So if we're talking about anxiety.  What is making you anxious? The situation at hand that's causing the anxiety,  and you use that information to create some phrases, and then you use those phrases as you're tapping on the points. So for example, you could say, even though I'm feeling so anxious, I'm acknowledging how I feel right now, even though I'm feeling anxious and I feel it in my neck and my shoulders, that's just how it is right now. You're just scoring. We're just trying to acknowledge the feelings. Because a lot of the time we, as humans, don't like to do that, especially when we're talking about intense emotions, it's a lot easier to try and stuff that stuff down and redirect our attention and ignore it.  

Lauren Fonvielle    00:15:50    I think we all know that that that can work in the short term, but eventually, that's going to come back up to bite you in some way and t, that could come out, whether it's just yelling at a loved one that doesn't necessarily deserve it, or, it could come out physically. And I think, especially when we're talking about stress, there's a lot of, what I ask somebody if you're feeling stressed, where do you feel that in your body, most people have an immediate answer to that. But when we want, what people don't realize is that it's not just stress, it's any intense emotion. It could be, it could be deep sadness, it could be anger. We hold these things physically in our body. And if we don't allow them to move and release them, they're going to cause some sort of physical issue for us. Taking the time to hold the space for the emotions that you have can be a really, really powerful practice in itself.  

Scott DeLuzio    00:16:53    Yeah. That's interesting too. We could have all these different kinds of symptoms and, and the same techniques could help alleviate some of these things and that, but that's interesting how that could work. So how long would it take for, for someone let's say you're, you're super stressed out or, going through, having some thoughts that are making you anxious or PTSD or whatever it is that you're going through, how long would, would someone typically expect to have to be tapping in a certain location in order to start seeing the results and the benefits of that? yeah.  

Lauren Fonvielle    00:17:46    So if the answer is it, it depends on the situation at hand, right? So if it's, if you're dealing with chronic anxiety, that's been going on for a really long time, it may take longer to get to the root cause of it. A lot of the time, the issues that we are experiencing in the present day are a combination of all sorts of experiences throughout our lives that have really layered on top of each other. And some of it we're cognitively aware of, are impacting us in some of it, we are not cognitively aware that these things are still impacting us the way that they are. And with tapping, it's very, very common that, you could say, let's say I'm having a lot of anxiety about my job, right. You're tapping on, even though I'm so anxious about my job and this project, that's how it is all of this anxiety about the job.  

Lauren Fonvielle    00:18:45    And then as you're tapping saying that same, those same words or that same phrase over and over on each of the points, it's very common that at one point you'll maybe have a thought that seems like it's unrelated. That seems that it's something from your past. It could be, it could go all the way back to childhood or, a time that you felt anxious when you were at home or something. And then our brain tries to say, well, that's not related. I'm anxious about my job, I'm not anxious about me being a six-year-old kid at home alone, whatever it was. But when that thought comes up, that thought is coming up for a reason it's not random. And so it really is this process of connecting the dots and just allowing the tapping to do the work.  

Lauren Fonvielle     00:19:30    And when those thoughts come up, we explore it. And we tap on that and we see where that, where that leads. So I think how long it takes for it to work depends on a multitude of factors. One how long you've been dealing with the issue to how open and ready you are for healing. Sometimes we're not ready yet. There's other work that we need to do before that kind of cognitive shift can happen. That aha moment where, oh yeah, I don't really need to be anxious about that. And sometimes it happens fast. It really, it really, really depends. I mean, when I was dealing with my anxiety, I really felt that in my neck and in my jaw, I have TMJ and then my TMJ will flare-up. And so when I was first introduced to this, as I had mentioned before, it was in a group setting and it was just a general anxiety and I felt a little bit calmer.  

Lauren Fonvielle     00:20:30    And then I went on to have some one-on-one sessions. And, when I learned that this could not only help with anxiety, but with physical pain, at the time I was dealing with a lot of TMJ pain. And so I was working on that. And within one session I went, when you're doing this work, you will rate it on a scale of one to 10 of how intense it is, whether it's how intense the anxiety is, or how intense the pain is. And then you rate it again at the end, too, or throughout the process to kind of see where you're at and if it's progressing. And from, in that one session of an hour, I went from an eight to a two. And that was enough to like, just blow my mind because I'd been doing all sorts of things to try and feel better. And then this weird tapping thing worked. So, yeah, it's just great when it happens quickly, but, no that is, it can take some time.  

Scott DeLuzio    00:21:24    And what about the consistency with it? Is it something that you should be doing on a daily basis or a weekly or, or whatever, or is it more like a needed kind of thing? Does it get better if you do it more frequently?  

Lauren Fonvielle     00:21:42    Yeah, I mean, I think with any tool, right? We're more apt to use it in the times when we're super stressed out and we need it the most when we're most comfortable using it. And we were most comfortable using a tool that we use all the time. Right. So like I'm always going to say, even a few minutes of tapping a day is going to help. And I think most of us have something to tap on each day, even if it's annoying that you were sitting in traffic, even if that's the least of your problems, there's always something that you can just help let go of through doing it. So I would say the more that you can do it the better,  

Scott DeLuzio    00:22:19    So there's no risk of overdoing it where you may be desensitized to it and it, it doesn't, it's not as affected at that point. Right?  

Lauren Fonvielle     00:22:29    That is not an issue. And there are no negative side effects of it. So there's no, there's no harm in giving it a try. AndI'm one who believes that we've just got to, we have to find what works best for us, and that means exploring different avenues. And so I will always just encourage people to give it a try, even if you're skeptical, even if you think it's weird,give it a try and see if it makes you feel better. I was the same way. I really wanted to understand why this is working. But a lot of times I'll have to remind my clients. I understand that you want to understand why, but let's just take a moment to accept and be grateful that you're feeling better.  

Lauren Fonvielle     00:23:11    I just had a session last week with a woman who was having really bad knee pain and she had never, she had never done tapping before. It was one of my intro workshops. And I asked for volunteers and she volunteered. And she was saying that her pain was at an eight and that she hadn't been able to do much for the last three days because she was in so much pain. So, she was tapping with me and sharing, I was asking questions as the practitioner. My job is to kind of ask questions about the pain. You want to get specific with the issue at hand, as you can. Describing what it feels like. How long she's been dealing with it.  How does it make her feel that she has to put up with, those sorts of things?  

Lauren Fonvielle    00:23:59    And we use the answers to those questions to create those phrases. And as we went through the process and we probably talked maybe 10, 15 minutes, and she just kept on being like, I don't know what's happening. This is really weird. It feels better. It feels better. She was totally blown away by it. And, and she was trying, and I could see the wheels turning, we can continue to explore that, but just let's accept it. Let's just be happy that it's working.

Scott DeLuzio    00:24:32    Well, right. And I think there's going to be a natural curiosity, absolutely going to want to know why this is working? Because that's such a great thing. Especially if you've been dealing with chronic pain or anxiety or you name it, if all of a sudden these things are starting to become less of a problem for you, it's well, that's great. I want to know why let's do more of that, because this is a good thing, right?  

Lauren Fonvielle    00:25:01    Some of it is specifically when we're talking about anxiety and the thoughts, That cycle of thoughts that we can get caught up in. Sometimes that, that can just take up so much space,  thinking the same thing over and over again, beating yourself up with these thoughts. And then when you take the time to tap and say it out loud, there is something about saying it out loud. And then all of a sudden there can be this moment, well, that felt really true a few minutes ago, but now saying it out loud just seems ridiculous. Or it seems silly, or I feel confused. That's another thing that people will say, but allowing yourself to say it out loud, there's sometimes that can be enough to begin to create that shift.  

Scott DeLuzio  00:25:46    That's interesting too because we often will have the thoughts in our head about whatever it is, guilt, shame, you name it. We'll have all these things going on in our head and our minds can be our own worst enemy sometimes. And when you let those thoughts just fester in your own mind, it will probably continue to grow and just get worse and worse. But when you speak it and say these things out loud, you start to hear kind of how ridiculous some of these things,  

Lauren Fonvielle    00:26:24    Right? No, that's exactly it. And it's the same thing with when you think of, I just think of a person running, right? Running from their emotions. Because they don't want to, they don't want to feel them and you get exhausted doing that. Right. And so if we just stop and invite that, that emotion in, and I know that that can be scary for people to really allow yourself to feel whatever it is that can be, a little bit overwhelming, but I promise you you'll move through it a lot faster than you will try and try and outrun it. So,  

Scott DeLuzio    00:26:58    Yeah, that makes sense. Because if, you address the problem instead of running from the problem, if you run from it, the problem is still there. And it's as you said, just going to be chasing you perhaps, in that analogy. But if you stop and address the problem and do something about it, and this is something I, I think I've been advocating people to do not necessarily through tapping this technique necessarily, but through mental health counseling and other things that people can do to address some of these problems. If you do nothing about it, it's not going to get better just magically on its own. You have to do something. And as you said, there's, there's no downside, there's no side effects from trying this technique. So I, as far as that is concerned, I don't see that there's any harm in trying it right.  

Scott DeLuzio   00:27:57  The worst-case scenario is it doesn't work for you or for whatever reason. And you've given yourself a little, a head massage or something like it's done something, but its worst-case scenario is it just doesn't work, but it's worth trying because the best-case scenario is you go from that eight to a two on the pain scale or anxiety scale or whatever the scale is that you're dealing with. And that just seems to me like a chance I'm willing to take and see if it'll work. Why not? Right. Yeah.  

Lauren Fonvielle     00:28:40    It's a powerful process. And I think the best way of learning is by doing and just experiencing it and, and doing, doing some tapping and noticing really, really tuning in to how you're feeling. And that's, that's the one main requirement of, of the practice is that you really need to create the space for you to focus on how you're feeling. So if we're talking, we're gonna work on this anxiety issue. And you're saying, even though I'm feeling so anxious, but you're thinking about what you gotta do tomorrow, it's not going to help you. Right? So you need to allow yourself to really hone in on what's going on.  

Scott DeLuzio   00:29:26    So would people be better off at least initially practicing this with someone like yourself who can guide them through it, as opposed to just starting it on their own. And  

Lauren Fonvielle     00:29:41    So, yes, I mean, there are, if you go on YouTube or even not like I have a YouTube page too, but if you go on YouTube and you type in EFT and anxiety or EFT physical pain or whatever your issue is, you'll find a tap along video that you can do. However, doing that, it's not as helpful when you're not using your own words, it's most effective when you are using your own words to really tune into your specific issue. No one's going to know about you about the thought that comes up, that's related to something that happened years ago, right. And then going into detail with that. When you're dealing with, when you're dealing with, with trauma or bigger issues or longer-lasting issues, I would always recommend working with a certified practitioner, to help you through that process and guide you through that process.  

Lauren Fonvielle     00:30:43    Because as a beginner with this, it can be challenging to figure out, Well,  what should I say? I mean, that's, that's the most common question that I get when I'm first working with people. I don't know what to say. I'm sad, don't worry. I got you, we're just gonna talk. And then and then that's the way it works. We talk, I come up with a phrase, we make sure that you feel good about that phrase. If at any point the practitioner says something that doesn't feel right or authentic to you, you can change those words and we just go step by step through the process and see where it goes. So, yeah, I think, I always think working with a practitioner and me, myself as a practitioner works with practitioners because I find it so helpful.  

Scott DeLuzio    00:31:24    Well, that's good to know too, that there are people out there who can do this is, and for people who are interested in learning more about what you do and potentially working with you, as well as sPR practitioner, where can people go to learn more about this practice learn more about what you do and everything else that you offer?  

Lauren Fonvielle     00:31:49    Absolutely. So my website is mindshiftwithlauren.com . So you can go there and check me out. I do have a masterclass available. So it's mindshiftwithlauren.com/masterclass. And that's a free master class where you can get all the, more of the details about tapping. And then I'm also available for free consultations. And that can be set up by visiting talk with lauren.com  

Scott DeLuzio    00:32:19    And are the consultations things like you could do through zoom or something, or is it something that you do in person?  

Lauren Fonvielle    00:32:26    Yes. That is done through all, all through zoom and we can chat about whatever specifics, you've got going on and, see if, see if working together as a, is a good fit.  

Scott DeLuzio    00:32:38    Well, that sounds great. I'm glad that you came on the show and, and shared this technique. One of the things that I like to do on this podcast is share different resources that are available for people that aren't your traditional, but the things that people typically think of when they're, they're dealing with anxiety or pain or things like that, where, because there's some people who have tried those, those traditional things that talk therapy that, pain management techniques and other things like that. And, sometimes it just doesn't work for them. And so when there is something else out there that could work to me, it just seems like it is worthwhile to give it a try and see if it will help these people, and the more options that are available, the more likely it is that someone's going to find something that works for them.  

Scott DeLuzio   00:33:43    And so that's, that's kind of why I wanted to have you on the show and share this, technique so that it's just one more tool that, that people can have available to them and potentially use if it seems like the right thing for their particular circumstance. So, I'm glad that you were able to come on and share this with the audience another tool now that people can use,, if they weren't previously aware of this, it's something now that, that they can do and it's, it's easy enough. They can, they can do it themselves, in the privacy of their own home. It's not like they have to go make an appointment at an acupuncture place or a therapist or any of that kind of stuff.  

Scott DeLuzio    00:34:35    They can do it when they need it. just right at that, that time. And I think it's definitely worthwhile to look into for anyone who's out there, who's struggling with any of these things, stress, anxiety, physical pain, any of that kind of stuff. Just give it a try and not too many tools in the toolbox. Right. Exactly. And, and if we, if we approach all of our problems, this is something my father has said for years. If the only tool that you have in your toolbox is a hammer, you're going to approach all your problems as if they're a nail. And so when the only tools that you have available are things that may not necessarily be working for you, it's worthwhile to try a different tool and see if that works for you.  

Scott DeLuzio    00:35:30    And that's exactly what I wanted to get across with people here today with, with this particular episode and, and get a message across.  I'm really grateful for you coming on and sharing what it is that you do, and for anyone who's listening, the links that Lauren had talked about earlier in the episode will be in the show notes to her YouTube page, her, her website, and everything else. So you can, you can find her, through there and find more information and see if this is the right thing for you.  

Lauren Fonvielle    00:36:04    Perfect. I can also send you a PDF that you can include that has a visual of where all the points are too for people, but so people can check that out.  

Scott DeLuzio   00:36:13    That would be excellent. Yeah. And so I'll include that in the show notes as well. And then, then that way people can kind of have that guide to take with them and, and use that on their own. So, so be on the lookout for that in the show notes, I'll be sure to include that. And Lauren, thank you again, it's been an absolute pleasure speaking with you. I'm really, again, glad, for the opportunity to speak with you and have you on the show.  

Lauren Fonvielle    00:36:37    Yeah. Thank you so much for having me. This has been great. I appreciate it.  

Scott DeLuzio    00:36:42    Thanks for listening to the Drive On Podcast. If you want to check out more episodes or learn more about the show, you can visit our website driveonpodcast.com. We're also on Instagram, Facebook, Twitter, LinkedIn, and YouTube at DriveOnPodcast.

]]> 00:37:06 <![CDATA[Overcoming Tragedy]]> Tue, 01 Feb 2022 08:00:00 +0000 Scott DeLuzio https://permalink.castos.com/podcast/2296/episode/866335 Tripp Bodenheimer is currently serving in the US Air Force and is also the host of The Shadows Podcast. In this episode, we talk about tragedies encountered in Tripp's childhood and how they shaped who he is and what he does today.

Links & Resources

Transcript

Scott DeLuzio  00:00:00    Thanks for tuning into a Drive On Podcast where we're focused on giving hope and strength to the entire military community, whether you're a veteran active duty guard reserve or family member, this podcast we'll share inspirational stories and resources that are useful to you. I'm your host, Scott DeLuzio. And now let's get on with the show. Everybody will come back to the Drive On Podcast. Today, my guest is Tripp Bodenheimer.Tripp is currently serving in the US Air Force and is also the host of the Shadows podcast. We're going to talk about Tripp's childhood and how it shaped who he is and what he does today. So welcome to the show Tripp. 

Tripp Bodenheimer    00:00:40   I  Appreciate you having me.  

Scott DeLuzio   00:00:42    Hey yeah, absolutely. I'm glad to have you. Why don't you tell the audience people who may or may not know who you are and may not be familiar with you and your podcast, tell a little bit about who you are and everything.  

Tripp Bodenheimer   00:00:56    Yeah. So, who I am, currently I am, a little past 12 years in the United States Air Force. I came in as a calm guy, working on computers, joined a little bit later, joined at 29. So I got a little bit of real-world experience under my belt and then decided to join the military. I was stationed in Arizona, went to Germany for six years, which was the best six years of my life. And while I was over there, they asked me if I wanted to be a part of what the Air Force calls, developmental special duty program or DSD, and basically being an instructor for young airmen and getting them ready to supervise. And I did that for three years. Loved it. And just, I was myself, I wasn't playing the role of an instructor or anything.  

Tripp Bodenheimer   00:01:43    It was just me and that landed me a spot in the Alabama fair off Germany at Alabama. I ended up moving over here with my family and I am now the instructor for the instructors. So I teach all enlisted professional military education instructors in the Air Force. When they get picked up in the DSD process, they come through our course and we teach them, basically the fundamentals of how to teach questioning techniques, active listening. Non-verbals verbals mean all that stuff such as multitasking and time management. So yeah, and then I'm married. I've been married to my wife for 14 years. two daughters, my youngest daughter, 13 still lives with us here in Alabama. And, that's a pretty important part of who I am. And then, like you said, the Shadows Podcast, which has been around now for we're looking at, almost a year and a half, which is crazy. Because, as well as I do, like it's, there's a lot that goes into podcasts. And so to be hanging around that, that long is a kind of, self high-five, I guess.  

Scott DeLuzio  00:02:53    You definitely deserve a high five for that because there's some podcasts. What, what is it not even 10 or so episodes that they average that number. Yeah. And so to be able to sit around for, for that long is pretty impressive. Any podcaste...

]]> full 146 false Tripp Bodenheimer is currently serving in the US Air Force and is also the host of The Shadows Podcast. In this episode, we talk about tragedies encountered in Tripp's childhood and how they shaped who he is and what he does today.

Links & Resources

Transcript

Scott DeLuzio  00:00:00    Thanks for tuning into a Drive On Podcast where we're focused on giving hope and strength to the entire military community, whether you're a veteran active duty guard reserve or family member, this podcast we'll share inspirational stories and resources that are useful to you. I'm your host, Scott DeLuzio. And now let's get on with the show. Everybody will come back to the Drive On Podcast. Today, my guest is Tripp Bodenheimer.Tripp is currently serving in the US Air Force and is also the host of the Shadows podcast. We're going to talk about Tripp's childhood and how it shaped who he is and what he does today. So welcome to the show Tripp. 

Tripp Bodenheimer    00:00:40   I  Appreciate you having me.  

Scott DeLuzio   00:00:42    Hey yeah, absolutely. I'm glad to have you. Why don't you tell the audience people who may or may not know who you are and may not be familiar with you and your podcast, tell a little bit about who you are and everything.  

Tripp Bodenheimer   00:00:56    Yeah. So, who I am, currently I am, a little past 12 years in the United States Air Force. I came in as a calm guy, working on computers, joined a little bit later, joined at 29. So I got a little bit of real-world experience under my belt and then decided to join the military. I was stationed in Arizona, went to Germany for six years, which was the best six years of my life. And while I was over there, they asked me if I wanted to be a part of what the Air Force calls, developmental special duty program or DSD, and basically being an instructor for young airmen and getting them ready to supervise. And I did that for three years. Loved it. And just, I was myself, I wasn't playing the role of an instructor or anything.  

Tripp Bodenheimer   00:01:43    It was just me and that landed me a spot in the Alabama fair off Germany at Alabama. I ended up moving over here with my family and I am now the instructor for the instructors. So I teach all enlisted professional military education instructors in the Air Force. When they get picked up in the DSD process, they come through our course and we teach them, basically the fundamentals of how to teach questioning techniques, active listening. Non-verbals verbals mean all that stuff such as multitasking and time management. So yeah, and then I'm married. I've been married to my wife for 14 years. two daughters, my youngest daughter, 13 still lives with us here in Alabama. And, that's a pretty important part of who I am. And then, like you said, the Shadows Podcast, which has been around now for we're looking at, almost a year and a half, which is crazy. Because, as well as I do, like it's, there's a lot that goes into podcasts. And so to be hanging around that, that long is a kind of, self high-five, I guess.  

Scott DeLuzio  00:02:53    You definitely deserve a high five for that because there's some podcasts. What, what is it not even 10 or so episodes that they average that number. Yeah. And so to be able to sit around for, for that long is pretty impressive. Any podcaster I should say, who sticks with it, for any extended period of time, obviously has a passion for what it is that they're doing. They must enjoy it because it's so easy to just pull the plug and walk away from it. If you're not enjoying it, there's no reason to continue doing it. So, it's not really easy to do so, so it's obvious that you're enjoying what you're doing and, and the work that goes into it. Sometimes  I know, and we were talking earlier before we started recording, but I know sometimes the work can be tedious, and sometimes, it isn't the easiest thing to do, but ultimately when you look at the big picture it's worthwhile.  

Scott DeLuzio   00:03:54    So, I'm glad you're sticking with it and we'll get more into the podcast and a little bit, but first I want to, go back into your childhood. I mentioned a little bit earlier, a little bit about your childhood and I want to talk about your family and, but the couple of major tragedies that you had at such a young age. Would you be able to share some of those experiences and your childhood and what that was all like, paint that picture for us?  

Tripp Bodenheimer  00:04:25    Yeah, absolutely. And first of all, podcasts like yours are very good, like therapeutic methods for things that people have been through,  experiences. And For the longest time, I kept my story bottled up and it was just not something I wanted to share. And actually, it was, an article, that I posted for another podcast, and then coming on there and speaking is kind of what got my podcast started. But, I was like, wow, the power of storytelling is crazy. I grew up in North Carolina, grew up in Lumberton, North Carolina for most of my life. My father was a defense attorney. He was very successful. And, it was, I just had like a perfect life. Like we had we were living the white picket fence, the American dream.  

Tripp Bodenheimer    00:05:18    We had a really nice house. So it was in a good school system, had all my friends, I had not a worry in life. And then, our story kind of took a weird turn. It was like September of 92. I was in fifth grade. So I think that'll tell everybody my age. But yeah, I woke up on like a Saturday or Sunday morning and my parents said we're moving to Mount Pleasant, South Carolina. And, as a kid, you're like a timeout. I'm in fifth grade, I've got this girlfriend, we're going to get married. We're going to be together forever. I have all my best friends here. What, why are you altering my life so much? And, I wasn't in the know at that age and my sister and I, the next thing we know, we move within a month and go to South Carolina.  

Tripp Bodenheimer   00:06:07    My dad got hired at a technology company,  I think was the name of it. And we go down there, we start going to a new school, making new friends.  I'm having to go through the whole transition of the new guy at the school. Kids were brutal in early 93, my goodness. We moved down there and life was good. And my father was like, you couldn't get a better dad. Like you honestly couldn't. And I mean, I take pride in being a father. The number one thing in my life is being a dad. It's no more entitled. That you asked me my titles before military members, husband, father came up and my dad just, he would come home from work and he would get changed out of his suit. And the next thing, he would go outside and start playing basketball with me.  

Tripp Bodenheimer   00:07:02    And then my sister would be upstairs and he would go upstairs and he would start, she would play like school with her dolls and stuff. And this is before smartphones and all this other stuff. So you had to use your imagination. So she would have all her stuffed animals set up and he was like the principal of her school. And then he would go play SuperNet, endo games with me, and stuff. And it was just very hands-on. And then around eight o'clock, you would settle down and you know him, my mom would watch TV or what have you. And, some of the things we do it'd be like ride bikes, I said, or play basketball. I remember we were riding bikes and my father was, he stopped. And he started, he pulled out this brown bag out of his pocket and he started breathing in it.  

Tripp Bodenheimer   00:07:42    And I'm just so confused. You're winded from riding a bike. And he's, no, I'm fine., Hey, but between me and you just keep this between, just don't tell him, I don't want to freak out. He's my best friend. I'm like, all right, I'm loyal. I'm not a snitch. I'm gonna look out for you. So we start playing basketball a couple of days or weeks later, and he does the same thing. And this went on for maybe four or five times. And, every time I was just like, she didn't say anything. So January, well, no, this is actually June of 93. We were, it was on a Sunday. He was mowing the yard and he comes in and my mom ends up bringing him back to the bedroom, basically strips them down, and starts putting cold, washcloths, and stuff on them.  

Tripp Bodenheimer   00:08:32    And she's like, I think he had a little heatstroke on the yard and I didn't think anything of it. I was like, oh, he'll be fine. He's my dad. He's invincible. And about two weeks later, I was, I think this was a Tuesday night. It was June 23rd, 1993. And I'm upstairs. We had this huge, playroom area. So I'm upstairs. My sister and I are up there playing, I hear this loud side. And my sisters go downstairs and see that it's fine. It's probably mom in the kitchen or something. And she runs downstairs and then she screams and I end up running down behind her and we look, and my dad had basically, he was sitting on the recliner, watching television with my mom and he stood up and he just, he had a heart attack right in front of her.  

Tripp Bodenheimer    00:09:19    And he fell, collapsed right in front of her. So we ran downstairs and then the next thing was just a blur, trying to revive him. We were kind of herded back to my parents' bedroom. And I just remember sitting there and, this is 11 years old. My life is forever changed. it'll never, that normal life will never be the same again. Even if he recovers and it was a roll when I, after that, the next, gosh, I think it was 17 days or something like that. Like I said, my mass sprayed off, but it was the 9th of June, or excuse me of July. He passed away and. He just had a heart attack. He had smoked, he had a lot of stress.  

Tripp Bodenheimer   00:10:09    I had noticed thinking back, like his neck would get really red and I would ask him about it. And he's like, that's from shaving. I didn't know that I was 11 years old. I didn't know anything about shaving.  After that, we pretty much lost our house. We were in this little apartment in South Carolina and I'm 11 years old and I'm now the man of the house and I'm grocery shopping and learning how to budget money. And I'm learning how to pay bills with my mom and staying up late, seeing her stress about stuff I've never had to worry about. And I'm like, what is this? So I grew up really quickly and we left South Carolina because my mom wanted to get another job. The cost of living in South Carolina was too much. So we ended up going back to Lumberton.  

Tripp Bodenheimer    00:11:00    We had a support system there too for my mom. She didn't have a strong support system in South Carolina. She didn't work that much at first. She was kind of an at-home mom, but we ended up going back to Lumberton and I was happy. My friends were there. We had a new house and everything. And my sister just really got in with the wrong crew and my sister Myers. And she never really got over my father passing. She struggled with it and we both did, but we never really talked about it. Let's get it, I don't think we really knew how to talk about it. And we really didn't bring it up much. We would bring up little memories of him, but it was just there wasn't a whole lot of discussion.  

Tripp Bodenheimer    00:11:46    And it wasn't a lot of, I don't know. I think we just got caught up in our lives in school. How it isn't sixth, seventh, or eighth grade. That's your life. And we, you said she got mixed up in the wrong group. And she was actually sexually assaulted at a party and came on and told me about it.  And then she started to get bullied and picked on for it afterwards. It got to the point where she would hide when the school bus would come. She would go outside like to wait on it. My mom would leave, go to work. And then Myers would come back inside because of the ridicule and everything she caught, the second she entered that school bus. It was just, it was traumatic to her and people were laughing at her, but nobody helped her.  

Tripp Bodenheimer    00:12:39    And I kept talking to her and telling her, Hey, things will be fine. You can get through this. Well, she ended up turning to drugs. She turned to alcohol, she started smoking. And a lot of this was behind my mom's back, knowing nothing about it, later on, I told my mom and she said, I had no idea.  But it was the same thing he said, Hey don't say nothing to mom about this. And then there were some suicidal tendencies as well in the whole time. She's 13, 14 years old and we were 18 months apart. So for me, it was hard and it was the arguments that were going on at the house. And it was just a toxic environment. This was a toxic home life because my mom's just lost her husband.  

Tripp Bodenheimer    00:13:28     My sister is unraveling right before us, and I had no idea how to handle any of this. I've just been told, keep secrets from everybody. And so I was trying to stay out. I was, I was tired of secrets. I was just trying to, I would go to my room and kind of do my own thing. Well, my mom had met this guy, probably the nicest man ever to walk the face of the earth. She met this guy, Alan Simmons. He lived in Sumter, South Carolina. They dated for a while. And then, some or 98 were supposed to move to South Carolina. And, I had a little girlfriend in South Carolina and my sister had this, this guy that she was dating or excuse me, North Carolina. And both of them were, we're not looking forward to that hour, drive up the road.  

Tripp Bodenheimer   00:14:19     I might as well be going to Germany. We're never going to be together. Oh my gosh, all this stuff. high school love. And I remember I was hanging out with my girlfriend and Myers was hanging out with her boyfriend and we went to Red Springs to visit my grandfather and to visit the burial site, my dad. And on the way back, that was the last time I saw her and her boyfriend kind of took off on the road. That night she called me and we were supposed to be at my grandmother's house and we're going to get the next morning mode. And she called me and she said, Hey, I'm going to be a little late., I'm going to be hanging out with my boyfriend.  

Tripp Bodenheimer   00:14:59    But, just want to tell you, we've made it through this. We're about to get a clean start. I just wanna let you know, I love you. And I was kinda weird. And I don't tell my sister, 14 years old, 16 years old, we don't tell each other, we love each other. And then I was like, all right, well, I love you. Love you too. And I hung up the phone. I went to my grandmother's house and didn't think anything of it went to bed. And that morning, I woke up and I was upstairs and I could kind of hear because the stairwell was right by the bedroom. And I could hear my mom and my grandparents talking. My mom, she said, where's Meyer's at, I have no idea where she's at.  

Tripp Bodenheimer    00:15:44    I haven't heard from her, I go back to bed and then, here, someone at the door, someone talking to them and I thought it was kind of weird. And they said, Myers has been, I do hear she'd been involved in an accident and my mom starts crying and I'm thinking they got in a wreck, they got in a car wreck. She's going to be fine. She's probably banged up, bruised up, but I didn't want to run downstairs and, what happened? What happened? So I stayed up there and my mom came up and she came and woke me up and she said, Hey, uh, we need to talk. And she's fighting back her tears. And she says, Myers has been in an accident. I said, okay. She is all right. She's said she's been shot. And I said, oh, what? And she said, yeah, she, basically it was, it was a murder-suicide.  

Tripp Bodenheimer    00:16:39    And she was, unfortunately, taken from us August 23rd, 1998. And, they'd pulled off on a log-in trail. Found drugs there, there was Coke at the scene and everything, but when the cops arrived, her boyfriend had turned the gun on himself and they were, she was already gone. But yeah, unfortunately, we lost both of them. And, after that, it was I'm 16 years old. I'm like, what in the world has happened to my life. So it made me question everything. It made me question my religion. It made me question any and everything. And that was it. And now on top of that, we had just moved or we were starting a move to South Carolina. So the 24th, 25th, those days,, it was, it was a world might've people. I don't even remember who I talked to.  

Tripp Bodenheimer    00:17:41    I don't remember anyone coming up to me, everybody comes up to you. And what do you say to someone when that's happened? I'm so sorry. I'm here. I mean, there's really not a lot you can say. And, I just remember a week later, I'm starting school at a brand new high school in South Carolina as a junior. And right when I pulled up to the school, it was crazy because she loved that song. "I Don't Want to Miss a Thing'' by Aerosmith was a big song at that time. And I pulled up to school and I'm sitting there and just 3000 people at Sumter high school are sitting in the parking lot. I gotta go in here and I'm on now. I've got to go in here and start. And that song came on the radio and I lost it.  

Tripp Bodenheimer   00:18:27    Absolutely lost it. And, I can't be seen crying in high school.  pride and ego and all this sort of the white, my tears, I go into the school. I walked in there too, and they had her student ID as the screensaver on the computer. And I lost it again. And I was just oh my gosh, cause we'd already been there and taken our school IDs and stuff. And, it was hard. It was really, really hard. And my sister, my older sister, she's taken it a lot worse than me, but for me, it's, it's been something that I've, I've struggled with. I've actually, if I were to say how well I've handled it on a scale of one to 10, believe it or not, everything I've been through, I would say honestly, probably about an eight, cause I've just kept moving forward and it's actually, it's part of my story.  

Tripp Bodenheimer   00:19:24    And it's unfortunate, but it may sound weird, but I do look at the time that I had with them, the 11 years of how with my dad and the 14 years ahead with my sister and people will look at this story and they're oh my gosh, I can't believe you went through all that. I feel so bad for you. My heart breaks, I look at it like I was lucky. I had 11 years and 14 years with them and I was fortunate for what I had and what I was given and the memories I still take away. I still hear my dad's voice. I still hear my sister's voice. I can still smell them. I can still hear my sister laugh., I can still hear my dad. I'm out there playing basketball with me and stuff. So I can, I still have those memories and I'm thankful that I still have those. That was, that was pretty much my upbringing.  

Scott DeLuzio    00:20:12    Those memories that you're talking about are things that will last a lifetime. It's been years since then, but years and years but you'll still have those memories. They're important pieces of who you are and, while those experiences are certainly tragic in and of themselves, add in how young you were plus, the frequent moving and everything else that you had going on in your life. It kind of makes it more of a volatile situation for such a young person to be going through all that.

Tripp Bodenheimer    00:20:58    I just wanted to add a kind of piggyback of what you're saying. One thing I can honestly sit here and say is, probably, just as proud as anything else that I've achieved during that whole time. I never turned to drugs. I never turned to alcohol. I'm sitting here 39 years old. I've never been drunk a day in my life. I've never tried a drug. I've never attempted to take my life or anything.  I put my head up and, and it can't move them forward. That's like one of my big things to anyone out there is, no matter what you're going through, if you keep your head up, you'll be surprised, which you can put, you can achieve and you can get through. And this was way before mental health was at the forefront. This is before talking to people like you, you don't do that. You don't go to an agency. You don't go to a doctor or anything like that. It's just that. I just wanted to throw that out there. I'm sorry.  

Scott DeLuzio   00:22:03    No, that's really something to be proud of. But, and you're right. back then, it was not something that was encouraged for you to go and talk to somebody, that was for, quote, unquote, crazy people to go, like you had to be really messed up to go. And padded rooms and the whole nine yards like that, that level is, what we're talking about back then, kind of painting that picture for people who maybe weren't around back then or were too young to really realize the situation back then. But, when you were talking about moving in the fifth grade, I also moved in the fifth grade and it wasn't as far as what you did, it was just a town over, but still, it felt it might as well have been to another country because it's brutal. It's not like you can just hop in your own car and go visit your friends that you used to hang out with any time you want, because you have to wait for your parents to go over there and everything. And then those friendships fade and they draw apart and all that kind of stuff.  

Scott DeLuzio   00:23:15    I know what you're going through with that.  Going to a new school, being the new kid is an uncomfortable time too. A few years before that I had lost my grandmother, who I was very close to. I was seven at that point. So I was what, two or three years before that time period., I remember that initial shock and disbelief of losing her. And it was something that affected me for quite a bit quite a while after that. I don't know if it was because she was the first person that I knew who I was close to who passed away, or not. But,, but that was a tough pill to swallow. I can't imagine having two people like you, your father and your sister who you're close to passing just a matter of a few years from each other, especially unexpectedly that way.  

Scott DeLuzio    00:24:10    in my grandmother's case, she was battling cancer. And, and so at, at some point, it became kind of expected. We knew at some point she wasn't going to make it. It was just a matter of time, but in your case, that's, that's just like ripping off a really, really shitty band-aid, that, that it's like instant and it's, it's painful and it hurts and it's, it's awful. and so I think I can't imagine going through all of that all at the same time. You mentioned that you didn't turn to drugs, you didn't turn to alcohol, you didn't, you didn't have any suicidal thoughts or anything like that. What were some of the coping skills that you used to get through that time?  

Tripp Bodenheimer   00:24:59    That's a really good question. Some of the coping skills I have, first of all, I've always been close to my mom. I've always been close to my mom.  I've always been able to talk to her about anything and everything, my older sister. So definitely my family helped me out a lot. I've always made friends wherever I've gone. So I've always stayed in sports, helped me out. I loved playing basketball from a young age, so, coming home and going out in the driveway with my friends and playing basketball, I had a really good group that lived in my neighborhood. And, people like Alan Gentry, the Caldwell family, I mean, these are people that just really, knew my story, never brought it up, never talked about, to talk to me about it.  

Tripp Bodenheimer   00:25:48    And it was just, they were, they were phenomenal just to be around it kind of an escape. And so definitely sports, definitely a strong support system and doing things. I like just hobbies, hobbies, just, kind of taking that time from me, just spending time doing what interests me. And that's something that even now I like with podcasting, it's a hobby, it's something that I like doing, and it's something that's therapeutic. It kind of gets your mind away from things. So I would definitely tell everybody out there that if you feel like you're, you're having to turn to other things. Just look deep down within you and find who are those people you enjoy talking to? Who are those people that you can be present with and enjoy their company and get lost in the time, get lost in the conversation.  

Tripp Bodenheimer   00:26:39    And then we all liked that little bit of us time to find things you like doing, whether it's a book, working out, getting engaged in sport. I don't even believe it or not like sports. I don't even let it bother me now. If my teams lose, there's a bigger picture of life. Then, the Tar Heels lost last night. To me, that's not important stuff to me anymore. And I do see people get bent out of shape about that. But, yeah, one thing is funny. You're talking about fifth-grade moving. I remember we went from North Carolina, so my dad went to North Carolina and he played football at North Carolina and Chapel Hill. So I go to school in South Carolina, I got North Carolina bag and all the Clemson, South Carolina people, it was like gang warfare.  

Tripp Bodenheimer    00:27:29   I got over there. That was my bullying that I received was not because of my haircut or because of the way I looked or anything like that. It was simply because I was a Tar Heels fan. And I honestly got in fights at school because of that. It got to the point where I'd come home. My dad would actually teach me how to fight. This is how you defend yourself. This is how you fight. Just find stuff you like get a good support system and that, right now with social media, like it is, you can reach out to old people, old friends, old high school friends and old college buddies and, people you've served within, there's lots of I've, I've got good support systems right now, Angels 14, every Friday afternoon for veterans., we have, we have a zoom call and we get on there and we just talk and you'd be surprised what we help each other get through. and then I have a family with the Lima Charlie network. We really are family. It's good to have resources like that available. And then mental health. I'm a huge proponent of mental health as well.  

Scott DeLuzio   00:28:39    Yeah. And those are great things. And we've talked about hobbies and things like that on this podcast before where people get involved with artwork or music or whatever the thing is that is their thing. I mean, those are the two obvious examples that always jumped to the top of my head. So I always say those, but I mean, it really could be anything. Yeah. It could be baking, it could be working on a car. It could be, mechanics or whatever it could be  

Tripp Bodenheimer    00:29:11    Working out. That's a good analogy.  

Scott DeLuzio    00:29:14    That's excellent. That's an excellent way to do it. The crazy thing is, and I know this from personal experience after you've been out of shape, you get out of the military and you get the DD 214 body, you're getting out of shape. And, you just finally decided to get off the couch and go for a run. I remember when I first moved out here to Arizona, I went out for a run and I think I was maybe a half-mile into the run and I stopped. And I was about to puke my brains out because it was just, I was sucking so bad and it was so terrible. But then I said, what, I'm going to, I'm going to do it again. But I forget if it was the next day or the day after whatever it was.  

Scott DeLuzio   00:30:06    And I went out again and I went for another run and another run and another run, and I just got better and better and better to the point where I can, I can run long distances and never feel that way anymore. It doesn't always feel the best,  it challenges me and I like it. I'm not, I've never felt like  I was just going to puke anymore after, after that. So it's definitely a challenge, but it makes your body better and it makes you, not, not just your physical health, but your mental health as well. When you challenge yourself and you, you achieve a goal,, say I'm going to, I'm going to run a X number of miles, or I'm going to lift X amount of weight or whatever it is. If you challenge yourself and you push yourself, it feels good. And it gives you that little boost, an event that feels good, whatever it is that makes you feel good

Tripp Bodenheimer  00:31:09    Yeah. Well, it's your, your body is a table and we hear it in the military all the time, but you have your four pillars, you have your, your mental, your spiritual, your emotional, and your social. And a lot of times, if one of those, it's just one of those four is the slightest bit off that table's going to get a little wobbly and you start putting stuff on top of it. So you start putting daily tasks, kids have basketball practice, they have theater practice. You have this appointment, you have to do it, you have bills that you have to do. You start putting stuff on top of that table. And it starts getting really wonky. Now, something in my case where, for example, I had so many unfortunate things happen at such a young age, boom, that the spirit is already knocked out.  

Tripp Bodenheimer    00:32:03    The mental one, emotional there, that table could collapse. If you throw too much on top of it, you need to strengthen us because they do play into each other. So what you're saying,, even like the physical piece, get off the couch, go run and set little goals. Don't think that you're going to look like Dwayne Johnson in a month. And don't think that you're gonna be able to run in the Boston marathon after two weeks, just go outside in your neighborhood and say, all right.  I want to make it to the end of the block once without being winded. And then I want to be able to, my goal is to make it to the end of the block and back without being winded and just set little goals like that. Don't, don't go out there and try to set the world on fire with your physical feats, just take baby steps.  

Tripp Bodenheimer   00:32:54    And you'll be surprised like you said, what it does to your mind and your confidence. And then once you start getting healthy and one of those pills, and this goes for any of them, it starts to trickle down to the other one. And the next thing, you've got that solid Oak table that can withstand any and everything. Even when adversity does come your way, Hey, I've, I've failed so many times in life. It is a part of life. You'd be naive to think that you're going to live to 80 years old and not fail every month of every year, it's going to happen. So you just, you take it as a lesson, learned, you bounce back and you get stronger in those pillars. And, people around you start seeing it too. And it starts to rub off on others.  

Scott DeLuzio    00:33:39    Yeah, it does. And if you're in a toxic environment where everyone is not doing well mentally or whatever, you're going to end up slipping down that path too, because you kind of fall in line with whatever is going on in your environment. And so, maybe having someone, be the catalyst that, that helps change, that environment could help other people because it works the other way too, because if you start having people with a positive attitude, positive mindset, and that's what you're constantly around, then, then that will bring the other people around. And maybe they'll start seeing the more positive things and at being more positive and more, healthier mentally and everything like that, to say  

Tripp Bodenheimer    00:34:28    It's more energy to be negative.  

Scott DeLuzio  00:34:31    Yeah. I mean it does, but sometimes it can also be an easy thing sometimes.  

Scott DeLuzio   00:34:40    Yeah. If it's easy to just blow up and just have this negative outlook on life and, oh, it's not my fault that, that such and such happens. It's everyone else's fault or anyone else, but it's their fault that all this stuff, bad stuff is happening to me.  And if you have that kind of outlook on life, that's really easy to do, to just point the finger and blame other people. It's hard to look at yourself and say, what, maybe I need to change. Maybe it's me that needs to change. I need to do this. But once you do that, then life gets easier. That's when you start making those changes. So that bad stuff doesn't happen. You start making that a part of your life and a part of your routine, where were you booking on yourself and say, okay, what can I do to change the situation? And sometimes the answer is nothing. Like sometimes there are going to be things that are out of your control and there's nothing you can do to change it. That's fine control  

Tripp Bodenheimer    00:35:43    What you can control.  

Scott DeLuzio    00:35:44    Exactly. But look at that stuff that you can control and, and try to make it the best situation that you can make it be without pointing fingers and blaming other people and making excuses, do your thing and make it the best that you can make it.  

Tripp Bodenheimer    00:36:01    I read something in a book the other day. It is actually a biography of Val Kilmer's biography. He's going through something like throat cancer and all this stuff. And he said the universe is rejection is the universe is protection. And I live by that.I love that quote. If I was to get a quote tattooed on me right now, that would probably be the one because everything I've been through has set me up for something or it has helped me avoid something. And sometimes these things happen and you're oh, life is so bad. Why does my life stink to set you up for something else? And, I mean, you, you could probably even relate to your story. You go through stuff and you get put through the wringer and you were like, why, why in the world? You're gifted, amazing people that come in and out of your life and everything is setting you up for something bigger. You just gotta know when to see it and what to do with it.  

Scott DeLuzio    00:37:00    It is. And  I like you, when my brother first passed away, I struggled a lot. I struggled with my faith and everything. It was a really hard time for me. I have a lot of different problems, but I eventually came to the conclusion that everything happens for a reason. You may not like it, it may be a tough pill to swallow, but all of the things that happen will lead you down a path to make you ultimately a better person. Absolutely. And you may not like to hear that, especially when you're talking about something as tragic as losing a loved one, how could you possibly be better off without that person? Right. Like that. But to me that took a long time to compete, I don't know that I would be doing the things that I'm doing today.  

Scott DeLuzio  00:37:54    helping out the veterans, helping out doing the podcast and everything. I don't know that I would be as passionate about the things that I'm doing,  had it not been for that experience and it's not, and it's not to say, I'm glad that things happened the way they did because certainly, I'm not. Let's look at the positives again. What can we control? I can't control the fact that my brother is gone. I, that's, that's done. It happened and I can't bring him back. So let's look at the positive side of whatever the situation is and that's about as good as it gets right now. And, and so when I'm looking at it, it could be worse, right? It definitely could be worse than the situation that I'm finding me in.  

Scott DeLuzio   00:38:44    And so I think, I think that that's a healthy way to look at it is just trying to find the positives in even the crappiest of situations. Even when, when we had the Afghanistan withdrawal a few months ago and, that was, and especially for people, anyone who served over in Afghanistan that was such a bad time, it was not an easy thing to deal with. But,  when you look at that situation and, and you think about the good stuff that we did over there,  we took the fight over there, to the enemy, and we prevented future nine 11 kinds of attacks here in the United States. So think about all the Americans that are still alive because those texts didn't take place here and stuff. So, yeah, it sucks that we lost whatever 7,000 or so people over in Afghanistan, that's a tragedy, but how many more would there have been here at home? Exactly. Had we not done anything? So, you can look at it that way,  

Tripp Bodenheimer  00:39:55    Tragedies at jigsaw puzzles you play around with it enough, it turns into triumph. You've just got to figure out how to do it.  

Scott DeLuzio   00:40:04    Yeah. You just, the pieces have to fit together the right way and fall, fall in line. Yeah. And sometimes it's one of those hard thousand-piece jigsaw puzzle. It's not like  

Tripp Bodenheimer    00:40:14    There's patience, everything that goes into it.  

Scott DeLuzio   00:40:16    Yeah, exactly. So as you mentioned earlier, you're in the Air Force and you joined a little bit later on in life. What ultimately led you to joining the military?  

Tripp Bodenheimer   00:40:31    That's a good story. So I finished high school. I was following my mom's career path. Most people can probably relate to that following what your parents want you to do. And my mom wanted me to be successful. She wasn't doing anything wrong. It's just her expectations of my life and mine. Weren't exactly lining up at the time. And, so I went to college. I didn't really want to be in college. It has been two years since losing my sister. I still wasn't in a good spot. And it took me a while to really get my feet under me with what I wanted to do. And I went to school for physical therapy as an assistant, and I was doing that and I was, I've always been kind of a workaholic. The second I found out that if you work, you make money.  

Tripp Bodenheimer  00:41:16    And if you lay in bed, you don't. I was like, Ooh, sign me up. So I started working at a YMCA. I was a personal trainer. I worked for a milk company. I was actually a milkman. I worked, oh my gosh. I think I tried to be an insurance salesman. At one point I was all these little jobs to try to figure out what fit for me and physical therapy. Personal training was good. It allowed me to live comfortably for a while. But then I started working at Red Lobster and I was working there and I was doing really well. And, that's where I met my wife. And in the back of my mind, my dad served in the Navy. My grandfather served in the army and I had always had this little internal conflict of how do I compare to my dad?  

Tripp Bodenheimer    00:42:05   My dad went to North Carolina, Chapel Hill, he played football. He joined the Navy. He went to Campbell Law School. I'm working at Red Lobster and nothing against Red Lobster. But it got to the point where I was just like, let me go talk to a recruiter and see what options are available. And my recruiter honestly was honest with me from day one. He really was, look, you're going to come in. You're going to be the oldest guy in there, but you're going to be told to sweep dirt. You're going to be a piglet. And I take out the trash and do all this little stuff for a couple of years, but depending on how much you put into it, you can rank up and trust me, it will pay off if you're good, it's a relationship. If you're good to the Air Force, she'll be good to you.  

Tripp Bodenheimer    00:42:54    And, in kind of like what my, my commander likes to say now, he's like, you'll eventually get a divorce from the Air Force, but y'all gonna be married for about 20 years, but when you get that divorce, you can get alimony and all this stuff, if you treat her well, or y'all may partway is at some point you get nothing. But it's all about what you put into it. And that was intriguing to me and the stability, then the pride for serving my country, and being able to, being able to speak to myself on the same level as my dad and my grandfather who were two of the best people I've ever met in my entire life. And so I decided to join and I kind of kept it from people for a long time.  

Tripp Bodenheimer    00:43:36    And, because there were a lot of issues with maps and my vision. Apparently, I had the worst vision in the United States Air Force for someone who doesn't wear glasses. I came in and hung up my blue apron. I like to tell my classes that I was the, two, two times server of the year voted by the local readers of Sumter county, at Red Lobster and 98 Jordan, I hung up my apron at the top of my game and decided to walk away and join the military and the rest is history. So yeah, it's kind of what got me in the Air Force.  

Scott DeLuzio   00:44:12    That's interesting. I like hearing about how people got in, into the military, especially, people got in on the older side of things. A lot of people join 18, 19 years old, right out, right out of high school or whatever. I was one of the older people in my basic training classes too. I wasn't quite as old as you were, but so I know what it was like, I already graduated college. I already had a pretty, pretty good civilian job when I left for basic training. And, then being really humbled by, sleeping, sweeping the floors, cleaning the toilets, 20-year-old supervisor. Yeah. It's, it's like, man, I, it was, it was definitely a humbling experience, but yeah, so that's cool to hear, hear those stories. So tell us about the Shadows Podcast. So I was fortunate enough to have the opportunity to join you on your show. And I encourage everyone. Who's listening here to go check out that episode and all the others that are on there, but,, what's the podcast all about for anyone who maybe hasn't heard it before?  

Tripp Bodenheimer  00:45:27    Yeah. The Shadows Podcast was actually something that, like I said, goes back to my childhood. I wrote an article about my dad's legacy. I talked about your legacy. Is it in a box or is it internally on display with other people? And what I mean by that is, we love, especially the military, my office, I've got awards, coins, patches, all this stuff on my wall, but that stuff's eventually going to go in a box one day and it's all about what I taught my daughter, what she carries on and passes on to her kids and to their kids. And that's really your legacy. And we had lost that a lot. So I decided to write an article about it. A guy asked to come on a podcast and I did the podcast and my, the topic did come up and we talked about it a good bit.  

Tripp Bodenheimer   00:46:13    And I finished. And when I finished. Ooh, I got a little itchy about this kind of podcast. And I'd always been kind of tossing it around in my mind a little bit, especially with the job I have here in questioning techniques is one of the lessons that we really work on.. Well, I got good question techniques. At least I think I do. And you may listen to my podcast and think differently, but, if you're entitled to. I feel like I got good question techniques. I was not confident with my voice. You can probably relate the first time you hit a record and you go back and edit. Ooh, gosh, that's how I sound. That's gross. But I was like what, let's try this. Let's see if it works.  

Tripp Bodenheimer    00:46:55    And I shot big from day one. I was like what, if I do this, I'm going to have a story to tell everybody, regardless of where you're from. And I started with Chief Bogdan, who is a chief master in the, in the, in the Air Force right now. Senior non-commissioned officer, one of my personal mentors. He was my first episode. And then after that, I had Shauntay Macmillan. She was a US Olympian. I've had a phenomenal time. We've had entrepreneurs, CEOs, pro athletes, actors, actresses, military members, just regular, everyday people who think that they don't have a story. And then they get behind the mic. And they're surprised that the more they start talking that yes you do. And yes, it can help someone else out. So that's kind of our concept is everybody has a story.  

Tripp Bodenheimer   00:47:46    We Chronicle people's journeys from childhood up until where they're at now. And it's very therapeutic for our guests. They get on there and they talk about stuff and I'm very much the connector. I'm a recovering people-pleaser. It's not really recovering and it just sounds better, but I have a very good rapport with a lot of my guests. So they come on and it's just not really a one-off. I still keep in contact with a lot of them. So, I have very good connections. We've been around, like I said, flirting for a year and a half, come out every Thursday with a new episode and we like to keep very diverse groups. So you'll see when we have, like we just said, DC Glen from the hip hop group tag team, he was just on a past episode, but then we're, we're following it up with a military member.  

Tripp Bodenheimer    00:48:39    So it's very diverse with who we have on there. And then we have a little spinoff called Rise from the Shadows, which is, they're almost 15 minute little Ted talks and they have a certain message that they're trying to display to the, or,  relate to the audience. And then we have like a little 10-minute closure. Those are more for a quick commute to and from work. Do you want to go for a jog? There definitely, our goal is to inspire others, but the name, the shadows kind of came from, I guess I did this backwards. The name stems from, we all have shadows. We all have those dark moments and things are going to happen to us, but our shadow can destroy us or it can become a part of who we are, and just like yourself and just like me, our shadows have kind of become who we are.  

Tripp Bodenheimer   00:49:29    We've taken our tragedies in our obstacles and we've turned them into triumphs and tribulations or success stories or trials and tribulations into success stories. And, you'd be surprised what the power of storytelling can do to help other people out. And, that's one of the things that kept me going right off the bat when I started it. And because I do all the cover arts, the editing, we were talking about this beforehand, I do every, every single thing that has the shadows on it. I'm a one-man show and it takes so much time, man, this is a lot, I'll have a guest. I've been doing interviews for 20 years. I've been doing this for 10 years and I came on your show and you really made me understand the importance of storytelling.  

Tripp Bodenheimer    00:50:20    And then I have students who come through the course and  I was going through something. And I heard such an episode, wow. That I've been through that exact same thing. And that inspired me, that motivated me. And that's, that's what we aim for is just to inspire and motivate people. I'm not looking for 10,000 downloads an episode. I'm looking for one person to be able to leave inspired and leave motivated and feel like they can go out and change the world. Because I listened to that one episode and that's what keeps us moving forward. And we recently joined a group, the Lima Charlie network, which is very like-minded individuals. And we've got a little bit of everything on there. We've got,  the hero front talks about people in the military. It's pretty much focused around strictly military individuals. We've got an emotional intelligence guru on there that EKU gangster got the llama lounge.  

Tripp Bodenheimer    00:51:20    They focus on leaders. We've got the power of investing in people, podcasts, which is phenomenal as well. And then we have beyond the rut who, Jerry do, going to be on the right. He's been around the podcast game since he's the founding member. He's the Naismith of podcasting. It's an awesome group and we really are a family there. And, like I said, a strong support system and we all motivate each other. We all look out for each other. I'm loving this podcast game. This is seeing what, even podcasts like yours drive on. I mean, it just motivates me. I look at everything you're doing. I listen to your episodes and I could be improving. I could be doing this better. So it's iron sharpening iron with it and spreading the good messages and good vibes out to people.  

Tripp Bodenheimer   00:52:13    and the cool thing about your show, and I would hope the shadows are our hope is to plant seeds with people, but to never see the tree fully grown. And you, we may have no idea how many listeners listen to our show and are able to go off and do amazing things based off of it. But we'll never, that's not something you can count with algorithms or are, five-star reviews or things like that. It's just something that somebody is walking around right now. That's listened to drive on or listen to the shadows podcast that we have no clue that they're a better person because of that podcast, but they are  

Scott DeLuzio   00:52:55    Right. And that's something that keeps me going too, because knowing that there, again, I'm not looking for 10, 20, 30,000. I'm not trying to be a Joe Rogan can be nice, but I mean, if anyone's out there and can make that happen, I'm not gonna say no but,  

Scott DeLuzio   00:53:18    you're right. There's, even if there's one person out there after all this work who decided not to self-destruct and go down that dark road, I think it's worth it. I mean, a hundred percent, it's not the easiest job to do. It's not like I get paid a ton of money to do it. I'm not, I'm not getting, I'm not going to be retiring off of it at this point. Although if there is that person who can make it into a Joe Rogan style show, then maybe I will, but same here.  

Scott DeLuzio    00:53:59   But I think it, to me, it's worth it knowing that there might be somebody out there and I've heard this from other people who said that certain episodes have made an impact on them. Was it a completely life changing impact? I don't know, but they enjoyed the episodes. They got a good feel from the message from that episode. So, it helps me, it motivates me to keep going and keep on putting out these episodes and be as consistent as humanly possible with these episodes. And, so far in the two and a half years, I've been doing it. I haven't missed a week yet, and I don't feel like I'm going to be slowing down anytime soon. So, I'm really happy to be able to do that. And I'm glad that you're finding the same kind of motivation as well. In what you're doing two and a  

Tripp Bodenheimer   00:54:51    Half years, kudos. You're like a seasoned veteran at this point.  

Scott DeLuzio    00:54:55    And the funny thing is when I started, I didn't really know what heck I was doing. If you listen to the first few episodes,  

Tripp Bodenheimer  00:55:03    Same way. Don't go, listen, if you start, what, I want to check out the shadow Starlight episode 16, don't go to episode one or two. Cause you're going to be, this guy has no clue what he's doing. I think I just hit a record and was even tapping the mic, is this on?  

Scott DeLuzio    00:55:17    Yeah, there's a bit of Maryland. Those episodes are still out there. They're not the best quality the first, maybe half dozen or so are, Kind of weak.  

Tripp Bodenheimer  00:55:27    You got to get delight 15 to really find your footing 15 or so. I think that was around our number where I'm alright. I think I've kind of gotten my groove now.  

Scott DeLuzio  00:55:36    Yeah. I think the first time I had a guest on the podcast was maybe 10 or 11 episodes. The rest of it was me just trying to figure out what the heck I needed to do on the technical side, trying to get it, get it going. But, but, it's, again, it's a worthwhile thing, even if it's only helping out a handful of people. I still think it's, it's worth it. So, well with that, it's been a pleasure speaking with you. I probably could chat with you all day, but I want to let you get back to your day and your family. But it's definitely been great talking to you. We'll probably have to do this again sometime. Where can people go? I don't think you mentioned it earlier, where can people go, to check out the shadows and find out more about the podcast and everything like that?  

Tripp Bodenheimer   00:56:28    Yeah, the shadows podcast real easy, the shadows podcast.com you can head over there. I believe on Instagram where the underscore shadows podcast, Instagram is kind of our go-to, but we're also on LinkedIn and Facebook as well. You can type in shadows podcasts on the nose. It'll, it'll pop up. It's got the sweet-looking, old-school shadows, like the old shadow's comic that Batman kind of derived from. So our logo is that, but it's basically replaced with an Eagle to kind of represent the military. A pretty, pretty sick friend of mine made it, but, yeah, definitely. We're very, very active on social media.  

Scott DeLuzio    00:57:07    Yeah. Excellent. Yeah. So I'll have linked to all of that, your website, and the social media links in the show notes. So anyone who wants to check out the podcast, go check it out. It's a really great, great podcast and I encourage people to go subscribe to it, subscribe to it and, and definitely give it a listen. So check  

Tripp Bodenheimer    00:57:27    Your episode out. You've got a really good episode on there.  

Scott DeLuzio   00:57:29    Yeah, I appreciate that. And I appreciate the opportunity to come on and share my story on your podcast as well. So  

Tripp Bodenheimer    00:57:36    Thank you so much for reaching out and having me come on here. I love doing this. I love, for the longest time I bottled my story, but like I said, I love to share it and spread it with people, because somebody may have gone through something similar. You never know when tragedy strikes and, if it has an, as somebody just remembers what I said for when they do go through that moment,, to be able to help them out. So I can't thank you enough for allowing me to come on here. I'm a fan of your podcast. I think you're doing phenomenal things. You got phenomenal guests. It's incredible. I mean, even your website's really good-looking. It's just so many things you're doing right with it. So, I, I think you big time, for having me come on here. Very grateful.  

Scott DeLuzio    00:58:21    I appreciate that. And I look forward to chatting with you again in the future, whether it's on your podcast or mine, or even just shooting the breeze. Okay.  

Tripp Bodenheimer   00:58:31    We'll get you on a rise from season two, rise from the shadows season two. We'll get you booked there.  

Scott DeLuzio   00:58:36    Okay. Excellent. Sounds great. So, all right, well thank you again. And, for everyone, again, go check out the shadows podcast and, liken subscribed to that, follow that podcast as well. Really, really great stuff on there. Thanks again. Thanks for listening to the Drive On Podcast. If you want to check out more episodes or learn more about the show, you can visit our website driveonpodcast.com. We're also on Instagram, Facebook, Twitter, LinkedIn, and YouTube at DriveOnPodcast.

]]> 00:59:17 <![CDATA[The MisFitNation]]> Thu, 27 Jan 2022 08:00:00 +0000 Scott DeLuzio https://drive-on-podcast.castos.com/podcasts/2296/episodes/the-misfitnation full 145 false 00:45:54 <![CDATA[Gold Star Widow Talks About Sacrifice]]> Tue, 25 Jan 2022 08:00:00 +0000 Scott DeLuzio https://drive-on-podcast.castos.com/podcasts/2296/episodes/gold-star-widow-talks-about-sacrifice full 144 false 00:45:54 <![CDATA[The Protectors]]> Thu, 20 Jan 2022 08:00:00 +0000 Scott DeLuzio https://drive-on-podcast.castos.com/podcasts/2296/episodes/the-protectors full 143 false 00:42:07 <![CDATA[Military Veteran Dads]]> Tue, 18 Jan 2022 08:00:00 +0000 Scott DeLuzio https://drive-on-podcast.castos.com/podcasts/2296/episodes/military-veteran-dads full 142 false 00:46:08 <![CDATA[Freedom Alliance]]> Thu, 13 Jan 2022 08:00:00 +0000 Scott DeLuzio https://drive-on-podcast.castos.com/podcasts/2296/episodes/freedom-alliance full 141 false 00:41:09 <![CDATA[Stop, Breathe, Think, Act]]> Tue, 11 Jan 2022 08:00:00 +0000 Scott DeLuzio https://drive-on-podcast.castos.com/podcasts/2296/episodes/stop-breathe-think-act full 140 false 00:56:41 <![CDATA[Helping Veterans Tell Their Story and Jiu Jitsu]]> Thu, 06 Jan 2022 08:00:00 +0000 Scott DeLuzio https://drive-on-podcast.castos.com/podcasts/2296/episodes/helping-veterans-tell-their-story-and-jiu-jitsu full 139 false 00:36:51 <![CDATA[Transforming Service to Veterans]]> Tue, 04 Jan 2022 08:00:00 +0000 Scott DeLuzio https://permalink.castos.com/podcast/2296/episode/833563 Paul Lawrence is an Army veteran and also served as the Under Secretary of Benefits at the VA. During his time with the VA, he worked to streamline the bureaucracy to help veterans get the benefits they apply for quickly and accurately.

Links & Resources

Transcript

Scott DeLuzio  00:00:00    Thanks for tuning into a Drive on Podcast where we're focused on giving hope and strength to the entire military community, whether you're a veteran active duty guard reserve, or family member, this podcast we'll share inspirational stories and resources that are useful to you. I'm your host, Scott DeLuzio. And now let's get on with the show.  

Scott DeLuzio    00:00:22    Everybody welcome back to the Drive On Podcast today. My guest is Paul Lawrence. Paul is an Army veteran and also served as the Undersecretary of Benefits at the Department of Veterans Affairs. During his time with the VA, he worked to streamline the bureaucracy to help veterans get the benefits that they apply for, quickly and accurately., Paul is also the author of the book, Transforming Service to Veterans. In this episode, we're going to talk about Paul's time at the VA and how he's helped veterans along the way, and as well as a little bit about his book at the end. So, welcome to the show, Paul, why don't you tell us a little bit about yourself and your background.  

Paul Lawrence   00:01:01    Hey, thanks, Scott. Thanks for having me with you. Yeah. it's an interesting story. I grew up in an army family. My father was a career military officer in the army. He was in the Signal Corps. We moved all around the world during the cold war thing, lived in Europe a couple times back and forth, and I was actually born in Japan. I left after a year, so I don't remember anything of it. So basically it seemed natural that I would join ROTC when I was in college. I did, I joined army ROTC. I delayed my going in so I could go on and get my PhD in economics at Virginia Tech. And then I went into the army. So I did my three years. I completed my ROTC requirement. I got out and then I moved to Washington and became a consultant to the government, primarily working in accounting firms, consulting to the government.  

Paul Lawrence    00:01:50    And so that's where I was. When someone said, Hey, you should apply for this cool job at the VA. And that's how I became the undersecretary of your benefits. I would definitely say being a veteran and being in a military family really kind of informed my thinking and really, while it wasn't all my life, it was a significant part of my life. And some of the things I still remember, my father taught me and I still remember, I think about all the time, that was some of the things that led me to want to serve.  

Scott DeLuzio     00:02:16    And I think it's important to coming from a military background to kind of have that understanding of  what is important to, to the veterans and having that in, in your family history, in living  the military life,  moving from one base to another and moving all over the world, you kind of get a sense for that probably from an early age, where some other people who may not have had that experience, they wouldn't have been able to experience that in and wouldn't have that understanding necessarily of what it's like, to be in the military, and part of a military family, especially  

Paul Lawrence   00:02:54    Right. And to move, to live in foreign countries where they don't speak English, where you can learn different languages and see the whole kind of thing where you deal with people who do not like Americans and you don't understand why. So yeah, it's really eye opening. And it's just, in retrospect, it was a pretty amazing experience. And I know my father thought as much too,...

]]> full 138 false Paul Lawrence is an Army veteran and also served as the Under Secretary of Benefits at the VA. During his time with the VA, he worked to streamline the bureaucracy to help veterans get the benefits they apply for quickly and accurately.

Links & Resources

Transcript

Scott DeLuzio  00:00:00    Thanks for tuning into a Drive on Podcast where we're focused on giving hope and strength to the entire military community, whether you're a veteran active duty guard reserve, or family member, this podcast we'll share inspirational stories and resources that are useful to you. I'm your host, Scott DeLuzio. And now let's get on with the show.  

Scott DeLuzio    00:00:22    Everybody welcome back to the Drive On Podcast today. My guest is Paul Lawrence. Paul is an Army veteran and also served as the Undersecretary of Benefits at the Department of Veterans Affairs. During his time with the VA, he worked to streamline the bureaucracy to help veterans get the benefits that they apply for, quickly and accurately., Paul is also the author of the book, Transforming Service to Veterans. In this episode, we're going to talk about Paul's time at the VA and how he's helped veterans along the way, and as well as a little bit about his book at the end. So, welcome to the show, Paul, why don't you tell us a little bit about yourself and your background.  

Paul Lawrence   00:01:01    Hey, thanks, Scott. Thanks for having me with you. Yeah. it's an interesting story. I grew up in an army family. My father was a career military officer in the army. He was in the Signal Corps. We moved all around the world during the cold war thing, lived in Europe a couple times back and forth, and I was actually born in Japan. I left after a year, so I don't remember anything of it. So basically it seemed natural that I would join ROTC when I was in college. I did, I joined army ROTC. I delayed my going in so I could go on and get my PhD in economics at Virginia Tech. And then I went into the army. So I did my three years. I completed my ROTC requirement. I got out and then I moved to Washington and became a consultant to the government, primarily working in accounting firms, consulting to the government.  

Paul Lawrence    00:01:50    And so that's where I was. When someone said, Hey, you should apply for this cool job at the VA. And that's how I became the undersecretary of your benefits. I would definitely say being a veteran and being in a military family really kind of informed my thinking and really, while it wasn't all my life, it was a significant part of my life. And some of the things I still remember, my father taught me and I still remember, I think about all the time, that was some of the things that led me to want to serve.  

Scott DeLuzio     00:02:16    And I think it's important to coming from a military background to kind of have that understanding of  what is important to, to the veterans and having that in, in your family history, in living  the military life,  moving from one base to another and moving all over the world, you kind of get a sense for that probably from an early age, where some other people who may not have had that experience, they wouldn't have been able to experience that in and wouldn't have that understanding necessarily of what it's like, to be in the military, and part of a military family, especially  

Paul Lawrence   00:02:54    Right. And to move, to live in foreign countries where they don't speak English, where you can learn different languages and see the whole kind of thing where you deal with people who do not like Americans and you don't understand why. So yeah, it's really eye opening. And it's just, in retrospect, it was a pretty amazing experience. And I know my father thought as much too, he had come from a small town outside of Boston. He was the first person in his family to go to college, and now to be traveling all around the world was just like, wow, this is pretty amazing. When you think about where he came from.  

Scott DeLuzio    00:03:26    Yeah, absolutely. And I know that's true with some of the people I served with as well. They never really left kind of their hometown area. And then, all of a sudden now we find ourselves in Afghanistan and other places throughout the country as we're training and whatnot too. So, it's definitely interesting to see that with other people as they progress through their military career.  Let's talk about your time with the VA. Now, the VA, it's obviously a big organization, it's responsible for many different programs, not, not just the benefits, you were a part of, but, could you give an overview of kind of what the VA does and specifically what you were responsible for with the veterans benefits administration?  

Paul Lawrence    00:04:16    Sure. A good way to think about the VA is sort of like about 400,000 people a little bit less when I was there and it's divided into three sort of, they call administrations, but think about them as operating companies, right? And so the largest is the veterans health administration, all the doctors, all the hospitals, I forgot the number 500 hospitals, the largest integrated medical system in the United States, right. Sees everybody and does that. So most people have envisioned that picture.. They are large in terms of people, but actually when you add up all the benefits, the veterans benefits administration is actually larger between the budget, as well as all the money paid for benefits. So it's about 25,000 people. That was what I was in charge of. And it does what it says, the benefits, disability compensation, pension, fiduciary, home loan guarantee 

Paul Lawrence     00:05:07    No money down home purchase the GI bill, the education benefit, VRE (veterans readiness and employment). And I forgot one more insurance- large insurance company within. And so basically takes care of all the benefits. And then the last one is the national cemetery administration, which is pretty clear, whatever rent runs, a series of cemeteries for folks to be honored at the end of their service to all of us. And so it's much smaller as you can imagine, but they're really, really good at what they do. They win all the customer satisfaction scores for best organization, like anywhere public or private. It's a pretty amazing organization. So most people immediately think about VA. They think about the hospitals VHA, but the first interaction when you become a veteran is actually with the Veterans Benefits Administration, which is why it's so important as folks come into the system, they have a very positive experience and often disability compensation is one of the hardest things to start with. So it's really one of the challenges to make it a good experience when people come away going." Yeah, my military service was great. And when I became a veteran, that was also good too". So that's really the challenge.  

Scott DeLuzio    00:06:13    Yeah. And it is a challenge. I think back to my transition when I got out of the military and I was looking into what benefits were available. And at times it felt like I was drinking from a fire hose.  

Paul Lawrence     00:06:30    Fire hose, yup.

Scott DeLuzio    00:06:31    That's just so much stuff to go through. And, you know, we even had those, those classes where they sit you down and they say, okay,, these are the benefits that you're eligible for, and here's how you apply and this, that, and the other. And, and you, you go through it at, you know, a sprinting pace and,it's just, it's almost overwhelming. And so,you know, from, from my side of the table, from the,, the veteran side of it, the  of all of this, it, it really, I felt like I needed to go and do some of the legwork myself and actually understand what's available to me., All the information, all the paperwork was great. I needed to sit down and actually try to understand all of it, because there's just so much, and, no fault of, of anyone who tried to send me through all of this, this stuff, it's just,, it's a lot of material to go through in a short period of time. So,, you know, in your book, you talk about your initial assessment of the veterans benefits administration, when you first You know, got him into that role., and there were some things that were working well and others needed some improvement. Can you talk about how you made this initial assessment and how you prioritized, what needed to be done and, and the, the improvements that needed to be made?  

Paul Lawrence     00:07:54    Well, one of the things, one of the things I went through the confirmation process is the veterans benefits administration has a lot of information about how well they're doing. They produce a lot of information. How many claims are being processed, How many things are being done, GI bill claims are being done. How many people are getting pension and the like, and it was easy to read reports from  GAO- the government accountability office, or watch hearings, congressional testimony and see what was going on. So I had a pretty good sense of what was taking place, in each of the benefits. They call them business lines, each of the business lines that was going on, but I had some initial hypothesis about how well things were going or not going. I also knew that when I showed up in 2018, especially in disability compensation, there had been a LAR a period of time in the 2013 and 2014 period where the backlog of claims claims that were over 125 days waiting to be resolved had been really, really large, more than 600,000 and had just gotten down to about 70,000 when I showed up.  

Paul Lawrence     00:08:58    So I knew it was an organization that had made tremendous improvement, but I did have some questions about how well some of the other business lines were going. So I spent a lot of time early on talking to the leaders, getting a sense for who really understood their business  and so I got a pretty good sense early on as to who was doing a good job and who quite frankly, probably was in the wrong job. I noticed that there were a lot of promotions that were ten-year based versus merit based. So I had to deal with that. And then quite frankly, the one thing I never understood coming from the private sector was what I'll call middle level, middle level layer. So for example, Scott, if you are running a business, you have pretty good responsibilities in the VBA. When I first showed up, you would report to a deputy under secretary who would then report to me.  

Paul Lawrence    00:09:46    And I thought, well, if you're really good at your business, you don't need these folks between me and them and talk about stuff, right? They aggregate information, and sometimes you just lose information. So have I removed the whole layer of management and converted those positions to help solve more veterans problems. So I thought that was really helpful to empower people, to run their business, because I mean, I think everybody who does stuff, whatever it is, you always think you're worthy of more responsibility earlier than you get it. You always think if I would just get these knucklehead bosses out of my way, I would do a better job. And I believe that too. And I did that. So I really sought to, you know, move layers, find the people who were really good and quite frankly, had a passion for caring about veterans. I just noticed that after a while, people kind of got into a wall and were comfortable, what I call coming up short or not really adhering to the law.  

Paul Lawrence   00:10:38    They weren't doing fraud or whatever, but they weren't really kind of following through on the promises. So there was a little bit of that. So quite frankly, I knew my time there would be short and I really wanted to help veterans and have the service be better. That's part of why I took the job. You know, you said, why, why do you take these jobs? Well, I was naive. I wanted things to be better and I was going to go do things like that, streamline move people around to get them really focused on getting benefits to veterans.

Scott DeLuzio   00:11:06    Yeah. And that's, that's really encouraging to hear that, you know, there, there are people at the VA,, especially in the benefits side, because like you said that's a lot of times the first touch that people have with the VA after getting out of the service. And it's encouraging to hear that there are people who are out there working to make these improvements. I know, personally, I've applied for benefits for the first time that I applied for any sort of benefits. I think the initial application that I put in was sometime in August of that year and it wasn't until February or March of the following year that it ended up getting approved., but then the second time I applied for something else, you know, that was service connected.  

Scott DeLuzio     00:11:58    it was a matter of weeks that it got approved. I think it was  just before Halloween that I applied and it was before Thanksgiving that it was approved and everything went through. So, you know, just from my own personal experience and it was around the time frame that we're talking about here while, while you were, in there as well. And so II, you know, I know that there were definitely some improvements made just from my own personal experience. I can't necessarily say for everybody, but,you know, it definitely looked like things are moving in the right direction

Paul Lawrence     00:12:36    Well, that's, that's good to know. And to kind of echo your point. I mean, by and large, the folks I've found at the veterans benefits administration will first 55% of them are veterans. So they understand that the highest percentage is virtually anywhere in government. So it's all literally veterans serving veterans. And by and large, they really want to do the right thing. There's no incentive to deny what everybody thinks, well, they're just going to deny they get more bonuses that they deny claims that's not true, but the system is hard and complicated. The requirements on information to prove it is complicated. So sometimes it just gets into difficult situations, but it's intended to be like you say, present the information, demonstrate that you're worthy of this benefit and then get our veterans the benefits, right. And most people want to do that. They want it to be seen as working for an organization. That's really good, not one that everybody kind of makes fun of. They want to be on the winning team, just like everybody. And so it was natural to talk about, you know, you know, the publicity should be about how good the organization is performing and how satisfied veterans are. And like you say, how quickly they're getting their benefits versus having to explain difficult situations and why things weren't working. So that was the intention.  

Scott DeLuzio     00:13:49    Yeah. and from what I've seen, like I said, it seems like things are moving in that right direction. But, something that you sort of briefly touched on it, some of the difficulties that come into getting some of these, these benefits approved and some of the requirements and all that kind of stuff. And one thing that I think would help to understand a little bit better from the veteran's perspective is, some of the congressional mandates. And you talked about this a little bit in your book as well. you know, the difficulties, that, the VA faces when, when they have to implement these new mandates that come down from Congress, basically if you're making a product in a factory and use the same materials in the same process, each time you can pretty reliably come out with a consistent product time after time, you know?  

Scott DeLuzio   00:14:38   , but when you are administering benefits, it can sorta be thought as a repeatable process, assuming nothing changes, you know, applicants fill out the necessary paperwork, submit the documentation and, you know, either the criteria or doesn't, but then you throw in a congressional mandate and things change and all of a sudden all the processes and everything else. So, you make the analogy of building a plane as it's flying, So what were some of the challenges that the VA faced and, and will continue to face I'm sure. In the future, as new mandates come into play, regarding implementing these new changes?

Paul Lawrence     00:15:17    Well, you're right. It's exactly that. So the repeatable processes, that's what goes on?  Get claims, do whatever they're a little bit different, but you can get good at it. And then what happened while I was there, which was good because he remembered the former president really put veterans at the center of the administration. He came in and said, I want to fix a lot of these things. Well, the famous thing he talked about, the accountability act where he'd run around and say, you can now say you're fired? But what followed after that were two laws that really did affect the VA. One was the appeals modernization, which made it easier to appeal your decision, as well as the Colmery acts or the forever GI bill. So those basically change major processes that went on at VVA and those laws have due dates..  

Paul Lawrence    00:16:03    You know, within one year within one year of this law, you will have changed the GI bill program in 18 months, or this, you will have modernized the appeals process. So when I got in, we were coming towards the end of the last year, but the last part of that first year to modernize the Colmery Act the forever GI bill. And it was not going well. They just hadn't sought down the wrong approach. The wrong contractors have been hired. So I got to, you know, deal with a very messy situation and say, Hey guys, this isn't going to work. We have to start a new plan and kind of start over. So that one took a year longer and that resulted in hearing and scrutiny, but eventually it all got figured out and everybody was owed. Money was back paid, and generally worked out pretty well.  

Paul Lawrence     00:16:45    Appeals modernization was a really big change and a really good change before if you were unhappy. And this is, what's funny, Scott, about VA, unlike virtually any other government agency, you're unhappy with any decision VA has, you can appeal it or have somebody review it. Most people sort of say, let me try, try doing this with the IRS and see what happens, right. So you could do this, but the process was really long and onerous like three to seven years. So a new process was designed and it's kind of clever. It's no longer to appeal when you show up, back up DVA, it's a decision review. So you can have a higher level review, right? It's another set of eyes like the NFL or supplemental plan, which is you produce more evidence, right? Those were happening very, very fast. That was a really big change, but a good change.  

Paul Lawrence    00:17:29    And then the last change I dealt with just towards the end of the end of 2019 was finally got legislation to deal with the blue water Navy, agent orange, that folks who were exposed to herbicide, who would serve all 12 miles, less than 12 miles off the coast of Vietnam during the conflict. And it's been exposed to Agent Orange. So they finally got benefits and that was a long time coming. So that law had to be implemented on time. So it really, you know, you sort of have people who are really good at the process, like you said, doing the same thing over and over again, and now they have to figure out how they're going to change this. It's a very different skillset. It's normally under tremendous scrutiny because the laws have timeframes. You know, everybody's, it's sad, there's a large constituency rooting for VA to fail.  

Paul Lawrence    00:18:15    So they're sort of watching, you know, when is the Titanic going to hit the iceberg? So it was really a lot of pressure to get it right. And so in those three instances with a separate reset schedule for the forever GI bill, all of them were done on time. All of them began exactly as it was planned. So it was really a good news story. And one that quite frankly, I don't know what was expected because again, I think people were thinking, well, it's VA, it's BBA. Somehow this will turn into a mess and everybody will be unhappy. So yeah. But you're right. It's funny. It's just not what you imagine. Right. You know? Oh, there's major legislation. Well, that's good for veterans until you realize, well, yeah, but somebody's got to go actually do that. Right. And, and, and just to kind of give you an order of magnitude, the forever GI bill, part of the changes were like how the veterans who use the GI bill got the monthly housing allowance.  

Paul Lawrence     00:19:04    So to demonstrate the order of complexity in the original GI bill, the servicemen's readjustment act of 1944, the housing allowance is described in 44 words. So it said you will get a hustle. And I thought, well, okay. In the forever GI bill, the way the housing bill is done is over 4,000 words. So order of magnitude of complexity that had to be put into computer programs and as a manager, there were a whole bunch of problems. So yeah, that's kind of it. So the good news is there was more legislation to improve services to veterans; the challenge wasn't forced to actually go and deliver the benefits. And one of the things I really came away with thinking it's easy to promise more benefits to veterans, right. Everyone feels good. All Congress people like to do it. It is another story to actually deliver those benefits or stated differently. You promise benefits, but they don't get delivered. You really haven't done anything for veterans. And that's kind of what I really had a real good sense of.  

Scott DeLuzio     00:20:00    Yeah. And, and that's the thing, when Congress passes these laws and they get signed passes the bills and they get signed into law. And you're sitting there with hundreds or perhaps thousands of pages of documentation that you now have to go through and convert that into a computer program or something, somewhere along the way to, to now have the people who work there, be able to utilize that and, and turn that into the benefits that, that go out to the veterans., it's a big undertaking and  

Paul Lawrence     00:20:33    And it's actually, it's actually kind of the opposite. The laws tend to be really short and you have to figure out what it really means. Right. And then you have to go and sort of like, well, what were you guys imagining when you were writing this? Right. So it's actually some, sometimes just the opposite,  

Scott DeLuzio    00:20:49    Right? Yeah. That's true too. maybe you're even having to fill in the blanks of what was actually intended  by some of us, this legislation that gets passed. So, and the reason why I brought that up is because, like you said, there's veterans working for the VA. Those veterans want the benefits to go to the right people in the right circumstances. They, they don't, they're not sitting there holding back and trying to through somebody over and not allow these veterans getting the benefits that they deserve. But, but at the same time, it's, there's, there's real people behind this and it's not just a computer program. There's somebody who has to interpret all of this and create the systems and everything behind it.  

Scott DeLuzio     00:21:43    And so,  I wanted to highlight  that part because I thought it was really interesting. In your book, I wanted to highlight it because a lot of times, we can get mad at a computer when it's not giving you the answer that you want it to. But you know, a lot of times we don't understand that there's, there's a person on the other end of that computer who is doing their best with what they have to work with. And sometimes the timelines, you know, may or may not be the right kind of timelines  for implementing some of this stuff. And so maybe having a little bit of compassion, a little bit of patience with, with some of this stuff, is in order, you know?  

Paul Lawrence   00:22:24    Yeah. Well, I sort of agree and disagree, right. So I think that when you're delivering benefits to veterans, right, I mean, they're right to be demanded. It is like, Hey, I expect this fast. And, and, you know, we all live in a world where things are getting fast, right. Pizza in 30 minutes packages in two hours. And the like, so I would say VBA was getting better, but the world was getting better, faster. So it looked like they were falling behind. So, you know, I think it's reasonable to expect that veterans should get world-class service from the BVS. Right. So that's difficult, but it can be done. Like you pointed out in your second time through the system, your claim could be done much faster. So, it's sort of like both parts of the equation working together. If veterans produce a good claim and they can get help to do that with all the information assembled and ready, VBA should be able to go through it lickety-split and say yes or no, based on the information where things get kind of crosswise if it's incomplete.  

Paul Lawrence     00:23:23    And so somebody has got to go find their military record, right. Or the documentation about their injury wasn't done because, you know, back in the day they just sucked it up and took aspirin and they don't really have evidence that their knee was hurt or whatever. So that's where things get, you know, kind of squarely. And of course you can imagine somebody has been horribly wounded and has lots of issues that gotta be dealt with. And so it's just more complicated. So it all makes sense, but, but people get frustrated, right. And they get disappointed, right? And while 75% of the time they do get yeses, 25% of the time they do get no's. And so no one likes to know no matter how elegantly it's presented. So it's just kinda how it all works. But I do think that the goal should be, really good service with veterans and waiting is just really not acceptable. And that folks should always be vigilant to try to minimize that.  

Scott DeLuzio     00:24:19    Right. Yeah, well, put, I think that makes a whole lot of sense, too.,you talked about, you know, sometimes the paperwork is incomplete or they don't have the right documentation and things like that.You worked with some of the veteran service organizations that are out there to help improve,  the relationship between those organizations and the VA and, and, and trying to help facilitate the process of the veterans, applying for the benefits and everything., Talk about that, that process and kind of what the goal there was in terms of improving that relationship and how that's helped,  with the overall process for the applications and everything.  

Paul Lawrence     00:25:05    So it was really interesting. We all know about the American Legion and VFW heard of maybe you played American Legion baseball or some such thing like that. Right. But, and they're large organizations. You can see the guys, men and women with the funny hats, right? So you really, I got the chance to work with them to better understand,how they represent and advocate for veterans. And so they are very much involved in the claims process. They have services, service officers, veteran service officers who will help veterans fill out their claims. They understand the VBA processes. And so they're invaluable and realize that's kind of what I realized, which is these are essentially,, virtually extension of VBA at one level in terms of how much they help. Now, they, of course also heard about all the warts and were good at reminding, you know, VA and the VA, Hey, here's where things are coming up short.  

Paul Lawrence     00:25:55    But when agendas overlap, when people were working on the same problems, they were invaluable. And so I found the time meeting with them, especially the leaders. I'd try to be with the leaders once a month of what they call it, the big a,, the ones that really were the largest and, you know, able to process claims, really valuable. And so that was good. And even when they told you to stuff you didn't like, you really got a sense that these are informed consumers. So I liked that a lot. And that's probably something I would point out to folks, if you are like looking at filing a claim, or, you know, getting help interacting with VA or VBA in particular, you can go to these organizations, they have service officers and at no charge, they will help you through the process. So, in many ways it's kind of like going to a specialist, you can learn it yourself, but they've been doing this over and over again. And so that's one of the things I would tell people all the time when they say, wow, this stuff is really hard to. Get a service officer from a VSO, or quite frankly, from your state. Each state has a department of veterans affairs with some version of that. They also have service officers to help them. So I found that really invaluable and they were great partners, and they would tell you the history of about stuff and how things came to be. And, you know, I found a very positive relationship.  

Scott DeLuzio    00:27:12    Yeah. And hat's a great thing to have too, because, you know, from,, your side, it streamlines, the process, it gets the right paperwork filled out in the right documentation and everything like that is being submitted. So that helps the claims process in, in approvals or, or denying,, in either case, but, but it's able to get through much quicker because you're not waiting for  now we'll send in this extra piece of information and all that extra stuff. so I think that it's a win-win really, it's a win for a VBA because you're able to process these claims much quicker, but it's also a win for the veterans because they get their answer,     lot quicker as well. And, they don't have to jump through all the hoops of trying to learn the whole process. When there's someone else who's out there who already is kind of a subject matter expert on  

Paul Lawrence    00:28:12    They've been doing it. They know what a complete form they know the mistakes people make. They prevent you from doing it and they help make sure you get the decisions timely. So, no, that's really, really good. And, many of them offer a wide range of services. I don't want to do a commercial for them all, but they have auxiliary groups for families. I mean, they really are veteran service organizations. Now I know they're going through transition too, because it's previously tended to be an older group. And I think some of the post nine 11 veterans are not, this is desirous of interacting in certain ways, but,, eventually it'll get all figured out as well, but yeah, they're there and they can be helpful as well as the states, like I said.  

Scott DeLuzio     00:28:52    Yeah, absolutely. And for the post nine 11 veterans who, who might be listening to this, I, would encourage you to reach out to some of these organizations, even, even join the VFW or American Legion or, any of them, again, not giving a commercial necessarily to, to all of them, but, reach out to them because there are older people who are members of these organizations, and they've been through a lot of this process before and, and other things that you might be going through as well. And, you know, it just helps to have that experience available to you. And, you might be able to pick their brain and get some of that information out of them as well. So, it's not going to hurt anything, to reach out to them

Paul Lawrence    00:29:33    And they know that they need to recruit younger members. So the ones I visited, I visited a lot of the posts in the chapters back in the, when you could travel. And a lot of them were understood. It's like, Hey, look, the lifeblood of our organization is post nine 11 guys, men and women. And so I've met lots where the commander was opposed to the first post nine 11 commander they had ever had. Right. Recruiting folks and the like, and so,yeah. Some of the stereotype is true, but a lot more of it was not as people began to so take,kick the tires, give it a look, but I think you'd be surprised. And,, like these wine history, fellowship, camaraderie information,, so for example, a lot of them have emergency funds,you're down on your luck and you need $500,000. A lot of them give that out just because they care about veterans.  

Scott DeLuzio   00:30:23    Yeah. That's a great service. That's available to the veterans as well. And that's amazing that there's people out there who are doing that type of stuff. So what would you say to someone who maybe had a bad experience with, their benefits or something along those lines, , a few years ago before, all these changes that were made to kind of streamline the process and make things better,, for  the veterans,, maybe they  got turned off by the VA or VA is not going to help me. They'renot going to process this claim and, things just didn't work out for them, for whatever reason., they got turned off by the whole process. What would you say to someone who maybe was in that situation and given the current state of affairs with, you know, the benefits and everything now?  

Paul Lawrence     00:31:15    Yeah. So I would say if it was probably more than four years ago, I would say, come on back and give them a second chance because things have gotten better. Okay. And I would, I would say, well, what happened? Was it an incomplete claim or something that it couldn't be figured out? Like you point out Scott, go to a service veterans service organization, get someone to help you to have the best interaction possible, but I would definitely come back. And if you had a bad experience, again, thanks to the new process to appeal the appeals modernization law, I say, you know, file an appeal and get somebody to look at it again. So I would definitely, I would definitely encourage people to connect with the VA. Okay. Yeah. Everything isn't perfect, but it is like the VA. And as a veteran, you should figure out what's there for you because there's a whole range of benefits.  

Paul Lawrence    00:32:02    Hearing about people who had a bad experience was very frustrating. But another thing that I learned was folks who just never interacted with the VA. Well, I never knew I was allowed to do that. I sometimes didn't even know I was a veteran. Like, I didn't know, I could have my college paid for, I didn't know about all these things. So it was really disheartening to hear about folks who had a bad experience or they would say I'm fighting with VAs. If that's kind of the verb you're supposed to use, but others, like, I didn't even know. There's so many benefits. Congress has been so generous for folks to serve that the I don't know one was equally frustrating. Right. So I take your point at the beginning of the show that it is a fire hose, but at least they're stopped there. Right. And the internet and resources and whatever. So I would just say, compared to when I got out, when transition was, here's your DD 214, goodbye. Okay. It's better. It's still got a long way to go, but you know, so yeah. So come back, come back in some form, come back.  

Scott DeLuzio    00:33:03    And what about the people who maybe , they had, maybe a knee injury or back injury or something like that and their service. And, they don't want to file a claim because they feel like, well, I'm going to be taking that away from some other person. 

Paul Lawrence     00:33:21    Yeah. So that's a really good point, Scott. That's absolutely not true. Okay. The way Congress has allocated the money is,, benefits are, is just an increasing pot. So if everybody filed for their back and whatever, the number of dollars available goes up, It''s called a mandatory spend. You have to go spend this money on veterans benefits. So, yes. And so there's two components of that. , Are you the same per person exiting service?  as you were going into service, hearing knees back ankles, other sort of problems. If you're not file a claim, and while you might only have minor injuries or disabilities, now later, things get worse. So we would always say, come back every three to five years, your hearing will get worse. If you were in the artillery, for example, around aircraft . 

Paul Lawrence     00:34:18    So yeah, it's really sort of intended to help folks. And again, the difficult experience was people who show up now, they're,, served in the service in their early twenties. Now they're 40 or 50, they might hearing is gone and trying to link that to your service is harder. Whereas if you've just done it earlier, you would then go in and say, "Hey, I need an increase" as opposed to starting. So I would tell people the money is absolutely there. You're not taking it for anybody. This is stuff you earned. The language around benefits is earned. It's not entitled. It's not whatever. It i's earned. And these are things that are written into law for our veterans. And that's why I keep going back to service in the military of our country is a very noble thing and benefits, and the VA is there to reward our veterans.  

Scott DeLuzio     00:35:06    Yeah. And I'm glad that you made that point and clarified that  for anyone who might feel like they're, they're taking away from somebody else or, or, or things like that. Because I, I, I've heard that so many times from, from people who are, if they have an issue,, they just refuse to apply for the benefits because they feel like if they take it, then somebody else who might be worse off, isn't going to get the benefits. And I know that it's not true, but it's good to hear from, from someone from, from your side of the house where, you know, you, you know, more about the, you know, how the benefits work and, and where the money comes from and how it's allocated and everything like that., so people who are listening, if you have any of these issues, anything that service connected, just like, what Paul was saying, if, if you are different coming out of the military than you were going in, apply for those benefits, because,, you know, you're, you're not thinking of taking it away from anybody.  

Scott DeLuzio 00:36:09    You are just basically applying for what you deserve essentially, right? Yeah,  

Paul Lawrence    00:36:15    That's right. That's absolutely it. And if they have a thing they might, they might, they might, they could do as a search engine, top 10 reasons why people get disability compensation, let's see knees, ankles, noise, like PTSD, you know, these things are sort of well-known, you might go, yeah. You know, that is, that does happen. I mean, it does happen. And so you are aware of that, you know?  

Scott DeLuzio     00:36:39    Yeah, absolutely., so pick a look, at, at those top 10 reasons any other issues that you might be having, look at those too. I know that the VA has a whole schedule of different conditions that there's various ratings for and everything like that. you know, I know the, the, the math on those ratings could be a little confusing and cumbersome, but there's still something out there for you, if, if that's what you're,,, eligible for, I should say.   

Paul Lawrence    00:37:14    Right, right. Yeah. And it's funny, we won't touch on the math, but that's one of the things where complexity is overtaking it. It's just hard to understand it, but it all makes sense when you think about the layers and layers of rules and bureaucracy and court cases and whatever, but it is one of those complexities, but yeah, I think your point's a good one, Scott,, if you think you're some apply for benefits, there's no harm in doing it. If you think it wasn't right. Come back, come back and have the decision review. That's certainly a reasonable thing.  

Scott DeLuzio    00:37:44    Yeah, absolutely. I did do an episode about, Maybe six or eight months ago or so, on, on veteran benefits and, and how that math is. It actually works out. So I'll link a link to that in the show notes. So if anyone's confused about that, doesn't know how it works., I'll link to that in the show notes, so everyone can  go back and take a look at that episode as well. Paul, I'd like to give you the opportunity to,, share with everybody,where they can find your book, learn more about, you know, what you do and, and,  where to find you on social media and things like that as well. And, and anything else that we maybe we didn't cover that you, you might want to touch on as well?  

Paul Lawrence     00:38:29    Sure. So I'll do all of that. So my book is called Transforming Service to Veterans., you can find that on, you know, as I, as my kids, as I tell my kids great Christmas gift. Okay. But, those, and I wrote the book that just explain, like what goes on at the VBA, what my experience was, how benefits are actually done. And like you pointed out Scott, what, what it is to sort of go through this process and, you know, write about what takes place in government. And I did it in part because I was really disappointed by people who go to government and then later talk about stuff they could have done when they were in government, but didn't write everything in the book and stuff I did, I had to deal with difficult situations. I had to move people. I had to fire people.  

Paul Lawrence     00:39:11    We improved the performance that I wanted to write about. It's really in many ways a good news story. I had a great team there. I mean, knowing it was the only, I was the only political point in your organization of 25,000 people. So it wasn't like, you know, I could do this all myself. So it was a great team. And I think people are interested in how the government works? They might find it interesting. Now I spend a lot of time on LinkedIn. I try to write stuff about veterans explaining benefits, or people want to follow me. Paul R. Lawrence, follow me. I try to write about, you know, something of benefits or some really interesting veteran organization that is serving veterans. I spend a lot of time trying to get people to understand there's lots of veterans out there who want to help other veterans, you know, and so to try to connect that, as well.  

Paul Lawrence     00:39:58    So that's what I do. And finally, I guess the last thing I would point out is sort of, you know, how benefits are supposed to enable our veterans to pursue what I talk about as their American dream, right? Life, Liberty, and the pursuit of happiness and that service and the benefits are really supposed to accelerate you. So let's kind of decompose that for a minute, right? So just think about your friends who didn't serve. Well, now they have to go, they want to go to college, they have to save or borrow the money. But if you've served in the military, you can have your college paid for through the GI bill. So you leave college with no debt or earlier than your friends who were not veterans. Okay. If you want to purchase a home, you know, and you're a civilian, you have to save for a down payment, which can be tens of thousands of dollars.  

Paul Lawrence    00:40:44    If you served in the military, and you're now a veteran, you can purchase a home with no money down. This is an unheard of kind of stuff. Right? So thanks to your service, you can get educated for a good job. Okay. You can have a haul and live in a good community. You're two steps ahead of everybody. And those are probably big steps, right? And so, as you think about what services are supposed to do, I think the benefits are a really strong component to setting our veterans up, to really succeed. And that's why I think so many states actively want to recruit veterans to their state. They know they'll buy a home, they'll be part of the community. There'll be great employees for the most part by a far margin. Veterans are generally the top employees in many organizations, veteran unemployment is generally lower than the national average.  

Paul Lawrence     00:41:32    So again, you kind of plan all these things right. And take advantage of and manage it correctly. This can really be a powerful, powerful thing and driving your life. So again, the service isn't supposed to be like, okay, I did it now. I forget about it. It's like, no, it's supposed to be something that kind of really pushes you along and really helps you going forward. So as people listen to your podcast, Scott, you hear about benefits and hear about things. And a lot of the stories about people, you know, succeeding, I think there's a connection there and I encourage everybody to figure out, you know, what of those things they've earned really can help them kind of move forward.  

Scott DeLuzio     00:42:09    Yeah, absolutely. And it's sort of kills you to hear the stories of the people who aren't moving forward and not taking advantage of some of the things that they earned through their service. And, I really appreciate you coming on the show and sharing, you know, especially sentiments like that, where  it's encouraging people to go out and use these benefits that they, that they fought for, that they earned, through their service. And, that they, and I, and I say fought for, I don't mean that they fought for the benefits, but they, were fighting for our country and, and they earned these benefits through, through that service and, and it's theirs that they've earned it. And, and, you know, I really do hope that people will, will use those benefits to, you know, like you said, kind of get a jumpstart, you know, in their lives.  

Paul Lawrence     00:43:09    Yeah, that's exactly right. It's all there, find someone to help you, others will help you, you know, it's, you know, it's important that veterans connect.  

Scott DeLuzio     00:43:20    Absolutely. So, Paul, it's been a pleasure speaking with you today,for everyone listening to the book again, Transforming Service to Veterans on Amazon. take a look at that, go get the book, if you're interested at all in, how the government is running the, the benefits side of things. you know, how Paul, had worked through the VBA,, and,, take a look at, LinkedIn follow Paul on LinkedIn as well. And I'll have links to all of this in the show notes. So anyone who is looking to, grab a copy of the book or,, follow Paul on, on LinkedIn, just go ahead and, click over to the show notes and we'll, we'll have all the links for you there. So thank you again, Paul, for joining me, really appreciate the time and the opportunity to speak with you.  

Paul Lawrence    00:44:14    Yeah, thanks for having me on thought, Scott, thanks for having a great conversation.  

Scott DeLuzio   00:44:18    Thanks for listening to the Drive On Podcast. If you want to check out more episodes or learn more about the show, you can visit our website driveonpodcast.com. We're also on Instagram, Facebook, Twitter, LinkedIn, and YouTube at DriveOnPodcast.

]]> 00:44:42 <![CDATA[StoryTime Project]]> Tue, 28 Dec 2021 08:00:00 +0000 Scott DeLuzio https://drive-on-podcast.castos.com/podcasts/2296/episodes/storytime-project full 137 false 00:50:33 <![CDATA[Warrior Monk - Living a Balanced Life]]> Tue, 21 Dec 2021 08:00:00 +0000 Scott DeLuzio https://drive-on-podcast.castos.com/podcasts/2296/episodes/warrior-monk-living-a-balanced-life full 136 false 00:35:01 <![CDATA[Gold Star Mother & America's Mighty Warriors]]> Tue, 14 Dec 2021 08:00:00 +0000 Scott DeLuzio https://drive-on-podcast.castos.com/podcasts/2296/episodes/gold-star-mother-americas-mighty-warriors full 135 false 00:41:56 <![CDATA[Wrestling To Help PTSD]]> Tue, 07 Dec 2021 08:59:00 +0000 Scott DeLuzio https://drive-on-podcast.castos.com/podcasts/2296/episodes/wrestling-to-help-ptsd full 134 false 00:35:27 <![CDATA[The Soldier’s Guide to PTSD]]> Tue, 30 Nov 2021 08:00:00 +0000 Scott DeLuzio https://drive-on-podcast.castos.com/podcasts/2296/episodes/the-soldiers-guide-to-ptsd full 133 false 01:42:08 <![CDATA[Veteran Product Marketplace Apex Gear]]> Tue, 23 Nov 2021 08:00:00 +0000 Scott DeLuzio https://drive-on-podcast.castos.com/podcasts/2296/episodes/veteran-product-marketplace-apex-gear full 132 false 00:44:21 <![CDATA[Connecting With Veterans]]> Tue, 16 Nov 2021 08:00:00 +0000 Scott DeLuzio https://drive-on-podcast.castos.com/podcasts/2296/episodes/connecting-with-veterans full 131 false 00:51:41 <![CDATA[Tribute to Wes: Burn Pits and Cancer]]> Thu, 11 Nov 2021 08:00:00 +0000 Scott DeLuzio https://drive-on-podcast.castos.com/podcasts/2296/episodes/tribute-to-wes-burn-pits-and-cancer full 130 false 02:11:36 <![CDATA[Military Service Vaccine Injuries]]> Tue, 09 Nov 2021 08:00:00 +0000 Scott DeLuzio https://drive-on-podcast.castos.com/podcasts/2296/episodes/military-service-vaccine-injuries full 129 false 00:49:09 <![CDATA[Camouflaged Sisters]]> Tue, 02 Nov 2021 08:00:00 +0000 Scott DeLuzio https://drive-on-podcast.castos.com/podcasts/2296/episodes/camouflaged-sisters full 128 false 00:35:32 <![CDATA[Battlefields To Ballfields]]> Tue, 26 Oct 2021 08:00:00 +0000 Scott DeLuzio https://drive-on-podcast.castos.com/podcasts/2296/episodes/battlefields-to-ballfields full 127 false 00:34:49 <![CDATA[From Mogadishu to a Hard Rock Band]]> Tue, 19 Oct 2021 08:00:00 +0000 Scott DeLuzio https://drive-on-podcast.castos.com/podcasts/2296/episodes/from-mogadishu-to-a-hard-rock-band full 126 false 00:46:56 <![CDATA[Repurpose Yourself After The Military]]> Tue, 12 Oct 2021 08:00:00 +0000 Scott DeLuzio https://drive-on-podcast.castos.com/podcasts/2296/episodes/repurpose-yourself-after-the-military full 125 false 00:54:00 <![CDATA[Overcome the Enemy Inside You]]> Tue, 05 Oct 2021 08:00:00 +0000 Scott DeLuzio https://drive-on-podcast.castos.com/podcasts/2296/episodes/overcome-the-enemy-inside-you full 124 false 00:54:32 <![CDATA[Hold My Guns Suicide Prevention]]> Tue, 28 Sep 2021 08:00:00 +0000 Scott DeLuzio https://drive-on-podcast.castos.com/podcasts/2296/episodes/hold-my-guns-suicide-prevention full 123 false 00:46:09 <![CDATA[The Enduring Campaign Helping Homeless Veterans]]> Tue, 21 Sep 2021 08:00:00 +0000 Scott DeLuzio https://drive-on-podcast.castos.com/podcasts/2296/episodes/the-enduring-campaign-helping-homeless-veterans full 122 false 00:47:19 <![CDATA[Special Ops Vet and Signs of PTSD]]> Tue, 14 Sep 2021 08:00:00 +0000 Scott DeLuzio https://drive-on-podcast.castos.com/podcasts/2296/episodes/special-ops-vet-and-signs-of-ptsd full 121 false 00:53:13 <![CDATA[Surviving Son]]> Thu, 09 Sep 2021 16:11:00 +0000 Scott DeLuzio https://drive-on-podcast.castos.com/podcasts/2296/episodes/surviving-son full 120 false 00:18:57 <![CDATA[What Happens Behind the Therapy Door]]> Tue, 07 Sep 2021 08:00:00 +0000 Scott DeLuzio https://drive-on-podcast.castos.com/podcasts/2296/episodes/what-happens-behind-the-therapy-door full 119 false 00:55:59 <![CDATA[A Rocky Transition and Choosing to Change Course]]> Tue, 31 Aug 2021 08:00:00 +0000 Scott DeLuzio https://drive-on-podcast.castos.com/podcasts/2296/episodes/a-rocky-transition-and-choosing-to-change-course full 118 false 00:51:18 <![CDATA[Dual Military Couple on Mental Health and Deployments]]> Tue, 24 Aug 2021 08:00:00 +0000 Scott DeLuzio https://drive-on-podcast.castos.com/podcasts/2296/episodes/dual-military-couple-on-mental-health-and-deployments Heath & Jamie Britt talk to me about their podcast, E-14 Podcast, being a dual military couple, grief, loss, PTSD, and so much more!]]> full 117 false Heath & Jamie Britt talk to me about their podcast, E-14 Podcast, being a dual military couple, grief, loss, PTSD, and so much more!]]> 00:41:40 <![CDATA[Having The Right Attitude - and a Giveaway Contest!]]> Tue, 17 Aug 2021 08:00:00 +0000 Scott DeLuzio https://drive-on-podcast.castos.com/podcasts/2296/episodes/having-the-right-attitude-and-a-giveaway-contest full 116 false 00:55:54 <![CDATA[Equine Assisted Psychotherapy]]> Tue, 10 Aug 2021 08:00:00 +0000 Scott DeLuzio https://drive-on-podcast.castos.com/podcasts/2296/episodes/equine-assisted-psychotherapy full 115 false 00:40:49 <![CDATA[Women Veterans Alliance]]> Tue, 03 Aug 2021 08:00:00 +0000 Scott DeLuzio https://drive-on-podcast.castos.com/podcasts/2296/episodes/women-veterans-alliance full 114 false 00:40:33 <![CDATA[Combating Veteran Homelessness and Suicide]]> Tue, 27 Jul 2021 08:00:00 +0000 Scott DeLuzio https://drive-on-podcast.castos.com/podcasts/2296/episodes/combating-veteran-homelessness-and-suicide full 113 false 00:45:18 <![CDATA[Australian Veteran on PTSD, Trauma, and Grief]]> Tue, 20 Jul 2021 08:00:00 +0000 Scott DeLuzio https://drive-on-podcast.castos.com/podcasts/2296/episodes/australian-veteran-on-ptsd-trauma-and-grief full 112 false 01:16:13 <![CDATA[Get Your Story Out There]]> Tue, 13 Jul 2021 08:00:00 +0000 Scott DeLuzio https://drive-on-podcast.castos.com/podcasts/2296/episodes/get-your-story-out-there full 111 false 00:31:24 <![CDATA[Finding Purpose and The French Foreign Legion]]> Tue, 06 Jul 2021 08:00:00 +0000 Scott DeLuzio https://drive-on-podcast.castos.com/podcasts/2296/episodes/finding-purpose-and-the-french-foreign-legion full 110 false 00:49:41 <![CDATA[Importance of Telling Your Story]]> Tue, 29 Jun 2021 08:00:00 +0000 Scott DeLuzio https://drive-on-podcast.castos.com/podcasts/2296/episodes/importance-of-telling-your-story full 109 false 00:38:53 <![CDATA[Re4ormed]]> Tue, 22 Jun 2021 08:00:00 +0000 Scott DeLuzio https://drive-on-podcast.castos.com/podcasts/2296/episodes/re4ormed full 108 false 00:47:26 <![CDATA[American Savage]]> Tue, 15 Jun 2021 08:00:00 +0000 Scott DeLuzio https://drive-on-podcast.castos.com/podcasts/2296/episodes/american-savage full 107 false 00:32:44 <![CDATA[The Hurricane Within]]> Tue, 08 Jun 2021 08:00:00 +0000 Scott DeLuzio https://drive-on-podcast.castos.com/podcasts/2296/episodes/the-hurricane-within full 106 false 00:27:17 <![CDATA[Warriors Ethos]]> Tue, 01 Jun 2021 08:00:00 +0000 Scott DeLuzio https://drive-on-podcast.castos.com/podcasts/2296/episodes/warriors-ethos full 105 false 00:44:37 <![CDATA[Blue Star Academy]]> Tue, 25 May 2021 08:00:00 +0000 Scott DeLuzio https://drive-on-podcast.castos.com/podcasts/2296/episodes/blue-star-academy full 104 false 00:29:49 <![CDATA[Post Military Education and Becoming an Entrepreneur]]> Tue, 18 May 2021 08:00:00 +0000 Scott DeLuzio https://drive-on-podcast.castos.com/podcasts/2296/episodes/post-military-education-and-becoming-an-entrepreneur James Dunnigan talks about his time in the Marine Corps and his transition out of the military to civilian life. He offers a lot of great advice to transitioning veterans.]]> full 103 false James Dunnigan talks about his time in the Marine Corps and his transition out of the military to civilian life. He offers a lot of great advice to transitioning veterans.]]> 00:51:41 <![CDATA[Ruck 'N' Run]]> Tue, 11 May 2021 08:00:00 +0000 Scott DeLuzio https://drive-on-podcast.castos.com/podcasts/2296/episodes/ruck-n-run full 102 false 00:53:44 <![CDATA[Proudly She Served]]> Tue, 04 May 2021 08:00:00 +0000 Scott DeLuzio https://drive-on-podcast.castos.com/podcasts/2296/episodes/proudly-she-served full 101 false 00:35:56 <![CDATA[Episode 100]]> Tue, 27 Apr 2021 08:00:00 +0000 Scott DeLuzio https://drive-on-podcast.castos.com/podcasts/2296/episodes/episode-100 full 100 false 00:21:44 <![CDATA[Transitioning and Camaraderie]]> Tue, 20 Apr 2021 08:00:00 +0000 Scott DeLuzio https://drive-on-podcast.castos.com/podcasts/2296/episodes/transitioning-and-camaraderie full 99 false 00:45:30 <![CDATA[Bottled Away Sharing a Veteran's Story]]> Tue, 13 Apr 2021 08:00:00 +0000 Scott DeLuzio https://drive-on-podcast.castos.com/podcasts/2296/episodes/bottled-away-sharing-a-veterans-story full 98 false 00:45:08 <![CDATA[Oath to Country Foundation]]> Tue, 06 Apr 2021 08:00:00 +0000 Scott DeLuzio https://drive-on-podcast.castos.com/podcasts/2296/episodes/oath-to-country-foundation full 97 false 01:04:38 <![CDATA[Price Of Freedom Foundation]]> Tue, 30 Mar 2021 08:00:00 +0000 Scott DeLuzio https://drive-on-podcast.castos.com/podcasts/2296/episodes/price-of-freedom-foundation full 96 false 00:36:56 <![CDATA[Make Veterans Great Again]]> Tue, 23 Mar 2021 08:00:00 +0000 Scott DeLuzio https://drive-on-podcast.castos.com/podcasts/2296/episodes/make-veterans-great-again full 95 false 00:38:03 <![CDATA[VA Disability Benefits]]> Tue, 16 Mar 2021 08:00:00 +0000 Scott DeLuzio https://drive-on-podcast.castos.com/podcasts/2296/episodes/va-disability-benefits full 94 false 00:36:16 <![CDATA[Lucky Break]]> Tue, 09 Mar 2021 08:00:00 +0000 Scott DeLuzio https://drive-on-podcast.castos.com/podcasts/2296/episodes/lucky-break full 93 false 00:33:30 <![CDATA[Another Average Joe]]> Tue, 02 Mar 2021 08:00:00 +0000 Scott DeLuzio https://drive-on-podcast.castos.com/podcasts/2296/episodes/another-average-joe full 92 false 00:31:34 <![CDATA[Helping CPL Thae Ohu]]> Tue, 23 Feb 2021 08:00:00 +0000 Scott DeLuzio https://drive-on-podcast.castos.com/podcasts/2296/episodes/helping-cpl-thae-ohu full 91 false 00:26:59 <![CDATA[Art After Combat]]> Tue, 16 Feb 2021 08:00:00 +0000 Scott DeLuzio https://drive-on-podcast.castos.com/podcasts/2296/episodes/art-after-combat full 90 false 00:36:36 <![CDATA[GI Resupply]]> Tue, 09 Feb 2021 08:00:00 +0000 Scott DeLuzio https://drive-on-podcast.castos.com/podcasts/2296/episodes/gi-resupply full 89 false 00:34:42 <![CDATA[The Voice of Leadership]]> Tue, 02 Feb 2021 08:00:00 +0000 Scott DeLuzio https://drive-on-podcast.castos.com/podcasts/2296/episodes/the-voice-of-leadership full 88 false 01:00:49 <![CDATA[Military Transitions To A Post Military Career]]> Tue, 26 Jan 2021 08:00:00 +0000 Scott DeLuzio https://drive-on-podcast.castos.com/podcasts/2296/episodes/military-transitions-to-a-post-military-career full 87 false 00:44:56 <![CDATA[Claymore Vets]]> Tue, 19 Jan 2021 08:00:00 +0000 Scott DeLuzio https://drive-on-podcast.castos.com/podcasts/2296/episodes/claymore-vets full 86 false 00:37:33 <![CDATA[Ghosts Of The Valley]]> Tue, 12 Jan 2021 08:00:00 +0000 Scott DeLuzio https://drive-on-podcast.castos.com/podcasts/2296/episodes/ghosts-of-the-valley full 85 false 00:26:17 <![CDATA[VetPark]]> Tue, 05 Jan 2021 08:00:00 +0000 Scott DeLuzio https://drive-on-podcast.castos.com/podcasts/2296/episodes/vetpark full 84 false 00:58:38 <![CDATA[Breaking Barriers]]> Tue, 29 Dec 2020 08:00:00 +0000 Scott DeLuzio https://drive-on-podcast.castos.com/podcasts/2296/episodes/breaking-barriers full 83 false 00:56:40 <![CDATA[Real Talk Saves A Rocky Military Transition]]> Tue, 22 Dec 2020 08:00:00 +0000 Scott DeLuzio https://drive-on-podcast.castos.com/podcasts/2296/episodes/real-talk-saves-a-rocky-military-transition full 82 false 00:55:53 <![CDATA[MyMilitaryBenefits.com]]> Tue, 15 Dec 2020 08:00:00 +0000 Scott DeLuzio https://drive-on-podcast.castos.com/podcasts/2296/episodes/mymilitarybenefits-com full 81 false 00:39:59 <![CDATA[Recorded Live: Sharing Your Story [Veterans Day 2020]]]> Tue, 08 Dec 2020 08:00:00 +0000 Scott DeLuzio https://drive-on-podcast.castos.com/podcasts/2296/episodes/recorded-live-sharing-your-story-veterans-day-2020 This episode was recorded live at a ceremony on Veterans Day 2020 where I had the opportunity to share my story and the stories of several of my past guests. It was an honor to share these stories with this audience and I’m pleased to be able to share the stories with you on this podcast.]]> full 80 false This episode was recorded live at a ceremony on Veterans Day 2020 where I had the opportunity to share my story and the stories of several of my past guests. It was an honor to share these stories with this audience and I’m pleased to be able to share the stories with you on this podcast.]]> 00:23:15 <![CDATA[Deployment Stresses and Leadership Lessons From A Navy Seal]]> Tue, 01 Dec 2020 08:00:53 +0000 Scott DeLuzio https://drive-on-podcast.castos.com/podcasts/2296/episodes/deployment-stresses-and-leadership-lessons-from-a-navy-seal After a 31+ year career in the Navy, John Havlik discusses his research into deployment stress, burnout prevention, and leadership lessons learned as a Navy SEAL.]]> full 79 false After a 31+ year career in the Navy, John Havlik discusses his research into deployment stress, burnout prevention, and leadership lessons learned as a Navy SEAL.]]> 00:46:13 <![CDATA[Prolonged Exposure Therapy and Finding Purpose]]> Tue, 24 Nov 2020 08:00:49 +0000 Scott DeLuzio https://drive-on-podcast.castos.com/podcasts/2296/episodes/prolonged-exposure-therapy-and-finding-purpose full 78 false 01:05:17 <![CDATA[Preventing Burnout]]> Tue, 17 Nov 2020 08:00:02 +0000 Scott DeLuzio https://drive-on-podcast.castos.com/podcasts/2296/episodes/preventing-burnout full 77 false 00:44:31 <![CDATA[Veterans Day]]> Tue, 10 Nov 2020 08:00:00 +0000 Scott DeLuzio https://drive-on-podcast.castos.com/podcasts/2296/episodes/veterans-day full 76 false 00:16:10 <![CDATA[Succeeding In A Post Military Career]]> Tue, 03 Nov 2020 08:00:36 +0000 Scott DeLuzio https://drive-on-podcast.castos.com/podcasts/2296/episodes/succeeding-in-a-post-military-career full 75 false 00:46:45 <![CDATA[Operation Freelance]]> Tue, 27 Oct 2020 08:00:35 +0000 Scott DeLuzio https://drive-on-podcast.castos.com/podcasts/2296/episodes/operation-freelance full 74 false 00:32:40 <![CDATA[Burden of Command & Drive On Collaboration]]> Tue, 20 Oct 2020 08:00:07 +0000 Scott DeLuzio https://drive-on-podcast.castos.com/podcasts/2296/episodes/burden-of-command-drive-on-collaboration full 73 false 01:00:59 <![CDATA[The Catalyst]]> Tue, 13 Oct 2020 08:00:29 +0000 Scott DeLuzio https://drive-on-podcast.castos.com/podcasts/2296/episodes/the-catalyst full 72 false 00:34:36 <![CDATA[Mental Resilience & Physical Fitness]]> Tue, 06 Oct 2020 08:00:29 +0000 Scott DeLuzio https://drive-on-podcast.castos.com/podcasts/2296/episodes/mental-resilience-physical-fitness full 71 false 00:34:31 <![CDATA[Rescue to Recovery]]> Tue, 29 Sep 2020 08:00:02 +0000 Scott DeLuzio https://drive-on-podcast.castos.com/podcasts/2296/episodes/rescue-to-recovery full 70 false 00:39:21 <![CDATA[Vitanya Brain Performance]]> Tue, 22 Sep 2020 08:00:00 +0000 Scott DeLuzio https://drive-on-podcast.castos.com/podcasts/2296/episodes/vitanya-brain-performance full 69 false 00:36:04 <![CDATA[Magical Order of Brave Knights]]> Tue, 15 Sep 2020 08:00:00 +0000 Scott DeLuzio https://drive-on-podcast.castos.com/podcasts/2296/episodes/magical-order-of-brave-knights full 68 false 00:36:57 <![CDATA[G. I. Low]]> Tue, 08 Sep 2020 08:00:00 +0000 Scott DeLuzio https://drive-on-podcast.castos.com/podcasts/2296/episodes/g-i-low full 67 false 00:55:50 <![CDATA[The Veteran Professional]]> Tue, 01 Sep 2020 08:00:00 +0000 Scott DeLuzio https://drive-on-podcast.castos.com/podcasts/2296/episodes/the-veteran-professional full 66 false 00:35:49 <![CDATA[10 Year Anniversary]]> Tue, 25 Aug 2020 08:00:00 +0000 Scott DeLuzio https://drive-on-podcast.castos.com/podcasts/2296/episodes/10-year-anniversary full 65 false 01:10:38 <![CDATA[Kruse Corner]]> Tue, 18 Aug 2020 08:00:00 +0000 Scott DeLuzio https://drive-on-podcast.castos.com/podcasts/2296/episodes/kruse-corner full 64 false 00:30:12 <![CDATA[Wellness for Vets]]> Tue, 11 Aug 2020 08:00:00 +0000 Scott DeLuzio https://drive-on-podcast.castos.com/podcasts/2296/episodes/wellness-for-vets full 63 false 00:26:03 <![CDATA[Heroic Gardens]]> Tue, 04 Aug 2020 08:00:00 +0000 Scott DeLuzio https://drive-on-podcast.castos.com/podcasts/2296/episodes/heroic-gardens full 62 false 00:40:58 <![CDATA[The Spouse Angle]]> Tue, 28 Jul 2020 08:00:00 +0000 Scott DeLuzio https://drive-on-podcast.castos.com/podcasts/2296/episodes/the-spouse-angle full 61 false 00:32:53 <![CDATA[Choosing To Find The Good]]> Tue, 21 Jul 2020 08:00:00 +0000 Scott DeLuzio https://drive-on-podcast.castos.com/podcasts/2296/episodes/choosing-to-find-the-good full 60 false 00:51:05 <![CDATA[Tango Alpha Lima]]> Tue, 14 Jul 2020 08:00:00 +0000 Scott DeLuzio https://drive-on-podcast.castos.com/podcasts/2296/episodes/tango-alpha-lima full 59 false 00:37:10 <![CDATA[How Fisher House Supports The Military Community]]> Tue, 07 Jul 2020 08:00:00 +0000 Scott DeLuzio https://drive-on-podcast.castos.com/podcasts/2296/episodes/how-fisher-house-supports-the-military-community full 58 false 00:44:21 <![CDATA[Power of Sharing Your Story]]> Tue, 30 Jun 2020 08:00:00 +0000 Scott DeLuzio https://drive-on-podcast.castos.com/podcasts/2296/episodes/power-of-sharing-your-story full 57 false 00:47:49 <![CDATA[Ironman Gold Star Initiative]]> Tue, 23 Jun 2020 08:00:00 +0000 Scott DeLuzio https://drive-on-podcast.castos.com/podcasts/2296/episodes/ironman-gold-star-initiative full 56 false 00:48:16 <![CDATA[Veteran Entrepreneurs]]> Tue, 16 Jun 2020 08:00:00 +0000 Scott DeLuzio https://drive-on-podcast.castos.com/podcasts/2296/episodes/veteran-entrepreneurs full 55 false 00:41:49 <![CDATA[Hope And Healing For The Veteran Community]]> Tue, 09 Jun 2020 08:00:00 +0000 Scott DeLuzio https://drive-on-podcast.castos.com/podcasts/2296/episodes/hope-and-healing-for-the-veteran-community full 54 false 00:41:51 <![CDATA[Serve Something Bigger Than Yourself]]> Tue, 02 Jun 2020 08:00:00 +0000 Scott DeLuzio https://drive-on-podcast.castos.com/podcasts/2296/episodes/serve-something-bigger-than-yourself full 53 false 00:21:44 <![CDATA[Helping Veterans and the Community]]> Tue, 26 May 2020 01:00:00 +0000 Scott DeLuzio https://drive-on-podcast.castos.com/podcasts/2296/episodes/helping-veterans-and-the-community In this episode, Christopher Page talks about the importance of community involvement. He’s worked with his local community to do everything from 5x the size of his local American Legion post, raise awareness for suicide prevention, homelessness amongst veterans, TBI, PTSD, and other veteran related issues.

He’s done a lot of great work, that you’ll appreciate if you have a soft spot in your heart for veterans.

Links & Resources

Transcript Expand

Scott DeLuzio:    00:03    Thanks for tuning in to the Drive On Podcast where we talk about issues affecting veterans after they get out of the military. Before we get started, I’d like to ask a favor. If you haven’t done so already, please rate and review the show on Apple podcasts. If you’ve already done that. Thank you. These ratings help the show get discovered so it can reach a wider audience. And while you’re there, click the subscribe button so that you get notified of new episodes as soon as they come out. If you don’t use Apple podcasts, you can visit DriveOnPodcast.com/subscribe to find other ways of subscribing, including our email list. I’m your host Scott DeLuzio. And now let’s get on with the show.

Scott DeLuzio:    00:45    Hey everyone. Today my guest is Christopher Page. Christopher has been the Commander of an American Legion post in New Jersey for the last three years, and during that time he grew the membership through strengthening the ties to the local community. He’s currently moving on to be the Vice Commander in the County where he’s working to entice younger veterans to join the American Legion. Christopher also started a nonprofit that helps raise awareness for veteran mental health, suicide awareness and several other issues. So Christopher, thank you for joining us today. Why don’t you go ahead and tell us a little bit about yourself? I’m sure you can fill in some of the gaps where I left off in the intro, but why don’t you tell us a little bit about yourself and what you do there.

Chris Page:    01:31    Thank you very much. I really appreciate this opportunity to come on here. So, a little bit about myself is that I’ve been in the Army for a little over 16 years now. I’m a senior NCO working a staff position and I also teach op sec

Chris Page:    01:48    where it’s a bit of running around to a couple of the national guard units here up and down the East coast and Reserve units. So that’s been a pretty interesting part of my career having left running around in the woods and chasing after soldiers a lot. It’s actually quite relaxing before going down to a first sgt. position, which I think I’m going to be doing sometime this fall. The other things I do is that I started up a great little nonprofit in New York City and celebrating the Army’s birthday. Every year we pick an army veteran who has, since hanging up the uniform, gone on to do great things within their community. The way of giving back and how that all started was several years ago, I was standing around with a couple of Marine friends of mine celebrating the Marine Corps birthday on November 10th.

Chris Page:    02:41    So as we are raising glasses to the Marine Corps, no better friend, no worse enemy, they all started chiding me on why the Army has no interest in doing something similar. So, after a few beverages, we all decided that it would be in our best interest to do something similar for the Army in New York City. Why not? Fortunately for me, I knew the head of Army...

]]> full 52 false In this episode, Christopher Page talks about the importance of community involvement. He’s worked with his local community to do everything from 5x the size of his local American Legion post, raise awareness for suicide prevention, homelessness amongst veterans, TBI, PTSD, and other veteran related issues.

He’s done a lot of great work, that you’ll appreciate if you have a soft spot in your heart for veterans.

Links & Resources

Transcript Expand

Scott DeLuzio:    00:03    Thanks for tuning in to the Drive On Podcast where we talk about issues affecting veterans after they get out of the military. Before we get started, I’d like to ask a favor. If you haven’t done so already, please rate and review the show on Apple podcasts. If you’ve already done that. Thank you. These ratings help the show get discovered so it can reach a wider audience. And while you’re there, click the subscribe button so that you get notified of new episodes as soon as they come out. If you don’t use Apple podcasts, you can visit DriveOnPodcast.com/subscribe to find other ways of subscribing, including our email list. I’m your host Scott DeLuzio. And now let’s get on with the show.

Scott DeLuzio:    00:45    Hey everyone. Today my guest is Christopher Page. Christopher has been the Commander of an American Legion post in New Jersey for the last three years, and during that time he grew the membership through strengthening the ties to the local community. He’s currently moving on to be the Vice Commander in the County where he’s working to entice younger veterans to join the American Legion. Christopher also started a nonprofit that helps raise awareness for veteran mental health, suicide awareness and several other issues. So Christopher, thank you for joining us today. Why don’t you go ahead and tell us a little bit about yourself? I’m sure you can fill in some of the gaps where I left off in the intro, but why don’t you tell us a little bit about yourself and what you do there.

Chris Page:    01:31    Thank you very much. I really appreciate this opportunity to come on here. So, a little bit about myself is that I’ve been in the Army for a little over 16 years now. I’m a senior NCO working a staff position and I also teach op sec

Chris Page:    01:48    where it’s a bit of running around to a couple of the national guard units here up and down the East coast and Reserve units. So that’s been a pretty interesting part of my career having left running around in the woods and chasing after soldiers a lot. It’s actually quite relaxing before going down to a first sgt. position, which I think I’m going to be doing sometime this fall. The other things I do is that I started up a great little nonprofit in New York City and celebrating the Army’s birthday. Every year we pick an army veteran who has, since hanging up the uniform, gone on to do great things within their community. The way of giving back and how that all started was several years ago, I was standing around with a couple of Marine friends of mine celebrating the Marine Corps birthday on November 10th.

Chris Page:    02:41    So as we are raising glasses to the Marine Corps, no better friend, no worse enemy, they all started chiding me on why the Army has no interest in doing something similar. So, after a few beverages, we all decided that it would be in our best interest to do something similar for the Army in New York City. Why not? Fortunately for me, I knew the head of Army public affairs in New York City and he being a former Marine was there, having a very easy time of pitching this to General Odierno who loves coming to New York City quite a bit. And so, it was a very easy sell to get General Odierno to come to New York City. And in doing so that kind of legitimized our drunken conversation on why the Army doesn’t celebrate its Army with a birthday party like the Marine Corps does.

Chris Page:    03:34    And after General Odierno had a great time at our first event, I guess in his notes or his staff’s notes, they said next year, bigger and better. So, we founded it as a nonprofit and we had put a little bit of meat and potatoes behind the effort. We couldn’t just have a nonprofit to just throw a party once a year. So, we had to do some educational work around that as well to become a legitimate nonprofit. So now we hold panels throughout the year and we do other events such as ruck marching, sailing, you name it. We’re out there in the community, engaged with folks doing events to raise awareness around, suicide prevention, homelessness amongst veterans, TBI, PTSD and a bunch of the other big picture issues that are framed around everything they’re dealing with within the veterans’ space right now.

Chris Page:    04:35    So we put these events on and we do a lot of great work within the community with our messaging. And to top it all off, we then end up having a great birthday party on or around June 14th every year. A lot of people in the Army don’t know that the Army birthday is celebrated and it is June 14th, although the Reserves and the Guard have a different birthday. We celebrate it on the big Army birthday party and it’s a fairly inclusive event. So without the help of those Marines, we wouldn’t exist. So, what happened is we ended up inviting a disproportionate number of Marines to these events, and that’s led to a couple of them making fun of it, calling it Marine week. Then they tag our pictures and they #ataMarine week and they’re trying to get their jobs and we give it back to them just as much.

Chris Page:    05:34    But, it’s out of a shared love.  I have no hard feelings towards any Marines. My time in Iraq, I served almost exclusively with Marines and that was one of the best experiences of my life working with those guys and gals. Previous recipients of our award, which is the soldier for life award, have been folks who help build the Vietnam Veteran Memorial down in Washington DC.  Jan Scruggs. We’ve honored Harry Robinson. He’s a world-renowned architect, African American veteran, and Vietnam. He was a Ranger and that guy’s got stories for days on his short tour in Vietnam, which are just as absurd as you could imagine. Having lived a soldier’s life, his stories are just on par with anything you can imagine as absurd as they are.

Chris Page:    06:32    And then we have the CEO Emeritus of HBO, Bill Nelson. He was our first award recipient who, basically volunteered to go to Vietnam, served in the 101st Airborne. I wonder, if it was still airborne and did a great job over in Vietnam. He served honorably. He ended up, unfortunately having to return with the remains of his best friend who they volunteered together to join the Army and when he came back here, his story is also incredible, by the way, and I’m not going to do justice on this, but he came back here bringing the remains of his best friend and a bunch of his friends of his family. They’re all firefighters, you know, total blue collar, New York guys. They said, “Hey, you know, you’ve done you fought your war. There’s no reason for you to go back.

Chris Page:    07:26    And he told them straight up that, no, I’m going back. My soldiers need me. And he went back, completed his tour, finished his time in the army honorably, and then came back to go on to do great things in the community, donates regularly to great charitable organizations, such as the Vietnam Veterans Memorial in downtown New York City to honor New Yorkers who lost their lives in Vietnam as well as a plethora of other nonprofits where he works. And so, he was our first award recipient. We could think of no better person to do that. I mean, coming out from the enlisted ranks to be CEO of a company, a fortune 500 company, that’s incredibly impressive for what he’s done.

Scott DeLuzio:    08:14    Well, he sounds like an impressive person and impressive background from  what you’ve told us here in the last minute or two about this person and I’m sure you can fill volumes of books with stories that he has that would be just as interesting to listen to or to read.

Chris Page:    08:40    The best part about that is that most of the folks that we’ve honored there, have been enlisted from Vietnam. The best thing about all those folks, they are as humble as it can be, that there’s no air about them. They want to help this next generation of war fighter get what they’re entitled to and not have to be spat on upon their return. So, I give massive kudos to our brothers and sisters who fought in Vietnam and came home and did all that horribly and went about quietly living their lives because we owe so much to those men and women.  I can’t thank them enough.

Scott DeLuzio:    09:21    Yeah, we certainly do. So, this episode, we’re recording it a little bit before Memorial Day, but this will be coming up a day after Memorial Day. That’s a great way to remember the people who didn’t make it home. Talking about people like this who, honor their sacrifice by going back even though he was told, you’ve done your duty, you don’t need to go back. People like that will do their job, do their duty, and go back and honor the memory of the people who have fallen. It’s really, really amazing to hear stories like that. Thank you for sharing that story about him and it’s really great that as your organization is doing what they do and recognizing these people who are standing out as pillars of their community after their service.

Chris Page:    10:32    Yeah. They’re very quiet pillars of the community too. These folks, you wouldn’t know, there’s no airs about them. Very humble. They’ve seen the worst of humanity and then they’ve gone to do great things within their community and I can’t thank them enough. That then leads me onto what I do for the American Legion and my local VFW, although to a lesser extent with them, but we work together because we’re both small and our communities are growing now. My civilian side of the house, I do regulatory compliance and I’ve been working in that space in New York City for some time. I had worked a lot within American Legion posts within the New York athletic club in Midtown Manhattan. And there you have quite a bit of a diverse group of individuals who are very much in the mindset of that using that place as a great place to network, to get career advice, career advancement, and do a lot of great things within that local community.

Chris Page:    11:40    Having that kind of a viewpoint, and I don’t know if you know very much about the New York athletic club, but it literally sits on the South end of Central Park. So, if you go up to the rooftop, you’re looking straight up central park and it’s an amazing venue for events, which is where we also hold our army birthday gala. Well, the ties to the community are not as strong as they would be for maybe an American Legion post or a VFW in a small town in Manhattan you kind of get lost in the concrete jungle and you just find your peers in that space. So, for the American Legion, it happens to be better and they’re highly motivated veterans. So, a good chunk of the people belong there.

Chris Page:    12:33    There are Academy grads that went on to Columbia or Wharton, you name it, very well-known and established business schools. And then you have a couple of highly motivated, former enlisted folks as well who are going down the same career path as these officers. So you’re having these two groups come together for a common mission of trying to bring themselves up in the business community in New York City, whether it be in finance, law, entertainment, anything that basically New York City has to offer. It’s a great spot for that and the club itself is a fantastic venue as well. However, if you go out again to an American Legion post or VFW in a small town, you’re going to be doing a lot more work with the local schools, the local community, and you’ll see a lot more of the four pillars that most folks know who are members of the VFW and the American Legion,

Chris Page:    13:44    know what those four pillars are. So, having then moved from New York City several years ago to now living with my wife, we found a local American Legion post that was basically falling apart, literally falling apart. About 10 years ago, the building which stood on the ground where it currently stands and, I highly recommend everyone going to check out the Facebook page, because the building is actually a beautiful and the view of Midtown, Manhattan’s even much better. The building that was there beforehand was the original building that had been on the site prior to the American Legion post’s members buying it right after WWI. You can imagine what kind of a state that building was in about 10 years ago after being in existence for about a 100+ years. What happened was the local folks in the town at city hall, they ended up getting a bunch of money to rebuild the building. From there it is basically, a fantastic community center/meeting point for veterans to help bring together the community basically.

Scott DeLuzio:    15:08    When we were talking, before we started recording, you had mentioned that you worked on growing the membership. I believe it was at that post when you first started out there, it was somewhere around 20 or so members and in a couple of years you grew that to well over 100 members, which is somewhere around five times the number of members in a pretty short amount of time. What was it that you did? What did you do to go out and find those members? And more importantly, I guess, how did you get them to become members? Was it through the revitalization of the building or was it through the work in the community? What were some of those things that you were doing?

Chris Page:    15:55    It was a combination of a few things. This is a problem that’s said at a lot of different American legions, VFWs, you name it across the country.  The older, typically Vietnam era, veterans don’t know how to entice the younger veterans to come into their posts and what you basically just need is defined. And maybe a handful of younger veterans who want to come in and create, basically let them off any kind of leash that they might be put on by normal leadership that happened to be in there. And this is the way business has been done for as long as I’ve been here.  Let them do things. Let them take over some of the leadership positions, let them help run the post. And that’s basically what happened for us. I took over, first thing I did was I invited a bunch of my veteran friends in the area to come join the post.

Chris Page:    16:56    It wasn’t that hard of a sell and they would come to the post and see the view of Midtown Manhattan and they were like immediate, like sign me up I want a part of this, it’s gorgeous. It sits right next to a park and looks right at Midtown Manhattan and it’s just absolutely stunning. It’s just a great place to sit down after a long week if you want to have a cigar or beverage or sit there and play cards or on weekends we’ll barbecue. So that was the first thing. I’ve set that in motion to invite a couple of friends over. And once I got them hooked on the view, then it got to, “Hey, we need to get some of this work done around this post.”

Chris Page:    17:37    So a lot of cleaning happened and we cleaned the place up. We removed some needless furniture that had been sitting around for forever. Basically, just threw it in the dumpster because it was just trashed. And we set to task with fixing the place up. From there we started building ties with the community. So, a lot of the folks that were members there had just fallen out of contact with people in the community. So they’re much older in their seventies, so none of their kids were in schools anymore. They were all retired from either the local fire department or the police department. So they didn’t know who the younger members were at those places. And so, I reached out by walking there and started talking to some of the guys and women that were in the police force and the fire department, EMS and as well as the schools.

Chris Page:    18:34    And one of the great things about the Legion is what it does for community outreach and recognizes an outstanding member of the community. For one of the first things we did with that program was that in a town next to us, called West New York. What we did was we put a call out for all the police chiefs to get back to us so we can recognize a person for doing an outstanding job in the community. West New York was one of the first towns that replied to us and one of their police officers, actually went into a situation where there was a gentleman who wanted to commit suicide by cop. This police officer, think of this situation as you will, he sat down next to this individual who wanted to die and talked them down. He didn’t tase him, didn’t threaten him.

Chris Page:    19:32    He just saw this man who was in anguish, sat down next to him and very calmly talked him down from what he was considering. And the guy’s alive today because of this police officer’s heroic actions. So, we gave him a little bit of recognition, it went all the way up to our state level here in New Jersey. And we got a nice certificate, framed it, and we presented it to him. And so that was one of the other ways we reached out to the community. We also recognize annually a teacher in our community, which has gone above and beyond their station and reaching out to the kids who are in need, who maybe need a little extra work in helping with their schoolwork, homework or whatever the case may be.

Chris Page:    20:23    And we’ve done that now, this is our third year in a row that we’re doing this. Because of a lot of closures of other posts, our post now encompasses a wide area of the North Hudson County region. So we have a lot of schools to cover and a lot of police departments and first responders. So, things like that really helped us reconnect with community. All the mayors know who we are now. They see that we’re an active member of our community. They reach out to us for some advice on what to do with our community. Another person you might consider having on your podcast is the gentlemen who rebuilt the Hoboken American Legion post. That gentlemen, right after hurricane Sandy, their post was just destroyed.  Hoboken is basically at sea level, maybe a few feet above it.

Chris Page:    21:18    And a lot of the buildings there just got wiped out. So, they rebuilt their posts for housing for up to eight formerly homeless veterans. They’re doing amazing things there too. I’m very proud of our County, the American Legion post, and the VFWs. We’ve been doing a lot of work and doing outreach to help out the local folks impacted by Covid and hurricane Sandy. A lot of the work that’s done has helped out a lot now that we have solid County leadership, which I’m happy to be moving up to that level now so I can help as the County grows, especially bringing in younger veterans to help out their communities and do right by their elder brothers and sisters in arms as well as their families that they’re working with too.

Scott DeLuzio:    22:16     I think one of the great things about organizations like the American Legion is, and this maybe is something that a lot of people don’t recognize is, it’s not just a club where you go and have a drink and play cards. You know, there’s a lot of other things that go on. I’m sure you have that aspect of it too, where it’s kind of a social type of class, but there’s the community involvement that is really important, and once when you leave the service, you get out of the military, a lot of times people are looking for that type of a sense of purpose or sense of belonging and that type of thing and continuing to serve your community.  I know having been in the national guard, a lot of the job that you do is not necessarily the big federal missions, deployments to war zones and things like that.

Scott DeLuzio:    23:21    A lot of times it’s done on the local level and on the state level and helping your community, especially these days with Covid going on and supply distribution and things like that where the national guard is being called up around the country to help get PPE to the hospitals and to get food and other supplies distributed throughout the States. It really is a strong tie to the local community whereas, you know, the American Legion, VFW and other organizations like that also have that strong tie to the community. A couple of weeks ago I had somebody from the American Legion National headquarters on and he talked about the importance of the older members. I know you were saying how some of the older members, they didn’t really have the ties to the community. The flip side to that though, from what he was saying is, they tended to have more time available to them. You know, a lot of them being retired or just part time type of thing where they tended to act as mentors to the younger veterans.  I think that’s something that a lot of the younger veterans are maybe missing out on; they don’t have access to the

Scott DeLuzio:    24:44    wide range of experience, the life experience that a lot of these older veterans have gone through. They’ve made a lot of mistakes and they’re more than willing to open up and share their experiences with those younger veterans. They have the time to be present because they’re either retired or just working part time. So, now being able to entice those younger veterans into the American Legion, it’s now opening them up to this a wider range of experience, which is great. I’m glad to see that you found a way to get those younger veterans in. For a lot of people, myself included, just up until a few months ago, it was one of those things where I just felt like it was like an old man drinking club.

Scott DeLuzio:    25:37    You know, like it’s one of those things where you associate it with your grandparents’ generation, the World War II or Vietnam Vets who go there and they just go and hang out in a dark smoky bar and drink and tell war stories and stuff like that. And it wasn’t exactly.  But hearing these stories of the community involvement with the police officer that you honored or recognized for his service;  I can’t really think of anyone more deserving than someone like that.

Chris Page:    26:10    We have those kinds of ties to the community and it is what really will drive growth within these organizations. You’re absolutely right. A lot of the older members are great for mentorship, for educating us for what went right, what went wrong, especially they have the institutional knowledge of the local community. Unfortunately, some of the older ones, we still look out for them and try and help them out. But, unfortunately the younger veterans, I’m talking like guys and women, who maybe just did one tour and got out, they don’t necessarily connect. That’s an ingredient that we’ve managed to bridge where you have the intermediary age of guys who were in the senior ranks of NCOs, like myself or maybe some mid to senior rank officers.

Chris Page:    27:16    We have some of those as well who can, in their forties, and they’re still basically in their prime of their lives. But they’re the ones that are able to really connect with maybe some of the younger guys just because the age differences are just not that great. They oversee companies, they’re able to do the actual hiring for them or give them the advice or connect them with somebody who would be able to help them out. You need a breadth of varying ages in every post, and fortunately for us, we managed to hit that magic mixture of folks that are in there, and basically the makeup of our post is so diverse.

Chris Page:    28:08    It’s fantastic. You’ll have folks who work in government, local government, state government, a few folks that are retired, me who works on Wall Street. I’m not actually literally on Wall Street, but I work in a financial firm in Manhattan and we can bring in folks and we can help them out, especially the younger folks who are now using their GI bill. They come into our post and then they’re saying to us, “Hey, okay, now my last year of school, what do I do next?” And because I’ve been there, I’m able to help. I tell them my story and, maybe it’ll help them one way or another with some folks who might give an internship or just give them a chance. That’s needed at a lot of posts.

Scott DeLuzio:    28:54    Speaking of your story, maybe I can get a little personal with this and ask what led you to want to join the American Legion or the VFW in the first place? Did someone invite you in or was it just something that you felt like you were missing something and you decided to go seek that out on your own?

Chris Page:    29:17    A little bit of a mixture. So back to what you said, my grandfather belonged to a VFW not far from here actually. And when I had gotten off active duty because I spent some years on active duty and then I went to college here at Seton Hall University. His VFW was shut down.   A Vietnam veteran and I shut it. So, from my understanding is that they weren’t necessarily that great at right recognizing that the folks coming back from Vietnam were worthy of being members of their post. And so obviously there was a bit of a break off between veteran’s groups around that time, hence the growth of the Vietnam veterans of America. It was just one of the saddest moments because I remember being there as a kid in a smoke-filled room while grandpa was drinking very cheap Budweiser.

Chris Page:    30:17    The stories I heard in there from these older WW II veterans were just amazing and having come off of active duty and then going there and seeing that it was basically myself and a Vietnam veteran were the only ones there anymore because everyone had either just moved to Florida or were gone unfortunately. It was sad we had to shut the place down. We sold it and it no longer is in existence. So fast forward to a couple of years ago, um, my post again was down to like 20 something members. A bunch of those members were retired already in Florida? Not actually if at all.  I saw the post needed some just fixing up and little did I know the actual extent of what work would go into being a Commander at the post and I don’t regret it at all.

Chris Page:    31:16    But at the same time it was like this is basically a full-time job for me. Now on top of being a reservist and working full time in Manhattan and having a wife and a dog and trying to do a million different things, I have a third full time job. This is all I need. Fortunately for me though, some other great volunteers stepped up and really helped a lot, but it is quite a bit of work. You’re basically managing an office building almost.  I had to learn a lot about HVAC systems and all sorts of crazy things that I never thought in a million years I’d have to learn about. But here we are. That’s what led me to help save this place and bring it back.

Chris Page:    32:00    And a lot of the younger members who joined, my major selling point for them is what are you using to get through your college right now? And they say, well, the GI bill, well guess who made the GI bill? The American Legion, right?  I don’t say to them, “Hey, I expect you to be here for all these meetings.” We’ve actually scaled back meetings a lot. The older generation guys, they were meeting monthly and it was like, no, that’s not happening. You know, this could be an email. So we scaled back a lot of those kinds of activities. And then we just put out information. So, we do yoga at the post. My wife of all things, she went and got a yoga certification. So, now she teaches yoga at the post.

Chris Page:    32:45    It’s just a little bit of a donation to come and join. If younger veterans want to go do that…we did do an annual 5k run with a VFW. So, we do stuff with them as well. And so, folks can pick and choose what they want to do without the pressure of having to be there all the time and doing things for the post, which is great. And so, there’s no pressure to do things. They know that because of constant communication to them that we’re doing all these great community led efforts with their dues, which are helping pave the way. We do mental health awareness day; we do women’s health awareness day. We’ve done a couple of naturalization ceremonies at the post bringing in new Americans.

Chris Page:    33:33    One of the proudest moments ever in my entire life was staying there and bringing in 30 something brand new Americans from 23 different countries and then giving them their certificate, making them brand new Americans was amazing. And with the backdrop of New York city right behind us and the Hudson River, it was just beautiful. It was absolutely gorgeous. And, I had a lot of friends from around the world who said if they could really do their naturalization ceremony, they would want to do it at the post. Maybe even one day we’ll have an unofficial ceremony for you and just so you can get up there and do it. All this kind of like ties together with bringing these new veterans in and just sell to them plain and simple “Hey, your money goes to helping out the next generation of veterans with their GI bill because without that, the funding that comes in through your membership and your support at American Legion, that money’s not going down to DC.

Chris Page:    34:35    So those folks can fight on the Hill for you to help with your rights under anytime Congress wants to get their sticky fingers all over your GI bill funding and take that away from you.  He was there fighting the good fight to prevent that from happening because there’s no such thing as a sure thing. The way the winds blow down in DC just depends on what topic’s hot now. So you never know. Suddenly, your housing allowance for your GI bill might dry up and I try to afford living in Manhattan while attending NYU or Fordham.  It’s not going to happen. It’s not like back in the day when these guys coming back from WW II had housing set up for them and their monthly rent was probably like 50 bucks or whatever it was. If you’re looking at apartments in Manhattan for like anything less than $2,000 a month, that’s where the work of organizations like the American  Legion come in to help push the legislation along that supports the veterans and gets the benefits that they desperately need.

Scott DeLuzio:  It sounds like the nonprofit that you have has a lot of similar interaction with the community and things with mental health awareness and the homeless veterans and things like that. You know, trying to raise awareness for those things, those types of things, and helping with that. So, it seems like you certainly have your hands full with all of that, but it also seems like you’re juggling it all very well and maybe keeping all the plates spinning at the same time. So, hats off to you and the community, the members of your community and the American Legion and everything for helping all those people.

Scott DeLuzio:    36:37    It looks like we’re kind of coming up on time here. Sometimes these things go by quicker than you think. I want to thank you again for taking the time to join us and tell us about what you’re doing and how organizations like the American Legion can help out the community. How can people find out more about your organization maybe to donate, find out about your events, where can they go to find out about that?

Chris Page:    37:09    You can check us out on our social media page. Right now, we’re revamping our website because we have a very ambitious new commander coming in who wants to do a lot more with community, and he’s bringing on a solid team. So, our website’s under construction right now of all things because it makes sense due to a Covid. So now we’re doing a total revamp of a lot of things. Our Facebook page is still active and we’re active on Twitter and Instagram as well. I believe I sent you the links if you want to just pull those up and it’d be really appreciated.

Scott DeLuzio:    37:43    I add all those in the show notes.

Chris Page:    37:44    Yeah. And we try and lay out all the greatest and latest news that’s going on within our community. We try and highlight our members and what they’re doing in the community, and, if folks want to come out and either you can rent the place or just come in and check the place out, we’d love to have you there. It’s a fantastic venue and trust me, even when the weather is not good, the view of Manhattan is still fantastic, but we love to have anybody who wants to come out that we even have folks come out from national in Indianapolis. They love our post that much.

Scott DeLuzio:    38:24    That’s great.

Chris Page:    38:25    Yeah. So thank you very much for having me on here. I really appreciate it, and you yourself, if you want to come down, we love to have you at our post. If you want to do a live podcast from our post, I won’t be disappointed. I can show you a great view of the city and give you a little tour around town and you get to see firsthand all the things that we’re doing. And I’d love to introduce you to a lot of our veterans who do way more stuff than I do. And they’re so in touch with everything in the community.  Our members are just amazing, I just stand in humble aweness of everything that they’re doing to support. And it’s stuff that you just will never hear about in the national media just because it’s very community based and what they’re doing is just amazing and making such an incredible local impact.  I’d love to send them your way so you can give them some recognition because they’re just amazing.

Scott DeLuzio:    39:27    Yeah, it would be great to have people like that on the show because I’m always looking to try to get people who are doing things in either in their community for veterans as a whole, spread the word about those resources. Because a lot of times, people just don’t know that some of these resources even exist. And, if they’re out there and they’re available, waiting for people to show up, let’s get it done and get them access to these things, if we can. So, absolutely. After we’re done recording here, we’ll definitely talk about that. Sounds good. All right. Thanks again. Thank you.

Scott DeLuzio:    40:15    Thanks for listening to the Drive On Podcast. If you want to check out more episodes or learn more about the show, you can visit our website, DriveOnPodcast.com we’re on Facebook, Twitter, and Instagram at DriveOnPodcast.

]]> 00:40:35 <![CDATA[Memorial Day]]> Tue, 19 May 2020 01:00:00 +0000 Scott DeLuzio https://drive-on-podcast.castos.com/podcasts/2296/episodes/memorial-day This episode is all about Memorial Day. What it is, and maybe more importantly what it isn’t.

  • History of Memorial Day
  • Modern day celebrations
  • Why we celebrate Memorial Day
  • Who isn’t being celebrated on Memorial Day
  • …and more
Transcript Expand This coming weekend is Memorial Day weekend. The unofficial start of the summer. It’s when many Americans typically get together for a barbeque, grill some hamburgers and hot dogs, drink beer, head to the beach, or attend a parade. Although this year many of those things may be put on hold due to lockdowns that are happening throughout the country. Typically though, we do these things to celebrate the start of the summer, but we very rarely take a minute to think about what the holiday weekend is really all about. In this episode I’m talking about Memorial Day. What it is, what it isn’t, why we celebrate this day each year, and why this day has particular importance to me. Originally, Memorial Day was known as Decoration Day. It began in the years following the Civil War but didn’t become an official federal holiday until 1971. In the late 1860’s Americans in towns across the country started holding tributes to all of the fallen soldiers from the Civil War. They would visit cemeteries, decorate the graves with flowers, and pray. In 1868, General John Logan, who was the leader of an organization for Northern Civil War veterans, said that there should be a nationwide day of remembrance on May 30th. The purpose of that day was to decorate the graves of the soldiers who died in the Civil War, which at that time nearly every city and village across the country had some of those soldiers buried in their cemeteries. This is where the name Decoration Day came from. By 1890 each state in the North had declared Decoration Day an official state holiday. Southern states also honored their war dead, but they did it on separate days until sometime after World War 1. Although some southern states still celebrate Confederate Memorial Day in late April and early May. Decoration Day was designed to only honor those who died in the Civil War. As World War 1 started, Decoration Day gradually started to be known as Memorial Day. The holiday evolved to honor all American military personnel who died in all of our country’s wars. Memorial Day continued to be observed on May 30th, but eventually Congress passed the Uniform Monday Holiday Act, which allowed for federal employees to get a 3 day weekend. Memorial Day would then be celebrated on the last Monday in May. As I mentioned earlier, Memorial Day is celebrated with parades, parties, barbeques, and long weekend getaways. Americans also visit cemeteries and war memorials to honor and remember those who fought and died for their country. That last part. Those who fought and died for their country is particularly important. Memorial Day is to honor those who died for their country. There are a few military holidays throughout the year, which honor different groups of people connected to the military, and I don’t know if it’s patriotism or confusion, or whatever but people have a tendency to thank veterans on all of these military holidays. In particular I’m talking about two holidays. Veteran’s Day, and Memorial Day.
  • Veteran’s Day is celebrated on November 11th each year. This is a day to thank military veterans for their service.
  • Memorial Day as I mentioned earlier is celebrated on the last Monday in May. This is the day to remember those who died serving their country.
And as a veteran, I am often times thanked for my service. A lot of veterans are uncomfortable with that sort of thanks. It sometimes feels forced, as if someone feels like they have to say something but just don’t know what to say. But it’s still appreciated. I mean look back 50 plus years ago when the Vietnam veterans were ret...]]> full 51 false This episode is all about Memorial Day. What it is, and maybe more importantly what it isn’t.

  • History of Memorial Day
  • Modern day celebrations
  • Why we celebrate Memorial Day
  • Who isn’t being celebrated on Memorial Day
  • …and more
Transcript Expand This coming weekend is Memorial Day weekend. The unofficial start of the summer. It’s when many Americans typically get together for a barbeque, grill some hamburgers and hot dogs, drink beer, head to the beach, or attend a parade. Although this year many of those things may be put on hold due to lockdowns that are happening throughout the country. Typically though, we do these things to celebrate the start of the summer, but we very rarely take a minute to think about what the holiday weekend is really all about. In this episode I’m talking about Memorial Day. What it is, what it isn’t, why we celebrate this day each year, and why this day has particular importance to me. Originally, Memorial Day was known as Decoration Day. It began in the years following the Civil War but didn’t become an official federal holiday until 1971. In the late 1860’s Americans in towns across the country started holding tributes to all of the fallen soldiers from the Civil War. They would visit cemeteries, decorate the graves with flowers, and pray. In 1868, General John Logan, who was the leader of an organization for Northern Civil War veterans, said that there should be a nationwide day of remembrance on May 30th. The purpose of that day was to decorate the graves of the soldiers who died in the Civil War, which at that time nearly every city and village across the country had some of those soldiers buried in their cemeteries. This is where the name Decoration Day came from. By 1890 each state in the North had declared Decoration Day an official state holiday. Southern states also honored their war dead, but they did it on separate days until sometime after World War 1. Although some southern states still celebrate Confederate Memorial Day in late April and early May. Decoration Day was designed to only honor those who died in the Civil War. As World War 1 started, Decoration Day gradually started to be known as Memorial Day. The holiday evolved to honor all American military personnel who died in all of our country’s wars. Memorial Day continued to be observed on May 30th, but eventually Congress passed the Uniform Monday Holiday Act, which allowed for federal employees to get a 3 day weekend. Memorial Day would then be celebrated on the last Monday in May. As I mentioned earlier, Memorial Day is celebrated with parades, parties, barbeques, and long weekend getaways. Americans also visit cemeteries and war memorials to honor and remember those who fought and died for their country. That last part. Those who fought and died for their country is particularly important. Memorial Day is to honor those who died for their country. There are a few military holidays throughout the year, which honor different groups of people connected to the military, and I don’t know if it’s patriotism or confusion, or whatever but people have a tendency to thank veterans on all of these military holidays. In particular I’m talking about two holidays. Veteran’s Day, and Memorial Day.
  • Veteran’s Day is celebrated on November 11th each year. This is a day to thank military veterans for their service.
  • Memorial Day as I mentioned earlier is celebrated on the last Monday in May. This is the day to remember those who died serving their country.
And as a veteran, I am often times thanked for my service. A lot of veterans are uncomfortable with that sort of thanks. It sometimes feels forced, as if someone feels like they have to say something but just don’t know what to say. But it’s still appreciated. I mean look back 50 plus years ago when the Vietnam veterans were returning home. They were spit on, shunned, and made to feel like they were terrible people. Baby killers and all that. I certainly prefer the thanks over the complete disrespect. But I also think that the thanks needs to take a pause for one day out of the year. On Memorial Day, we aren’t celebrating our living veterans. We’re celebrating the over 1 million US service members who have been killed in action since the first shots were fired at Lexington. Sometimes I hear people say that every day should be Veterans Day. I think they do that to express that they always want to honor veterans. It’s another one of those overly patriotic moments. And I get that to an extent. They’re grateful, and want to express it. But if every day is Veterans Day, then Veteran’s Day isn’t really all that special. It becomes just another day. And if other days like Memorial Day are grouped together with Veterans Day, then Memorial Day also loses its significance, which I think would be a tragedy. Many veterans were there when some of these warriors were killed. Memorial Day is a day of reflection for these veterans. To remember their friends who were lost defending our country and our way of life. I can’t speak for all veterans, but I know for me, I don’t want to be thanked for my service on Memorial Day. Save it for Tuesday. Better yet, save it for Veterans Day. It actually hurts to be thanked for my service on Memorial Day. To me, it’s taking attention away from the people who we should be honoring that day. By honoring me and other veterans who are still alive, we’re taking time away from honoring people like my brother, Steven DeLuzio who was killed in Afghanistan in 2010. Or Tristan Southworth who died alongside my brother. Maybe people want to thank the living veterans instead of honoring the dead, because they can’t say it to their face. To get a smile, or a reaction of some sort. Almost as if honoring the dead doesn’t really make a difference. But it does make a difference. When you volunteer to join the military, especially during a time of war, you know that there is a possibility that you won’t make it home. It helps, even just a little bit, knowing that the sacrifice you’re willing to make won’t be forgotten. I also hear people saying “Happy Memorial Day” as if it is some sort of joyful occasion. That and the Memorial Day sales for cars, and everything else. It isn’t meant to be a joyous occasion. It’s meant to be a more solemn occasion I think. In recent years though, we’ve experienced all sorts of tragedies. The news makes us painfully aware that these things are happening all around us. Bombings, shootings, global viruses, murder hornets. I mean, these are just things that have happened in recent years. But think about all of the death, destruction, chaos that has gone on around the world and sometimes in our own backyards just during your own lifetime. You probably can’t name all of the tragedies that happened during your lifetime without resorting to a Google search. Sure you can remember 9/11, Oklahoma City bombing, things like that. I’m just as guilty. But you probably don’t remember all of the tragic events. It’s probably a defense mechanism that we’ve created for ourselves. We don’t want to think about these bad things. We want to pretend that they don’t happen. Or at least won’t happen to us. That they happen to quote unquote other people. Just like on Memorial Day. We don’t want to think about the price that these service members paid. The cost to their families, friends, and communities. For some of us it’s too much to handle. It’s much easier to enjoy the sunshine on the beach with some friends, and say Happy Memorial Day. This August will mark the 10th anniversary of my brother’s passing. I, like many Americans, grew up going to parades, heck I even marched in them with my little league team, going to family parties, and enjoying the day off from school. I always knew what the holiday meant, but I never really thought too much about it. I enjoyed the celebration and had fun. It never was something that would affect me personally, right? It wasn’t until my brother was killed on August 22, 2010 that I became those “other people”. Suddenly, this was something that does affect me and my family. I have a picture of him and I on my desk. I’m looking at it right now. It’s from my wedding about two years before he was killed, almost exactly to the day. The day of his funeral was actually on my 2nd wedding anniversary. I’m conflicted though. On one hand I want Memorial Day to be a solemn occasion. I want people to pause and give thanks to the people who gave their lives defending our country. Is one day out of your year too much to ask for? Actually, in 2000, Congress passed legislation that encourages all Americans to pause for a National Moment of Remembrance at 3PM local time on Memorial Day. If you fly an American flag, it should be flown at half-staff until noon on Memorial Day then raised to full-staff. Are those things enough? I don’t know. If everyone actually paused and thought about those who gave their lives, maybe it would be. But how many people actually know about these acts? How many people are still sober enough to remember by 3 in the afternoon is an even better question. On the other hand, I don’t think for a second that those who died would want us to mope around all day feeling sad that they’re not there to celebrate with us. I’m pretty sure they’d want us to enjoy the freedoms we have. So I’m conflicted. Maybe there’s a happy medium where we can pause for a few moments, think about the people who made all of this freedom possible, then carry on and enjoy the day. That’s a huge shift in my mindset from just a few years ago. I was borderline enraged when I heard the word “Happy” associated with Memorial Day. There was nothing happy about it for me. Actually, for a while I was living as if every day was Memorial Day. Constantly. But like I said about Veterans Day it loses its meaning if every day was treated like Veterans Day, Memorial Day was running the risk of losing its meaning to me too. So, I don’t dwell on the past 365 days of the year anymore. On Memorial Day, I take time to pay respect to those who lost their lives. Then I gather with family and friends to enjoy each other’s company. This year I was supposed to travel back to Connecticut for Memorial Day. Covid had other plans for us so we had to reschedule. But we were going to host a celebration of the 10 year anniversary of my brother’s death. The idea was to have family and friends come together, eat, drink, tell stories, and enjoy each other’s company. Maybe that’s the happy medium. We can still celebrate. Eat, drink, be together. But we can also take time to remember the sacrifice. Hopefully I’ve accomplished my mission of telling you what Memorial Day is all about. Thanks for listening. ]]> 00:16:11 <![CDATA[Perfectly Hidden Depression]]> Tue, 12 May 2020 01:00:00 +0000 Scott DeLuzio https://drive-on-podcast.castos.com/podcasts/2296/episodes/perfectly-hidden-depression In this episode, I talk to Dr. Margaret Rutherford, the author of the book Perfectly Hidden Depression. We talk about the book, seeking mental health treatment, and a lot more.

Links & Resources

Transcript Expand

Scott DeLuzio    00:03    Thanks for tuning in to the Drive On Podcast where we talk about issues affecting veterans after they get out of the military. Before we get started, I would like to ask a favor if you have not done so already, please rate and review the show on Apple podcast. If you have already done that. Thank you. These ratings help the show get discovered so it can reach a wider audience. And while you are there, click the subscribe button so that you get notified of new episodes as soon as they come out. If you do not use Apple podcasts, you can visit Drive On Podcast.com/subscribe to find other ways of subscribing, including our email lists. I am your host Scott DeLuzio. And now let’s get on with the show.

Scott DeLuzio:    00:46    Hey everyone. Today my guest is Dr. Margaret Rutherford, who is a psychologist, the host of the self-work podcast and the author of the book perfectly hidden depression. I am certain I am missing a few accolades, so, Dr. Rutherford, welcome to the show.  Why don’t you tell us a little bit more about yourself, your background, and what you do?

Dr. Margaret Rutherford:    01:08    Sure. Thanks Scott so much. Oh, there are so many accolades. I can barely, you know, I have paparazzi standing outside the window. Well I have a bit of an interesting route to be a psychologist if you would like to hear that. I was a professional singer in my twenties. I sang jazz and jingles. I think jazz at night, and then I sang, radio and television advertisements. And so, I did that for eight or nine years. I was not doing well with the lifestyle. Music’s a hard business to be in and it’s pretty cutthroat and there is the longest contract sometimes is a month in a hotel and you are supposed to be glad you got that. So, I was not doing very well.  I heard about this thing called music therapy and I took all the money I had in the world and put it down at SMU in Dallas and began that career.

Dr. Margaret Rutherford:    02:04    And as soon as I finished up my training, I was at an internship site and it was at a psych hospital. And I said, Oh no, this is what I want to do. And I had been in therapy for a long time and it had really helped me. And so, I turned the boat around. And so, it was about nine years before I was at the Fairmont closing the bar there, with my singing and seeing my first patient. So, it took almost a decade to do that, but...

]]> full 50 false In this episode, I talk to Dr. Margaret Rutherford, the author of the book Perfectly Hidden Depression. We talk about the book, seeking mental health treatment, and a lot more.

Links & Resources

Transcript Expand

Scott DeLuzio    00:03    Thanks for tuning in to the Drive On Podcast where we talk about issues affecting veterans after they get out of the military. Before we get started, I would like to ask a favor if you have not done so already, please rate and review the show on Apple podcast. If you have already done that. Thank you. These ratings help the show get discovered so it can reach a wider audience. And while you are there, click the subscribe button so that you get notified of new episodes as soon as they come out. If you do not use Apple podcasts, you can visit Drive On Podcast.com/subscribe to find other ways of subscribing, including our email lists. I am your host Scott DeLuzio. And now let’s get on with the show.

Scott DeLuzio:    00:46    Hey everyone. Today my guest is Dr. Margaret Rutherford, who is a psychologist, the host of the self-work podcast and the author of the book perfectly hidden depression. I am certain I am missing a few accolades, so, Dr. Rutherford, welcome to the show.  Why don’t you tell us a little bit more about yourself, your background, and what you do?

Dr. Margaret Rutherford:    01:08    Sure. Thanks Scott so much. Oh, there are so many accolades. I can barely, you know, I have paparazzi standing outside the window. Well I have a bit of an interesting route to be a psychologist if you would like to hear that. I was a professional singer in my twenties. I sang jazz and jingles. I think jazz at night, and then I sang, radio and television advertisements. And so, I did that for eight or nine years. I was not doing well with the lifestyle. Music’s a hard business to be in and it’s pretty cutthroat and there is the longest contract sometimes is a month in a hotel and you are supposed to be glad you got that. So, I was not doing very well.  I heard about this thing called music therapy and I took all the money I had in the world and put it down at SMU in Dallas and began that career.

Dr. Margaret Rutherford:    02:04    And as soon as I finished up my training, I was at an internship site and it was at a psych hospital. And I said, Oh no, this is what I want to do. And I had been in therapy for a long time and it had really helped me. And so, I turned the boat around. And so, it was about nine years before I was at the Fairmont closing the bar there, with my singing and seeing my first patient. So, it took almost a decade to do that, but it was well worth the effort. I loved being a musician, but really, being a therapist is my passion.

Scott DeLuzio:    02:39    Well, that is great. And I always like to hear people’s background stories, like how they get to where they are because it is never a straight path. It’s never that, I went to college and I knew exactly what I wanted to do and I got my degree in that and I wound up doing that thing for the next 30 something years or whatever.

Dr. Margaret Rutherford:    02:58    There are those people, but many more now are just going from thing to thing. And I am certainly a good example of that. Sure, absolutely.

Scott DeLuzio: Yeah. And it is interesting to hear the different paths that people take.

Dr. Margaret Rutherford:    03:09    Yeah. The fun thing about doing the podcast was that I was in front of a microphone again, I was comfortable in front of a microphone, so that was funny.

Scott DeLuzio:    03:17    That’s true too. And it merges the two backgrounds. That is great.  I mentioned earlier that you wrote the book titled Perfectly Hidden Depression. That is not just a catchy title, although it certainly is that too. But it is something that people suffer from, isn’t it?

Dr. Margaret Rutherford:    03:39    Yes, it is. Scott, I started thinking about a lot of the people I was doing a blog post for my normal weekly website blog post. And I thought about some people that I had seen throughout the years that when they entered therapy, no one would have called them depressed. I really would not call them depressed. They came in usually for problems about worry or sleeplessness or fatigue or perhaps they had an eating disorder that was getting out of control or they were told at work they were overworked or something and they needed it. And they were, “I don’t think I am.” Or their pastor sent them, or their spouse said, “you need to go” because they had a loss that was acute and they did not grieve or they did not know how to grieve. And so, these people would come in and they would tell me about their lives.

Dr. Margaret Rutherford:    04:32    And what I would notice was that when I asked about any kind of trauma or experience of pain, they literally would smile their way through telling me about it. It was as if there was such a contrast between what they were talking about content wise. They could have been talking about a rape or they could have been talking about military service. Or they could have been talking about the death of a child even. And they just had these either stony faces or they were smiling going, “you know that I handled that. It wasn’t all that big a deal.” And so, because that would be weak and there are lots of people with problems worse than mine.

Dr. Margaret Rutherford:    05:24    And if I started crying, I would never stop. And so, I do not want to do that, those kinds of excuses. So, I was sitting in my sunroom thinking about those people and the term perfectly hidden depression came to my mind and I wrote a post called the perfectly hidden depressed person and it went viral. I was lucky at that point if 50 people read a post and here this went thousands of people shared it. And then I was writing for the Huffington post at the time and I forgot that I had left my email on the bottom of that. And the next day I received hundreds of emails saying this is me. I think you are inside my head. How have you figured this out? So, I began researching at that time and what exactly was available in the literature and in the research about this connection between perfectionism and depression.

Dr. Margaret Rutherford:    06:16    I found lots on depression and perfectionism. For example, Dr. Bernay Brown’s work is incredibly good and very helpful to many, many people, but I could not find except in some of the research but not in popular literature, something that said a perfect looking life can mask what’s going on underneath, which is actually full of emotional pain, memories of trauma that has all been so suppressed and really rigidly compartmentalize, where people don’t even know they’re doing that. Scott, they do not even know. This is not intentionally knowing you are depressed and putting a smile on your face. That is one thing that is called high functioning depression. This is people who have done this for so long that it has become unconscious. That what started out perhaps as a childhood strategy to emotionally survive situation that we were born into, which we can talk about later, but they do not even realize they are doing it. And so, what these people have told me is when they see the term perfectly hidden depression, they go, “Oh, that is me, I’ve got to read about that. I’ve got to find out about that” because that jars something in their gut that has been trying to talk to them for a long time now.

Scott DeLuzio:    07:44    So, we are on the topic of depression here, but I want to just make a quick maybe pit stop over in the land of anxiety; depression and anxiety are both common diagnosis in mental health. But I want to be clear to the audience here about the difference between the two. For anyone who might be listening, who might not know the difference between the two, would you be able to give a quick overview between the difference between depression and anxiety?

Dr. Margaret Rutherford:    08:16    Sure, of course.  I like to say to people that I have never seen anybody with severe anxiety that is not depressed about it. But I have seen people with depression who do not have a lot of the classic symptoms of anxiety and they have some but they do not have depression. Classic depression is mostly that you have a depressed mood, a down mood or despondent mood that not only you can see or other people see it in you and it goes on for a long period of time as well as the other criteria is you don’t enjoy doing what you used to enjoy doing. It is called anhedonia. Now there are other mental symptoms or cognitive symptoms of depression, more like problems with making decisions or having sort of a sense of fuzzy thinking like your mind is this swamp that you cannot get going.

Dr. Margaret Rutherford:    09:07    Certainly there are cognitive/mental symptoms of depression, but they do not necessarily look like anxiety. They can worry being one of them. But anxiety disorders are a whole different category. There are several of them. There’s obsessive compulsive disorder. There’s generalized anxiety disorder, which is literally having a sense of dread and hypervigilance that something horrible is about to happen. You could even visualize it, not the same as a flashback when something is really happened as in PTSD, but people with generalized anxiety disorder are plagued with these thoughts and obsessions about what can happen. Then there’s panic disorder, which is you can have panic attacks, you can have these shorter episodes of your heart racing and your Palm sweaty and you want to run out of the room. Those are panic attacks and there’s social anxiety. All of it is about anxiety disorder. The number one mental illness in the United States and in fact internationally there is more people with anxiety than depression. We do not necessarily think of anxious people having suicidal ideation, although they might, they might probably be more worried that someone else I love might die by suicide. Certainly, suicidal ideation is maybe the more severe symptom of depression. Now that does not mean you cannot have both. And in fact, people with bipolar two disorder often have, and people with PTSD often have symptoms of both anxiety and depression.

Scott DeLuzio:    10:47    Okay. Yeah, that is interesting. I did not realize that the two necessarily went hand in hand. So, they are not necessarily polar opposites. They could be in certain cases they could be part of the same symptoms that people are having. They could have both. Right?

Dr. Margaret Rutherford:    11:08   I had performance anxiety is a form of social anxiety. And so, sometimes when I get up to speak, my legs will shake, I’ve always wanted to see what I looked like because I’m sure I look ridiculous, but at least that’s what my shame is telling me. But for a while there in my lifetime I was depressed about having panic disorder because I was so ashamed of it. I am not now at all. But back then I was, and so there was depression mixed in with the anxiety.

Scott DeLuzio:    11:42    Interesting. Okay. Well that is good. And I think that that was a good explanation to clear up the difference between the two. And I think even though that is not necessarily what your book’s about or what we are necessarily talking about it, I think that is still a good general overview to have. So, people who are experiencing some of those symptoms and do not even realize it could fall back on some of that information. Speaking of your book, let us get back to that and talk a little bit about that. In your book you talk about the difference between being a perfectionist and someone who strives for excellence.  That might sound like a subtle difference between the two of those being a perfectionist and striving for excellence. But there is a difference in there, isn’t there?

Dr. Margaret Rutherford:    12:30    As far as what a perfectly hidden depression is concerned, there is a huge difference. Striving for excellence means that there is a learning curve and you are just trying to do the best you can do. And maybe you even want to do flawlessly. I mean, maybe you have this innate desire to really be the best you can be all the time and that can have pressure in it. But then if you typically fail or you do not do as well as you possibly can, your world does not fall apart. You are disappointed. You may have to grieve, but you can say, “well what did I learn during that?” And next time I will strive for excellence again. People, I do not want to say who have perfectly hidden depression, because that makes it sound like a diagnosis.

Dr. Margaret Rutherford:    13:21    It is not, it is a syndrome of behaviors that are found together. Beliefs and behaviors are found together. It is called a syndrome.  From my perspective, these folks are driven by fear and shame that if they do not do things perfectly, if they do not perfectly meet the expectations of both themselves and especially others, that they cannot tolerate that. That is something they will stay up 48 hours to make sure that does not happen. They are not process oriented; they are goal oriented. And so these are people who literally are completely pressured and because, again, I think it’s born from what they’re told as children, that they’re never going to amount to anything or they’re told that or they review themselves, and they say, “I’ve got to find my competence in what I do.” All the people with a perfectly hidden depression are credibly accomplishment oriented. Meaning if I am not accomplishing, I am not valuable. And that is a shame. You can hear that that’s shame based.

Scott DeLuzio:    14:33    Right. So, it is the difference between somebody who is starting something new, maybe they are trying to learn a new skill or start a new job or something like that. And, maybe it doesn’t quite go as well as they planned and someone who is striving for excellence, might have a more realistic expectation of themselves and knowing that this might take some time to learn as opposed to the perfectionist who, if they don’t get it right away, then they might feel like they are a failure or they they’re letting someone down. That type of thing. Is that correct?

Dr. Margaret Rutherford:    15:13    Yeah, that is a great way of putting it. In fact, I wish I had thought of that, thank you very much. Thank you.  I do not want to get too clinical on your listeners, but there are three different types of perfectionism. One is self-oriented meaning more striving for excellence. One is other oriented where you expect other people to be perfect around you. And the other one is called socially prescribed perfectionism, which is about this pressure to meet these expectations for others. And it is as if you are on a treadmill that is going faster and faster and faster and faster. Because how many times have these people heard from someone, “we cannot believe that you raise that much money for this organization. We can’t wait for you to share this next year it’ll be even better.” Or you are at work and you

Dr. Margaret Rutherford:    16:05    get something done two days ahead of time and your supervisor says, “wow, we’re not going to give you that much time again.” It is like you get caught in this trap of I am not just expected to do well, I am expected always to do better than my best was the last time.  And you buy into that. You do not say, “Hey, no, that’s not quite what happened.” You buy into that where someone was self-oriented perfectionism might say, “well that really is kind of my max. You know, what I was able to give on this project was my max and so we need to negotiate.” If you are going to expect more and someone who fit into the rubric of perfectly hidden depression would not say that until they read my book. Of course.

Scott DeLuzio:    16:51    And that is a good distinction to make. Knowing that the differences between how people might react to situations like that where they are under promise and over deliver, in a work setting, for example. And then that just becomes expected as the baseline, whatever was delivered and then can you do a little bit better and then the next time can you do a little bit better and a little bit better, and then, like you said, it’s like a treadmill that just continuously gets faster and faster and faster.

Dr. Margaret Rutherford:    17:25    Well, and you see, since it’s based on fear and shame, it’s as if they absorbed the sense of, if I get told that it could be better than I must meet that expectation because then I wouldn’t be being perfect. It’s interesting to me as I’ve talked with more and more people doing these interviews and people have written to me, they’d say things like, “I never thought of myself as perfect as a perfectionist because I never do anything perfectly.” Meaning they thought, I think there are people out there who really do things perfectly and they do not, none of us do things perfectly.

Scott DeLuzio:    18:04    They get lucky once or twice, but yeah.

Dr. Margaret Rutherford:    18:06    But you know, even then, there is still someone else’s perception of what perfect is. And so, I cannot control what someone thinks about this podcast or what I might say to them in session or whatever. I am not in control of that. But people who identify with perfectly hidden depression, they do not even give themselves credit for what they do. Well, they have just got to keep proving themselves over and over and over.

Scott DeLuzio:    18:42    Switching gears just a little bit here, a lot of times, especially with people who have been in the military, we tend to detach from our emotions. I have seen it both ways where everything bothers people or the opposite where nothing bothers them. Almost like they completely shut off all emotions, and you talk a bit about the latter in your book where people are detached from their emotions. What causes that type of behavior?

Dr. Margaret Rutherford:    19:16    Well, again as you and I talked about it, you were kind enough to invite me on this podcast.  I don’t work with veterans very much. I have worked with a handful of them and so I am not as aware as maybe other people are of the exact why’s of that. But certainly, the trauma literature will tell you that someone’s response to trauma is based mostly on two factors, the intensity of the trauma and then whether they have had mental health issues in the past. I know I’m very well aware that I had worked with first responders and so, I’m very well aware that their training is, and I’m sure it’s the same in the military, are relatively sure that the training is, you run toward the emergency situation, you don’t run away from it.

Dr. Margaret Rutherford:    20:08    And so, you must detach from your emotions. However, it is interesting that in Dr. Bernay Brown’s workshop that she has a Netflix show. One of her tenants is that in order to get to courage, you must go through vulnerability. And there was a guy who stood up who had done three rounds of service in Afghanistan and he still had his uniform on and he stood up and he said, you know, you are right. He goes, “people don’t want to admit that. But every time I went back into the service and did another Afghanistan tour, I had to work through my vulnerability and my fear all over again, to handle it at all well.”  I think what makes people early on, if it is not about training, you detach from your emotions because of many things.

Dr. Margaret Rutherford:    21:09    Maybe you were reared in a family where it was not allowed. I can remember my uncle who was a West point graduate, none of his children, my cousins were not allowed to speak in anger or in sadness. It just was not done around his house. And whereas, my parents did not advocate for it necessarily, but if it happened it was more acceptable. And so, a lot of people grow up in families where there’s military families are buck up or whatever, that’s not manly or only babies cry. How many times have I heard that? So, there could be that it could be that you were abused, as I said a few minutes ago, that you were told you would never amount to anything. And so, you have to shut off those feelings of being hurt as a child and come up with some kind of strategy to deal with it that a lot of people decide to be very accomplished at school.

Dr. Margaret Rutherford:    22:03    Something else is a more unusual situation perhaps, but perhaps you have a parent that really counts on you for his or her happiness. And so, they say, gosh, “I get so proud of you when you do X, Y, or Z.”  And so, whether you like it or not, you do X, Y, and Z. So you get into this way of being that my way of getting love or feeling loved is by not tuning into who I am, but tuning into who somebody else needs me to be and then I become that person and being a people pleaser. And so, you do not really know why you are doing what you are doing. You are just doing it to feel valuable.

Scott DeLuzio:    22:44    Yeah. And is that to make yourself feel happy that you are making other people happy? Does that make sense? Is that one of the reasons why someone might do something like that?

Dr. Margaret Rutherford:    22:56    It becomes your job, not necessarily one that she asks you or that you ever applied for, especially if you’re a child, but you could feel…I’ve had people say to me, my mother or my dad used to say, I don’t know what I’d do without you. And not mean it like in an offhand, I love you so much, but literally I need you to be who you all are because I wouldn’t be able to exist if you weren’t this way. There’s a story in the book about a woman who just became a, I think it was a dentist, she didn’t like dentistry, but her dad expected her to be a dentist and her mother had died or something. And so, she just went to do that. And so, some of that is family loyalty and some of that is you do not always get to do what you want to do. I understand all that. At the same time when you completely cut yourself off from “my life is fine, I don’t have any feelings that I need to explore,” then there is something wrong.

Scott DeLuzio:    24:00    That’s interesting. And there is probably way more to it than just a simple one sentence kind of answer, in terms of why people detach from those emotions as you mentioned, there are lots of different reasons.

Dr. Margaret Rutherford:    24:20    Trauma is a huge one. I’m sure people in the military know, you get traumatized and one of the hard things about being a therapist is that you do hear a lot of stories that you have to shake your head and you get it. I cannot believe that really happened, but it does. And it does not just happen because of poverty. It does not just happen because of where you live or anything about you. It happens all over the board. And it can hurt so much that you must suppress or compartmentalize those feelings and some people never get back to connecting.

Scott DeLuzio:    24:59    All right. We spoke a little bit before we started recording here about removing the stigma of getting treatment, the mental health treatment that people might need. They tend to put it off or they just do not go and seek that help because there is a stigma. They do not want to be seen as someone who might be crazy or who is weak or any number of other excuses or reasons. Going into your book, someone who has perfectly hidden depression might see themselves as being selfish for taking care of their mental health, certainly going to therapy or getting treatment, that type of thing and really it couldn’t be further from the truth that they’re selfish or anything like that.

Scott DeLuzio:    25:56    And then that stigma against seeking help just compounds that issue.  A lot of it boils down to just being vulnerable and opening up and the ability to open up. It is something that scares us. So, why is it that becoming vulnerable is such a big issue to people who might have a perfectly hidden depression and the feeling of being selfish that they are getting the help that they need?

Dr. Margaret Rutherford:    26:35    Well, you just said a phrase; it so important. They are getting the help that they need when they must. They will have to be someone who knows how to accept help and they must believe they need it. Okay, so basically, I did a study; this was before I ever started writing a book. I just had my highly successful blogger friends put a questionnaire on their blog post and their website, which was very helpful. I got about 1500 answers from men and 1500 from women about the reasons why they would not go to therapy. And guess what? There are no huge surprising results. Men did not go because they thought they should solve their own problems and women did not go because they did not want anybody to know that they were going to therapy. So, one was ego-based and one was socially based.

Dr. Margaret Rutherford:    27:20     But let me correct a huge assumption that is incorrect and that is therapy is only about asking for help.  Good therapy is about consulting with someone who is consulted with a whole lot of people just like you. Hundreds, if not thousands of people and they have some ideas about how you can think about something or what you can do about it or how other people have felt about it, how other people have worked around an issue or through an issue. And so, therapists are a conduit between the people before you that have had a similar, if not the same problem and your current situation. So, now there is strength and power to the therapeutic relationship because literally there are some people who have never had the experience of sitting in the room with someone and really being listened to, really being listened to.

Dr. Margaret Rutherford:    28:31    And yes, you can feel vulnerable, you could feel like, “Oh wait, this person really wants to see all of me.” And so that is what takes courage.  I always know I have someone in front of me who struggles with this because they will say things like, I bet the other people you see are so much worse off than I am. Or I do not know why I am here. This seems silly. Or the only reason I am here is because my wife told me I needed to be here and I am only going to come for one session. I have got to go. Okay. All right. Vulnerability in and of itself is not always about sudden exposure. It is about letting someone in to see what you struggle with, what you think about.

Dr. Margaret Rutherford:    29:24    And a therapist does not come and just rip something off you. That is not good therapy. You said something about, is it selfish?  You are talking about you. You’re right but I would counter that if you’re a happier person, a more fulfilled person, if you figure some things out about your own life and what makes you tick, then you’re going to be a better father. You are going to be a better mother. You are going to be a better parent. You are going to be a better friend. You are going to be a better colleague at work.  So, you are not just helping yourself. You are helping a lot of people that you love in your world. I have been gratified. I do a podcast as well and a lot of people have said to me, because I say at the beginning of the podcast, I’m reaching out to three people, three kinds of people, the people that are already familiar with these kinds of ideas.

Dr. Margaret Rutherford:    30:26    I am reaching out to people who have been initially diagnosed with these kinds of ideas and have lots of questions. And I am reaching out to the people who think they would never walk through the door of a therapist, but they are simply curious enough to see what it feels like. I have heard from so many people that say, I am in that third group, and until I listened to your podcast, I did not realize that therapists can be only normal people. I talk about my panic disorder. I talk about my history with anorexia. I talked about my divorces. It is not like we have some sort of weird place with candles and incense and hold your hand and say you are going to be okay. We have techniques that we have been trained in and gotten a lot of training in that really can be helpful to people.

Scott DeLuzio:    31:19    I think a good visualization that, it is not like some crazy incense magic thing that you are going to be walking into. It is not like anything like that. It’s just you’re walking into a room and you’re going to sit down and you’re going to talk to another person for whatever period of time that you’re sitting there and you’re just having a conversation the way you and I are having a conversation right now.

Dr. Margaret Rutherford:    31:45    At the holidays, people know, because I always have a big glass of Sonic iced tea sitting in front of me that I sip on all day long. I get extra Sonic ice because Sonic ice is to die for. Right? And so, I get extra Sonic ice. And I sip on it until it is not tea anymore. It is just water. I have had so many people come in and say, we love it and you just drink Sonic tea. You do not like to have herbal tea or sometimes you do not walk in in flowing clothes, you cuss, you laugh like I do. I am a therapist, I do not kind of take on this aura of soothsayer.

Scott DeLuzio:    32:25    So, you’re walking in, you’re talking to a regular person and I’ve had other mental health professionals on the show before and one of the things that we’ve talked about is that, you might go and start talking to somebody, a therapist and the first session maybe doesn’t go so well. You’re not comfortable with it yet, and the second session, maybe you open up a little bit more, third maybe, and then it might take three, four sessions before you start to get a little bit more comfortable with going to therapy. But if you just go to the one session and then call it quits because you were not comfortable with it, you are not really giving it a chance.  I think it is important that people do stick it out but also recognize that, like any other human interactions, not everybody is going to be the right fit for you. They are not all going to be your cup of tea. You might go in and after four or five sessions, you might just say, you know what, this person is just not clicking with me. They maybe are not understanding the issues.

Dr. Margaret Rutherford:    33:39     I would say, Scott, that a distinction to make is that if you are struggling to open up and be comfortable, that is one thing. If you don’t even feel like your therapist is tuned into you or that they’re asking you questions that at least make you think or give you some hope or say, Oh, I think she gives me a sense of confidence. There are plenty of therapists who get into therapy because it is just, they are drawn to the profession. They want to help people, but they do not really know how to connect well with others. They are just like doctors or lawyers or anybody. So, since we are in a profession where we deal with, as you said before, vulnerability, then that can make it a little hard. But I’m so with you about don’t just decide you don’t like it, but if you don’t like it, if you walk away from the first session thinking, well, that was uncomfortable, then I would go back to the second session and say, I was really uncomfortable in the first session. I would take a very proactive approach to it. And you can say, I do not know if that is me or if there is something that could be headed in a different direction this session? And let me see, it might be me, but it also might be that I am not responding to the way you are approaching this.

Scott DeLuzio:    35:04    It is kind of funny last night I found out my wife had never watched the show the Sopranos.

Dr. Margaret Rutherford:  I have not either.

Scott DeLuzio:  So, this might be lost on you, but anyone who might be listening

Dr. Margaret Rutherford:   There is a therapist, there is definitely a therapist.

Scott DeLuzio:  And in the very first episode that the initial pilot episode, this tough guy, mobster guy, walks in to the therapist office and he’s shut off, he’s not having anything to do with this and he doesn’t want to do it, but he goes back a couple times throughout the episode but by the end he’s in tears and he’s crying and it’s over. It is over. These ducks that used to live in his swimming pool in his backyard. And then they flew away and he felt like he was losing his family of ducks that flew away. And ducks, you know, exactly. They kept digging and they found out what the root cause of all of this was. And you know, he was all afraid that everyone is going to find out that he is going to therapy, they are going to think I am nuts and all this kind of stuff. But he went and it ended up helping him. And so, if some tough mobster can get some benefit out of it, I think we all can.

Dr. Margaret Rutherford:    36:25    That’s funny. There was a guy that I treated a couple of two years ago who had identified Berkeley Hayden depression. He was a highly successful professional here in Northwest Arkansas. I did not know that he was famous, but he was famous. I did not know that. He really wanted to work on this sense of perfectionism and this persona that he gives out to everybody that he’s got it all together and how I can begin to loosen up and have more true enjoyment and fulfillment and freedom and self-awareness and self-acceptance and blah, blah, blah. So anyway, I had given him this assignment, he had had a parent die. He was an adult and he had not gotten to say to this parent what he wished he had. And then the parent died.

Dr. Margaret Rutherford:    37:15    He’d never let himself feel about it. And so, I asked him to write about it and what he wished he had said and what he wished he had heard his parents say. And he was doing this exercise in his first-class seat on the plane. And he said, not only was it absolutely incredible that I was allowing myself to cry on the plane, but I had your book open and people could see if they wanted to that I was reading a book on depression. He said that was two minor miracles all the second time. He said, I did not cry a lot. I let one tear slip down my cheek, but he was just kind of going, wow. You know, and so you are right, people can make, uh, I had all kinds of people. I have had people who work on oil rigs, I have had people who were first responders, I have had farmers, I have had everybody in the book, as a therapist.  I love being a therapist in Arkansas because you cannot get such a, such a wide array of patients. So, we are getting a little away from perfectly hidden depression.

Scott DeLuzio:    38:24    That’s okay. Yeah, it is a good to see that there are people from all walks of life that can struggle with this type of stuff. And you know, the people who might be listening to this, you know, if you are feeling like, gee, that might be me. You know, you are not alone. You are in good company of people who work on oil rigs and farmers and first responders and probably everything in between, every profession in between. There are those people. So, going back to the book, you talk about, five steps to healing that you talk about. Can we dig a little bit into what those steps are and how that relates?

Dr. Margaret Rutherford:    39:09    Well, I must tell you a funny story again. The publisher who ended up buying the book contacted me about two weeks before my final book proposal was supposed to go again to them and they would decide. I said, well, we have decided you cannot just describe the problem. You must come up with a treatment strategy for it and you have two weeks. I thought, Oh gosh, that is like more than half the book in two weeks. Okay. So, I had thought about doing that, but not in such a formal form. So, I sat down, Scott and I just said, okay, what are the five things I really do with everybody? Five stages of what I think must happen for someone to decide they want to change in a certain direction. Okay. Because therapy is about change, right?

Dr. Margaret Rutherford:    40:02    First thing they must do is recognize a problem as a problem. You know, if you have bipolar disorder or you have depression or you have perfectionism or you have shame or you have whatever, if you don’t think it’s a problem and are aware of the impact it is beginning to have on your life, then you won’t do anything about it. So, consciousness is the first stage. You must be conscious of something that can take some mindfulness and awareness. The second thing is commitment. There are all kinds of things that get in the way of committing and to the work itself. That can be anything from, well, I do not know what that is going to do to my work life or how will that change my relationship? Or perfectionist will sometimes say, well, I try your exercise and it was too hard.

Dr. Margaret Rutherford:    40:57    And I said, well, what was the exercise you tried? Well, you told me to pick something small and then do it in an inferior manner, which is something hard to tell people to do. And I said, so what would you choose? Well, this work project I have, I tried to one day do it in an inferior fashion. I could not do it. I said, you chose something too big. You chose something too hard. Guess what? They are perfectionist. So, you can sabotage yourself, you can do all kinds of things that get in your way of really committing to the process. And frankly you can just be afraid. Familiar pain is so much easier to stick with something that is may me painful, but it is familiar then to trade that in for unfamiliar pain. The third is confrontation. And what I mean by this is a very cognitive, behavioral kind of schema.

Dr. Margaret Rutherford:    41:50    And cognitive behavioral folks believe that if you change what you think, you will change the way you feel. And so, there is a whole section of the book on what are the rules you are following? What are the should’s, must have to’s, cannot not do, whatever it is that is ruling your life and which one of those you actually think is helpful to you and what you want to keep. And that is valuable and which is not anymore. In fact, there are old rules that you have that you could have brought with you from childhood. I cannot voice my anger; I can never let anybody know that I am scared. I can never let anybody know that I am confused. There is one woman I worked with who said that she worked from home and she said in her conversations with her supervisors, she always had to have the answer to the question that they’re about to ask next.

Dr. Margaret Rutherford:    42:49    And she was always having to say she could not ever look confused or like she did not know. A lot of people have that. And then of course, the part of that is you want to challenge those rules and begin to change them. And that is where the issues come. But kind of fun. It is refreshing. At least the fourth one is connection. And what I mean by that, it is consciousness, commitment, confrontation, they are all C’s. That is marketable, right? And connection. And what connection is, is you must go back, you do not have to, you can choose to go back with compassion and that is very important. And look at your life like it is a timeline. And you go back and you say at age two, this happened at age three at age five, at age eight, age 11 at age 18 and age, whatever.

Dr. Margaret Rutherford:    43:37    And you do not go back to feel sorry for yourself. You go back to acknowledge huge differences. You want to go back and acknowledge this. If this happened to anybody, you would affect their lives. If you move to a new school, when you were in the third grade and you were bullied horribly, or you were elected school something or other, either one of those most popular kid or something, either one of those experiences would have changed. You would have altered you in some way. So, you want to go back and you want to have compassion for that and you want to see who you are likely to be in the present because of those things that have happened. And that is a whole chapter in and of itself. The last one is guess what, change. I mean, this whole thing is about change. And I go through all the 10 traits of perfectly hidden depression and we go through them all, for example, the one that we have already talked about where you get your sense of worth, real accomplishment. I talk about how you really start to change that is through play. How do you learn how to play again? Now maybe you do not know that kind of thing. So, each one of those traits has a direction that you want to change. You want to go toward.

Scott DeLuzio:    44:53    Okay, so we are talking about taking that step to go get help and get the treatment that you need.  These are some of the steps to healing that will get you to that place. Ideally if you go through those steps and you do not self-sabotage yourself, in trying to tackle a big project with like you were saying before, some smaller one, you can do it, too.

Scott DeLuzio:    45:25    Yeah. It could be two small words, insignificant, and it does not really matter that type of thing.

Dr. Margaret Rutherford:    45:33    I want to point out that the book is more like a workbook, although for some reason the publisher did not want to call it a workbook. It has over 60, very specifically designed by me, exercises to help you through this whole process with lots of understanding and recommendations that if it gets too hard, you may have to find a therapist to work with. If you have really been traumatized, which many people said, I am sad to say, have been, then going back and connecting with those emotions can be overwhelming and you do not want to get overwhelmed.

Scott DeLuzio:    46:06     And doing that on your own could be troublesome too if you are not being guided along with somebody who knows what they’re doing and what to look out for in that type of thing too. So, like I said, we went through, going in, taking that first step, and getting the help. There are the steps that you might need to go through. Let’s try to wrap up because I don’t want to take up all of your day here on this episode, but maybe try to wrap up with some healthy coping skills that people can use to deal with life as it comes at us. What are some of the things that people can do, as it relates to perfectly hidden depression? What are some of those kinds of coping skills that people could use?

Dr. Margaret Rutherford:    46:59    I talk a lot, Scott, about self-acceptors that may not seem like a coping skill, but like the soldier who got up and made a comment to Dr. Brown, I think that a lot of times when something’s coming at you, and it’s not something you expect, it’s not something you’ve planned for or even if it is sometimes; like we may know a tornado is coming, but it’s not until we hear it’s force that we can really understand what’s about to happen. But I think that an eco skill to have is to know what your strengths are, even to be able to write them down. And sadly, some people do not know what their strengths are and we all have strengths. So, you want to be able to identify what your strengths are.

Dr. Margaret Rutherford:    48:03    But then again, take note of what you know, your vulnerabilities are, the skill is involved in and it’s the self-acceptance is involved in not allowing either one to define who you are. One, does it define you more? I have a PhD after my name. I am proud of that. I worked hard for that, but that does not define me anymore than having panic disorder does, they are both facts about me. And if I am ashamed of the panic disorder, then I will either try to hide it or I will be defensive about it or I will deny it. If I accept it, I do not resign myself to it, but I accept it, then I can work with it and manage it. So, when you are facing stress, you want to manage those vulnerabilities while you count on your strengths.

Dr. Margaret Rutherford:    49:00    And people who can only see themselves with their strengths do not cut off, rigidly suppress anything that they might see as vulnerabilities. And then people who are stuck in their vulnerabilities are not saying, I do have some skills to handle this.  I do not have to cower in the room and be afraid of what is going to happen next. What’s the situation I faced when I was a child that I found my courage and how can I tap onto what that child knew or how can I tap onto the fact that I miscarried and I handled it or we all have things that have happened to us that are difficult and how did you handle that? Sometimes people think I just do not know what to do. And yet they really do know what to do. They can identify their strengths and if they accept their vulnerabilities, then they can manage those while they’re looking at the glass half full and realizing, I’ve got to stay more positive and know that I do have strengths to help me handle this.

Scott DeLuzio:    50:03    And any of the setbacks that we face in our lives, throughout our lives, even from very early childhood, they help us learn and learn how to react to those similar situations in the future. It may seem like a very small thing to adults who already know this, as a young child who puts their hand on a hot stove, they didn’t know prior to doing that, that’s going to hurt them, but they sure as heck know after they did it, but it’s going to hurt them. So, they will now go throughout the rest of their lives and not do that again because of that one experience that they had. That was a bad experience. But, you can also take that as you’re an adult, they’re bad things happen all the time to people and you have these experiences, good and bad experiences that you learned from; do more of the stuff that creates a good experience and do less of the stuff that creates a bad experience.

Scott DeLuzio:    51:05    And, you tend to learn and grow from that. So, if you are not willing to accept some of those things that have happened to you and your reactions to them and things like that, you are probably not going to grow very much. It is going to be harder.

Dr. Margaret Rutherford:    51:23    I had a lot of people who volunteered to be interviewed with perfectly hidden depression. I have between 50 and 60 interviews who were doing that anonymously. I did not know who they were. Everything from brain surgeons to a motivational speaker. All kinds of people came forward and

Dr. Margaret Rutherford:    51:49    most of them said things like, if I begin trying to disentangle my need to look perfect with this permission to accept vulnerability, then people will reject me because I’m seen as someone who always knows what to do. I am the person who makes the decisions quickly and efficiently. And I cannot give that out for me to look around and go, I do not really know what to do. It is just complete. I would lose all sense of respect and status of all my peers. Or if I said, I cannot take that on this year, I am just too busy, then, what does she mean? She is too busy? You know? So, you must sort of face this fear of what other people think about you and see you as more vulnerable than you really are. It is just you are setting boundaries; you are setting limits.

Scott DeLuzio:    52:48    So Dr. Rutherford, I wanted to thank you so much for taking the time to join us today and like I said, I probably could talk to you all day about this book and this topic. I would love to go deeper into the book on the podcast, but I also do not want to give it all away.  I want people to go out and buy the book and learn about it. If any of this stuff that we talked about seemed to resonate with anyone, go get the book. Like you said, it does read sort of like a workbook where there’s exercises and things like that that you can go through. I encourage you to go and seek help from a professional who can help them out.

Dr. Margaret Rutherford: It is available in e-book form as well as just a regular paperback and it is not expensive.

Scott DeLuzio:    53:44    Where can people go to find that book? I am sure it is on Amazon.

Dr. Margaret Rutherford:    53:48    Yeah. Amazon, Barnes and Noble. You can go to your book seller and they will be able to order it for you if they do not have it on their shelves but they will certainly get it forthwith, as I say.

Scott DeLuzio:    54:00    I am sure a lot of local, independent booksellers are probably hurting for business these days with everything going on. So, go out and try to support them once when things start opening back up.

Dr. Margaret Rutherford:  That’s right.

Scott DeLuzio: So, thank you again for your time. Where can people go to find out more about you and your work, your podcast, and things like that.

Dr. Margaret Rutherford:    54:22    The website is DrMargaretrutherford.com. The podcast again is the self-worth podcast and that is on Spotify, Iheart radio, Apple podcast, Stitcher, SoundCloud, anywhere you would want to listen to it.  I do have an Instagram account that I have a lot of fun with and anyway. I have an email ask Dr. Rutherford and Dr.MargaretRutherford.com.

Scott DeLuzio:    54:51    Wonderful. Definitely reach out to Dr. Rutherford with any questions that you might have; reach out to find out more about the book, or just go get the book and read it yourself and find out about it that way. So, thank you again for joining us on the show today.

Dr. Margaret Rutherford:    55:14    Oh, thank you. Thanks to your listeners, for those of you who have been in the military that we really appreciate what you have done for our country, so thank you.

Scott DeLuzio:    55:23    and we appreciate that. Thank you.

Scott DeLuzio    55:29    Thanks for listening to the DriveOnPodcast. If you want to check out more episodes or learn more about the show, you can visit our website, DriveOnPodcast.com we are on Facebook, Twitter, and Instagram at DriveOnPodcast.

]]> 00:55:50 <![CDATA[Fortitude]]> Tue, 05 May 2020 01:00:00 +0000 Scott DeLuzio https://drive-on-podcast.castos.com/podcasts/2296/episodes/fortitude I read Fortitude by Dan Crenshaw a few weeks ago, and it really resonated with what I’ve seen happening in America. I’d like to think that as veterans we are immune to some of the outrage culture that is talked about in the book, but unfortunately that’s not really the case.

In this episode, I do a brief review of the book, and give examples of how to reframe your thinking so that you make the best of bad situations you may find yourself in. In the book, Dan Crenshaw makes mention of the Saturday Night Live joke that was made about him, and what his response was to it. The joke, and the rebuttal are below if you haven’t seen them yet.

I also opened an invitation to Rep. Crenshaw to come on the show to discuss his book and his time in the Navy. You never get anything if you don’t ask for it, right?

Links & Resources

  • Fortitude
  • Pete Davidson’s “joke” about Dan Crenshaw:

  • Dan Crenshaw’s SNL appearance:

 

Transcript Expand

Hey everyone, thanks for tuning in. I don’t have a guest for today’s show, but I do have a topic that I think is pretty important that I would like to talk about.

A couple weeks ago I read a book called Fortitude, by Congressman and former Navy Seal, Dan Crenshaw. The book is all about the current American outrage culture. Actually, I say American, but this outrage culture probably goes beyond our borders to parts of Europe and beyond as well. I’m not too concerned with those places though. The book talks about the American spirit, which in years past was characterized by resilient, gritty people. Think of The Greatest Generation. The folks, largely men, who fought and won World War II on both the European and Pacific fronts. The resilient people who survived the Great Depression. The women who went to work in the factories while their husbands were away at war. This is a group of people who suffered hardship after hardship, yet they came out with the ability to survive and solve the problems that are set before them.

Those were the people who would watch movies with rough and tough actors like Clint Eastwood and John Wayne. They were tough, resilient, and didn’t let a little setback, or hell even a big setback, defeat them.

In the book, Dan Crenshaw tells about how an IED destroyed one of his eyes and blinded him in the other. If it wasn’t for his persistence with his doctors and their skilled hands, he wouldn’t have recovered vision in his left eye. Then, not to let some little setback like getting blown the fuck up hold him back, he then went on to complete two more deployments, graduated with a Master’s degree from Harvard, then to represent the state of Texas in the US House of Representatives.

When faced with setbacks, or devastating news like this we’re faced with a few choices that we have to make. And these are choices. We can choose how we react to these situations. First, we can be overwhelmed by the adversity. We can shut down, get mad or frustrated all while angrily blaming others for our situation. We can yell about how we were wronged and how someone else has to fix the problem. On the other hand, we can accept the situation for what it is and adjust so that we can have the greatest chance of success.

Let’s take a quick look at Dan Crenshaw’s situation. He was blown up by an IED. Both eyes were severely damaged, with one being completely destroyed. He could have gotten angry at the guy who made the bomb. He could have blamed the guy who triggered the bomb to detonate. He could have been outraged at the US government for sending him to a miserable country that can’t even handle it’s own affairs. He could have been upset with the medics and the doctors who maybe could have done something more to save his eye. He c...

]]> full 49 false I read Fortitude by Dan Crenshaw a few weeks ago, and it really resonated with what I’ve seen happening in America. I’d like to think that as veterans we are immune to some of the outrage culture that is talked about in the book, but unfortunately that’s not really the case.

In this episode, I do a brief review of the book, and give examples of how to reframe your thinking so that you make the best of bad situations you may find yourself in. In the book, Dan Crenshaw makes mention of the Saturday Night Live joke that was made about him, and what his response was to it. The joke, and the rebuttal are below if you haven’t seen them yet.

I also opened an invitation to Rep. Crenshaw to come on the show to discuss his book and his time in the Navy. You never get anything if you don’t ask for it, right?

Links & Resources

  • Fortitude
  • Pete Davidson’s “joke” about Dan Crenshaw:

  • Dan Crenshaw’s SNL appearance:

 

Transcript Expand

Hey everyone, thanks for tuning in. I don’t have a guest for today’s show, but I do have a topic that I think is pretty important that I would like to talk about.

A couple weeks ago I read a book called Fortitude, by Congressman and former Navy Seal, Dan Crenshaw. The book is all about the current American outrage culture. Actually, I say American, but this outrage culture probably goes beyond our borders to parts of Europe and beyond as well. I’m not too concerned with those places though. The book talks about the American spirit, which in years past was characterized by resilient, gritty people. Think of The Greatest Generation. The folks, largely men, who fought and won World War II on both the European and Pacific fronts. The resilient people who survived the Great Depression. The women who went to work in the factories while their husbands were away at war. This is a group of people who suffered hardship after hardship, yet they came out with the ability to survive and solve the problems that are set before them.

Those were the people who would watch movies with rough and tough actors like Clint Eastwood and John Wayne. They were tough, resilient, and didn’t let a little setback, or hell even a big setback, defeat them.

In the book, Dan Crenshaw tells about how an IED destroyed one of his eyes and blinded him in the other. If it wasn’t for his persistence with his doctors and their skilled hands, he wouldn’t have recovered vision in his left eye. Then, not to let some little setback like getting blown the fuck up hold him back, he then went on to complete two more deployments, graduated with a Master’s degree from Harvard, then to represent the state of Texas in the US House of Representatives.

When faced with setbacks, or devastating news like this we’re faced with a few choices that we have to make. And these are choices. We can choose how we react to these situations. First, we can be overwhelmed by the adversity. We can shut down, get mad or frustrated all while angrily blaming others for our situation. We can yell about how we were wronged and how someone else has to fix the problem. On the other hand, we can accept the situation for what it is and adjust so that we can have the greatest chance of success.

Let’s take a quick look at Dan Crenshaw’s situation. He was blown up by an IED. Both eyes were severely damaged, with one being completely destroyed. He could have gotten angry at the guy who made the bomb. He could have blamed the guy who triggered the bomb to detonate. He could have been outraged at the US government for sending him to a miserable country that can’t even handle it’s own affairs. He could have been upset with the medics and the doctors who maybe could have done something more to save his eye. He could have been angry at his family for not talking him out of joining the military. He could have held a grudge against his teammates who didn’t spot the IED before it blew up.

Now, let’s think about all of those reactions. All of them are certainly understandable reactions. I mean I’d be pissed if I got blown up and lost my vision. I can’t imagine too many people who wouldn’t be. But what is the outcome of all of those reactions? Nothing will really change will it? Getting angry at the guy who made the bomb – I mean the guy didn’t exactly leave his phone number next to the bomb so it’s probably pretty tough to find out who it was, so what good is that going to do? Blaming the guy who stepped on the IED wouldn’t do any good either. Outrage against the government? I mean you could protest, but they’re probably not going to change anything, so really what’s the point? Being mad with the medics and doctors who probably already feel like dirt because they couldn’t save his eye wouldn’t exactly help the situation. Being angry with his family would have been counterproductive at best. Family is often times all you have to lean on during difficult times like this.

Instead, he was determined to regain his vision. When doctors told him there was a slim chance that he’d ever see again, he pushed them to do the surgery that would ultimately end up saving his vision. His recovery forced him to lie face down for weeks while he battled hallucinations that were like a dream he never could wake up from. Seeing became his mission, and he wasn’t going to give up on that mission. He could have medically retired from the Navy and collected disability for the rest of his life without having to do anything else. Instead, he went back to school and got his master’s degree from Harvard. He’s now representing his home state in Congress.

Do you see the difference between the first set of reactions and the second? The first set wouldn’t accomplish anything except for maybe give an ulcer and ruin some relationships. The second reaction allowed him to make the best of a bad situation. He didn’t just survive the bomb blast, but he’s thriving now.

This is the issue we have in America these days. There are too many people who lash out. Scream and yell about this injustice or that injustice, and yet they accomplish nothing. People change their social media profile pictures in solidarity with one cause or another. They feel good that they’re doing something, but in reality they’re not doing anything. Nothing productive anyway.

But the people who yell and scream the loudest are the ones who are placed on a pedestal. They’re the ones who are seen as righteous. They’re looked up to the same way that The Greatest Generation looked up to John Wayne. This outrage culture appears to be turning the American spirit upside down. Tough is out, and weak is in. Cool and collected is out, upset and agitated are in. Self reliance is out, and dependence is in. Honor and respect is out, outrage and offense is in.

You might remember that Dan Crenshaw was the butt of a joke on Saturday Night Live by comedian Pete Davidson. The comedian made a joke about Crenshaw’s eye patch and brushed off the fact that he was injured in war. Now, to many these days that would be the spark that leads to outrage. For Crenshaw, however, he took the opportunity to address the joke head on. He was even invited to be on Saturday Night Live the next week where the comedian apologized for the joke, and Crenshaw was able to get in a few lighthearted jabs at the comedian’s expense.

Do you see how if Crenshaw became outraged, and maybe posted negative statements about the comedian on social media, called for him to be fired, or came back with insults nothing would really be accomplished. Maybe, at best, the comedian would have been fired. That’s a best case scenario stemming from outrage. Worst case is nothing happens. Instead, Crenshaw accepted the invitation to be on Saturday Night Live where the comedian not only apologized, but also allowed them to talk about veterans issues on one of the biggest shows in the country.

Do you see the difference? With the outrage reaction, nothing positive happens. At best someone loses their job, which isn’t positive. Maybe you don’t like the person, but making someone lose their job is never positive. With the calm, cool response, the hatchet was buried, and they got to bring awareness to various veteran issues.

It also goes to show that we can laugh at ourselves instead of being outraged when someone pokes fun at us.

All of these things are choices that we can make. No one is forcing us to become outraged. We choose our reactions.

When I lost my brother in Afghanistan, I swung through a wide range of emotions that day.

I started off with sadness, which I think is completely understandable given the situation. I cried and was consoled by my friends. That is up until bullets started flying, and I had to get back to my squad. During the firefight I started to become angry. By the end I was so enraged that at the time I wanted nothing more than to wipe every Afghan off the face of the planet. I remember looking at some of the Afghan soldiers who were with us thinking how pathetic they were. How they couldn’t even take care of their own country without us. If they could just handle their own situation us Americans wouldn’t have had to be there in the first place. People like my brother wouldn’t have had to die trying to rid them of the Taliban. That anger was short lived and as I found myself flying off of that mountaintop towards Bagram Air Base, I was able to find a bit of calm looking out over the barren Afghan terrain. By the time I got to Bagram I was still a mess emotionally and physically as I had injured my knee earlier that day. When I got to take a shower I found myself asking out loud “why Steve, why?” Obviously, I couldn’t talk to my brother. I wasn’t delusional, I knew he was dead. But I found myself asking God why he decided that 25 years was all my brother would get on this Earth? Why did bad things have to happen to good people? But in that moment I realized that I had to let go of my own understanding of what had happened and trust that something good could come from it. I had to let go of the anger that I held for the Afghan people. They didn’t pull the trigger that killed my brother. Well one of them did, but I trusted at the time that there wasn’t much left of that guy to be angry at. Ultimately, at the end of that day I landed on hope and faith. I had tried on all the other reactions – sadness, anger, outrage, blame – and none of them fit quite right. None of them provided me with a clear path to a better future. A path where something good could come from a tragic loss. Hope and faith are what I landed on. Hope for the future and faith that something good could come from the tragedy.

Now, don’t get me wrong, some of these other emotions popped back up from time to time. I struggled with anger, insomnia, and a few unhealthy coping mechanisms. But I would usually be able to come back to hope. I knew that I could “what-if” the situation all day long, but it wouldn’t bring my brother back to life. I could let the grief eat me up inside, but it wouldn’t let me grow from the tragedy.

And I think that’s one of the most important lessons that I learned from all of that. Bad things happen to people all the time. Sometimes by their own doing, and other times bad things just happen. If we can’t learn and grow from these situations, well that’s the greatest tragedy of all. Imagine if those people from the Greatest Generation didn’t stand up and fight after Pearl Harbor? Imagine if they didn’t learn how to become self reliant after the Great Depression. I’m pretty certain that history wouldn’t have remembered them as the Greatest Generation.

If I became a mean, angry, miserable person who was always mad at the world, I’m pretty sure it wouldn’t have gotten me anywhere. Remember, we have to make a choice about how we react to a situation. The outrage or anger reaction rarely, if ever, leads to a positive outcome. Maybe that outrage and anger would have soured my relationship with my family. Maybe I would have found myself alone, living on the streets, or worse. I know that might seem like a stretch, but it’s not like it hasn’t happened before to other people. Why am I so special that it couldn’t happen to me?

Instead, I have a loving wife who stuck by my side and while she did her best to be there for me, she also encouraged me to seek out professional help. She too had a choice to make. She could have become outraged at the person I had become. She could have yelled and screamed at me for being a jerk when I was having a bad day. Instead she chose patience. She was about as patient as one could be and she helped me get through probably the most difficult time in my life. Since then we’ve had two more children, and live in a loving home together.

Do you see the difference? Do you see how anger and outrage can’t create positive outcomes? Do you see how respect and grace open the possibility to positivity even in face of a negative situation?

This is what our culture is missing out on these days.

Again, I want to mention the book Fortitude by Dan Crenshaw. If you haven’t done so already, go out and get a copy. It’s available in all the typical places, Amazon, Barnes & Noble, and probably even in some smaller local bookstores, which I’d imagine could stand to use some of your business these days. So definitely go out and get the book. And forget about politics for a minute. Yes, the author is a Republican. I don’t care if you’re a Democrat, Libertarian, Socialist, Conservative, or whatever. This book has an important message that we all need to hear. So go check it out. Oh, and if you’re listening Dan, I’d love to have you on the show to discuss the book, your time in the Navy, or hell, anything else you want to discuss. Consider it an open invitation.

]]> 00:19:13 <![CDATA[What the American Legion is All About]]> Tue, 28 Apr 2020 01:00:00 +0000 Scott DeLuzio https://drive-on-podcast.castos.com/podcasts/2296/episodes/what-the-american-legion-is-all-about Veterans are looking for a few things after getting out of the military and organizations like the American Legion are offering exactly what they are looking for. Learn what the American Legion is all about in this episode.

One of the things that organizations like the American Legion have to offer is a sense of belonging. We all had a place in our units. Whether we were the lowest ranking Private, the CO or anywhere in between, we had a place. We were important. We belonged.

The American Legion gives you that sense of belonging. They have ample volunteer opportunities so you can help others with your expertise.

Even bigger than the sense of belonging though is access to the vast knowledge of the older veterans who have come before you. Do you really think that your readjustment to civilian life is unique? Those older Vietnam, Korea, and WWII vets went through that and more. They’ve screwed up from time to time, and then they’ve figured things out.

Who in their right mind wouldn’t want to have access to that type of a mentor? Pull up a seat at the bar next to someone who walked in your shoes a few decades earlier.

There’s a lot more than that going on at the American Legion. If you want to find out more listen to the episode and then visit the American Legion’s website or social media to become a member and learn more.

Links & Resources

Transcript Expand

Scott DeLuzio:    00:03    Thanks for tuning in to the Drive On Podcast where we talk about issues affecting Veterans after they get out of the military. Before we get started, I would like to ask a favor if you haven’t done so already, please rate and review the show on Apple podcasts. If you have already done that. Thank you. These ratings help the show get discovered so it can reach a wider audience. And while you are there, click the subscribe button so that you get notified of new episodes as soon as they come out. If you do not use Apple podcasts, you can visit DriveOnPodcast.com/subscribe to find other ways of subscribing, including our emails. I am your host Scott DeLuzio. And now let us get on with the show.

Scott DeLuzio:    00:44    Hey everyone, thanks for joining in the Drive On Podcast. Today my guest is Joseph Sharpe. Joseph is with the American Legion as the director of employment and Veterans transition. Joseph, welcome to the show. Why don’t you go ahead and tell us a little bit about your background, who you are, what you do with the American Legion and then we’ll jump into a conversation.

Joseph Sharpe:    01:07    Okay. Again, my name is Joseph Sharpe. I’m the director of the Veterans employment and education division for the American Legion. I’m a retired Army Vet. I spent about 30 years in the military, 14 years active duty and the rest were in the Reserves. As an active duty soldier, my title was Behavioral Science Research Specialist and as a reservist I was a Civil Affairs instructor. I’ve been with the Legion for about 24 years now. I was also in their veteran affairs visitation division for about six or seven years where we would go out and look at the VA hospitals and look at the quality of care. And then that became the deputy and then director of the veteran’s employment education, where we look out for Veterans as they transition out of the military to ensure that they are gainfully employed and financially stable and they’re able to contribute to their communities.

Scott DeLuzio:    02:20    Awesome. So, I mean it seems like you’ve had a...

]]> full 48 false Veterans are looking for a few things after getting out of the military and organizations like the American Legion are offering exactly what they are looking for. Learn what the American Legion is all about in this episode.

One of the things that organizations like the American Legion have to offer is a sense of belonging. We all had a place in our units. Whether we were the lowest ranking Private, the CO or anywhere in between, we had a place. We were important. We belonged.

The American Legion gives you that sense of belonging. They have ample volunteer opportunities so you can help others with your expertise.

Even bigger than the sense of belonging though is access to the vast knowledge of the older veterans who have come before you. Do you really think that your readjustment to civilian life is unique? Those older Vietnam, Korea, and WWII vets went through that and more. They’ve screwed up from time to time, and then they’ve figured things out.

Who in their right mind wouldn’t want to have access to that type of a mentor? Pull up a seat at the bar next to someone who walked in your shoes a few decades earlier.

There’s a lot more than that going on at the American Legion. If you want to find out more listen to the episode and then visit the American Legion’s website or social media to become a member and learn more.

Links & Resources

Transcript Expand

Scott DeLuzio:    00:03    Thanks for tuning in to the Drive On Podcast where we talk about issues affecting Veterans after they get out of the military. Before we get started, I would like to ask a favor if you haven’t done so already, please rate and review the show on Apple podcasts. If you have already done that. Thank you. These ratings help the show get discovered so it can reach a wider audience. And while you are there, click the subscribe button so that you get notified of new episodes as soon as they come out. If you do not use Apple podcasts, you can visit DriveOnPodcast.com/subscribe to find other ways of subscribing, including our emails. I am your host Scott DeLuzio. And now let us get on with the show.

Scott DeLuzio:    00:44    Hey everyone, thanks for joining in the Drive On Podcast. Today my guest is Joseph Sharpe. Joseph is with the American Legion as the director of employment and Veterans transition. Joseph, welcome to the show. Why don’t you go ahead and tell us a little bit about your background, who you are, what you do with the American Legion and then we’ll jump into a conversation.

Joseph Sharpe:    01:07    Okay. Again, my name is Joseph Sharpe. I’m the director of the Veterans employment and education division for the American Legion. I’m a retired Army Vet. I spent about 30 years in the military, 14 years active duty and the rest were in the Reserves. As an active duty soldier, my title was Behavioral Science Research Specialist and as a reservist I was a Civil Affairs instructor. I’ve been with the Legion for about 24 years now. I was also in their veteran affairs visitation division for about six or seven years where we would go out and look at the VA hospitals and look at the quality of care. And then that became the deputy and then director of the veteran’s employment education, where we look out for Veterans as they transition out of the military to ensure that they are gainfully employed and financially stable and they’re able to contribute to their communities.

Scott DeLuzio:    02:20    Awesome. So, I mean it seems like you’ve had a quite a career, not only with the military but also with the American Legion as well, doing a lot of great things for those Veterans that you’ve been working with. A few months ago, I had someone from another veteran’s organization on the show and one of my goals for having someone from that organization was to clear up any misconceptions about what they’re all about, what the organization does. And that’s what I’d like to do today with you as well. A lot of the younger Veterans think of organizations like the American Legion, the VFW and others like that as an old man’s club, like an outdated relic that their grandfathers would go to hang out. I think between you and me, we know that that’s not true, but there’s this connotation surrounding these organization that sticks with many people. That’s one of the things I’d like to clear up with this episode. Why don’t you give us a little background on the American Legion? Things like, who’s eligible to be a member. What are some of the benefits of being a member? A little of the background, the history of where it came from and what its purpose, what its goal, and things like that.

Joseph Sharpe:    03:49    Well, the American legion recently celebrated its 100th birthday. The legion was formed towards the ending of WWI. In fact, our first conferences was in Paris, France,  where those soldiers who were leaving decided they needed to form some sort of organization to keep the brotherhood of military folks alive and to also assist Veterans as they transition out of the military. And since that time, practically every federal program that we currently have, is a program that was formed in lobby by the American Legion. The big example is the 1945 GI bill, which was the catalyst for us to have this huge middle-class today. At that time, we had about 16 million Veterans leaving the military. This is closing WW II. And because of the GI bill, many of those individuals were able to start a farm, start a business, obtain licensing certifications, and they were able to go to college and to graduate.

Joseph Sharpe:    05:15    And that brought about an economic boom in this country that we’re enjoying today.  That’s just one of the things that the American Legion did for Veterans and for the economy and for the country as a whole. Now the American Legion is made up of four pillars. We have our national security division, we have a veteran affairs rehabilitation division, an Americanism division, and children and youth. Not only do we look for the benefit to help Veterans as they transition out, but we also have a lot of programs to assist the Veterans with their children and youth programs where we have a boys state, girls state program, a lot of scholarship programs. We also promote Americanism in our schools. Just to give you one example, our boys state and girls state program was formed back in 1933 as our answer to the Hitler youth program in Germany. And it’s still going on to this day, as far as boys state and girls States, a leadership program for individuals that are going into their senior year. And it’s been an excellent program since 1933.

Scott DeLuzio:    06:48    Who is eligible to be a member in the American Legion?

Joseph Sharpe:    06:55    Eligibility depends primarily on those individuals that were on active duty during the time of war.

Scott DeLuzio:    07:06    And what are some of the benefits of being a member. I know you talked a little bit about the four pillars of the organization and how you help promote Americanism and various children and youth programs, but for the veteran, what are some of the benefits of being a member in the organization?

Joseph Sharpe:    07:32    Well, one of the benefits is to instill a sense of belonging. Because being in the military is different than being a civilian. And we go through certain hardships and certain experiences that only other Veterans have. And it’s great to be around individuals that have the same background and experiences as you have. Plus, we have various programs as well, for example in the Veterans employment education division. We do a lot of advocacy work to make sure that Veterans are hired in the federal government, we also encourage the private sector to hire Veterans. We have our licensing certification program, which is the program to have Veterans certified and receive their credentials prior to them leaving the military. So instead of going under unemployment, once they have that certification, they can go directly to work. We also help Veterans who want to start or grow their small businesses and help them if they want to do any type of federal contract. We’re very big at preventing homelessness and advocating for homeless Veterans as well.  Our Veterans’ Affairs and rehabilitation program would help Veterans with their service connections. Those that were injured while on active duty ensure that they’re compensated properly and able to return to the workforce.

Scott DeLuzio:    09:21     Those sound to me like some great benefits you’re doing. A lot of great things really with the Veterans who were either members or who are maybe not members, but they still need some assistance through what you have to offer. So, one of the things I want to circle back to something that you talked about a little bit. On this podcast, we’ve talked before about things like having a sense of belonging and that’s one of the things that you had mentioned as a benefit to be a member in the American Legion. There are some people who listen to this podcast who’ve been out of the military for a number of years who are missing the sense of belonging that came with being in their unit, with the other soldiers, Marines or whatever branch they were in, being with those individuals.

Scott DeLuzio:    10:23    Can you talk a little bit about how being a member of an organization like the American Legion helps create that sense of belonging or comradery like we used to have while serving in the military? Like what are the functions and other volunteer opportunities and some of the things that foster that sense of belonging within the American Legion?

Joseph Sharpe:    10:51    Well, the best way to explain it is that even though you’ve left the military, one of the big issues with Veterans who leave the military is that when you join the military, it will take you anywhere for six months to a year to adjust to the military and to understand the culture of the military and be able to complete the training that you received. However, when you leave the military, we generally only give individuals a week to prepare to leave and rejoin the private sector. The Legion or the various service organizations can be that guide to assist those Veterans as they’re transitioning out and help them to adapt to being a civilian again, because you really don’t have that much time. And so, when you’re with individuals that have gone through that experience, you have that connection. The Legion is still about service though they’re volunteer opportunities for that individual. You’re talking with individuals that had been out for a while who could more or less give you an idea of opportunities in that particular community. Talk to you about healthcare and employment, assist with your family as you had adjust out. It’s a way of bridging that gap between being a veteran and suddenly being the civilian and kind of ease that shock of going back into the civilian world.

Scott DeLuzio:    12:53    That’s important to have somebody who’s walked in your shoes before. They’ve gone through this whole process of transitioning from military to civilian life. And like you said, it feels like a dimmer when you’re getting into the military. It’s a gradual process. You don’t walk into basic training on day one and instantly you’re a soldier or whatever and you know how to act, you know the culture and all this kind of stuff. On the flip side of your career, at the end of your career, it’s more like a light switch where at the end you’re just turning it off and you can’t just turn off the last six, 10, 20 years of your life, and how you’ve conducted yourself, how the people you’ve been around, you can’t just shut that stuff off right away.

Scott DeLuzio:    13:56    And I feel like a lot of people that I’ve talked to, haven’t described it quite as a shock. But they probably have gone through some sort of a shock and it’s probably a fairly traumatic experience for a lot of people who are losing that sense of identity, that sense of purpose.  So maybe what are some of the volunteer opportunities that exist within the American Legion? I spoke with somebody else a couple of weeks ago that was talking about doing service mission type projects, building houses for homeless people and other things like that, serving people. I know that’s an important part for people in terms of their sense of belonging or their sense of purpose, I should say. What are some of the volunteer opportunities that exist within the American Legion that can help people create that sense of purpose when they get out and now feel like they don’t have a sense of purpose anymore after the military?

Joseph Sharpe:    15:15    Well, it’s the opportunities to serve are endless. For that veteran who’s going back to a particular community or their own, they’re all types of homeless projects that many of our posts are involved in beautification of the community, helping out other military families who may be in dire need of trying to keep up with their rent, trying to find employment, assisting disabled Veterans, getting groceries for individuals, cutting their grass, it’s just endless. And that’s what some of our posts now are doing. With this virus, they are helping a lot families, especially the elderly who are not able to get out and buy groceries or cut the grass or fix the car or provide an outlet for the children and those types of things. And we have some YouTube programs as well, so it runs the gamut of, assisting Veterans and families in the community.

Scott DeLuzio:    16:52    Yeah, that’s great. And I think the spirit of volunteering and helping out the community really helps to strengthen the community as a whole when you have people who are willing to do that, especially in times like these that we’re in now with the virus that’s going around. There are people who are quite frankly just afraid to leave their homes and if you have people who are willing to help out and able to help out, even simple things like getting groceries, it may seem like a simple thing, but to some people it could mean the world to them.

Joseph Sharpe:    17:30    Yeah. Given them a ride to their doctor or a medical clinic or somewhere, something like that.

Scott DeLuzio:    17:37    I want to backtrack a little bit on the background of the American Legion and how it’s made up right now. Do you have any numbers or any data on the makeup of the American Legion in terms of which areas the members are from, in terms of WWII era, Korea, Vietnam, all the way through to the more recent wars that are going on in Afghanistan, Iraq, those types of things. Do you have a breakdown of what that looks like?

Joseph Sharpe:    18:20    Well, the American Legion has about two million members. We also have the American Legion, Women’s Auxiliary, and their numbers are about 500,000. We have sons of American Legion, they have about 350,000. We have 55 departments. Which is equivalent to a state and the additional five deals with many of our territories, like department of France, department of the Philippines, department of Mexico, and Puerto Rico. As far as the makeup of our Veterans within the Legion, I would say most of them were Vietnam Vets. We also have a large portion of our membership that are post 9/11 individuals as well. We have about 10,000 posts worldwide. We’re a pretty large organization.

Scott DeLuzio:    19:35    Have you seen a shift in recent years with the makeup of the membership leaning more towards the post 9/11 era with that membership growing over time. I mean, obviously it’s more than it was before 9/11, but has that steadily increased over time?

Joseph Sharpe:    19:58    That membership has grown and when you hear a lot of talk about the American Legion, some of the members being older, I would say the largest proportion of Veterans are Vietnam Veterans. And the reason for that is that, when you’re young, you are working, trying to take care of your family. With the Legion, a lot of our Vietnam Veterans have retired so they have more time to really work with the younger generation going through life. So, their expertise is valuable to the younger Veterans that are coming up. Which I see as a plus, they do have the time to put into it and,

Joseph Sharpe:    20:57    for many of our members, it’s a godsend to have somebody that’s older that is financially stable and that has worked and knows the communities thoroughly, so they can really ease that transition for that veteran, their family into that particular community. So, that’s a plus. It’s not a negative.

Scott DeLuzio:    21:21    No, absolutely. I like that you emphasize that point too, because I feel like a lot of people who are hesitant about joining an organization like the American Legion are hesitant because they don’t want to join a group of crusty old men who are just hanging out and telling them their own old war stories and they’re not really feeling like they’re going to fit in. I don’t think that’s going to be the case at all though. I feel like a lot of the older generation of Veterans have more time. A lot of them are retired. They’re financially stable. They have the time to volunteer and help those younger vets who might be struggling to figure out their place in this world after they get out of the military. So, having the expertise of those older Veterans is truly valuable to have. And so, having an organization that is full of that type of expertise is important, especially for these younger Veterans who are just getting out of the military, or maybe got out five, 10 years ago.

Joseph Sharpe:    22:52    Think about it, we have young guys that want to come out and they want to start their own businesses. Well, the American Legion has a small business task force made up of successful businessmen/Veterans from across the country, which we can easily connect them to, if they want to do federal procurement well, we have Veterans who are experts in federal cases,

Joseph Sharpe:    23:18    if they want a decent education, we have Veterans that are professors that know those particular universities inside and out and can give them some wisdom on the best way to enroll and what they need to do to get ready to go to school or if they need service connected help, if they wouldn’t be service connected for their injuries. Who best to talk to is some of our department service officers who are older and had been helping Veterans with 10 to 20 plus years. It just makes sense to try and connect with Veterans who have that experience because we always tell a Veteran when they are looking for employment, the best thing to do is network. Well, a lot of the corporations that are hiring Veterans, are Legionnaires, so you have that inside scoop to get into something.

Scott DeLuzio:    24:20    I like what you just mentioned, I wanted to circle back to the service connected, like disabilities and things like that. There are people there who will help you through that process. I went through the process on my own, you file for my own disabilities and it was kind of a pain in the neck to do it all on my own, not really knowing the whole process because nobody really sits down and explains what that process is looking like to you. As you’re returning from overseas or whatever, that process is a gray area.

Scott DeLuzio:    25:06    You are aware that there is a process that needs to get done. You file paperwork and you go through the steps, but did you really do it all right? Did you do everything that you could to make sure that everything went through correctly and it is a daunting task to do on your own. But if you have people who are there who know what to do, they know the process that’s going to make it 10 times easier than it would be if you just go it on your own. I know that the American Legion is also involved in several legislative initiatives. We sort of touched on this a little bit earlier, but what are some of the more recent ones that American Legion has had for Veterans with regards to those legislative initiatives, various laws or things like that that have gone through to promote or benefit Veterans?

Joseph Sharpe:    26:07    Well, most of the recent benefits that we have won, the American Legion played a huge part in. I guess the biggest one is the post 9/11 GI bill. We’ve been looking to improve education availability for Veterans for years, but back in 2004, the American Legion really wanted a new GI bill, very similar to the one we introduced back in the 40’s and that turned into the post 9/11 bill. We wanted Veterans to be able to go to school and not worry about tuition, get a stipend for housing, for their books, and that legislation was passed in the perfect time, right in the middle of the recession that we had during that time. So, I know a lot of Veterans personally couldn’t find a job, but they were able to go to school and get those credentials and those degrees.

Joseph Sharpe:    27:24    That sense that once when they graduated, they will be equal footing with the civilian counterparts. The other thing was many of our homeless legislations have been passed in the lasts few years, especially the VA HUD bash program back in the early 2000s. We had about 250,000 homeless Veterans, and with the advocacy that Legion has done, we’re down to about 20,000 homeless Veterans, which is huge because at that time, a lot of individuals will say, well, folks are homeless because they want to. But now we know from 250,000 to about 20,000 then that’s not true. I think now our thing is preventing Veterans from becoming homeless prior to them leaving the military. And that’s one of the things we’re working with DOD is to start identifying individuals who may become homeless or might have some sort of a homeless suicidal ideations, get ahold of those individuals prior to the departure from the military so we can get them into treatment so they don’t have to go unemployed or harm themselves or do something that is harmful to them and their families and the communities that they are going back to.,

Scott DeLuzio:    29:12    You have these people who are fine soldiers, they’re good at their job in the military. Then you take them out of that environment and they may not know quite how to manage themselves. And so, having that support from organizations like the American Legion and through these laws that have been passed, help these Veterans to keep them from becoming homeless is super valuable. I know several Veterans myself who have wound up being homeless, either living in their car or something along those lines.

Scott DeLuzio:    30:09    And knowing them as a soldier, they were great soldiers. They were squared away. Things were going well for them and everything while they were in the military. Take them away from that, and then things started to fall apart a little bit. So, knowing that there are organizations out there, I would really encourage people who might be listening to this, especially if within the next couple of months you are going to be getting out of the military, or even if you’re not going to be getting out of the military for a little while now, just keep in mind that there are organizations out there that are going to help you if you need it when you get out.

Scott DeLuzio:    30:57    It should not be a pride thing that you don’t ask for help, if you need it. And the alternative is you’re living on the streets. Reach out and ask for that help, go to these organizations like the American Legion and ask for the assistance so that you can be a productive member of that society instead of living on the streets and struggling to figure out how to make it in the world, after the military.

Scott DeLuzio:    31:34    Joseph, is there anything else that you’d like to tell us about the American Legion? Any other things that maybe we haven’t covered that people might want to know about that might open up their eyes to different things that maybe the American Legion is doing that they might be able to help out with or benefit from, things like that?

Joseph Sharpe: Well, one of the things that American Legion really wants to emphasize to those that are still on active duty is to really do what you can to reach out to us because it’s really important to know exactly where you want to go once you leave the military.  I know that a lot of individuals want to go home.

Joseph Sharpe:    32:39    Also look around at what type of veteran programs are in your community. Look at the housing market, look at the quality of education, look at the quality of a hospital care, and know your veteran benefits. And look at those States that also have federal benefits because you’re going to make out economically if you go to Texas.  Texas has excellent programs for Veterans as they leave the military. Certain areas are a quality health care at those VA hospitals, great educational institutions and just add up all your benefits and really look at that. And, when the individual decides that they want to go to a four-year school, look for the best quality school in your area. Legion feels that many Veterans may not think that they are entitled to a quality school.

Joseph Sharpe:    34:04    They may decide to go to one of these so-called schools, online requirements are not that difficult to get into this institution but realize that we are better than that. We do not have to go to a lesser school if we want to go to law school. Look for the best law school in your state that you are going back to. If you are getting your licensing/certification, the same thing, look at those schools that have the best programs and have that particular course, look at the graduation rates, their employment rates, and just look for the best quality school, best quality area that you can go to.

Scott DeLuzio:    35:08    I think that is great advice. Do not sell yourself short. You have some great experience, the discipline that you have learned in the military is going to help you in your education as you go forward. I think that is some solid advice that you had for these people who are getting out and looking for that next step. One last thing before we wrap up here, where can people go to find out more information about the American Legion?

Joseph Sharpe:  Legion.org

Scott DeLuzio:  I’ll have a link to that in the show notes and some of your social media pages as well just to make sure that anyone who is looking for that type of information, they have all of it easily accessible.

Scott DeLuzio:    36:06    I am sure you can Google it and find more information about that as well if you are up for that. So, thank you again for joining me today. This information is great and I think it will help a lot of Veterans who are in that transition period, who are looking for that sense of belonging, a sense of purpose and things like that. So, thank you again, Joseph, for your time and for being on the show to share that with the listeners.

Joseph Sharpe:  Thank you for having me.

Scott DeLuzio:    36:48    Thanks for listening to the Drive On Podcast. If you want to check out more episodes or learn more about the show, you can visit our website, DriveOnPodcast.com, we are on Facebook, Twitter, and Instagram at DriveOnPodcast.

]]> 00:37:09 <![CDATA[Healing Through Service]]> Tue, 21 Apr 2020 01:00:00 +0000 Scott DeLuzio https://drive-on-podcast.castos.com/podcasts/2296/episodes/healing-through-service Aaron Quinonez, affectionately known as SGT Q talks about how serving others has helped him and others recover from difficult times.

Aaron’s organization, QMissions provides veterans with an opportunity to serve others all while healing from their own often invisible wounds. The service missions are structured very much like a military unit with squad leaders in charge of various aspects of the mission, and individuals who carry out the mission.

This is all done through a religious lense using the teachings from the Bible to aid veterans to a better life through service.

Links & Resources

Transcript Expand

Scott DeLuzio:    00:03    Thanks for tuning in to the Drive On Podcast where we talk about issues affecting veterans after they get out of the military. Before we get started, I’d like to ask a favor if you haven’t done so already, please rate and review the show on Apple podcasts. If you’ve already done that. Thank you. These ratings help the show get discovered so it can reach a wider audience. And while you’re there, click the subscribe button so that you get notified of new episodes as soon as they come out. If you don’t use Apple podcasts, you can visit DriveOnPodcasts.com/subscribe to find other ways of subscribing, including our email list. I’m your host, Scott DeLuzio, and now let’s get on with the show.

Scott DeLuzio:    00:44    Hi everyone. Today, my guest is Aaron Quinonez. Aaron is with Q Missions, which is an organization that exists to create a platform for veterans to live out the calling that God has put in their lives, and they help create infrastructure so that they can focus on the mission at hand by providing support and funding and other mentoring programs for veterans. So, Aaron, welcome to the show. Why don’t you tell us a little bit about yourself, a little bit about your time in the service and what your organization, Q Missions is all about.  I’m sure you could do a much better job explaining it than I could.

Aaron Quinonez    01:21    I just want to say thank you for having me on your podcast. It’s a real blessing to be able to come on and share with people what we do to help veterans out here in the community. So, thanks for allowing me this time and I hope that I can inspire some of your listeners here to get out there and start serving other people. So, I grew up in the mountains in Northern California, in this small little hippie commune, redneck town called Mad River. It’s right on the Humboldt county line. So, if you guys know Humboldt County, tons of pot farming goes on there. I grew up, my parents were farmers and I grew up in a really strange lifestyle. I’ve seen that whole industry go from the Wild West to main street.

Aaron Quinonez    02:05    I have a unique perspective on that whole industry. But I knew that wasn’t the kind of lifestyle I wanted to live. So, when I grew up watching that society and how they interacted with everyone else, I knew I wanted something different for my life. And I started reading a lot of books in the library because...

]]> full 47 false Aaron Quinonez, affectionately known as SGT Q talks about how serving others has helped him and others recover from difficult times.

Aaron’s organization, QMissions provides veterans with an opportunity to serve others all while healing from their own often invisible wounds. The service missions are structured very much like a military unit with squad leaders in charge of various aspects of the mission, and individuals who carry out the mission.

This is all done through a religious lense using the teachings from the Bible to aid veterans to a better life through service.

Links & Resources

Transcript Expand

Scott DeLuzio:    00:03    Thanks for tuning in to the Drive On Podcast where we talk about issues affecting veterans after they get out of the military. Before we get started, I’d like to ask a favor if you haven’t done so already, please rate and review the show on Apple podcasts. If you’ve already done that. Thank you. These ratings help the show get discovered so it can reach a wider audience. And while you’re there, click the subscribe button so that you get notified of new episodes as soon as they come out. If you don’t use Apple podcasts, you can visit DriveOnPodcasts.com/subscribe to find other ways of subscribing, including our email list. I’m your host, Scott DeLuzio, and now let’s get on with the show.

Scott DeLuzio:    00:44    Hi everyone. Today, my guest is Aaron Quinonez. Aaron is with Q Missions, which is an organization that exists to create a platform for veterans to live out the calling that God has put in their lives, and they help create infrastructure so that they can focus on the mission at hand by providing support and funding and other mentoring programs for veterans. So, Aaron, welcome to the show. Why don’t you tell us a little bit about yourself, a little bit about your time in the service and what your organization, Q Missions is all about.  I’m sure you could do a much better job explaining it than I could.

Aaron Quinonez    01:21    I just want to say thank you for having me on your podcast. It’s a real blessing to be able to come on and share with people what we do to help veterans out here in the community. So, thanks for allowing me this time and I hope that I can inspire some of your listeners here to get out there and start serving other people. So, I grew up in the mountains in Northern California, in this small little hippie commune, redneck town called Mad River. It’s right on the Humboldt county line. So, if you guys know Humboldt County, tons of pot farming goes on there. I grew up, my parents were farmers and I grew up in a really strange lifestyle. I’ve seen that whole industry go from the Wild West to main street.

Aaron Quinonez    02:05    I have a unique perspective on that whole industry. But I knew that wasn’t the kind of lifestyle I wanted to live. So, when I grew up watching that society and how they interacted with everyone else, I knew I wanted something different for my life. And I started reading a lot of books in the library because we didn’t have TV or anything like that. We were pretty poor. And so I read a lot of books in the library and I love national geographic magazines and I loved reading about all these places, the Mayan ruins and the Aztec temples, the pyramids in Egypt and Cambodia, all these great places.  I want to go see these places. So, when I got into high school, I thought my best opportunity coming from a society in an environment like that would be to join the military because then I could travel the world and see the world and experience all these places.

Aaron Quinonez    03:01    But anybody who’s been in the military realizes that that’s what they show you on the poster. But that’s not reality. You’re usually sitting in a hot desert under a small canopy with a radio looking at the desert. So, I didn’t get to see any of those places when I was in the Marines.  I did really enjoy a lot of time in the military.  I was a Marine, I was part of first ANGLICO. And so, if you guys don’t know what that is, it’s the air Naval gunfire liaison company. And so, what we do, we’re a small group of board observers, and we’re all master parachutes. So we’ll parachute in and we’ll call for fire. So we call an air artillery and mortars. We do Casa vac, all that stuff.

Aaron Quinonez    03:51    So we control all the air on station. You can also do combined arms with artillery or Naval gunfire, which they’ve really phased out now. But that was my specialty. So, it was a really great job. I got to do a lot of good stuff. I think they took the jump billot away currently for the ANGLICO Marines, but I know they’re trying to get it back. When I was there, I had a jump billet, became a master parachutist, but it was great. I got to do a lot of cool stuff. Became a close combat instructor, Naval weapons security manager, got to do a lot of high-speed stuff. So, I liked my time in the military. In 2003, I did a deployment to Iraq when the war first kicked off. And when I came back I was struggling with mental health and I just really didn’t understand it.

Aaron Quinonez    04:35    I didn’t know what was going on and I thought I had really limited combat experience, so why am I having these issues? What’s going on with this? I’m going to the VA and getting help and it wasn’t working out for me. So, I just started reading a lot about mental health, how the brain operates and what’s going on and how to fix myself. And so, through that I ended up in a church and I was really struggling. I ended up being homeless for a little bit and living on the street. And when I came out of homelessness, I couldn’t find a job anywhere. So I started my own janitorial company. And so it was just me and one other guy.

Aaron Quinonez    05:20    We’re just scrubbing floors because we knew how to do that, right? Everybody in the military knows how to clean stuff. I figured that’s a transferable skill, right? I could do that. And I did it well because in the military you get to do it by the numbers. So, me and my buddy, we got a good reputation of doing good work and we picked up more work and more work and more work.  I’ve been in business 11 years now and I employ over a hundred people here in the Puget Sound. So, in 10 years I went from homeless to a business owner employing over a hundred people here in the Seattle area. So, it’s been quite a journey.

Scott DeLuzio: That’s amazing. Wow.  So, one of the topics that your organization, Q Missions deals with that I haven’t really brought up on the show yet is the topic of religion, is that correct?

Scott DeLuzio:    06:14    It’s not that I was avoiding this topic on the show at all. I’m a proud Christian. I wouldn’t mind having other guests on the show to talk about it because I think it can be really important, especially for those who are going through difficult times. So, trauma or PTSD, that type of thing. When we first started chatting online about having you on the show, you said that the spiritual side of PTSD is rarely addressed. Maybe it’s because religion is one of those taboo topics mixed in with money and politics that no one really wants to touch, but that doesn’t appear to be the case with you in your organization. So, how is your organization different? How do you address religion and spirituality and what is it that you do with that?

Aaron Quinonez    07:03    Well, that’s a great question.  I’ll give you a brief description and then I’ll tell you how I got there. So when I look at all the different treatments that are out there, especially the stuff that is offered from the government or that’s government funded or backed, they treat the mental, the physical and the emotional side of trauma. And that’s great, but that’s only three legs on the table. So, if you imagine you have a kitchen table, it’s got four legs, but if you take one of those legs out, the table looks fine, but it’s unstable. As soon as you start putting weight on it is going to tip over. And I feel that’s the same way with mental health treatment. And if you’re only treating the mental side, the physical side and the emotional side, everything will be okay for a while until that individual gets some extra stress put on them.

Aaron Quinonez    07:51    And then the table folds with extra weight, just like the individual with extra stress in their life because they don’t have that fourth leg for stability, the spiritual side. And so, I saw this was severely lacking in all the different treatments that I tried. They didn’t address this spiritual aspect at all. It just wasn’t talked about. And if you brought it up, it was kind of like just to pat you on the head, that’s nice that that works for you, but we’re not talking about that here. And so I think that they do a huge disservice to all the veterans out there because they don’t even address it. And so for some people, that’s fine. They don’t want anything to do with religion. That’s great. That’s on them.

Aaron Quinonez    08:31    That’s their idea. That’s great. But there’s a lot of people that are in the middle. They don’t know what they want. If you never produced that opportunity for them, if you never give them that as a possibility or a resource, they’re never going to know about it. And so that’s where we fill that gap. For me, I was very anti-religion my whole life, I had some undesirable experiences with the church when I was a kid. I only went to church a couple of years to some youth group. I didn’t really get along there and didn’t fit in, had some bad experiences. And so, I was anti-religion my whole military career. I remember I was really struggling with mental health. It was 2009. I was really struggling with mental health and I was going to commit suicide.

Aaron Quinonez    09:25    It was a warm July day and I found this empty parking lot. And so, I drove into it and then I backed my truck to this building and I was going to commit suicide there, in that parking lot, in that side parking lot. But I heard some kids playing and so I thought, “all right, there’s got to be a playground nearby so I’m not going to commit suicide here and have these poor kids find me, so I’m just going to wait until they leave and then I’ll do it.” I ended up falling asleep. When I woke up, those suicidal ideations were gone? So, I just drove off, didn’t think much about it. A couple of weeks later, a friend invited me to church and I said, “all right, I’ll go check it out” because he’d been bugging me for a while.

Aaron Quinonez    10:09    And so he gives me the address and I’m driving to church and I pull into that very same parking lot that I almost committed suicide in just a few days before. And it was a super eerie feeling to be driving back into that parking lot thinking, “wow, I almost ended my life here. This is crazy.” What is going on? And I started attending that church, not really understanding the religion, not really understanding what they were talking about. So, I just started reading the Bible cover to cover. I’d read it every day. I joined a small group there because I figured if I’m going to do this, I need to learn as much as I can. I gave my life to the Lord and walked up to the alter call and I thought, “well this is it. I’ll do the altar call and all these problems are going away.”

Aaron Quinonez    10:54    I’ll be fine. And so I do that. And the clouds don’t open, the birds don’t start singing, nothing happens. What was it that didn’t work? I’m still having all these problems. But I didn’t give up.  I just kept reading the Bible and the guys that were in my Bible study were great. They’re so gracious with me. So, they were so gracious because I had so many questions all the time. And so we would be studying something and then one time a month, the entire Bible study would just revolve around me and my questions, they call it Aaron’s questions because I’d be reading the Bible and have all these questions and I wouldn’t want to interrupt the group, but I’d still want to know. And so, one time a month they would say, all right, what questions do you have?

Aaron Quinonez    11:43    And I would just go through all these questions that I had and they would explain it to me and help me understand what was going on. And so that was really great. It really helped me a lot, but I still wasn’t really seeing any benefits of being a Christian, as far as my mental health goes. I felt better. There’s a group of guys who understood me, but they weren’t veterans. They couldn’t understand exactly what I was going through, but at least they were cool to me. They could empathize and they would be there for me but not in the capacity that I needed. And it was just because they didn’t have that shared experience. They didn’t understand what I was going through, so no fault of their own. These guys were great. I’m still good friends with these guys today, but it just wasn’t enough to help me get over that hump.

Aaron Quinonez    12:26    And so, I remember I got invited to go to Mexico by one of the pastors to build a home for a homeless family and it was on Memorial Day and I was not really interested in doing that. I’ve done all my time overseas. I’m good man. I’m just going to stay right here in the U.S., there’s plenty of stuff I can do here. He kept pushing it. He kept pushing me, kept pushing, kept pushing. And so, through a series of circumstances, I ended up going to this Mexico mission trip. It was on Memorial Day. And so that was another reason for me to be like, “no, sorry, not going to do it I have plans for Memorial Day.” I was going to sit in a bar and get drunk and remember the guys that didn’t come home with me, that was what I’d been doing, my tradition.

Aaron Quinonez    13:12    That’s what I was going to do. But I decided to do something different. I felt that calling on my heart. So, I went to Mexico and built that home for a homeless family. And when I was there, I didn’t know what was happening to me. But it felt like these layers were just getting stripped off me. Wait, what is this feeling? Never experienced this before. I’m having emotions because at that point I was totally numb to everything. I wasn’t happy, I wasn’t sad. I was just completely neutral, numbed out. If you can look at pictures of me back then I just have this like blank stare on my face. I’m checked out and I’m wondering what is happening? I’m having emotions for the first time.

Aaron Quinonez    13:55    This is strange. So, I didn’t know what was happening, but I knew I needed more of that, whatever that was, I wanted more of it. And so, I came back to church and I talked to the pastor and said, what other trips do you guys do? Several trips a year. He got me connected with the mission director at the church and he started taking me on all these trips so I would go three or four times a year to various countries: Haiti, Honduras, Malawi, Kenya, Cambodia, the Philippines, Indonesia, Honduras, Mexico. I go all over the world and I build churches and schools and orphanages. We give out food. The whole time, God was healing and I didn’t realize it at the time, I was just doing it because I was being obedient to what the Lord called me to do.

Aaron Quinonez    14:54    But I learned if there was healing, serving other people and healing, serving God. And it was remarkable because the whole time I’m still going through mental health treatment at the VA and these different things. I’m trying all kinds of stuff, hypnotherapy, all this stuff and none of it is helping. The only thing that was helping me was being able to go on missions and help other people. When I was helping other people, I was on point, I was on mission and I was getting 10 times more then I was actually giving to the people I was serving and it was really self-serving because I know that if I go and I help these people, I am going to feel good about it. I’m going to receive healing as well. And so, through this process, I created this whole concept of healing through service for myself.

Aaron Quinonez    15:44    So by reading different mental health magazines and different research studies that were out, there’s a good research study out, it’s called The Mother Teresa effect. This college, what they did is they took these group of students and they did saliva swabs because they were looking for a specific protein that made them feel happy. And so, they were looking for this protein and so, they did these swabs before and then they had them watch 90 minutes of Mother Teresa out doing good works in the world, like a little mini documentary of all the different things that she did to help people and what she did and what she was about.

Aaron Quinonez    16:40    And then they took saliva swabs at the end and guess what? They found that protein in high concentrations. And so it was really remarkable and it backs up a lot of what the Bible says about helping one another. And so, I had the Bible and these research studies and I just built this program for myself to better understand mental health and how to overcome PTSD and trauma. And it worked out great for me. I was having great results. My business was doing well. My marriage was doing well. When I was on a mission, I felt more alive than ever. I’m helping people. And so that’s how it all started. It was just me trying to figure out mental health for myself and create that fourth leg of the table, which is the spiritual side, which is what a lot of different organizations are missing. And so, I try and bring that to the forefront. We still need the mental health counseling. We still need the physical rehabilitation and maybe you need some medication. It’s going to help you get through some of this counseling part. You need to understand the emotional side of it. But we must bring in the spiritual aspect as well. Otherwise, you’re going to be unstable when you’re out there in society.

Scott DeLuzio:    18:00     It’s really interesting to hear that story where you go in and you’re serving other people and to someone outside looking in who maybe doesn’t have any experience with service and things like that, they may think, well, how is that possibly going to help? That seems like it’s adding more stress to you that can’t possibly be a benefit. But in your case, it works. I suspect that in a lot of cases, for a lot of people, it will work as well. It’ll be a benefit to them to go out and help other people.

Aaron Quinonez    18:46    yeah.

Scott DeLuzio:    18:46    I’m not an expert on this subject, but I would suspect that you find a purpose or meaning in that work that you’re doing to help those people and that’s something that I think is especially important these days where a lot of us are doing the isolation thing with the Corona virus that’s going on. And I imagine that a lot of people are probably struggling right now with their mental health now that we’re a week and a half, two weeks into it, whatever it is. People who normally are getting out and actively serving other people, whether it’s in their job, maybe law enforcement, that’s a way of serving people, military or other things that they’re doing.

Scott DeLuzio:    19:39    People are probably starting to struggle a little bit in that service aspect because they’re stuck at home or they’re not out volunteering the way they normally would be perhaps. So, what do you think it is about the aspect of that service that Mother Theresa effect, if you will? What is it about that that changes people, that helps people find that sense of meaning and purpose and help them with their own mental health?

Aaron Quinonez    20:13     I go back to looking at the life of Jesus. He came not as a ruler, to command over people, but as a servant. And you see that throughout his ministry, He’s serving other people. I mean, he’s washing the disciple’s feet. He’s helping the woman at the well get water. He’s helping people by releasing their demons and healing people. His whole ministry is serving other people. That’s what he came here to teach all of us. You know, and it’s funny because the Pharisees and Sadducees, who were the religious leaders at the time, they would come and they would mock Jesus and they would try and trick him into speaking blasphemy and things like that. And so, he was at the temple and he was teaching and the Pharisees came up and they said, okay, teacher

Aaron Quinonez    21:00    and they said that in a mocking way. They said, which is the greatest commandment? And He knows that they’re trying to trick him and that if He says that one is greater than the other, that it would be considered blasphemy. So, He says, well, there are two. The first is to love your God with all your heart, mind, body, and soul. And the other is to love others as you love yourself, you’ve done this, then you fulfill the laws of God. And so it just totally turned them on their head. So we’re to love God and to love other people. And if we’re going to love other people, we have to serve them. We have to help them. We have to invest in them. And so, serving other people, it doesn’t have to be some brand-new thing of going to Africa and digging a well for a village.

Aaron Quinonez    21:43    That’s great and that’s what I do. But service really starts at home and so people see me out there and they think, “Oh, it must be nice. He gets to go all over these places and do all these things.” Well it costs me a lot of money. Okay. Because I spend a lot of my own money. For the first seven years, it was just me going on my own with my family and spending about 2,500 to $3,000 per person per trip. And I’ve got a family of four. So, you figure that out quick. I do three or four of those a trip. All my money is going to do these trips. So, I’ve invested in myself and in the kingdom by doing that. But to get back to what I was saying, when we serve other people, it doesn’t have to be overseas or some big grand thing.

Aaron Quinonez    22:33    It can be something small. Service starts at home. So, those first seven years, I wasn’t just going overseas. I was also serving in my church every Sunday. I was there from the time the doors open until the time the doors closed because I helped arrange the different chairs for the different services. I would clean up the bathrooms in between services. I would cook. Me and two of my buddies would cook a meal for the youth because they would have their service at night. So I was constantly serving. There were different service projects that we would go and do anytime there was a big event. I was there to help. I helped the church that I was with New Life Church, they grew fast. 3000 people right now. And so they needed a security team. So, I helped write the SOPs for the security team, offered the training because they wanted people to have some combative training and they have a couple of guys that are armed there.

Aaron Quinonez    23:30   Just because the threats of the church get crazy as we’ve seen. And so, we were way ahead of that curve years ago and I was training these guys and I still train members of their team that come to me who are new and I put them through the paces. So, I’m serving the church, I’m serving my family, I’m serving my friends. And so, service doesn’t have to be this great big thing where you fly overseas and build a house or something like that. It can be at home, it can be checking on your neighbor, it can be the elderly couple that’s next door going in and cutting their lawn. You’re serving others and there’s healing through that. And if you don’t believe me, just go try it, do it for 30 days and then come back and tell me it didn’t work.

Scott DeLuzio:    24:11    The worst thing that could happen is you made someone’s day and you find out that it didn’t work. That’s the absolute worst thing that can happen out of that whole scenario there. So, so, yeah, absolutely try it.

Aaron Quinonez    24:21    I think a lot of people think that they don’t know what God wants me to do. They ask, What should I be doing? And I say, just serve your church. It doesn’t matter. Just be working. And then when God calls you, you’ll be ready. And so, I tell people a lot, I don’t know what ministry God wants me to serve in, serve in children’s ministry? They need plenty of people. But I tell people that “look where your pain is and usually your ministry will be there also.” So, for me, my pain was dealing with mental health and PTSD and trauma. That’s where my pain was. And so, helping other people go through that process has become my ministry. And to get a little bit deeper, I’ve been homeless twice in my life.

Aaron Quinonez    25:06    I was homeless as a kid when I was 12 and then again coming out of the military. So I’ve been homeless twice. So, that first mission trip to go and build homes for a homeless family, I did not want to do that because it touched on too many sore spots for me personally. But since I’ve been doing that, I’ve been able to overcome that. And now I find joy in that work. I find joy in building homes for the homeless. And so, I love the book of James chapter 1 verse 2. It says, “count it all joy” and he’s talking about the next verse is “count it all joy brothers when you fall into various trials because the trials, produced persistence of your faith.”  And so that’s me to a T, I must find joy in the trials that I’ve been through because now I can lead other people to that healing as well. But if I just shy away from it, if I just turn away and not work on those things, then I’m missing an opportunity to lead others out of that darkness as well.

Scott DeLuzio:    26:13    That’s a great explanation. I think that that can help clear things up too, for people who are struggling with how is helping somebody else going to help me? How do I justify that? How do I rationalize it? Make sense of all that stuff. So, that was a good explanation of how that service can help. One other thing, switching gears a little bit here. So, my brother was killed in Afghanistan in 2010 and I was in country at the same time, we were just in different locations. But that night, after I found out he was killed, I was in the shower by myself and I remember just saying out loud his name. I was like, why?

Scott DeLuzio:    27:01    You know, why Steve? Why?  I obviously wasn’t talking to him because you know, he was dead. But I was talking to God.  I know that after my tour in Afghanistan, I had a lot of questions for God.  I had a few good long talks about some of the stuff that had happened and things like, why do good people like my brother die? Or, why were we forced into situations where we had to make these morally difficult decisions. Things like that. And I discovered that God doesn’t promise us a perfect life that’s free from hardships. There’s going to be heartbreak, there’s going to be grief, there’s going to be pain.

Scott DeLuzio:    27:43    God doesn’t shield us from all of that stuff, but if you believe in his plan and what he has planned out for us, through that faith, you’ll see that he uses those things to steer the ship in a way, if you want to use that kind of analogy, to get you to move in the direction that he wants you to go. And to me it was an extremely powerful thing to realize; that was my own revelation moment where I realized that God isn’t going to make life all rainbows and unicorns and make everything perfect. And the way we see perfect, I think that’s an important distinction too. We have our view of a perfect life where everyone is healthy and happy and things just run like a well-oiled machine.

Scott DeLuzio:    28:35    But that’s not necessarily God’s view of perfection. And sometimes that well-oiled machine is heading in the wrong direction. And so sometimes that machine needs to be course corrected. And sometimes that requires a traumatic event or something to happen to move you in the right direction now. Leading up to the next question that I had for you, what are some of the “success stories” that you can share with us? So, if people who maybe have had their own light bulb moments where they realize, wow, this is something that I needed that I was missing in my life. Maybe it was that they were in a bad place who came to your organization and came out the other side, a stronger person or maybe a better version of themselves, something like that. What are some of those success stories, if you could share any of that?

Aaron Quinonez    29:42    There are a lot of those that have come out of a Q Missions in the work that we’ve been doing. We’ve been doing this now going into our fifth year or serving veterans. I just want to take a moment and say thank you for sharing that with us, with the audience. I don’t know if you shared it with them before but thank you for sharing it with me. It’s tough to do that, so, I appreciate your vulnerability there.

Scott DeLuzio:    30:07    Yeah, absolutely. Yeah, that’s one of the things I like to do is to stay vulnerable in that sense and like share some of the deeper, darker kind of things that have gone on and let people know that it’s okay to talk about these things publicly on a podcast, I’m not saying everyone needs to go out and buy a microphone and put it out there for the world to hear. But it’s okay to share these things in confidence in a place where you can talk to a counselor maybe or to somebody who can listen, so that’s one of the reasons why I feel like I need to share some of these things is so that other people know that it’s okay to do it.

Aaron Quinonez    30:47    I agree with you 100%. And I was held back for many years because I was choosing not to do that. I wanted to keep my testimony private and not be the guy out front in the organization. I wanted to be the guy in the back lifting other people up. But what God showed me is that I must lead from the front. I’ve got to be out front and tell people about these things and my struggles. And my testimony will be the roadmap that will help other people find their way out of darkness. And so, what I tell people is that whatever’s in the dark, whatever’s in the darkness that you’re trying to hide or keep hidden, if you bring it to the light, the darkness has to flee because dark and light, they literally cannot occupy the same space.

Aaron Quinonez    31:29    I mean, you turn on a light switch and the darkness is gone, it’s gone. But when you bring out those things in your painful and bring them to the light, the darkness must flee like it’s gone. And it relieves that burden. So, you must do it in a safe way with people who are going to support you. But bringing those things out is so important. So, before I get into the success stories, and I have one for you that I’ll tell you, I wanted to go back to James. And so, I wrote about this in a book and so I wrote about this. It says, count it all joy. James 1:2 count to check over one by one to determine it. The direct representation of the trial. All, the whole collective, every experience and joy and emotion of great delight and happiness.

Aaron Quinonez    32:16    Why does James tell us to count it all joy fall into various trials? He explains it in the next two verses. Well, you know that the testing of your faith produces steadfastness and let steadfastness habits will affect that you may be perfect and complete, lacking nothing. James 3,4, James is telling us that when we change mindset to find joy during our trials, we are purifying our faith to perfection. Verse 12, he continues this when he says, unless it is the man who remains steadfast under trial where he has stood the test and will receive the crown of life, which God promises to those who love them. And so, when we go through those trials and we go through those painful moments in our life, that’s the testing of our faith. If we remain steadfast in our faith, they will receive the crown of life, right?

Aaron Quinonez    33:17    We can use that as a tool to help other people struggling with a similar thing. And I wrote a whole chapter on that in my book, which people can read, but that’s just a short little synopsis of what happens when we find joy in the trial that we experienced. So, I just wanted to touch base on that quick before you moved on. So success stories. Yes. I have lots of success stories. One of my favorite ones to talk about is Patrick Wright. And so, Patrick, is my best friend and we joined the Marine Corps together through the buddy system. So we graduated in 1997 and we had another buddy graduate with us at the same time, Brian Bertram, but he didn’t go to bootcamp with us. He went to college. And it was a year later, I think I was home on leave or something like that.

Aaron Quinonez    34:10    He was really struggling in college, he was asking me what are you doing? How are things going for you? Doing great man, the Marine Corps is fantastic. And so, I talked to him and recruited him into the Marine Corps. And then, he became a Marine. He became a navigator on a C130. And then I asked him, he ended up serving under me for about four months. We worked together and then he went off and did another few stations. And in 2002, he was killed when his aircraft went down on the border of Afghanistan. And man, I had some serious guilt over that because I’m the guy who talked him into going into the Marine Corps; it just broke me up for a long time. So, on Memorial day I was sitting at a bar and drinking beer, and think about Brian.

Aaron Quinonez    35:04    You know what I mean? That’s what I would do. And, when I built that first house in Mexico, God showed me that there’s a better way to honor the men and women who didn’t come back, and that’s to serve others in life as they served us in death. And so, it totally changed my concept of Memorial day is that I know that the guys that I have served with who didn’t come back, they wouldn’t want me bellied up to a bar sitting there crying in a beer. They would want me out there helping people because that’s what they were doing when they died. They weren’t sitting there bellied up to a bar. They were out there working and helping people making the world a better place. And so that’s what I want to truly honor the memory. That’s what I need.

Aaron Quinonez    35:45    And so that was the catalyst that started my mission work. And so every year I would go back and I would build with my church a home for a homeless family. And it was my quiet way of honoring Brian. And so, when God called me to start Q Missions and start leading other veterans on the mission field to find the same healing I did, at first, I was like, no way. I’m not interested in that. That’s a lot of work. I’ve already done a startup company and so I’m not interested, but again, through a series of events, I ended up leading my first trip down to Mexico and I start the guys exactly where I started, which is in Mexico, building a home for a homeless man. And after that first trip I was like, wow, this actually works.

Aaron Quinonez    36:33    I’m seeing these guys come alive. All right. So, I started to formalize the programs.  I can’t just take these guys. I must start teaching them something. So, six months later, I took my next trip, but I had written a little field manual for them and I started training them and I grabbed Pat, because he’s one of my buddies, “Hey, you got to come with me man.” He’s like, “I’m not into that.” I’m like, “I don’t care. We’re buddies. Like you’re coming just because we’re friends.”  This is something that I don’t promote it online or anything like that but I’ll tell you guys here for everybody who’s listening is that every home that we build in Mexico, we build in honor of one of our fallen brothers.

Aaron Quinonez    37:13    Every home is built in honor of a fallen hero. And, we bring members of the family with us to be part of the build. And so, I did that first trip, but the first real trip where I was teaching PTSD, I had a formalized program going. I got to build this house for Brian, like officially. And so, the hardest thing I did was to go to his family and ask them to come with me, it was hard, man. I remember I was so nervous. So, I wrote his parents a letter, Patty in Bruce, and wrote them a letter just saying, “Hey, I don’t know if you guys remember me, but could I talk to you guys?” And they called me because I left my phone number, they called and so I talked to them for a little bit and then I drove down to COOs Bay, Oregon.

Aaron Quinonez    38:05    And, I was so nervous, shaking like a leaf going, I hadn’t seen them since the funeral, I walk in and they were so gracious and so happy to see me. I told them what I wanted to do and I wanted to build in honor of Brian and can you guys come with me? They said, “we’ll think about it. We’re pretty old, you know, we’ll think about it.” And they prayed on it. And not only did they come, but I want to say it was like six members of their family came with us as well. They got to work side by side with all these veterans. And so, the only people who knew Brian were me and Pat, the rest of these guys were just veterans from all over the country. But they came to go through that program and build in honor of Brian.

Aaron Quinonez    38:48    And so when I run the trip, I run it just like a military operation. So, I have squad leaders that oversee a group of guys and we break everybody into squads. There’s a painting squad, framing squad, roofing squad. And so the squad leaders know what they need to do. And so they just command their squads and it just runs like that. We have formations in the morning, do a head count, check on everybody. We do debrief at the end. So, I check a quasi-military operation the way that I run it because I’m showing guys that the stuff they learned in the military, those battle tactics, we can use that to overcome PTSD. It’s part of the program. And so, Pat went through that first mission with me and he was hooked. Like he’s like, this is amazing.

Aaron Quinonez    39:31    I had no idea how this would work. And so, he went back home and started helping other people do repairs on their house, like roofing, repairs, to help older veterans. And so we helped him. He worked under my organization for a while until we could get him to the point where he could start his own 501c3 and now he’s a registered 501c3 called Operation Rebuild Hope out of COOs Bay, Oregon. And he started out just helping people do repairs on their house, doing repairs in their bathrooms, fixing electrical, building ramps, doing roofing. And so, he didn’t have all the expertise, but we showed him how to go find those experts out in the community who were veterans. So, there’s a veteran electric company called Reese electric and they partner with Pat and they go help him help veterans.

Aaron Quinonez    40:22    And so other construction guys that were in the military that now have a skill set that can help Pat do things. And so, he started doing all that stuff and then he started getting into not just doing repairs on people’s houses, but housing homeless veterans. And so that’s what he’s been doing for the last two years is housing homeless veterans. And he is doing such an amazing job at it. It’s awesome to watch him. He’s doing such a good job that Orca, which is Oregon’s department of human services, they partnered with him and they helped them with a couple of apartment complexes that they own but they asked him to run it because now he’s doing a better job at housing homeless veterans than they are. So they just empowered him to go into the community and do what he does best.

Aaron Quinonez    41:10    And the guy comes every single year with me to Mexico and he’s also been to Cambodia with me working on projects there. He’s been there a couple times and so, that guy is doing an amazing job helping other veterans get out of homelessness. And it’s cool because I have a buddy that I was friends with in ANGLICO who was homeless and I don’t work in that space.  I helped with mental health, but I don’t really do much with homeless veterans, but Pat does. So, I got those two connected and Pat was able to help him get into transitional housing. Get his VA benefits and now helping them find work. So it’s really cool to watch Pat take that healing through service model and go and live it out in his community.

Aaron Quinonez    42:03    And so we help with it all the time. If he has an event, I’ll come down and I’ll speak for him or we’ll write letters of support or we let him use us as validation for the program that he’s running. We’re partnered with Q missions up in Seattle. And so, people recognize that and so it just adds credibility to what he’s doing. Veterans are so amazing. You just light him on fire and set him loose and they will burn down.

Scott DeLuzio: You give them a mission and they will figure out a way to get it done.  It’s amazing to see, once again, it’s an action.

Scott DeLuzio:    42:39    That’s a great story of someone who was a little bit hesitant maybe of going in and trying out the service and seeing what came out of it on the other end. And, like I said, the worst possible outcome is you try it and it doesn’t really work for you and it doesn’t move the needle or anything like that. But in this case, that’s totally not what happened at all. So, that’s really awesome to hear that side of the story and see how that’s worked for somebody who is a little hesitant and not totally bought into the whole concept of it right off the bat, but then turned around throughout the whole process, so, that’s awesome.

Aaron Quinonez    43:32    Oh, yeah. It’s been amazing. And there’s a lot of other stories like that. I have a female veteran, Jessica Bergen’s who was helping people with mobility issues be able to raise funds to get the prosthetics or the mobility equipment that they needed. She had this one guy who was a quadriplegic from birth and so he had a wheelchair but he needed a better motorized one that could do off road. And we’re in the Northwest, right? You need an off-road style wheelchair here to just be able to get around and do normal stuff. And so, it is like $50,000, I think for this machine. And so she helped raise money and her idea was, Hey, Aaron, you’re your airborne, right? I was like, yeah. She’s like, so what do you think about this?

Aaron Quinonez    44:21    What do you think if we do a fundraiser where people pay money to watch Kevin jump out of an airplane parachute. It sounds awesome. So, she got a bunch of other guys together who are like, yeah, let’s do it. They were on King 5 doing a fundraiser, for a guy in a wheelchair, and their fundraising idea was pushing him out of an airplane. That was amazing. They raised the money they needed for the wheelchair. And your idea to raise money is we’re going to pay money to watch you push him out of an airplane. I’ll pay to see that; something like that. It doesn’t have to be some grand thing. Just small things like that. She had such an impact in that guy’s quality of life and his family’s quality of life. Now they can go to the beach, they can go hiking, they can do these things, go to the Lake and the whole family is impacted by what you did, not just the individual. So there’s hundreds of stories. I could spend two hours telling stories like that.

Scott DeLuzio:    45:32    That’s great. It’s good to know that there are those super success stories too, and that people are really impacted by the service and how it helps them find that purpose and their own special mission in life to help other people. We talked a little bit about this before we started recording and you briefly mentioned it earlier in the episode too, but you do have a book coming out in a little bit called Healing Through Service. I imagine it’s probably a little bit about what we talked about already on this episode. Tell us a little bit about the book, what it’s about and then when and where people can buy it. I know it’s not out yet as of today, which is March 25th, but it’s coming out in a few weeks, right?

Aaron Quinonez    46:34    So you can preorder it right now through Redemption Press. If you just Google Healing Through Service, at Redemption Press, it’ll pop up and you can preorder it there. I think it’s like $14 if you buy it on Amazon or retailers, I’m charging $22 for it, but a portion of the proceeds go directly to Q missions to help other veterans go through the program. So, the book, like I said before, I had written just a self-published, a little manual it is thin, little manual maybe 75 pages, something like that, just to help guys understand what we were going through. So, when we go I teach classes when we’re there to give guys some additional skills that they can take home with them. And so, it also helps them process through the experience that they’re having.

Aaron Quinonez    47:27    So I was self publishing that book and just gave it out to the guys and they’d come on mission. Last year I had this crusty old Vietnam veteran walk into my office. So, I have an office in downtown Auburn. And my janitorial company is there, but two thirds of the building I use for Q missions. My company pays the rent for the whole thing, but most of it gets used for the organization. So, he comes walking in and he read about some of the stuff that we were doing and saw some news articles, stories that had happened. So, he came in wanting to talk to me and said, have you ever thought about writing a book about what you’re doing? I said, I already have a book, a pamphlet.

Aaron Quinonez    48:14    I give it to guys and I know it helps. He’s like, no, no, no, like an actual real chapter book. He said, “I’m part of a Point Man Ministries.” And so, point man ministries was a Vietnam veteran who came out and then started helping veterans overcome trauma using scripture. And so he started a whole organization. He was part of that organization. It’s small now and it’s kind of died out. It didn’t have the longevity, but it worked a lot for the time it was there and it helped a lot of guys. And so, here’s this guy showing up on my doorstep, telling me that he knows the publisher that published that book for point man ministries and said that I needed to talk to her and write a proper book. And I said, “alright, I’ll take that under advisement.”

Aaron Quinonez    49:03    But I have a lot of stuff going on, so when I get around to it, I’ll do that. But this dude would not leave me alone. He kept showing up. He would show up once a month and say, “Hey, have you reached out to redemption press? Have you talked to her, not me?” I’m busy. He kept coming back. I’m not kidding you. This dude showed up at my church. He showed up at my church and he’s in the lobby and he’s looking for me. And so, people are saying, “Hey, there’s this old Vietnam vet. He’s out there and looking for Sergeant Q.” I’m like, Oh cool, I’ll go beat him. Because people show up like that and this is what is happening right now.

Aaron Quinonez    49:46    I was shocked. He’s like, Hey, I just talked to Gina and you still haven’t started that book and it’s important that you get this message out there. You can help a lot more people if you publish this book. And a lot more people will have access to this information and this knowledge and then they can, from there they learn about your program, and then they can go through the program. And I was like, all right man, this dude is serious. He tracked me down. So I started writing the book. I just took that little book that I had and I added more stories to it and a lot of the classes that I was teaching, I just took that information and directly put it into the book. So, I wrote it like five paragraph of orders.

Aaron Quinonez    50:27    So it’s very easy. Every chapter’s the same. You have the personal recon, which is like a personal story from my life about the point that I’m making. Then you’ll have the field Intel, which is what science says about it, where does the research say about the subject? Then I have the scriptural unpack, what does the Bible say about that subject? Then I have a tactical application, how to take what you just learned and apply it right now in your life today. And then the last part is a conclusion, which is usually another story, like a success story of the culmination of that chapter. So, every chapter is the same layout. So, it’s some structure there that the military guys are used to.  And so, that’s the book. It’s called Healing Through Service, the Warrior’s guidebook to overcoming trauma.

Aaron Quinonez    51:16    I just got one very first copy of it. There it is the very first copy; it came in yesterday and so I’ve got to proof it and make sure everything’s okay. And it should be out first week of April but people can preorder it now. It’s cheaper once it’s out online then it’ll be $22, and then a part of the proceeds will go into taking guys on missions. So, when you read the book, whether you’re a civilian or military, it doesn’t matter because trauma is trauma, right? Everybody experiences trauma differently, but the result is always going to be the same. The hypervigilant, the anxiety, the depression, the suicidal ideations, all has the same result, whether it was a civilian trauma or a military trauma, we all experience it differently, but the result is going to be the same.

Aaron Quinonez    52:08    So when I wrote a book, there was a lot of terminology directed toward veterans and active duty, but I do my best to explain it in a way that civilians will be able to understand the concepts and be able to put them in place as well. And I’ve been working with several civilians that are dealing with trauma, who God has brought into my life and they say things like, I know this is not the same kind of trauma. And I don’t think I have PTSD, but I’m dealing with this and that sounds a lot like how you help veterans. So can this stuff help? So, I have been teaching them out of the book as well and they’ve had great results. So, in the book, very deep in the pages and you’ll have to find it and you should read it.

Aaron Quinonez    52:50    There’s a pathway for people to go on mission with us. And so, as they read through the book, there’s a section in there which gives them instructions if they want to go on mission, they can do that and how they do it. So that way, whether it’s civilian or military, so those trips will be different. We’ll have a separate civilian trip than the military. We’ll go on a military trip because the veteran’s trips are highly subsidized by all the fundraising that I do. Normally it costs about two grand to take guys down and go through this program. But with the fundraising that I do, it only costs the veteran $500, which is basically just the cost of their plane ticket. And just to be totally clear and transparent, nobody in Q Missions receives a paycheck. Not even me. There’s no paid staff. It’s 100% volunteer. If people do donate, the money goes directly to these programs to help guys overcome PTSD. So, you can check us out on GuideStar. You can ask people about us. There’s no paid staff, it’s not like Wounded Warrior Project, big lavish parties, blown all kinds of donor money on stupid stuff. We don’t do that.

Scott DeLuzio:    54:08    I’m glad you brought up the donation aspect because as a nonprofit, a lot of your funding is coming from donations and things like that. If people would like to donate, where can they go to find out about how to make a donation to Q missions? Is it just by visiting your website, or where can they go to donate?

Aaron Quinonez    54:34    Yeah, the website’s the easiest way. It gives you a couple of different options there. You can donate online. There’s a place where you can send a check if you’re old school and you want to do it that way. So, either way that’s the best way to donate. We do a lot of fundraisers throughout the year. We do a firework stand. We have a benefits dinner. So, if you guys are local in the Pacific Northwest and you want to attend any of those events, hit us up on our email, info@ QMissions.org or visit our website. Contact us through there and we can get you connected to some of those other opportunities to volunteer or to donate. I’m really big, since I’m a business owner, I’m really big into getting corporate donations.

Aaron Quinonez    55:19    And so that’s my niche to work with the different businesses. I’m a business owner and most of our profits go directly into helping Q missions. And so, not trying to be braggadocious here, but I put my money where my mouth is and still to this day, I’m the largest donor to the organization, so hopefully somebody surpasses me someday. But for right now, me and my company, we’re the largest donors to the organization. I’m not asking people to do something that I’m not doing myself. And I love it. I love what my pastor says. He says, “when it comes to missions work, only two options, you can go or you can write a check.” That’s what I’m going to challenge all you guys out there who are business owners who are hearing this either come on a mission with me or write a check so other guys can do it. So that’s my challenge, I guess to the audience to check it out.

Scott DeLuzio:    56:14    And that’s Qmissions.org where you can go and make a tax-deductible donation to Q missions, and help some veterans go in and heal through the service that they’ll be doing. So, this was amazing information that you had to share. Thank you very much for joining us today, sharing these stories of the healing process that people have gone through. I really appreciate the time that you’ve had with us.

Aaron Quinonez    56:52    Hey, thanks for having me on. It’s been great. I’d love to be able to come back and talk to you just specifically about operation pop smokes the suicide prevention tool that we created. I don’t want to get into too much of it here just because you have given the audience a lot to digest already, but I just want to throw that out there. If you’re interested in finding out, it’s a first aid tool to help prevent suicide. So, you can look at operationpopsmoke.com. There’s some great information there about what the app does. You can download it on the app store and you can also look us up on YouTube and there’s some great videos on YouTube that explain what the app does and how it works. It’s all based on military battle tactics, coupled with emerging technology to create the very first first aid tool for suicide prevention. So, it works like the Heimlich maneuver, CPR and the AED system where it puts the power to save a life in the hands of the person closest to them.

Scott DeLuzio:    57:56    That’s amazing. And I’m glad you brought that up because I had it in my notes that I wanted to mention that but it slipped down in my notes. So, we’ll try to get you back on to talk about that and how that works and how that can be beneficial to people in these types of situations. So, again, thank you for not only joining us today, but all the work that you do helping veterans. It’s an important mission that you have. If no one’s told you this yet, you should feel good about the work that you’re doing. And I really appreciate all the work that you’re doing. So, thank you. Thank you again.

Aaron Quinonez    58:40  So I have one parting question for you, and it’s a challenge, I guess. I would just invite you to come with us on operations to restore hope to experience this firsthand and then you’ll be able to give a firsthand account to your audience on the program

Scott DeLuzio:    58:57    That would be something that would be interesting to do a firsthand report back on what the organization’s about and what the whole process is like. I’m sure some people sitting there might have a little bit of a gray area in terms of is this for me, is this for me? But, getting an objective third party view might be something interesting. So, I might take you up on that challenge at some point. So, maybe after all this coronavirus travel stuff passes for us. So, anyways, thanks again. Thanks again for joining us and we’ll have you back on and maybe we’ll talk again about seeing how we can get this type of trip going. Awesome. All right. Thanks again man. I appreciate it.

Scott DeLuzio:    00:00    Thanks for listening to the Drive On Podcast. If you want to check out more episodes or learn more about the show, you can visit our website, Drive On Podcast.com we’re on Facebook, Twitter, and Instagram at DriveOnPodcast.

]]> 01:00:21 <![CDATA[Leave No Marriage Behind]]> Tue, 14 Apr 2020 01:00:00 +0000 Scott DeLuzio https://drive-on-podcast.castos.com/podcasts/2296/episodes/leave-no-marriage-behind Daniel Faust from Learn & Live talks about helping veterans thrive at home, at work, and everywhere in between. Daniel knows how military families struggle with all the typical issues of marriage and relationships on top of the stresses that comes from military life. Using his own experiences he’s helped military families exploit their unique strengths, which can help repair what has been broken in their relationships.

Links & Resources

Transcript Expand

Scott DeLuzio:    00:03    Thanks for tuning in to the Drive On Podcast where we talk about issues affecting veterans after they get out of the military. Before we get started, I’d like to ask a favor if you haven’t done so already, please rate and review the show on Apple podcasts. If you’ve already done that. Thank you. These ratings help the show get discovered so it can reach a wider audience. And while you’re there, click the subscribe button so that you get notified of new episodes as soon as they come out. If you don’t use Apple podcasts, you can visit DriveOnPodcast.com/subscribe to find other ways of subscribing, including our emails. I’m your host, Scott DeLuzio. And now let’s get on with the show.

Scott DeLuzio:    00:44    Hey everyone. Today my guest is Daniel Faust. He has served 17 years in the US Air Force and is now a relationship consultant with Learn and Live. In this role, he helps veteran couples create thriving and passionate marriages. So Daniel, welcome to the show. Why don’t you tell us a little bit about yourself and what you do?

Daniel Faust:    01:04    Yeah. So, I was active duty 12 years and I have now been in reserves for 8, so the website is a little outdated. So, that just reminds me that the website needs to be updated. When I got married in 2006, I just totally botched up my marriage and I was like on a deployment, wrestling with a divorce while my son was going to be born a few months later. And I realized I really need to go over and fix myself in that particular regard. So I got a revelation to go over and teach the world better relationships. And from there I was like off, and my wife said slow now and you must have a plan. And I’m like, Oh, okay. So three more kids and four more deployments. And about six years later we transformed out of the service.

Daniel Faust:    01:55    I won’t say transition because that is like a personal cuss word to me. We transformed out of service and went towards the civilian world. Oh, that sucked a lot. And, we almost went homeless during that time and we just learned we need to go over and really get our marriage on board. It wasn’t until 2013 because 2006-2007 was the application of learning how to thrive in marriage. 2013 was actually living it out. We were just living and learning instead of learning and living. And that’s when I got spiritually kicked in the nuts that day in 2013. And it was like, all right, I really need to revamp my marriage and treat it almost like we treat a deployment. We need to prepare and we need to get tasked and we need to get trained to go over and go.

Daniel Faust:    02:46    And in marriages we just tend to jump in and are like, Hey, sex will solve everything. Sure, it will. Well, it really doesn’t. It’s great. Like from two months to two years, that’s the average...

]]> full 46 false Daniel Faust from Learn & Live talks about helping veterans thrive at home, at work, and everywhere in between. Daniel knows how military families struggle with all the typical issues of marriage and relationships on top of the stresses that comes from military life. Using his own experiences he’s helped military families exploit their unique strengths, which can help repair what has been broken in their relationships.

Links & Resources

Transcript Expand

Scott DeLuzio:    00:03    Thanks for tuning in to the Drive On Podcast where we talk about issues affecting veterans after they get out of the military. Before we get started, I’d like to ask a favor if you haven’t done so already, please rate and review the show on Apple podcasts. If you’ve already done that. Thank you. These ratings help the show get discovered so it can reach a wider audience. And while you’re there, click the subscribe button so that you get notified of new episodes as soon as they come out. If you don’t use Apple podcasts, you can visit DriveOnPodcast.com/subscribe to find other ways of subscribing, including our emails. I’m your host, Scott DeLuzio. And now let’s get on with the show.

Scott DeLuzio:    00:44    Hey everyone. Today my guest is Daniel Faust. He has served 17 years in the US Air Force and is now a relationship consultant with Learn and Live. In this role, he helps veteran couples create thriving and passionate marriages. So Daniel, welcome to the show. Why don’t you tell us a little bit about yourself and what you do?

Daniel Faust:    01:04    Yeah. So, I was active duty 12 years and I have now been in reserves for 8, so the website is a little outdated. So, that just reminds me that the website needs to be updated. When I got married in 2006, I just totally botched up my marriage and I was like on a deployment, wrestling with a divorce while my son was going to be born a few months later. And I realized I really need to go over and fix myself in that particular regard. So I got a revelation to go over and teach the world better relationships. And from there I was like off, and my wife said slow now and you must have a plan. And I’m like, Oh, okay. So three more kids and four more deployments. And about six years later we transformed out of the service.

Daniel Faust:    01:55    I won’t say transition because that is like a personal cuss word to me. We transformed out of service and went towards the civilian world. Oh, that sucked a lot. And, we almost went homeless during that time and we just learned we need to go over and really get our marriage on board. It wasn’t until 2013 because 2006-2007 was the application of learning how to thrive in marriage. 2013 was actually living it out. We were just living and learning instead of learning and living. And that’s when I got spiritually kicked in the nuts that day in 2013. And it was like, all right, I really need to revamp my marriage and treat it almost like we treat a deployment. We need to prepare and we need to get tasked and we need to get trained to go over and go.

Daniel Faust:    02:46    And in marriages we just tend to jump in and are like, Hey, sex will solve everything. Sure, it will. Well, it really doesn’t. It’s great. Like from two months to two years, that’s the average. And then you go over and like, they don’t brush their teeth the way I want them to, or whatever, stupid idiosyncrasies you get into and then we drive a bigger and bigger wedge. For me, I had to learn, it’s like I needed to change myself. I need to stop being so verbally toxic. I needed to go over and to work through my past junk so I could have a present good marriage and a better future marriage. So, I started getting my doctorate degree and my spouse and getting my bachelor’s degree into my kids and getting an associate’s degree with the coworkers and the people that I worked with. It wasn’t instantaneous.

Daniel Faust:    03:30    It wasn’t like 2013, boom set and done. It’s been the recent of a past 18 to 24 months now. I’ve seen of all the work I’ve done and now the application of it. So we wanted to take that to the world and go over and say, Hey, instead of living and learning in your marriage and in your family and in your leadership and when you get out of the service, you hope that you survive. We want you to go thrive in your marriage and your family relationships to go over and to connect with us, so we can teach you that transformation process. And that’s the first part of the transformation process that we teach is that you’re not living and learning anymore. You’re learning and living. Just like when you go getting ready for deployment and going on a PCS and everything else, we are going to give you the tools, the strategies, the techniques to how to grow and thrive in your marriage.

Daniel Faust:    04:17    And the great part with us is that you can still work in tandem with other people because we’re consultants. So that’s us in a nutshell, that we help you have a great present to have a better future. And if there’s anything else that’s surrounding that, then you can still hook up with counselors and pastors and other people. So, we are a conduit to get you to the resources, we help you with communication, intimacy, and then everything else. Then we connect you with those resources. Our goal is not to replicate the process where our goal is to be a conduit to the process of your thriving.

Scott DeLuzio:    04:51    Awesome. So, I know a lot of military members, just by the nature of the job, it’s a stressful job, and a lot of times people bring that stress that they have from the job, they bring it home. They have a lot of different issues regarding their marriage and relationships in general, not just marriage. What are some of the common issues that you’ve seen with the military members and veteran couples that they face in their marriage?  What are some of the more common things?

Daniel Faust:    05:25    I would say the most common things is, and I’m not trying to dime on anybody but guys more than girls, typically we are not social, we don’t talk things out. We do things shoulder to shoulder. We kind of wait until everything explodes and then we deal with it. We don’t do that when we go plan our workdays. We want our workdays to be systematic, we want things to go over and flow. Chaos can happen on the war front and then we deal with it and we tend to respond. But when we get home we tend to hoard and then we react. And I would say that’s the first thing is that we put the focus in the wrong place from four to 20 years or 30 years you’ll be in the service.

Daniel Faust:    06:08    Well, the thing is, is that your spouse is supposed to be a partner for the lifetime. So ranging from a few moments, depending on how long you live, until 80 years, that’s at least the goal for me. I want to be dead at 105 just so you know. So my wife already knows this. I’m ready to go to Jesus at that point I’m like, no, I’m too good now. We want you to thrive to that point so you can finish the race well.  And we do it the exact opposite. So that’s the first thing I go over and see is that we focus on the relationships backwards, totally backwards. I’ll invest in more into you as a coworker, which you could PCS in like 10 seconds or if I’m at a work site, I can interact you for like three days to a week.

Daniel Faust:    06:50    But the spouse I’m supposed to be with every single day I’m sleeping eight to 10 hours a day in the same bedroom, interacting two to four hours a day after work and I put more effort into that coworker that I might see 15 minutes. That’s the first thing I see that is screwed up. And that’s where we want to rewrite the script is first you need to invest into the people that are most connected to you, the most proximity. And that’s how you thrive. Because if you’re married, your kids are doing fantastic, then it’s easy to outpour into your workflow because you already have that motivation inside you and then you have that support behind you when those chaos days come up, deployments, op orders, long hard days, exercises, or if you’re in the civilian world and you have to work that hourly grind or you’re an entrepreneur or a vetpreneur, that’s where we want you to be.

Daniel Faust:    07:41    Invest in the right places. And that’s where I see most of the problems is that they invest in there and then this is what happens afterwards. So, let’s say I don’t, and I do the standard typical, I invest into all my work, my wife typically or your wife or whoever, because this is what typically happens. The wife is at the home front, you’re at the Warfront, you’re both facing back to back. It works good for a while, but then that starts driving a wedge so you get more and then you might find your work wife or your work husband depending on what veteran’s status it is. And then you start getting connecting with them and then it just drives a wedge or vice versa. The spouse at home goes over and takes care of the kids in the front and then they connect to people in the community and once you have that emotional, spiritual, sexual wedge in there, it just takes a matter of time for it to wedge in there.

Daniel Faust:    08:31    And you will either go through an emotional divorce first and then a physical divorce or sometimes it comes into sexual altercations and adultery and whatnot and walks in there and it all starts just there slowly. It’s that wedge drive slowly when you don’t invest that time, when you don’t invest that energy. So if you invest mentally, emotionally, spiritually, and sexually, and make sure your finances are in order as best as you can, you’ll thrive. The rest of the stuff will follow suit. But if you don’t, and then that wedge drives, then that typically destroys it. And people typically wait. 61% of divorces, the last statistic I looked up, women usually pursue it, put it on the desk, because they feel they’re not mentally, emotionally, spiritually, sexually connected in the relationship. And if that’s not being at least at a satisfactory level of what they’re looking for.

Daniel Faust:    09:23    And same thing for men, they look for it too. It just not as great. Then that’s what typically happens. So that’s where I see the problems is we need to deal with it early. We don’t go deploy and say, all right, 24 hours prior, how do you fire a gun? What? You don’t go fire a gun for the first time, you practiced before going out. In a marriage, sometimes there’s a battlefield out there because monogamy is hard. Well, longevity is hard. If we want it to last, we need to treat it like a Warfront and we need to prepare for it.

Scott DeLuzio:    09:56    Right. And there are times people will feel like they are putting the effort into the marriage where you’re supposed to, it’s supposed to be a team game. You know, it’s not supposed to be an individual sport, if you want to make that kind of analogy. You’re supposed to work together in a marriage. And a lot of times, what I’ve read on this topic is that a lot of times one of the two in the relationship will feel like they’re putting in more of an effort then the other person, but the other person will feel the same way. And so if you were to ask them, the two people to sit down and list maybe chores around the house, just for an example and say, what percentage do you do and ask each person separately to fill out that list almost always you’ll find that the total percentages add up to more than a hundred.

Scott DeLuzio:    10:58    So it’s never accurate. You know, most people will find that they believe that they’re putting in more of an effort than they are. Which is an interesting thing to look at, but what you were saying in terms of, practicing and putting it in the effort into the marriage. It goes into the division of what you are putting into the relationship as well.

Daniel Faust:    11:37    I would agree with that to a point. But the thing is that it’s comes from the other person. Let’s really look at the topic of sex and intimacy as a perfect example. Men and women are different. They look for different desires and whatnot. If I go over and I think missionary position and I go do this and I just go fast and furious and whatnot, that might satisfy me but that’s not going to satisfy my wife or vice versa. I must be a student of that person to sexually satisfy them well. Because I can go over and say, Hey, I worked at the house, changing subjects here, and did all these chores and everything. But is that to the person’s liking and desires? Typically? No. So if I go over and say I’m the breadwinner, I do all this work I’m on, I’m on this and everything else.

Daniel Faust:    12:22    But if I’m not investing in them and they are looking for a mental and emotional intimacy, the finances and capability in that regard, then I’m not serving that person well. I think we get a misdirect and we go in our heads and we say, I’ve done X, Y, and Z this just served well. Those social norms were good, but if they are held like idols, they’re like, this is the ultimate of what marriage is. I think that’s wrong and a lot of times we don’t sit, majority of people don’t go into premarital consulting or counseling working out through those issues, so we just grind, grind, grind. We have our thoughts in our head and then we wait until explosion day and then we don’t do that. One of the main reasons for divorce is not because of finances, is not for adultery, is not anything else.

Daniel Faust:    13:06    It’s unspoken expectations. I have expectations of you. You have expectations of me. We never really speak it out. We get into an argument about it, but we never clarify and say, Hey, here’s one of the things that I was looking for in marriage. I want to have intimacy three times a week. I don’t know if I can handle three times a week or vice versa. I am like, you go say, Hey, you want to have it three times a week. I’m like, I’m like breakfast, lunch and dinner, what are you talking about? How do we go over and love and be sacrificial and learning that and then also compromising and be sacrificing? We need to have that balance. Sometimes I’m going to have to compromise what I’m looking for in that realm and sometimes I’m going to be sacrificial in that realm to go over and serve the person.

Daniel Faust:    13:49    I think that’s a guard that we need to look at it from truly the other person’s perspective. I had to do that with my wife because I served myself and I was such a verbal con artist in those seven years of marriage that I can manipulate and make her want what I wanted out of her, but really I wasn’t letting her have her voice and have her freedom. So in that year seven spiritually getting kicked in the nuts, I’m like, dude, I am like a verbal whore. I’m just calling it straight out. That’s what it was. I wrote it in my book and that was because of my brokenness. I really truly wasn’t serving her. I was serving her for the purpose of her serving me and when everything didn’t go, then I do the verbal con artist thing and I would verbally assault her and then make her feel bad for what she didn’t go over and give me or meet this thing or emotional this or that. And it was, I truly wasn’t being a servant. I really wasn’t being a student of her either. And I think a lot of times we say what we’re doing this, but if we honestly look at it from our perspective and we take an honest lens look and allow person to be vulnerable

Daniel Faust:   14:51    to share that, then we’ll find out, maybe we’re not serving in that capacity. Maybe that’s the reason why. Once you start serving people in that capacity, they naturally want to serve back. If I went over and waxed and washed your car and did all these great things and what not, you’re going to want to know how I can go pay you back. Well, you don’t need to pay me back, but if you want to serve outside of that, that’s great. We do it in dating all the time, but once we get married, we put the marriage on the trophy thing and never dust it off. And we’d go over like, wow, what the hell is that? And distance. Oh, that’s our marriage. It’s on the mantle. I didn’t know that.

Scott DeLuzio:    15:25    Yeah, exactly.  You get back to that unspoken expectations, when, like you said, if you’re manipulating somebody to try to get them to do what you want them to do, the communication is just not there. You’re not explaining what it is that you want and making it easy for them to want to do it for you. You’re,

Scott DeLuzio:    15:53    defaulting to a manipulation standpoint and that’s not, I’ll wait to have any sort of healthy relationship, if you’re doing things like that.

Scott DeLuzio:    16:05    I know I am switching gears just a little bit here. I know when I was deployed to Afghanistan, it really was difficult to be able to speak with my wife. There wasn’t an easy access to telephones or email communication, things like that. I know a lot of times people will be deployed or maybe not even necessarily deployed but there might be away at a school for an extended period or some other kind of training and communication might be better now.  This has been almost about 10 years ago since I was deployed. But what are some of the things that deployed or otherwise separated spouses can do to help themselves not fall apart and the marriage does not fall apart when one of them is away.

Daniel Faust:    16:56    I would say number one thing doesn’t matter if you look at it from a business perspective and military perspective or a tech school or whatever it is. Number one, I orchestrate my family and this is a recommendation, not a command, so please take this, whoever’s listening recommendations. You orchestrate yourself as a one income family. You can make two incomes, but when you live on one income and the second income is supplemental, the other spouse might have the freedom, if it’s a state side TDY or if it is an overseas TDY, to visit during that in between time so you can go over and stem the sexual frustration, the communication, those types of things. Obviously, Iraq and Afghanistan, you can’t put your wife in a Conex box and go over and send her to her husband. My wife made the joke all the time. She’s like, I would stay under your bed and stuff like that and then we could have this stuff.

Daniel Faust:    17:42    I said, you would die. It’s like a coffin. Wanting to be connected, but that’s like, you know, morally wrong. But she was missing in that connection and intimacy. So if it’s all possible, if you can stem the wounds and get the person actively involved and say, like when I was down at CENTCOM headquarters in Florida, my situation was that my second child was just born, I’m away. I went there because I wanted to shorten to deployment. It was four months instead of six months. If I were to leave after my daughter was born, I’m screwed. It’s six months and I could’ve gone to Iraq. So I’m like, Hey, I’ll go four months. Sat there for about two, three weeks, asked my wife, she’s like, the spouses have not connected me, your First Sgt.’s not connecting me, the church is distant. I’m like, wait a minute, I’m getting $55 a day extra.

Daniel Faust:    18:31    I’m living in a three bedroom, two and a half bath house. I have a sexy wife with two kids stuck in a place that they don’t want to be. I flew her out. So, we went over and stayed most of the time. The first four to six weeks, it was distant. But then I did that when I went to Kuwait. Well UAE, if it would have been long enough, I you make an extra thousand dollars a month. If you’re in those state zones, let them go on vacations even connect. If it’s obviously the longer places, you know, nowadays we have video chat, Facebook, those types of things. If you’re comfortable with sexual stuff from a distance, go over and do that. They have apps and devices and whatever to keep that connection where you can. If you want to go old school, letters, that’s the way to go over and do that.

Daniel Faust:    19:16    You must find a way to keep that intimacy frequency connection. It’s not just about sex but that connection because just like our best friends when we’re deployed, we want to talk to them every day and where we’re at them 12 fricking hours a day. I’m like, want to hang out after work? I just was what your 12 hours really. If your BFF is at work and you’re doing that time, then your BFF at home, which is the ultimate BFF, we should be making that time. Even in 2006 when I was deployed and wrestling with divorce, I was talking to my wife six hours a day. They’re like, how’d the hell did you, that was a COM troop. So that’s another thing too is when you deploy, maybe network, I mean I knew ways to get around the system and to say, Hey, Oh, you get sucky phone calls, you connect with a signal or a COM guy,

Daniel Faust:    19:59    they’ll probably go home and say, Hey, call this DSN number I can get. I got unlimited calls. So I was able to call her. I was able to instant messenger, we sent letters together and even though we were struggling at that point, I was still talking to her two to six hours a day and like, you guys are like nuts. I said, yeah, maybe we are to go and help more people. I didn’t see it at the time, but you know, we must find unique ways to go and stay connected. Knowing your partner before you leave, getting that doctrine degree is going to help you. Their physical touch and words. Affirmation, putting like love notes around the house so they could find all day long, you know, all through the deployment or if they’re more into physical touch, you go over and let’s say leave a Teddy bear, with your smell or a tee shirt or something to that effect.

Daniel Faust:    20:45    If you’re having difficulty figuring that, give us a call. We do a 20 minute free chat for every veteran. First time no charge. You’re like, Hey, I’m about to deploy. Give me some quick tips and tactics. I’m like, all right, well stretch and lay them out. You don’t forget that mail is a great connector to go and do that. I used to work in the post office, that was my first deployment. You see people light up Christmas trees when they were getting real contextualized care packages from their spouses and not the USO one that they sent you and I don’t need jerky in like 30-pound bundles. Okay. I tell these companies all the time, they say that they want to send more stuff. How about you go on and connect with them before they go and ask them what they want so you’re not wasting your money.

Daniel Faust:    21:30    That’s going to show heart. That’s going to show love so that those are some of the ways and nowadays with all the frag and everything else that’s going to keep you out of the frag for a bit. If you go deploy and you’re dealing and potentially killing people and whatnot, at least you have an outside coming in to go over and stay connected with. Because when you’re just staying in there, PTSD is more than likely going to set in where you’re constantly in the trauma and you have no escape out and they saw it harder and then when you get out of there and you finally escape and come home, you don’t know how to mentally escape back into that reality. So it’s definitely key to stay connected. You must have mentally have one foot in the war, in one foot at home because your overall best front is going to be both feet back in that house and that.

Daniel Faust:    22:19    I think that’s what keeps you grounded. I worked in mental health for a couple of years and even, I’ve always seen this world as one foot in the world, one foot in my face. And it’s the same thing when we go over and deploy. I need to have one foot in the Warfront and one foot in the home front. Yes, I need to be committed. Obviously if I’m shooting people, killing people, I can’t go like I’m thinking about my baby, you know? But the overall mentality is that if I don’t start thinking in that realm, then I’ll either get too sucked into my home front, it will be good for the deployment or I’m too sucked up into the climate and then I’m going to have repercussions afterwards when I get home. That integration is key. I’m glad the army, at least nowadays, I don’t know if it’s current, but they used to send people to Germany and Hawaii before coming home so they can integrate with their spouses first.

Daniel Faust:    23:09    Okay. And that’s another thing when you get back from home and before you leave, do the mental emotional intimacy connections before you leave. You know, get away from everything. Rent a hotel, go get time, get that deep connection and have a battle rhythm when you get down there and then go over when you’re coming back. I don’t plug into anything before I get back from a deployment. In 2011 was the last one. I don’t plug into anything before I go unless the military tells me so. And it’s completely asinine to go back to work, get plugged in, go two weeks, if you can avoid it. At least get a night with your spouse away from the home, away from the laundry, away from the kids, just her. Work with those Phoenix spouses or have a team to go over and get the kids watched.

Daniel Faust:    23:58    Have the extra money so you can stay connected because that’s going to help you get back grounded. Because that’s the person that is in a sense, your home. My favorite spot is with my wife on here (pounds his chest) and that keeps me grounded. It keeps me home. I’m not much of a snuggler, but when it comes to her, I snuggle. So don’t hug me except for her. Just saying, you know, for me, don’t hug. But for her that’s one of my favorite spots and that keeps me grounded. It keeps me centered. And that’s key for us as men and for women is wherever our ground center is, we need to stay connected.

Scott DeLuzio:    24:32    Yeah, absolutely. I know earlier you mentioned how transition is a dirty word for you and it’s more of a transformation than a transition. In regards to when you get out of the military, when you come back home from a deployment and whatnot.  I never thought of it that way, the way you phrased it there, but a lot of what we’re talking about are transformations. You go from being a single person to now a married person. You go from being a service member to being a veteran who’s separated from the military. You go from someone who’s in a combat zone, who’s deployed and fighting, to someone who’s coming back state side to a more civilian type life.

Scott DeLuzio:    25:29    There’s a lot of transformations that occur and the transition and transformation, those two words, it’s interesting. If you don’t really think about the nuance between them, but when you start thinking about it, it does make sense. You are transforming and you’re becoming someone new. You used to be someone who was single and didn’t have a care in the world. You just had to care about yourself. And now you’re basically transformed into someone who must take care of somebody else when you get married. How can it be made easier to transform when you’re going through these transition periods, whether it’s getting into a new marriage, getting out of the military, all of these things are all different transition periods, but what would make it easier to get through all of that?

Daniel Faust:    26:35    Well, the first thing off is what I recommend and I don’t see most people do this is mentorship. Someone that’s already been through the transformation process on the other end or is going through it at the same time. Your wingman, your warrior buddy, whatever; you go over and call it in your service or whatever your mindset is, you need to have that person. From going over and getting into the civilian sector and looking at the job front to going over and saying, Hey, I really haven’t been a good husband when I was on active duty and I want to change that as a veteran. Now we need somebody that’s gone through those steps and get that mentorship. It doesn’t have to be a counselor that has to deal with your past. Obviously, if it’s schizophrenia, bipolar, suicide, homicide, those types of things, yes, they’re going to help you deal with your past so you can have a better present, but if your president is not doing well and you want to have a better present and a better future, you find that mentor.

Daniel Faust:    27:33    You find that consultant, you find that person that goes over and does that. Maybe it’s us from Learning Live. Maybe it’s a pastor, maybe it’s somebody else that’s gone through that transmission process. 6.8% to 8% of the population are veterans, 1% to 2% are active duty guard and reserve. There’s roughly 22 million of us that were war heroes that now are super heroes and they don’t realize it, but the thing is that we need to have that person, that wingman, that battle buddy to go over and to help us walk through that transformation process. It happens even in the nature in the kingdom. You don’t just go over and the animals have babies and it’s like up, you’re off, that’s it. You have that nurturing transformation process. We do that in parenting to a sense and then we do like the baby bird and kick them out of the nest.

Daniel Faust:    28:26    Sometimes you need to be kicked out of the nest of course, but at the end of the day, the bird always catches the baby, they won’t let it plummet down. We as soldiers tend to go over and pull up our bootstraps, we’re all great and awesome. Doesn’t matter if it’s male or female and they go pull up their bootstraps and you wonder why three to six years out, we’re struggling. We could have a job and we could have a still have a marriage and have kids, but we’re kind of floating because we did it on our own instead of living and learning and going over and pulling ourselves by bootstraps, get somebody to do it. I wish I had that and that’s why I want to be a conduit for that for people. When I got out, I went to Taps for one week.

Daniel Faust:    29:09    Yeah, that’s it. One week. They’re like, resume writing, all this other stuff. That’s just so much information. It just didn’t flow. And then I get out of the service sitting in a chair, like this, like several months later, $300, almost being homeless. I wish I had somebody that went over and said, Hey, maybe you should’ve gotten a part time job in between while growing this business, have supplemental cash. I went through what you were going through. That would have been great wisdom to me. That would have been very helpful. And that’s what I’m saying is in these transformation processes, to have somebody that’s already walked through the process. So men or ladies listening to this, if you’ve been through that process, try to see if you can find somebody to go over and to mentor.

Daniel Faust:    29:56    If you’re the person getting out of service, find somebody that can mentor you. Because a lot of times we all find out we don’t want to do it all by ourselves, but we do it anyway because we think we’re alone. If anybody’s ever gone dancing before and been in a middle school dance, everybody’s on the wall and they’re like, Oh, I want to dance, and I want to dance too. And nobody gets up and says anything. You got to be a little awkward and go over and say it. It has the older person is a quote unquote mentor and you might not know that you are one and as a mentee it might be a little awkward saying, where can I go get help? If you’re doing business, SCORE is a great mentorship program. It’s across the nation. There’s a lot of business owners and a lot of veterans in there. Sometimes they were mixed that can help you through that and it just depends on where you’re at. But don’t be scared to go home and ask for the help. And if not, then if you don’t have a resource, call us. We’ll go see where we can connect you with. It might be us, it might be somebody else, it might be an organization, it might be an individual person or it might just be the person that’s next door to you and you just didn’t know. But that’s what I recommend.

Scott DeLuzio:    31:03    Yeah, absolutely. And sometimes there’s going to be a whole wide range of people who are going to be able to help you. I guess it depends on what that transition is that you’re going through, whether it’s a job transition or it’s a relationship or anything like that. There’s a bunch of different transitions and there’s a bunch of different people who have gone through those types of things. They’ve experienced it. An important thing is a lot of them maybe have even failed at whatever it was that you’re trying to transition through. So, they can mentor you and guide you on the things not to do because they’ve already done those things and know how much they don’t work, and so they can help you not make those same mistakes and fall down that path.

Scott DeLuzio:    31:59    So it looks like we’re coming up on time here, time kind of flies while we’re having this conversation. Where can people find out more about Learn and Live and what you do if there seeking that type of counseling?

Daniel Faust:    32:16    Yeah, let me frame it again. It is consulting. So we deal with the here and now. So, if it’s the past, I know it gets confusing. That’s why we use the domain, militarymarriagecounselingaz.com, because most people psychologically only think of counseling. We explained that briefly on the website and we’re revamping it, but militarymarriagecounselingaz.com is one resource you can find us at. You can also find us on Facebook under Daniel Faust. You can also find Learn and Live on Facebook. You can find myself on LinkedIn. You can go to IG and go for a leavenomarriagebehind. You can also look for our book, Leave No Marriage Behind, which hopefully in the next three to six months we’ll have Leave No Family Behind and Leave No Veteran Behind. That’s our next two books that we’re working on.

Daniel Faust:    33:01    You can also find us in multitude of places. So, from Facebook to LinkedIn to Twitter to Instagram. I’m not on Snapchat. Just really don’t have an audience there. Do you guys want me on there? You guys are going to have to start listening to other places. We’re also starting a podcast again with Inspire News Radio. That should be up about February, March timeframe and if necessary, you can just go over and text us direct at (937) 321-0807. You’re getting directly me right now. As we grow the business, we will go over and have more war hero, the superhero consultants going over and helping. And if you have a heart to go over and do this and you want to support the war heroes transforming the superheroes, give us a shout because we do a Patrion and we support about a thousand people a month in that patrion, not at max capacity of course.

Daniel Faust:    34:00    And for every thousand people we’re going to need another war hero to superhero consultant as we go from grow. We got a Ted talk coming up, we’ve got other podcasts going up and as we grow, if you have a heart to help military marriages, families and leadership and you have those skill sets, give us a shout. We do a pretty good compensation plan. You get about 80% to take home from what the average client brings in. So if you’re looking to help us grow at the same time, you have that too. So either way, if you’re either looking for services or looking to grow that and you have a calling for it, just give a shout from one of those areas and usually getting me directly. So when you hit the instant messenger or whatever on one of those platforms being like, surreal dude. Yeah, I’m pretty authentic.

Scott DeLuzio:    34:42    No, that’s great. And I’ll put a link to all of these, your social media, your website, and everything. I’ll put the link to all of that in the show notes. If you’re looking for that and you’re driving in the car right now while you’re listening to this, don’t write it down because it will all be in the show notes. You can catch that later. Thank you again, Daniel, and I am looking forward to seeing what you do with the business and all the marriages that you help.

Daniel Faust:    35:10    All right, thank you.

Scott DeLuzio:    35:16    Thanks for listening to the Drive On Podcasts. If you want to check out more episodes or learn more about the show, you can visit our website, DriveOnPodcast.com we’re on Facebook, Twitter, and Instagram at DriveOnPodcast.

]]> 00:35:36 <![CDATA[Confident Couples and Strong Relationships]]> Tue, 07 Apr 2020 01:00:00 +0000 Scott DeLuzio https://drive-on-podcast.castos.com/podcasts/2296/episodes/confident-couples-and-strong-relationships Neither Bud or Sara are veterans, which might make them seem like an unlikely choice for a podcast whose audience is primarily veterans and those that support them. However, I recently came to learn a very interesting trend. The rate of divorce amongst actively serving military is on a whole lower than the general population with few exceptions. If you think about it, there are incentives that the military has to keep couples together. Pay incentives, housing options, and other similar incentives. But after separating from the military all that goes away, and with it divorce rates skyrocket.

That’s why I asked Bud and Sara to be on the show. They’re co-hosts of the Confident Couples podcast, which talks about the power of intentional relationships, and the practices they’ve developed to help build their relationship.

We talk about the three foundations of marriage, which they equate to a three legged stool. If you knock one of the legs out, the whole thing becomes uneven and can tip over.
  • Communication
  • Finances
  • Intimacy

They also talk about two intentional practices that they’ve instituted in their relationship.

  • “The Ritual”, a daily communication process
  • Monthly life planning dinner

Links & Resources

Transcript Expand

Scott DeLuzio:    00:03    Thanks for tuning in to the Drive On Podcast where we talk about issues affecting veterans after they get out of the military. Before we get started, I’d like to ask a favor if you haven’t done so already, please rate and review the show on Apple podcasts. If you’ve already done that. Thank you. These ratings help the show get discovered so it can reach a wider audience. And while you’re there, click the subscribe button so that you get notified of new episodes as soon as they come out. If you don’t use Apple podcasts, you can visit DriveOnPodcasts.com/subscribe to find other ways of subscribing, including our email list. I’m your host Scott DeLuzio. And now let’s get on with the show.

Scott DeLuzio:    00:44    Hi, everyone today my guests are Bud and Sara Dunn, Bud and Sara host the Confident Couples Podcast where they talk about ways to strengthen relationships by working on communication, finances, and a couple’s overall commitment to each other. Now, neither Bud nor Sara are veterans, which might make them seem like an unlikely choice for a podcast whose audience is primarily veterans and the people who support them. However, I recently came to learn a very interesting trend. The rate of divorce amongst actively serving military is on whole lower than the general population. Of course, there’s some demographics that vary within the military, but overall, the military does a pretty decent job at keeping spouses together. If you think about it, there are some good incentives to staying married while in the military. There are pay incentives, improved housing options, insurance and other things like that. But after separating from the military, all that goes away and with it, the d...

]]> false Neither Bud or Sara are veterans, which might make them seem like an unlikely choice for a podcast whose audience is primarily veterans and those that support them. However, I recently came to learn a very interesting trend. The rate of divorce amongst actively serving military is on a whole lower than the general population with few exceptions. If you think about it, there are incentives that the military has to keep couples together. Pay incentives, housing options, and other similar incentives. But after separating from the military all that goes away, and with it divorce rates skyrocket.

That’s why I asked Bud and Sara to be on the show. They’re co-hosts of the Confident Couples podcast, which talks about the power of intentional relationships, and the practices they’ve developed to help build their relationship.

We talk about the three foundations of marriage, which they equate to a three legged stool. If you knock one of the legs out, the whole thing becomes uneven and can tip over.
  • Communication
  • Finances
  • Intimacy

They also talk about two intentional practices that they’ve instituted in their relationship.

  • “The Ritual”, a daily communication process
  • Monthly life planning dinner

Links & Resources

Transcript Expand

Scott DeLuzio:    00:03    Thanks for tuning in to the Drive On Podcast where we talk about issues affecting veterans after they get out of the military. Before we get started, I’d like to ask a favor if you haven’t done so already, please rate and review the show on Apple podcasts. If you’ve already done that. Thank you. These ratings help the show get discovered so it can reach a wider audience. And while you’re there, click the subscribe button so that you get notified of new episodes as soon as they come out. If you don’t use Apple podcasts, you can visit DriveOnPodcasts.com/subscribe to find other ways of subscribing, including our email list. I’m your host Scott DeLuzio. And now let’s get on with the show.

Scott DeLuzio:    00:44    Hi, everyone today my guests are Bud and Sara Dunn, Bud and Sara host the Confident Couples Podcast where they talk about ways to strengthen relationships by working on communication, finances, and a couple’s overall commitment to each other. Now, neither Bud nor Sara are veterans, which might make them seem like an unlikely choice for a podcast whose audience is primarily veterans and the people who support them. However, I recently came to learn a very interesting trend. The rate of divorce amongst actively serving military is on whole lower than the general population. Of course, there’s some demographics that vary within the military, but overall, the military does a pretty decent job at keeping spouses together. If you think about it, there are some good incentives to staying married while in the military. There are pay incentives, improved housing options, insurance and other things like that. But after separating from the military, all that goes away and with it, the divorce rates unfortunately skyrocket. So, Bud and Sara, welcome to the show. Why don’t you tell us a little bit about yourselves and your background?

Sara Dunn:    01:56    Hey Scott, this is Sara and I’m here with Bud and we are just an average couple from Michigan. And we like talking about relationship stuff, which is something we discovered about two years ago when we realized a lot of the very intentional things that we do to work on our relationship were not super normal. So that’s how we ended up starting the Confident Couples Podcast. And we’re really thrilled to be here with you with the knowledge that we’re just an average couple that love talking about relationships and we hope that we have something good to share.

Bud Dunn:    02:35    So took me about two years to talk Sara into starting the podcast and it’s fun that now we’re doing an episode like this with you; because when I wanted to get it started, the whole jumping off point for me was just sharing some of the things that we’ve learned with peers of ours in documenting some of the stuff that we’ve done so that hopefully it’ll impact somebody in a positive way. You know, we talked about how it’s like a pizza. You eat what you like, you pick off what you don’t, you don’t need to use or eat the whole thing and maybe you mold it into something different. So that’s some of the practices that we’ve gone through and some of the episodes we’ve done. And we’re excited and thank you for inviting us on. And I think I’d be remiss if I didn’t thank all the listeners too for the sacrifices that they’ve made; as civilians that we are, for the country and for their fellow countrymen and women. And we really appreciate all the effort that your listener and you have put into your sacrifices you’ve made as a military member.

Scott DeLuzio:    03:35    Absolutely. Thank you that. Let’s jump right in. So, as I alluded to in the intro, married service members have a few incentives to stay married while they’re serving. These incentives aren’t exactly a strong foundation for a good marriage. I think that this is one of the reasons why those marriages tend to fall apart after leaving the military. So, let’s start off with the basics. Let’s talk about some of the foundations of a strong marriage. I think this is a good place to start because a good foundation really is crucial to any marriage. So, what are some of those basics that make up a good marriage?

Sara Dunn:    04:19    Well, we have our opinion about this topic and I should say we’re not trained relationship counselors either. So, these are just things that we’ve figured out ourselves. So, we’ve been together for 17 years. We’ve been married for almost nine years now and we’ve always been very committed to a strong partnership in our marriage, thinking about the future, thinking about where we wanted to go together and really keeping that as a priority. So, it was advice from a friend of ours that created our three foundations of marriage that we ended up talking about on I think the very first episode of our podcast. Bud’s the best at explaining those. So, I’ll let him do it.

Bud Dunn:    05:03    So the three principles are, we call it the three-legged stool, and it’s communication, finance, and intimacy. And the basic concept of why we call it the three-legged stool is that you kick one leg out and it all falls over. But if you keep all legs underneath you, then you can pretty much walk through everything or anything that’s challenging in your life or your business life or your work life or your family life or anything else. So, you can navigate your way through it. So, the first thing is communication. If you’re talking to each other and you’re having issues and challenges, then you can figure those things out through communication. If you’re handling your money well and you know that your money’s coming in and it’s going out. And I want to retrench that real quick,

Bud Dunn:    05:48    if you just know what is going on with money, whether you’re handling it perfectly or whether you’re handling it exceptionally well, as long as you’re working towards a future that you want to financially, even if you’re behind the eight ball, just knowing where it is, is a stress reliever. Financial independence or finance or money management is a hard topic for people. And then the last thing is intimacy and intimacy can come in a couple of different forms. It can come in physical intimacy through sex and it can come through communication intimacy where you’re going to be deeper than just the normal stuff. It can be touch, it can be a lot of different things. For us as a married couple and for others, married, physical touch is a big part of this. That’s if you’re doing those three things well then you can walk through a lot of different challenges in life and manage them together.

Sara Dunn:    06:47    So, I really think that these are a lot of the things that create those issues within a relationship. So, I think we’ve all heard of other couples that struggle with their communication, they don’t feel seen or heard or they don’t feel that they’re able to talk to their partner about their real feelings and maybe they don’t have those foundations of good communication set up. So, that’s an important thing. And we’ve all heard of couples that can’t get their money figured out and it creates so many arguments and so much stress because they don’t believe the same things about their money or one partner feels like the other one isn’t really managing money well and they’re not having good proactive conversations. And then of course intimacy as well is a huge thing that can cause relationships to break apart. So those are common reasons for a relationship to end. And that’s why we try to keep them top of mind all the time and keep them as things that we’re always working on because we know that the risk is there.

Scott DeLuzio:    07:51    Yeah, that’s a great way to think of it. The three-legged stool, where if any one of those things is wobbly or is not present, the whole thing’s going to fall over, maybe not right away, but eventually it’ll probably fall over and whoever’s sitting on it’s going to come crashing down to the ground too. So, okay. So, we have a good foundation in place. We have the three pillars of a good relationship in place or at least now we know what goes into it so we can work on those things. But then there’s going to be times when things go wrong. Life isn’t perfect. Life is messy. It’s inevitable that couples are going to disagree with each other from time to time. And there’s a ton of little things that could go wrong each day, splitting up the household chores, all the way to bigger things like finances like you were talking about. The key is how you handle those disagreements and that the issues that pop up. What’s some advice that you might be able to give on how to handle these disagreements and how to get back on track.

Sara Dunn: So, I like this question and sometimes I like to think about it even in a different direction. So, what can we do to avoid arguments in the first place and wondering what are some of those intentional things that we can put in place that actually help relationships to keep moving forward and avoid that feeling of, “Oh, this thing’s going wrong. Oh, this thing’s making me crazy. Oh, my partner’s not doing this and I really need them to do it.” That’s one of the reasons that we started our podcast is that if people think a little more proactively and put some intentional practices in place in their relationships, they can actually avoid a lot of those big blow up arguments because they have communication opportunities built in to their everyday.

Sara Dunn:    09:46    So, there’s two different intentional practices that we have really developed over our marriage and really recommend for other couples who might be struggling with their communication or just their relationship in general. The first one is what we call the ritual, which is just some sort of daily communication practice that’s very ritualized. So, we always sit down to dinner together and we ask how was your day? And it is a jumping off point for each person to share openly whatever is important to them that day. So, it could be a rundown of this is what I did today or it could be this is the one particular challenge I’m trying to work through and I’d actually really appreciate your perspective or I didn’t really have a good day and I need some support around that. So, it opens that door for someone to feel seen and heard and for the other person to help them out as needed.

Sara Dunn:    10:45    Anything you’d like to add on the ritual?

Bud Dunn:  Nope.

Sara Dunn: Okay. Some sort of daily communication practice with your spouse, so you feel really connected on a regular basis. And I know that this can be a lot harder for people with children. We don’t have any children. I know that that adds so much more busy-ness and takes away a lot of your attention. But we know other couples that have this type of ritual maybe in the morning, before kids get up or over coffee or they do it at night right before bed. Just some sort of communication and connection practice. It’s just good to find that time that works in your schedule to make sure on an everyday basis you feel really connected. So that can really help to avoid things building up or someone feeling like they’re unimportant, which can really lead to a lot of other problems in a relationship.

Scott DeLuzio:    11:40    I know my wife and I, since you mentioned, the issue with the complication of having kids in the mix; my wife and I have three kids. We have this kind of a process where we talk with each other, it’s usually after the kids have gone to bed, at night, we put them down to bed and then for the next few hours were up we have that time where we can talk with each other about what’s going on during the day and things like that and it really does help to have that kind of communication and keep that open. That way if there is an issue with something, it’s not going to just build up and fester and become a bigger problem down the road, which a lot of times, even little tiny issues could become big issues down the road. When they start building up, it becomes that straw that breaks the camel’s back and causes those bigger arguments.

Sara Dunn:    12:40    So I think, I love that idea of the right after kids go to bed. I think it’s important to take that time to mute the TV, turn it off for a few minutes and have that face to face communication about what’s going on. So that seems like it would be a really good time for a ritual.

Scott DeLuzio:    12:58    Yeah, exactly. I think that’s a great time to do it. And again, like you said, it really should fit in with what works with your schedule. You might work opposite shifts or something like that and there may only be a short amount of time that you’re actually in the same place at the same time for days or whatever and it may not be possible to do it at the same time every single day. So, do what works for you.  Make sure you make it a priority.

Bud Dunn:    13:29    Yeah. There was another couple that we were introduced to that has another more radical practice that they do every week instead of every day because their lifestyle is a little more hectic than a lot of us from a travel side and every weekend, this husband and wife on Sunday, they have a conversation. It’s centered around two things, which is what did I do this week that you never want me to do again. And what did I do this week that you never want me to stop doing? So, they’re trying to condense it down into a couple individual things that we may have done with each other. And the whole concept here is that, if I’m going to be with my partner for 30 years, I’d like to know about the things that I’m annoying them so I don’t do them. And if I’m going to be with them for 30 years, I’d like to know about the things that they cherish and love so I can keep doing them. Sara hates it.

Sara Dunn:  I do hate that.

Bud Dunn:  because it’s so radical and I think it’s so tough and there is a toughness to it.

Sara Dunn:    14:31    I hate it because, the question, what do you never want me to do again? I would worry that I would start looking for those negative things throughout the week. I would so that I had something to report to you on Sunday that I hated and I prefer to kind of keep a positive mindset and put a lot more attention on things I like. So, I personally don’t want a practice that encourages me to find the negative. I do think that a couple of things about that that are great is that it is very ritualized again, so they’re like set questions you’re asking each other and I know someone listening is going to be like, you sound like robots. Why would you ask the same question every day? Or the same question every week? That seems like too much or that seems weird.

Sara Dunn:    15:21    You’re not having a natural romantic relationship. And I would just encourage you to try something because you might find that it gives you some structure to start conversations you wouldn’t have had otherwise. So, having some sort of question that is your ritual question, you ask each other, it can put you in the right mindset to start a serious conversation. So, it’s not just what are we having for dinner? The “how is your day?” question is not something we throw away. It really triggers our attention to turn to the other person and listen in a very active way. So, when Bud says to me, “how was your day?” I try to make sure I don’t have distractions going. Sometimes I can do it while I’m cooking and sometimes, I’m not paying enough attention to this interaction. So, it’s important to me that I know that that question is our connection question and I need to turn off everything else and really focus on you. So, I do like something that’s structured and more ritualistic.

Scott DeLuzio:    16:30    Yeah. And it makes sense too because it gives you that time also to sit down and  be intentional about the communication that you have and know that this is our time together to talk about what’s going on and help each other through maybe having a problem at work or whatever it is. It also shows that you care. Do you know that I cared that maybe you’re having a problem and there’s maybe something I can do to help you out and work through this situation?

Sara Dunn:    17:08    And I want to actively listen to what you have to say. Your important.

Scott DeLuzio:    17:13    Exactly. Yeah. Not while you’re driving home from work and talking on the phone while you’re dealing with the jerk who just cut you off and you’re not really paying that close attention at that point. But if you can just sit down and it doesn’t even have to be long and it could be a five, 10-minute conversation and probably do most of you know what you need to do in that short amount of time?

Sara Dunn:    17:40    Yeah, I agree. I would say our conversations usually don’t go more than five or 10 minutes in the back and forth.

Bud Dunn: The mind only takes with the ass can endure.

Scott DeLuzio:    17:54    I like that.

Sara Dunn:    17:56    Yeah. So, it doesn’t have to be long. Sometimes it does drag out if we’ve got a big issue to work out together, but at least it’s given us a platform to do that. Before we move on from intentional practices, I’d love to talk about the second intentional thing that we do to make sure to work on our communication. This is very structured and intentional, but we do something that’s called a monthly life planning dinner. And this evolved for us. We used to do annual goal setting and a monthly goal review together, which is a little intense and I didn’t necessarily like having Bud as my accountability partner, because I felt like he was being my boss. That’s a separate topic that we did talk about a lot in our episode about life planning dinner.

Sara Dunn:    18:44    But the Cliff Notes version is what we’ve evolved into is life planning dinner is our monthly intentional opportunity to go through a few key things. We always do gratitude for the month, like something great that happened, thank each other for it and just notice and recognize those good things. And then we always do a review of our budget. So, we’re big on money transparency and creating a platform for money conversations. But we also recognize that talking about money, just like on a random weeknight, if you’re having big issues, nobody wants to do that. Nobody wants to dump that on their partner. And I think a lot of times that’s why we don’t have money conversations is we don’t know when to have them. When is your partner in the right mindset to talk about this really hard thing? So that’s why we always wrap a budget and money conversation in a life planning dinner because we both know it’s coming and we’re both mentally prepared to have that conversation. So how are we doing with savings? How are we doing with income and expenses? That’s all part of life planning dinner. And then we do a little bit of a goal review or just talk about what we’d like to accomplish that month so we can again, make sure we’re connecting with what’s important to us and to our partner and working together toward a vision for the future. Forget anything, Bud?

Bud Dunn:  Nope.

Scott DeLuzio:    20:10    Yeah. And you know a lot of this from the outside looking into some of these things, and sort of like the couple that you were talking about, it seems somewhat transactional to maybe an outsider. But I think at the same time, it’s not really because you’re being intentional about your relationship and you’re not just coasting through and just letting life happen to you. And then suddenly finding out, “Oh crap, we have no money in the bank because we spent it all on this nonsense that we didn’t need. And all those trips that we took that we didn’t need to go on and everything else that might’ve gone on.” When you’re intentional about it, when you sit down and you talk to each other and you care about what the other person has to say and listen, things tend to work themselves out.

Scott DeLuzio:    21:10    You can figure out what’s going on in the other person’s mind and you can work through issues if you both don’t agree on something, which, I don’t know a couple of who agrees on everything. I don’t know that they exist and if they do, God bless them, but I don’t know that they exist. At least, you’ll know where the other person’s coming from. So, it’s not like a surprise when something happens and they react one way. I knew they were going to do that because we already talked about this.

Sara Dunn:    21:42    So question for you, Scott. As we’re talking about structure and intentionality and routine, are there elements of structure and routine to military life?

Scott DeLuzio:    21:53    There definitely are. I mean, most days are structured where you wake up at this time and you exercise at this time and you eat breakfast at this time and then whatever your job is, you go and do your job for X amount of hours and you eat lunch at this time and then you move on, you continue your work day until the end of the day. And it’s very structured, for the most part. I believe a lot of people who are in the military crave that structure when they get out, because you go from a day that’s very much structured where you can pretty much say at any given point in time, this is what I’m going to be doing and when I’m going to be doing it, where I’m going to be and everything like that. And then you get out and suddenly, it’s just like, do whatever the hell you want. You can come, you can go, you can do whatever. And no one’s there really for accountability. And that’s when things start to fall apart, I think in some cases.

Bud Dunn:    22:57    So there’s an overall arching theme that I think our process keeps coming back to which is, how are you building ritualized structure into your daily practice in your daily life to help you cope with the chaos that is life in general. So, I think for your listeners to take back especially if they’re craving or come from and you can see how successful the military is that getting difficult objectives done on a regular basis. And they do that by having a structure and a rhythm and a reason and a rhyme of how they go about it. Now when you’re out of the military and you are craving or looking for that structure, you get to craft your own; so think about how you want to craft your own structure, how you want to start to build your own practices, how you want to start to create the world that you want to live in with the practices that you think are deemed as successful or necessary or important to you.

Bud Dunn:    23:57    You know, for us daily communication is important. You know, for others it might be every couple of days or it might be once a week  and for some who are really good writers or good verbalizer ( I am especially beyond horrible writer and I have to do my best work in communication verbal language). You’re going to craft your strategy and your design and structure and rituals and be open to how you want to put them together. And we’re talking about practices with you today that has taken us eight years to develop.  We do it one way and then we modify it and do it this way, and then we tweak it again and do it that way. So, go down that path, walk that path with us, and you’re okay to start at zero or you’re okay to start at year three and work your way through where you want to go or where you think you want to go.

Sara Dunn:    24:55    And I would say that our veteran listeners are uniquely equipped to put this type of structure into their relationships. So, I know it’s not normal, not everyone in the world has very intentional communication practices and different practices like this, but I think that it’s really worthwhile having had that kind of structure before, you’re uniquely equipped to do this. So, don’t write it off.

Bud Dunn:    25:23    I listened to a couple of your episodes and I don’t think you’re, we aren’t, and I don’t think you are particularly religious in the way that you approach things. Is that still correct?

Scott DeLuzio:    25:40    Oh, in the podcast we haven’t covered religion too much in the podcast.

Bud Dunn:  We don’t either. We don’t touch it at all.

Scott DeLuzio:  It’s not necessarily intentional that we haven’t covered it. It’s one of those topics that just hasn’t come up.

Bud Dunn:  So, we don’t cover it at all but for our listener who may be religious or going to mass or church on a regular basis, if you start paying attention, church, religion, all of them, they’ve all got rituals in there and we don’t look at that and say, well, that’s transactional. We don’t look at that and say that it’s transactional at all. We look at it and say, this is touchy feely and this is love. This is spiritual, you know. But it’s all ritualized and it’s all standardized and we do the same hymns in the same time, in the same way. We marry people year after year with the same First Corinthians.  Well, we do the same damn thing

Bud Dunn:    26:44    repeatedly, but nobody says that’s transactional. Everybody says that’s spiritual and love. So, I think we can take a lot of lessons from that, whether you’re religious or not, you can take lessons from that. We are ritualistic human beings by nature. That’s just who we are by design. So, we’re going to always be, it’s in our DNA. We’re always going to have some ritual that helps get us up in the morning and helps move us forward and this whole structure. So, let’s just feed it. Let’s just use it to our advantage.

Scott DeLuzio:    27:18    That makes a lot of sense. I think that that probably could help some people wrap their heads around that ritual in that transactional nature of it, how it feels like it’s just routine and how you go through all of that. But it does make sense because if you make it a routine and you make it a habit that you do this routine, you’re not going to miss those steps. If it’s just something that you talk about, on occasion whenever you feel like it, then you’re going to start to miss things. If you’re not approaching it with some sort of intention, you’re going to end up missing those conversations that might be important.

Scott DeLuzio:    28:00    Definitely. So, we mentioned finances earlier and I know that’s one of those things that people aren’t supposed to talk about in polite company. Right? There’s some politics. We hit religion too. So, we got religion and finances. Politics is around the corner. I know we might as well just jump into politics, but finances are something that you should talk about. And we covered that a little bit. I know my wife and I talk about money all the time. We have a rule together that if anything is going to cost more than $20, if you’re going out to the store and it’s like an unplanned purchase or whatever, we go and talk about it first. Other than the necessities like gas for the car, groceries, utilities, stuff like that. We’ll talk about it if it’s going to be over $20 and that feels somewhat transactional as well, but it serves as a good sanity check. So, we’re not spending like crazy on stuff we don’t need. So how transparent do you think couples should be when it comes to money? I’m guessing separate bank accounts are not the best idea. So, what are your thoughts on that? I don’t want to put words into your mouth.

Bud Dunn:    29:16    So, this is something that we don’t stand on a lot of pillars and say this is exactly how you should do it. And this is one of them that we do.  For us extreme transparency is the best remedy. So, what’s that look like? For us it looks like same bank account money into the same bank account, money out of the same account and, monthly tracking and measuring and communication around how that money’s moving. Budgeting, particularly. So, other tactics that you want to use inside of that framework, is it $20 is it $500 is it $5? It doesn’t really matter to us. But what matters most is that the money’s all going in the same place. The money’s all coming out of the same place and that you and your partner are looking at that money movement together. And what we notice for ourselves is that we used to do the first two steps and then we missed the looking at the money movement together. And what would happen is that earlier in our relationship it would be, I was the one who was tracking and measuring and looking at it

Sara Dunn:    30:31    because you liked doing. So, I kind of put my hands up and was like, Bud likes doing the finances,

Bud Dunn:    30:38    I love to track our money. Everybody’s got a chore that they love to do. You know? And this is just my chore that I enjoy doing. So, what was happening though was that I was tracking and measuring and then was not communicated to Sara. So good example, like entertainment budget. We were burning through entertainment money of like going out to bars and restaurants and going out at night. We were having a blast doing it and we burn up our whole first year of marriage budget in 90 days. And I was always bad. Oh no. But I didn’t have a plan for fun and I didn’t have a platform to like to tell her or I had never done it before. So, inevitably what happened where these passive aggressive comments, “Oh well, we’re going out together to dinner again tonight?”

Sara Dunn:    31:28    He’d be like, why? He’s like, what do you want to do for dinner? I’m like, “Oh, let’s go for tacos again.” And like he would get all uncomfortable and mad at me and I didn’t know why because we weren’t having open communication. You know, I’d go and get a coffee and he’d be like, how many coffees have you gone out to this week? And I feel like I’m doing something wrong here, but I don’t know what it is.

Bud Dunn:    31:47    So as soon as we started bringing the finance discussion to the table on a monthly basis for us, it’s once a month. It became a different conversation. What I ultimately learned was that by looking at it and hoarding the information and only knowing it exclusively for myself, then I came to live on a place called Mars and Sara having none of the information. And not even being gifted or seen or participating in any of the information flow came to a place no, live in a place called Venus. And because of those two things, then I just saw the world completely differently than she did. And as soon as we started talking about this, we both became to live in a world called reality and then we could handle it together.

Scott DeLuzio:    32:41    Yeah. And communication is key, I think in all aspects, but especially in finances, because like you said, then if you’re not communicating, you’re going to end up with those passive aggressive comments. “Oh, you’re getting another coffee and all that kind of stuff. And that’s not helpful to anybody, but it happens, you know? So, opening that communication and talking about the issues that you’re experiencing. You’re trying to save up for something, but you keep spending money. It just doesn’t work. That’s just not how money works. You can’t keep spending if you’re trying to save.

Sara Dunn:    33:19    Or one person can’t feel like they’re saving and they feel like the other person keeps spending. One thing that we did to avoid that problem, and I highly recommend this to all couples, especially newly married couples that are just first combining their finances, is to give each person in the relationship a small discretionary budget or a $20 bill, some cash, we call it the shopping budget and it’s a certain amount allocated to each of us. It’s equal, every single month. And we’re allowed to spend that without judgment. So, if I want to go get coffee, that now comes out of my shopping budget because I could also make coffee for myself. And that’s a choice that I’m making to have some fun on my own. If I want to save up for a new shirt or something that’s going to cost, I can save my shopping budget over months. If Bud wants to go on a golf trip with his buddies, he can save up over months for that in his shopping budget. And I don’t say anything about it

Bud Dunn:    34:23    My wishes are deeper than Sara’s, you know; she’s just got a $2 coffee from Starbucks and I’m like, Oh, golf clubs.

Sara Dunn:    34:31    Is that sarcasm? I’m creating the examples here so they get to be my examples. But it’s so nice. It’s nice to have money that you get to spend where someone doesn’t make a passive aggressive comment about that. Another box just arrived on the front porch and what’s that now and what did it cost? It’s one of those things. We even had a conversation, what did I pick on you about recently? And you were like, it’s my shopping budget. It doesn’t matter.

Bud Dunn:    35:07    You literally texted me about a new set of golf clubs, this show.

Sara Dunn:    35:10    Oh, that’s right. The vintage golf clubs you wanted to have. I’m like, what are you going to do with those? And he goes, it doesn’t matter to you. It was my shopping

Bud Dunn:    35:18    budget, a gift that’s from this crazy guy at a golf store. It’s like we buy clubs.

Sara Dunn:    35:24    And that was the end of the conversation. So that’s a helpful thing to have in any relationship, no matter what that monthly amount is, make sure that each partner has something they can spend without judgment and get some joy from without someone picking on them.

Scott DeLuzio:    35:38    Awesome. That makes a lot of sense with finances. And I think this leads into the next thing, I want to talk about where you’re working together to make sure that the finances are in order. You’re communicating, you’re savings and your spending are in line with each other’s expectations and whatever your objectives are, if you’re saving up for something. The next thing that I was going to talk about is that a marriage is like a team sport, which isn’t always perfect, right? If you use let’s say baseball as an example here, you have a pitcher and a catcher, right? The catcher relies on the pitcher to throw the ball and the pitcher relies on the catcher to catch the ball.

Scott DeLuzio:    36:33    The best way for that to happen is if the pitcher throws a good pitch every single time. But occasionally, the pitcher’s obviously not going to throw a good pitch. He’s going to throw a wild pitch and it wouldn’t do the team or the pitcher, the catcher, any good if the catcher just threw his hands up and started bitching and moaning about the bad pitch. It is his job to catch the ball no matter how bad of a throw it is. And, if you want to flip that around, it also doesn’t do the team any good if the pitcher complains about how the catcher didn’t catch the ball; they just need to roll with it and do the best they can to help make up for the other person’s shortcomings. So, like a marriage, it requires both to work towards the same goals, support each other in the process. Kind of a long winded way to get to the question I had for you, but, the question I guess is, what should couples do to change their mindset from playing an individual sport like golf for example, to a team sport like baseball. It’s not even the best analogy here. Maybe doubles in tennis or something like that is a better example. But what is the best way that couples can change their mindset to become more of a team player.

Sara Dunn:    37:48    I really like this question, because I started thinking about how is marriage different than an actual sport? And I want you to imagine a world where baseball didn’t really have any set rules. You got to make them up and there was no way to measure your success. So, there wasn’t any scoring, there wasn’t any playoff. It would be hard to know if you were doing a good job or not. And unfortunately, marriage is a lot that way where your only goal is stay together through all things, which sounds terrible. So, I think that the way that sports can actually show us how marriage can be more successful is thinking about the fact that in a sport there are some guidelines and if there is something that the team is working toward together

Sara Dunn:    38:42    So, I think marriages do best when couples take the time to get on the same page about where they’re going in the future. What do they want life to look like five, 10, 15 years from now? Have you had a conversation about that so that you guys can talk about that together? Again, that’s something that we’ve done intentionally. So, we did a 15-year vision. Like what would be awesome if we were able to accomplish 15 years after we got married and do we agree on what that looks like or do we not? And we can talk through that a little bit. If I said, well, my dream is that we’re retired 15 years from now and Bud’s like, I’m never stopping working. Then we have some conversations that we need to have. And I think that a lot of couples in marriage, they just go day to day just trying to make it through the day as opposed to being on a team and working toward a future together.

Bud Dunn:    39:38    Some people call it a dream conversation; we call it visioning where you’re going to go through and actually write out where you want to be and five, 10, 15, 20 years each increment as many of them as you want. And this is the fun part of where it’s like, what do you see? What are you doing? What’s it smell like? What’s it tastes like? So, that it’s more than just, I’m doing this and I’m doing that. It’s like, how do you feel? Actually? I think that when we did this and when we see others do it, it changes somebody’s mindset too. That my win is Sara’s win and Sara’s win is my win too. We’re both actively working towards whatever that vision statement is. We’ve got our own individual vision statement; we’ve got our family vision and we’ve got a family vision statement for the two of us. So, though every collective effort a minute and an hour of effort that we put in every day towards that is something that I know I’m winning and if I have a bad day or if I’m not doing the best, she’s winning. So, I get to have a win in that sense, as well.

Scott DeLuzio:    40:54    Yeah, I mean it makes the analogy makes sense, too, when you think about it like a sport. When the pitcher has a great game and has a no hitter or something like that, the team, the team makes out for it. You can have the worst players on the field and if the pitcher is doing good or not, the worst players on the field, but you can have players who are not having their best day. But if the pitcher is having a on day, everybody wins and so you feed off each other, help each other out and make the best of whatever is thrown your way. So, it’s really a great example. And I like how you guys phrase that and mesh that together.

Scott DeLuzio:    41:52    So, it looks like we’re over time, already, but that’s okay. I’ve really enjoyed this conversation and I really do want to thank the two of you for being on the show.  I do think it’s an important topic, so I’m glad that we had the time to chat about it and talk about some of these best practices. Maybe if you want to put them that way for relationships and marriages. Important things to talk about, but you guys do have the Confident Couples Podcast and I do want to let people know about that. If you wouldn’t mind letting people know where to find more about you too. And the podcast and where they can listen to it.

Sara Dunn:    42:39    I always mess this part up so I’ll take it. I update the website so all our episodes are available@BudandSara.com. And the podcast is available on anywhere you listen to podcasts, including Spotify, Apple podcasts, Google. So, we’ve talked about so many things in the last half hour that we have full episodes about and they’re not like super long and crazy. Our episodes are 20 to 30 minutes and we go in depth on topics like the daily ritual, life planning, dinner, fighting fair, budgeting and money, the shopping budget; there’s episodes on all those things. So, if anything here peaked anybody’s interest, go and do a little search on budandSara.com and you might be able to find some more in-depth information.

Scott DeLuzio:    43:35    And I will definitely have links to all of this in the show notes so that if you’re looking to get more advice on relationships and want to listen to the podcast, you can go ahead and check out the show notes and link over to their show from there. So, thank you again a Bud and Sara. I really enjoyed this conversation.

Sara Dunn:    43:54    We did too. Thank you, Scott.

Scott DeLuzio:    44:01    Thanks for listening to the Drive On Podcast. If you want to check out more episodes or learn more about the show, you can visit our website, DriveOnPodcast.com we’re on Facebook, Twitter, and Instagram at DriveOnPodcast.

]]> 00:44:21 <![CDATA[Physical Isolation Not Social Isolation]]> Tue, 31 Mar 2020 01:00:00 +0000 Scott DeLuzio https://drive-on-podcast.castos.com/podcasts/2296/episodes/physical-isolation-not-social-isolation The phrase “social isolation” gives the wrong impression. We should keep the social, while maintaining a physical distance.

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Alright, it looks like last week’s Hail Mary didn’t quite work and we’re all still stuck at home doing the social isolation thing.

 

That’s an interesting term that they picked isn’t it, social isolation? I think it’s a bit of a fucked up term because it sort of implies that we have to just stay away from everyone, and have zero interactions with anyone else.

 

But that’s totally not the case. As a matter of fact, I’d like to encourage people to not only talk with others, but also reach out to friends, family, neighbors, or whatever. Initiate the conversation. Now, I’m not suggesting that you all go down to the bar for happy hour or anything. You probably can’t anyway because it’s closed. But there are a number of ways you can communicate with other people while still maintaining the physical distance or barriers.

 

I think this is important especially for people who might live alone, or for those who get the majority of their social interaction in person outside of their home. Even more importantly, is when there are people who are struggling with finding their sense of purpose while their job might be on hold, or some volunteer work they do is put off for the foreseeable future. If that sounds like you, I know it’s really important to maintain that sense of purpose. And if you’re struggling to figure out what your purpose is these days, maybe you could be the one who checks in on the folks in your life.

 

So how do we do this?

 

OK, first off I realize that not everyone out there is a tech geek like me, so not only will I introduce a few tools you can use, but I’ll also walk you through how to use them as best as I can. 

 

Facebook

Facebook is a pretty common platform that a lot of people are already on and familiar with. I’ll start here because it’s a pretty low barrier to entry. If you don’t have a Facebook account, it’s 2020, just sign up for one. It kills me when I hear people, especially vets, say “oh I don’t want Facebook to take all of my information, I value my privacy too much.” It’s like, you were in the military, all your shit’s out there anyway. You had no privacy in the military, just sign up for the damn account. You can delete it after all this crap blows over if you want.

 

Alright, so how do we keep in touch on Facebook? Of course, you could post updates to your timeline, or stories or whatever, but that isn’t a real connection. But they do have a pretty useful feature where you can video chat with your friends. If you click the little messenger icon – it looks like a speech bubble with a lightning bolt in it, you can click a friend’s name or search for a friend you haven’t chatted with before. In their message window, there’s a video camera looking icon. Click that and you can start a video chat with...

]]> full 44 false The phrase “social isolation” gives the wrong impression. We should keep the social, while maintaining a physical distance.

Links & Resources

Transcript Expand

Alright, it looks like last week’s Hail Mary didn’t quite work and we’re all still stuck at home doing the social isolation thing.

 

That’s an interesting term that they picked isn’t it, social isolation? I think it’s a bit of a fucked up term because it sort of implies that we have to just stay away from everyone, and have zero interactions with anyone else.

 

But that’s totally not the case. As a matter of fact, I’d like to encourage people to not only talk with others, but also reach out to friends, family, neighbors, or whatever. Initiate the conversation. Now, I’m not suggesting that you all go down to the bar for happy hour or anything. You probably can’t anyway because it’s closed. But there are a number of ways you can communicate with other people while still maintaining the physical distance or barriers.

 

I think this is important especially for people who might live alone, or for those who get the majority of their social interaction in person outside of their home. Even more importantly, is when there are people who are struggling with finding their sense of purpose while their job might be on hold, or some volunteer work they do is put off for the foreseeable future. If that sounds like you, I know it’s really important to maintain that sense of purpose. And if you’re struggling to figure out what your purpose is these days, maybe you could be the one who checks in on the folks in your life.

 

So how do we do this?

 

OK, first off I realize that not everyone out there is a tech geek like me, so not only will I introduce a few tools you can use, but I’ll also walk you through how to use them as best as I can. 

 

Facebook

Facebook is a pretty common platform that a lot of people are already on and familiar with. I’ll start here because it’s a pretty low barrier to entry. If you don’t have a Facebook account, it’s 2020, just sign up for one. It kills me when I hear people, especially vets, say “oh I don’t want Facebook to take all of my information, I value my privacy too much.” It’s like, you were in the military, all your shit’s out there anyway. You had no privacy in the military, just sign up for the damn account. You can delete it after all this crap blows over if you want.

 

Alright, so how do we keep in touch on Facebook? Of course, you could post updates to your timeline, or stories or whatever, but that isn’t a real connection. But they do have a pretty useful feature where you can video chat with your friends. If you click the little messenger icon – it looks like a speech bubble with a lightning bolt in it, you can click a friend’s name or search for a friend you haven’t chatted with before. In their message window, there’s a video camera looking icon. Click that and you can start a video chat with the other person. There’s also an icon that looks like a telephone. If you click that you can start a voice only call with that person.

 

You can also do a group call with several people at once. Maybe you have family scattered around the country or several friends that you want to chat with. Create a group message with those people, and then you can do the same thing.

 

Like I said, the nice thing about Facebook is a lot of people already use it and are familiar with the platform. There’s a low learning curve there, so it shouldn’t be a huge technological burden. No software to install, it’s free, and people are already there.

 

Facetime

Facetime is nice if everyone you want to chat with has Apple devices, whether it’s an iPhone, iPad, or a Mac computer. If you all have one of those devices, you should be good to go. Apple makes it pretty intuitive on how to do that, so I won’t go into too much detail. The downside is that if someone you want to connect with doesn’t have an Apple device – maybe they have an Android phone, a or Windows computer, they won’t be able to use it. There are some third party apps that claim that they can use Facetime on Windows, but I don’t know if I really trust them all that much. If you give it a try and it works though, great I guess.

 

Zoom

Zoom is another tool that you can use to do video chats with some people. It’s free for one-on-one meetings or you can do more people for up to 40 minutes at a time. If you want longer you can upgrade to one of their paid plans, which is like $15 a month, which for a month or two isn’t too bad. Hopefully this shit’s over by then.

 

OK, so head over to zoom.us and sign up for a free account. There’s a blue button at the top of the screen that says sign up it’s free. Once you’re all set up you get a personal meeting room that you can send to whoever you want to meet with. It’s just a link that you and your guests can use to chat. Send that over by email, text message, burn it into their lawn, whatever.

 

Now, the downside to this is that everyone who uses this needs to install some software on their computers for it to work. The plus side to this is it’s super easy to install. When you or your guests click the link it’ll prompt you to install the software if you don’t have it already installed. Just agree to all the prompts and it’ll do it’s thing.

 

The one thing you’ll want to pay attention to is that you will need to be logged into your account for it to recognize you as the host. Being the host lets you control the meeting, mute or boot people, or whatever.

 

I actually use Zoom to record most podcast interviews when I have a guest because most of my guests are from all over the country.

 

Skype

OK, just like Zoom, Skype is another popular video chat tool. Honestly, there’s not much difference between Skype and Zoom for what we’re talking about here so, use whichever works best for you. If you try one and it doesn’t seem to be working for you, try the other. Like Zoom, Skype requires software to be installed first. You can go over to skype.com and find the download information. I think you also need a Microsoft account to use it, but they have the signup stuff over on their website too.

 

The only other thing I’ll mention is that for all of these tools, everyone you want to chat with needs to be using the same tool. You can’t be using Skype while someone else is using Zoom and expect to be able to connect together. You both need to use Skype or both need to use Zoom, or whatever other tool you decide to use.

 

Alright, there are other tools out there you can use. I think this is enough for you to get connected with the people in your life. If you need others do a Google search and find what you need. You shouldn’t need much other than this though.

 

So, what can you do with these tools?

 

The obvious answer is you can call people and chat with them. I mean that makes sense. But there’s more to it.

 

Maybe you have a group of friends that you typically do happy hour with on Friday nights or something. If the bars and restaurants in your area are closed and you can’t do your typical happy hour anymore, why not host a virtual happy hour? Everyone can grab their drink of choice – it doesn’t even have to be alcohol if they don’t drink, and join in the same chat. In a way it’s like you are all sitting around the same table, obviously without physically being in the same room or at the same table.

 

Maybe it’s not a happy hour. You could meet for coffee, or dinner. The point is you’re getting together with people and making that connection that we’re all missing right now.

 

I saw a few friends of mine had done a virtual karaoke night. They did it using Zoom, pulled up some songs on YouTube or Spotify or something, cranked the volume on their computer and sang songs. That might not be your cup of tea, it’s not mine, I don’t even sing in the shower. But if that’s up your alley then what the hell it can’t hurt to give it a try. Worst case is it sucks and you just hang out and chat with your friends for a little while.

 

This next idea is a little out there, but I saw someone post on Twitter that they did virtual beer pong. Each person set up one set of cups on a table, and pointed a computer at them so the other team could see it. They also used their phone so their face could be on as well. So one camera on the cups, another on the person. Again, it’s out there, but it’s possible.

 

If you’re in a book club, there’s no reason why you can’t still meet up. Just take your in person club and meet virtually.

 

You could play board games with each other. It might require that you all have the same game to play, or if not you have one person set up the game and do all the moving of the pieces or whatever. It’s different, but it could work. If you need to roll the dice to play the game, you can Google dice roller, and Google actually has a randomized dice roller that you can click the button and have it give you a random number 1-6. 

One of the cool features in Zoom is that you can do a screenshare. So if you have a family member or friend that is having trouble with their computer, you can have them share their screen with you so you can help troubleshoot the problem for them. 

 

Maybe you’re really good at something like building or fixing things, playing the guitar, cooking, baking, yoga, or whatever. You can use these tools to teach other people. It’s actually a pretty decent way to do it because you can teach a large number of people at the same time without the need to get everyone to the same location at the same time. Plus you can record your session with a lot of these tools, and post the video to YouTube later, which lets you help even more people. It’s even better if that thing you’re teaching is something you already do for work, because it might help get your business some exposure, which could lead to new customers in the future. You know, once all this dust settles.

 

I saw a video that a friend posted to Facebook the other day of some old Italian lady teaching people how to make pasta online. She usually does in person classes in her area, but since their whole country is locked down, she moved the classes online with the help of her granddaughter.

 

This can also be good for kids who are still out of school. Many schools are doing some version of online learning, but it’s probably not great. And this is not blaming the teachers or schools at all. They were in sort of a tough spot having the rug pulled out from under them. This isn’t how they were expecting to have to teach and evaluate their students. But parents might be looking for some supplemental education. If you can teach something to those kids, that might help those parents out quite a bit.

 

Of course, if you’re going to do something like this you’ll need to let people know about it. You can post information about it in local community Facebook groups, or other social platforms. I know the neighborhood I live in has a Facebook group where we can post things like this. Your city or town might have something similar. If you want to get paid for teaching these people, you’ll probably need to set up some sort of online payment system. You can have a PayPal link where people can pay you, then you send them the link to join your class after they’ve paid. That’s a quick and easy solution. There are more robust solutions like setting up a learning management system on a website where you collect payments. That can work too. I suppose the level of involvement you have with this will depend on how much you plan on offering, or whether or not you already have a website. If this is a one-off thing and you don’t already have a website, I wouldn’t suggest building one for this. If you think you might do this more often you might want to think about building one or adding to an existing site.

I’d like to actually hear from you. What are you doing to keep sane while you’re stuck at home? I mean most businesses around are closed, so even if you wanted to go out there aren’t too many options. So, what are you up to at home? Are you doing anything creative, or are you going stir crazy?

]]> 00:34:59 <![CDATA[The World Isn’t Ending]]> Tue, 24 Mar 2020 01:00:00 +0000 Scott DeLuzio https://drive-on-podcast.castos.com/podcasts/2296/episodes/the-world-isnt-ending Hey, good news! The world isn’t ending from this crazy virus that’s spreading around the world, even if it seems like it’ll end any day now.

We all need to take a deep breath and reset ourselves for a minute. We’ll be OK. We’ve dealt with worse. Let’s not panic.

But still wash your hands.

Links & Resources

Transcript Expand

Alright, can we get a reset on 2020? This whole virus situation has gotten a little out of hand hasn’t it?

 

I’m recording this a few days prior to when it will come out – it’s Friday March 20th right now, so I’ll make a few predictions about the state of affairs half a week from now.

 

More states will have placed their entire population on a mandatory lockdown. I think as of right now it’s just California and Illinois that have done so. 

 

Numbers of infections from this virus will have steadily increased, and unfortunately so will deaths.

 

And my final prediction is that toilet paper will become more valuable than US currency. OK, that last one is a bit tongue in cheek. Hopefully it doesn’t come true.

 

So, why does it seem like society is collapsing around us?

 

Is it the media causing us to panic? Are there legitimate concerns that some of us don’t understand or just aren’t taking seriously?

 

The recommendations to prevent infection include all the stuff we’ve heard over the last few weeks. Wash your hands, don’t touch your face, social distancing, and all that shit.

 

Now, I’ve seen two responses to these recommendations. One is complete and utter panic. The world is ending, and none of us will make it out alive. The other can be categorized as complete disregard of those recommendations – fuck it I probably won’t get it, or confusion about the recommendations – I don’t get why everyone is flipping out. They compare the coronavirus to some other virus or disease that no one flips out over.

 

I’m not going to tell you which reaction is right or wrong. I’m not a doctor or infectious disease expert. Do I think washing your hands and staying away from sick people is a good idea? Sure, that all makes sense. It made just as much sense in January as it does now. Do I think the government is overreaching by forcing businesses to close, and mandating citizens to stay in their homes? Absolutely. I still think it’s the right thing for people to do in certain situations like if there are people who are sick in your area, but I don’t think the government should be the ones forcing people to stay in isolation.

 

Look, if you’re in panic mode none of that probably made you feel comfortable. Hell you’re probably not even listening anymore. For those of you who stuck with me, you should realize that everything is going to be okay. We as a country have been through far worse things than this. Remember just about 19 years ago we lost about 3,000 people in a single day. I’d like to think we bounced back pretty well from that. Sure it was a little scary at the moment. We didn’t know if there would be other attacks, if the wars were going to be long drawn out wars, or quicker more surgical strikes. Like now, there was a lot of uncertainty back then. But look at how our friends, our family, our neighbors, and fellow countrymen and women bounced back. We’re a resilient bunch when we’ve got our backs against the wall. 

 

For everyone in the other camp, who aren’t concerned about getting sick, j...

]]> full 43 false Hey, good news! The world isn’t ending from this crazy virus that’s spreading around the world, even if it seems like it’ll end any day now.

We all need to take a deep breath and reset ourselves for a minute. We’ll be OK. We’ve dealt with worse. Let’s not panic.

But still wash your hands.

Links & Resources

Transcript Expand

Alright, can we get a reset on 2020? This whole virus situation has gotten a little out of hand hasn’t it?

 

I’m recording this a few days prior to when it will come out – it’s Friday March 20th right now, so I’ll make a few predictions about the state of affairs half a week from now.

 

More states will have placed their entire population on a mandatory lockdown. I think as of right now it’s just California and Illinois that have done so. 

 

Numbers of infections from this virus will have steadily increased, and unfortunately so will deaths.

 

And my final prediction is that toilet paper will become more valuable than US currency. OK, that last one is a bit tongue in cheek. Hopefully it doesn’t come true.

 

So, why does it seem like society is collapsing around us?

 

Is it the media causing us to panic? Are there legitimate concerns that some of us don’t understand or just aren’t taking seriously?

 

The recommendations to prevent infection include all the stuff we’ve heard over the last few weeks. Wash your hands, don’t touch your face, social distancing, and all that shit.

 

Now, I’ve seen two responses to these recommendations. One is complete and utter panic. The world is ending, and none of us will make it out alive. The other can be categorized as complete disregard of those recommendations – fuck it I probably won’t get it, or confusion about the recommendations – I don’t get why everyone is flipping out. They compare the coronavirus to some other virus or disease that no one flips out over.

 

I’m not going to tell you which reaction is right or wrong. I’m not a doctor or infectious disease expert. Do I think washing your hands and staying away from sick people is a good idea? Sure, that all makes sense. It made just as much sense in January as it does now. Do I think the government is overreaching by forcing businesses to close, and mandating citizens to stay in their homes? Absolutely. I still think it’s the right thing for people to do in certain situations like if there are people who are sick in your area, but I don’t think the government should be the ones forcing people to stay in isolation.

 

Look, if you’re in panic mode none of that probably made you feel comfortable. Hell you’re probably not even listening anymore. For those of you who stuck with me, you should realize that everything is going to be okay. We as a country have been through far worse things than this. Remember just about 19 years ago we lost about 3,000 people in a single day. I’d like to think we bounced back pretty well from that. Sure it was a little scary at the moment. We didn’t know if there would be other attacks, if the wars were going to be long drawn out wars, or quicker more surgical strikes. Like now, there was a lot of uncertainty back then. But look at how our friends, our family, our neighbors, and fellow countrymen and women bounced back. We’re a resilient bunch when we’ve got our backs against the wall. 

 

For everyone in the other camp, who aren’t concerned about getting sick, just know that the symptoms from this sickness from what I understand is a bit more involved than just a bad cold or the flu. If you do get sick and require hospitalization, they won’t be treating the virus – there’s no cure for that. They’ll be putting you on a ventilator to allow you to breathe. When my wife was hospitalized last year, she was intubated on a ventilator and it was not a comfortable thing to have shoved down her throat. She was in a coma throughout the process, but it was miserable for her afterwards. I’m not trying to tell you to panic, but maybe heed the advice of your local officials and stay out of public for a bit.

 

Look, no matter where you fall on the panic spectrum, we’re going to come through this OK. We’ll probably even be stronger for it. I heard the President talking at a press conference the other day saying that we’ve learned a lot of things from our response to this. That can only make us better off in the future should some other crisis hit.

 

OK, for anyone who has found themselves working from home for the first time, how’s that going for you? I’ve worked from home for almost 10 years now, so my life hasn’t really been upended all that much.

 

A few bits of advice for you though. It really helps to keep some sort of consistent schedule. Set your alarm for the same time that you usually would to get up for work. Take a shower, eat breakfast, get dressed in real clothes. They don’t have to be fancy, unless you’re getting on a video call to chat with a colleague or client. Take a break for lunch, and check out at a regular time. Don’t work 16 hours if you normally would only work 8 just because your kitchen table is now your office and it’s right there. It’s so convenient to just jump on and finish that one last thing.

 

Trust me, you’ll be better off if you shut it all down and pick it back up tomorrow. You normally would get a bit of time commuting to and from work to decompress, but you don’t get that now. Be sure to take some time for yourself to unwind. Maybe take a walk around the block if you can.

 

If your job allows you to, try to set regular hours. I typically don’t start work until 9 in the morning, and I shut down no later than 5 at night. There may be a one off meeting here or there that has to go outside those hours, but otherwise I work pretty consistent hours.

 

If your kids are home with you while you’re trying to work, try to come up with an off limits area where you can go and not be disturbed. Of course not everyone’s house is set up perfectly for something like this, but even a corner of your bedroom where you can lock the door can be a good spot.

I’ve been using a pair of noise cancelling headphones, which really help cut out the noise from the kids. I mean if they’re standing right next to you and screaming, they won’t do much, but if they’re playing on the other side of the house or in another room, they do a pretty good job blocking out the noise. It’s even better if you get some music going too because you end up focusing on that instead of the kids doing whatever it is that kids do.

 

Look, we’re going to be OK. Some of us will get sick, most won’t. Those that do will for the most part be fine.

 

These times aren’t easy, but if our country is calling for us to literally do nothing, I think we can all rise to the occasion. Generations before us were called to do a lot more, and they prevailed. Let’s not let them down.

]]> 00:16:31 <![CDATA[Living a Successful and Formidable Life]]> Tue, 17 Mar 2020 01:00:00 +0000 Scott DeLuzio https://drive-on-podcast.castos.com/podcasts/2296/episodes/living-a-successful-and-formidable-life In this episode, we wrap up a three part series with guest Lyn Christian. We talk about being successful and how that looks different for everyone. Despite the definition of success being different, the path to becoming successful has a few things in common.

Lyn tells us there are six things people can do to help “tip the scale” in their favor to become successful:

  1. Don’t cling to a goal
  2. Always keep learning
  3. Stay creative
  4. Have a good support network of mentors, coaches, peers, etc.
  5. Take risks
  6. Don’t give up – persist

The definition of success might vary from one person to the next, but ultimately it means being true to ourselves and pursuing our full potential. Being formidable can be thought of as what makes someone a “badass” or what some people refer to as a “rockstar”.

 

Lyn’s company Soul Salt has also offered a generous discount on their Be True course. Normally the course is offered at $199, but listeners of this podcast can get it for only $25*!

Click here to register for the course and use discount code DriveOn to receive the discounted price.

Soul Salt really wants to help out veterans, and I think this is a wonderful thing they are doing.

*A note from Soul Salt: At SoulSalt, we strive to keep our courses affordable, accessible and sustainable. If the cost of this course is restrictive, please drop us a line to explore other resources so that you may enjoy and take part of this opportunity.

Links & Resources

Transcript

Scott DeLuzio:    00:03    Thanks for tuning in to the Drive On Podcast where we talk about issues affecting veterans after they get out of the military. Before we get started, I’d like to ask a favor if you haven’t done so already, please rate and review the show on Apple podcasts. If you’ve already done that. Thank you. These ratings help the show get discovered so it can reach a wider audience and while you’re there, click the subscribe button so that you get notified of new episodes as soon as they come out. If you don’t use Apple podcasts, you can visit Drive On Podcasts.com/subscribe to find other ways of subscribing, including our emails. I’m your host, Scott de Lucio, and now let’s get on with the show.

Scott DeLuzio:    00:44    Hey everyone. Today we are wrapping up a three-part series with my guest, Lyn Christian. And if you haven’t done so already, go back and take a listen to the last two episodes, which are episodes number 40 and 41. In those episodes, Lyn gives us a little background about herself and her company, Soul Salt. We talk about knowing your core values and why knowing them is important. And we also talk about reinventing your career, which is something I think that many veterans are familiar with after transitioning from military life to civilian life. So again, if you haven’t listened to those episodes, go back, give those a listen and then come back and listen to this one. So, welcome back to the show.

Lyn Christian:    01:24    Thank you. It’s my pleasure.

Scott DeLuzio:    01:26    All right, so today we’re going to talk about how to live a successful and formidable life and no pressure here, Lyn, but I expect everyone...

]]> false In this episode, we wrap up a three part series with guest Lyn Christian. We talk about being successful and how that looks different for everyone. Despite the definition of success being different, the path to becoming successful has a few things in common.

Lyn tells us there are six things people can do to help “tip the scale” in their favor to become successful:

  1. Don’t cling to a goal
  2. Always keep learning
  3. Stay creative
  4. Have a good support network of mentors, coaches, peers, etc.
  5. Take risks
  6. Don’t give up – persist

The definition of success might vary from one person to the next, but ultimately it means being true to ourselves and pursuing our full potential. Being formidable can be thought of as what makes someone a “badass” or what some people refer to as a “rockstar”.

 

Lyn’s company Soul Salt has also offered a generous discount on their Be True course. Normally the course is offered at $199, but listeners of this podcast can get it for only $25*!

Click here to register for the course and use discount code DriveOn to receive the discounted price.

Soul Salt really wants to help out veterans, and I think this is a wonderful thing they are doing.

*A note from Soul Salt: At SoulSalt, we strive to keep our courses affordable, accessible and sustainable. If the cost of this course is restrictive, please drop us a line to explore other resources so that you may enjoy and take part of this opportunity.

Links & Resources

Transcript

Scott DeLuzio:    00:03    Thanks for tuning in to the Drive On Podcast where we talk about issues affecting veterans after they get out of the military. Before we get started, I’d like to ask a favor if you haven’t done so already, please rate and review the show on Apple podcasts. If you’ve already done that. Thank you. These ratings help the show get discovered so it can reach a wider audience and while you’re there, click the subscribe button so that you get notified of new episodes as soon as they come out. If you don’t use Apple podcasts, you can visit Drive On Podcasts.com/subscribe to find other ways of subscribing, including our emails. I’m your host, Scott de Lucio, and now let’s get on with the show.

Scott DeLuzio:    00:44    Hey everyone. Today we are wrapping up a three-part series with my guest, Lyn Christian. And if you haven’t done so already, go back and take a listen to the last two episodes, which are episodes number 40 and 41. In those episodes, Lyn gives us a little background about herself and her company, Soul Salt. We talk about knowing your core values and why knowing them is important. And we also talk about reinventing your career, which is something I think that many veterans are familiar with after transitioning from military life to civilian life. So again, if you haven’t listened to those episodes, go back, give those a listen and then come back and listen to this one. So, welcome back to the show.

Lyn Christian:    01:24    Thank you. It’s my pleasure.

Scott DeLuzio:    01:26    All right, so today we’re going to talk about how to live a successful and formidable life and no pressure here, Lyn, but I expect everyone who listens to this wants to instantly become an overnight success.

Lyn Christian:    01:41    yeah,

Scott DeLuzio:    01:41    I’m just kidding with that. I think we all know that we need to put in the work to become successful. One podcast episode isn’t going to push us over that edge, but hopefully we can lead people in the right direction. So, let’s start off with the basics.

Lyn Christian:    01:59    Yeah.

Scott DeLuzio:    01:59    What are we talking about when we use the words like successful and formidable? How would you define those two words, in this context?

Lyn Christian:    02:07    Let’s start with successful because that is something that I feel should be up to everyone to define what successful is. However, I’m going to use some research from Quinn and Quinn from 2002. Let me read something that they said. And instead of successful, they use a different word, you’ll hear it almost immediately. They say being extraordinary does not necessarily mean obtaining a position of honor or glory or even of becoming successful in other people’s eyes. It means being true to self. It means pursuing our full potential. That’s Quinn and Quinn from 2000 in affiliation with our reflected best self-portraits that were studied at Harvard business school and the University of Michigan business school. And I seem to gravitate to this because my opinion, Scott, is that being extraordinary means being successful in your own eyes. And the bottom line to that is I believe, how much of your life did you live being true to yourself?

Lyn Christian:    03:31    And I even encourage people to define what success is for them. At one point I defined success as at the end of my life I’ll ask how soft did my heart remain and how open is my mind? And those will be metrics that I’ll use to decide how successful I was. I would encourage the audience to take the Liberty to define success on their own terms and consider having part of it mean how much time they spend being true to themselves. And also I recognize, I was thinking about your audience this morning. I was out on a hike and I was thinking about coming in and talking to you and granted there’ll be some people listening that will understand this next part. Again, we need to say there are times in our lives when we feel less clear, when we don’t feel as motivated.

Lyn Christian:    04:31    And in those times, perhaps we look at someone that we feel is successful or someone that we have a connection with like we did in our very first discussion together. And we allow them to give us ideas of what success might be and we give them ideas of what it might look like too. Have some guard rails from someone else for a while if we haven’t defined it for ourselves, and then eventually define it for yourself. And the word formidable to me is really at the root of why people call other people a badass now. Or they used to call people a rock star. I think it’s when we find pieces of ourselves that we can emulate in our actions that make us enlivened, enlarged and vital in terms of character and principle and action.  How’s that?

Scott DeLuzio:    05:29    I like it. I like those two definitions; those help clarify what it is that we’re talking about. You know, when we start diving into this here.  I know a lot of times we see people who are, what society deems to be successful, whether it’s sports, a professional athlete or in business or whatever. And we get jealous of those people, because we really don’t know these people. We haven’t grown up with these people. They’re not our family members necessarily. It seems like they’re just an overnight success. I know I teased about being an overnight success in the beginning there, but that rarely, if ever, is the case that they’re an overnight success. Most of the time it takes years of hard work, dedication, perseverance to become an overnight success, doesn’t it?

Lyn Christian:    06:22    Yeah, I agree. Yeah.

Scott DeLuzio:    06:26     And so what is the key, what is the secret sauce, if you will, that allows someone to be successful to become one of these, “overnight successes” where they put in the work and they eventually get there. What is one of the keys to getting into that?

Lyn Christian:    06:50    No, there are several. If somebody wants to go to my website@soulsalt.com and look at our blogs, these kinds of questions are the sorts of things that we typically answer at Soul Salt.  I’m going to give you some fresh insight that’s just on the top of my mind again today. One is consistency consistently.  That doesn’t mean that you’re a machine and you never have faltering. I’m a disciplined athlete and I still need recovery after a big tournament weekend and I still must respect my body and I can’t consistently just hit it all the time. And when I’m talking about consistency, I’m talking about 80 to 90% of the time being on track or moving forward as much as possible, even if it’s just a centimeter. Having something where you’re consistently staying aware of your priorities.

Lyn Christian:    07:56    And I think that’s another element of success and having clarity around what am I going for? And that doesn’t mean that you’re going to have it all the time. It means being well advised in your own heart that there are times when you’re not clear. That’s okay. If you can’t make a decision yet, you don’t have enough information. When it is time to be clear, you can identify what am I really going for? And once you’ve identified that, I think it’s always important to ask, how come? What’s my motivation behind that and check that and see how that aligns with your guiding principles and the goal that you’re setting for yourself or the aspiration? I think it’s really important for me, it’s been important to have people who believe in me and sometimes that’s only been one other human being, and so having one person in your life or more than one, if you can find them, that at least believes in you and from time to time can give you a pat on the back and look in your eyes and you can tell you’re connected because we are human beings and we need to be connected.

Lyn Christian:    09:13    I feel it’s also helpful for us even though we can’t be there 100% of the time to have images of what our best self is. What are our strengths or skills or character traits that we have, the talents that we bring, the things that we’ve learned that we’re good at and lead with those not with our weaknesses. There’s a lot of research that’s been done out of Gallup management that tells us if we focus on our weaknesses, to try to make them a strength, we waste a lot of time. And so I think being successful means, okay, be aware of your weaknesses and manage against them, sandbag against them, make sure that they’re shored up to the point where they can’t trip you up, you’ve mitigated against them. Don’t try to lead your life from those. And then also having a means for focusing because maybe we know what we stand for, maybe we know what our strengths are, but if we can’t manage our focus, we really don’t meet our priorities head on. So, this just sort of a top-level strategic look at success,

Scott DeLuzio:    10:21    I read a book last year, it was called atomic habits, which I’ll link to for anyone who wants to know about that. I’ll link to it in the show notes. But one of the ideas that the book tries to get across is that you don’t try to achieve something instantaneously. And this I think goes along with what you were saying earlier where it’s incremental achievements. Instead of achieving something instantaneously like that overnight success that we might have seen either in the news or whatever. Instead you take small steps to get to where you want to be. If you just get 1% better at something or work to get 1% closer to your goal each day, you’ll eventually achieve that goal. With dieting, for example, you may want to lose 50 pounds, but you can’t expect that all that weight’s going to fall off right away just because you had a salad and bike to work that day.

Scott DeLuzio:    11:22    These are good steps to take in the right direction, but the path to losing 50 pounds is a much longer than just those first two steps. You need to apply those small changes, those little things every day, but at the same time not sabotage yourself by rewarding yourself with something that’s going to take you away from that goal. I had a salad at lunch today because I’m on a diet, so it’s okay, I’ll have some ice cream tonight after dinner. And that’s just going to take away from goal and you’re shooting yourself in the foot. It’s not really going to help you. You want to make those small changes. You want to make them into a new habit for you. Make them a part of who you are and what you do. You start to think of yourself as the person who eats a healthy lunch.

Lyn Christian:    12:10    yes,

Scott DeLuzio:    12:10    The person who takes the stairs instead of the elevator or something like that, and that will help you to stay on the path to whatever your goal is. I’m using dieting as a simple example, but there’s plenty of other goals that people have, whether it’s financial success, instead of going out and spending money on things that you don’t really need, save that money and stock it away and you know, invest it and whatnot, and eventually maybe that five or $10 isn’t really that big of a deal right now. But eventually with the habit of continuously saving that money and investing it and everything like that, eventually that money is going to turn into a significant amount of money and then you’ll be achieving those financial goals.

Lyn Christian:    13:00    That’s consistency. Yeah. And clear that book. James Clair, I think is his name that wrote a Tommy Cabot’s. Yes. One of the things that I’m currently implementing from that book is the 1%, like with my fencing, I’m just working on getting 1% better at say, my flesh or 1% better at a defensive mood and what the statistics and the research in his book indicate 1% better each day. By the end of the year, you’ve improved by 37% overall. That’s consistent persistent, like you said, one way to do it is to not say I’m going out running, but to think of yourself as I am a runner to not say I’m going to invest or I am investing, but to say I am an investor and the words that we use are critical to our success because they’re not just things, they literally hold that when we tag a word that works for us as we talked about in the first interview, it can hold deep meaning for us. And so, finding what we call our self as sometimes just as important as what we’re doing.

Scott DeLuzio:    14:18    Someone who thinks of themselves as a runner is going to be much more likely to wake up in the morning and put on the running shoes and go for a run. And then someone who just says, Oh, this is a thing I must do because I want to lose weight or whatever.

Scott DeLuzio:    14:36   What you think of yourself is much better than trying to force yourself into any, no goals or anything like that. So, it really does help both the mindset and working that 1% to get 1% better each day, really does help. By the end of the year, you’ll be 37% better than you were when you first started, and that’s a huge, significant measurable increase. You might think, 1%, “What is that really?” That’s such a small, insignificant amount. If we’re talking money, if you’re talking on a hundred dollars, you’re talking $1 and whether you have a hundred or $101, it’s not really going to move the needle too much.  But over the course of the year, if you’re continuously getting 1% better over the course of the year, it does become measurable and it becomes a significant amount and then we’re not even into year 2 yet.

Scott DeLuzio:    15:46    You know, if you keep up with this because eventually this becomes a part of who you are.  Year 2 will be just that much easier because now you’ve already convinced yourself that this is who I am. I’m this investor or I’m this runner or I’m this whatever, fill in the blank, whatever it is that you want yourself to be. Year 2 is just going to be that much easier. I did this, it’s really a mind game really.  I did this with myself a couple of years ago where I wanted to challenge myself to do 50,000 pushups and sit ups over the course of the year. And so obviously if I thought of it as a big chunk in like just doing 50,000 today, it wouldn’t have happened and I would’ve felt my arms like limp noodles and I just wouldn’t have done it.

Scott DeLuzio:    16:43    But what I did was I broke it out and I divided out how many days I was going to plan on doing this and I figured out how many I needed to do each day. And it was a small goal that I had to hit every single day. But then when I first started doing it, it was difficult. I had never really wanted to do it, but I said, this is my goal, so I’m just going to force myself to do it. But then eventually I started thinking myself as a person who wakes up in the morning and just does this every morning without fail. It didn’t matter if I was not feeling all that great or if I was tired because I was up late the night before, I just did it no matter what. And then afterwards I felt good about it. Achieving that one little goal, which helps me move on to achieve that big goal which I eventually did hit. I wouldn’t have hit it if I didn’t meet all those little tiny goals. So, 1% doesn’t seem like it’s going to move the needle at all. It could be big.

Lyn Christian:    17:50    I’ve talked to addicts. I’ve coached people who were post addiction and are not actively addicted. And one of them in particular said for 5% of every hour she was sober, meaning maybe she wasn’t drinking or she wasn’t taking drugs. And eventually she extended that to 10% and then more and more per hour until she could go a full hour without it. And then more. And you know, she was at the point where she was killing herself. And I don’t think we can downplay the huge effect of incremental little things. In fact, I just did the math. I know, just looking at some of my training regime, I probably get close to five to 6,000 pushups a year, 30 at a time, three days a week or something. That’s not even when I’m within the gym and maybe we must stop, drop and do 10 pushups and I think 50,000. That’s quite an accomplishment. That’s quite an accomplishment, Scott.

Scott DeLuzio:    19:02    It was. What I ended up doing was a 150 per day every day except for Sundays. So, I would take off Sundays just to give my arms a little rest. Then every day I would just do 150. And it worked out that I came in right around Christmas time that I hit Mecca. So, like anything you’re going to have setbacks, there’s going to be some days where you just don’t because you have an early morning appointment and you can’t make it on your normal schedule or whatever. And so, you don’t make that goal that day, but that’s okay if you get back on track the next day, you never want to miss more than one day in a row.

Lyn Christian:    19:52    I agree. It’s, that’s the consistency of getting right back to it, right?

Scott DeLuzio:    19:56    Yeah, exactly. Now how does being formidable play a role in somebody’s success? You defined it earlier as what makes someone a badass or a rock star, the way people might think of those types of people. How does being formidable…is that like the grit that goes into the determination, what is it that goes into being formidable that plays a role in that person’s success?

Lyn Christian:    20:25    That’s a good question. And I can only answer in my own frame of reference. And again, people who had listened to the very first recording where I talked about supporting people to be their own version of a bad-ass, but we didn’t think of that. Somebody else saw what we were doing and commented on it. So, you’re asking a question about a word that obviously I didn’t make up. It’s a wording, like bad-ass. And if people listened to our first discussion together, they know that we use bad-ass as part of our tagline, supporting people to be an everyday bad ass. We didn’t come up with that for ourselves. People attach that to us because they saw what we were doing. In a similar vein, I was really struggling with a personal challenge for growth. And sometimes when I get a challenge, I think it through and I work it through by throwing myself against a challenge.

Lyn Christian:    21:37    And this particular day I was climbing up a mountain and it was the top of it. You can even see you as covered in clouds. It was a stormy day. It wasn’t a dangerously stormy day, but it was one that I needed to take some precautions, but I still knew I needed to summit. And I needed that challenge to work out in my head and my heart, the turmoil that I was trained to metabolize and something came to me and it was almost poetic and narrative. I wrote it down. I took a picture of what it looked like around me. And when I came down off the mountain, I think I posted it on Facebook. I don’t even think Instagram was around at that moment. And one of my followers who has fought an MMA fight, she’s a well-known scientist right now, with a couple of PhDs, just a wicked smart person. I have deep respect for. She commented and she said, Lyn, you’re just simply formidable. I was like, Oh, what is that word? What does it mean? So how I define that is there’s a place inside of all of us that has a combination of resilience, a combination of being willing to do the right thing, even if it’s hard.

Lyn Christian:    23:05 an ability to let your character lead even when it’s not popular, and to be so solidly planted in who you are in that moment and what you’re going to do and that you’re undaunted. You will do it. To me, that’s experiencing a formidable moment. And I believe we all have the opportunity to feel that. I don’t know if we can feel it all the time or should we, I don’t know the answer to that. What I believe that each person, even if you’re hearing my voice right now and inside of you there is something about you that is formidable, that can be undaunted, that is stronger, the nails, and has wisdom blended with it and deep character. To me, you’re touching on your own formidable stuff.

Scott DeLuzio:    24:17    So it sounds like it’s really the secret sauce to being a success is in the grit, the determination, the stick with it. If you want to make up a word to get to whatever it is that your goal is, whenever, however you define success. Well, you only get there if you stick with it. What are some things that people can do to tip the scale in their favor of being successful? I know that’s a broad question. Obviously everyone’s going to define success a little bit differently, like you mentioned earlier, but what are some of the things that people can do that will make it a little bit more likely that there’ll be successful at the thing that they’re trying to be successful at?

Lyn Christian:    25:11   I have probably six little tidbits of advice. One is don’t cling too tight to what you think that goal must look like. Every significant goal that I have accomplished, including the pertinent partner that I live with, including the room that I’m standing in today, including the lives of my children that I’m connected to, they look a little different or a lot different, but they’re perfectly where they need to be than what I could have imagined. So I had more directional aspirations than directive, if that makes sense. So like one part it’s 50% you focus on it and you stay in tune with that vision that you have and it’s 50% allowing the universe or your higher power or some other force that’s bigger than you to cocreate with you. Something better than you could’ve come up with on your own. So, I feel like even what it is you’re going for doesn’t need to be held onto too tightly.

Lyn Christian:    26:23    That’s one. I also, while I’m working with clients and I’ve applied this for myself, as long as you have a means by which you’re always learning, it seems like the bit of information you need shows up exactly when you need it because you’re learning and adding, going, yeah, you’re, “Oh, I just needed to know that.”  I’m studying chemistry. How did that come into my life? And this relates to my relationship or something. You have a learning track. It was neat. A podcast, you’re reading books, whatever it is you’re watching NPR. You have an ability then to have the information you need show up when you need it. So keep learning. Another one is to stay creative. I think a lot of people forget that. As human beings we’re innately creative and we think, well that’s just for the crazy creative artists or something.

Lyn Christian:    27:16    We are so creative in a gazillion ways that we can’t discount that creativity is a neat, every human, the way you style your hair, the way you dress yourself. There’s the way that you organize your room, those are just some pedestrian everyday ways that you express your creativity. So stay creative and use creativity on a daily basis. It’s almost like it serves the same function as jogging at a stoplight and keeping the body fluid when it’s cold, right? So that when the light turns green you can go. So, there’s something about staying nimble and ready because you are being creative every day. So those are three of the things. Another one is to have some good trusted people on your sideline, coaches, mentors, friends, peers, people who have deep compassion for you. And also we’ll tell you the truth because we can get stuck.

Lyn Christian:    28:15    And I use this term, no one else must understand it, but I think you’ll get the gist of it. We didn’t get stuck in our own navel, in our own narrow view that’s dark and damp and can grow things that are not healthy if we leave it to its own devices. So having outside insight can whack us on the side of the head just when we need it and get us out of tunnel vision. So, having the next one is be willing to take a few risks. They can be tiny risks, they can be big risks, but we all have to stick our neck out a little bit to have a successful life. We have to risk something. And then finally it’s the topic you and I’ve been talking about. Don’t give up. Persist, don’t give up. Persist. I wasn’t planning not to be political.

Lyn Christian:    29:13    We’re in an election year. I wasn’t planning on voting for Elizabeth Warren, but just this week she dropped out of the presidential race and I was curious to listen to her because she seems to me to be somebody who at one point was actually leading her ticket and now she’s out of the race. And I’m curious about what she would say about why. You and I have talked about persistence and she seems so persistent and so as a study on human dynamics, I want it to listen to her interview and I have respect for people who are trying to ameliorate our political system. And I think maybe she had some ideas but listening to her character come forward, what was most interesting was she said, I still have beliefs and things I stand for and even though I’m not in the presidential race, I’m going to work toward those.

Lyn Christian:    30:15    And I thought, that’s the persistent use. You and I are talking about the big prize. That big thing that she was going for is not going to be hers. It’s just not, she didn’t get that support. And the people said no, and yet she will say yes to her cause. To me that’s what we’re talking about with formidable. It doesn’t matter which vantage point you have politically. There are some good people out there trying to help us find our way through this trying time and we need anyone who’s going to be persistent to say I’m not going to give up. And so that I’m not going to give up is what we all need. If it’s our aspiration for a certain job, if it’s our aspiration for a better relationship, if it’s our aspiration to be a better parent, it’s our aspiration physically or financially, don’t give up. Don’t give up.

Scott DeLuzio:    31:16    I like how you laid that out in a six-step process or six different things that you can do to get the scale in your favor in terms of being successful. But I especially, want to go back to the first one. I especially want to talk about that. You said, don’t cling to a goal. Don’t just hold onto something because sometimes you might find out that you’re doing something and it’s not really what you’re good at or what you even want because your goals can change over time. Your definition of success can change over time.

Scott DeLuzio:    32:00    When you’re young, you might think getting a good job, making lots of money, buying a fancy car and all that stuff might be your definition of success. And that it could be debated whether that’s successful, but that might be your own individual definition of success. But then along comes kids and then that definition of success is suddenly going to change. You know, because you’re now not just in it for yourself. You’re in it for your whole family and trying to make sure that they are happy and successful and getting the things that they need. So, success to you might look different at that point. So, it’s interesting. I like that not clinging to a goal. You might try something and just find out that it’s not for you.

Scott DeLuzio:    32:50    And if you keep trying to nail that square peg in a round hole, it’s not going to work. And you can keep pounding it until you’re blue in the face, but it’s just not going to work out. So, I guess it’s okay to just have the liberty to be able to change what your goals are, change what your definition of success is and not feel like you failed at something because you tried whatever that thing is. Going back to the presidential campaign, she tried and it just turned out that it wasn’t in the cards for her, that’s something that’s out of her control at that point because that’s an especially tricky thing to be successful at because you can do all the things that align with your core values and all the things that you believe in. You can do all of those things, but ultimately it’s up to the voters to decide. So, that’s a tricky one to be successful at and hats off to the people who are successful because that’s a lot of work and that’s not a job for me. You won’t be seeing me in politics anytime soon.

Lyn Christian:    34:02    Me neither, they really stick their neck out and it’s a crap shoot at times.

Scott DeLuzio:    34:08    It is. Yeah. And you know, it could bad weather. It could be something that screws up an election for somebody where people just don’t go out to vote because it snowed or something like that, some crazy little thing. It’s not to say that you should give up and quit either. You should just stay true to yourself and like we talked about in previous episodes, stay true to yourself and know what your values are, what your definition of success is and stick with that and move along towards that path.

Lyn Christian:    34:50    Scott, there’s one thing we maybe shouldn’t interject here.  I think you’d agree with this. Sometimes that thing that we try and we would say I’ve failed, it’s not going to happen for me is actually the opening of the thing that really needs to happen. Like sometimes it’s an indication that we’re closing this door on you so that you will actually find the window that you’re supposed to fly out of. So, stop trying to close the window. And so I would encourage people, if they’ve gotten to a point where they really, really, really think they want something and they feel like they’re beating their head against a wall, to just take a moment and look at that wall. That wall doesn’t have arms and legs not coming to you and attacking you. If we are beating our head against the wall, we’re voluntarily going over to it and whacking our self against it. We are punishing ourselves. Yes, there are times too, when you agree that the thing we say we want turns out to not be the thing that we need the most and we’re getting denied it because there’s something other and probably better for us.

Scott DeLuzio:    36:05    Yeah, that’s a very interesting, very important point I should say that just because it’s not working, it doesn’t mean that that’s the end of the world. It may open other doors for you. It may lead you down a path. You may meet other people. You may discover new things about yourself in that process of trying whatever this thing is that you’re maybe not being as successful as you were hoping for. That eventually gets you to that thing that will make you successful. It’s rare to find a 20-year-old, success story.  A 20-year-old person who’s a celebrity success, big time, business owner or anything like that. It’s not easy to do that young.

Scott DeLuzio:    37:04    It’s one of those things that it’s going to take time and you have to try and fail and figure things out along the way,  to eventually get to the point where you’re being a success, some of that trial and error may be readjusting what your definition of success is, but as you go along, you learn things about yourself. And that’s, I think an important thing to know too. And so you don’t feel like a failure just because you didn’t knock it out of the park on day one of trying this new thing or even after the first year of trying this new thing because like you said, these incremental changes are what gets you there. And it may take several years to get you to where you’re going and you just must be okay with that.

Lyn Christian:    37:55    Yeah, I agree. You must realize whatever it is you’ve picked must have a steep learning curve.

Scott DeLuzio:    38:01   So it looks like we are coming up on time here and I’ve really enjoyed this conversation. I’ve enjoyed all our conversations that we’ve had and I think they’re important topics. So thank you so much for joining us again on the show, but in case anyone missed it the last time, where can people go to find out more about you and what your company and what you do?

Lyn Christian:    38:27    Lyn Christian, you can join us@soulsalt.com. You can find me on Instagram at soulsalt or Lyn Christian and on Facebook and Scott, there’s one thing I would want to leave with if I could.  And that is I think your example today of the pushups is resonating with me. I work on upper body strength. If you’re going to be a sword fighter, you need to have certain strength to be able to have that longevity and endurance dream about to keep your fencing arm ready and able to hold onto your weapon. And so, I compare my incremental training, you know, I train six days a week and pushups are part of that and at the end of the year, I’m probably close to five or 6,000 a year.

Lyn Christian:    39:29    And that’s a consistent look at it. You had a specific goal that took that to 10,000 more than I’m leaving casually. If you really are serious about that one thing, and that’s going to be your one thing. Then you don’t do it three times a week. 30 reps like I do each time you do it, the 156 days out of seven, giving yourself a break and realizing they’re going to be some days where it doesn’t work up and you do some catch up. You follow your example, Scott. If there’s something you truly, truly want and you’re listening to this, remember Scott’s example with pushups and there is a concerted laser like focus that you had day in and day out and that’s how you got that phenomenal number.

Scott DeLuzio: Yeah, absolutely.

Lyn Christian: Some days it’s not going to be easy. Some days you’re not going to want to do it, but you just buckle down and you do it and afterwards you feel good about it because you know that you’ve taken that step to achieve whatever the goal is that you have so you stay true to you. Okay.

Scott DeLuzio: Thanks again.

Lyn Christian: Thank you. See you.

Scott DeLuzio:    40:52    Thanks for listening to the Drive On Podcast. If you want to check out more episodes or learn more about the show, you can visit our website, DriveOnPodcast.com we’re on Facebook, Twitter, and Instagram at DriveOnPodcast.

]]> 00:41:12 <![CDATA[Reinventing Your Career Path]]> Tue, 10 Mar 2020 01:00:00 +0000 Scott DeLuzio https://drive-on-podcast.castos.com/podcasts/2296/episodes/reinventing-your-career-path In this episode, Lyn walks us through how we can reinvent our career after the military. As veterans we know the struggles of reinventing our careers all too well. So it’s important to have a roadmap to guide us through that transition.

 

Lyn’s company Soul Salt has also offered a generous discount on their Be True course. Normally the course is offered at $199, but listeners of this podcast can get it for only $25*!

Click here to register for the course and use discount code DriveOn to receive the discounted price.

Soul Salt really wants to help out veterans, and I think this is a wonderful thing they are doing.

*A note from Soul Salt: At SoulSalt, we strive to keep our courses affordable, accessible and sustainable. If the cost of this course is restrictive, please drop us a line to explore other resources so that you may enjoy and take part of this opportunity.

Links & Resources

Transcript Expand Scott DeLuzio: 00:03 Thanks for tuning in to the Drive On Podcast where we talk about issues affecting veterans after they get out of the military. Before we get started, I’d like to ask a favor if you haven’t done so already, please rate and review the show on Apple podcasts. If you’ve already done that. Thank you. These ratings help the show get discovered so it can reach a wider audience and while you’re there, click the subscribe button so that you get notified of new episodes as soon as they come out. If you don’t use Apple podcasts, you can visit DriveOnPodcast.com/subscribe to find other ways of subscribing, including our email. I’m your host, Scott DeLuzio, and now let’s get on with the show.
Scott DeLuzio: 00:44 Hey everyone. Today my guest is Lyn Christian, who is the founder of an organization called Soul Salt. You might recognize Lyn from last week’s episode where we talked about figuring out what your core values are, why it’s important to know your core values, and how knowing all of that helps us make decisions that are true to ourselves. I’d encourage you to go back and give that episode a listen if you haven’t done so already. You can find out more about Lyn and her background and what she does in that episode. Today though, we’re going to talk about how we can reinvent our career paths. This episode we’ll be a dive into something that is especially important to service members as they transition out of the military and back into civilian life. I think we’re all familiar with the concept of reinventing a career.
Scott DeLuzio: 01:30 There’s many examples of famous people who have done it. Ronald Reagan and Arnold Schwarzenegger were actors before getting into politics, Jeff Bezos worked in computer science and finance before launching Amazon. I could probably come up with dozens more examples like this, but we get the point. The problem though, is that it might look easy to reinvent your career when you look at some of these celebrity examples, but, it’s not always that easy. So, Lyn, welcome back to the show. Let’s jump right in and talk about why people have such a hard time when they pivot in their careers.
Lyn Christian 02:05 Scott, that’s a great question. And it’s an astute observation that it looks easy when you see somebody else doing a jump from a career. They reinvent, they’re doing something different. It looks incredibly easy from the outside...]]> full 41 false In this episode, Lyn walks us through how we can reinvent our career after the military. As veterans we know the struggles of reinventing our careers all too well. So it’s important to have a roadmap to guide us through that transition.

 

Lyn’s company Soul Salt has also offered a generous discount on their Be True course. Normally the course is offered at $199, but listeners of this podcast can get it for only $25*!

Click here to register for the course and use discount code DriveOn to receive the discounted price.

Soul Salt really wants to help out veterans, and I think this is a wonderful thing they are doing.

*A note from Soul Salt: At SoulSalt, we strive to keep our courses affordable, accessible and sustainable. If the cost of this course is restrictive, please drop us a line to explore other resources so that you may enjoy and take part of this opportunity.

Links & Resources

Transcript Expand Scott DeLuzio: 00:03 Thanks for tuning in to the Drive On Podcast where we talk about issues affecting veterans after they get out of the military. Before we get started, I’d like to ask a favor if you haven’t done so already, please rate and review the show on Apple podcasts. If you’ve already done that. Thank you. These ratings help the show get discovered so it can reach a wider audience and while you’re there, click the subscribe button so that you get notified of new episodes as soon as they come out. If you don’t use Apple podcasts, you can visit DriveOnPodcast.com/subscribe to find other ways of subscribing, including our email. I’m your host, Scott DeLuzio, and now let’s get on with the show.
Scott DeLuzio: 00:44 Hey everyone. Today my guest is Lyn Christian, who is the founder of an organization called Soul Salt. You might recognize Lyn from last week’s episode where we talked about figuring out what your core values are, why it’s important to know your core values, and how knowing all of that helps us make decisions that are true to ourselves. I’d encourage you to go back and give that episode a listen if you haven’t done so already. You can find out more about Lyn and her background and what she does in that episode. Today though, we’re going to talk about how we can reinvent our career paths. This episode we’ll be a dive into something that is especially important to service members as they transition out of the military and back into civilian life. I think we’re all familiar with the concept of reinventing a career.
Scott DeLuzio: 01:30 There’s many examples of famous people who have done it. Ronald Reagan and Arnold Schwarzenegger were actors before getting into politics, Jeff Bezos worked in computer science and finance before launching Amazon. I could probably come up with dozens more examples like this, but we get the point. The problem though, is that it might look easy to reinvent your career when you look at some of these celebrity examples, but, it’s not always that easy. So, Lyn, welcome back to the show. Let’s jump right in and talk about why people have such a hard time when they pivot in their careers.
Lyn Christian 02:05 Scott, that’s a great question. And it’s an astute observation that it looks easy when you see somebody else doing a jump from a career. They reinvent, they’re doing something different. It looks incredibly easy from the outside, just like social media makes people look like their lives are a hundred times better than they probably are. And the truth of it is there are some dynamics going on that make it so that it’s far more daunting and yet it’s doable. It takes courage, it takes determination and it takes a few strategies. Here are some of the reasons why it’s difficult. Number one, a lot of us don’t realize, but it has to do with our neuro networks. So, imagine something that you’re good at that you now don’t even have to think about. Like brushing your teeth, tying your shoes, driving to work.
Lyn Christian 03:03 Those kinds of things are habits. And when we are working toward a new identity, we must think differently. We must behave differently. We must have confidence in ourselves that we can do those other things. So that’s one of the biggest milestones. It’s in our head. Another one is we don’t always get into the prefrontal cortex, which is the executive brain right here behind the third eye chakra in your forehead and see what else is possible. We see other people doing things, but we’re not often encouraged to see what’s possible for us. And if we do see what’s possible for us, we often then critique it immediately. Well, I don’t know how I can make a living at that. And so, a lot of it is really, it sounds trite, but it’s in our head. We really mess ourselves up with our thought patterns. So that’s one thing. How’s that?
Scott DeLuzio: 03:59 Yeah, that makes a lot of sense. I think you probably could narrow down quite a few problems that we have, just people in general, it’s in your head and you psych yourself out sometimes trying to figure out how to do these things. I’m no stranger to reinventing my career since I started working at age 16 over 20 years ago now. I’ve had about 11 different jobs. Now some of those were temporary like beer money type jobs during college, so maybe it’s not fair to include those in the mix. Others were working concurrently, so it’s not like I just worked for a year or two and then quit.
Scott DeLuzio: 04:43 The other jobs that were more professional jobs that people start working at right after college and they stick around sometimes throughout retirement. They have that one job for their entire career. For me though, I became dissatisfied with the work that I was doing. I started to lack the enthusiasm for the job, and it became harder and harder to get out of bed in the morning to go to work. I know I made some mistakes when reinventing my own career when I was changing those jobs. What are some of the mistakes that people oftentimes make? Maybe even incorporate how someone’s values tie into this whole equation?
Lyn Christian 05:27 Well, let’s talk about the mistakes first and what to do about them. And then let’s talk about the core values. Is that okay? So, one of the mistakes that we make is what you just mentioned. A lot of people don’t do what you just did, Scott. Sometimes you must look back to look forward. So, if you look back and go, “Oh look, I did this when I was 16. I did this when I was 17.” And you just discounted that you did something because you just need a beer. Okay. That is a skill to be able to just say, I’m just going to go get a job because I need some cash. That’s a skill you can use during reinvention because even though you may not make a jump from where you are right now to that perfect landing spot, that will be your next career.
Lyn Christian 06:13 You’re going to need what I call bridges and ladders to get you to a place where you’re earning an income and you have some space where you can start to reinvent. So, if you look to your past for the very first time you had a job to where you are now, you can see that you’ve done many things. Even if you’ve only been in the army or if you’ve only been with one corporation or you’ve only been with three, what were some of your roles? You didn’t stay stagnant and the fact that you were able to transform. That’s one of the mistakes we make is not seeing how adaptable we are as human beings and not realizing that within each person are many possible selves. The self that shows up in his bartender is oneself. The self that is willing to go and volunteer at a preschool and help children learn how to make kites is another self.
Lyn Christian 07:08 So you, you look at these possible selves instead of thinking, I am this one person and maybe I can do 12 things with my life, it’s like, you’re many sorts of opportunities inside of you because you have strengths, you have values, you have aspirations, you have a number of things. It’s like a big giant gumball machine full of different material that could be dispensed and put together to form a new shape. And you could do that shape for five years and then you go back to the drawing board and you want a different color in a different shape to do something else for 10, so that’s one of the mistakes. Another mistake is thinking, so I’ve been in the army and I did this and this and this. Now I don’t know what to do with myself. Well, college students are a lot like that.
Lyn Christian 07:53 Attorneys are a lot like that. It’s hard for you to spend so much time getting trained. And then thinking that that leads to a linear path. I learned this skill and this skill and this skill. So now this is what I can do. We think that’s a linear path and to prove that, I’m just going to give you some majors that people could study in college and a job and you just tell me, Scott, does it make sense? It wasn’t a linear path from what they studied to what they ended up doing. So, one individual studied art. Would it make sense that the job they could have is to be a cartoonist?
Scott DeLuzio: Sure.
Lyn Christian: Another person maybe studied Asian American studies. Would it be plausible that they could teach English as a second language in Korea? Okay. Make that connection. Okay. Another person who studied chemistry, could you see them going on to be veterinarian?
Scott DeLuzio: 08:57 Potentially. There probably would need to be some additional studies there. So, I mean there in the sciences, so I can, I can see that.
Lyn Christian 09:08 A psychologist, somebody who studies psychology could become a psychotherapist. Could you see that?
Scott DeLuzio: Yeah.
Lyn Christian: And somebody who studied geography could become a high school geography teacher, certainly. So now that makes sense. And that’s how we think. That’s one of the mistakes we make is thinking we must connect the dots in this linear pattern. But the truth is the person who studied art ended up as a special prosecutor in a district attorney’s office. The person who studied Asian American studies became a bond trader on wall street. The chemist decided they didn’t like the sciences. They went to Korea and started teaching English. The geography major became an editor at a major publishing house. The psychologist became the cartoonist in political cartoons. So yes, so that one came out of a little bit out of left field, but you can still see that and so, with the mistakes we make is being too logical.
Lyn Christian 10:14 The thing we want to do is instead of being logical, be experimental. In the path of re-invention, a mistake we make is thinking our way there. If I just think hard enough, I just did stay in my head long enough, I’ll figure it out. The truth is you must experiment with it. You must discover; you must not know. You must be like a kid, go into the toy room and play with some of the toys and see which ones you like. Go to the smorgasbord and taste some of the food and see which ones you like. We must experiment and discover and not know, before we can finally have it distill upon us what’s that next move? So how do core values come into this? Core values play a big part because they can stand as your anchor. Those can stand as a compass. You wouldn’t even want to start exploring fields of study, crafts, trades or you wouldn’t want to look at job opportunities that pull you out of your integrity.
Scott DeLuzio: 11:17 And that’s a good point too, because you might be looking at a job where, I don’t tend to get into politics here, but you might think of someone who has
Scott DeLuzio: 11:33 a skill. Maybe it’s in marketing or something like that. And there’s a political campaign that goes against their beliefs and their values that’s hiring a marketing director type person. That wouldn’t make a great job because it’s going to eat them up inside that they’re promoting this candidate that is against all the things that they are for or vice versa. And that probably wouldn’t be a great opportunity. They wouldn’t be very fulfilled or very happy with that type of job. It’s hard too because a lot of times people put on their work face and then their home face and then their friend’s face and they have all these different personas, and they tie all of that into who they are. It’s hard when you do that; when you’re trying to juggle all these different personas, it’s much easier if you’re just being true to who you are, just keep that active.
Lyn Christian 12:42 Well, I was going to say that in the end, your values are adaptable. So, they’re multifaceted. There’s only a limited amount of jobs you could do that if you really know your values, you can see ways that your values might adapt to another, even it’s a bridge job for a short term. Like I have a client who stopped becoming a professional piercer and he has a dream to open a coffee shop. So, he’s working at a local bar that is known for their beer and burgers. And he is in alignment with working there because he knows that it’s hospitality and he’s learning something for the future. So, he can see he’s aligned, and he didn’t even think that his values would fit in because he doesn’t drink, would fit into a bar and burger joint in the interim. But he’s learning the hospitality and what it’s like some day to be a barista. Well, they’ve now asked him to be a bartender. So, he’s elevating himself because he can see a connection between what he values most and what they need from him.
Scott DeLuzio: 13:58 I like the examples that you gave earlier too about the different careers where you wouldn’t necessarily see some of these people making that jump from one career to another. I’m thinking of myself in this where if you looked at me back when I was in college studying for an accounting degree, you wouldn’t expect that I would have become a soldier. I do web development and software development, and none of that has anything to do really with the degree that I earned in accounting. I was able to take some of those leaps and experiment, like you’re talking about to figure out what
Scott DeLuzio: 14:46 I was good at and what I enjoyed doing. Throughout my career, which I’m fortunate that I was able to make some of those leaps, but the first job I had out of college was in accounting. It was for a CPA firm. And towards the end of my time at that job, I didn’t think too far outside of the box to try to figure out what my next move would be. I ended up in corporate finance. So it wasn’t that big of a stretch, you know, it was still in the financial area. So, I wasn’t thinking much further than that general realm of finance, which is significantly limited. The type of jobs that were available to me. Had I thought something a little bit broader, I would’ve had a lot more jobs that were available to me.
Lyn Christian 15:40 Well, Scott, can we break that down just a little bit? So, another mistake that we make when re-inventing, and I know you know this, you’ve done it. I’ve done it, I’ve reinvented at least seven times. Here is one of the main things that people get concerned about. They get worried that they’re wasting their time, their energy and their money that they put into their degree. When you see where you are right now, do you feel like you wasted your education?
Scott DeLuzio: 16:11 No, not at all. As a matter of fact, without that, I don’t see that I would have gotten to where I am because there’s more to it than just, but the numbers and accounting that you learned there. You learn a whole lot more by being in school and getting that education. So, then the work experience that I gained over the years too, working for various companies and seeing how they’re run helped me now as an entrepreneur to run my own business.
Lyn Christian 16:44 Yeah. And can we go deeper into that? So, another example for people that are listening within your own story, really great example of what I’m talking about. When I go back to that gumball machine. So, we sometimes make a mistake that we get into a mindset that we’re just poured into this mold. Like you could have said, okay, I studied accounting, so it makes sense. I’m working with a finance company, but really when we go back to where you were in those classes, there’s a part of you that’s deliberate, a part of you that can slow down and see the details part of you that can use analysis and logic. Would you agree?
Scott DeLuzio: Yeah.
Lyn Christian: And they afforded you the opportunity to understand the field of accounting and to work in the world of finance. We go back to those seminal pieces of you deliberate, probably see patterns as well, logical. All those things that we just mentioned are feeding your ability to work in web development. So that’s what I’m talking about is when we look at ourselves as possible cells instead of jobs or roles or some kind of name on an org chart for what your title was, and we’d go back to what are you able to do? How do you think, how do you respond? Those seeds can always translate into something. Does that make sense?
Scott DeLuzio: 18:12 Yeah, I think so. I think a lot of times, when you’re talking about that mold, I think that’s a good example where people feel like they must fit in this mold. A lot of times people sort of feel like they become tied to their identity of what they do. This might go back to the point of why people have a hard time when they try to pivot in their careers, but people will say, I’m an engineer and I’m an electrician. I’m a plumber. The same way that they might say I’m a human. That last one you can’t change. But we think of our careers almost in the same way where we tie that to our identity. You know who we are, we don’t feel like we can change it no matter how miserable. Maybe we might even be with the job that we’re doing, but we feel like we’re stuck because I am that plumber or accountant or lawyer or whatever the job may be. So, how can we break that bond between our career and our identity? How do we allow ourselves to let go of that?
Lyn Christian 19:16 Yeah, there’s probably an answer for that for every person because we can do it in a unique way, but I can give strategies and then people can apply this. One of the ways to give yourself some time, I call them the three Rs of reinvention. The first R is revealing your best self to yourself, identity, your core values. And when I say best self to yourself, it’s like, when did somebody give you a challenge, a formal challenge and you took it on, and you beat it? What was it activated then? That’s a reflection of your best self. Maybe there were challenges that were informal. Maybe you had a friend and you were supporting them, and you guys understand, let’s say for you for instance, Scott, you understand what it’s like to transition after being in the services. So, you go to show up for this friend because she’s giving a speech at a local community event and you find out she has laryngitis and she writes on a napkin, please tell them, please speak to them.
Lyn Christian 20:20 You do the speech and you find out that you really love it and that you were good at it and people got value. Suddenly you see another part of you, maybe you see that you can think on the fly or maybe you’re passionate about the topic, whatever it reveals to you. So, the first step is spending time revealing identity to yourself. Noticing when people have acknowledged you and giving you praise and noting that notice when you felt strong and you want to go do more activities like that. Keeping a list of pieces of you that are your best reflect itself. In fact, it’s such a thing as RBS reflected best self. Not, maybe you can with RBF, which is something else, but RBS is reflected best self. And then after you’ve reflected on that, take those elements and go to the next R, which is research, which can take the form of an experiment, a discovery and adventure.
Lyn Christian 21:16 Go out and do something. Go volunteer. Take a part-time job, pull out a project. I have a reinventor right now from France and she’s making a small project out of creating a product she’s going to sell at a local farmer’s market, and she may even get some crowd funding for it. So, she’s experimenting with this piece of her that is making a product that has a cause and her entrepreneurship. So, she’s out there playing with this microcosm, she just has a DOB. She doesn’t have an entity, a business. She doesn’t know if she’s going to be an entrepreneur. She has a full-time job. So, she’s researching, experimenting, discovery. And then after you do that, give yourself some reflective time. Sometimes we don’t know who we are until we see what we’ve done and sometimes we need people to reflect to us what was the value of what we did?
Lyn Christian 22:09 Who did you see active? How did this help you? So, we do some reflection. We go back and put this all together, add it to what we know about ourselves. Have another revelation of what else we can do or how to extend that first experiment and then do another cycle of research and reflection. So, it reveals something to yourself. Let it occur to you. Do some research through experimentation and trying even going to finding other people. I have someone who reinvented into, she now owns a pole and dance studio. What happened was she saw a pole dancer that was competitive who was earning a medal at a competition and she was like, I’m going to use my gymnastic and my dance background and I’m going to do that someday. I’m going to be number one. And she did. She was in five years later, she worked up to becoming the gold medalist at a United States event in pole dancing.
Lyn Christian 23:04 Today, she has a studio. So, she had to reflect, and it wasn’t some piece of herself that she reflected at 10% of our goals may come from seeing somebody doing something that interests us. So, she put some attention toward that. She did research on it, she played with it. She accomplished something. She came back and reflected and went, what does that tell me? Should I keep competing? No. Now I want to put my dance and my pool together and create a studio. So, it’s a cycle where you do months, years. I mean, honestly that’s another mistake that we think we can just do it in a snap. You can get a bridge job in a snap, but to reinvent the fastest, I’ve had a reinvention client do it as six months. And you can imagine why you don’t want to just jump out of the frying pan into a fire and find out the next thing you jumped into; you don’t like any better.
Scott DeLuzio: 23:56 Right. Yeah. And I think that was maybe one of the mistakes that I made at least during one of the career transitions that I made was, it was more that I was running away from a job that I didn’t like than it was me running to a job that was offering a more promising career for me or a better experience, better work environment, whatever the issues were that I had. It was probably more of running away from the old job and just whatever’s available, let me grab this. It was very much like jumping out of the pot right into the fire. It turned out it wasn’t much better where I was going.
Lyn Christian 24:47 and, you know, maybe we can reframe that. Maybe it was a mistake and maybe it was just a reiteration. I’m sure, I don’t want that work life.
Scott DeLuzio: 24:56 There’s certainly positive aspects of that. I was able to reaffirm basically that that was not the type of type of work that I was interested in. It was a similar job for a different company, but it wasn’t exactly my cup of tea and it wasn’t what I wanted to be doing. So, at least I know now, not to make that same mistake again. There’s certainly a positive spin to that that we can take away from there.
Lyn Christian 25:31 Well and that’s a good point too because we are going to make some miss fires. Like one of my jobs was to become a real estate agent because I thought I could do it on the side, earn some more cash, still raise my children have my day job. And when I got into it, I couldn’t know until I listed and sold three homes just like that. Really quickly. I really didn’t like it and I didn’t want to be on call by people. So, I could have said mistake. However, I learned I could be really good at taking tests and getting through a course part-time, which helped me later on to get my PMP, my project management certification later when I needed that to raise my kids with the project management office. So, I think that’s the other thing is to your audience, if you have the growth mindset and you don’t see things as failure, but you see them as, I didn’t reach my goal yet. The warrior in you must always be learning. And if you go in, and I know this from my own combat arts as a fencer, the warrior in us must constantly learn. If we go in just to win and think there’s a win or a loss and we will land on one side or the other, we limit to the opportunities of what every experiment gives us. So, approach every experiment, every part of reinvention, like the warrior as a learning experience, not a win-loss.
Scott DeLuzio: 26:55 That’s a great way to think of it. Everything good or bad, we can learn from whatever experiences you go through. They could be complete and utter failures on the surface, but if you don’t learn something from it, if you don’t succeed at whatever it is that you try and you don’t learn from that mistake and you go and you do it again, kind of like I did when I switched that career, you know that probably wasn’t the best outcome. But now that I’ve learned from that, I was able to take that away and now I’m able to have that positive side to it where I at least have that knowledge now knowing that that’s not the career path I really want to go back to down the road.
Lyn Christian 27:53 yeah,
Scott DeLuzio: 27:54 Let’s go now to more specific to the service members, the military people who are now transitioning out of the military, their time in the service is over. Now they’re becoming civilians all over again. I’ve talked to several veterans on the show who’ve struggled with that same transition and they felt like they couldn’t let go of that past that they’ve had in the military. They struggle to find that new career. What is it that I’m good at? As an infantryman, there’s no real civilian job that directly correlates, like we were talking before with the college degrees and the jobs, an artillery man isn’t exactly going to have a civilian occupation that’s going to have the same type of qualifications or whatever. You do learn a hell of a lot when you’re in the military. And it’s more than just your job. So, what would be some of the advice that you might have for people who are reinventing themselves, transitioning from that military to civilian career?
Lyn Christian 29:21 One thing I would do is to make a one pager. I’m borrowing this from a gentleman who was a drug dealer and smuggled drugs globally. He oversaw millions and millions of dollars of budget. International security could hack international codes. I’m working with people across the globe and finally he spent time in prison and when he got out, his wife was like, you need to go get a job. You’re driving me crazy. And he said, who’s going to hire me? I mean, I don’t know how to do anything. I’ve spent time in prison, so if somebody is limited, that guy, you could see logistically why he might feel limited. His wife gave him a challenge that I’m going to give your audience, I’m going to modify it. The challenge is just a little bit, she said, go ahead and list out all the things that you can do.
Lyn Christian 30:14 Like you did run a budget. You did hack NSA, you did do this, you did do that. And so, what he did is he put it together and then they posted it. I think it was in Toronto. They posted it in the Toronto Post or their big newspaper and he had like 1600 people calling him wanting to hire him. So, here’s the modification. Take all these things that you know you can do, pieces of your identity. Don’t try to put them into a career. Do what this guy did. Place them as skillset, talents, things that you like, things that you’ve been told you’re good at and make a one pager and then meet somebody for coffee or meet somebody for lunch or post it on your Facebook page and say, if you were in my shoes, who would you talk to?
Lyn Christian 31:06 I need to find a job or I need to do some sort of reinvention, who would hire me? Because other people’s imaginations will see your possibilities. I even think attorneys who have been working a while, I’ve recently worked with a trademark attorney who was just, I call it almost crippled in the brain like we can be when we’ve only done this in the army. We’ve “only” been in the army. It’s like, oh hell, don’t say that to me. That’s not an only, you know the character, the courage that goes behind that. You can’t train that, that comes with you. And that’s more valuable to me than skill. So if we get into those mindsets where we can only do this thing, we don’t see opportunity, it’s just as hard for this patent attorney to reinvent as it would be for somebody coming out of the army because your brain’s in that hamster wheel of, I can just do this and I’m really good at it and I can earn money doing this, but now I can’t because I want to do something different.
Lyn Christian 32:11 So create a one pager, get other people to talk to you about it. Another thing you can do is join a group that’s reinventing because they may know other things. Soul Salt, we have groups. We have one happening right now where people come in and we hold their hand for 30 days at a time and they create, right now we’re just working on identity. What else do you have in there besides the things that you thought you’ve always used day in and day out? Who are you with your core? We spend 30 days on that. The next thing we’re going to do is spend 30 days on finding out what we’re good at and strong and we’re going to start spending the next 30 days doing experiments with those things. So, your eyes could do that just from hearing me 30 days, revealing identity.
Lyn Christian 32:55 Find those core values. Go back to the last episode. Get in the show notes, find out how to do that. Then find out what are your strengths, where are you strong, where are you working from? And I’m using this metaphorically from muscle where you love doing what you’re doing and you’re good at it. And then the third, next 30 days, spend some time putting experiments together based on those things that you found out about yourself. Try some ludicrous things. I once had a managing editor from Reuters of North America, decided that what she was going to do, because she had been a journalist, but she loved paper, she loved writing. She decided to make cards. So, she spent a year in her reinvention making cards. She still makes cards and she’s founded, a volunteer group that makes cards for people, shut ins during the holidays. That’s not sustaining her with her livelihood, but that became a hobby that she found. So those are just some ideas. Does that help Scott?
Scott DeLuzio: 33:57 Yeah, I think it does. I want to go back to something that you said here, sometimes people have that mindset of “I was just in the military or they don’t think of all the other things like outside of their job, whether they’re military police or they’re in finance or whatever their job is in the military. They don’t think outside of that. All the other experiences that they had. I’ve given the example of someone who might administer it like a drug test, like a urinalysis test as part of their job, they might be something else that’s not their specific job, but they were part of the group of people who were administering that test while in the military, right.
Scott DeLuzio: 34:57 That goes to show that they had integrity, that they can be trusted because they’re not going to allow somebody to cheat on that drug test and that they had those types of values. So, you know, thinking outside of the box of all the other things that you’ve done, sometimes you might sign out military equipment that might be worth millions of dollars, and so you’re responsible for millions of dollars’ worth of military equipment, whether it’s a vehicle or some other equipment. You can be trusted with that type of stuff. So, I think that’s a big thing to include in that list. Stuff like that where you look at all of the different things that you have done throughout your career, no matter how small you might think they are, signing out a vehicle that might have $1 million worth of equipment in it might just seem like, well, I’m just doing my job well, so what, you’re doing your job but you know, you also are responsible for that equipment as well, you know?
Scott DeLuzio: 36:10 That’s a big thing and I think people undervalue that aspect of the military experience.
Lyn Christian 36:17 Yes. I think so too. And I want your audience to hear this. Those of us in the civilian work world, look at what you’ve done and when you breakdown, I mean, those things sound really bad ass to us. They’re not even thinking, maybe even dream somebody did. We didn’t even think about it. And it’s like, Oh, well that’s cool. Well, if you can manage a budget there or if you can be trustworthy to handle those tests. Yeah, there’s something inside of you. Let’s look and see what we might have in our company that would fit. It’s like the prophet is always rejected at home and we reject our own profitability in what we’ve done in the past in the army, because we can’t see the link between what we did and somebody else has seen some value. So, you must get out of your own way. Because again, I’ll tell you as a civilian, anytime I talk to a veteran and they tell me the things they did, I’m like, Whoa.
Scott DeLuzio: 37:21 It becomes commonplace because it’s just what everyone does when they’re in the military, and that’s unfortunately the attitude that people end up having is, Oh, it’s just part of the job. And so of course I did that because I had to, that was my job at the time. Don’t undervalue it, I guess is the message that I’m trying to get across there. So, Lyn, it’s been great having you on the show again. We’re coming up on time and it seems like time just flies by when we get to talk. Could you remind people where they can go to find out more about you and your organization, for anyone who maybe didn’t listen to the last episode?
Lyn Christian 38:07 Yeah, so we can be found on our website, which is SoulSalt.com. We’re in Salt Lake City. You can find us online on our website. We do have a lot of blogs about reinvention. You can follow us on Instagram or Facebook. And you can also follow me, LYN and Christian, I’m mostly on Instagram, but I do occasionally post on Facebook. And then every Tuesday morning, nine o’clock, typically mountain time, we do a Facebook live. We’ve talked often about some of these topics that I’m talking to you about. If you miss those when it’s live, you can also go back and just find them on our Facebook page. And you also have a SoulSaltCoaching. We have a YouTube channel that people could subscribe to and get our latest videos.
Scott DeLuzio: 39:02 Perfect. And we’ll have links to all of that in the show notes, and so that you can click there and go subscribe and find Lyn in all the places on the internet that she hangs out. So, thank you again for being on the show and I look forward to talking to you again soon.
Lyn Christian 39:18 My pleasure. Thank you.
Scott DeLuzio: 39:24 Thanks for listening to the Drive On Podcast. If you want to check out more episodes or learn more about the show, you can visit our website, DriveOnPodcast.com we’re on Facebook, Twitter, and Instagram at DriveOnPodcast. ]]> 00:39:44 <![CDATA[Knowing Your Core Values]]> Tue, 03 Mar 2020 01:00:00 +0000 Scott DeLuzio https://drive-on-podcast.castos.com/podcasts/2296/episodes/knowing-your-core-values The Army’s core values can be summed up in the acronym LDRSHIP: Loyalty, Duty, Respect, Selfless Service, Honor, Integrity, and Personal Courage. While many of these values may resonate with us still long after leaving the military, they don’t necessarily define our own core values.

In this episode, Lyn Christian talks to us about the importance of identifying our core values. She gives us some tips on how to evaluate ourselves to help us find our own core values.

Lyn’s company Soul Salt has also offered a generous discount on their Be True course. Normally the course is offered at $199, but listeners of this podcast can get it for only $25*!

Click here to register for the course and use discount code DriveOn to receive the discounted price.

Soul Salt really wants to help out veterans, and I think this is a wonderful thing they are doing.

*A note from Soul Salt: At SoulSalt, we strive to keep our courses affordable, accessible and sustainable. If the cost of this course is restrictive, please drop us a line to explore other resources so that you may enjoy and take part of this opportunity.

Links & Resources

Transcript Expand Scott DeLuzio: 00:00 Thanks for tuning in to the Drive On Podcast where we talk about issues affecting Veterans after they get out of the military. Before we get started, I’d like to ask a favor if you haven’t done so already, please rate and review the show on Apple podcast. If you’ve already done that. Thank you. These ratings help the show get discovered so we can reach a wider audience. And while you’re there, click the subscribe button so that you get notified of new episodes as soon as they come out. If you don’t use Apple podcast, you can visit DriveOnPodcasts.com/subscribe to find other ways of subscribing, including our email list. I’m your host, Scott DeLuzio, and now let’s get on with the show.
Scott DeLuzio: 00:44 Hey everyone. Today my guest is Lyn Christian. She is a founder of Soul Salt and a motivational speaker. Lyn speaks on topics related to leadership, time management, career reinvention, and how to find your purpose and live a badass life. So, Lyn, thank you for being on the show. Welcome. Why don’t you tell us a little bit about yourself and what you do?
Lyn Christian: 01:08 Sure. So, I grew up in rural Utah. My father was a Marine from the Korean War. And so, I grew up with a jarhead uniform in my father’s closet that he would put on occasionally. And so, I grew up in a very rural setting and so I would have a lot of freedom. I got my chores completed. I could ride my bike down to the family farm, saddle up my pony and be gone for the rest of the afternoon. So, I knew a lot of freedom. I grew up and decided that when I was in high school, I thought I wanted to be an attorney because I was good at debate in high school. And in every debate, I was in for the three years I was in high school, each time I got the highest points.
Lyn Christian: 01:59 And so I thought, well, it’s out of the speaker’s presets kind of pointing me to an aptitude I have. I should probably develop that. And of course, I thought, well, the logical thing is to go study political history and social science and then go get a lot of greens. And, in high school I had some habits that were sort of pulling me one way. I was running and training for a track te...]]> full 40 false The Army’s core values can be summed up in the acronym LDRSHIP: Loyalty, Duty, Respect, Selfless Service, Honor, Integrity, and Personal Courage. While many of these values may resonate with us still long after leaving the military, they don’t necessarily define our own core values.

In this episode, Lyn Christian talks to us about the importance of identifying our core values. She gives us some tips on how to evaluate ourselves to help us find our own core values.

Lyn’s company Soul Salt has also offered a generous discount on their Be True course. Normally the course is offered at $199, but listeners of this podcast can get it for only $25*!

Click here to register for the course and use discount code DriveOn to receive the discounted price.

Soul Salt really wants to help out veterans, and I think this is a wonderful thing they are doing.

*A note from Soul Salt: At SoulSalt, we strive to keep our courses affordable, accessible and sustainable. If the cost of this course is restrictive, please drop us a line to explore other resources so that you may enjoy and take part of this opportunity.

Links & Resources

Transcript Expand Scott DeLuzio: 00:00 Thanks for tuning in to the Drive On Podcast where we talk about issues affecting Veterans after they get out of the military. Before we get started, I’d like to ask a favor if you haven’t done so already, please rate and review the show on Apple podcast. If you’ve already done that. Thank you. These ratings help the show get discovered so we can reach a wider audience. And while you’re there, click the subscribe button so that you get notified of new episodes as soon as they come out. If you don’t use Apple podcast, you can visit DriveOnPodcasts.com/subscribe to find other ways of subscribing, including our email list. I’m your host, Scott DeLuzio, and now let’s get on with the show.
Scott DeLuzio: 00:44 Hey everyone. Today my guest is Lyn Christian. She is a founder of Soul Salt and a motivational speaker. Lyn speaks on topics related to leadership, time management, career reinvention, and how to find your purpose and live a badass life. So, Lyn, thank you for being on the show. Welcome. Why don’t you tell us a little bit about yourself and what you do?
Lyn Christian: 01:08 Sure. So, I grew up in rural Utah. My father was a Marine from the Korean War. And so, I grew up with a jarhead uniform in my father’s closet that he would put on occasionally. And so, I grew up in a very rural setting and so I would have a lot of freedom. I got my chores completed. I could ride my bike down to the family farm, saddle up my pony and be gone for the rest of the afternoon. So, I knew a lot of freedom. I grew up and decided that when I was in high school, I thought I wanted to be an attorney because I was good at debate in high school. And in every debate, I was in for the three years I was in high school, each time I got the highest points.
Lyn Christian: 01:59 And so I thought, well, it’s out of the speaker’s presets kind of pointing me to an aptitude I have. I should probably develop that. And of course, I thought, well, the logical thing is to go study political history and social science and then go get a lot of greens. And, in high school I had some habits that were sort of pulling me one way. I was running and training for a track team. I was supposed to be a mild sprinter and I had really done some things to my body the night before. And I’ll leave that to your imagination that I just couldn’t perform. And I sat down literally on the curb with my feet in the gutter and thought, what am I doing? And then I also thought, not just in this moment, I am trying to force myself to do something and I didn’t prepare my body for it.
Lyn Christian: 02:52 So I had this epiphany, and then I thought what am I doing with my education? Like I really want to go to law school and then spend the rest of my life arguing. And it’s not that I don’t have great respect for law. As I asked myself that question, I didn’t get a resounding, yeah, that’s true for you. In fact, I thought that’s going to just eat away at me. I’m competitive, I am driven, and I am going to just get into a rat wheel or I’m going to be on one of those hamster’s wheels the rest of my life. And I’ve looked across the street and sitting in front of my elementary school, I had run so far that I was at the other end of town and I was sitting in front of elementary school and I decided I want to go do it.
Lyn Christian: 03:43 Those people in that building did for me. I want to go inspire and elevate people’s opinions about what they can do with their lives. And so that’s what I did. I bagged a scholarship and I went and got a degree in education, became a schoolteacher. I taught for 15 years at the time. When the 15 year came around, I was a single parent raising three children. I wanted to look at the National Guard and see if that was a place where I could earn some supplemental money. Lo and behold, I had just passed the age where I could do that. So, I started looking at other ways to earn a living and eventually left and went into business and became a writer. I wrote instructional design for Franklin Covey. I did some ghost writing for them, became a project manager and in the meantime, I had been the recipient of some good coaching and found out that personal development that a coach has is really life.
Lyn Christian: 04:40 It’s like a finishing school for adults. So, I took some of my savings, went back to school, studied to become a coach. And then while I was working full time at Franklin Covey, I worked part time as a coach, built up a practice. By the time I left Franklin Covey, I had been asked to be the director of innovation for their coaching company, and I was leaving behind what looked like corporate security to start my own business. And I haven’t looked back since that year 2004, when I did it full time, started coaching at 1998 but I took a while to build the personal coaching side of it. So, today I support the entrepreneurial mindset; I work with reinventors. So sometimes that’s somebody who’s leaving corporate America and wanting to reinvent and do something with their own DNA, inject that somehow into a capitalistic society and find out if they can make a living by doing things that inspire them.
Lyn Christian: 05:44 I also work with the entrepreneurs who have employees and I talk a lot about those topics you mentioned, how to be true to yourself, how to be strong. Because your listeners, if you’ve been through the armed services, you know, there’s a difference between strength and power and endurance and that strength can look strong in the gym but not be strong, when you have all your belongings that belong to you at that moment on your back and it’s half your weight, you know, real strength comes when you can functionally move with that kind of weight. And then also how to stay focused, knowing where to attend and what are distractions. So, things that I know people who are trained in the armed services must attune to, those actually have crossover to the things that I coach individuals on. And so that’s a nutshell of a professional life right there in front of you. That’s maybe more than you wanted, but I hope that paints a picture of why I ended up in front of you, Scott.
Scott DeLuzio: 06:54 No, it’s actually good. And I like hearing people’s journeys because sometimes, life throws curve balls and you never know where you’re going to end up. And it’s always interesting. you start off as a schoolteacher and then you flirt with the idea of going into the national guard and just because of timing really is the reason that you didn’t go into the national guard when it comes down to it.
Scott DeLuzio: 07:25 Your whole life trajectory from that point forward could have been totally different had you actually gone into the national guard. And so, I do always enjoy hearing people’s backstories and where they come from and how all of that happens. So, when you first reached out to the show, when we first communicated a little bit, there were a number of potential topics that we’re going to talk about and I think we’re going to cover some of these topics in future episodes. We’re going to have you back on the show because I think they’re all great topics for the veteran audience that we have. Today we’re going to be talking about knowing your core values and making choices that are true to yourself. I think one of the problems that many Veterans face, whether they realize it or not is just not knowing their own set of core values. This could be for anyone really, but I think that Veterans especially could fall into this category. First off, could you define what we’re talking about here when we’re talking about core values?
Lyn Christian: 08:33 Yes. So, I’m going to agree with everything you just said, Scott. Because we can be recruited into a business. We can be recruited into the armed services and part of us then adopts a core value system from the entity that we were, that we join, that we gave our consent to be a part of. And so, when I define core values, by the way, the name of my company is Soul Salt, which I did not name. I had been in business for about five years with the name of just Coach Lyn because I knew I would come up with a really cheesy brand if I had to brand myself because I’m not a brander. And so I had the marketing people come in and they gave their feedback, they listened to people I’d worked with and they said, you know, there’s this thing that you do that’s one part very tangible and palpable.
Lyn Christian: 09:26 You help us deal with what’s in front of us in this world. And then there’s this esoteric part where we don’t know how you do it, but you reach into our souls and help us hear this inner wisdom. And so, they said, you should be called salt of the soul. I’m based in Salt Lake City, Utah. And so, it was like, wow, the soul doesn’t roll off your tongue. So, we just dropped part of that, transposed the other part and it’s Soul Salt. And I lean into that name of the company that the clients gave us because a big part of what we do is we check in on what is your inner plum line. So, you don’t have to be an engineer or carpenter to understand a plum line. Today. We use lasers, but the Egyptian, the ancient architects who created the pyramids, we give them credit in part.
Lyn Christian: 10:18 We also see that the Greek builders and Roman builders use them. But a lot of people think it was the Egyptian culture that came up with this idea of on a string, put a weight. A stone is better than wood because stone won’t warp and erode as quickly as, as wood. And they would build these massive structures that we get to witness today. They, those pyramids and those structures withstand the test of time. So, if you want to understand core values, that’s one way to think about it. It’s an inner plum line. Another way is it’s a moral compass that points towards certain things the sort of light up and are your North stars. There are other ways to think of it. There are scientific things that we can talk about it in a moment of how to access it because today, we have such great technology that we can see inside the neuro networks of one’s head, heart and gut in the moment. We can start to see that even today we are discovering that perhaps core values come from a pattern of neural network firing, that we’re the way we’re wired so that we have a propensity towards certain guiding principles.
Lyn Christian: 11:44 Does that give you a convoluted or a clearer definition?
Scott DeLuzio: 11:48 I think that makes sense. And I think, I wanted to have that definition to make sure that everyone is on the same page that we know what we’re talking about when we’re talking about core values. Because realistically it’s going to be somewhat different for everybody because my core values are going to be different than yours and it’s going to be different from anyone who’s listening to this. It’s important to know that, just because my core values might be X, you know, whatever it is, doesn’t mean that it has to fall in line with anybody else and you shouldn’t feel awkward or strange that yours aren’t lining up with mine because that’s just not how these things work. So, that makes sense with what you said there. Like I said, I want to make sure we are all on the same page with that.
Lyn Christian: 12:51 Can I expand what you just said, Scott?
Scott DeLuzio: 12:53 Yeah, sure.
Lyn Christian: 12:55 Even one of the Army’s core values of personal courage, and I read through that definition even to a word of courage. Courage is one of my core values. And we use words. Words are not things, they’re more like the tools we use to explain something that’s going on inside of us, where we make meaning or how we define things. And so, even if the words are the same in people’s core values system, that doesn’t mean they define it. And thereby they don’t align with the same behaviors necessarily, even though the words might seem identical. It is unique per person, like a thumbprint. It’s unique.
Scott DeLuzio: 13:42 Right? Yeah. And that makes total sense too. Someone might look at the word courage. Someone might define that as standing up to an adversary of some sort and that could take courage. It also could be just doing something that you’re afraid of. If you’re afraid of heights and you’re going up on a tall ladder or something like that, that might take some courage to do that type of thing. Speaking from experience there where I am afraid of heights so I, can hear that where even certain words might have different definitions to different people. Now that we know what core values are, how does somebody go about figuring out what their core values are? I’m sitting here and now I understand what core values are. How am I going to figure out what my core values are? So, I know what are those important things to me?
Lyn Christian: 14:53 And that is a process and I’ll take you through part of it. Part of that process if you’d like Scott. It is a unique process. It’s almost like the distillation of rum or how the due condenses slowly, it forms. And so being patient and giving yourself an allowance of having it occurred to you over time is very wise. Even after you identify it, allowing it to be malleable over time and refine. Because what I find for myself and for those around me when I’m working with clients, this is a baseline concept of what we do together and my coaching practice, even when we identify that plumb line, the rest of your life is an experiment on refining. Well, what did I mean when I said courage and how does it manifest in this decision or how does it guide me in this situation?
Lyn Christian: 15:53 So it can be a lifelong process of having a conversation with that inner plum line, even once you identify maybe what the different vectors are that converge in and give you that line. So, what should we just play with that for just a minute and give the audience a chance to follow?
Scott DeLuzio: Yea
Lyn Christian: So, first thing I would ask you to do is there are people in our lives, and Scott, be thinking of it, because I’m going to ask you directly to name them. There are people in our lives that stand out as holding deeper meaning for us than others. Maybe it’s because we admire some piece of them. It’s hard to admire an individual in totality because we have our shadow side, but there are people that we might admire for some aspect of their character. It may be somebody that we respect or somebody that we can’t put our finger on it, but we have an affinity for them. Like there’s a reason we feel drawn to them. We notice them, we want to see what they’re doing. They’re almost like a micro hero for some aspect, or it’s like, yeah, what they’re doing. That’s me. That’s what I want to do. So just off the top of your head, as you’ve heard that little bit of stimuli, what did that evoke in you Scott? Name three people that came to mind.
Scott DeLuzio: 17:20 Yeah, so the, as you’re talking, several people did come to mind. I think how you were saying how in totality, you know, maybe you don’t have that same affinity for the person, for their whole, everything that they are. But there’s bits and pieces that you admire about those individuals. One of the people that popped in my mind, somebody that I served with in the military and he does a lot of great stuff with his kids and he’s always putting his kids first and he’s just a really great father. So, to me, just his attitude and his appreciation for his children and just being a great father is one of those things that I look at and that’s somebody who’s doing it right.
Scott DeLuzio: 18:25 Then there’s someone, I’m just going to use my father as an example, there’s others that pop into mind. Someone who has worked a long, hard career and he’s made a success of himself and runs a successful business. And so, on the business side of things, he’s somebody who pops into mind for that. So, there are a couple examples there of people that popped in my mind, right away while you were talking there.
Lyn Christian: 19:06 Those are really great examples. So, this service buddy of yours, there’s something about what he does with his kids. You called him a great father. So, I’m going to ask you to reflect for just a moment. What is it about him that he’s marrying back to you that wants to be bigger and stronger and better?
Scott DeLuzio: 19:30 in myself? Is that what you’re saying? This is mostly through social media. So, we’re always seeing each other’s A game. You’re not posting the blooper reel on social media all the time. So, when I compare myself to that, as a father, I compare myself to that and I am including all my blooper reels, all the excerpts that wouldn’t necessarily make it onto Instagram or whatever. And I see all those things and I feel like maybe there’s things that I could do better. And I know, I am doing a good job as a father and I am doing good things.
Scott DeLuzio: 20:31 So, I see him, and I just see his devotion and his willingness to do just about anything for his kids is just really one of those things that encourages me to go out and be a better father. I see how he interacts with his kids and the things that he’ll do for his kids. It makes me want to go out and do better and be better because we can all improve no matter what we’re doing, even if we’re the best. That’s one of those things that you never hit the peak of your game on that. There’s no star athlete, if you will.
Lyn Christian: 21:26 Can I play a couple of the words that you gave me to then and just notice if you, if you feel one ringing truer to you than the others. One was being inspiring to children and the other one was devotion to the children. Is there one that sort of rings more clear or truer than the other?
Scott DeLuzio: 21:49 I think the devotion aspect is something that, if someone was to ask me when speaking about him, if there was any doubt in my mind that he was devoted to his kids or there’d be absolutely none, no doubt whatsoever. That’s how I feel about my own kids and that’s what I want to be for my kids. I want to be devoted to them and I want to be encouraging to them and I want to help them with figuring out life like we all are trying to do. That’s one of those things that rings true.
Lyn Christian: 22:40 Well, I have the benefit of being able to look into your face and watch your expressions and your hand movements and even see that when you said that. I’m going to give you the challenge personally. Your listeners won’t get to do this. When you go back and look at this recording, notice Scott, that when you talked about this, you came from the heart and we suspect that our core values do have a function. There are 40,000 sensory neurites that we’ve been able to identify today in the human heart. So, they sort of lit up and you were using body language where you took your hand pointed to your chest when you were using the word devoted to these children. And if you go back and listen to the recording and people who will hear that, it’s like you said, I’m devoted to them having a good life.
Lyn Christian: 23:32 So some people might listen to this recording and say, oh because I’m being fairly transparent what we’re doing here, that he values family. And maybe you like that word as a value. I would challenge you to say, you know, when we talked about it and when I gave a few questions and you went deep, deeper than just a cursory answer, you gave flavor and polar around that devotion. And I wonder if you look back over your history as a father, we’re even in the time when you, when you were a serviceman, active duty, I think you were an infantry.
Scott DeLuzio: 24:13 That’s correct. Yep.
Lyn Christian: 24:14 Yeah. Was devotion always a part of your guiding principles and even though you didn’t get there may be a hundred percent of time, you said, I am willing to go there and I’m wanting to go there. I value that. Can you see other examples of devotion?
Scott DeLuzio: 24:36 Yeah, to my wife, to when I was in the military, I went in 100%.
Lyn Christian: You were fully devoted?
Scott DeLuzio: There were times when it sucked, and I didn’t want to do the things that we were doing and there’s always those types of things that are happening. I never, during that time was thinking, Oh, this sucks. I’m just going to quit. I’m going to walk away and I’m going to go AWOL. And I’m going to be done with this. That was never a thought that crossed my mind. I have a job; I need to do it. And that’s basically the end of the story there. It was just, just do the work and get the job done, you know? So, there’s certainly other examples like that, but for brevity, for the second episode, we cannot dive too deep into that.
Lyn Christian: 25:43 Well, as we look at it, you can see a pattern of how this principle as you define it, plays out. And it’s a realistic thing. Like for military people that are listening to this and not military people that are listening. That’s the reality. There were times as an infantry man, there were times as you were probably going through basic training, it sucked. There are times as a dad, it sucks. There are times as a husband, as a wife, as a partner, as a spouse, it sucks. And yet if you see that even in the hard times, you stayed devoted, the pattern across the board was when things ironed out, when shit hit the fan, at the end of the day, I was still devoted. There must be something inside of you that you use to guide you because that is a piece of you that’s as much a part of you.
Lyn Christian: 26:34 That’s an important part that’s big and bold and transparent and beautiful about you. And that’s what our core values are. The army can have seven individuals. I am usually three, sometimes two, maybe fourish. But the fewer we have, the less schizophrenic we feel. Because when push comes to shove, we must make decisions, and something must lead. And even, let’s say you had three core values, one is going to have to lead in some decisions because the other two may be in conflict. And so, that’s one of the ways to find it. And I’ll tell you this, let’s make this offer to you guys. I believe in this so much that I’ve taken hundreds. In fact, at one point we had 16,000 people going through our online course to figure it out their core values. So, I have an online course and we’ll give you a huge discount, like we’re going to make it ridiculously accessible to your audience.
Lyn Christian: 27:33 And so in the show notes, go back and find out there’ll be a code just for your audience, Scott. If people want to go through our course, there are other ways to find it. You can search it online and you’ll find a hundred ways to do it. Why people come out with a big smile on their face and surprise and going, wow, I didn’t know that was going to happen. And yet there’s that satisfaction when it rings true like I saw in your face, Scott, when we talked about devotion, we got deep. There’s something there that is undeniably you and it has always been you. And that’s what we’re talking about when we talk about these core values, AKA plum line, AKA North star, whatever you want to call it. They are guiding principles that have been guiding you regardless of your ability to have identified them up to this point.
Scott DeLuzio: 28:23 That’s really good. And I’m glad we covered what they are and how to identify them. With all that knowledge and this maybe out of order here but this might sound like a silly question, but what difference does it make if someone knows their core values or not? Maybe to rephrase that because I that sounded,
Lyn Christian: 28:50 I liked that question, Scott. I like that question. So, it’s like, so what?
Scott DeLuzio: 28:55 That’s not how I wanted it to come off, but I guess could someone be just as successful in navigating through life if they didn’t know what their core values were. What is the significance, I should say?
Lyn Christian: 29:10 Good question. Well, to that question about could somebody do this without knowing? Probably they could be somewhat successful because if they are really functions of some neuro networks and they are firing, but it’s the difference between being competent and being consciously competent. It’s the difference of knowing that you can lift a lot of weight, but also knowing how you use the levers of your muscles and to lift it elegantly, efficiently and without injury. So, yes, it is like a power tool. I think it’s one of the reasons people started calling me a badass. I’m 60 now. When I was 50, they started calling me a bad ass and I was like, well, it could be because I’d been invited into the elite gym, Gym Jones here in Salt Lake City. It could be because I can do a double body dead lift.
Lyn Christian: 30:10 Today I weighed in at 109.5 my double body dead lift is 245. So, I’m like, yeah, it could be those things, but those are surface. When I peeled back and got some research going, it was because I have this inner formula for integrity, and I know it’s helped me make decisions. A really good case study of that is an old one, and I relate to this because I had a child in my arms, a baby in my arms back in 1982 when Tylenol had this terrible what was Johnson and Johnson Tylenol was one of their heavy hitters that had like 33% of the market share for the its brand of painkillers. And I woke up one day to hear this terrible story about a little school girl in Chicago who had a headache and her parents gave her a Tylenol and sent her back to bed and said, we’ll come get you in an hour and if you feel better we’ll go to school. And they went back. She was dead.
Lyn Christian: 31:13 Now Johnson and Johnson for a while did not know what was going on. And none of us who were following that terrible story knew what was going on. And what was worse was we had babes in our arms and children in our family and we had Tylenol in our medicine chest, so we potentially had poison in our medicine chest and come to find out Johnson and Johnson, the backstory is they went back to their credo, their core values that said, our stakeholders come second. Our clients come first, so they pulled all the Tylenol off the shelves completely disrupted the stockholders plan, perhaps a boom year and they lost millions and millions or hundreds of millions, at least a hundred million. Come to find out somebody had tampered with Tylenol put finite in the capsules. This is how we have today tamper-resistant containers from this one thing that happened in history that was horrible that took lives, but Johnson and Johnson was not at fault.
Lyn Christian: 32:22 Had they hemmed and hawed, made excuses, done a spin, tried to save their stakeholders, they probably wouldn’t have survived as a company, and we all have pivotal moments when we must make a decision. When push comes to shove or we need to know, how do I guide my life? We need to know is this an opportunity for me. Well, if it is, if it doesn’t align with my core values, I as your personal coach in this moment would say, why the hell are you even considering them? Because it’s going to pull you out of your integrity from the get-go. When you stand on the bedrock of your personal integrity, you are formidable. And when you are formidable, you are on the foundation to reach for success. And so that’s why I so believe in core values. Does this answer your question?
Scott DeLuzio: 33:09 Well, it certainly does. That really helped solidify why knowing what these core values are, that each of us have, are unique to each of us. Knowing what they are and now we know why they’re important. Right? We know what the core values are. We know why they’re important to know how that helps us make choices that are true to ourselves following along those core values.
Lyn Christian: 33:41 Well, so here’s an example, an entrepreneurial coach, Mark Twight and Lisa Twight at the time had just left Hollywood. The 300 movies were hitting the screen. They were having phenomenal success, getting the physiques of real authentic strength into these actors and actresses. They were working with the Navy seals. They were working with other secret services and they were finding so much success that they needed help and I worked with them very quickly. They were quick studies. Within six months we met their objectives and Mark and Lisa turned to me and said, thank you for coaching us. This has been so useful. We want to coach you. We have an invitation only gym, Gym Jones. Have you ever been to a gym? I said, no. I just finished raising three kids. What would I have done in a gym? I have my own business.
Lyn Christian: 34:35 I’ve raised three kids as a single parent and they said we would like to invite you to come and let us coach you and I had to go back to my core values and I took each one of them. One is integrity. For me, integrity is being willing to be honest with yourself. And I thought, you know, honestly, this kind of intrigues me. One is courage. And I thought it also scares the shit out of me to go into this place and transform. But courage is one of my guiding principles. And the last one was freedom. And I realized I was just about to turn 50 and my body wasn’t as strong or as fast as I had been as a kid. And I thought maybe I’m losing some of my freedom. So, I signed up. I said, yes, that changed my life.
Lyn Christian: 35:28 So that’s just a practical decision where I looked in all three were in alignment. To your point as a parent, I had a situation with my daughter, she was tiny before I’d even identified these values, she destroyed a piece of property. Unwittingly, she put her foot on a gentleman who was a neighbor who was a master gardener who had created these, he purchased these shrubs from some international garden space that spelled out his name and that was on his lawn. And when they were covered with snow, she thought they looked great and she wanted to stand on the one letter in his name. That was the first letter of her name. She stood on it and crushed the little plant
Lyn Christian: 36:14 Now, nobody saw it, but she and I, it was in the nighttime and I could’ve walked away from that. I was poor, single parent schoolteacher. I didn’t have the money to replace this shrub, but deep in my heart I knew I needed to teach her honesty. It goes back to my integrity value and I needed to be honest myself. I would go by that man’s yard every day and I would say, we lied about that. So, holding her hand, we went to his door, we knocked on the door and both of us crying. We told him what happened. He was livid. He was crying, but enough emotional intelligence was driving him. But he said, please come in. And we talked together and by the time we talked it through, he said, you know, I’m a master gardener. I have a free account with this company.
Lyn Christian: 37:08 I can get another shrub. I’m crushed because this is my life, but I’m also glad you told me because I would still be suspicious of my neighbors so we had a win win, but it was one of the hardest things I’ve ever done and it’s taught this child something and it taught me something. So that’s the kind of gut wrenching in the moment guideline that we all need to keep us with our moral compass aligned and I can’t think of a better time in history when human beings need to revisit what is that moral compass and make decisions that are right for us but can also live in co-creative rightness or alignment with others. There can be mutual success and sometimes it just comes down to Scott, what do I value? What do you value? On the outside, it may look like they are disparate. It may look like they have to be in concert with my belief. We can find ways, I’m not talking compromise, we can find ways for mutual success and come up with new ways of living together. That puts us all in our integrity, once again.
Scott DeLuzio: 38:24 That’s a really great example of how that core value of integrity helps you not only make the right decision and do the right thing by your neighbor, by going to the door and telling him what happened. But also, by instilling that value in your own child, by showing her this is what you do when you do something wrong and you mess up, well, let’s go make it right. And it might hurt, but you have to own up to your mistakes and whatever your actions happened to be because that’s just who we are as people of integrity. And that’s how that works. So, it looks like we’re coming up on time. We went a little bit over time here on this episode, but it’s really been great. Good information on trying to figure out our core values and knowing who we are and how that can help us down the road make better decisions. It’s been great having you on the show. Where can people go to find out more about you and what you do?
Lyn Christian: 39:43 Sure. So, S O U L S A L t.com. We have a website, lots of blogs, even sign up for our newsletter. I usually do a Facebook live every Tuesday morning, mountain time, nine o’clock. And I personally run the Soul Salt Instagram account and my own account, which is Lyn Christian, so I run those accounts. I rarely post on Facebook. I’m not on Twitter. I do spend a lot of my focus on Instagram. I’m on LinkedIn. I think those are the best places. And maybe even a future talk or a future conversation, we’ll talk about conversational intelligence. I do have a temporary podcast we put together called, what’s your conversational intelligence? And I have a TEDx talk. You can look at TEDx Salt Lake City. Look at my name, L. Y. N. I’m little, I’m 5’4” so I’m not real tall so I only get one N. That’s how I remember to tell audiences one N in Lyn.
Scott DeLuzio: 40:56 That’s great. Okay, well thank you again for being on the show and sharing this information. And like I said, we’ll have Lyn back on in some future episodes as well to talk about a few of the topics that I think will really be beneficial to Veterans and their family members, potentially and other people who are listening to this show. I think Lyn has a lot of really good information to share with the audience. So, thank you again, Lyn.
Lyn Christian: Thank you.
Scott DeLuzio: 41:28 Thanks for listening to the Drive On Podcast. If you want to check out more episodes or learn about the show, you can visit our website, DriveOnPodcast.com we’re on Facebook, Twitter, and Instagram at Drive On Podcasts. ]]> 00:41:49 <![CDATA[Happy Birthday Steve]]> Tue, 25 Feb 2020 01:00:00 +0000 Scott DeLuzio https://drive-on-podcast.castos.com/podcasts/2296/episodes/happy-birthday-steve In this episode, I wish my brother SGT Steven DeLuzio a happy birthday. Today would have been his 35th birthday.

I also talk about what it means to have a purpose.

Links & Resources

Transcript

Thanks for tuning in to the Drive On Podcast where we talk about issues affecting veterans after they get out of the military.

Before we get started, I’d like to ask for a favor. If you haven’t done so already, please rate and review the show on Apple Podcasts. If you’ve already done that, thank you! These ratings help the show get discovered, so it can reach a wider audience. While you’re there, click the subscribe button so that you get notified of new episodes as soon as they come out. If you don’t use Apple Podcasts, you can visit driveonpodcast.com/subscribe to find other ways of subscribing including our email list.

I’m your host, Scott DeLuzio. And now, let’s get on with the show.

Hey everyone, thanks for tuning into the Drive On Podcast.

Today, I’m doing a special episode. See, today is February 25th and it would have been my brother Steven’s 35th birthday. More likely than not if he was still alive, we would have had some plans to go out to dinner or do something fun to celebrate the day. Since he’s no longer with us, I figured what better way to celebrate than to dedicate an episode to him.

Actually, if I’m being honest with who he was, we would have been doing something to celebrate the day for a few days now at least. I remember more than once he asked what we were doing to celebrate the “week of Steve”. The week of Steve would usually start the weekend before and end the weekend after his birthday. And if his birthday happened to fall on a weekend, he’d celebrate the week of Steve for two weeks. Of course he didn’t expect us to drop everything for a week to celebrate, but if you knew him he was a goofball and joked around like that.

It’s been 10 years since the last birthday he got to celebrate. At that time he was on his way to Afghanistan with his Vermont Army National Guard unit. I wonder if it would have changed how he celebrated that birthday if he knew that his would be a one way trip over there.

Back in episode 12, I did another episode where I talked about Steven and how he impacted my life. If you haven’t listened to that episode, go give it a listen too. It’ll fill in some gaps that I might leave out in this episode.

In that episode I talked about having a support system. People who are close to you. Close enough to recognize when you’re going through a tough time and can help you get through it. And if they’re not the right ones for the job, they can help you seek out the care you need.

All of that is really important. It led me to get the help I needed.

What I want to talk about in this episode is finding a purpose. When my I was told that my brother was killed, my commander at the time asked if I was going to do something stupid like hurt myself or others. It was a completely rational question to ask a man with a rifle and over 200 rounds of ammo who was just told some devastating news. But at the time, I thought “how could I do something like that?” I had a wife and a newborn at home. My parents just lost one of their sons, I couldn’t do something that would cause them to lose both of their kids.

At that moment, my family was my purpose.

After getting home, there were decisions that had to be made that no parent should have to make for their child. Funeral details, settling his estate’s a...

]]> full 39 false In this episode, I wish my brother SGT Steven DeLuzio a happy birthday. Today would have been his 35th birthday.

I also talk about what it means to have a purpose.

Links & Resources

Transcript

Thanks for tuning in to the Drive On Podcast where we talk about issues affecting veterans after they get out of the military.

Before we get started, I’d like to ask for a favor. If you haven’t done so already, please rate and review the show on Apple Podcasts. If you’ve already done that, thank you! These ratings help the show get discovered, so it can reach a wider audience. While you’re there, click the subscribe button so that you get notified of new episodes as soon as they come out. If you don’t use Apple Podcasts, you can visit driveonpodcast.com/subscribe to find other ways of subscribing including our email list.

I’m your host, Scott DeLuzio. And now, let’s get on with the show.

Hey everyone, thanks for tuning into the Drive On Podcast.

Today, I’m doing a special episode. See, today is February 25th and it would have been my brother Steven’s 35th birthday. More likely than not if he was still alive, we would have had some plans to go out to dinner or do something fun to celebrate the day. Since he’s no longer with us, I figured what better way to celebrate than to dedicate an episode to him.

Actually, if I’m being honest with who he was, we would have been doing something to celebrate the day for a few days now at least. I remember more than once he asked what we were doing to celebrate the “week of Steve”. The week of Steve would usually start the weekend before and end the weekend after his birthday. And if his birthday happened to fall on a weekend, he’d celebrate the week of Steve for two weeks. Of course he didn’t expect us to drop everything for a week to celebrate, but if you knew him he was a goofball and joked around like that.

It’s been 10 years since the last birthday he got to celebrate. At that time he was on his way to Afghanistan with his Vermont Army National Guard unit. I wonder if it would have changed how he celebrated that birthday if he knew that his would be a one way trip over there.

Back in episode 12, I did another episode where I talked about Steven and how he impacted my life. If you haven’t listened to that episode, go give it a listen too. It’ll fill in some gaps that I might leave out in this episode.

In that episode I talked about having a support system. People who are close to you. Close enough to recognize when you’re going through a tough time and can help you get through it. And if they’re not the right ones for the job, they can help you seek out the care you need.

All of that is really important. It led me to get the help I needed.

What I want to talk about in this episode is finding a purpose. When my I was told that my brother was killed, my commander at the time asked if I was going to do something stupid like hurt myself or others. It was a completely rational question to ask a man with a rifle and over 200 rounds of ammo who was just told some devastating news. But at the time, I thought “how could I do something like that?” I had a wife and a newborn at home. My parents just lost one of their sons, I couldn’t do something that would cause them to lose both of their kids.

At that moment, my family was my purpose.

After getting home, there were decisions that had to be made that no parent should have to make for their child. Funeral details, settling his estate’s affairs with the probate court, media interviews. Ha, were there interviews. That’s not something most people have to go through when they lose a loved one. But a highly publicized military death had reporters from all of the major newspapers, television, and radio stations in the state coming to my parent’s house. They all wanted to know who he was, what he was like, how we felt. The day I got home from Afghanistan, the sight of the news vans on my parent’s street enraged me. Fuck those people, I thought. Go get your goddamn story somewhere else. Leave us the fuck alone.

But, then I realized that that’s exactly what they would do. Actually, in fairness, I think our casualty assistance officer suggested this. Those reporters were going to air or print a story one way or the other. They might go and get a sound bite from a random kid that Steve was in 2nd grade with. Or worse, they’ll get some random person to talk about how they feel about the soldier from Glastonbury Connecticut who died.

“It’s awful”, “it’s a tragedy”, “he had his whole life ahead of him”, and other vague or generic sound bites is what they’d end up airing.

My purpose at that point was to make sure that his story was told. I wanted to make sure that everyone knew about the Yankees fan, the Bruins fan, the kid who would pretend to fall asleep and collapse to the floor when you were telling a story that he deemed to be boring. I wanted to make sure that anyone who would listen knew about the Uncle who would never get to see his nephew grow up to be a great baseball player. Hell, I want to let the world know now about the Uncle who never got to meet one niece and nephew. I wanted to make sure that there was an accurate representation of who he was.

That was my purpose in the days after coming home. I knew my mom for one didn’t want to be in the spotlight. My dad had no problem with it, but neither of them should have had to do this while mourning the loss of their son.

In the months after, we decided to create a non-profit memorial fund, the SGT Steven DeLuzio Memorial Fund. The mission of that fund is to raise money to help veteran organizations and provide college scholarships to kids who have something in common with Steven. We’ve given scholarships to about 20 little league athletes and hockey players. Both of which were passions of Steve’s. We’ve also raised money for organizations like the Wounded Warrior Project, the Fisher House, the Heroes Project, the Chris Kyle Frog Foundation, and the Connecticut Trees of Honor.

Even the way that we raised money for these scholarships and charities represented things Steven loved. We ran a golf tournament and banquet for the first five years after he was killed. Those combined golf, a game he enjoyed (even though I kicked his butt all the time), and gathering family and friends. We consistently sold out, or at least came darn close to selling out the tournament every year. 144 golfers and about 300 total banquet attendees.

To that end, we’re also holding a banquet this year around Memorial Day, where we hope to have as many family and friends come together to celebrate the 10th anniversary of his death.

Our purpose with this non-profit is to celebrate his life, and continue telling his story to anyone who will listen. Anyone who receives a scholarship learns a little about him. Some of these little league kids were probably still in diapers when he was killed. They never had the chance to know him, but they’ll know who he was.

There is a book I read a couple months ago, called The Knock at the Door. It is the story of three women who lost a loved one in war – one brother and two husbands. It’s their story of grief. How their world got turned upside down after getting their knock at the door. The knock at the door refers to how the military notifies families of a loved one’s death. Typically uniformed officers are sent to the house to deliver the notification.

That book talks about how those women hit rock bottom. Drinking, not eating or sleeping enough, and a host of other similar issues. It also talks about how they turned their loss to inspiration for others. These women collectively work for the Travis Manion Foundation, named after one of the service members from the book. The foundation has developed programs and events that empower veterans and families of the fallen. It gives them a purpose. A reason to keep moving forward.

It offers an escape from the trap of inaction. Without a purpose, what’s the reason to get out of bed in the morning? What’s the reason to put on your pants, go outside and be a part of society?

Everyone has a different purpose. Some people it’s their family. Some people have their job. Others volunteer their time with a cause that they feel strongly about. If you have the courage to love any of these things, and the people involved with them, you have to be prepared to suffer a loss at some point. These things don’t last forever. No one lasts forever.

You have to be prepared to respond to the loss in a way that mourns that loss, but also allows you to keep moving on. To Drive On, if you will.

Look, I’m not perfect at this. I still struggle with this from time to time. Sometimes the grief still creeps in. What you don’t want to do is let it shackle you down entirely so you can’t function. If I didn’t have a purpose, I would have a really hard time carrying on.

For me, my purpose is my family, first and foremost. The work I do allows me the freedom to work from home so I’m here as much as possible. Since I’m self employed, I don’t have to answer to anyone but me. I set my own hours, decide when to take time off, and know that it’s OK to cut out early to get ice cream with my wife and kids every once in awhile.

Some people might say “oh that must be nice that you have this cushy job that you can just come and go whenever you please”. Don’t get me wrong. It isn’t an easy job, and the decision I’ve made to dedicate time to my family definitely has limited my ability to have what others might consider a cushy job. Yea, I take time off to spend with my family. But it isn’t because I’m making millions and have a full staff of people working for me. I choose my family as my priority. I’ve chosen to work this job so that I can squeeze every second of time that I can get out of my family. That’s not for everyone though.

One of the other things I’ve learned from losing Steven is that when you think of tragedies you typically think that you don’t have to worry about it. Those things only happen to other people. Whoever they are. They happen to the people you see on the news, and you think “oh, I feel so bad for those people”. That’s exactly what I thought when both he and I were deployed to Afghanistan in 2010. I knew that there was a possibility that something tragic could happen to one or both of us. I don’t think I ever really let myself believe that he could die though. Even when I was being told that he was killed, my mind jumped straight to trying to figure out how I could help if he was seriously wounded. Did he need blood, a kidney, any other part of me that I didn’t absolutely need? Anything short of my brain and heart was his if he needed it. Get me on a helicopter I’ll give it to him. When it finally registered with me that he was gone, it hit me like a ton of bricks. As one of the other people that you see on television, I can tell you that it isn’t just other people who are impacted by tragedy. I was one of those other people on the nightly news, on the cover of a newspaper, one of those people that made you feel sorry for a stranger even if it was just for a moment.

There’s nothing you can really do to prepare for that sort of unexpected news. But you can enjoy the time you have with your loved ones. Looking back, the good times are the times that stand out in my memory. Like the time when my brother got an entire NHL hockey arena chanting USA USA USA after the Boston Bruins beat the Montreal Canadiens. Or the time when we visited St. Andrews, Scotland to golf. And on a rainy day where the course was closed, we did some damage to the beer supply in a local pub, emptied the minibar in our hotel, and caused some ruckus. Come to think of it a lot of our good memories involved beer.

Just talking about some of those good times brings a smile to my face. So I guess the point is, go out and make memories with the ones you love. It’s inevitable that either you or them will be gone at some point. Whoever is left deserves to be able to think back and smile at the good times.

We all deserve to smile I think.

The point of this episode is to talk about having a purpose. Your purpose can change, but generally it helps you stay focused on what matters most to you. It helps you set priorities. My family is my top priority, and I make sure that at 5 o’clock every day I turn off of work mode so I can spend some time with my kids. Eat dinner, play, read, watch a movie, or whatever it is we end up doing. Whatever it is, I don’t want to miss it because I wanted to get an extra hour or two of work in.

The work will still be there tomorrow. My kids are only young once.

Having a purpose can give you the drive you need to keep going when things get tough. Last year my wife was hospitalized and in a coma after having severe seizures. The doctors didn’t really know what she would be like when she eventually came out of the coma. The two weeks she was in the hospital were not easy at all. And the months after she got out weren’t a walk in the park either. My purpose remained the same. My family.

I had several business trips planned for shortly after she was hospitalized, which I canceled. I took time off from work to take her to doctor’s appointments so we could try to get answers for what caused her illness. She needed me. My kids needed me.

Your purpose might be different from mine. You might find purpose or meaning in volunteer work like working with kids, or helping veterans. You might find purpose in improving your community, which could take shape in a number of different ways. It could be cleaning up a park in your neighborhood so it’s clean and safe to use. It could be serving on a local government position. You might even find purpose by traveling to see places around the country or the world. Hell, your purpose could be as simple as being a good friend to the people in your life.

If your purpose changes, that’s OK too. It doesn’t have to be tied to your identity. To be honest, if you were to ask me what my purpose was 10 or 15 years ago, I’m not sure I would have had a very good answer. I don’t think I was self-aware enough to know what really motivated me. Maybe it was my own selfish motivations that drove me to do what I wanted. But we all change, and it should be expected that our purpose – the thing that motivates us – will change too.

When you’re young, your purpose might be to work hard so you can rise up the ranks at your company quickly. Maybe it’s to make a lot of money. Maybe it’s to go out and party to enjoy life. But as you get older, things might start to change. You might meet someone and start a family. Maybe they become more important than working long hours to get ahead. Hopefully they’re more important than late night partying.

In next week’s episode, I’ll be talking to an expert that will help us understand how to find our core values. The things that are really important to us so we can figure out our purpose.

We all need a purpose. I hope you’ll tune in.

Happy Birthday Steve. I’ll be raising a beer tonight for you.

Thanks for listening.

Thanks for listening to the Drive On Podcast. If you want to check out more episodes or learn more about the show, you can visit our website, DriveOnPodcast.com we’re on Facebook, Twitter, and Instagram at DriveOnPodcast.

]]> 00:18:09 <![CDATA[Having an Operational Mindset]]> Tue, 18 Feb 2020 01:00:00 +0000 Scott DeLuzio https://drive-on-podcast.castos.com/podcasts/2296/episodes/having-an-operational-mindset Jeff Banman is the host of the Mindset Radio podcast, and the founder of The Operational Mindset Foundation. Jeff is a former soldier and firefighter. His mission these days seems to be very similar to mine with this podcast, so I wanted to be sure I got him on the show to share his story.

I first heard about Jeff and some of the things he does through a former guest on this show, Dr. Sherry Walling who was on not too long ago back in episode 32 (see link below). She talked about Meditation at the Shooting Range in her podcast. When I heard about this, I thought Jeff would be a perfect guest on this show. Since listeners of this show are largely current and former military service members, we’re all familiar with firearms, and if there’s a way to work that in with mental health, then that’s a win-win in my book.

Links & Resources

Transcript

Scott DeLuzio:    00:03    Thanks for tuning in to the Drive On Podcast where we talk about issues affecting veterans after they get out of the military. Before we get started, I’d like to ask a favor if you haven’t done so already, please rate and review the show on Apple podcasts. If you’ve already done that. Thank you. These ratings help the show get discovered so we can reach a wider audience. And while you’re there, click the subscribe button so that you get notified of new episodes as soon as they come out. If you don’t use Apple podcasts, you can visit DriveOnPodcasts.com/subscribe to find other ways of subscribing, including our email list. I’m your host, Scott DeLuzio, and now let’s get on with the show.

Scott DeLuzio:    00:44    Hi everyone.  Today, my guest is Jeff Banman. He’s the host of the Mindset radio podcast and the founder of the Operational Mindset Foundation. Jeff is a former soldier and firefighter. His mission these days seems to be very similar to mine with this podcast. So, I wanted to be sure I got him on the show to share his story. I first heard about Jeff and some of the things that he does through a former guest on this show, Dr. Sherry Walling, who was on not too long ago back in Episode 32. She talked about meditation at the shooting range in her podcast, which I’ll link to in the show notes. When I heard about this, I thought Jeff, who conducted this meditation at a shooting range, would be a perfect guest for this show. Since the listeners of the show are largely current and former military service members, we’re all pretty familiar with firearms and if there’s a way to work that in with mental health that’s just a win-win in my book. So anyway, Jeff, welcome to the show. I don’t want to dive into everything you do without giving you the chance to jump in. So why don’t you tell us a little bit about yourself and what you do?

Jeff Banman:    01:49    I really appreciate you having me on today. Sherry is such a phenomenal human being. She’s definitely been a great supporter of mine. I’m glad she introduced us. It was very neat to have her out on range and we got to talk about what that meditation shoot is and why it is the...

]]> full 38 false Jeff Banman is the host of the Mindset Radio podcast, and the founder of The Operational Mindset Foundation. Jeff is a former soldier and firefighter. His mission these days seems to be very similar to mine with this podcast, so I wanted to be sure I got him on the show to share his story.

I first heard about Jeff and some of the things he does through a former guest on this show, Dr. Sherry Walling who was on not too long ago back in episode 32 (see link below). She talked about Meditation at the Shooting Range in her podcast. When I heard about this, I thought Jeff would be a perfect guest on this show. Since listeners of this show are largely current and former military service members, we’re all familiar with firearms, and if there’s a way to work that in with mental health, then that’s a win-win in my book.

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Transcript

Scott DeLuzio:    00:03    Thanks for tuning in to the Drive On Podcast where we talk about issues affecting veterans after they get out of the military. Before we get started, I’d like to ask a favor if you haven’t done so already, please rate and review the show on Apple podcasts. If you’ve already done that. Thank you. These ratings help the show get discovered so we can reach a wider audience. And while you’re there, click the subscribe button so that you get notified of new episodes as soon as they come out. If you don’t use Apple podcasts, you can visit DriveOnPodcasts.com/subscribe to find other ways of subscribing, including our email list. I’m your host, Scott DeLuzio, and now let’s get on with the show.

Scott DeLuzio:    00:44    Hi everyone.  Today, my guest is Jeff Banman. He’s the host of the Mindset radio podcast and the founder of the Operational Mindset Foundation. Jeff is a former soldier and firefighter. His mission these days seems to be very similar to mine with this podcast. So, I wanted to be sure I got him on the show to share his story. I first heard about Jeff and some of the things that he does through a former guest on this show, Dr. Sherry Walling, who was on not too long ago back in Episode 32. She talked about meditation at the shooting range in her podcast, which I’ll link to in the show notes. When I heard about this, I thought Jeff, who conducted this meditation at a shooting range, would be a perfect guest for this show. Since the listeners of the show are largely current and former military service members, we’re all pretty familiar with firearms and if there’s a way to work that in with mental health that’s just a win-win in my book. So anyway, Jeff, welcome to the show. I don’t want to dive into everything you do without giving you the chance to jump in. So why don’t you tell us a little bit about yourself and what you do?

Jeff Banman:    01:49    I really appreciate you having me on today. Sherry is such a phenomenal human being. She’s definitely been a great supporter of mine. I’m glad she introduced us. It was very neat to have her out on range and we got to talk about what that meditation shoot is and why it is the way it is. It’s a pretty neat day out there. My simple background is that I grew up as a fireman, started before I graduated high school. I volunteered, got hired right out of high school, spent a couple of years, got a little bored, decided that I needed new adventure, joined the army and spent the first halfway 3rd Range Battalion in the second half with a Reconstituted out of Fort Bragg, Kosovo in 1999.

Jeff Banman:    02:39    Part of the first guys on the ground there during the Serb invasion, got out, went back to the fire service, was actually on duty the night of September 10th, having coffee with the guys the morning of September 11th, and then spent the next four days in response to the Pentagon in the DC area. And then after that, got recruited by the intelligence community and spent a decade bebopping around the world and doing some really fun stuff. And then, like you said, today, really the focus is on the Foundation with a mission to ultimately to end what I call clean up, the post stuff. A lot of great organizations doing a lot of great stuff and absolutely critical, absolutely necessary. But I believe we’re locked into a new world, where the game’s changed and we’re now in this perpetual global conflict. And so, I don’t see an end to this at some point in time. And the Foundation is really designed to get in early to create early conversations now provide some early lessons and some tools up front. Even if the guys don’t totally hear them right away, they’re still there. And they still live? And really want to minimize the impact of the lives that we choose to live. That’s what the mission is now. So, I really appreciate you having me on.

Scott DeLuzio:    03:56    Yeah, absolutely. So, let’s take a step back a little bit here and talk about the journey that you took to get to where you are now, running the Operational Mindset Foundation and the podcast. Obviously, you were a soldier, the firefighter, but did you just wake up one day and decide that this is something that you’re going to start doing. Was it a gradual process to figure out what you’re up to or was there some trigger that sparked your interest in this line of work? What did that look like?

Jeff Banman:    04:26    Well, it’s been a gnarly five, six years. I closed out my time with the agency about 2014, give or take, officially done. I was running a company, doing a lot of the human performance work and human behavior stuff that I did in my last couple of years at the agency doing really well. I decided to exit out of that and then I wandered the earth for a couple of years. I was really trying to figure out who I was. And then actually some of the group where I met Sherry and got involved in some stuff and this has been a personal journey, a professional journey. This wasn’t an overnight thing. I’ve resisted the idea of a nonprofit for a long time and actually to be honest with you, I went away from the community for several years.

Jeff Banman:    05:23   I was kind of tired. I was a little frustrated by it. I was a little annoyed by the community and I didn’t really like what I saw going on.  I ejected myself from the community for a little while and I introduced myself one day and a guy I really respected business guy, very sharp, a gray beard. He pulled me aside after we did our thing and he looked at me and he said, Jeff, and he’s Australian, so he’s got the accent to back the statement. I’m not going to attempt to

Jeff Banman:    05:58    mimic it. But he said, Jeff, never again minimize your background. And that really sat with me.  I think that was like a shot to me that I’d kind of gone away. I’d try to be somebody else. I really tried to shut down who I’d been for basically my entire life. Then I was challenged to look at what was important to me. I was challenged to look at what do I want to leave behind, what really matters. And I got invited, through some other sources, back into the community.  We were talking about the operational mindset course I wrote years ago looking at mental performance and I started to peek in and see that we just hadn’t made the progress we should’ve made. And so, that’s where it all started to fall into place for me.

Jeff Banman:    06:58    And you know, I believe firmly through the work that I’ve done, the interpersonal journey in the self-work that I’ve done, you can be the baddest mother out there, right? You can go out and execute and perform your mission or your job to the extreme when necessary and you can come home and be normal and actually embrace this whole other side of your life. And so that knowledge, that awareness, that insight really is what drives behind the Operation Mindset Foundation because it is about putting guys in the condition where they can operate at their very best and then come home and men and women both right across the board, I say guys as a term of endearment. It’s sure speaking to everybody but it’s like that’s what it’s about. That’s the essence of it.

Scott DeLuzio:    07:59    That’s a great backstory to your journey and figuring out how you came along and came up with this Foundation and everything. I think a lot of what you do and what I’m trying to do with this podcast are very much in line. Ultimately, I want to help the service members, the veterans who might feel like there isn’t any hope for them. But more importantly, I want to try to reach these people before they get to that point. And obviously, once someone’s at that point, it’s good to get them the information and the strategies or resources that they need to get themselves out of that; which we do with the podcast. But ideally reaching them beforehand is even better. And that seems like exactly what you said, what you’re doing with the Foundation. You’re going out to these first responders, the police, the fire, EMS, before there’s a tragic situation that they don’t know how to handle

Jeff Banman:    09:01    Or just even mid-career.  Just the constant persistent stressors. I mean, I think we get labeled very quickly as having PTSD or having this or having that. And we’ve had big conversations about it. And I think there are other subtle factors that impact us. To get labeled a certain way and those are factors we can really manage and mitigate, chronic stress exposure, really the long-term wear out. I mean, we’ve been at war now for 20 years and as of this recording, it ain’t going to stop anytime soon, obviously. That chronic exposure, that chronic state of always being turned on, always being available, always being ready and it comes in the fire service and it comes if you’re a military guy, if you’re a police officer, if you’re a firefighter or if you’re in the services realm, you chose a 24/7 gig and we don’t get trained how to turn it on or off. We don’t get trained how to turn the volume knob up or down. I think those are the underlying issues that wear us out over time, rather than the incident or the thing or whatever it was. I mean there’s still impact but I also believe that impact and PTSD come from a lack of awareness to yourself and what the situation you may find yourself in. It’s a lack of mental and emotional preparedness for the events that may occur given the job you’ve chosen to take on.

Scott DeLuzio:    10:51    Yeah, exactly. And I know for myself after getting out of the army, I felt exactly what you’re describing that “still being always on with a head on a swivel” but you’re walking through the grocery store and you don’t really need to constantly be hyper vigilant. You’re not walking down the streets of Bagdad or whatever. It is hard to turn off. And I think that that’s probably a common thing amongst the military and first responders that they are constantly aware of this type of stuff. Being hypervigilant and it is a hard thing to turn off. So, it’s a great thing that you are doing to teach people how to turn that off to come home and be with their families.

Scott DeLuzio:    11:48    Talk to their wives and husbands and their kids and everyone else without being this super intense, police officer or firefighter or whatever the case may be. So, it’s really great that that’s the direction that you are taking in trying to help people in that regard. We talked a little bit, the other day, before we started recording and you told me that there were four parts to the Operational Mindset Foundation, four different categories. Could you walk us through some of what it is that the Foundation is all about?

Jeff Banman:    12:29    Yeah, so first off, clearly it is Mindset Radio, the podcast, which is out on all the platforms. And I think it’s a neat opportunity because we get guests both from the community and then way outside the community. You know, like Sherry Walling was on, Corporal Kiernan, I just had Jordan Harbinger on at the end of the year. Our world may not be normally exposed to try to bring us some new people to the table there. Some new conversations and get really at it. And then I bring great people from the community and to validate those, right? To actually take a look at the conversation that we’ve been having and then it works in the world or not. I’m a big believer that you have to be able to balance that because not everything that comes out of academia or comes out of the psychology world or comes out of those places is valid in the field.

Jeff Banman:    13:26    Part of that is that process. And then there’s some teach backs and we take time on some stuff. So, Mindset radio, the podcast is really a first layer out to our community. The second layer is the training programs that we offer to departments and to the military. We’re able to go in, provide the Operation Mindset programs, which really do balance resiliency with a higher level of operations and looks at performance factors. And so, there’s a variety of coursework there that we’re able to get out now through some privately funded partnerships and get out and deliver that. Then, one of the critical parts we’re going to be looking at later this year is the train the trainer program that is the fourth element.

Jeff Banman:    14:17    Then, the other big pieces are the experiences that we create. So, the meditation shoot are our opportunities that we try our best to align really great people from the community. Like a Sherry Walling or a high performing entrepreneur or some of the people that are out there with people from the services, because then it becomes this shared experience in the shared knowledge. It begins to unify some things for people rather than just being isolated in just the one shared experience. I’m a cop, I’m a firefighter, I’m a service member or whatever it might be. Gets them outside of their comfort zone, but then also really deals with feelings of safety and breathwork and anchoring yourself in the present. And it’s a pretty gnarly event. You generally don’t walk away not having had a fairly significant experience out there. So, that’s the Foundation. That’s how we work and that helps us raise money and continue to do what we love to do.

Scott DeLuzio:    15:28    That’s great. I’m really glad that this is something that you’re doing. I think it’s something that’s definitely a missing piece in the whole equation. I don’t know if you know many other organizations that are handling these types of aspects of mental health before they’re needed; giving people the tools to work their way through this stuff before they are exposed to the years of patrolling and years of rescuing people out of burning buildings and combat and everything else. A lot of it is reactive, that I’ve seen anyways, going on.

Jeff Banman:    16:16    Or teach by PowerPoint.  We’re going to talk about resiliency today. I’ve got to go take my quarterly resiliency class and sit in and click through slides and which I’m not really going to get anything out of because the person talking has no idea what my life is like. And so, I think that’s a big difference for us too.

Scott DeLuzio:    16:36    Absolutely. We’ve all sat through the death by PowerPoint trainings and gotten nothing out of it, but they check the box and they say, well, we’ve done this. Now your resilient. You have the skills you need and go on and do whatever it is that you do. That just doesn’t work as a proactive type of measure. One of the cool things that really got my interest that you started talking about a little bit is the meditation shoot. The reason why that was the thing that piqued my interest when I heard Sherry talking about it on her podcast is because a lot of the people who listen to this show are either current or former military, very familiar with firearms.

Scott DeLuzio:    17:45    So, to some people there’s that fear of firearms, they’re big scary things. They make loud noises; they could potentially be dangerous if not handled properly. And so, people could be afraid of them if they haven’t been trained on how to handle them. But that’s not really the case with people in the military because they’ve had the experience with firearms. So, I feel like that kind of eliminates the barrier to entry to get military members in doing these types of shoots, even veterans. I’m interested in how that works in broader terms not just, we go to the range and we shoot and have a great time. But what is it that makes this unique and what makes the shooting aspect either therapeutic or what helps people by doing this kind of meditation?

Jeff Banman:    18:54    I think we’ve had people that have never touched a gun before in their life. We’ve had people that are terrified of guns and we’ve had all the way up to special operations, snipers out of the range. We’ve run the gamut of people. And it’s always interesting because fundamentally the time on the range in this context has absolutely nothing to do with shooting. When we go shoot, if we got to the range, it’s like, okay, how am I going to do? And I’m always trying to hit where I want to hit. And if we’re on the long-gun range or if we’re on the pistol range, it doesn’t really matter. The people that come with a background in shooting are always very interesting because they suddenly discover that, wait a minute, I’m not on the range today.

Jeff Banman:    19:48    I didn’t go shooting. I’m meditating. That’s actually the purpose of the day. Things start coming up. So, here’s the Foundation for it. Meditation as a practice can be one of the most valuable things you can learn to do, in my opinion. And the style that we teach is very much more an eyes-open presence in practice. So, really at the end of the day, it’s nothing more than getting off the thought trains that are coming in and just coming back to where you are right now. And when you combine it with the breath work, biologically, what happens is it triggers a vagal nerve up through the heart, actually relaxes the fascia around the heart and starts to send signals to the brain that you’re safe. And then you’re anchoring that in the present moment. You’ve got beautiful blue skies, you’ve got Hawks flying by, you’re in this great setting, you’ll hear somebody else fire off a couple rounds and you’ll be like, okay, somebody’s shooting and you get into this state where you are extremely calm and extremely present and your body is relaxed because it is finally feeling safe.

Jeff Banman:    21:07    And then you come over to the gun and the gun is going to present whatever the gun needs to present to you. And so, if you’re too hard on the trigger, if you’re not paying attention to the simple resistance of the trigger and meeting the resistance where it is and pushing and driving through that shot, then you’re going to miss. If your shoulder isn’t into it or if you’re moving or you’re not settled or you’re not following the process, then you’re going to miss. So, there’s all these things that come up and then what you actually get an opportunity to understand is the complexities of time. And that even shooting a gun, you will actually almost always get to a state where you feel trigger, release, hammer forward, hit the primer. Ignite the powder, explosion happens. In the end, the round actually leaves the barrel.

Jeff Banman:    22:03    You’ll actually begin to experience that in an elongated state. And it’s very cool because so often in life, we just jam everything together. It’s press, trigger, bang. That’s it, right? Then we deal with perspective and perception and then conditions and really being present to what’s taking place. And very few have walked away dry eyed by the end of the day. It’s not because you’re crying at something. The balance of it triggers a release in the system where you finally feel safe and the body’s just releasing built up anxiety, built up stress, built up things. And you may laugh hysterically. All the way into tears. You may just dump and cry and that’s okay. That’s all part of it but you walk away with a sense of time that you’ve probably never had before and then a sense of presence that you’ve never had before.

Scott DeLuzio:    23:09    I was not expecting that that would be the outcome from this and that’s, pretty amazing, it’s as powerful as it is. So, how are people then taking away from that and applying it to their daily life, whether it’s their home life or their work life, whether, whatever it is that their job is. Because obviously, we don’t all have shooting ranges in our backyards to go and just meditate every day. How are they able to go through that kind of practice, come away with whatever it is that they come away with and then apply that to their daily lives.

Jeff Banman:    23:59    I think that’s the interesting thing because you know, the meditation practice can be done anywhere, anytime. And we give you the tools to do it in a designated time in action. I mean, it’s what you see is the distinct styles we teach. It’s an always available thing, right? And fundamentally, no matter what we do, nine times out of 10, we are very rarely present to the conditions as they exist right now. We have a lot of expectations we put in place. We do a lot of, what I call future casting. A lot of look forward. A lot of do we need to do that? What about this? Or we exist heavily rooted in the past, right? Pain in the past on things. I often say, fear can’t occupy this space right now, like fear is nothing more than a projection into the future.

Jeff Banman:    25:00    Biologically fear and excitement experiences the exact same way. Body doesn’t know the difference between roller coaster or cliff. So, I can be excited in the present moment, while I can be in a scientifically a state of arousal in the present moment. But that is not fear for it only comes in when I start to project into the future. And that becomes doubt and worry. And so, they practice in bed, a level of confidence enabling you to anchor yourself now, see what’s taking place and then choose your course of action based on the conditions as they exist. And so, the meditation practice you take with you, the meditation practice you integrate into your daily life. And that may be one minute, that may be two minutes, it may be five minutes. It doesn’t have to be an hour.

Jeff Banman:    25:53    It doesn’t have to be all day. You don’t have to buy the cushions, you don’t have to do all these things, you can do it sitting in a chair in the morning, you do it while you drink your cup of coffee, you can do it wherever you need to do it. But really, the takeaway is the ability to anchor yourself. Because we’re rarely here. And that may be interactions with our spouses or our children. If we’re frustrated, it’s probably because we’re anxious about something or we’re dealing with something that happened. And so, when you hit a target at a thousand yards and you hear it ping and you hear the sound travel back to you after a few seconds and you begin to experience real satisfaction because you’re present, the result you just produced.

Jeff Banman:    26:47    And in our world, we’re great at beating ourselves up. We’re great at not good enough. We’re great at, I can do better. We’re great at all these things. And rarely do we allow ourselves to have a victory that we produced. The confidence that I didn’t pull the trigger for you. You did. I didn’t read the conditions, you did. You know, the only reason why that round hit that target at that distance is because you were here and followed the process and made it happen. And so, there’s that success that comes too with it.

Scott DeLuzio:    27:25    That’s a good way to tie it together too, with that visual or audio, no impact of the round hitting the target and it’s saying that that trigger that says, yeah, I’m doing this right. I’m doing something right here. And so that probably helps to boost the confidence a little bit too. In terms of letting them know that this is working. This is something that I’m present, I’m in this moment. I just did this because I followed all of these steps and I did the thing the right way. So, that’s pretty good too. The other thing I wanted to dive into a little bit is the resiliency training and we touched on that a little bit earlier and said, you can’t just do the death by PowerPoint and do that type of stuff. What is the resiliency training look like? Not giving away your secrets or anything, but what does that look like in terms of what are people going to walk away with to be more resilient? So, when something happens or when the 10 years or 20 years of service are catching up to them, what are they able to take away from that?

Jeff Banman:    28:55    I think the core is backed for me around resiliency, which is kind of this big word and has been created as this act, that you’d do something. And in my world, I think that’s absolutely not the case. And so, in the programs that we teach, we do balance, we balance this operational capacity with the rest of our life. And so, you see through the programming that it all aligns. It can’t be all the way up great over here and not care for this other piece of me. And so really there’s two factors we hammer down on consistently and then demonstrate and then train and then show how they come about. The two factors are, one, understanding transitions and how transitions work. So, we all have natural and normal transition points throughout the course of our lives.

Jeff Banman:    29:59    It’s going to work or coming home, maybe that’s taking a lunch break or maybe that’s moving from one spot to the other, whatever it may be. Transitions are great entry points for the action and the action is recovery. So, some of the things we talk about are states of being like, what state am I in? Rather than what I’m necessarily doing. Where am I physically, mentally, emotionally in this moment. And the core aspect that we teach there is how to be recoverable. So, we break down what that looks like, what being recoverable looks like. Because if I can be recoverable, IED goes off. Bang, I’m still going. Holy shit. We got hit by an IED, which means I have a course of action I now need to take.

Jeff Banman:    30:51    If I don’t recover from that moment, if I can’t breathe, settle and get really present to what’s taking place and recognize that now the IED is over, that’s in the past, that’s done. Went bang, we’re on our side, rounds are flying. Whatever’s happening is happening. I need to get present fast and I can’t be stuck in the, Oh shit. The IED just happened. I now have a course of action. I need to take care for the people that are wounded and engage the enemy that maybe ambushing us, whatever’s happening. I need to move forward in action. I can only make that transition if I can recover from what just happened and get present to the conditions as they exist to see the actions I need to take. You know, it’s the same thing walking in the house, are you walking in the house at the end of your shift or the end of your time and you know, kids are flying at you, wife’s/husband’s yelling at you and it’s like you either go bull in China shop right into it and you add to the chaos and the problem or you settle yourself instantly, breathe, look, see what’s taking place and then choose your action based on things as they actually exist, not as you think they exist or as they should exist.

Jeff Banman:    32:12    So, that’s really it. That’s a snapshot of where we get to but at its core that is a mental and emotional process that the more you repeat, the easier it becomes. The body’s familiar to that. And, you know, it’s a re-anchoring process that occurs constantly and comes anywhere from 0.0 seconds to maybe I need a couple of days. When I worked for the agency, I always had about three or four days of transition when I came back into the country and I had to be in the DC area to do my out briefs but I would treat myself to a nicer hotel room. I would have a nice dinner. I would take care of myself before I went all the way home to be with my family because I needed decompression time. And you know, as service people, we don’t take care of ourselves.

Scott DeLuzio:    33:22    There’s no merit that we just don’t, we don’t. I was actually talking to somebody a couple of weeks ago whose son, unfortunately, was a soldier and he lost his battle with his mental health struggles and he just never really transitioned. I don’t think, after coming back home and one of the things that the person I was talking to is the mother of the soldier and she said, one of the things that would be great for soldiers coming back from deployment is if they just went back to work like the next day after getting home and did a nine to five kind of thing and light duty, we’re not going crazy but we’re not going out to the field training.

Scott DeLuzio:    34:19    We’re doing the admin stuff that needs to be done and we’re doing all that kind of stuff. But we’re also checking up on each other and we’re making sure that we are okay before fully getting back home and walking back through that door and going back to being with the family. Obviously, everyone wants to, they’ve been away from their family for a long time but you don’t want to be the person who walks back in and is a completely different person than you were six, nine, 12 months ago, when you left. So, taking a few days like you said, and just decompressing and transitioning back into civilian world, even though you may still be in the military is crucial, I think, to get yourself your mindset back to be able to handle the day-to-day life.

Jeff Banman:    35:16    I think there’s a place where we’d often listen depending on where you come from and what unit you serve in and the context why you joined the military. It’s much easier to operate in the world, much easier to be at war than it is at home. That’s just for sure. People don’t like hearing that. I hope there’s a lot of people nodding their heads right now. Spouses and families, they don’t like hearing that. There is this freedom that comes with operating in the world with doing your job, with being the best you can be with being with your people. And when you come home, you’re not there anymore. And everything at home feels like a nuisance, if you will.

Jeff Banman:    36:18    Well, almost an annoyance. And then we make ourselves feel guilty or annoyed because we’ve been away and the entire time we were away, all we really wanted was to be home and we are home and all we really want is to be back and so those are the fractures. That if we don’t address them, if we don’t have the conversation, we don’t validate it. I mean, nine times out of 10, a lot of what we do in our speaking is we just validate the shit going on in your head. You know what I mean? Like just, yeah, dude, I would rather be at war then at home a lot of times. It’s okay to feel that way. When we start making ourselves wrong for feeling that way, when we let shame creep in, when we let doubt creep in, when we let those things creep in and we don’t just accept who we are and we don’t communicate it that way, does that mean I’m getting on a plane tomorrow? No, but just being able to speak it out loud and say, it’s a lot easier there than it is here.

Jeff Banman:    37:24    Being able to say that and having the freedom to say that and speak to what’s real for us, is so important. And I don’t think we get to do that. We just don’t get to do that. We have to be all right, we’re home now, dad’s home and now give mom a break and take care of the kids. And you know, I just spent three days on the side of a mountain in Afghanistan getting bombarded and now I’ve got three screaming kids running at me and what am I going to do? And man, I just want to go back, you know?

Scott DeLuzio:    37:56    I’m one of the people, I’m sitting here nodding my head the way you were saying and I think I’m in that camp because I’ve seen a lot of people who have expressed that very same  sentiment where they just feel like it would be easier to be over there. It does make sense. There are very clear rules of engagement. There are very clear expectations for your job. When something pops up that’s unexpected, chances are you know how to handle it because just probably shoot at it and until the problem goes away, right? And you come back home and every day is unexpected. Stuff happens, you know? It could be little things too. It could be the kid spilled something in the living room or whatever and it’s just, okay, now what do I do and how do I handle this and how do I deal with the kid who’s jumping on my back while I also have to be helping out around the house and doing all these other things and it’s a lot of unknowns. You wake up every morning not really knowing what’s going to happen.

Jeff Banman:    39:13    And then you have to couple that with the biology. So, you are locked into a biological state of readiness of shoot stuff, command and control and make things happen. You are biologically there. That’s not a mental process. That is an internal biological process that this is where the chronic exposure comes in. You are set in a distinct brainwave pattern for an extended period of time that just doesn’t turn off. You don’t flip a switch and have that turnoff. And so, recognizing that it’s okay because the reason why you feel like you want to be back is because your body is still in that state and it’s looking for an environment to match. I feel like I’m on and ready and looking to move and head on a swivel and this environment doesn’t require that right now.

Jeff Banman:    40:18    So, let me go be where that is required. What we have to do, and this is part of the resiliency and the recoverability and these things that we talk about, what we have to learn how to do is recognize, I need to give my body a chance to actually rewire itself. I need to give my body an opportunity, my biological system, my central nervous system and opportunity to calm down because it’s still running. I may logically know I’m home and everything’s okay and I may want to be home and be with my family or be with my friends or be “normal.”  But my internal system is so spinning and so dysregulated and so wired for this other world that I can’t align those two and then I don’t belong. And then it’s better to not be here and then it’s better to be somewhere else. And then if I can’t be somewhere else, where do I go? And then I’m feeling everybody around me and then ultimately, I just don’t need to be here anymore.

Scott DeLuzio:    41:28    Yeah, absolutely. And I think a lot of people might, like you alluded to earlier, just feel guilty that that’s how they feel and you can’t change how you feel about something necessarily and you just need to, like you said, accept it and work through that situation. So, I talked to another guy on the podcast who I served with and so it sounds like pretty similar to what you’re talking about. And he found the outdoors where he would go and that became his gym, his church, his therapy sessions and everything. He would get outdoors, he’d go for a hike, on a bike ride or whatever it was that he was doing. And that allowed him to transition from whatever that situation was that he was in to the next situation and it allowed him to turn that off. And I think that’s something that a lot of people coming back, especially coming back from a deployment where you’re on every single day, 24/7 but even police, fire, EMS that are on all the time too.

Scott DeLuzio:    42:51    Where they don’t really realize that there is that transition and it’s okay to go through that.

Jeff Banman:    42:58    Yeah. You have to give grace to your system to catch up. I mean, it takes a lot going through the train and going through developing yourself to be an operator at any level. Requires biological impact, requires traumatizing the system. It’d be really good. Just point blank. That’s all it is. And that trauma then develops a heightened sense of awareness and capability and all the great things that make you great in that context. FYI, doesn’t do shit for you at home, you know what I mean unless there is somebody breaking into your house. So, this is where the conflict comes into place and this is where the gap is because you can’t talk your way out of this. You can’t talk your way out of a biological state. It’s not going to happen that way. And some people will, he may even argue with me some of that, but I don’t think so. I think we’ve had enough discussions there. Therapy’s great.  There is a reason for it.  And there is a reason it works, but ultimately you have to give yourself the grace to say, wow, it’s almost like another person inside you and you have to let them spool down.

Jeff Banman:    44:19    And so that’s why the range is great. That’s why some of the things that we teach in the programming that we do, I believe are great because they’re all tools that helps you regulate that central nervous system. Now enable you to actually give some attention to what’s taking place, not make it wrong, just is what it is. And then reregulate yourself back to where you are now. Then you can operate. When you have to go back, it’s not like if I give this up, it’s gone. I promise you. I promise you you’re not going to. You may choose to do something different once you understand how to regulate. And that’s okay because that’s a personal choice. I promise you, as a human being, you can unregulate yourself and go right back to doing your job. And right back to being bad-ass mofo or whatever it is you do. That’s not a problem. It’s not like you have a choice, one or the other. And I think we feel sometimes like it’s either this or that and it’s not that way. It’s not that way.

Scott DeLuzio:    45:26    Yeah, absolutely. So, Jeff, this has been a really great conversation. I wish we had hours to continue the conversation because there’s a lot of good stuff here but we are coming up on time here; so, could you tell us where people can find you and find out more about the Operational Mindset Foundation and everything else?

Jeff Banman:    45:50    Pretty easy. You can go to opmindset.org. The information on the Foundation is up there and available. You can also go to mindsetradio.com. That’s clearly the website for the podcast. The podcast is out and available on all the major platforms. It’s Mindset Radio, so you can just search through there at the website and link through to subscribe. Those are the two main sources. Facebook, I believe we’re at Mindset Radio Podcast on Facebook where you can just search through Mindset Radio, the Operation Mindset Foundation on Facebook and then Instagram or just Mindset Radio, Twitter, we’re Mindset Radio. I’ll send you the links to it all.

Scott DeLuzio:    46:33    I’ll have all the links to all of those in the show notes, too. So, if you’re in the car right now, don’t get into an accident trying to write this stuff down. The links will be there.

Jeff Banman:    46:43    And one of the things I like to always leave is to make sure people know that I am always pretty accessible. I get messages all the time. I do my best to reply as quickly as possible, but you know, if you give me a little grace, but I’ve had people reach out all the time, share what’s going on. We can hop on the call.  My commitment is to be available. I want to just make sure your listeners know that.

Scott DeLuzio:    47:11   For the listeners who are listening to this and might be feeling like some of this stuff resonated with you and you might want Jeff and his organization to come and work with your department or your organization to help your people out, definitely reach out to Jeff. This stuff is no joke. I mean, it works and it’s going to help your department. Ultimately, if that’s something that you’re looking into. So, definitely reach out and give Jeff a call or shoot him a message. I’m sure he would love to work with your organization. So, thank you, Jeff for being on the show. And, like I said, all these links will be in the show notes. So, you can reach out to Jeff there too. All right. Thank you.

Scott DeLuzio:    48:10    Thanks for listening to the Drive On Podcast. If you want to check out more episodes or learn more about the show, you can visit our website, DriveOnPodcast.com we’re on Facebook, Twitter, and Instagram at DriveOnPodcast.

]]> 00:48:31 <![CDATA[Helping Others Find Their Passion]]> Tue, 11 Feb 2020 01:00:00 +0000 Scott DeLuzio https://drive-on-podcast.castos.com/podcasts/2296/episodes/helping-others-find-their-passion Annette Whittenberger is a repeat guest on the show. If you haven’t listened to her previous episode, go give that one a listen. It tells more about her background and what she did while in the military.

In this episode, we talk about what Annette has been up to since getting out of the military and how she has been helping others who have struggled with PTSD and other mental health issues.

Links & Resources

Transcript

Scott DeLuzio:    00:03    Thanks for tuning in to the Drive On Podcast where we talk about issues affecting veterans after they get out of the military. Before we get started, I’d like to ask a favor if you haven’t done so already, please rate and review the show on Apple podcasts. If you’ve already done that. Thank you. These ratings help the show get discovered so it can reach a wider audience. And while you’re there, click the subscribe button so that you get notified of new episodes as soon as they come out. If you don’t use Apple podcasts, you can visit DriveOnPodcasts.com/subscribe to find other ways of subscribing, including our emails. I’m your host, Scott DeLuzio and now let’s get on with the show.

Scott DeLuzio:    00:43    Today my guest is Annette Whittenberger and she is actually a repeat guest on the show. She was on a few weeks ago talking about her experience in the military and as with all of us, our time in the military is not where our story ends. Today we’re going to talk about some of the things that she’s been working on since getting out of the military. And if you haven’t listened to the previous episode, please give that one a listen. I’ll link to that in the show notes. So, Annette, welcome back to the show. For people who haven’t listened to the previous episode, could you give us a quick rundown of who you are and a little bit about you?

Annette Whittenberger:    01:22    Yeah, so I served in the army for over 17 years. I retired as a Major. I was a Chemical Officer.  And so, I started this new chapter in my life once I got out because I got into deep depression and I decided to get out of the fog and do something about it with the help of very good friends.

Scott DeLuzio:    01:47    That’s awesome. I think that’s kind of a story that a lot of people who get out of the military probably could resonate with where they get out and they don’t really have that same sense of purpose or direction that they had while they were in the military. And that is a big struggle for a lot of people. It seems like you have sort of figured out a way to work through some of that issue. And that’s hopefully what we’re going to talk about a little bit here today and also some of the other things that you’re doing to help out other people who might be struggling with the same type of thing or even other issues that they may be going through.

Scott DeLuzio:    02:36    So, in the last episode we did touch on some of the things that you’re doing.  If anyone hasn’t listened to that episode, please go back and listen to that. It will help give a fuller picture of what we’re talking about here. One of the things that you’re working on is your blog called a wild ride cal...

]]> full 37 false Annette Whittenberger is a repeat guest on the show. If you haven’t listened to her previous episode, go give that one a listen. It tells more about her background and what she did while in the military.

In this episode, we talk about what Annette has been up to since getting out of the military and how she has been helping others who have struggled with PTSD and other mental health issues.

Links & Resources

Transcript

Scott DeLuzio:    00:03    Thanks for tuning in to the Drive On Podcast where we talk about issues affecting veterans after they get out of the military. Before we get started, I’d like to ask a favor if you haven’t done so already, please rate and review the show on Apple podcasts. If you’ve already done that. Thank you. These ratings help the show get discovered so it can reach a wider audience. And while you’re there, click the subscribe button so that you get notified of new episodes as soon as they come out. If you don’t use Apple podcasts, you can visit DriveOnPodcasts.com/subscribe to find other ways of subscribing, including our emails. I’m your host, Scott DeLuzio and now let’s get on with the show.

Scott DeLuzio:    00:43    Today my guest is Annette Whittenberger and she is actually a repeat guest on the show. She was on a few weeks ago talking about her experience in the military and as with all of us, our time in the military is not where our story ends. Today we’re going to talk about some of the things that she’s been working on since getting out of the military. And if you haven’t listened to the previous episode, please give that one a listen. I’ll link to that in the show notes. So, Annette, welcome back to the show. For people who haven’t listened to the previous episode, could you give us a quick rundown of who you are and a little bit about you?

Annette Whittenberger:    01:22    Yeah, so I served in the army for over 17 years. I retired as a Major. I was a Chemical Officer.  And so, I started this new chapter in my life once I got out because I got into deep depression and I decided to get out of the fog and do something about it with the help of very good friends.

Scott DeLuzio:    01:47    That’s awesome. I think that’s kind of a story that a lot of people who get out of the military probably could resonate with where they get out and they don’t really have that same sense of purpose or direction that they had while they were in the military. And that is a big struggle for a lot of people. It seems like you have sort of figured out a way to work through some of that issue. And that’s hopefully what we’re going to talk about a little bit here today and also some of the other things that you’re doing to help out other people who might be struggling with the same type of thing or even other issues that they may be going through.

Scott DeLuzio:    02:36    So, in the last episode we did touch on some of the things that you’re doing.  If anyone hasn’t listened to that episode, please go back and listen to that. It will help give a fuller picture of what we’re talking about here. One of the things that you’re working on is your blog called a wild ride called life. And one of the things I wanted to talk about was how you started writing as being a form of therapy or a therapeutic thing for you. Could you talk a little bit about that? What was the decision that you made or how did you come to that decision to start writing about your experiences and things that you’re going through?

Annette Whittenberger:    03:23    So, in the beginning I started on WordPress. I found it, I don’t remember how I found it, but I decided to start writing, but it was more like a journal for me. But I felt like if I put it on paper, it would help me a little bit more. But I kept it a secret. And then I started talking to other soldiers, former soldiers of mine that were telling me how they had felt, you know, they lost their identity and once they got out and it was a real struggle for them. So, I started to feel like, you know what, I’m not the only person that’s going through this because in my mind, no one else understood. They’re not going to understand how it is to get out before you were ready, all those feelings. So, I decided I was going to start a website and it took me about a year because I didn’t know what I was doing. And then I thought I had another veteran

Annette Whittenberger:    04:19    who built websites and I was like, you know what? Let’s just do it. And we’ve launched it. And it was scary because I didn’t tell all my family, not all my friends even knew what I was feeling. So, it was terrifying. But once I hit publish and it was out there, I was like, okay, this is who I am. And I could no longer let it take over me. I mean, it was consuming me as a person, as to feeling like a failure because, you know, I still have peers that were in. And I was like, well, why not me? So, once I started to write, I felt like I, it was a relief and I started having people reach out to me and they started saying, you know, thanks for being so vulnerable.

Annette Whittenberger:    05:16    And I’m like, oh my God, someone’s reading it. Okay, I’m making a difference. I guess I’ll keep going. But you know, it didn’t happen overnight. It’s taken about three years to finally be in that place where I will say anything and everything because that’s too, I am today. And you know, if someone’s feeling depressed and like I totally understand because that was me last year. I, was a suicide attempt, survivor, I’ve been in that dark place and I feel that people need to hear it and we don’t talk about it enough. And so, I think by sharing my story through that outlet and now through all social media, Instagram, Twitter, all that, I am not embarrassed anymore because I wish I would have seen that kind of stuff years ago to know that I wasn’t the only one feeling that way. So, that’s why I’m so passionate about, I just put my story out there and some people are like, how do you just say stuff like that? Why are you putting your business out there? Well, you know, I don’t put like my family business, I put my business because I feel that I don’t want anyone else to struggle that way because I didn’t have that. So that’s how that started and that’s why I’m still doing it.

Scott DeLuzio:    06:44    Well, that’s good.

Scott DeLuzio:    06:49    Looking back at when you first started it, you put the site on WordPress, so obviously it’s a website. It’s out there for the world to see. It’s not password protected or behind a paywall or anything like that. It’s out there. Anybody in the world can go in and visit it.  You just as easily could have put down your thoughts in a private journal, in a notebook or a diary or something along those lines. But you decided to put it out there for the whole world. What prompted you to share that writing publicly? Was it to be able to help other people? What sparked that for you?

Annette Whittenberger:    07:34    I think it was to let people know that it was okay to feel this way. I mean, the army was my life. I will always soldier for life always, but I couldn’t let it define me and take over and I needed to tell people that it’s okay to not be okay. It’s okay to have your days. You’re still a person. And I think I was talking to myself, but also talking to other people. So, it was a self-healing journey. And I think the more people that I reached that reached out to me, the more I started to realize I had to keep going because someone was reading it and I guess I just didn’t really think about that. I was just putting it out there, hoping someone’s going to read it.

Annette Whittenberger:    08:28    Maybe I can save at least one life. The more people that reached out, the more I was like, I got it. I have to keep going and even if they don’t give you a like or they don’t comment, I had private messages, they just didn’t want to be exposed, which is totally fine, but the private messages is what really hit hard for me because they were suffering and they, for some reason, one my posts helped them that day. And that’s all I needed to keep going.

Scott DeLuzio:    09:00    That’s a good point that you brought up, so let’s just say somebody else is in your shoes and they decide, Hey, I want to start writing this stuff and I want to put it out there publicly because I want to help people. Then six months go by, a year goes by or whatever in there. They’re not seeing the likes and the shares and the comments and all that stuff on there. I think, especially around this topic, there may be some people who are not in that place where they want their information to be public or that they maybe resonate with a certain topic or an issue or whatever. And so, they may not like or comment or share the way you might expect that they would for something that you’ve just poured your heart into.

Scott DeLuzio:    09:47    So, if someone is out there who is doing this type of thing, don’t necessarily get discouraged because of the lack of feedback from that because it’s not 100% accurate that this isn’t helping anyone because no one’s liked it or commented or shared it or anything. All of that stuff is really a vanity metric. If you think about it. It doesn’t really matter. It really matters who read it. Who got help from it and who’s now in that much better place because they read your stuff or listened to your stuff or somehow it changed them in some way, shape or form?

Annette Whittenberger:    10:38    I think one thing I want to point out is this topic obviously is very sensitive. So, it’s not like another typical Instagram posts where it’s the dress you wear, how you look that day. You can’t base it off of the likes. You really can’t. If you’re going to go through this journey, you have to be prepared that if you’re expecting to be popular, it might not happen. You just have to know that you’re doing it to help other people. And that’s it. You’re not doing it to be famous. You’re not doing it to be popular, to be liked. People are reading it. And that’s really what you have to focus on is that you’re helping somebody else, not anything else. So, if you’re doing it to get exposure, to be popular, it’s not going to happen. It’s going to take time to reach as many people as you want but you just have to focus on what your why is.

Scott DeLuzio:    11:43    I don’t think this is a popularity contest. It’s not a contest that anyone would really want to win anyways. It’s really and truly just trying to be helpful. Like you’re saying and I think that’s pretty much the reason why I started this podcast.  I don’t have sponsors right now. I don’t advertise. I’m not making any money. As a matter of fact, it costs me money to run the podcast between the equipment and the hosting for the audio files and everything like that. I’ve lost money doing this. It’s money that I’m happy to spend on this trying to get the message out there to people who might need to hear it to help them out.

Scott DeLuzio:    12:32    I know we hear stories all the time of people who were in a dark place and they just didn’t know, either where to get help or didn’t trust the people who they thought we’re going to give them help and they didn’t know what to do. They just were trapped. They felt like they were trapped and they didn’t really see another way out other than harming themselves or getting involved with alcohol or drugs or you name it. There are countless stories out there of all these things. And if we can help somebody with episodes like this, then I’m happy to spend a little bit of money to get that out there and help people with all that. So switching gears a little bit, so the writing sort of acts as a form of therapy for you in terms of being able to get the message out there and it turned into something that people were reaching out saying, Hey, this is actually helping me on that really resonated with me and thanks for sharing all of that stuff.

Scott DeLuzio:    13:38    You’ve taken that and you’ve moved into a few other projects that you have going on. The first one that I want to talk about is your podcasts. So, you have a podcast and we were talking a little bit before we started recording about the podcast. The stories that people tell and that they are trying to get out there. Why don’t you tell us a little bit about the podcast and what it’s all about and who might be a good guest on the show, if anyone is listening and might want to be a guest on a podcast to share their story. Maybe even for the first time.

Annette Whittenberger:    14:25    I’ve been wanting to find another way to reach more people to help them. And one night it came to me and I was like, that’s it. The truths we hide. And so that’s what the podcast is called. And I think I really base it off of my own experiences because I have a lot of things that I have not told people. And it wasn’t until my adult years where I was like, you know what, maybe that’s why I am who I am, this has a little bit to do with it. And so I figured, well, I know there were other people out there and if there’s anyone out there who’s ready to talk about that in order to help other people so they can give advice as to how they overcame it, then that’s who I would love to have on there.

Annette Whittenberger:    15:12    And so I’ve had a former soldier that I was deployed with and he came on and he said he was messed up when he went. He said, “When I deployed, when I came back and now, I’m doing this, this and this.” And so that’s what I think other men and are other women need to hear is that, yes, you came back and it wasn’t okay, but now I’m better because I’m doing this kind of work. And so that’s what I want. It’s not just for veterans. I’ve had veterans, I’ve had military spouses, but it’s not just us, there’s so many other people that are affected. So, I want that kind of people/guests on the show that are ready to talk about it. And so, I’ve opened it up and I have a Facebook page. You could go on there and fill out the Google form. And right now, I’m actually booked out until March, which is exciting, but I welcome anybody because I really want to help more people that are feeling this way.

Scott DeLuzio:    16:20    Right. And so, just for context, this is the day before Thanksgiving, 2019 and you’re already booked out through March. And so, you already have quite a bit going on, in terms of the number of

Scott DeLuzio:    16:38    people that you’re going to have interviewed on that podcast, which is amazing by the way. Congratulations on that. But if anyone who is listening to this episode now, is hearing this and it sounds like something that you might want to be a guest on, you want to share your story or whatever. I will have a link in the show notes to the podcast and to the Google form where you can go and sign up to be a guest on the show. So, you can look for that there and hopefully extend out into the summer with the number of guests that you have on the show and beyond. That definitely sounds like a great show. And even if that’s not a podcast that you feel like you would be a good guest on, it might be a good podcast for you to listen to. So, definitely go over there and subscribe to that podcast as well and listen to those episodes.

Scott DeLuzio:    17:45    Switching gears a little bit. These are the things that you’ve been creating publicly; that you have been sharing publicly. Let’s talk about the veterans’ story project and what you’re doing with that. That’s still a little bit of a work in progress if I’m not mistaken.

Annette Whittenberger:    18:05    Yes. So, why I wanted to do something a few years ago and collect stories to eventually put it into a book.  I have had people that have sent in things anonymously, which is absolutely okay because they want to share their story to help other people. So, if you don’t want to use your name and you want to use a pen name, absolutely. Okay. We can set up a time to talk, we can figure out what you want to share and go from there. But that’s been a work in progress until I can get some more and then eventually get that published.

Scott DeLuzio:    18:41    Oh yeah. Awesome. And so, what types of stories are being included in that?

Annette Whittenberger:    18:47    It’s anything from combat or not combat, anything that you experienced while you were in the military really. It’s anything you want to share that you struggle with that you want to put out there and say, okay, this is it. I want to say something.

Scott DeLuzio:    19:04    I’m sure there’s probably some people who are listening to this podcast who may have a story or two to tell that might fit in there as well. So again, if that’s you and you want to share a story, please feel free to reach out to Annette to see if that story might be a good fit for this project that she’s working on. You’ve also been doing some public speaking and mentorship as well. What kind of people do you work with, what organizations have you worked with, and how did you fall into that type of work?

Annette Whittenberger:    19:46    I’m a talker. I love to help people. I’m a mentor with Better Roddy and I’ve had active duty, I’ve had Better, and I have military spouses that they go and find me based off of what they’re looking for. And we talked for about an hour and it’s just mentorship on either what to do after the army, how to become a blogger, some entrepreneurship, just things like that. I like to help people find their passion because I know that we each have something that we’re passionate about. We just sometimes need help finding it. And I love to do that. That’s what I do with those calls. I also work with an organization; it’s called a Bead Daring Foundation is a nonprofit based out of Arizona. The founders, actually an ASU alum like myself, so we are both Sun Devils.

Annette Whittenberger:    20:37   We help educate college campuses about mental health and try to end that stigma. And we also are bridging the gap with law enforcement, first responders and college students so that they can understand that they can ask for help and how to deal with each other. And we also provide resources. And that’s where I did my first speaking engagement in Arizona in August. It was on a mental health summit to where I shared my story and told them how I overcame the trauma and dealt with it and how I can live a normal life with PTSD, depression, and anxiety. So that’s what I’m doing now. We’ve actually just got a partnership with the Phoenix Suns. There’s going to be a 5K- run/ walk in Arizona on February 8th. So, we’re trying to reach everybody and help end the stigma.

Scott DeLuzio:    21:37    That actually hits close to home for me. I actually live in Arizona. I’m in the Phoenix area and so it’s interesting that all of this is going on right in my backyard, so to speak. That’s awesome. So, the Bead Daring Foundation. So, you said that they’re working with colleges and things like that to help bridge that gap between the first responders and military who might be attending the college. Is that that accurate?

Annette Whittenberger:    22:16    Yeah. We’re trying to keep them in college. We don’t want them to leave because they’re stressed out and they’re going through pressure. We’re trying to keep them there. So, we’re providing resources to help them do that. So, yes, that’s what we’re doing.

Scott DeLuzio:    22:29     I know a lot of guys who have been in the military and ladies who have been in the military; they get out of the military or they transition from active duty to the guard or reserves and they are now going to college. They’re using their GI bill or whatever benefits that they have. And they’re there. They’re going to college and they feel like the grandpa or grandmother was sitting in the back of the classroom or in front of the closet wherever they are in the classroom. They’ve got years of experience from the military or whatever. And they’re sitting in the classroom with 18, 19, 20-year old kids who seem like babies to them the way they act sometimes; it’s almost like two different worlds. You have this hardened military veteran who is on one level of thinking and then you have these kids who are fresh out of high school who are more immature and they don’t really get life at that point.

Scott DeLuzio:    23:47    One of the things that has helped me and I don’t know if this will resonate with other people necessarily or not, but I figured I’d mention it. You see this 18-year old kid who maybe is complaining about their Starbucks not getting the right order or whatever. Let’s put it this way, a seemingly inconsequential thing to someone who has dealt with far greater, far more severe things that carries far more severe consequences. The way I look at it is that we, as the military or the first responders or whatever the case may be, whatever your background is, we’ve done our job because they don’t have to worry about planes falling out of the sky. They don’t have to worry about buildings getting blown up or all those things that were, especially in the days after 9/11 were very real concerns for a lot of Americans and a lot of people around the world, quite frankly.   They don’t have to worry about those things anymore because, not that they don’t have to worry about them, it’s just that they don’t worry about them because they haven’t happened in, for some of these kids in their entire lifetime.

Scott DeLuzio:    25:12    They haven’t really had to worry about that. And so, they haven’t grown up in a world where those were things that they had to worry about. People like the veterans and the first responders and all of that; they’ve done their job. So, instead of maybe getting ticked off that, Oh, this kid is complaining about a coffee and they don’t even know what the real world is like and all this stuff. Instead reframe that mindset and say, Hey, you know what? This kid, the worst that they have to worry about is the type of coffee that they got or how if they got the right size or whatever, that’s the worst thing they have to worry about. Hats off to us. We did a good job. We’ve kept the fight someplace else where other people now don’t have to worry about it.

Scott DeLuzio:    26:01    And it’s not our problem to really have to worry about, it’s not the problem of the youth of this generation or whatever that they have to worry about those things anymore. And that was something that when I came to that conclusion, it really helped me in rephrasing the narrative in my own head. Instead of looking at this as some ungrateful punk kid who doesn’t know anything about the world, looking at it as, “Hey, you know what, things could be worse, that kid could have other things to worry about, but he doesn’t. So, I don’t know if that is helpful to anybody else, it certainly helped me a little bit. Are there other programs or other things that you guys do with the first responders or with the institutions themselves to help make that connection? What are some of those things that you guys do?

Annette Whittenberger:    27:04    So we’re in the process of creating online courses. We’re going to be giving out self-care boxes. So, we’re creating all that right now. It’s only been about two years old, the Foundations. So, we’re really just trying to get, I don’t want to use more exposure. We’re trying to get out there to show people that there are resources. We are a program that we want to help because it’s not within the veteran community. You know, it’s not like we have that it’s just for actual civilians, so we’re just trying to put that out there to show them that there’s something going on in the Phoenix area.

Scott DeLuzio:    27:46    Well that is a lot of stuff that you have going on. You are definitely keeping busy.  I think that’s an important thing, especially for people who might be struggling with that readjustment after getting out of the military is keeping busy and having a sense of purpose. I think you talked a little bit about that earlier, in terms of how your writing is helping other people. And that’s kind of who you are now, that person who’s putting themselves out there and writing to all of these people. I think that’s important for people to take in and find that sense that thing that gives them that sense of purpose. The military is not there anymore. If you’re out, you know, you don’t have that anymore.

Scott DeLuzio:    28:37    to fall back on and say, Oh, I’m a soldier, or I’m a Marine, or whatever the case may be, you don’t have that to fall back on anymore as your sense of purpose. So, now it’s up to you as the veteran to find that sense of purpose, which sounds like it is something that you’ve done through all the things that we talked about today. And I’m sure there’s other things brewing. If you’re anything like me, you have other things brewing in the back of your head that might be coming up in the future. But we won’t talk about that now because I don’t want to spill the beans on anything that might not be a fully formed idea or whatever. So, thank you again for sharing all of this. I think it really could help other people with where they’re at. Where can people go to find out more about some of these things that you’re doing?

Annette Whittenberger:    29:34    So the podcast, you could go to Facebook under the Truths We Hide and then there’s the Google form that you could fill out if you’re interested. You can also go to my website and Wildridecalledlife.com and you can also email me at awildridecalledlife@gmail.com.

Scott DeLuzio:    29:54    Okay, wonderful. And I’ll have links to all of that in the show notes as well as some of the links to the other episodes that we talked about to your previous episode and other things like that in the show notes. So, thank you again for sharing and joining us today.

Annette Whittenberger:    30:09    Thank you so much.

Scott DeLuzio:    30:15    Thanks for listening to the Drive On Podcast. If you want to check out more episodes or learn more about the show, you can visit our website, DriveOnPodcast.com we’re on Facebook, Twitter, and Instagram at DriveOnPodcast.

]]> 00:30:35 <![CDATA[Drug Rehab For Veterans]]> Tue, 04 Feb 2020 01:00:00 +0000 Scott DeLuzio https://drive-on-podcast.castos.com/podcasts/2296/episodes/drug-rehab-for-veterans Sam Huss is with RehabSpot, an organization that helps people struggling with addiction get back on the road to recovery.

Sam has an important message for those who are struggling with addiction. He wants you to know that it is possible to get help for your addiction. And just because one treatment option didn’t work for you in the past, doesn’t mean you should quit trying to find help. There are plenty of options available from inpatient, outpatient, 12 step programs, spiritual healing, and more.

Also, for family members and loved ones of those who are struggling with addiction, he has an important message for you too. It’s all too easy to start with accusations “we could have done this if you weren’t drinking so much”. But it doesn’t help. Actually, it will most likely cause the addicted to shut down and not seek help, even if they know they need it.

Links & Resources

Transcript

Scott DeLuzio:    00:03    Thanks for tuning in to the Drive On Podcast where we talk about issues affecting veterans after they get out of the military. Before we get started, I’d like to ask a favor. If you haven’t done so already, please rate and review the show on Apple podcasts. If you’ve already done that. Thank you. These ratings help the show get discovered so it can reach a wider audience. And while you’re there, click the subscribe button so that you get notified of new episodes as soon as they come out. If you don’t use Apple podcasts, you can visit DriveOnPodcasts.com/subscribe to find other ways of subscribing, including our emails. I’m your host, Scott DeLuzio. And now let’s get on with the show.

Scott DeLuzio:    00:46    Hi everyone. Today my guest is Sam Huss. Sam is the community outreach specialist with Rehab Spot and Rehab Spot helps people who are struggling with addiction and their families to find the information in the support and resources that they need in order to get help. So, Sam, welcome to the show. Why don’t you tell us a little bit about yourself and what Rehab Spot does?

Sam Huss:    01:09    Sure, absolutely. As you said, my name is Sam. I do community outreach across the country and even further than that. The main goal of Rehab Spot is to offer information about a topic that generally people don’t discuss often or at least not often enough as people should. Our goal is to offer every single aspect of drug and alcohol use, addiction and treatment to as many people as possible. That’s the glory of the internet. Having an open access web guide is for anybody. Of course, with the nature of drug and alcohol addiction, it’s not necessarily something that’s always talked about and especially with the people that are affected by it. So that’s part of our premise that it is best to offer these things on the internet so that anybody can access them whenever they need.

Sam Huss:    02:04    It’s a guide and is meant for everybody but the main focus is particular demographics that are usually affected by addiction. This is a widespread, usually it’s people who have difficulty accessing treatment. This can be obviously from the stigma alone or financial difficulties. Some people are in positions that might be compromised by having an addiction issue. For example, like first responders, firefighters, police, EMS, all thos...

]]> false Sam Huss is with RehabSpot, an organization that helps people struggling with addiction get back on the road to recovery.

Sam has an important message for those who are struggling with addiction. He wants you to know that it is possible to get help for your addiction. And just because one treatment option didn’t work for you in the past, doesn’t mean you should quit trying to find help. There are plenty of options available from inpatient, outpatient, 12 step programs, spiritual healing, and more.

Also, for family members and loved ones of those who are struggling with addiction, he has an important message for you too. It’s all too easy to start with accusations “we could have done this if you weren’t drinking so much”. But it doesn’t help. Actually, it will most likely cause the addicted to shut down and not seek help, even if they know they need it.

Links & Resources

Transcript

Scott DeLuzio:    00:03    Thanks for tuning in to the Drive On Podcast where we talk about issues affecting veterans after they get out of the military. Before we get started, I’d like to ask a favor. If you haven’t done so already, please rate and review the show on Apple podcasts. If you’ve already done that. Thank you. These ratings help the show get discovered so it can reach a wider audience. And while you’re there, click the subscribe button so that you get notified of new episodes as soon as they come out. If you don’t use Apple podcasts, you can visit DriveOnPodcasts.com/subscribe to find other ways of subscribing, including our emails. I’m your host, Scott DeLuzio. And now let’s get on with the show.

Scott DeLuzio:    00:46    Hi everyone. Today my guest is Sam Huss. Sam is the community outreach specialist with Rehab Spot and Rehab Spot helps people who are struggling with addiction and their families to find the information in the support and resources that they need in order to get help. So, Sam, welcome to the show. Why don’t you tell us a little bit about yourself and what Rehab Spot does?

Sam Huss:    01:09    Sure, absolutely. As you said, my name is Sam. I do community outreach across the country and even further than that. The main goal of Rehab Spot is to offer information about a topic that generally people don’t discuss often or at least not often enough as people should. Our goal is to offer every single aspect of drug and alcohol use, addiction and treatment to as many people as possible. That’s the glory of the internet. Having an open access web guide is for anybody. Of course, with the nature of drug and alcohol addiction, it’s not necessarily something that’s always talked about and especially with the people that are affected by it. So that’s part of our premise that it is best to offer these things on the internet so that anybody can access them whenever they need.

Sam Huss:    02:04    It’s a guide and is meant for everybody but the main focus is particular demographics that are usually affected by addiction. This is a widespread, usually it’s people who have difficulty accessing treatment. This can be obviously from the stigma alone or financial difficulties. Some people are in positions that might be compromised by having an addiction issue. For example, like first responders, firefighters, police, EMS, all those types of professions tend to have really high stress levels. And there’s actually, for example, there is a major trend of alcoholism in firefighters. Just as an example. Those people might not be so inclined to approach getting help on these types of things. Because it’s not an easy thing to face, needless to say, going to cost time and costs energy; it’s going to cost money more often than not.

Sam Huss:    03:03    So it’s definitely not easy. But that’s the idea. We want to try and familiarize all these things. We try and provide this information for probably centuries now there’s been street information and street smarts and stuff like that about these different substances. So that is another one of our goals is to offer facts completely unbiased, reliable facts on all of these things. Again to fight the stigma of it. We try to approach people who might have mental illnesses. There is a big section on our website that talks about recurring disorders and how different things like anxiety or PTSD with veterans for example, manic depression, various different disorders and conditions are affected by using drugs and alcohol. We try to reach out to those people as well. High rates of addiction and abuse such as with homeless communities is a very big thing with impoverished. Impoverished demographics and we try to reach out to generally anybody that might be affected by it or even a family member that’s concerned about maybe their cousin’s alcohol use or their mother’s drug use for something like that. We tried to make the goal of Rehab Spot to make every bit of this topic available to anyone that might need it.

Scott DeLuzio:    04:25    That’s a great mission to have because like you said, there’s some people who are not willing to just go out and start talking to people about it and tell everyone about their problem. Even though they may recognize the fact that they have a problem with drugs or alcohol.

Sam Huss:    04:41     It’s stigmatized and yet almost everybody knows about it. And yet still it’s 2020 and still people have this huge weight on their shoulders about it. But it makes a big difference to make it a widespread topic. Like mental health has become finally a big contemporary topic in America and this is a part of it.

Scott DeLuzio:    05:05    Exactly. I was reading through your website RehabSpot.com and it says there’s a section that says veterans suffer from a higher rate of drug addiction than the general population. Why is that? What is it that’s special about veterans or maybe unique about them and perhaps it’s more than just veterans, maybe like you’ve mentioned before, first responders and things like that? Maybe we’re in a larger category but what is it about veterans in particular that that makes them a little bit more susceptible to the addiction aspect?

Sam Huss:    05:47    Well with veterans in particular, we’ve found that they are a demographic that faces a perfect storm of conditions that more often have a high tendency to addiction. It’s mostly three things, comes down to stress, obviously being in the services in any sort of listed service is a very stressful thing. There’s a lot of responsibilities. Not only that, but there is after your responsibilities when you come back transitioning into civilian life it’s obviously day and night have a difference. So, a lot of veterans have trouble acclimating to either their responsibilities for switching back into normal life and a lot of them will use substances to sort of cope and situate themselves into these conditions. A lot of the time the veterans will have open access to a lot of these things, which is a very big problem as well.

Sam Huss:    06:45    Well obviously any veteran and can access the VA. But really all you have to do is say something as simple as PTSD. They’ll prescribe you Xanax, they’ll prescribe you sleeping pills, because yes, there are a lot of injuries and illnesses that comes from serving. And so, there’s a very quick trigger to prescribe hydrocodone for a leg sprain that you might’ve had during the service. And a lot of that can snowball very, very easily. Especially because veterans are very often left alone. I mean, of course they still have access to government programs to help with care and health care and everything like that. But generally speaking, it’s very unfortunate a lot of veterans are left on the wayside after they have done their part.

Sam Huss:    07:38    As I was saying with homeless communities, there is a strong correlation between veterans and homelessness. Veterans from recent Wars or veterans from Vietnam, anything. It’s just a very, very strong correlation. So along with the health problems that they will have in general after serving it just has a combination of different dimensions where an answer to each one of those dimensions is use drugs or use alcohol. It’s not necessarily that it’s alcohol, it’s obviously a very common thing, even in the service it can be a very common thing to drink with your comrades and everything like that. But it’s ignored about how that can affect someone in the long run. But there’s just different things. All these different combinations of factors with veterans in particular. That is the reason why we see so much addiction with people who have served. But it’s very unfortunate. And like I said, it can be widely ignored by veterans themselves even.

Scott DeLuzio:    08:46    Sure. Absolutely. Okay, so, let’s say there’s a veteran out there who is suffering from addiction of one substance or another and actually it doesn’t even have to be a veteran, right? It could be anyone that’s addicted to something. What are some of the things that family members or friends, coworkers, other loved ones can do to encourage that person to go and get help if they’re recognizing that there’s a problem or discovering that they’re using drugs that maybe they shouldn’t be using, maybe abusing stuff that they were prescribed for an injury and they’re continuing to take it long after the injury has been healed or whatever. Or they’re drinking in excess night after night after night. Things like that. These people can’t go and hog tie the person and force them into a treatment facility or anything. So, what are some practical things that they can do to go and help encourage them to go and get help?

Sam Huss:    09:46    Well, the chief important thing is the understanding of the situation. It’s very well, I wouldn’t say easy. It is difficult to approach these things just because it is so sensitive but it’s very easy to approach someone that you care about with accusations or blaming it on this or that. But the absolute most important thing when you have a concern about a family or friend is understanding the situation. And it can be very hard to spot that there is a situation, there’s a couple of different obvious indications, their physiology, they might not look healthy, they might have different sleeping patterns, mood shifts, things like that. But it is most easy to tell when there’s a problem. If you notice it interrupts their daily activities in any sort of way, whether it’s work or chores or just around the house, things you start noticing things like that are awry, then it’s not necessarily a surefire thing that they have an addiction problem, but you know, it might indicate that you can approach that.

Sam Huss:    10:54    You always want to approach it with compassion. You don’t want to accuse him of anything because as with the stigma of drug addiction, they’ll very quickly shut down and put up a brick wall and then it just compounds the problem even further. So, you definitely want to be cautious, even to the tone of it, you want to approach it very softly and delicately. You don’t want to sugarcoat it. You have to be realistic about the situation. We’ve got to be mindful about how the other person is feeling. You want to be supportive about the whole thing. You don’t want to say, Oh, you’re addicted to heroin, that’s bad. So you have to stop. You have to justify it with things like, I’m worried about you. I want you to do well. I am concerned that this, your behavior is affecting other parts of your life rather than I don’t want you to be addicted.  Just sort of give them some perspective on how it’s affecting you and your friends and your family, anything like that. But you want to make a note. It’s because I care about you. That’s the only reason. And you have to genuinely mean it too. You can’t just say it, you have to care about the person.

Scott DeLuzio:    12:05    Yeah. And you know, that all makes sense too because tying back to what you first said about some of the reasons that veterans are more susceptible to the fact that they’re being more likely to be addicted. One of the first things you said was the stress of the job. If you go and you add more stress onto the situation with an accusation or just start berating the person and saying, Oh, how could you do this and all that type of stuff that’s potentially just adding more stress to the situation, which is probably going to make the situation even worse because they found a coping mechanism to deal with the stress, which is using the drugs or whatever that they’re addicted to and then they’re going to continue to do that because now there’s this added level of stress.

Sam Huss:    13:07     It’s very autonomous when it comes to that. And then the psychology of a person who is addicted to a substance, it’s very self-dependent and they don’t want to have to turn to external sources or it definitely just compounds the problem. But it’s very difficult to do there. Matter of fact, we have on Rehab Spot, we have a page is called family, but the entire topic of it is how to approach the whole situation. There’s four different sections of it going all the way from how you can tell to how to support them after the rehab process. But there’s a large section strictly because it is very difficult to handle the whole thing. It does constitute a guide in order of how to do it. It’s the only reason it’s so important is because it is so sensitive. It’s like you said, it could go spiraling off in the opposite direction way too quickly.

Scott DeLuzio:    14:03    Yeah, absolutely. And like you said, a lot of people are basically trying to self-medicate and they want to handle this on their own. I think that comes from the culture too of a lot of times in the military it’s, just suck it up and be a man

Sam Huss:    14:22    Exactly. I was about to say those three words. That’s typical behavior. That’s the general, I’m conscious of it. It is a very rough environment, needless to say. So, it’s like I said, people are used to internalizing that.

Scott DeLuzio:    14:38    And so, you’re telling people all along, suck it up, suck it up, suck it up. And so, they do, and then they realize that they have no place to turn to get help and talk to people or whatever. And so, okay, now I have to figure this out on my own.

Sam Huss:    15:00    You have to be so mindful of their context and where they’re standing with things, because it’s not necessarily a reaching statement, but it’s generally safe to assume that if you’re approaching someone who has an addiction problem, they probably got a lot more going on in terms of the topic. They have a lot on their plate and it’s not easy for them to address either.

Scott DeLuzio:    15:21    Sure. No, and I’m sure it’s a big topic. It’s a difficult topic. There’s a lot of stigma around it even though I don’t really think there should be, if you have a problem, any sort of problem, you go in and get help for it.

Sam Huss:    15:40    Everybody has problems. It’s about 45% of people who have a substance use disorder have some sort of other problem. Like whether it’s their mental health or their physical condition, there’s some other problem that adds to it. But that’s the thing. Every single different person has their own set of problems. It’s just a matter of how they handle it.

Scott DeLuzio:    16:06    Yeah, exactly. So, we’ve gotten our loved one who’s addicted to something to accept the fact that they need some help. We’ve gone through the steps that you were talking about. Understanding the situation, talking to them because we care about them and we want them to get help. We don’t like seeing them struggling on their own to get through this. So, maybe they’ve gotten into a program and they’re starting to get treatment or they’re seeing someone to get that type of help. So, could you walk us through that process that they might go through to get to an eventual successful recovery? I know that process is going to be different for everyone. Generally speaking, there probably is a path that’s more likely to be successful than others.

Sam Huss:    17:04    Yes, definitely. There’s a bunch of different pathways but there are a couple of different parts to all the different options that make them effective. First is to have, it’s hard to fully digest this one, but the person that’s going into treatment has to know that it’s possible rather than getting inundated with all the details of it and how difficult it might be. It’s better to know and keep in mind that it is possible. Even though it’s difficult, people have hundreds of thousands of people have been able to recover and they’ve been sober for months or years or decades. So it’s throughout the entire process there’s going to be a lot of trials and tribulations. It’s most important to keep in mind that it is possible, just takes time and effort. It’s also important to consider all your options ahead of time.

Sam Huss:    17:58    It’s like you said, there are various different paths to treatment but not all of them are going to fit every single person. There’s inpatient, there’s outpatient, there’s different types of therapies, art therapy, there’s EMDR therapy. There’s 12 step programs, of course but it’s definitely important to consult with every single different type of treatment to get an idea of what might work best with you. They actually have a section called treatment on rehabspot.com. It talks about all the different types of treatment that are out there, spiritual treatment, ones that might focus on a particular faith and there’s spiritual treatment of both, some things like yoga, but it’s just very important to consider every single one of them. That being said, as you’re talking about with highest rate of success with treatment. Across the board, inpatient treatment tends to be the most successful and it is primarily because it’s a more controlled environment. There’s plenty of different treatments where you can do it from home or do with the group or anything like that but there’s just high tendency of relapse or not sticking with the program. And these treatment programs are in place for a reason.

Sam Huss:    19:21    Yeah. So, if you fully control the environment helping you every single day for a schedule of recovery, then it’s just a higher success rate completely across the board for that. So that tends to be the most helpful of all of them. When you are in treatment, it usually helps to connect with those around you, whether it’s the counselors that are helping you or other patients that are in there for this for a similar thing like you, a lot of substance users tend to internalize things and it’s not easy for them to externalize things or rely on people around them or sources around them. So, it helps to connect with the people in treatment around you just because you might realize some similarities. It might make you realize some things about yourself based on their situation.

Sam Huss:    20:16    So, it’s good to reach out to what is around you. That’s why all those resources are there, especially within an inpatient program. Just use everything that you have to your advantage. Another helpful thing is after treatment to seek out some sort of support group. Of course, there are 12 step programs, almost anything anonymous by now. I think all types of support groups, there’s plenty of different meetings for people who have been in that type of thing. Obviously, relapses are a very real possibility for anyone who’s gone through treatment. And it’s not necessarily like they’re going to stay with the same group everyday of their lives. I’ll make sure I don’t relapse again. But just communicating and collaborating on those sorts of things. And it helps you figure out what works best for you or little tricks that might keep you from maybe falling into the same path.

Scott DeLuzio:    21:16    Well, that’s good. I like hearing about the steps that they can take both from the family members of the loved ones or people close to that person who’s addicted but also knowing that there is a path that they can take that has been done before. They’re not treading in unchartered waters. They’re not blazing their own trail and everything. If you look at the people who’ve been addicted to various substances, they’re not rising up and achieving all these great things because they’re having the struggle that they’re trying to work through. But the people who do overcome the addictions, those are the people who have the potential to go out and achieve these great things. And so, there’s some hope there. If you’re feeling like your life’s a mess and all these things are wrong and your job sucks.

Sam Huss:    22:28     It is easy to get bogged down with all of the details.  But you have to keep the hope alive. When it comes to recovery. It’s really just a bunch of steps. It’s just multiple successes, things that you have to do in order to reach an end goal. So, technically speaking, it’s not necessarily difficult to figure out. It’s just a matter of having to do it. It’s scientific. Anatomically speaking, it is an incredibly difficult thing. You have a brain imbalance. Once you’ve put a substance into your body to the point where it has a dependence, it’s very difficult. But doing something like keeping hope alive and staying well-informed and connecting to those around you will make it that much easier. Absolutely. But like we said, most people don’t have any awareness of this whatsoever. It’s very daunting. We have a section called the treatment process and it goes all the way from consulting and the admission process to post treatment and all of those things. So, it’s not necessarily a super complex thing. There’s just a lot of steps to it and you just have to know how to approach it for your own situation.

Scott DeLuzio:    23:39    Right. And another thing that I’ve found it interesting with addiction topic is the topic of or the idea of your surroundings and the people who you associate with and the neighborhood that you live in possibly. And the people that are around you could play a role in the addiction that you might have. We had a guest on the show a few months ago who was talking about how very toxic relationships that he had in his hometown with his family and his friends and stuff. And it led them to some bad situations. And he wound up deciding that he just needed to get away from it all because he didn’t want his life to go down that path. He saw where some of his friends were going and where other relatives and things were and that’s not the life that he wanted for himself. And so, he moved a whole state away. It wasn’t just like he moved the next town over, he just packed up and moved and it was not an easy transition. He suffered homelessness and he had other issues. He was still battling with but he’s running a very successful business now and he’s married, has kids, has a nice home and everything like that. And he’s doing better.

Sam Huss:    25:08    That’s incredible for him. He’s one of the lucky ones. Unfortunately, this is so easy to become a product of your environment with situations all the way down to toxic relationships. We have an entire section on Rehab Spot talking about the effect of domestic violence addiction. And because the whole situation, product, the environment, hard to stand up and do something about it. It’s the environment isn’t very easy to escape, especially if it’s your family and your friends definitely wanted the lucky ones to get out of that.

Scott DeLuzio:    25:38    Yeah. I think it’s important for people to know that it’s possible. You know, some people feel like, Oh, well I’m in this relationship, or Oh, I can’t disrespect my parents or whatever.

Sam Huss:    25:54    And that’s that. And then they just never tried to approach it.

Scott DeLuzio:    25:57    Exactly. And so they never attempt to get out of that situation. And it’s like if that’s what’s weighing you down and that’s what’s keeping you from getting better and becoming the person that you’re meant to be, then you might need to do something about that and change scenery. There’s a study that I was reading about in, I can’t remember the book now. I’m going to have to figure that out and I’ll put it in the show notes. There was a study that I was reading about soldiers who were in Vietnam and who were getting addicted to all sorts of different drugs that were available to them while they were in Vietnam. They did some studies on them and they said as far as we know, as soon as you’re addicted to these drugs, there’s no hope, you’re basically going to be addicted for life.

Scott DeLuzio:    26:49    But once when they came back home, it was a staggering number. It was like 75 or 80% of the people who were addicted to drugs while in Vietnam when they came back home, back into their families, back in their neighborhoods that they came from and all this stuff, they got away from the drugs and they weren’t doing the drugs the way they were doing it while they were in Vietnam because it was readily available. They are around a bunch of other people who were just as stressed as they were. They were all looking for a way to relieve that stress and they were coming up with unhealthy ways to relieve the stress by doing that. But then they came back home and they didn’t have their neighborhood drug dealer who was available for them. And so, the availability of the drugs was harder to get access to. I’m not going to say it’s impossible because I’m sure it was if they really sought it out. But they also had the support network of people who were there, their wives and their parents and their other family members who were around who were able to help them out with that. And so, the value of changing scenery is potentially lifesaving.

Sam Huss:    28:10    Yes. It definitely can be. Sometimes it’s a little more difficult than that just because in some situations when they all are in active duty, sometimes the drugs are incredibly abundant over there. It’s actually a considerable fraction of veterans with addiction problems. That’s where it came from. The example in some of the Wars in the early 2000s, American soldiers were administered dextroamphetamine, which is, you know, it is speed, stimulants were administered on duty and it’s speed, it is a couple of molecules away from crystal meth. So, it is addictive and these people are administered it while they’re working, while they’re doing their job. And then it’s like, okay, well thank you for your services. And then what are they left with? They’re like a speed addiction more or less. It’s a very, very real thing.

Sam Huss:    29:07    Also, there is the situation of prescribing opioid painkillers for injuries, whether it’s for long-term prescription for chronic pain or whether it was a blast that happened a few feet away from you. And here’s something to kill the pain. In the meantime, either way, opioids are very slippery slope. About 80% of contemporary heroin users started by using a legal pharmaceutical. So it is a very, very difficult thing. But that’s the thing, a lot of these veterans are very directly being fed some of these drugs and in situations where they might not necessarily be able to say no. And then after the smoke clears, quite literally what are they left with an addiction, go back home, get back to your civilian life, here’s an opioid addiction. You know, it’s a very unfortunate thing. Like I said, a lot of spinnerets tend to just get left on the wayside unfortunately to deal with these things by themselves, which really nobody can deal with this type of thing by themselves.

Scott DeLuzio:    30:14    This has really been a lot of really great information. Is there anything else about Rehab Spot or addiction in general that you wanted to add that you wanted anyone to know about?

Sam Huss:    30:26    The only thing I can recommend, whether someone listening is dealing with maybe an addiction or they know someone who is, the first, the most important thing is to just take the first step. I mean, it doesn’t have to necessarily be approaching yourself or the person with the problem but just educate yourself. Use the resources that are available to you. That’s the primary function of rehabspot.com is to offer this information to the people that might need it. It’s so easy. I mean, the internet is a glorious thing. It’s able to be accessed by a majority of the population now and to have access to all of this information. It can be very enriching. It can be priceless in the right situation. The main thing that I would have to say is just take the first step. Educate yourself, look up a couple of things. There are so many different complexities to addiction, science of it and the recovery, so just educate yourself. Don’t be afraid to look out information, seek out the right sources of information in order to approach these things. It’s so easy to just let it fall on the wayside and then the next thing you know, we have an overdose or worse fatality. It’s always just important to take that very first step to figure out what is going on.

Scott DeLuzio:    31:41    Absolutely. Taking that first step. Sometimes it can be scary. Sometimes it could feel like it’s hard to do but in the long run it’ll be totally worth it and you’ll be better off for it. So Sam, thank you for your time. Where can people go to learn more about Rehab Spot?

Sam Huss:    32:00    Go to RehabSpot.com. It’s pretty simple to navigate from there. Along the top, the bunch of different sections and with those are different subsections. For example, if you go to a search function. If you search a veteran on RehabSpot.com you’ll be met with four different pages. We have a page that talks about drug use with veterans, alcohol use of veterans, benzodiazepine use and opioid use. Just because those four things are very particular commonalities with veterans. But yeah, just go to rehabspot.com and it’s very easy to click through. Everything’s very, very accessible.

Scott DeLuzio:    32:39    Great. And I’ll link to all of that in the show notes as well. And I see you guys have some social media accounts too, so I’ll put those in the show notes so people can easily follow there and get in touch with you guys should they need it or look up the information that they need it. So, thanks again. I always think the right information in the right place can really change lives. Thank you.

Sam Huss:  Absolutely. All right. Thank you so much, Scott.

Scott DeLuzio:    33:11    Thanks for listening to the Drive On Podcast. If you want to check out more episodes or learn more about the show, you can visit our website, DriveOnPodcast.com we’re on Facebook, Twitter, and Instagram at DriveOnPodcast.

]]> 00:33:31 <![CDATA[Cultural Differences and Rebuilding a Nation]]> Tue, 28 Jan 2020 08:00:11 +0000 Scott DeLuzio https://drive-on-podcast.castos.com/podcasts/2296/episodes/cultural-differences-and-rebuilding-a-nation Amanda talks about her time in Afghanistan as part of the PRT in Kapisa. Part of her job was building schools and other facilities, which is not an easy task in a war torn country like Afghanistan.]]> full 35 false Amanda talks about her time in Afghanistan as part of the PRT in Kapisa. Part of her job was building schools and other facilities, which is not an easy task in a war torn country like Afghanistan.]]> 00:41:10 <![CDATA[Stepping Outside of Your Comfort Zone]]> Tue, 21 Jan 2020 01:00:00 +0000 Scott DeLuzio https://drive-on-podcast.castos.com/podcasts/2296/episodes/stepping-outside-of-your-comfort-zone Jason Mosel has made an attempt at the world record for the most number of burpees in a 12 hour period.

He’s ran ultra-events like 50 and 100 mile races.

He’s going to be doing a 200 mile race, which will lead up to an 888k race which he’ll do in 10 days.

But he’s not a natural born athlete. He keeps pushing himself outside of his comfort zone though, which enables him to attempt these huge tasks. Even if he doesn’t complete them or hit his goal in a given period of time he doesn’t quit.

That’s the overall message of this episode. Step outside of your comfort zone, and give it your all. Don’t quit.

Links & Resources

Transcript

Scott DeLuzio:    00:03    Thanks for tuning in to the DriveOnPodcast where we talk about issues affecting veterans after they get out of the military. Before we get started, I’d like to ask a favor if you haven’t done so already, please rate and review the show on Apple Podcasts. If you’ve already done that. Thank you. These ratings help the show get discovered so we can reach a wider audience. And while you’re there, click the subscribe button so that you get notified of new episodes as soon as they come out. If you don’t use Apple podcasts, you can visit DriveOnPodcasts.com/subscribe to find other ways of subscribing, including our email list. I’m your host, Scott DeLuzio. And now let’s get on with the show.

Scott DeLuzio:    00:44    Hey everyone. Today my guest is Jason Moselle, a former Marine. Jason is I honestly don’t really know how to say other than he’s an absolute machine when it comes to physical fitness.  I was introduced to Jason through a former guest, Valerie Pallotta back from Episode 27 and I’ll post the link to that episode in the show notes so you can listen to that one, as well. He’s been doing some great things for the Joshua Pallotta fund, which we talked about in that episode as well as raising awareness for veteran suicide prevention in general. Jason, welcome to the show. Why don’t you tell us a little bit about your yourself, a little bit about your background?

Jason Mosel:    01:25    As you said, my name is Jason Mosel.  I am a former Marine. I was a 03-52 tow gunner in the infantry. I was in the Marines from 2003 to 2007. I was stationed over in Camp Pendleton, did two deployments to Iraq, one to Okinawa, Japan. After I got out, we can get into the nitty gritty details a little bit more as we get on but I did have some ups and downs to put it lightly. And then around 2013, I got into running obstacle course races and physical fitness and it’s taken off from there. And now I’m training for my next big feat, next May to run a 500-mile race.

Scott DeLuzio:    02:19    Awesome.  I think we definitely want to get into some of the physical fitness things that you’ve been involved in. So, before we get into that though, let’s maybe take it back a little bit to your deployments to Iraq. You said you had two deployments to Iraq. What were some of the struggles, some of the hardships, if you will, that you went through while you were deployed and then later on after you got back from the deployments, what were some of those things that you went through?

Jason Mosel:    02:56    You know, it’s funny when I look back at the actual deployments.  Everybody’s story is going to be different and the reaction to what happens is going to be different. But honestly for me, when I look back at the deployment itself, it got to the point, when we were over in Iraq that there wasn’t really anything while you’re there, that’s per se. There are times that you see one of your buddies from your platoon get...

]]> full 34 false Jason Mosel has made an attempt at the world record for the most number of burpees in a 12 hour period.

He’s ran ultra-events like 50 and 100 mile races.

He’s going to be doing a 200 mile race, which will lead up to an 888k race which he’ll do in 10 days.

But he’s not a natural born athlete. He keeps pushing himself outside of his comfort zone though, which enables him to attempt these huge tasks. Even if he doesn’t complete them or hit his goal in a given period of time he doesn’t quit.

That’s the overall message of this episode. Step outside of your comfort zone, and give it your all. Don’t quit.

Links & Resources

Transcript

Scott DeLuzio:    00:03    Thanks for tuning in to the DriveOnPodcast where we talk about issues affecting veterans after they get out of the military. Before we get started, I’d like to ask a favor if you haven’t done so already, please rate and review the show on Apple Podcasts. If you’ve already done that. Thank you. These ratings help the show get discovered so we can reach a wider audience. And while you’re there, click the subscribe button so that you get notified of new episodes as soon as they come out. If you don’t use Apple podcasts, you can visit DriveOnPodcasts.com/subscribe to find other ways of subscribing, including our email list. I’m your host, Scott DeLuzio. And now let’s get on with the show.

Scott DeLuzio:    00:44    Hey everyone. Today my guest is Jason Moselle, a former Marine. Jason is I honestly don’t really know how to say other than he’s an absolute machine when it comes to physical fitness.  I was introduced to Jason through a former guest, Valerie Pallotta back from Episode 27 and I’ll post the link to that episode in the show notes so you can listen to that one, as well. He’s been doing some great things for the Joshua Pallotta fund, which we talked about in that episode as well as raising awareness for veteran suicide prevention in general. Jason, welcome to the show. Why don’t you tell us a little bit about your yourself, a little bit about your background?

Jason Mosel:    01:25    As you said, my name is Jason Mosel.  I am a former Marine. I was a 03-52 tow gunner in the infantry. I was in the Marines from 2003 to 2007. I was stationed over in Camp Pendleton, did two deployments to Iraq, one to Okinawa, Japan. After I got out, we can get into the nitty gritty details a little bit more as we get on but I did have some ups and downs to put it lightly. And then around 2013, I got into running obstacle course races and physical fitness and it’s taken off from there. And now I’m training for my next big feat, next May to run a 500-mile race.

Scott DeLuzio:    02:19    Awesome.  I think we definitely want to get into some of the physical fitness things that you’ve been involved in. So, before we get into that though, let’s maybe take it back a little bit to your deployments to Iraq. You said you had two deployments to Iraq. What were some of the struggles, some of the hardships, if you will, that you went through while you were deployed and then later on after you got back from the deployments, what were some of those things that you went through?

Jason Mosel:    02:56    You know, it’s funny when I look back at the actual deployments.  Everybody’s story is going to be different and the reaction to what happens is going to be different. But honestly for me, when I look back at the deployment itself, it got to the point, when we were over in Iraq that there wasn’t really anything while you’re there, that’s per se. There are times that you see one of your buddies from your platoon get killed or you have to do things that are really tough but the thing that happens is that you’re there for so long, that it just becomes a way of life almost. And so, you’re waking up with the mindset of, well, I’m probably going to die today. That’s bad.

Jason Mosel:    03:58    So, while you’re there, there’s the things that are like, okay, today was tough but we got through it and tomorrow you wake up, all right, I survived another day and you move on. When you come back is when all of a sudden that car just stops and now you start to take in everything you just did. And that was where the real struggle began for me; I was looking back on everything. And all of a sudden, you’re going a million miles per hour. And then you just hit a wall and you’re not moving anymore. You’re not on edge anymore, but you’re still on edge. You’re not at war anymore. So, there was just no turning it off. You were there for so long, you’re like high awareness, high intensity, high adrenaline and then you’re back. All right, you’re back, you’re good. Shut off the warrior and go be a civilian again. Well, that’s not how it goes.

Scott DeLuzio:    05:12    Exactly. And that it becomes a survival mechanism, basically. I mean, there’s so much bad stuff going on around you that you sort of have to change who you are and start acting in such a way that you are hyper vigilant and always head on a swivel, always looking around and everything like that. You have to keep that going just for survival and then coming back, it’s not like a light switch. You can’t just flip it on and off. And you still continue with that after you get back home. So, after you got back from your deployments, you started to struggle a little bit with some of your own issues, after coming back in terms of not necessarily being able to turn the stuff off. Would you care to share a little bit about that because I think that that is part of your story that led into some of your physical fitness type things that I’d like to lead into a little bit.

Jason Mosel:    06:31    Yeah. Where we’ll start is with the first deployment and the first deployment to Ramadi, Iraq back in 2004. One of the things that stood out to me after coming back was when we lost a buddy of ours from our platoon, Jeffrey Morris, and he was hit by an RPG. And at the time it was tough.

Jason Mosel:    07:06    There’s so much going on at that time. And as an 18-year old kid, the only thing you can think of is revenge. I mean, to be honest, that’s the only thing that was on my mind and a few other people’s minds. I don’t know about everybody but I know for a few other people it was like, you’re not going to fuck around. We’re going out there and we’re just going to fucking decimate at that point. And you know, we get through the deployment and then coming back, it’s like you’re now able to sit there and not just turn off the switch of war but be a civilian, you’re cool. But it’s on top of that. You’re now having all of these things kick back. And you know, I’m not a scientist, I’m not a doctor.

Jason Mosel:    08:01    I don’t know how the fucking brain works. But I’ll tell you what happens in my case. There are moments in time when I was over there that I cannot remember. You go into a firefight and I remember the RPG, bam, hits the Humvee, and then black and then you’re in the middle of the firefight and then black and then middle of firefight and black. So there’s like all these gaps in time and you’re there, but it’s a little bit odd because then when you come back, all of a sudden it’s like Pandora’s box is opened in your mind and maybe it’s while you’re sleeping and you have that dream or you hear something and it just triggers that. It’s the key to unlock that door in your mind that just all of a sudden, bam, it opens up and you’re like, Holy fuck, like this

Jason Mosel:    08:52    just happened and it just hits you. And so, I was going through a lot of that. But on top of that, it’s reliving that night when Morris was killed and it’s like, what could I have done differently? Could I have done anything differently? Like, could I have done something or should I have done something that would have brought him back to his family that wouldn’t have taken this 18-year old kid from this world so soon. And those things started to really chip away at my foundation just as a person. And you know, when you talk to people and especially at that time, I’m not going to slam the VA every, I have my personal opinions, which I’ll keep to myself and everyone has their own personal opinions. But at that time, it was like, here are your pills.

Jason Mosel:    09:46    You’re having trouble sleeping. Here’s your Trazadone, have the Zoloft. Did that work? Okay, well that didn’t work here. Take this all right, that didn’t work. Go talk to the chaplain. Well, that didn’t work. Well, I don’t know what the fuck to do for you buddy. You just need to suck it up. And you know, it got to the point in 2005, we were on our deployment, to Okinawa Japan that I just said the hell with all of this and tried to take my own life. And that is the start of my journey back upwards in a sense when I look back at it now, that was definitely the start of my journey back up. I basically just took all my pills and swallowed them down, washed it down with some alcohol and said that’s it.

Jason Mosel:    10:37    I’m out. So, I was found, they brought me to the mental ward body block and basically, I felt like as though I was treading water for the rest of my time in the military. I did get sent back to Iraq for a second deployment after that. That was what it was. And I came back, got out and me and my wife, we moved from Camp Pendleton up to Vermont because we didn’t have family there. We didn’t know anybody there. And the one thing about Vermont is there’s not a fucking thing here. And so, it was perfect for someone like me because it just got me away from everything.  What I found is though I was still struggling and I decided I’m not going to take any pills because pills just made me feel like a zombie, not me, everything like that. So instead I just gave up one addiction, if you want to call it that way, only it was a prescribed addiction for another one, which was alcohol and would just drink myself stupid. And that was really how it was up until 2013.

Scott DeLuzio:    12:04    So that’s probably a good time to bring in this transition now where you got into these physical fitness challenges and tried to push yourself to different extremes, if you will. I know just to talk about a couple of these challenges. I know earlier this year you attempted to break the world record for burpees, I believe it was back in March, if I’m not mistaken. At that time, you were trying to do 5,000 burpees over the course of 12 hours?

Jason Mosel:    12:52    yes,

Scott DeLuzio:    12:53    Is that correct. And for anyone who doesn’t know what a burpee is, because it is an exercise that is sort of hard to explain in words but it’s essentially where you start off standing up, you drop down on all fours to almost like a pushup position, basically do a pushup and then kick yourself back up and do a jump. And that’s essentially one repetition. Is that essentially accurate for that?

Jason Mosel:    13:28    The most accurate you can get through talking about it. I mean the listeners, if you want to know what it is, Google it.  A chest to ground burpee, put it in Google, look at them. No, you’ll see what it is. It sucks. It’s a terrible, terrible movement that hurts after you do so many and then you really want to do a challenge. Just try and do it quick.

Scott DeLuzio:    13:54    Yeah. So ultimately, you fell a little bit short of that 5,000 burpees goal that you had, but breaking the world record wasn’t really the ultimate goal of that challenge was it?

Jason Mosel:    14:11    No. I mean, I fell a lot short of that but it wasn’t ever about this record for me, there were a few things like when you look back at what we did, we livestreamed it on social media because my mindset behind it was that I knew from my past that when people, whether it’s veterans or whether it’s civilians, I don’t really like to say PTSD in veterans and I do a lot of things for veterans. But when it came to this, it was more about a mental health type cause and when I speak to people, it’s about mental health because anybody can have PTSD, whether you’re a veteran, whether you’re a rape victim, whether you are a victim of molestation, anybody. From my own past, from the struggles that I had in the night,

Jason Mosel:    15:08    it was always the hardest. You can’t sleep. And even though everyone and their mother told you to call me whenever you want, you don’t want to feel like a burden at two, three in the morning, one in the morning, whatever it is, so you don’t call anybody. And so, what I decided to do, we’re going to live stream this. Because if someone’s out there and they’re struggling, they don’t want to call somebody. I want to give them easy access to see that somebody out there is just getting the fuck after it and that if they’re like, all right, this guy can go for it; I’m going to go for it. And so, the other thing to that was that because I knew that the hardest time was at night, I decided, all right, we’re going to do this record attempt at night. We’re going to go from six o’clock at night until six o’clock in the morning.

Jason Mosel:    15:49    I’m going to do this without any sleep or anything like that because on top of this record. It was more about a struggle and I wanted to try to tie together the mental struggle with physical struggle and hopefully I did portray that a little bit and what I did. I think at the end of the day and of course people are jumping on and off definitely skewed the number, but it doesn’t matter. I mean, at the end of the, the live stream, we had around 60,000 views. Oh, people throughout the world. So, regardless of the number that I ended with, which was 3,194, well shy of that 5,000 number. I know that from just people that have reached out to me afterwards that I reached my goal of changing one person’s life because that’s what it was all about. We raised money for the Josh Pallotta fund, which was awesome and amazing. I know I’ve changed at least one person’s life in the fact that I may have saved someone’s life was completely and utterly worth all the pain and discomfort that I went through that night.

Scott DeLuzio:    17:03    Right? And I mean ultimately you kept going until the last possible minute, right? You didn’t give up at all throughout that entire 12 hours.

Jason Mosel:    17:13    Oh God. No, because I would feel like a fricking hypocrite if my whole thing is telling people, don’t quit. Don’t quit. Don’t quit. Don’t quit. And then I say at midnight, Oh Christ, I’m not going to make this record. Well, pack it up boys. Let’s go. No, fuck that, you keep going until the very end because that’s what it’s about. It’s about not quitting.

Scott DeLuzio:    17:39    And ultimately the number of burpees that you did was a personal record for you anyway. So, is that correct?

Jason Mosel:    17:48     Oh yeah, yeah!

Scott DeLuzio:    17:53    You did it, in my mind anyways, if I was looking at this, there’s no failure in this. Like this was all good stuff. You smashed. I mean, I don’t think I’ve done that many burpees my entire life, never mind in 12 hours. So, you’re definitely not going to find any complaints out of me, in terms of, gee, why didn’t you do more? You know? But this isn’t the only type of a challenge that you’ve put yourself through, you’ve consistently been going through different races and other physical challenges and coming up, I wanted to mention this, coming up in a few months in May, you have another challenge that you’re going to be putting yourself through which I can’t even wrap my head around some of this stuff but it’s also to support the Josh Pallotta fund with this 888 kilometer race that you’re going to be doing over the course of 10 days. If you do the math, it’s about 550 miles. So that’s what, about 55 miles a day that you’re looking to do

Jason Mosel:    19:12    yeah. About two marathons.

Scott DeLuzio:    19:14    Yeah. That’s the equivalent of about two marathons, not just the equivalent of two marathons. That’s two marathons every day for 10 days back to back to back to back, all the way through at the end of May and that is quite impressive. Tell me a little bit about that challenge and what prompted you to want to get into that and everything.

Jason Mosel:    19:43    So like, before we get into that, let me just like start back to

Jason Mosel:    19:51    2013 so that we can see the progression to where that came from because one misconception when it comes to this is there’s two big ones I hear. One is that you’re built for this. I’m not, I can never do that. And two is that you’re a born athlete. I hear that crap all the time. So, in 2013, a friend of mine came to me and said, Hey, there’s this thing called tough mudder, which is a 10-mile obstacle course race. Why don’t you come and do it with me? And “Oh yeah, absolutely; I can do it.” It looks cool. I was a Marine so I can definitely run 10 miles and we’re going to have fun. So, I did it and yes it kicked the shit out of me because even though it was only what at that time, three, six, years after I had gotten out of the Marines, I was completely in shape, right?

Jason Mosel:    21:06    While I was in the Marines run a three-mile, 18 minutes for the PFT was nothing. And then six years afterwards though I looked like a chewed piece of bubblegum that couldn’t even fucking go like a quarter of a mile or a half a mile without just dying. So even though it did beat the crap out of me, it was like this community of people that was amazing and it was this sense of something that you crossed that finish line and it’s like, wow, I just did that. If I’m capable of that, what else am I capable of? And as I started to go through training exercises on a daily basis and pushing that limit, I started to realize one thing and I think it really came to fruition around 2015 when one day I looked in the mirror and said you’ve been doing all this drinking because you’re trying to sweep something under the rug and you’re not sweeping anything under the rug because this is who you are.

Jason Mosel:    22:28   What has happened to you in the past is now you. And so, a lot of the times when I talk, I always talk about my demons and that’s what it is. I now have what I call a demon in my head. And every morning I wake up, that motherfucker has to pay rent for being in my head because nobody should allow anything or anybody to live rent free in their mind. So, what I started to do was for this demon to pay rent, I had to put him through a little pain and that pain was my training. So, what started with a tough Mudder then moved to the world’s toughest Mudder, which is a 24-hour tough mudder course. You just run it for 24 hours, however many loops you can get. Then that started to go to endurance events.

Jason Mosel:    23:32    A death race in Pittsfield, Vermont where hurricane heats with Spartan, which turned into running ultra-events where running the Spartan ultras to 50 milers to hundred milers and always pushing that limit. And when it came to the burpees, we discussed in the beginning here about raising awareness for PTSD, having a conversation with my wife and I was talking about and this may rattle a few cages of people that are listening, but this is just the way I think. Raising awareness is all well and good, but for somebody that’s going on Facebook and putting hashtag 22 pushups a day, what in the fuck are you doing? Like what are you doing? You’re talking about some things that everybody knows about. And it was one of those nights where my wife was like, what are you going to do?

Jason Mosel:    24:40    And I was like, what am I going to do? What am I good at? I’m good at putting my body through pain. So, let’s put that together. And that’s how the burpees came about. It’s not just about doing 22 pushups a day for 22 veterans that take their lives. It’s about showing those veterans that are just going through a mental struggle, what you’re capable of where you’re able to go. And by having the live stream, you can see it by raising the money for a Val, for the Josh Pallotta fund that’s helping start an actual place that veterans can go. It’s not just about the awareness piece, it’s about what can I do to help the community of people. And so, after the burpees, this year I’ve done a few other endurance events.

Jason Mosel:    25:47    I’ve done a few ultra-marathons and now it’s setting my sights on the next thing. Because honestly, no one gives a damn what you did yesterday. You have to continuously make that demon pay rent. So, the next step in that is going to be this 500 miler, which is a huge task to take on. It’s going to be in a small town called Goshen, Vermont. I’m at a race called Infinitus that the endurance society puts on. It’s the same concept where we’re raising money for the Josh Pallotta fund. I’ve been working on getting a community of people to actually run their own 888 K but they don’t have to do it in 10. They can do it at their leisure. Give them a goal of trying to raise $888 for the Josh Pallotta fund. So, if we get a hundred people and we’re able to raise 800 or 80,000, $888 and so leading up to that, it’s just training. In February I’ll be doing a test run race, if you want to call it that. It’s a 200-mile race in El Paso, Texas in February. And then after that it’s onto the 500 or the 888.

Scott DeLuzio:    27:23    Wow. That’s amazing. I think some people could probably resonate with those demons in their head and a lot of people don’t necessarily think about making them pay rent the way you put it. I like that. They shouldn’t be living there, rent free and you should definitely do something about that I don’t know necessarily if the physical challenges are the right thing for everyone. Again, like you said earlier, I’m also not a psychologist.  I don’t know the science behind all of this. The things that happen in our heads but there’s something to be said for achieving some of these goals, crossing that finish line after that tough Mudder, even though it was only 10 miles and you thought, Oh, that’s nothing.

Scott DeLuzio:    28:27    I can do that. But then it kicked your ass and then eventually you did cross the finish line. There’s something to be said for that sense of achievement. I know a few years ago I did my first half marathon and I had never done a half marathon before. I don’t think I’d ever run more than seven or eight miles before that and I just decided to pick up and do it one day and my legs were burning, my feet were on fire, everything hurt at the end of that. My body just wasn’t ready for that. But when I took that last step and I crossed over the 13.1 miles or whatever it is, I had the sense of accomplishment that I did something. I’m able capable of doing this thing that previously was not possible to me in my head.

Scott DeLuzio:    29:26    It just wasn’t something that I was able to do. And it opened up a world of possibilities. There are things I can do. There are other things that I haven’t done yet that I can do now. And I think that someone who maybe is struggling with some of these demons that might not feel like there are things that they can do that might help them realize they have greater potential there. There’s more in them then what they have previously accomplished.

Jason Mosel:    30:01    I always tell people too, I say, don’t get too wrapped up in my story and say, well, I’m not good at physical fitness. Neither are a lot of people. And that’s okay. My whole thing when it comes to this is that for me, for my sanity, I have to do what I have to do. I wake up at 3:00 AM every day regardless of what it’s doing outside in the snow and the rain and the heat and the cold or whatever. And I’m out there and I’m getting after it and some people are like fuck all of that. Like no, and that’s fine. But what I tell people is that whatever it is that is going to do the same thing of what these physical activities did for me, then you have to do it and you have to put every ounce of energy into it.

Jason Mosel:    30:55    So it could be the physical activity, it could be starting your own business, it can be getting that college degree, it could be leaving your job and getting that better job that’s going to make you happy, that promotion or hell you could be into, like I’ve said this before, you could be into knitting. I don’t care. You just better knit the fuck out of that blanket. And just go all in. Everything you’ve got goes into that. And that’s what it’s all about. It’s not about like pushing your body to a limit physically. It’s about taking everything you have that passion and putting it all into whatever it is that’s going to make you happy. When you cross whatever finish line it may be, whether it’s getting that degree, starting that business, knitting that blanket, it doesn’t matter. Whatever your finish line is, put every fucking thing you have into it.

Scott DeLuzio:    31:50    I’ve talked to a few other people on this show between artwork, painting and photography, music, yoga, outdoor rock climbing and things like that. A similar message came out of those interviews where people were pouring themselves into whatever it was that they were doing. And they focused all of their energy, all of their attention on that activity. So, a lot of good stuff here and I could probably talk to you for hours on this but I don’t want to keep you too long. We are coming up on time here but I do have one last question that I do like to ask people

Scott DeLuzio:    32:40   on the show and the question, there’s no wrong answer to this question. You can answer it with it as serious as you want or with a joke it doesn’t matter. Is there anything that you wish somebody would have told you before you joined the military? Any piece of advice or anything like that that you wish you would’ve had before you joined the military that you could have carried through your career and even beyond?

Jason Mosel: Nope.

Scott DeLuzio:  No. Okay.

Jason Mosel:  Because if anybody gave me any bit of information that would change the course that I’m on now, who knows where I would be, who knows if I’d be here, who knows if I’d be happy.  Sometimes I guess what I think about and when I think about the past, I think about how as shitty as it was and how terrible times were, if you don’t go through that, then you don’t learn. You don’t grow, you don’t strengthen anything. Do I wish that people that have been killed are still with us today? Absolutely. Do I wish that anything in my own personal life was different?

Jason Mosel:    34:15    It’s a hard question to answer because I’d be a totally different person and who knows whether I’d be happy or not. But what I do know is that if I could go back in time and tell me that going into the military, I would buckle the fuck up because it’s going to be a hell of a ride. And that’s it.

Scott DeLuzio: That’s actually great advice for anybody who is considering joining the military or is in their early stages, maybe within the first year or so of a military career who maybe hasn’t realized that is a truth to the service that they’re entering. But definitely think that that is a great piece of advice. So, thank you for that and for sharing a little bit about your story and everything that you’ve gone through and things like that. I think it really can be helpful and inspiring too, to the people who might be going through similar struggles on their own.

Jason Mosel:  Yeah, no problem.

Scott DeLuzio:  All right. Thank you.

Scott DeLuzio:    35:40    Thanks for listening to the Drive On Podcast. If you want to check out more episodes or learn more about the show, you can visit our website, DriveOnPodcast.com we’re on Facebook, Twitter, and Instagram at DriveOnPodcast.

]]> 00:36:01 <![CDATA[Loss of Identity After 17 Years of Service]]> Tue, 14 Jan 2020 01:00:00 +0000 Scott DeLuzio https://drive-on-podcast.castos.com/podcasts/2296/episodes/loss-of-identity-after-17-years-of-service Annette Whittenberger spent 17 years in the US Army. After getting out, she felt lost as if her identity was ripped away from her.

Fortunately she has found ways to cope with that feeling and has even gone on to help others in similar situations.

Links & Resources

Transcript

Scott DeLuzio:    00:03    Thanks for tuning in to the Drive On Podcast where we talk about issues affecting Veterans after they get out of the military. Before we get started, I’d like to ask a favor. If you haven’t done so already, please rate and review the show on Apple podcasts. If you’ve already done that, thank you. These ratings help the show get discovered so it can reach a wider audience and while you’re there, click the subscribe button so that you get notified of new episodes as soon as they come out. If you don’t use Apple podcasts, you can visit DriveOnPodcasts.com/subscribe to find other ways of subscribing, including our email list. I’m your host, Scott DeLuzio, and now let’s get on with the show.

Scott DeLuzio:    00:44    Today my guest is Army Veteran, Annette Wittenberger, who’s here to talk about her time overseas, Annette spent 17 years in the Army and now helps fellow Veterans with post-traumatic stress disorder as a motivational speaker by reminding them that they’re not alone.  Annette, welcome to the show and why don’t you tell us a little bit about yourself.

Annette Wittenberger:    01:04    Hi, thank you very much for having me on. So, I was raised in California, a small town called SUNY Valley. That’s where all the fires were happening until three weeks ago, unfortunately.  I was raised by my mom. My parents were divorced at six years old, so it was my mom and I and my brother and I lived in California until I was 21 and that’s where I decided to go to college in Arizona. And that’s when I decided to try out the ROTC program, the Reserve Officer Training Corps, because I wasn’t really sure how the military was going to be for me. I was scared to enlist at 17 so I said, let me try it out in college.  I told myself, I’ll try it out for a few years and see where it goes. And then I met my husband and then 17 years later, it’s like, what happened?

Annette Wittenberger:    01:55    And so, I enjoyed it. I ended up 17. I was given the option to retire because I did not, this is always hard for me, but I did not make the promotion list to a Lieutenant Colonel. And so, that really crushed me.  I think that’s when everything, all the emotions started to come in. Everything that happened to me started pouring out and it was just like all of the depression hit. It was just really a bad time. That’s when it all started.

Scott DeLuzio:    02:32    So, 17 years is still a nice long career in the military. That’s nothing to be ashamed about. Hats off to you for that, that is definitely an accomplishment. A lot of people don’t make it nearly that long in the military. It’s not an easy life to live especially with moving back and forth and all these other things that you might have to experience through the military with deployments and everything like that. It’s definitely not an easy thing. Speaking of deployments, so you deployed to both Iraq and Afghanistan, is that correct?

Annette Wittenberger:    03:16    Yes.

Scott DeLuzio:    03:17    Okay. Would you be able to tell us a little bit about what you did over there?

Annette Wittenberger:    03:22    Yeah, so in 2005, 2006, when I dep...

]]> full 33 false Annette Whittenberger spent 17 years in the US Army. After getting out, she felt lost as if her identity was ripped away from her.

Fortunately she has found ways to cope with that feeling and has even gone on to help others in similar situations.

Links & Resources

Transcript

Scott DeLuzio:    00:03    Thanks for tuning in to the Drive On Podcast where we talk about issues affecting Veterans after they get out of the military. Before we get started, I’d like to ask a favor. If you haven’t done so already, please rate and review the show on Apple podcasts. If you’ve already done that, thank you. These ratings help the show get discovered so it can reach a wider audience and while you’re there, click the subscribe button so that you get notified of new episodes as soon as they come out. If you don’t use Apple podcasts, you can visit DriveOnPodcasts.com/subscribe to find other ways of subscribing, including our email list. I’m your host, Scott DeLuzio, and now let’s get on with the show.

Scott DeLuzio:    00:44    Today my guest is Army Veteran, Annette Wittenberger, who’s here to talk about her time overseas, Annette spent 17 years in the Army and now helps fellow Veterans with post-traumatic stress disorder as a motivational speaker by reminding them that they’re not alone.  Annette, welcome to the show and why don’t you tell us a little bit about yourself.

Annette Wittenberger:    01:04    Hi, thank you very much for having me on. So, I was raised in California, a small town called SUNY Valley. That’s where all the fires were happening until three weeks ago, unfortunately.  I was raised by my mom. My parents were divorced at six years old, so it was my mom and I and my brother and I lived in California until I was 21 and that’s where I decided to go to college in Arizona. And that’s when I decided to try out the ROTC program, the Reserve Officer Training Corps, because I wasn’t really sure how the military was going to be for me. I was scared to enlist at 17 so I said, let me try it out in college.  I told myself, I’ll try it out for a few years and see where it goes. And then I met my husband and then 17 years later, it’s like, what happened?

Annette Wittenberger:    01:55    And so, I enjoyed it. I ended up 17. I was given the option to retire because I did not, this is always hard for me, but I did not make the promotion list to a Lieutenant Colonel. And so, that really crushed me.  I think that’s when everything, all the emotions started to come in. Everything that happened to me started pouring out and it was just like all of the depression hit. It was just really a bad time. That’s when it all started.

Scott DeLuzio:    02:32    So, 17 years is still a nice long career in the military. That’s nothing to be ashamed about. Hats off to you for that, that is definitely an accomplishment. A lot of people don’t make it nearly that long in the military. It’s not an easy life to live especially with moving back and forth and all these other things that you might have to experience through the military with deployments and everything like that. It’s definitely not an easy thing. Speaking of deployments, so you deployed to both Iraq and Afghanistan, is that correct?

Annette Wittenberger:    03:16    Yes.

Scott DeLuzio:    03:17    Okay. Would you be able to tell us a little bit about what you did over there?

Annette Wittenberger:    03:22    Yeah, so in 2005, 2006, when I deployed to Iraq, I was a company commander for a new unit. And so that was my focus and making sure that my soldiers are trained, deploy them there, do our mission and bring them all back. Afghanistan in 08-09, I was more in charge of redeployment Ops. And so, I went there and helped out with the mission and just made sure that everything was good to go for redeploying back. But also, it was a little bit behind the scenes of seeing how our unit functioned, how they conducted their missions. It was really eye opening for me to be able to see how our soldiers lived. Not all of us get to live in a trailer. Not all of us get to live with a roof over our head. Most of them had to they live out there in the open and had to boil their water and had to have food brought up to them. It was just a completely different way of living that I never experienced. And so, it was just like, wow, I need to really stop complaining about being cold.

Annette Wittenberger:    04:40    That’s a new perspective.

Scott DeLuzio:    04:42    And what was the unit’s mission that you were in Iraq, you’re a company commander. What was the company’s job over there?

Annette Wittenberger:    04:53    We were a brigade support battalion and I was a headquarters company, so we supported them in what they needed.

Scott DeLuzio:    04:59    Okay.

Scott DeLuzio:    05:03    So, these deployments to Iraq, to Afghanistan, you see the other side of how soldiers lived while they’re deployed, like you said, some of them don’t have roofs over their head. They don’t have hot meals on a regular basis. They’re sleeping out in the open there. They have food delivered to them every once in a while, but I have to imagine it’s probably largely MREs and things along those lines. Was part of that interaction with those soldiers trying to figure out a way of boosting morale or getting them the supplies that they need a part of that type of a mission there?

Annette Wittenberger:    05:58    So, my brigade commander was really big on checking on his soldiers and I was fortunate enough to go on one of those trips with him. So, when we did FOB recons, we’d make sure we checked on them, boost their morale. So, them that there’s people, as well as officers in the back, show them that we actually do care what they’re doing out there and making sure that they have what they needed. So, it was just those little things that helps them know that they are being thought of and not just out there helping them protecting all of us.

Scott DeLuzio:    06:37    Yeah, absolutely. I know from my own experience, being an enlisted infantry soldier, we actually had a pretty decent base in Afghanistan in terms of the living conditions. We did have a roof over our head and we did have running water. So, we were not that far off one of the major bases. It was a more remote location where supplies still were flown in on a regular basis. And it wasn’t a cushy environment, to say the least.  The roofs over our head were plywood huts, basically. They were not much better than that.  But it did help to know when we did get people visiting, to see what are our conditions were like and what we were going through. On occasion we’d have some of the higher up officers that would go out on a mission with us to see what we are up to and what things were going on. It did sort of help knowing that they were there and that they cared enough about what we were doing that we weren’t just wasting our time there either so that was a helpful thing for us.

Scott DeLuzio:    08:06    So, you spent 17 years in the Army, did a couple of deployments and then all of a sudden you were no longer in the Army and that obviously affected you to some extent. What were some of those things that you dealt with coming out of the Army with reintegrating back into civilian life? Other things, PTSD and other anxiety issues that might have been affecting you at that point. What were some of the things that you did to help yourself reintegrate back and overcome some of those hurdles?

Annette Wittenberger:    08:48    Well, it did take a couple years because the Army tried to do a good job on that one-week class of teaching you re-integration, resume writing, all that stuff. But it just didn’t help me because I think they forgot about the mental piece. It’s not all about what are you going to do when you get out? Do you have a job? Do you have clothes? You have this, you have that. It’s not all about that. It’s about the mental piece. And I think they forgot about that. So, for me, after a couple of years of being depressed, I felt like I lost my identity and feeling like a failure because I couldn’t finish 20 years.  I would say that all those things aren’t right or the correct way to feel now.

Annette Wittenberger:    09:35   I learned that it was okay to feel that way. So, after I was speaking to some other former soldiers and they told me that they had a hard time getting out, years before I did; I started to learn that I wasn’t alone. And then that’s how I started writing about it. For me, I was just journaling or writing a WordPress. It was just for me. And then, I actually liked it and I decided, you know what, I’m just going to have to put it out there because I can no longer hide it. It was eating me alive, trying to be the strong one all the time. And then occasionally having these angry outbursts, I was taken out on my kids and I was taking on everybody because they didn’t understand. So, when I launched the website and thought, well crap, they are going to know now what’s going on.

Annette Wittenberger:    10:34    And I had more people reading it and then I started sharing it on more than just Facebook, Instagram, Twitter. It was all over the place. And I know that some of my friends are really quiet about their life, and I even had a couple make comments like, why are you sharing all that stuff? Were you getting help? Are you getting therapy? So, I started to feel like crap, like, well, you know what? Maybe I shouldn’t do this. But then I started having strangers message me through Instagram on my website, things that were like thank you. I look forward to your posts. Thank you for being so vulnerable. And I literally cried because I started to realize there were people out there who needed to hear what I had to say, even when I didn’t think that I had anything to say.

Annette Wittenberger:    11:19    And that’s what my mission was. It’s just if I could help at least one person by sharing what I went through then it was, I guess it’s all worth it at all. The struggles that I went through prepared me for now. So that’s what helped me writing and talking to people. It took me 19 years to be able to say, I’m a suicide attempt to survivor. I did take the pills.  I did hide in my room. I yelled at my kids for no reason. I had triggers like crazy but it’s okay now. It is absolutely okay to not be okay. It’s okay to feel this way but it takes time. And like I say that it wasn’t easy. As long as we can find that person who understands, that’s why I think I connect with Vets that so much and even military spouses because they’re like, oh my God, I feel like that too. I thought I was crazy. You’re absolutely not crazy.

Scott DeLuzio:    12:19    Right?

Annette Wittenberger:    12:20    Well, this life is hard. Very hard.

Scott DeLuzio:    12:26    The thing that you’re talking about in terms of losing your identity when coming out of the military, it’s a common thing and a lot of people feel that because for the longest time I’m a soldier that’s who you are and that’s what you do. You go to work on base or wherever it is and that’s who you are, what you do and everything. And it’s

Scott DeLuzio:    12:59    all of a sudden gone and you’re no longer that person anymore. So, then it’s like, who are you? And you don’t know because you have nothing to kind of just like jump right into. And it’s a hard thing to do. It’s actually something I’ve talked about several times on this podcast with other vets is that reintegration, it almost seems like people assume it’s just going to be easy to reintegrate back into civilian life because at one point we all were civilians before we joined the military and so we know what civilian life is because we lived it for the first 17, 18, 20, some-odd years of their lives, they were civilians and then they spend 5, 10, 15, 20 some odd years not being a civilian.

Scott DeLuzio:    13:59    And then all of a sudden, they forgot how to go back and be that civilian. In the military everything is planned out for you.  Basically, you’re told what you need to do, where you need to be, what time you need to be there, what you need to bring, what clothes you need to be wearing. Everything is planned out for you and the next day after you get out of the military, none of that stuff is there. You have none of that support anymore. (None of that structure I should say.) And you now have to figure it out on your own and figuring out what you want to do for a job and what you want to do, with the rest of your life. For a lot of people, that’s just a hard thing to do because they’re not really used to that anymore. They’ve forgotten how to do that. And in some cases, they’ve just never learned how to do that.  Think about it, like any of us, you think back to when you’re 17, 18 years old,

Scott DeLuzio:    14:59    you didn’t really know what you’re doing with yourself. You know, like none of us really did.  I think that that’s common. You didn’t really know how to make adult decisions even though technically you were an adult

Scott DeLuzio:    15:13    and then for the next, however long you’re in the military, those decisions are basically getting made for you. To a large extent, not obviously everything and then you’re thrown out into the world and you have to figure these things out on your own. So, it’s probably a tremendously difficult thing to have to figure out. What were some of the things that you found helpful? Obviously you’re writing, through your blog, which we will link to in the show notes and things like that but what were some of the things that helped you overcome some of the PTSD and the anxiety stresses that you’re having other than the writing and expressing yourself that was helpful?

Annette Wittenberger:    16:08    That was helpful. But eventually I had to start leaving the house. So, I did find a therapist because we all need one sometimes. And I got over the fact that I am not embarrassed anymore. I will tell you, anybody who wants to know. I talked to somebody weekly and she’s awesome. And talking to other people, I started to network with more people. Once I found out that I like to write, I started to get on other, unfortunately, it’s all about Facebook these days. Sometimes you find Facebook pages with groups of people that are like-hearted and like-minded. So, I started to connect with them and that’s what helped me knowing that I’m going through things but there’s other people that are going through them too. How can I help them?

Annette Wittenberger:    17:03    So, once I started aside, okay, you know what? I’m not afraid to say anything anymore. That’s when I reached out to people. Hey, you know what? This is what I do. If you ever want to talk, I’m here. Because I totally understand and you don’t realize how many people need to hear that because they private message me and say, I just saw your post on Facebook. Oh my gosh, can we talk? So, and it took time. But once you put yourself out there like that a little bit at a time, you start connecting with other people and it’s like you find your own support system. I have my tribe of friends, military spouses, some soldiers, some vets, but there’s also a whole other set too. They’re going through the same thing too. So that’s been really helpful for me for the past year and a half is connecting with people like that who want to help. You know, we all have the same mindset. We all want to help each other out and help more people out because of that stigma. It’s so ugly out there. Even at the high school age. I have a high school son and my daughter’s in college at those levels. We need to talk about it more. And so, it’s taken me time to put myself out there, but that’s what’s helped because people need to hear it.

Scott DeLuzio:    18:22    Yeah, absolutely. I was actually recently listening to another podcast that was talking about the mental health landscape, for lack of better words, of younger people so that the middle school, the high school age people, maybe 13, the teenage years basically, which for everyone who was an awkward time basically like no one had a super smooth time through those teenage years. But nowadays, according to this podcast anyways, it seems like kids are having a lot harder time. The suicide rates are increasing for those age groups and other depression, other mental health issues that they might be having are cropping up during those ages. A lot of it has to do with social media and things along those lines where they’re seeing everybody else’s “A” game and comparing it to their normal life.  Nobody’s social media life is really reflective of their true life. So, it’s a depressing kind of thing to be comparing to

Scott DeLuzio:    19:49    and couple that with lack of sleep because they’re up all night on Instagram or you know, whatever. And that’s just kind of a recipe for disaster. So, if people are listening to this and they’re having issues with younger, teenagers or things like that, try taking their phones away,

Annette Wittenberger:    20:09    I have to monitor them and put a time limit on it.

Scott DeLuzio:    20:12    Yeah.

Annette Wittenberger:    20:12    I think I have one of our friends that we’ve known forever. She takes her son’s phone at night and keeps the upstairs with hers and he can’t get it.

Scott DeLuzio:    20:22    Yeah. That’s the easiest way to do it. Just take it away

Annette Wittenberger:    20:25    after 10 o’clock at night. They don’t need,

Scott DeLuzio:    20:28   They should be sleeping at that point. Exactly. So, on your blog you also talked about how you were at Fort hood, about 10 years ago now during the shooting that took place there.  You actually were somewhat fortunate in that you were not in the area of the shooting but you were supposed to be, is that correct?

Annette Wittenberger:    21:02    That is true. I was about to go over there to what they call the SRP site. I was going to get some stuff updated and at the last minute one of my friends was like, I need a ride home. My car’s in the shop and I hesitated for a minute. I was like, I don’t really want to get this done, but okay, I’ll, I’ll just do it tomorrow. And so, we were leaving out the gate and there was all this traffic and I was getting really irritated and I wanted to get off post. And I saw, I felt bad because then it started coming down the channels of what had happened and we were like, oh my God, there was a shooting and it was Major so-and-so. And it was just the same. Everything was on lockdown. We couldn’t leave. And of course, I had kids in daycare and they couldn’t leave.

Annette Wittenberger:    21:49    And I think my husband was already home and it was just insane. It was everything that had happened and just hearing the aftermath the next day after, it was just, absolutely, it was heartbreaking for everybody. But I just don’t even know. It could have been me and I started to just be thankful that it wasn’t. But then again, it was like, well, this is not about me anymore. This is about everybody that we just lost. And it was just absolutely insane. And sometimes I do block that part out until it’s a reminder on Facebook, good old Facebook. And then I’m like, Oh my God. And it brings back all the memories back again. And then we’ll just sit and just say a little prayer for all of them. And it’s just insane. It’s unbelievable still.

Scott DeLuzio:    22:40    Yeah, that’s certainly obviously a major incident that took place, obviously affecting many, many lives. Not just the people who were injured and killed that day, but the other people who knew some of those people, friends and colleagues and things like that, who were affected. Even just being there and being that close to where all that stuff was happening could affect people too. You can certainly go down the path of the “what if” path, what if I didn’t give that friend a ride, what if I decided to go into that appointment or whatever. I was reading a book recently and they said that what ifs can be very heavy. They can weigh very heavily on you and it doesn’t really do you any good to

Scott DeLuzio:    23:47    “What if?” things like that because it didn’t happen; you weren’t there. There’s nothing different you could have done from your situation. You can what if it all you want, but it’s not going to change anything. And so, it’s really a lesson I think a lot of us need to learn. And partially why I wanted to bring this up is because we all look back on things that we’ve done. I know I do. Things that have happened and play that what if game like. What if I had done this; where would I be? Would I have made the wrong decision and ended up getting in trouble or something like that? Or would I have killed somebody and that didn’t need to be killed because I assumed something that was wrong or whatever. And people especially going through a traumatic incident like that tend to play that what if game and it doesn’t help. I’ve been there quite a bit with different what if scenarios through many things that took place during my deployment. I’ve realized over the years that I can’t keep doing that to myself, although I sometimes still tend to fall back into that.

Annette Wittenberger:    25:24    Okay.

Scott DeLuzio:    25:24    And I don’t really know what the solution is to that, like how to not continue to what if it, but it really is not a helpful thing. I don’t know if you have anything to add about that or anything that maybe you’ve gone through to kind of help yourself get over that.

Annette Wittenberger:    25:46   I was in a car accident last year, a really, really bad one with my daughter. And a lot of nurses and doctors, they don’t know how we survived it. And I went through a lot of what ifs like, what if you died, what would have happened? What if I would’ve brought my dog with me? You know, she could have been killed, all these things and my husband had to keep reminding me but you’re here, you’re alive and you’ll be grateful. And so, I try to do that now when I go into those, what if moments and say, you know what, thank you for letting me use you. Just thank you for giving me a reason or purpose and put me on a different path and what if I was still in the Army at that time, I would’ve probably had to be medically boarded because I’m still in recovery and it’s just all these little things I started thinking about.

Annette Wittenberger:    26:42    It’s like, okay, stop it’s okay. It was meant to be and I used to hate the saying if it was meant to be or everything happens for a reason but you know what? It’s true. There was a reason for all of this and so I tried to just be thankful. It’s hard though because I think we’re always going to have those moments. Those, what if moments, but as long as we just try to sit back and go, okay, you know what, be thankful for whatever. And I think that’s what’s helped me.

Scott DeLuzio:    27:16    The gratitude is certainly something to be able to help you through that. Being thankful that you’re obviously still alive and that your daughter is still alive and yes maybe there were some serious injuries in an accident but you’re here and you’re able to continue you still have your wits about you, you’re still able to function. Maybe it required some recovery time, but you’re still here. You’re still able to do things and the family that knows and loves you still has you here and that’s, I think certainly a thing to be grateful for.  I think all of us, myself included, could probably go back and look at all of these, what if moments and find something to be grateful for that came out of it, even though some of it may be completely terrible. Well, you can probably follow along a path that you got put on to from whatever that traumatic experience was and be grateful that you’re in a certain position now or have met a certain person or have done a certain thing because of that experience and be grateful for that you maybe wouldn’t have otherwise had.

Annette Wittenberger:    28:53    It’s hard. It’s going to be hard because every situation’s different. But yeah, you’re absolutely right.

Scott DeLuzio:    28:59     I can’t oversimplify the path that you might be able to take to get to gratitude but I think in many cases you can probably figure out something to be grateful for even if it’s super small, even if it doesn’t outweigh whatever the negative was that came from that thing. Still finding that small thing to be grateful for helps a little bit. So, actually time kind of flies on when we start talking here, but looks like we’re coming up on time here but I have one last question that I like to ask people on this show. And there’s no right or wrong way to answer the question. You can answer it with a joke, you can answer it seriously or whatever. But is there anything that you wish someone would have told you, any kind of advice someone might’ve given you before you joined the military?

Annette Wittenberger:    30:03    Oh gosh, that’s a hard one. Because I was stubborn and I did it just because I think

Annette Wittenberger:    30:15    I wish somebody probably would have told me that your life’s probably going to change a lot. I was a very shy person. I was a pain in the ass to my mom, but I kept quiet and I tried to please everybody. Going through the military, I had to learn to get thick skin, to stand up for myself and that not everybody is as nice as you are sometimes. You’re going to get yelled at. And so, I think somebody should have said, your life’s about to change. And I would’ve said, okay, at 21 years old, but it’s something that I did and not all necessarily bad. I learned a lot. It made me who I am. So

Scott DeLuzio:    31:08    That’s true. I don’t think anybody goes into the military and comes out the same person. It definitely changes you. Like you said, it’s not always a bad change there. There are sometimes good changes that come out of this. There are sometimes bad changes that between adjusting to two different things that you’re going through, whatever. But you definitely will change. And I think you have to before going into the military, you have to be open and receptive to those potential changes that you might be going through. So great advice. Thank you for sharing that and sharing all of your background and things like that and what you’ve gone through and how you’ve overcome some of, some of the, uh, the hurdles that you’ve, you’ve had to go over, um, after getting out of the military. Um, I think that it’s definitely going to be helpful for other people who might be going through something similar. So, thank you for sharing that.  Would you be able to share a few places that people can find more information about your website or things like that?

Annette Wittenberger:    32:26    Sure. Yes. The website is called awildridecalledlife.com and same thing for Instagram and Facebook.

Scott DeLuzio:    32:37    Yeah. And so, we will have links to of those in the show notes and so people can find you there. Well thank you for being on the show. All right,

Scott DeLuzio:    32:54    Thanks for listening to the Drive On Podcasts. If you want to check out more episodes or learn more about the show, you can visit our website, DriveOnPodcast.com we’re on Facebook, Twitter, and Instagram at DriveOnPodcasts.

]]> 00:33:15 <![CDATA[Helping Veterans With Dr. Sherry Walling]]> Tue, 07 Jan 2020 01:00:00 +0000 Scott DeLuzio https://drive-on-podcast.castos.com/podcasts/2296/episodes/helping-veterans-with-dr-sherry-walling Dr. Sherry Walling is a clinical psychologist, speaker, yoga teacher, podcaster, entrepreneur, and best-selling author.

We touched on a wide range of subjects. Veteran suicide, the VA, when the right time is to seek help, relational and moral injuries, and a whole lot more.

You don’t want to miss this episode.

Links & Resources

Transcript

Scott DeLuzio:    00:03    Hi everybody, this is the Drive On Podcast where we talk about issues affecting veterans after they get out of the military. I’m your host, Scott DeLuzio. And now let’s get on with the show.

Scott DeLuzio:    00:14    Hey everyone, before we get started, I wanted to give you a quick heads up that in this episode, at some point, we’re going to talk about the topic of suicide. I wanted to let you know beforehand in case that’s not something that you want to listen to. I know we’ve talked about it before on this show and I dropped the ball about giving a disclaimer about it. So, I’m sorry about that. I do start off that segment in this episode with a question about veteran suicide. And that segment from that point, goes for approximately 12 minutes. So, if you’re at a place that you don’t really want to hear that type of thing for one reason or another, go ahead and just fast forward through that 12-minute segment. Once you get through that, you should be in the clear. The rest of the episode before that and after is really good.

Scott DeLuzio:    01:00    And so, I don’t want to discourage people necessarily from listening to it; although, if you just don’t want to take the risk and you don’t want to listen to it, that’s fine too. Stop it here and there’ll be no hard feelings about that. With that said, if you’re somebody who’s maybe struggling with thoughts of suicide or other issues, we do have a link on our website now with a bunch of resources that might help. At the top of the website driveonpodcast.com there’s a link for veteran resources. If you’re on a mobile device, the link might look like three little lines that are next to the logo that will open up a menu where you should be able to find the veteran resources there. There are phone numbers you can call and websites that you can go check out to hopefully get the help that you’re looking for, if you should need it.

Scott DeLuzio:    01:48    So with that, we’ll get on with the show. Hey everyone. Today my guest is Dr. Sherry Walling. Dr. Walling is a clinical psychologist who supports people with high intensity jobs. She’s a host of the Zen Founder podcast and also the bestselling author of the book, The Entrepreneur’s Guide to Keeping Your Shit Together. Dr. Walling, I might refer to you as Doc at some point in this episode. I hope that’s okay with you.

Sherry Walling: Yes and Sherry is also fine too, whatever you choose.

Scott DeLuzio:  Okay. Welcome to the show. And why don’t you tell us a little bit about yourself and what you do?

Sherry Walling:    02:26    I have a really incredible, some of the most intense high-performing people around us and I help people...

]]> full 32 false Dr. Sherry Walling is a clinical psychologist, speaker, yoga teacher, podcaster, entrepreneur, and best-selling author.

We touched on a wide range of subjects. Veteran suicide, the VA, when the right time is to seek help, relational and moral injuries, and a whole lot more.

You don’t want to miss this episode.

Links & Resources

Transcript

Scott DeLuzio:    00:03    Hi everybody, this is the Drive On Podcast where we talk about issues affecting veterans after they get out of the military. I’m your host, Scott DeLuzio. And now let’s get on with the show.

Scott DeLuzio:    00:14    Hey everyone, before we get started, I wanted to give you a quick heads up that in this episode, at some point, we’re going to talk about the topic of suicide. I wanted to let you know beforehand in case that’s not something that you want to listen to. I know we’ve talked about it before on this show and I dropped the ball about giving a disclaimer about it. So, I’m sorry about that. I do start off that segment in this episode with a question about veteran suicide. And that segment from that point, goes for approximately 12 minutes. So, if you’re at a place that you don’t really want to hear that type of thing for one reason or another, go ahead and just fast forward through that 12-minute segment. Once you get through that, you should be in the clear. The rest of the episode before that and after is really good.

Scott DeLuzio:    01:00    And so, I don’t want to discourage people necessarily from listening to it; although, if you just don’t want to take the risk and you don’t want to listen to it, that’s fine too. Stop it here and there’ll be no hard feelings about that. With that said, if you’re somebody who’s maybe struggling with thoughts of suicide or other issues, we do have a link on our website now with a bunch of resources that might help. At the top of the website driveonpodcast.com there’s a link for veteran resources. If you’re on a mobile device, the link might look like three little lines that are next to the logo that will open up a menu where you should be able to find the veteran resources there. There are phone numbers you can call and websites that you can go check out to hopefully get the help that you’re looking for, if you should need it.

Scott DeLuzio:    01:48    So with that, we’ll get on with the show. Hey everyone. Today my guest is Dr. Sherry Walling. Dr. Walling is a clinical psychologist who supports people with high intensity jobs. She’s a host of the Zen Founder podcast and also the bestselling author of the book, The Entrepreneur’s Guide to Keeping Your Shit Together. Dr. Walling, I might refer to you as Doc at some point in this episode. I hope that’s okay with you.

Sherry Walling: Yes and Sherry is also fine too, whatever you choose.

Scott DeLuzio:  Okay. Welcome to the show. And why don’t you tell us a little bit about yourself and what you do?

Sherry Walling:    02:26    I have a really incredible, some of the most intense high-performing people around us and I help people who are really high performing and have conversations about mental health. So, sometimes it’s having a conversation with me about mental health. Sometimes it’s thinking about how to promote mental health within their companies or within their spheres of influence. So, I’m increasingly becoming just an ambassador for mental health conversations in the places where it’s hardest to have them. So, I’m really excited to be on the podcast with you. I’ve spent many years working in the VA and working as a psychologist for people who had recently returned from overseas deployment. And so, it’s the veteran and in military populations where I learned how to serve high intensity people because that’s who was coming in my office.

Scott DeLuzio:    03:22    Right. And that certainly is one of the more-high intensity type of occupations that you could have, too. So, that’s one of the reasons why I wanted to have you on the show too is because of your background working with combat vets. I think you’re probably very familiar with the difficulties that the veterans are having after returning from deployment and even after getting out of the military, some of that readjustment period that they might be going through. Do you mind sharing, I know you said you worked at the VA but how you worked with them in terms of what capacity were you working with them? What types of things were you doing at the VA when you were working with them?

Sherry Walling:    04:05    I did my several years of training and then my postdoctoral fellowship at different VAs around the country. I spent time at the West Los Angeles VA where I rotated through a couple of different divisions within the VA. One is the GREC, the geriatric research and education center?  I actually got to work with folks who were deployed during World War II, during Korea, so people who really hold a lot of stories and deep wisdom and insight. So, it was really interesting to work there. And then I worked in outpatient psychology also at the West LA VA. The next year I went to the East LA PTSD clinic, which is a specialized clinic for veterans who’ve been diagnosed with PTSD. And it’s located in East Los Angeles, which in and of itself is a community which works with and has carried a lot of trauma stories.

Sherry Walling:    05:07    So, lots of people come to that community from around the world where they’ve had trauma. Often, in the context of where they’re from, whether it’s Guatemala or Honduras or places around the world. And then have participated in the military and then are coming back to a community that also has a lot of trauma happening. So, I actually really loved working there. Just a really interesting community. From there I went to Yale for a year and then I went to the Boston VA, which houses the national center for PTSD, which I don’t know if your listeners are familiar with that entity, but in the early 80s was a partnership set up between the VA and major research universities. And it actually was born specifically from a congressional mandate to try to better understand the reactions that we were seeing in veterans who were returning from Vietnam. And so, the national centers for PTSD, there are seven or eight that are spread around the country. But the Boston VA is a partnership between the VA and Boston University School of Medicine. And it is one of the preeminent research institutions in the world to really try to understand what’s going on with trauma and how do we help people who are coming back from combat readjust well.

Scott DeLuzio:    06:33    The VA gets a bad rap sometimes with the veterans and I’m not going to go down that rabbit hole.

Sherry Walling:    06:44    I get it though. I mean, it’s like an exercise in bureaucracy and futility. Like I totally get it. And if you are a veteran who’s like, “Oh my God, I’m so over the VA,” like I understand, I also will tell you that there are some really amazing physicians and psychologists and staff at the VA who really want to make life better. And we’re really sorry that it’s so fucking hard to get to us.

Scott DeLuzio:    07:08    Yeah. And it is one of those things where a lot of people are turned off from it but hearing stories about all these different centers for research and other things that are going on there it’s sort of encouraging to know that there’s things that are being done that veterans can look forward to and hopefully get that help that they need through the VA. Through this podcast and just through talking to other veterans that I know, I know that a lot of us have mental health issues but the military still has a “suck it up and be a man” kind of attitude where

Scott DeLuzio:    07:57    they tried to bury some of those mental health issues, to some extent. Although it certainly has gotten better over the years, I’m sure 20, 30 years ago it was much worse than it is now. But that attitude sometimes prevents people from seeking out the help that they need.  I hate that there is that attitude amongst people.  I’d love to completely erase it but I don’t think I can do that necessarily.

Sherry Walling:  You and me both, man.

Scott DeLuzio:  I don’t think one is going to do that but what would you say is something that we can do to encourage other people, veterans especially with the context of this show but really anyone in general to go and get the help that they need. What is, with the people that you’ve seen was there some sort of trigger or something that prompted them to start to get help? Realize there’s a problem, “I need to come and talk to somebody” or what’s the best way that we can, as loved ones or caretakers or whatever be able to help push them in that direction.

Sherry Walling:    09:06    Yeah. I mean, unfortunately, mostly people get help too late.  I would say, especially when I was working within the VA, the people that ended up coming through my door ended up there because they had hit their wives or they had lost a job or they’d crossed some line that was so far from who they were and who they wanted to be that they were basically like, what the fuck I need to do something different. So, I really wish we could get people in the room before those kinds of things happen because they become really difficult to repair. Right? Not only are you trying to repair what’s injured within your mind and your heart but now you’re trying to repair broken relationships, a broken career, like the external parts of your life that have been really jacked up.

Sherry Walling:    10:01    I think what’s really hard about the veteran’s experiences that when you’re in combat or even if you’re just doing military service, there’s a way of being normal that requires you to respond to extraordinarily dangerous events or situations. And so, you learn to adapt to that. And you learn to live in, and in some situations, in life threat pretty consistently and that becomes normal to you, but then when you come back, that level of heightened arousal, that level of care, that level of hypervigilance, doesn’t fit in the situation in which you find yourself like at your kid’s ballet recital. So, I think that’s why I think it’s so tricky with helping veterans get into care because the thing which now is creating a mental health crisis for you is the thing that you were asked to do. And if you did it well, you’re almost inevitably going to experience some kind of significant mental health challenge in your reintegration to civilian life. And I wish we just were better about telling the truth about that. I think that would help with the, “you’ve done this kind of service. Part of returning is that you’re going to need a mental health team to help prevent you from totally messing your life up.”

Scott DeLuzio:    11:33    Yeah.  I think that’s unfortunately you’re right. I think people are definitely coming in to the mental health world to get help to see a professional, someone like yourself, too late, after something has happened that you can’t necessarily take back; maybe domestic violence or something like that. You can’t take those things back once they’ve happened and they damage relationships and everything like that. And in an otherwise good relationship that could have been salvage had things been caught earlier. Along those lines, what are some of the signs that maybe somebody might need to go talk to somebody about their mental health, maybe about some traumas that they experienced while serving overseas or just in their military service in general? Either them looking in at themselves and saying, geez, I’m doing these things or I’m acting this way or maybe the other way around where a loved one is seeing them acting differently or whatever. What are some of those signs that may be somebody might see? And I know it’s probably different for everybody.

Sherry Walling:    12:47    Well actually, I think across the board like military or not, once you start to observe in yourself that you are not acting or being the kind of person that you want to be, I think that’s a red flag. So specifically, I think that often looks a lot like irritability, having a really short fuse with people that you love. This comes out all the time with kids, for example. When you hear yourself responding in sort of a biting, cynical, sarcastic way to get your three-year old’s 85th question, those are times where it’s just human to call uncle and say I need some help. Other early signs that there may be trouble brewing is really significant sleep disruption where you’re waking up in the middle of the night or it takes you hours to fall asleep.

Sherry Walling:    13:44    Big significant changes in your appetite. You’re eating a lot or you stop eating, you have no appetite. Those are early warning signs that something may not be well. I think what often happens is we feel irritable and so we turn to a little splash of scotch at night to try to calm down our inner world or we have trouble sleeping, so, we smoke a joint to try to like settle ourselves. And those coping mechanisms when they exist daily, over time can create a whole other host of problems. So again, the minute that you’re thinking, “I don’t really feel like myself” is probably a good time to get a checkup.

Scott DeLuzio:    14:41    I liked that you used the word checkup because typically when I hear the word checkup, I think of just routine, your annual doctor’s visit, you go to check make sure, you know, but the hearts beat in while the lungs are breathing well and everything’s working the way that it’s supposed to. And your mind is really no different in terms of needing a checkup. Probably from time to time to just make sure things are still ticking in the right way that they’re supposed to be. A lot of times people don’t think of it that way that you see someone with a broken arm and obviously they’re going to go to the doctor because the doctor needs to set the arm and everything like that but sometimes your mind needs that checkup and needs that kind of care as well.

Sherry Walling:    15:25    I will say, we as mental health professionals, have not done a good job about talking about preventative mental health care, just like you would get your immunizations, you go get your cholesterol tested every year, there is a analogous way of thinking about mental health, that is just not the primary strategy for mental health within the U S. Usually where we’re way more crisis reaction and much less prevention. I think if we could do more prevention, if we could go earlier, talk more, even if you’re like, “I don’t really think I have a problem but I feel like maybe there’s a potential that I could someday,” that’s the best time to go to therapy. We can do so much with that.

Scott DeLuzio:    16:17     I think part of it is just that stigma of feeling like I’m not able to handle my own problems. I’m not able to just suck it up and deal with it. That’s why I need to go talk to somebody and get this help. And it seems probably to some people, like it’s a crutch that they don’t really want to admit that they need at the end of the day.  I’m not trying to dissuade anyone from going to get help if they need it by saying that.  I feel like that’s the stigma that is surrounding mental health and going to get that kind of help. But if more people did it and just went to get that kind of checkup, it would really normalize it and make it seem more accessible to people. You know what I mean?

Sherry Walling:    17:16     I have somebody that cuts my hair. I have an accountant that helps me with my taxes. I don’t change the oil in my car.  I have all of these professionals that know a lot about something that I don’t know about, that I utilize on a weekly basis.  I have an athletic trainer that helps me pursue my athletic goals.  I have a physician that I go and see. I have a psychologist because I operate at a pretty elite level and I deal with a lot of psychological crap because of the work that I do. And that means that it’s my responsibility to make sure that my psychological slate is clean and I’m as healthy as I can be. And that’s no different for anybody who’s returning from combat, which is inherently part of what it means to have served your country in that way, is that you’ve been on the edge, you’ve been at an elite level. And to sort of maintain the systems at that level requires usually some very specialized experts.

Scott DeLuzio:    18:26     Basically what you’re trying to say here is that if you were to not go and take care of your own mental health by talking to somebody about your own mental health, you wouldn’t necessarily be able to provide the best care possible to the people who are relying on you for your advice and your expertise. Let’s change that around going back to the veterans who are coming back from overseas. You’re operating at this high level and you need to have a clear head in order to continue to operate at that high level of intensity. And if your head is not as clear as it once was or it could be, then you’re not going to operate at that high level of intensity.   Go talk to somebody

Sherry Walling:    19:14    Honestly, like I work with CEOs, I work with really elite people who have come to believe that having a sounding board, a therapist, a coach, whatever you want to call it, is part of pursuing high level of performance and health.

Scott DeLuzio:    19:33    I’m changing gears a little bit here.  I know veteran’s suicide is an issue. It’s one of the reasons why I started the podcast. That is, in some ways it seems like it’s just getting out of control, it’s gotten to the point where whatever the numbers are, 22 people a day we’re losing more people at home than we are in actual combat overseas. And that to me is just not acceptable. I know on a personal level, your family has experienced the effects of suicide and it’s a deeply personal issue.  I’m truly sorry that your family has experienced that as I am for any family who has experienced that.

Scott DeLuzio:    20:33    I know there’s no time machine and there’s no way that you can go back in time and change things, but oftentimes, hindsight is 2020 and you see some of the writing that was on the wall, perhaps.  I don’t know if that’s the case in your situation but are there things that people could do? This is maybe a weird question.

Sherry Walling: It’s a hard question to ask.

Scott DeLuzio: Are there things that family members could do to help their loved ones who might be on that edge, maybe they’ve expressed that they want to hurt themselves or things like that. What are those things that families and loved ones, friends, anybody really could do to help those people?

Sherry Walling:    21:29   So, I had to talk about this with a lot of nuance. My brother, Dave, took his life a little more than six months ago. So, it’s still fairly new and in my family’s story and he was 33 years old and someone that I loved very, very much and fought for. He had had a longstanding addiction to alcohol and two years before he died, my husband and I decided to take some drastic measures and we moved him from Montana to Minnesota where we live so that he could get some really high-quality care for his addiction. So, I think I will say that I’m someone who has taken lots of steps to be really involved because I knew that this could be a possibility for him.

Sherry Walling:    22:30    And the kinds of things that I think were important to do were to talk very directly about it and to say, over and over this song of, “I’m worried about you and love you. You don’t seem, well, what do you need? How can I help?” Or even to go so far as saying, I’m bringing you home with me and you’re going to treatment and that’s what’s going to happen, you know, fight me if you want. But I’m pretty powerful and convincing. Not everybody has the ability to do that or the resources or whatever. But I think the things that I’m glad that we did were to really make space for him to be in our lives even when he wasn’t doing well. I did have some boundaries around that. Like when he was drinking, he wasn’t invited into our home because I have young children but I would still go meet him at a coffee shop or whatever.

Sherry Walling:    23:31    When he was doing well, he was part of our family. So, like anyone, people who are in extreme pain, they want to have a place of belonging. I think it helps to tell people that you’re worried about them. I think it helps to have open conversations like, I don’t want you to die. You know, I said to my brother many times but switching gears as the family member of someone who has lost someone in this way, if there are any of you listening, it’s a really, really lonely club and it’s a really painful kind of loss. And I think that there were 10,000 things that contributed to this experience for my brother. You know, it wasn’t one thing. It was lots and lots of things amassed over the course of his life. And maybe I had the power to change the story for like 1000 of the 10,000 things. But, ultimately, we lost him and I have to come to terms with even though I have the PhD and even though I’m supposed to do this professionally, I have to come to terms with the limits around what’s possible for me to do. So, I think that’s a hard message and I say it with a lot of nuance because it’s like, yes, do all of these things be present, have the conversation, show up, love them and then also it’s okay that you can’t fix it.

Scott DeLuzio:    25:11    I think that last part is important to understand, as well, especially for the people who may have been in your shoes where they lost a loved one under similar circumstances to not beat themselves up and blame themselves or anything like that. Though I could have done this, I could have done better had I just done that, this wouldn’t have happened type of thing. It’s not your fault. It’s clear, nobody wants that to happen to a loved one and we all do our best to try to prevent it. It’s okay to not blame yourself and beat yourself up over things like that. I know it’s going to hurt either way but don’t add that extra hurt onto it.

Sherry Walling:    26:15    Sometimes I think about having a conversation with my brother and one of the ways I just think about it is to say sometimes I even say it out loud to him, “I would have gone lots and lots of places with you but you went the one place I can’t go with you, I can’t follow you and I can’t accompany you down this path.  I think that helps me sort of let go in a sense that I’m not going to go so far as to say, “Oh, it’s complicated. Did he choose it? Was he ill?”  Yes, all of those things. But also, the outcome was such that he took a route that I just couldn’t go with him. And so, I imagined myself waving at him while he walks down a hiking trail or something. And I’m like, I can’t go Dave.

Scott DeLuzio:    27:15    Or one of those old movies where he’s about to board the train and head off across the country or something like that. It’s hard. I lost my brother. He was in Afghanistan, he was killed in combat.  I often have similar thoughts where I feel like he’s just in China or something. He’s just someplace else where I can’t go for some reason. I just can’t get there. Obviously, I know that’s not true.

Sherry Walling:    27:47     I don’t know what happens in this next adventure.

Scott DeLuzio:    27:52    No, that’s true. He’s not walking around the streets of Shanghai or something like that. He’s someplace else. And yes, there may be somewhere else that we all meet up and have a beer or something but that would be nice. Who knows where we’ll all end up at that point.

Sherry Walling:    28:22    But, but you kind of live with the shadow of it.

Scott DeLuzio:    28:26    Yeah. A little bit. And it’s not, it’s an uneasy thing to carry. This is almost 10 years now. It’s about nine and a half years since he was killed. And it’s still hard even this long afterwards to think about it and I still think, “gee, maybe there’ll be one day that we’ll meet up again or something like that.  And I know it’s delusional to think that like, it’s not reality but every now and again you might have a dream where that happens and it’s a nice feeling to have every now and again to that there is that possibility but it’s not a true possibility. It’s just a fleeting moment that crosses your mind.

Sherry Walling:    29:12    I think at least for my brother, he was aware of feeling like a burden to me and to my parents.  I think he felt hopeless for his own recovery and then also just sort of like sad and ashamed that it was so hard for him to get better. And I wish I could have conveyed to him somehow, yeah, I was tired being by his side through years and years of addiction was no treat for me, but I would happily go another 10 years.  I wasn’t that tired and I think the issue of being a burden or feeling ashamed about your struggles is part of that stigma that really does drive suicidal behavior because people feel so hopeless and they isolate themselves in that hopelessness. And I so wish that he just could’ve known it wasn’t a walk in the park but there was so much more to do and I had more energy to go with you like to accompany him

Scott DeLuzio:    30:39    and the things that are worthwhile in life are not always the easiest things to do, you know?  And so, that was certainly something that was worthwhile. It wasn’t an easy thing for you to do but you were certainly willing to do that. And there’s a quote that has passed her on social media that is something along the lines. I’ll probably butcher it, but it was something along the lines of, “I’d rather spend an hour or two hours or 10 hours talking to you about whatever the issues are that you’re going through, then listen to your eulogy for 15 minutes.  I would much rather sit down and have those conversations with people to keep them from doing something like that, then

Sherry Walling:    31:24    well, then spend the next 40 years of my life missing him.

Scott DeLuzio:    31:28    or that too. Yeah, that’s another way to put it. And I think he probably even better way to put it. So, switching gears a little bit, I know that everyone’s going to experience different things related to combat and the traumas that they experienced and some of these events that they experience tend to affect people much differently than they would affect somebody else. Somebody who maybe experience something that is seemingly insignificant to one person, to another person, it may be a seriously traumatic event to them and it affects them on multiple levels, years down the road even. So, it might seem like a nonevent to one person but it can haunt somebody else.  I don’t know if I’m really clear on that but let me give you an example of what I’m talking about.

Sherry Walling:  It is subjective.

Scott DeLuzio:    32:35    For example, when I was in Afghanistan, one of our jobs was to provide security at the border between Afghanistan and Pakistan so that the cargo trucks that carry the military supplies could pass through freely. And one day at the checkpoint that we’re at, I was standing maybe 75 yards or so away from a truck that was slowly passing through the checkpoint and a little kid pops up over the top of a truck and this kid couldn’t have been more than 10, maybe 12 years old. He pointed what looked like to me like a rifle at some of our guys who are standing below the truck. They were at the point where unless they were looking up, they wouldn’t have seen the kid. Where I was standing, I had a clear shot at the kid and so I got ready to shoot him before he was able to shoot any of our guys.

Scott DeLuzio:    33:24    And just as I was about to pull the trigger, I noticed that something just didn’t seem right about the rifle that he was holding. And when I looked closer at the rifle through my scope, on my rifle, I noticed that it was just a piece of wood. And if you’ve ever seen an AK 47, a lot of it is wood. It was cut out to the shape of an AK 47 but it was just a piece of wood and I was like one trigger pull away from killing this kid. And so, I didn’t shoot, that would not have been the right thing to do at that point, knowing what I knew but that type of thing, it turned out to be a non-event that the kid is, as far as I know, he’s still alive, unless something else has happened,

Sherry Walling:  Well, if he’s walking out with that piece of wood, he’s not setting himself up for a long life.

Scott DeLuzio:  No, he’s not. But it’s something that I still think about it and this is almost 10 years ago now, that this happened and I still, you know, but I didn’t, nobody died. No, there’s no blood and Gore or body parts anywhere. It was literally nothing more than me raising a rifle and then realizing that I didn’t need to have it raised and putting it down. And it’s still something that I carry with me. I’m sure other people have other similar experiences where when they think back to it, they think, well, this is silly to even be worried about or to even still be thinking about because it was nothing, nobody died, nobody got hurt. Some people probably didn’t even know that it happened, why is it that certain things affect some people and when they seem like they’re kind of non-events almost.

Sherry Walling:  I love that you’re raising this question and I think it’s really relevant for lots of folks because we think whether from inside the military or from outside like we think that it’s the

Sherry Walling:    35:38    gruesome bloody battles that are going to mess with us. And in fact, it’s not, it’s not usually that those are not usually the things that drive PTSD. Um, death of other combatants is sort of what we sign up for and it’s what we expect. And you know, not to be callous about it, but like, it’s war. That’s what you think is going to happen. The things that drive PTSD are more nuanced. They tend to be relational injuries or moral injuries. And what I mean by that is one of the most significant drivers of PTSD are things like military sexual trauma, where there’s been this violation that you’ve experienced at the hands of someone that you trusted who’s on your side. That’s a really, really high trauma high PTSD event. Things like what you’re describing is, you in that moment realizing how close you were to killing a child.

Sherry Walling:    36:45    And I might explore that as like the possibility of a moral injury of you doing a thing that yes, it made sense with the protocols and with the risk assessment that you did in your prefrontal cortex as a service member. But like in your soul, in the heart of your brain, you realizing this is not an action that I ever imagined that I would have to take. And it’s that moment of preparation where you were ready, even though you didn’t have to take it, you sort of felt in yourself that shift to what almost happened and it’s a very nuanced moment, right? It’s a nuanced experience. But I think for many service people it represents this sort of moral injury, this pain that happened because you almost had to do the thing that you never thought you would have to do.

Sherry Walling:    37:44    We imagine our combatants, like our enemies to be grownups, not children, right? And to be holding real weapons, not wooden weapons. And so, you almost made a mistake that could have cost a kid his life even though you know, again, all signs sort of pointed to the action that you took or the threat that you assessed. So, when those experiences are relational in some way, like we have a leader that orders us to do something that’s either unwise or stupid or immoral, that’s a highly traumatic event. When we experience the death of non-combatant women and children, those tend to be really high events, highly traumatic events. So, it is subjective and there is nuance in it and what we experience is traumatic. But often as a psychologist, I’m listening for relational or moral disruptions. Those tend to be the kinds of things that we don’t resolve well on our own. The math doesn’t really work out for us internally.

Scott DeLuzio:    38:53    So, I guess that’s maybe the way we are thinking about it is that we tend to think that when there are those traumatic, bloody, gory situations that those are the things that we should maybe more traumatized by but the way you’re describing it is that some of these moral conflicts that you might have, it’s OK to feel how you’re feeling about those types of things. Probably even natural to feel, I would guess to feel that way about some of those moral or relational conflicts that are taking place. I think the reason why I brought that up was because I think in a way it is sort of a loaded question because I had an idea of what the answer might be. I didn’t know specifically what you would answer but I want to make sure that people know that they don’t have to hide their emotions or their feelings about these types of events. Just because someone else might’ve gone through something different that might be considered worse, in terms of someone dying or

Sherry Walling:    40:16    someone could get an arm amputated and not have PTSD and someone can have an experience like you had where frankly, nobody got hurt but walk away with really significant trauma. And we sort of want to write a scale to say this is the worst thing and this person definitely has long-term difficulties because of this experience. But these things aren’t a big deal. And the reality is that it’s not possible. There are all kinds of mystery around what we react to and why.

Scott DeLuzio:    40:50    I think it’s sort of like, a lot of times people will think of it like one to 10 pain scale that you might have at the doctor. Where are you on this scale of pain?  I feel like people who had the arm amputation or other traumatic injuries, on a mental scale, they’d be all the way at the 10 and then someone who had an experienced, like the one that I described would probably be down at a one. But that’s not really how that all that works. That’s not true at all. And so, we kind of have to throw that out the window and leave that physical pain and not try to apply that to mental pain.

Scott DeLuzio:    41:35    I know a lot of times people will go, just kind of switching gears once again, people will go and talk to somebody, you know, therapist or somebody that they’re talking to for their mental health and they’re just not jiving. They’re just not clicking with that person. It’s just not the right fit. That may or may not have happened in your case with the patients that you see

Sherry Walling:  All my patients love me.

Scott DeLuzio:  but I’m sure they do. It’s actually not something that I don’t believe at all. How long should someone give this interaction with somebody before moving on to somebody else and I say move on to somebody else instead of just throwing in the towel and giving up because that’s not what we want people to do either.

Sherry Walling:    42:27    The bottom line, you need somebody that you trust and who seems to get you. And honestly, I would like to say you want to sit with a mental health professional who in another world you’d like to have coffee or a beer with, that’s probably not going to happen in this relationship. But like they’re just the kind of human that you get a good vibe from to use highly scientific language. It’s also another non-scientific analogy. It’s kind of like dating. Like sometimes you just sit down with someone and in the first 10 minutes you’re like, “yeah, you’re not really my person.” And then another time you sit down and you have 10 minutes of conversation with someone, you’re like, “yeah, I get you. I like you. I trust you.

Sherry Walling:    43:13    I want to tell you my stories.” Yeah. If it’s really bad, one session will do; if it’s really bad, a 15-minute phone screen, will do.  I think it’s okay to trust your instinct, If you’re reaching like mental health professional three or four and you think, “Oh, all these people are not competent” it’s probably worth asking if maybe it’s you. In that case, I might pick the most reasonable one and hang in there for like three sessions and see if you can settle in. Because the bottom line is it’s super hard to do therapy. It’s hard to begin therapy. It feels very awkward and it’s okay if it’s not the easiest thing to begin.  Again, so I guess to answer your question, bottom line, if it’s really bad, one session, it’s okay to try somebody else. If you’ve tried three or four people, pick the most reasonable person and go back for three sessions and give it a go.

Scott DeLuzio:    44:20    I like it. I like that advice. So, it looks like we’re actually a little bit over on time here but I’d like to give you the opportunity to let people know where people can find out more about your podcasts and how to get in touch with you and if you are the right type of person for them to talk to, how they can schedule a consultation. You’re in Minnesota, right?

Sherry Walling: Yeah, but I’m licensed in California.  I do work with people all over the world depending on what it is they need.

Scott DeLuzio: And then I imagine you do remote consultations over the internet and that would be a long commute for some of the people all over the world. So, how can people find out about your podcast and how to get in touch with you for the things that you do?

Sherry Walling:  I live online in two places @sherrywalling.com.

Sherry Walling:    45:25    And then also @zenfounder.com. So, my podcast is named Zen Founder and we really focused on all aspects of mental health, relational health, sanity for entrepreneurs and business owners.  I will say that a lot of people listen to the podcast who aren’t running their own business. So, if that’s not you, still feel free to check it out.  I do quite a lot of speaking about

Sherry Walling:    45:53    mental health. I’m in organizations and companies around the world. So, if that’s something that you’re looking for, always happy to be considered for those kinds of things too. I’m @Zenfounder on Twitter and generally hanging around the internet under that term, so that connects with people.

Scott DeLuzio:    46:12    I will link to all of this in the show notes too, so that people who maybe don’t have a pen and paper or something quick and handy to write this stuff down on, they can find all of that.  I can attest to the public speaking. I have seen you speak in person. Anyone who’s looking for a public speaker on mental health related topics, definitely reach out to Sherry because she is awesome and you need her on your stage.

Sherry Walling:  Thanks so much, Scott.

Scott DeLuzio:  Thank you very much for joining me here.

Sherry Walling:    46:46    It is really a privilege to be with you and I’m so excited about the work that you’re doing and the folks that you serve. And thanks for putting in the time to have these conversations for the veteran community.

Scott DeLuzio:    47:00    Thank you very much. I appreciate it.

Scott DeLuzio:    47:07    Thanks for listening to the Drive On Podcast. If you want to check out more episodes or learn more about the show, you can visit our website, DriveOnPodcast.com. We’re on Facebook, Twitter, and Instagram @DriveOnPodcast.

]]> 00:47:27 <![CDATA[Year End Recap and Looking for Feedback]]> Tue, 31 Dec 2019 01:00:00 +0000 Scott DeLuzio https://drive-on-podcast.castos.com/podcasts/2296/episodes/year-end-recap-and-looking-for-feedback In this year end recap episode, I’m reflecting back on some episodes that I thought had some really impactful messages.

In the new year, I want to be sure that I’m putting out content that is useful to the listeners of this show as well.

If you don’t mind, let me know what you want to hear more of. If there is something you want to hear that isn’t on the list, click the “Other” option and then fill in the box.

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]]> full 31 false In this year end recap episode, I’m reflecting back on some episodes that I thought had some really impactful messages.

In the new year, I want to be sure that I’m putting out content that is useful to the listeners of this show as well.

If you don’t mind, let me know what you want to hear more of. If there is something you want to hear that isn’t on the list, click the “Other” option and then fill in the box.

Future Episode Poll

  • What type of episodes do you want to hear?*
    I'm looking to get more episodes scheduled during the new year, and I want to make sure I'm moving in the right direction. Let me know what type of episodes you want to hear.
    • Veteran struggles / overcoming
    • "War Stories" - first hand combat experiences
    • Mental health professionals
    • Gold Star Families
    • Stories about fallen service members
    • Other (specify below)
  • Other episode ideas
  • Join our email list?
    Optional
    • Yes, please!
  • Name*
    First Last
  • Email*
  • Name
    This field is for validation purposes and should be left unchanged.

Δ

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Episodes referenced in the show:

Transcript Thanks for tuning in to the Drive On Podcast where we talk about issues affecting veterans after they get out of the military.
Before we get started, I’d like to ask for a favor. If you haven’t done so already, please rate and review the show on Apple Podcasts. If you’ve already done that, thank you! These ratings help the show get discovered, so it can reach a wider audience. While you’re there, click the subscribe button so that you get notified of new episodes as soon as they come out. If you don’t use Apple Podcasts, you can visit driveonpodcast.com/subscribe to find other ways of subscribing including our email list.

I’m your host, Scott DeLuzio. And now, let’s get on with the show.

Alright, it’s December 31, New Year’s Eve. It’s pretty cool how this year I ended up being able to do a year end recap episode on the actual last day of the year. Well to be perfectly honest, I recorded this episode last week so it isn’t truly a year end recap, but whatever it’s close enough.

First thing I wanted to do in this episode is to thank all of the guests that I’ve had on. I’m pretty sure I wouldn’t have put out as many episodes as there were without all of your amazing stories. So thank you for sharing them, but also thank you for caring enough about the other vets who are struggling that might benefit from your story.

This podcast is about 6 and a half months old. The first episode was released on June 10 2019. As of today, which is December 27, 2019 there have been 2874 downloads of this podcast, which is just shy of 100 downloads per episode, about 96, since we’ve put out 30 episodes so far.

I want to point out a few episodes that I thought were especially impactful.
First Wes Black, who actually had two episodes during the year. Episodes 13 and 14. In the first episode he talks about his experience with exposure to the toxic burn pits, which unfortunately is not unlike the experience that many of us who deployed to the Middle East has experienced. With Wes, that exposure has led to a serious battle with cancer. It serves as a reminder to me that you’re never too young to experience some major medical issues like this. We’re not immune because we’re under a certain age. Yet Wes is handling it with a smile on his face. That episode was truly encouraging to hear, so thank you Wes. In his second episode, Wes served in Afghanistan with my brother SGT Steven DeLuzio, and he talks about the day Steve was killed. It’s not all sad though, he injects some humor throughout the episode. Although I will say if you intend on listening to it, I would not suggest doing so in the car with little kids around unless you want to answer some questions about bubble gum that you might not be ready to answer. Again, Wes Black’s episodes were episode 13 and 14.
Alright, moving on.
Next, let’s talk about Mark Garduno’s episode about the VFW in episode 21. A lot of the vets from more recent wars in Iraq and Afghanistan have this misconception about the VFW as being an old man’s club. We aren’t jumping at the chance to go hang out with a bunch of people our grandparents age. But that’s not really true about the VFW. Sure there are some older Vietnam, Korea, and even WWII vets who are VFW members, but it’s there for everyone – our generation included. One of the things vets are missing out on after they get out of the military is that sense of belonging or camaraderie that you got when you were in the military. The VFW and other similar organizations like the American Legion has that. There are a bunch of like minded individuals who have shared similar experiences, who also are looking for that sense of belonging that many of us are looking for. Again, that episode was episode 21.
Alright, episodes 19, 20, and 22 with Edward Santos, Brad Noone, and Steve Alvarez respectively. I’m grouping those together because in those episodes those guys all talk about the activities they got involved in after getting out of the military. I also served with all three of those guys at one point or another. Santos talks about painting and photography, Noone talks about outdoor activities, and Alvarez talks about Yoga and music. I think sometimes activities are important – finding a hobby, or something you can do to take your mind off of the stuff that you might be going through. All three of these episodes talk about that type of stuff – episodes 19, 20, and 22.
Another great episode was episode 17 with Seth Shoultes. Seth was once a homeless veteran who is now a successful entrepreneur. I met Seth a few years ago at a tech conference, and first heard his story at another conference a little while later. It was mind blowing to hear his story and how determined he was to get away from the toxicity in his life. If you’re having a difficult time making ends meet, can’t seem to get out of toxic relationships, or any number of other issues, this episode is for you. Go give episode 17 a listen.
And episode 24 with Tony Perez. Tony’s attitude towards failing is really inspiring. It’s almost as if he doesn’t think he can fail, which allows him to take more chances and in the end become more successful. If anyone is struggling with that self doubt, or fear of failure, give episode 24 a listen.
OK, I think I’m going to stop myself here. I think all of the guests and episodes were great, but I don’t want to recap all of them. That was 8 episodes right there. That should give you some good listening material if you haven’t listened to them already. But please check out the other episodes. That’s what the show notes are for, so you can get an idea of whether or not the episode is something you’d be interested in listening to.

So, I’ve thanked the guests, but I haven’t thanked you, the listener yet. Thank you! By the time this episode comes out there will be close to 3000 downloads or listens to the episodes, which is amazing to me. Please know that I watch the little ticker increase week after week, and it really makes me happy that so many people are listening. My goal is to hit 5000 by the end of the first full year, which at this rate it seems like we’ll be just slightly under after 52 weeks. So, I’m going to need your help.

I’d like to ask a favor of you listeners. If you’ve listened to any episode that really hit home with you, or know someone who it might hit home with please give it a share so that others can listen to it too. I don’t make any money off of this podcast right now, so I don’t have a budget for ads. As a matter of fact, hosting this podcast costs me money with the website hosting, the audio hosting, the audio recording equipment and software. So, there isn’t much left for ads to reach a bigger audience. The best way for the podcast to reach a bigger audience is if the listeners can help me out and share it with their family, friends, co-workers, or whoever else might be interested.

If you haven’t done so already, subscribe to the podcast on your favorite podcasting app, or by email. You can head on over to driveonpodcast.com/subscribe to find links to all the places you can subscribe to the podcast.

Another thing I’d like to ask for is suggestions for future content. Currently I have episodes scheduled out to the end of February. That leaves 13 more episodes to be recorded to round out the first full year. I then have another 30 or so spots to fill for the rest of 2020. I’d love to hear your suggestions for the types of content you’d like to hear.

I’ve spoken mostly to other vets about the struggles they went through and what they did to pull themselves out of it. If you’d like to hear more of that, great I’ll keep doing it. I’ve also spoken to mental health professionals once in episode 28 with Dave Pecirep, and another coming out next week actually with Dr. Sherry Walling. They’ve been able to offer a lot of great advice too. Let me know, maybe more of those types of episodes would be good.

I’ve spoken to spouses about how they’ve handled deployments in episode 9 I spoke with my wife Vicki, and episode 23 with Natalie Sanders. Things we talked about in those episodes certainly play a role in the overall mental health picture as well.

I’ve also talked to family members who have lost soldiers either in war or to suicide after the war. In episode 10, I spoke with Chris Weir a Gold Star brother, episodes 16 and 18 I spoke with my parents Diane and Mark, both Gold Star parents, and episode 27 with Valerie Pallotta who lost her son to suicide after returning from Afghanistan.

I feel like I’ve covered a wide range of topics. Maybe you’d like to hear more about one particular topic or another. Maybe there’s some topic I haven’t covered yet, but should. Either way, let me know.

If you know of someone who would make a good guest, please encourage them to reach out to be a guest. On our website, DriveOnPodcast.com, there is a link at the top of the page that says Be A Guest. Click that and there will be a form people can fill out if they’d be interested in being a guest.

I think we’re putting out some good, valuable content, but I’d rather hear from the listeners to see what type of content would be most valuable to you.

With that, I think I’ll wrap up this episode. Everyone have a safe and happy new year. Don’t add to the population, don’t subtract from the population, stay out of the hospital, the newspaper, and jail. If you end up in jail, establish dominance quickly.

Have a happy new year!

Thanks for listening to the Drive On Podcast. If you want to check out more episodes or learn more about the show, you can visit our website, Drive OnPodcast.com we’re on Facebook, Twitter, and Instagram @DriveOnPodcast.

]]> 00:11:47 <![CDATA[Christmas Eve Episode Handling The Holidays]]> Tue, 24 Dec 2019 01:00:00 +0000 Scott DeLuzio https://drive-on-podcast.castos.com/podcasts/2296/episodes/christmas-eve-episode-handling-the-holidays Links & Resources:

Transcript

Thanks for tuning in to the Drive On Podcast where we talk about issues affecting veterans after they get out of the military.

Before we get started, I’d like to ask for a favor. If you haven’t done so already, please rate and review the show on Apple Podcasts. If you’ve already done that, thank you! These ratings help the show get discovered, so it can reach a wider audience. While you’re there, click the subscribe button so that you get notified of new episodes as soon as they come out. If you don’t use Apple Podcasts, you can visit driveonpodcast.com/subscribe to find other ways of subscribing including our email list.

I’m your host, Scott DeLuzio. And now, let’s get on with the show.

Hey everyone. It’s Christmas Eve and I wanted to change things up a bit in this episode. 20 of the last 21 episodes were interview style episodes with me as the host interviewing a guest. That’s almost 5 months worth of guests, which to be perfectly honest I didn’t really know whether or not I’d be able to sustain over a long period of time. But with the episodes I’ve already recorded, I have episodes with guests scheduled out through the middle of February, which is amazing to me.

What I wanted to do with this episode, since it is Christmas Eve, is to talk a little about dealing with holidays in general. Not just Christmas, but Thanksgiving, birthdays, and other significant events like anniversaries. They’re not always happy times for everyone.

Honestly I actually like this time of year. I’m the guy who starts listening to Christmas music at the beginning of November. But I’ve been there where I really didn’t look forward to Christmas, or any holiday for that matter. The year after my brother died was horrible for this. All of the firsts were hard. The first Thanksgiving without him, the first Christmas, his first birthday, and so on. When he was born I was just 3 years old, so I didn’t really remember these holidays without him.

If you’re still grieving the loss of a loved one or the loss of a relationship, I guess just know that it’s normal to not feel super happy and joyful. Give yourself time to grieve. Not only did you lose the person, but you’re also losing the traditions that you once shared, and the opportunity to make new memories with them. It’s OK to give yourself some space during these times.

Just don’t isolate yourself and refuse to be around other people. Your family or friends are likely grieving the same loss and what I found to help is to share memories of the person you lost. Laugh at the old jokes, or remember the goofy things you did together. Chances are if you’re grieving the loss there was some good times that you can reflect back on.

There is also the overwhelming stress of the holidays. I know people who go overboard with the decorations, or committing to parties, or trying to find the perfect gift for someone. Then we make things worse by going on social media and seeing how so and so has their perfect Christmas tree, or whatever. Then we look at our Charlie Brown Christmas tree and feel like we’re not good enough.

Look, let me give you a little help here. Unless you’re entering some Christmas decoration contest in your neighborhood, no one but you cares what your house is decorated like. The neighbors are not talking about how that one strand of lights keeps going out on the bush over on the side of your house. Your parents aren’t wondering why the wreath isn’t perfectly centered on the door. No one cares.

Imagine the enormous amount of stress that would be taken off your shoulders if you didn’t care about these things either? I’m not saying don’t decorate your house if that’s what makes you happy, but don’t do it to make someone else h...

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Transcript

Thanks for tuning in to the Drive On Podcast where we talk about issues affecting veterans after they get out of the military.

Before we get started, I’d like to ask for a favor. If you haven’t done so already, please rate and review the show on Apple Podcasts. If you’ve already done that, thank you! These ratings help the show get discovered, so it can reach a wider audience. While you’re there, click the subscribe button so that you get notified of new episodes as soon as they come out. If you don’t use Apple Podcasts, you can visit driveonpodcast.com/subscribe to find other ways of subscribing including our email list.

I’m your host, Scott DeLuzio. And now, let’s get on with the show.

Hey everyone. It’s Christmas Eve and I wanted to change things up a bit in this episode. 20 of the last 21 episodes were interview style episodes with me as the host interviewing a guest. That’s almost 5 months worth of guests, which to be perfectly honest I didn’t really know whether or not I’d be able to sustain over a long period of time. But with the episodes I’ve already recorded, I have episodes with guests scheduled out through the middle of February, which is amazing to me.

What I wanted to do with this episode, since it is Christmas Eve, is to talk a little about dealing with holidays in general. Not just Christmas, but Thanksgiving, birthdays, and other significant events like anniversaries. They’re not always happy times for everyone.

Honestly I actually like this time of year. I’m the guy who starts listening to Christmas music at the beginning of November. But I’ve been there where I really didn’t look forward to Christmas, or any holiday for that matter. The year after my brother died was horrible for this. All of the firsts were hard. The first Thanksgiving without him, the first Christmas, his first birthday, and so on. When he was born I was just 3 years old, so I didn’t really remember these holidays without him.

If you’re still grieving the loss of a loved one or the loss of a relationship, I guess just know that it’s normal to not feel super happy and joyful. Give yourself time to grieve. Not only did you lose the person, but you’re also losing the traditions that you once shared, and the opportunity to make new memories with them. It’s OK to give yourself some space during these times.

Just don’t isolate yourself and refuse to be around other people. Your family or friends are likely grieving the same loss and what I found to help is to share memories of the person you lost. Laugh at the old jokes, or remember the goofy things you did together. Chances are if you’re grieving the loss there was some good times that you can reflect back on.

There is also the overwhelming stress of the holidays. I know people who go overboard with the decorations, or committing to parties, or trying to find the perfect gift for someone. Then we make things worse by going on social media and seeing how so and so has their perfect Christmas tree, or whatever. Then we look at our Charlie Brown Christmas tree and feel like we’re not good enough.

Look, let me give you a little help here. Unless you’re entering some Christmas decoration contest in your neighborhood, no one but you cares what your house is decorated like. The neighbors are not talking about how that one strand of lights keeps going out on the bush over on the side of your house. Your parents aren’t wondering why the wreath isn’t perfectly centered on the door. No one cares.

Imagine the enormous amount of stress that would be taken off your shoulders if you didn’t care about these things either? I’m not saying don’t decorate your house if that’s what makes you happy, but don’t do it to make someone else happy while creating misery for yourself.

If you have kids, one way to reduce the stress you have about decorating is to have them help. Some people just passed out at that thought. Maybe I should wait a sec for them to come back to. Seriously though have them cut out snowflakes or whatever and hang them up around the house. It’ll look like Buddy the Elf dropped by for a visit. Make Christmas cookies with them, be silly and decorate with them with no expectations that it’ll be perfect. Because damn it just won’t be perfect at all. This year my daughter really wanted to help decorate, so her and I strung all the lights around the outside of the house. When we decided we needed a new tree topper I took her to the store and we got this funny as hell Santa head. It looks like, ok just picture a deer head mounted on the wall after hunting. It’s that just Santa. It’s got the hat, the beard, everything. It doesn’t even stay on the tree all that well. When the dog goes and scratches herself under the tree the head is usually flung across the room. It’s like that scene in the Godfather when there is a horse head in the bed.

It’s not the classiest tree topper, I guess is my point. But I don’t care. My wife doesn’t care. My kids think it’s fucking awesome. The neighbors might think it’s a little weird, but again I don’t care. It’s my tree not theirs.

You don’t have to be perfect. There’s actually some fun to be had by not being perfect.

Let’s talk about presents for a minute. I have a study here that I looked up, and it says this year the average American will spend $920 per person on holiday gifts. I think that means each person spends $920 in total on all the gifts they buy, and not that they spend $920 on everyone they buy gifts for. Still that’s almost $1,000 in gifts. For some people that’s just over the top expensive. Sure, there are some people who can afford that without a problem, but I would guess there are a good number of people struggle to come up with that kind of money.

Here’s a tip, that is way too late for this Christmas, but it’s a good tip to give regardless. Keep it in mind for other holidays or next Christmas. Alright, here it is. Work out a budget that goes over all the things you spend money on each month. List out everything. The best way I’ve found to do this is to actually go back into your bank statements or credit card statements and see what you spend money on each month. Rent or your mortgage, utilities, food, Netflix, going out to eat, clothes, gas and car maintenance, medical bills, retirement and other investments. List everything. Then add all that up and subtract that number from the amount of money you earn each month. That should give you a good idea of how much money you have left over to spend on gifts.

Now let’s say you have $75 left over. That doesn’t mean you can’t buy $900 worth of gifts for Christmas if you really want to. It just means you have to start saving. Right now. $75 times 12 months is $900. If you start saving that left over money now, and are consistent about it each month you’ll have $900 to spend on gifts next Christmas. Imagine finding an extra $900 in your bank account that you could spend freely on those gifts. That would surely take a bunch of stress out of the equation, wouldn’t it?

An even better approach is to look at all those expenses that you tallied up and figure out which of them you can cut out or at least reduce. Then not only would you have that $75 left over, but you might be able to get a little bit more. Then you would have some breathing room at the end of the year.

That’s not what we typically do though is it? We end up using our credit card and gift ourselves the gift of starting off the new year with $900 in debt at 20% interest. So that stress carries into the new year. If we’re lucky we’ve paid it off before next Christmas, when the cycle repeats itself again.

It’s no wonder that people get stressed out around Christmas.

A few weeks ago, my wife was feeling stressed with all the things that were going on in the month of December for us. It was getting to be really overwhelming to her to keep track of where she needed to be, where the kids needed to be, who needed what outfit, or what dish she was going to prepare for a certain event. Now, none of the things we had on our plates this month were, or are, really that big of a deal by themselves. But when you look at the whole month and try to plan everything out at once, it does get a bit overwhelming.

When my wife came to me telling me that she was feeling overwhelmed, I suggested to her to stop trying to figure everything out on a high level, and look at each individual day, or each event on that day if there were multiple things going on.

There’s a saying How do you eat an elephant? One bite at a time. Obviously, no one is suggesting that you eat an elephant. I think you can replace an elephant with any other bizarre, large task you want. How to you build a skyscraper? One brick at a time. How do you run across the country? One step at a time. The point is that you have a big daunting task in front of you, and you can’t possibly do it all at once. Instead figure out what each step is going to be in order to get that task done. For our family, that required us to lay out a calendar with everything we had going on, and figure out who needed to be where and when. One day in particular we needed to be in three places at once, which obviously wasn’t possible, but we made it work by enlisting the help of my parents. If for some reason they weren’t available to help, we would have just chosen what we were going to do and stuck with our decision.

And finally, try not to spend too much time alone. If you don’t have family or friends around that are available, try volunteering somewhere that you can help out. Maybe it’s not the same as having Christmas dinner with your family, but it can be a rewarding experience too.

Oh, and one other thing I wanted to mention. Last thing, I promise. I put up a new page on the website with resources for veterans. If you go to the website DriveOnPodcast.com, you’ll see a link at the top of the page for Veteran Resources. If you’re on a smartphone or a tablet you might see three lines next to the logo. Tap on that and it’ll open up the menu where you’ll find the Veteran Resources link.

If you or someone you know is struggling with any number of things, substance abuse, homelessness, thoughts of suicide, or just looking for resources to get outside, get into the arts, or what have you, there are a bunch of links on that page to all the resources. I’ve tried to link all the resources we talk about in the show in the show notes for each episode, but I’ve also added them to this resources page so you’ll have one central location to find all the books, and other resources we talk about in each episode.

That’s all I have for this week. I’ll be back next week with another solo episode where I’ll be taking a look back at the first six months or so of the podcast, and talk about the plans for the new year.

Have a Merry Christmas everyone.

Thanks for listening to the Drive On Podcast. If you want to check out more episodes or learn more about the show, you can visit our website, DriveOnPodcast.com we’re on Facebook, Twitter, and Instagram @DriveOnPodcast.

]]> 00:17:43 <![CDATA[PTSDog Service Dogs For Vets With PTSD]]> Tue, 17 Dec 2019 01:00:37 +0000 Scott DeLuzio https://drive-on-podcast.castos.com/podcasts/2296/episodes/ptsdog-service-dogs-for-vets-with-ptsd Joaquin Juatai is a disabled veteran and an author of the book PTSDog: Post Traumatic Stress Disorder and the Service Dog. He also hosts The Service Dog Show with PTSDog, which is broadcast on WDVR. He educates, supports, and advocates for other veterans who have chosen to use a service dog as part of their own recovery, which has effectively turned his disability into a mission.

Joaquin talks about the process of getting a service dog and stresses the importance of continuously training your service dog, no matter what condition they are assisting with. He also goes into the rights that service dog handlers have and some of the misconceptions that business owners and the general public have with regards to service dogs.

Links & Resources

Transcript

Scott DeLuzio:    00:00    Hey everybody, this is the Drive On Podcast where we talk about issues affecting veterans after they get out of the military. I’m your host, Scott DeLuzio. And now let’s get on with the show.

Scott DeLuzio:    00:15    Thanks for tuning in to the Drive On Podcast. Before we get started, I want to take a quick minute to ask a favor from you. The point of this podcast is to help veterans through sharing stories like the one we’re about to hear. It’s not really going to help if no one hears the story. So, if you wouldn’t mind, hit pause for a second and head on over to DriveOnPodcasts.com/subscribe where you can find links to subscribe and to review the show on your favorite podcast app. And if you don’t mind taking a minute to share the podcast on social media or even directly to a friend who you think might benefit by listening to the podcast, I’d really appreciate it. Okay. So today my guest is Joaquin Juatai. He is a disabled veteran and author of the book PTSDog, Post Traumatic Stress Disorder and the Service Dog. He also hosts the service dog show with PTSDog, which is broadcast on a WDVR. He educates, supports and advocates for other veterans who have chosen to use a service dog as part of their own recovery, which has effectively turned his disability into a mission. So, Joaquin, thank you so much for joining me. Why don’t you go ahead and tell us a little bit about yourself, a little bit about your military background and things that you’re getting into.

Joaquin Juatai:    01:34    Oh, it’s my pleasure to be here. Thank you for having me. I was in the United States Navy for 15 years and I had some experiences during my service that I didn’t know had affected me. That was my final sea tour, three years on an aircraft carrier, got home and went to shore duty and things were not right. Things were different. My life was falling apart. I didn’t understand what was happening. I was drinking excessively, over-exercising and tearing my body apart to try and deal with what was going on in my head without understanding what was going on with my head. I had an accident which broke one of the vertebrae in my back and crushed several disks and that effectively ended my Navy career.

Joaquin Juatai:    02:39    When I broke my back and was unable to go run for 10 or 15 miles a day, all of a sudden, this stuff that was going on in my head caught up. Ultimately, ending me up inpatient in a mental health hospital in a wing dedicated fo...

]]> full 29 false Joaquin Juatai is a disabled veteran and an author of the book PTSDog: Post Traumatic Stress Disorder and the Service Dog. He also hosts The Service Dog Show with PTSDog, which is broadcast on WDVR. He educates, supports, and advocates for other veterans who have chosen to use a service dog as part of their own recovery, which has effectively turned his disability into a mission.

Joaquin talks about the process of getting a service dog and stresses the importance of continuously training your service dog, no matter what condition they are assisting with. He also goes into the rights that service dog handlers have and some of the misconceptions that business owners and the general public have with regards to service dogs.

Links & Resources

Transcript

Scott DeLuzio:    00:00    Hey everybody, this is the Drive On Podcast where we talk about issues affecting veterans after they get out of the military. I’m your host, Scott DeLuzio. And now let’s get on with the show.

Scott DeLuzio:    00:15    Thanks for tuning in to the Drive On Podcast. Before we get started, I want to take a quick minute to ask a favor from you. The point of this podcast is to help veterans through sharing stories like the one we’re about to hear. It’s not really going to help if no one hears the story. So, if you wouldn’t mind, hit pause for a second and head on over to DriveOnPodcasts.com/subscribe where you can find links to subscribe and to review the show on your favorite podcast app. And if you don’t mind taking a minute to share the podcast on social media or even directly to a friend who you think might benefit by listening to the podcast, I’d really appreciate it. Okay. So today my guest is Joaquin Juatai. He is a disabled veteran and author of the book PTSDog, Post Traumatic Stress Disorder and the Service Dog. He also hosts the service dog show with PTSDog, which is broadcast on a WDVR. He educates, supports and advocates for other veterans who have chosen to use a service dog as part of their own recovery, which has effectively turned his disability into a mission. So, Joaquin, thank you so much for joining me. Why don’t you go ahead and tell us a little bit about yourself, a little bit about your military background and things that you’re getting into.

Joaquin Juatai:    01:34    Oh, it’s my pleasure to be here. Thank you for having me. I was in the United States Navy for 15 years and I had some experiences during my service that I didn’t know had affected me. That was my final sea tour, three years on an aircraft carrier, got home and went to shore duty and things were not right. Things were different. My life was falling apart. I didn’t understand what was happening. I was drinking excessively, over-exercising and tearing my body apart to try and deal with what was going on in my head without understanding what was going on with my head. I had an accident which broke one of the vertebrae in my back and crushed several disks and that effectively ended my Navy career.

Joaquin Juatai:    02:39    When I broke my back and was unable to go run for 10 or 15 miles a day, all of a sudden, this stuff that was going on in my head caught up. Ultimately, ending me up inpatient in a mental health hospital in a wing dedicated for service members where I was diagnosed with PTSD and I jumped through all the hoops for the Navy at the time, at the VA, I did all the classes, I went to all the different counseling, and I took all the pills. And when I say all the pills, I was taking more than 30 different pills, 11 different prescriptions a day. During that time, they did process me for a medical discharge, under honorable conditions.

Joaquin Juatai:    03:30    I remember waking up one morning, to start my daily routine, which was take my pills, lay in bed and stare at the ceiling for eight hours before I took my pills and went to sleep. And that was my life.  I literally did nothing between the pain and recovering from back surgery and all the zombie cocktail of medication that the VA had me on for PTSD, I had no life. I was a zombie. I just existed for my next dose of pills. And I remember laying there staring at the ceiling thinking there really has to be more, there has to be more life than this. And my wife at the time suggested that I get a service dog. We just so happened to have recently started breeding Alaskan Malamutes. So, we decided that one of the puppies from our first litter would be my service dog.

Joaquin Juatai:    04:33    At this point in time, I really didn’t know what that meant. I didn’t understand the laws, didn’t understand what was necessary to train him. I was completely clueless. So, I said, “sure, why not.” I have to do something and anything’s better than this.  Skater was born, literally fit in the palm of my hand when he was born. He weighed exactly one pound 16 ounces. He had to be born via C-section. So, I wasn’t there when he was born because it was at the vets. However, I got to hold him in my hand about three hours later. And I knew in that instant that that was my dog. That’s not normal. That’s how it worked for me. And that was almost nine years ago. I never looked back. I started learning about the laws, started learning.

Joaquin Juatai:    05:28    I knew how to train dogs. I grew up in Alaska. I mushed Alaska Malamutes when I was in high school, I did dog sledding. So, I wasn’t completely clueless about training a dog to be a good dog but I didn’t understand things about them being a service dog. Somewhere about a year or more, about nine or ten months of age for Skater, I decided that they weren’t helping me and I did probably one of the stupidest, most dangerous things I could have done. I quit all the VA drugs cold turkey and I was very, very sick for quite a few months. That was the dumbest thing I could’ve done. What I should have done is gone and talked to my doctors and said, “this isn’t working. I need your help to wean off of these.” However, I didn’t and it nearly killed me.

Joaquin Juatai:    06:24    At the same time as I was so sick and withdrawing from the side effects of all these drugs, I was working training Skater and reading and learning about service dogs. I started to discover that first of all, since he had been born, I had a reason to get up in the morning other than taking drugs. I had potty trained my puppy; I’d take care of my puppy, had to feed the dog. I had to take him and walk him. I had to do some training with him. And so, slowly building on his training and my experience with him and my knowledge, I started training him to perform tasks, to assist me with my disability. And by the time he was three years old, we were working in doing public access and he was really starting to shine.

Joaquin Juatai:    07:22    I would say for the past five or six years solid, he really has not left my side. I went from a reclusive zombie to published author, radio show host, different veteran’s groups and productions, radio shows and things reach out to me for my advice, for my opinion for my self-taught expertise on the subject. I don’t claim to be an expert but other people call me an expert. What I discovered during the process when I was training Skater and learning about service dogs and everything is that there was no one place, there was no one book. I’m the kind of person, if I’m going to do something, let me pick up the book and read about it and learn as much as I can about it.

Joaquin Juatai:    08:26    Well, that wasn’t there. It didn’t exist. And it just so happens that I was a journalist as my career in the Navy. So, I had the training to do the research, put together a book, interview people, get their experiences in there and write it. So, three years ago, I decided that’s what I’m going to do. Just a little bit more, three years ago, actually. In July of 2016, I started the PTSDog Project.

Scott DeLuzio:    09:07    That’s a great background on who you are and how you got to where you are and everything. I’d love to talk to you more about the process of getting your dog trained to be a service dog. Is it typical that people would do the training on their own or is it one of those things where a lot of times people will get a service dog that has already been trained by some sort of trainer, that’s kind of a big black box, to me?  I’m not sure how that whole process typically works.

Joaquin Juatai:    09:46    There are three ways to get a “service dog.” The Americans with Disabilities Act is the law that protects the right of disabled people to train and use a service dog to assist with their disability. In that law, it specifically states that disabled people have the right, it is a right, it is not a privilege. The law doesn’t grant this. It protects the right of a disabled person to train their own service dog. So, method number one is to find a dog that has the appropriate temperament and train it. If you have the knowledge, if you have the skill, if you have the patience and the ability, you are well within your rights to train your dog to be a service dog. Specifically, when we’re talking about a PTSD service dog, as long as you understand how to train your dog, in my opinion and it’s personal experience, this is the absolute best way to do it.

Joaquin Juatai:    10:54    The reason for that is because everything that Skater does for me is based on the bond that we formed from birth on up. The way you bond with your dog is training your dog. And so, as he was growing up, he was seeing my PTSD symptoms exhibit and he started forming natural responses to those symptoms and I was able to take his natural response and shape that through training into a nameable task in order to fulfill the requirements of the law, which is that a service dog must be trained to perform work or tasks to assist their disabled handler with their disability. The second method, if you don’t have the experience, again as you might remember, I used to mush dogs when I was a kid. I have been around dogs my whole life. Been around Malamutes quite a bit of my life.

Joaquin Juatai:    11:54    So, I knew what I was doing in regards to training the dog. The second method is almost as good as doing it yourself. I call it Cooperative Training.  Cooperative training is where you use a trainer or an organization that provides trainers to help you train with your dog? A perfect example of this is Tad Saw train a dog, save a warrior. They specialize in training veterans and their personal dogs. They will screen the dog and make sure that it’s got a suitable temperament to be a service dog. Meaning it’s not reactive to other dogs. It’s not aggressive, it’s not fearful. And then they will go through the veteran and the dog together. We’ll go through training classes with a trainer. And what they’re really literally doing is training the veteran to train their own dog. The goal is by the time you graduate the Tad Saw program, you should be able to turn around and train another team, learn one, do one, teach one remember that concept from the Army.

Joaquin Juatai:    13:06    That’s a really great idea. That is fantastic. It requires something that I learned by doing it myself. It requires a lot of sweat equity. And that’s, I think the number one lesson from both self-training and from cooperative training that you get exactly what you put into your dog, out of your dog. So, if you don’t put the time and the effort and the consistency into training your dog, you don’t get a dog that’s able to perform with consistency and is calm and is confident. Which leads to the third method. Yes, there are organizations out there who provide “fully trained service dogs” specifically. There are a lot of organizations that train PTSD service dogs.

Joaquin Juatai:    14:02    And here’s where I’ve found through talking with thousands of veterans through the PTSDog where I’ve found that there’s some issues with that. First of all, when I was raising Skater and training him, he was exposed to me in full PTSD mode and he learned what was going on with me. And he picked up on that and started responding. When my stress level started to increase, you know, and adrenaline started dumping into my system. You know, he started to respond to that. Dogs can smell the chemical changes that happen in our bodies. They can hear our heart rate increased that you know, but dog senses are much more highly attuned than ours and they can sense physiological changes that reflect what’s going on psychologically in our brains, right? Well a stranger can’t train any dog to recognize what’s going on physiologically when I’m having a psychological meltdown.

Joaquin Juatai:    15:05    A third party can’t do that. So, you have third party trained dogs exist and there is a time and a place for them. Look at a mobility assistance dog that does things like pick up your keys and fetch your shoes and opens the fridge and opens doors for you. That’s very specific, very time consuming and you have to be very knowledgeable to do that training. That’s absolutely a time and a place where having somebody else trains the dog and then teaches you how to handle the dog is absolutely appropriate. PTSD. The whole point in my mind of a PTSD service dog is to be proactive. I have not had a full-on PTSD meltdown. Actually, I had the first one three or four weeks ago. The first one I had in about three years because Skater intervenes before things get there and he couldn’t do that

Joaquin Juatai:    16:00    if some stranger trained him.

Scott DeLuzio:  What are some of the things that the dogs will do for someone who’s having a PTSD episode to deescalate that if that’s even the right term.

Joaquin Juatai:  Well, every person is different. Every disability exhibits differently for every person. People with PTSD do have some commonalities, common symptomology. We have panic attacks, anxiety, rage fits, hypervigilance. Essentially the fight or flight response is always right there ready to go. Just there’s no filter anymore. You’re wired tight, ready to rock, and you go one of two ways. You’re either ready to fight or you’re ready to run always.  So that was one of the problems I had was hypervigilance, extreme hypervigilance. I couldn’t go shopping. I would make it 10 or 15 feet into the store, turn around and leave and go sit in my truck and make my wife do it.

Joaquin Juatai:    17:08    I couldn’t do it. It was too difficult trying to watch everything going on in the environment I had absolutely no control over. So, what I taught my dog to do is watch the environment and warn me when there are things that might be potentially hazardous. I lived in Pueblo, Colorado and we had a very bad methamphetamine problem in Pueblo at the time back in the early 2010s and Skater picked up on the fact that tweakers, I was immediately ready to throw down because you could not predict what these people were going to do and then they’re just potentially dangerous because of the drugs around. And so, if I saw a tweaker in a grocery aisle, I’d go around; Skeeter picked up on that and he would start to warn me.

Joaquin Juatai:    18:16    So, one of the things that he does for me that helps alleviate the hypervigilance is he’s my forward observer. He always walks, he does not work at a picture per perfect heel. I didn’t train him. I did train him to walk at a heel, but what I trained him to do is be two or three feet ahead of me. So, he’s a hundred-pound dog. He’s a big dog. So, we’re still basically joined at the hip, just actual hip to hip. So, his nose is out there. He is seeing what’s going on in front of me. He looks around the corner of an aisle before I do. And if it’s crowded, he’ll look back at me and he’ll either nudge the cart or me in the opposite direction or he’ll sit, which warns me, “Hey, it’s crowded down there. We might want to go around and come back to that aisle.”

Joaquin Juatai:    19:05    So then I’m not packed into a crowded aisle trying to watch my back. Right. And so, I’m not overreacting, so I’m calmer. So that takes me from that fight or flight response ready to go. It takes it down a notch, takes it down. And another thing he does for me is watch my six standing in line. People crowd you in line and this is a fairly typical PTSD response. People with PTSD can’t handle being packed in a line like that. I have a hundred-pound Malamute as a service dog. He posts up right behind me at 90 degrees. Nobody approaches my back with a hundred-pound dog that looks like a Wolf behind me. Now listen, remember when I said the ADA requires that the dog perform a task to assist with my disability, it also says that I can’t perform the task myself.

Joaquin Juatai:    20:01    So, creating a physical buffer to keep other people away from me in a packed line in the grocery store, there are two ways I can do it run, which means I can’t shop or shove them, which is a felony. It’s called assault. But if there’s a hundred-pound dog sitting there, problem solved. So, people say, oh blocking, that’s not a task. Actually, it absolutely is. It fully fulfills the definition as required by the law. I can’t do it myself. Not without breaking the law, but if there’s a hundred-pound dog that looks like a Wolf standing behind me, nobody approaches me. So, PTSD service dogs like Skater does nightmare intervention. I started having a nightmare. He comes and gets on the bed and performs another task. Deep pressure therapy. He’ll lay on me, at least halfway on my body, on my core.

Joaquin Juatai:    20:58    And that pressure provides a release of endorphins, a release of dopamine and it calms; this has been medically proven. That’s why weighted blankets work for people, thunder shirts for dogs, same concept.  I trained him to alert me when I was starting to get mad when I was, when I was starting to get, for lack of a better term, triggered. I don’t do triggered. I talk about stressors and here’s why. What happens when a trigger gets pulled? The downrange gets destroyed, the results are inevitable, right? So, I taught my dog to help me handle stressors so that the trigger didn’t get pulled. I try not to get to that point. That word has been so abused politically. It’s been co-opted and that’s a shame because it really minimalizes mental health issues and that bothers me.

Joaquin Juatai:    22:07    I hate the word because of how it’s been co-opted. So, what I did is I taught Skater to warn me when my levels are getting higher, when my stress is starting to come up, I’m starting to dump those stress hormones. Adrenaline starting to creep in there. So, level one and he naturally would respond. He picked that up on his own and started coming over to me when I was getting there. And here again, back to owner training or cooperative training. A little light went on in my head and I went, “Oh Hey, I did a little self-evaluation. What’s going on? Why is he coming over here and noes to me? Oh, I’m starting to get stressed out, man.” So, when I realized that’s what he was doing, I took that natural alert, and trained it into a task.

Joaquin Juatai:    22:54    He sits on my foot. So, level one, when I’m starting to get where I don’t want to go, Skater sits on my foot. That’s warning level one. Dad, chill. Got it. You’d need to calm down. Level two, if I keep escalating, he escalates. He starts leaning against me, trying to push me away from the stressor. Tries to get me out of that situation. Level three has only happened three times. He turns around, rears up, puts his paws on my shoulders, knocks me flat on my back and lays on me full length until I’m calm enough to leave. Because what happens when a hundred-pound dog is lying on you full length in the middle of a Walmart, you have no choice but to pet the dog because he will not get up. He knows you’re about to do something wrong. He would not get up.

Joaquin Juatai:    23:46    He will not get up until I am calm enough so I have to pet him because he’s lying on me full length. It’s human nature. If a hundred-pound dog is laying on you full, you pet the dog. Right? That has been scientifically proven to produce calming effect, releases endorphin. It lowers the stress hormone levels and it calms you. And that’s an extreme case. I mean that’s when things are going way too much at that point when he’s lying on me in the middle of a store. Without him, I would have been laying somebody else out. Fists would have been flying or I would have been at a dead run trying to escape and things don’t get that way anymore.

Scott DeLuzio:    24:37    That’s interesting. And it’s awesome to hear how the dogs can be trained and how receptive they are to the chemical changes and all that stuff. My wife about a little over a year ago now started having seizures for the first time ever and in her life. And we have an English bulldog who at the time was like 10 years old, so she had never been trained for any service dog type of thing like that. But when my wife got back home from the hospital, she’d start to have seizures at home and our dog started to pick up on some of the cues that she would have and she would come and sit by her side before my wife was even experiencing any of the symptoms.

Scott DeLuzio:    25:24    And then within like a minute or two later, whatever the time period was, she would start to feel the seizures were coming on. And we started noticing that the dog was instinctively going to her right before the seizures were going to happen. And it was every single time, like clockwork, that she had a seizure. The dog was going right to her. That was with no training and I’m not trying to claim that she’s a service dog or anything like that either. It just goes to speak to the ability of dogs to be able to do.

Joaquin Juatai:    25:57    That’s a natural alert. And again, you know, family dog been around its whole life, bonded to the family. No, something’s wrong with mom.  And that’s a natural alert. And when you find a dog that has that ability that is able to pick up naturally, that’s the ideal because you take that natural alert and you use it to train that dog to do something specific. So, if you want the dog to sit to warn you every time it happens, then you start rewarding. Good job, good job. You warned me as you’re taking your rescue meds, if you have that option or whatever, you know. The only way to figure that is if the dog is with you. Sure. If there’s somebody else training the dog, that whole part of the equation doesn’t exist.

Joaquin Juatai:    26:52    And specifically for things like seizures, things like PTSD, anxiety alert, heart rate, diabetes. Diabetes is a little different because you can actually take the spit of a diabetic and freeze it and send it to a training organization and with the smell of their breath the dog can be taught at different sugar levels. When you smelled this, do this, that’s a little bit different, but it’s much easier to do it at home. But with the dog right there with you, sure. Putting cotton balls in your mouth when your sugars down to 30 and then, freezing them and mailing when your sugars down that low, you’re not thinking about that. And that’s just the process of training your service dog, especially PTSD service dog forces, a couple of things to happen.

Joaquin Juatai:    27:45    It forces you to be introspective. You have to think about what’s happening, why is it happening and how do I want my dog to warn me so that I can do something different? Okay. And one of the biggest ways, especially in places like public, that a PTSD service dog works is redirection. And I’m not talking about redirecting the dog’s attention. I’m talking about where the handler’s attention goes. Instead of, Oh my God, it’s crowded. It’s loud. Walmart, perfect example. It’s crowded, it’s loud. You can’t control the environment. You don’t know what’s around the next corner. You know, all of these things are high anxiety, high energy, get that fight or flight ready to go, okay? But if you’re focusing on making sure your dog’s on point, giving your dog commands to tell your dog where you’re going to go, cause guess what? Dogs can’t read our minds.

Joaquin Juatai:    28:42    So, you know, tell your dog, Hey, we’re going right, we’re going left. I use sled dog commands, hot and G, slow down, let’s go forward, straight ahead. Handling, an active verb, handling your dog, it becomes your job. I don’t go to the grocery store to buy groceries. I go to the grocery store to train and handle my dog. And that’s another thing that both owner training and cooperative training understand and acknowledges that training never ends. There is no such thing as a fully trained service dog. It doesn’t exist because a dog is a living being and if you don’t maintain training by training, they lose that training. Just like just like we did in the military. If you didn’t practice, if you didn’t go to the range, if you didn’t X, do exercises, if you didn’t practice doing your job in the Navy, it was firefighting. If you didn’t do that, you lost the skills. Why do we train all the time? Train, train, train, or we’re spending so much time training while you need that training when you’re deployed, right? But if you don’t have the training, you don’t know what’s happening when you’re deployed. That’s exactly right.

Scott DeLuzio:    30:03    All of those skills are perishable. If you don’t use it, you lose it.

Joaquin Juatai:    30:08     And it’s the exact same with the dog. So here I am, I’m this veteran, I’ve got the PTSD and I’m going to get this fully trained service dog and after six months or a year, the dog’s not doing what it’s supposed to be doing. But they said it was fully trained. What they didn’t do was train the veteran. They didn’t give the veteran the tools that the veteran needed to maintain that level of behavior and performing of tasks. Because the whole premise behind a third-party organization training a service dog is that nobody else knows how to train a dog. All right? Guess what? Anybody can train a dog. Anybody is capable of it as long as they want to do a little bit of learning and be consistent and patient and work with the dog. Anybody has the capability if they make up their minds to do it.

Scott DeLuzio:    31:10    That’s great advice because some people might just shy away from the idea of getting a service dog because they might think it’s too expensive to have a full dedicated trainer to do all of this stuff and they just would never be able to get it done for a reasonable cost. And I’m not trying to say that it’s inexpensive to train the dog on your own because there’s things that you need to learn and things like that. I’m not trying to say that but on the flip side where you have somebody else who’s doing the training for you that I’ve heard from other people that could run into the tens of thousands of dollars and that could be lots of money and most people don’t have that just laying around.

Joaquin Juatai:    31:56    There are organizations who claim that it takes, now remember we’re talking about nonprofits here, so ideally there should be no quid pro quo for the vet. Ideally, we provide the organization and we provide the dog to you free of charge. That is the ideal. There are very few organizations where that’s actually true, right? Some of the organizations want a dog and pony show and they have a very specific visual type of veteran that they assist. They all look pretty much the same and there’s lots of pictures of them and they show up at events with their dog and they’re put through this media ringer, a dog and pony show. Let me tell you something, if you’re at the point in your life like I was where all I did was live to take my pills and stare at the ceiling, there’s no way I could have gone out and performed for such and such organization.

Joaquin Juatai:    33:02    The PTSD was running me too much. So, think about that. If they expect you to go out and doing song and dance, dance a jig, some of these organizations require that the veterans do fundraising. Again, dog and pony show. You have to go out there and raise $25,000 in order to get the dog. That’s quid pro quo. That’s not the way nonprofit is supposed to work. It verges right on the line of not being legal.  Some of these organizations, the ones that I refer veterans to, the cooperative training organizations require sweat equity. It’s the same as training your dog yourself. They require that you come to class, go to class, and when you go home, keep practicing, right? You’d better be practicing; practice for half an hour with your dog, twice a day, every day until next week’s class, two classes a week.

Joaquin Juatai:    34:05    That’s a little easier because you have more guidance from the trainer. But a lot of people drop out of these cooperative programs when they realize it’s actually work. But guess what? Handling your service dog is actually work. No matter who trains it. At the end of the day, when you’re walking down the street with the leash in your hand, if you don’t know what you’re doing, you’re in trouble.

Scott DeLuzio:  Let’s talk a little bit about your book that you have. So, the book, PTSDog Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder and the Service Dog.  What’s the book all about?

Joaquin Juatai:  Well, like I said, as I was beginning, what I now call my PTSD journey, I didn’t understand anything about the laws. I didn’t understand what a service dog was, what it could do. I had to discover all of that for lack of a better term, the hard way.

Joaquin Juatai:    35:02     I happened to be one of those thick-headed knuckleheads who learns best if they do it the hard way. And I learned some hard lessons and at one point, just being told by some bottled blonde soccer mom looking woman in a grocery store, “you can’t bring that dog in here.” “Well, yeah, I can. He’s my service dog.” “Well, he’s not wearing the vest.” And I realized, wait a minute, there’s a problem here. First of all, there are a lot of veterans who are walking around with dogs in harnesses and vests and all these fancy leashes and they don’t understand what their rights are and they don’t understand the law. And at the same time, on the other side of that coin, there are a lot of people out there, businesses that have no clue what my rights as a disabled person are.

Joaquin Juatai:    35:58    And so I started researching, there’s got to be a book or something that explains all this. There wasn’t, there was not a book, there was not one. I went to the ADA website, did all the research, pulled up all the documentation, read titles, two and three of the ADA found all the appropriate sections. But that took me a lot of time. That was research that took the training that I got both in college and in the Navy, that took using skills that not a lot of people have. I thought to myself, look, Johnny veteran on the street who just spent nine years in the Marine Corps isn’t going to necessarily even understand that these are the questions he’s going to need to ask or answer. That’s just it where there’s 99.9% of the population of the United States doesn’t even understand what a service dog is.

Joaquin Juatai:    36:59    They just really don’t. There’s no one place with no agenda where you can find that information except for the Americans with disabilities act website. If you’re prepared to sit down for hundreds of hours and read through the US federal register and US code. And let me tell you, my eyes crossed so many times as I was researching and reading through this stuff. So, I thought, well, what did I do in the Navy? I was a journalist for 15 years.  I was journalist when I was in college. I was doing radio writing for the paper. I was a journalist in high school, I wrote for the high school paper, I took photos, what am I doing with my life right now with that training? I’ve got all this experience and training.

Joaquin Juatai:    37:52    What am I doing with it? Nothing. Well, why not? Here’s the need. There is no one place to find all this information. Here’s my ability. Here’s my audience, my brothers and sisters in arms, veterans who should know this, especially if they’re holding onto a leash. So, I wrote the book and what the book PTSDog is, is an explanation of the ADA and of PTSD service dogs specifically, but it’s applicable to any service dog in regards to the law, how they help and how the law works. For service dog handlers and for businesses through the eyes of veterans who use service dogs. So, for instance, I tell the story of a restaurant refusing to allow a veteran access in a veteran’s words. And then I explain the law, what’s applicable and how possible way to readdress that issue

Joaquin Juatai:    38:59    and educate the business.  One veteran who I interviewed was literally chased off of a bus in Cleveland, Ohio and harassed face to face, chest thumping and the whole nine yards by the bus driver because of his service dog. This is incredibly illegal. What happened? He took it to court and got a settlement from the city of Cincinnati. That story’s in there. And the process he went through to report it and what laws were broken.  I break it down, use the veterans’ stories so that it’s relatable. And when you read it, you understand that little light goes on, “Oh, well, yeah, I get it. I understand what that means now” rather than reading the cold legal language on the ADA website and trying to slog through the law.

Joaquin Juatai:    39:58    Everything I say about the law, I referenced where in the law it says it. If you want to look it up, it’s in a footnote. Go right there and look up what I am saying.  I don’t make any claims about the law that I don’t back up with the appropriate reference. So, in some ways it’s like a term paper, you know, a college term paper because you can’t make a statement about the law and not give the people the opportunity to read the law. All through the PTSDog project, I’ve told people, “if you don’t believe me, here’s the link. Go read it yourself. Go to the .gov website. Go to the actual government website where the law is listed, read it for yourself, come to your own conclusions.

Joaquin Juatai:    40:42    I’m telling you what I’m reading here, what it says, I’m telling you what the discussions with the department of justice 88 division, they have a hotline you can call and ask questions. I’ve done that multiple times, you know, so I put all of that together with stories and photos of the veterans who lived it. At the end of the book I have interviews with I believe five different veterans about how their PTSD service dog changed their lives or actually all five of them saved their lives. I do address veteran suicide in the book.  My own personal story and how that big lumps on the couch over there next to me saved my life literally. I talk about access at the VA in the book. That information has changed a little bit since the book was published.

Joaquin Juatai:    41:42    The VA came out with some updated policies. All that’s available. Anything you see in the book, if it seems like it might be out of date, I’ve probably updated it already on the PTSDog page. Have already written an article about it. I’m going to have to come out with a second edition with more up to date stuff. I talk about the fact that the ADA is a civil rights law and with the understanding that what it does is guarantee equality for disabled people. How using a registry, forcing disabled handlers to register their service dogs would be discriminatory. There’s a whole chapter on the service dog registry question. That’s an important question especially right now because there are people in the service dog community, veterans who are actively trying to take away the rights of disabled service dog handlers because there are people out there abusing the protection that we have and claiming that their pets are service dogs when they are not.

Joaquin Juatai:    42:49    Why are we going to punish the people who are doing it right for the actions of criminals. And there’s a real great parallel there with the second amendment, all these laws, all these gun laws, all the law-abiding people follow the gun laws and they’re not breaking any laws. The people who don’t follow the laws are the ones going out and shooting each other. How does making more laws and incriminating on the rights of lawful people stop criminals from doing what criminals do? The very definition of the word criminal is that they don’t follow the law. It’s simple logic, which apparently, you know, is beyond some people in today’s society. I guess. You don’t want to get me going on that soapbox because honestly, look what we’re looking at, and it’s a microcosm in the service dog community, what we’re looking at is people who want to sacrifice their liberty for a false sense of security.

Joaquin Juatai:    43:45    I could tell you that I have read the comments from multiple Canadian service dog handlers in provinces where they have a service dog registry and they say it doesn’t work. People claim their pets are service dogs all the time. They bully, they work their way in. They threatened us too, and the dogs completely misbehaved. And here I am following the law, jumping through the government’s hoops to register my dog and it hasn’t stopped the problem at all.

Scott DeLuzio:  And what advice would you have for maybe a business owner who is dealing with something like that where somebody who’s just coming in with their dog, their pet.

Joaquin Juatai:  Look the ADA specifically the sections about service dogs is a perfectly written law because it defines and guarantees protection of the rights of disabled people who handle service dogs.

Joaquin Juatai:    44:45    And then it defines the rights of the businesses and it says specifically when it is not obvious what tasks that dog is trained to perform, the business may ask two questions. One, is that a service dog trained to assist with a disability? And if the answer is yes, what tasks is that dog tasked perform? Now, any legit service dog handler, we’ll start rattling off a list of tasks. By the way, PTSD is not a task. Alerts me to changes in my condition that could be dangerous. Good definition of a task. Blocks creates personal boundaries for me. Helps lead me around, provides an alert. When I’m about to have an issue with my disability, that’s perfectly acceptable.  Now most of the people who are taking FIFI, the wonder poodle to the store, when they’re asked the first question will say yes.

Joaquin Juatai:    45:49    And when they’re asked the second question, have no clue and start blustering. The ADA then goes on to say that if a dog does not fulfill the definition of service dog, meaning it is not trained to perform work or tasks to assist with the handler or with a disability answers question number two, it is not under the handler’s control or if it is out of control. The handler’s not taking immediate effective action to regain control, which acknowledges that dogs are living beings and they can have bad days too and it gives the handler a chance to fix it or is not housebroken. So, if the dog is not trained, not task trained, not under control or not house broken, the business may ask that the animal be removed. The only restriction that the ADA puts on the business in regards to asking that animals be removed is that they still have to offer their services to the person.

Joaquin Juatai:    46:49    Ma’am, sir, I need you to take that dog out of here because it’s creating a problem and you are welcome to come back in. Perfect example of how business can handle it. Service dog shouldn’t be sitting at the table in the restaurant eating food from the owner’s plate. It should be on the floor, four on the floor, there are exceptions. A small dog might be carried so that it could be near its handler’s mouth if it’s diabetic. Alert dog. Okay, remember when you go to a restaurant and you have your service dog with you, who’s the customer? It’s not the dog, right? Service dogs shouldn’t be in carts at the grocery store. You can carry a dog small enough to be in the cart if it’s diabetic alert dog. Otherwise its feet need to be on the floor.

Joaquin Juatai:    47:35    Where do dogs walk on the ground? What’s on the ground? Dirt. Poop. God only knows. Why are you going to pick that up and put it in a cart where people put their food? Yeah, that’s a how much ruder and more entitled and self-important could you be? Businesses have the right to ask, “excuse me, I need you to remove your dog from the cart.” That is perfectly within the law. The law says in most instances, the dog should not be in the cart. There are exceptions. A perfect example, an autism alert dog trained to assist a child with autism. The child’s having a meltdown. The dog’s trying to alert to meltdown, the dog’s trying to apply deep pressure therapy. The best way to keep the child and the dog contained safely

Joaquin Juatai:    48:27    while you’re trying to get them out of the grocery store is to put the child in the cart, put the dog in the cart so the dog can calm the child. That’s a perfect example. I don’t know anybody unless they’re a complete heartless bastard who would say, no, you can’t do that. It’s obvious the dog is calming the child. And I don’t know if you’ve had an experience. I had two autistic stepsons that I can tell you in a full-blown autism meltdown it’s terrific. I mean, and not as in fantastic but as in terrible. It is a terrifying thing to witness. It’s scary for the children too. So, you know, there’s exceptions that the law says there are exceptions. Really the whole thing that I love the most about the ADA is that yes, it protects my rights, but it also explains that I have responsibility if I’m going to exercise that right, that responsibly being that my dog be trained, that my dog be under control, that my dog be house broken.

Joaquin Juatai:    49:36    And if my dog is not doing any of those things and groomed by the way, clean dog has to be clean, my dog’s not doing any of those things or just not doing one of those things, it’s my responsibility to either regain control or get them out of there. And so, it comes back to, entitlement versus responsibility. Are you going to be an entitled jerk and insist to see the manager and threatened to sue or are you going to pony up because you learned as you were training your dog that you’re responsible for its behavior? And the dog’s having a problem and you’re going to stand up, be responsible and either correct the dog, have removed the dog, try again the next day. You know, I’ve had days with Skater where he just wasn’t, he just wasn’t doing, he wasn’t feeling it. Whatever was going on.

Joaquin Juatai:    50:28    If he wasn’t maybe he wasn’t feeling very well, whatever, maybe the moon was full. I mean, just like people, they’re dogs, they’re living beings and some days they just are not there. They can’t do it.  I’ve gone into the store; I’ve seen that he wasn’t going to settle down and focus. And I’ve turned around and I’ve left and I’ve come back the next day because I make the choice to be responsible and not be a bad example. Well, the last dog that came in here did this and this and this and this, you know, and that’s it. You know? And that’s, man, I hate hearing that when I come in and somebody’s questioned, is that a service dog?  Well, the last dog became in here. Is this that dog, is this dog doing whatever that dog did? No. See you later. Talk to you later. Come on, come on. I’m not breaking the law.

Scott DeLuzio:    51:21    This is great information for the veterans who might be on the fence about whether or not they want to get a service dog. If they think that might be something that would help them with their condition. Great information for the businesses and the general public too who are just generally uneducated about the subject. Really great information. Where can people go to find out more information about what you’re doing and everything.

Joaquin Juatai:    51:50    A couple of places, I do not have a website right now. My web provider was horrible and I finally decided it was easier to just shut down the page and start shopping for a better provider than deal with that nonsense. So primarily my largest reach is on Facebook @PTSDog.  I also have a PTSD dog group on mewe.com/PTSDog, I think, I have a YouTube channel, just search PTSDog on YouTube where I do Facebook lives and I’ll upload them to the YouTube channel afterwards. And then there’s the service dog show. The service dog show is actually changing its name. Used to be the service dog show with PTSDog. It is now, I think just going to be the Service Dog Show because I hired a co-host.

Joaquin Juatai:    52:42    The service dog show airs Sundays at 8:00 PM on DV radio, WDVR. You can find that a couple of ways. You can go to DV radio.net or you can tune into the DV radio station on live 365 and a DV radio also does podcasts of all the shows. So, you can find the service dog show on the DV radio channel on Pod bean, Stitcher, iTunes, Google Play, pretty much anywhere. Pod bean is really cool because they disseminate podcast to a thousand platforms. If it’s a podcast platform, you probably find DV radio there. It’s a great distribution system. So, what else? I do have an Instagram. It’s PTSDog_Skater. I rarely ever use it. I hate it. I have a Twitter, also PTSDog again, rarely ever use it. I hate it. That’s about it. Primarily Facebook right now. Unfortunately, the platform is dying, but it’s still got the most reach.

Scott DeLuzio:    53:56    It does at least for the time being. Well that’s great. I’ll link to all of those locations in the show notes for the show and I’ll link to your book as well so that people know where to find it and how to get in touch with you if they want to get more involved or have questions about service dogs in general. Thank you very much for coming on and sharing what your knowledge and your background on the situation with service dogs.

Joaquin Juatai:    54:28    Thank you. It’s my pleasure. By the way, just to let the audience know, I do have a staff of moderators on the PTSDog page and we answer questions. They’re all disabled veterans, all service dog handlers. And if you have questions, please don’t hesitate to message the page and ask we’re there as close to 24/7 as we can be to answer those questions.

Scott DeLuzio:    54:49    That’s amazing that you have that kind of access and availability to have people moderating that and answering the questions around the clock. That’s great. All right, well thank you again and for anyone who’s listening, all those links that we talked about will be in the show notes, so feel free to check it out on DriveOnPodcast.com and you’ll be able to check out all the notes there and where to find the book, PTSDog, Post Traumatic Stress Disorder and the Service Dog. Thank you again.

Joaquin Juatai:    55:24    Thank you.

Scott DeLuzio:    55:32    Thanks for listening to the Drive On Podcast. If you want to check out more episodes or learn more about the show, you can visit our website, Drive OnPodcast.com we’re on Facebook, Twitter, and Instagram @DriveOnPodcast.

]]> 00:55:52 <![CDATA[Overcoming Mental Health Hurdles After Combat]]> Tue, 10 Dec 2019 01:00:21 +0000 Scott DeLuzio https://drive-on-podcast.castos.com/podcasts/2296/episodes/overcoming-mental-health-hurdles-after-combat Dave Pecirep was a combat veteran who struggled with his own mental health after returning home from Afghanistan. He spent some time getting his own mental health in order before eventually returning to college to get his Master’s in psychotherapy.

He’s since researched PTSD and traumatic brain injuries (TBI) with the Department of Veterans Affairs. He is now a psychotherapist in a private practice in the central Connecticut area treating adults and children who suffer with depression, anxiety, and bipolar.

Links & Resources

Transcript

Scott DeLuzio:    00:00    Hey everybody, this is the Drive On Podcast where we talk about issues affecting veterans after they get out of the military. I’m your host, Scott DeLuzio, and now let’s get on with the show.

Scott DeLuzio:  Hey everyone, thanks for tuning in to the Drive On Podcast. Before we get started, I wanted to take a minute to ask a quick favor from the listeners. So, the point of this show is to help veterans through sharing stories like the one we’re about to hear but it can’t really help if no one hears the story. So, if you wouldn’t mind, hit pause for a second and head on over to DriveOnPodcast.com/subscribe where you can find links to subscribe to and review the show on all of your favorite podcasting apps. And if you wouldn’t mind taking a second to share the podcasts on social media or email or whatever or even directly to a friend who you think might benefit by listening to the podcast, I’d really appreciate it. Today my guest is Dave Pecirep. Dave deployed to Afghanistan in 2006 and was wounded by an IED. After the deployment, he graduated college and went on to research PTSD and traumatic brain injuries with the Department of Veteran Affairs. Dave, welcome to the show. Why don’t you tell us a little bit about yourself, a little bit about your background and everything like that.

Dave Pecirep:    01:17    Thanks for having me first off.  I guess to put this within the confines of our conversation, I think we should probably start where I was originally wounded and then sort of work our way from there. So, it was 2006 and a little back story to that, I was in my senior year of college at University and the apex of both a social experience and the academic experience and the best of the four years.  I had been giving a great deal of thought too things. I’d already been on one deployment and it wasn’t what I had hoped it would be. I’d given a lot of thought, a lot of thought, walking around thinking, my God, I can’t believe I really haven’t gone yet.

Dave Pecirep:    02:08    And then people would find out you were in the service and they’d say, “Where have you been?” And my heart would just sink. So, finally towards the end of my senior year, stick it out through the senior year, graduate or my unit was going to get deployed. And if I went and signed a waiver, it was a done deal. You’re going to Afghanistan. So, I didn’t consult my parents. I knew that there’d be a big “no” from them.  I think everybody’s parents probably say a hard, no.  I signed, came home, told them and that was that.  Six months later or so, we’re in Afghanistan, I was infantry 11 Bravo, with the 110 2nd light infantry. And we went in with a 10th mountain and then we actually ended up getting attached to special forces group at this forward operation base in the Province

Dave Pecirep:    02:58    Afghanistan, right near a little town called . So, I’ve been there for some time. We went on a mission; I was in the turret of the third vehicle leaving this town and we got hit and I got hit. So, the whole thing was what you would imagine, pretty terrible. The people that were with the guys that were like the mid-range at NCO...

]]> full 28 false Dave Pecirep was a combat veteran who struggled with his own mental health after returning home from Afghanistan. He spent some time getting his own mental health in order before eventually returning to college to get his Master’s in psychotherapy.

He’s since researched PTSD and traumatic brain injuries (TBI) with the Department of Veterans Affairs. He is now a psychotherapist in a private practice in the central Connecticut area treating adults and children who suffer with depression, anxiety, and bipolar.

Links & Resources

Transcript

Scott DeLuzio:    00:00    Hey everybody, this is the Drive On Podcast where we talk about issues affecting veterans after they get out of the military. I’m your host, Scott DeLuzio, and now let’s get on with the show.

Scott DeLuzio:  Hey everyone, thanks for tuning in to the Drive On Podcast. Before we get started, I wanted to take a minute to ask a quick favor from the listeners. So, the point of this show is to help veterans through sharing stories like the one we’re about to hear but it can’t really help if no one hears the story. So, if you wouldn’t mind, hit pause for a second and head on over to DriveOnPodcast.com/subscribe where you can find links to subscribe to and review the show on all of your favorite podcasting apps. And if you wouldn’t mind taking a second to share the podcasts on social media or email or whatever or even directly to a friend who you think might benefit by listening to the podcast, I’d really appreciate it. Today my guest is Dave Pecirep. Dave deployed to Afghanistan in 2006 and was wounded by an IED. After the deployment, he graduated college and went on to research PTSD and traumatic brain injuries with the Department of Veteran Affairs. Dave, welcome to the show. Why don’t you tell us a little bit about yourself, a little bit about your background and everything like that.

Dave Pecirep:    01:17    Thanks for having me first off.  I guess to put this within the confines of our conversation, I think we should probably start where I was originally wounded and then sort of work our way from there. So, it was 2006 and a little back story to that, I was in my senior year of college at University and the apex of both a social experience and the academic experience and the best of the four years.  I had been giving a great deal of thought too things. I’d already been on one deployment and it wasn’t what I had hoped it would be. I’d given a lot of thought, a lot of thought, walking around thinking, my God, I can’t believe I really haven’t gone yet.

Dave Pecirep:    02:08    And then people would find out you were in the service and they’d say, “Where have you been?” And my heart would just sink. So, finally towards the end of my senior year, stick it out through the senior year, graduate or my unit was going to get deployed. And if I went and signed a waiver, it was a done deal. You’re going to Afghanistan. So, I didn’t consult my parents. I knew that there’d be a big “no” from them.  I think everybody’s parents probably say a hard, no.  I signed, came home, told them and that was that.  Six months later or so, we’re in Afghanistan, I was infantry 11 Bravo, with the 110 2nd light infantry. And we went in with a 10th mountain and then we actually ended up getting attached to special forces group at this forward operation base in the Province

Dave Pecirep:    02:58    Afghanistan, right near a little town called . So, I’ve been there for some time. We went on a mission; I was in the turret of the third vehicle leaving this town and we got hit and I got hit. So, the whole thing was what you would imagine, pretty terrible. The people that were with the guys that were like the mid-range at NCO’s real cool heads and they didn’t make it seem half as bad.  I mean, their reactions were pretty cool. And even in the position that I was in looking at it, I was like, okay, this isn’t as bad as I thought. They’re not freaking out; if the pilot’s not freaking out, we shouldn’t.

Dave Pecirep:    03:45    The extent of my injuries, the deeper details of all that, I ended up getting sent home and that was tough.  So, then begins like chapter two. So, all your friends and all the guys that you were close with, you love them, but you hate them, but you love them. They’re your unit. They’re gone. And I was at Brooks Army Medical Center in San Antonio, Texas. It’s a burn unit. The bigger portions of the things that I got hurt with were burns. So, I ended up there. Then the whole thing sort of becomes trying to reconcile what just happened.  Some confusion initially about how extensive my back injuries would be with regards to severity and length of it being a problem as will it be a lifelong thing here.

Dave Pecirep:    04:46    So, the girl that I was engaged to at the time, she left me at that point.  I was getting ready to write a Blues album. This was just going from bad to worse. After that they got me to a program which allowed me to come home a little bit faster than I think other people did. Other guys were there sitting in units, getting medical treatment, just going to appointments for like a year plus. I don’t know if they do that anymore like that but the worst thing you can do for mental health is just have somebody sit there and do nothing. That seems like a key ingredient is someone not feeling well. They’re already replaying things in their head more often than not.

Scott DeLuzio:    05:39    And just actually through the conversations that I’ve had on this podcast with other people who have broken through that funk that they were in, that’s clearly not a technical term but they came to the realization that just

Scott DeLuzio:    05:58    sitting there and dwelling on things is not going to help them and they need to do something and move on. So, that’s probably very similar to what you’re talking about.

Dave Pecirep:  Yeah, absolutely. And eventually there’ll be libraries of research, like research they can fill libraries on that one topic about how ineffective that is. So, I ended up getting out. I finished up college and then got my first “life out of the military job” at the West Haven, Connecticut, VA with a research group called and the acronym is prime P. R. I. M. E. and it’s complicated. It stands for Pain Research Informatics Medical Comorbidities Education Center.  So, I was involved as an administrative officer, organizing and helping set up studies and not one of the scientists though. That’s an important distinction.

Dave Pecirep:    07:07    The first move you got to make if I think I want to go in this direction. I come from a family of clinicians. My mother’s a clinician, my father is a surgeon. My sister’s a nurse, my other sister’s a therapist. So, medicine is big in the family and I grew up around it. So, that’s the first move you have to, get your foot in the door if you want to work somewhere that’s credible.  I went ahead and applied to grad school. So, from that sort of springboard and I went to CCSU and I think grad school in total was like just about five years. And I got a master’s of science in counselor education, which allows you to then become a psychotherapist, which is what I do now.

Dave Pecirep:    08:01    I’m in private practice and I’ve been in private practice for three years. So, the trajectory of being a patient and then going to the other side of the coin and taking care of the patient, I am constantly reminded of how impressively similar you are, even if you’re better now, like you can be like, “Oh yeah, yeah, yeah, I remember what that looked like. No, not all of it but yeah. I think it really does allow you to better serve those that you’re working with because you can, if not recognize, understand where they’re coming from when it comes to the major mental health stuff like major depression, post-traumatic stress disorder and just dealing with all of the comorbidities that come with trauma and comorbidities, I guess could more easily be said

Dave Pecirep:    09:13    it’s like all of the different issues that can come out than just the ones you think would be obvious. So, as a therapist, the therapy that I do, the one that I hang my hat on is cognitive behavioral therapy, which is linear and logical. And what’s great about it is if you really do have something to worry about, it’ll say you should start working. Whereas if you have nothing, you come up with nothing. It’s an excellent way of cross examine, very chaotic or catastrophic thoughts. And then people, especially guys, they like that. And I tell people in session, if you got something to worry about, I’ll tell you, I’ll tell you right now.  If you don’t; you don’t.

Dave Pecirep:    10:07    One other side piece of this and then I’ll kind of slow down.  Another really important contextual factor is when I came home my parents, being clinicians, took one look at me and they say, physically, you’re getting there but we’re worried about you. So, here’s the deal. You have to go see somebody.  I started seeing somebody in New Haven and I had gone through a bunch of different mental health professionals and I thought people are just fabricating in their mind a feel-good moment. But when they leave, there’s really no practical application, those sorts of things, right. Where you’re just like, “come on, this just is not for me.” I don’t want to sit in here and bang and drop in light some incense and not feeling like either way it’s either we fix the problem where we go.

Dave Pecirep:    11:01    And I ran into this guy who was ferociously intelligent and had a background in philosophy in undergrad. And the guy was just an all-star. And he happened to be like a pretty alpha guy, which was not what I had encountered yet. I thought everything this guy is saying is making sense. And he was a cognitive behavioral therapist and that’s really, I would say that was the one thing I could say takes the lion’s share for me being where I am today is to be able to go to that therapy and walk away and say not only does it work, I’m going to go do it.

Scott DeLuzio: That seems to make a ton of sense, too. You’ve seen it work firsthand; you’ve experienced the benefits of

Scott DeLuzio:    11:54    it and why not make that available to more people through the work that you do now.  That just makes a ton of sense.  Someone who does yoga or something and they lose a bunch of weight and they’re like this is amazing. Let’s go learn how to be a yoga instructor and teach more people or something like that.  It seems to make sense that you would follow along in a path like that to get to where you are today. Now the people that you work with, are they vets or is it more generalized or a mix of people that you work with now?

Dave Pecirep:    12:41    So, the private practice that I work with is general practice. I would say a third of my patients are adolescents and two thirds are adults. What would be the presentation of like a smattering of the public? So, nothing too exotic as far as mental health issues but certainly not veterans’ issues. It’s not something that I’m not going to eventually move closer to, but this is where I am right now.

Scott DeLuzio:    13:10    I think it’s important too. Some of the people have issues that might mirror some of the traumas that come through war.  Some of the traumas that you experienced in that many other soldiers that have experienced through war, whether it’s, car crashes or some other abuses or things like that. Some of those traumas could probably mirror some of the things that soldiers have experienced, as well.  So, it’s important to help everybody in a practice like yours and that makes a ton of sense to be able to help out the general population, too and not just focus on any one subset of the population.

Scott DeLuzio:    14:04    So, you talked about your experience going through, therapy and going to a couple people who just didn’t seem to quite get it. What was that experience like?  I know I’ve talked to a few people before who said that they went to a counselor and they didn’t seem like they were a good fit and they felt like they just wanted to throw their hands up in the air and quit on the therapy that they were doing. It just didn’t seem like it was working. What was your experience like with that?

Dave Pecirep:    14:41    Sounds similar to what you just described?

Dave Pecirep:    14:50    It’d be one of a couple of factors. One, you’d sit down, you’d look at this person, you go, “no, this isn’t somebody I’d share 10 minutes with outside, smoking a cigarette, let alone anything deep. And I guess that’s sort of judging a book by its cover but this isn’t going to happen. And then there’ll be another one that, well their approach would be like abrasive or like it just wasn’t right. I guess this is really simplifying this and I don’t know if it should be simplified at this point but it’s like Goldilocks and the food, this one’s too cold, this one’s too one of these things but more serious. It’s got to be the right fit. And then there were a few of them that almost seemed like they were upset or they got some sort of shift they weren’t pumped about and you’re like, “I’m not that pumped to be here either.”

Dave Pecirep:    15:51    I think the VA is a big organization and they’re trying to get this stuff right. But this is back in 2006-2007.  I wasn’t impressed and thank God I come from a background where my parents could say, look, you have to go, we’ll help, let’s go. I guess I’m not giving you as many details as you’d like as to particulars. Why or why not? It’s been a little bit of time but you know that expression, you don’t remember what they said to you, you remember how they made you feel?  And I don’t remember the particulars but I remember walking out of there and being like, “what world is this? What’s going on?”

Scott DeLuzio:    16:37    Okay. Well that does make sense.  I know from my own personal experience, I happened to get lucky on the first go. The first person I went to and talked to, we hit it off and he was able to help me out and work through some issues after I came back.  I’m eternally grateful for all this stuff.  I think just because I happen to have that good experience where I found somebody right away that was able to help me and that now, not only were they able to help me, they cared enough to be able to help and not to say that the other people don’t care, but you know, there’s varying degrees of  the level of service that you’re going to get in any kind of industry that you’re talking about.

Scott DeLuzio:    17:39    The same thing in the mental health industry. You’re going to have some people who are rock stars and some people who are just barely scraping by and you’re going to get the whole range there. So, you have to keep an open mind and not just give up on it because that first person you went to didn’t work out, like what happened with you and you went to somebody else and somebody else and eventually you found that person who resonated with you and you really clicked. I think that’s important for people to take away and understand that if you need to talk to somebody regardless of whether the fact that the first person that you’ve talked to was the right person, you’re still going to need to talk to somebody the next day or the next week or whatever. So, you can’t just give up, maybe that person’s not right but try somebody else, move on from that one person.

Dave Pecirep:    18:36    When I do my intakes, this is such a thing that I mentioned it in my intake. I say right around the middle, “by the way, this is an interview for you to check me out. If you walk out of here and you think, “no shot.” “Don’t worry about it. My feelings aren’t hurt. In fact, let me know. I’ll help you find someone else. So, don’t worry about me, this is all about you. And if this isn’t right, maybe I’ll remind you of someone that you hate. Don’t worry about it. I’ll help you find someone else, just let me know.”

Scott DeLuzio:    19:10    I’m glad that you do things like that and I’m sure there’s others out there who do similar things too but that’s really important to make sure that they feel comfortable talking to you because if they don’t feel comfortable, they’re not going to talk about it. They’re not going to give you that deep dive into their background and the issues that they’re experiencing. Those are deeply personal things that they’re going to be talking about, most likely. If they are not feeling comfortable that they’re just not going to open up the way you’re going to need them to.  The other thing that you mentioned and I thought it was really interesting was how your parents observed some issues that were going on with you and said, physically seems like you’re headed in the right direction.

Scott DeLuzio:    20:00    You’re getting back to where you need to be. But maybe mentally you need a little bit of help.  I think that is a huge thing to have that support of family or some sort of support network, whether it’s family, not everybody has family around that’s going to be able to point that stuff out, but friends, family, neighbors, coworkers, things like that. People who are able to point those things out and feel comfortable enough bringing them up to you. Is that something that you see with your patients, the people who come to you is like, “My wife told me that I haven’t been acting right or whatever and that’s why I’m here.”  Is that something that you typically see or is it more self-diagnosis, like, “Hey, I’m just not feeling right.”

Dave Pecirep:    21:02    I do see quite a few people who come in with reports from like their close family saying, something is different. So, could you be specific and here is X, Y and Z?  Anybody who sort of closely orbits that person is like a real asset and trying to understand the behavior of that person. So, there you’ve been with him for his whole life. What’s going on? Well, now he’s this, that and the other. And you would know it in such a way that someone who potentially orbit isn’t the right word, but someone who’s slightly, one or two more rungs removed may not be close enough to see. They’re truly an asset to lean on and to talk to as much as possible if the patient lets you.

Scott DeLuzio:    21:50    That’s really good. And do you incorporate those other people into your sessions when you talk to people or do you just rely on the fact that they gave them that nudge to start seeing you?

Dave Pecirep:    22:06    It’s case specific and when it’s determined that it would be beneficial, absolutely.  Sometimes for the kids, for adolescents, you don’t want to set up a scenario where you look like an additional parent.  You have the parent there, the kid’s there, I’m there and now we’re talking about the window got broken and we’re looking into it. What’s up? I might look like the other parents. So, I don’t like to bring in parents for that stuff. Because you want to be sure to remain clinical neutrality. You’re there for them and that’s it. You advocate for them. So, for adults, you can bring the family in sometimes, especially around substance abuse. I want to have some confrontation around that. You’re misremembering maybe but mom’s here, she’s saying that there’s a lot around that’s going to disappear around the house. And you were saying you don’t know what I’m talking about. So, how do we reconcile the two? And for something like that, you certainly need both parties in the room and it wouldn’t be like a cross examination. This is simply a case of who done it.

Scott DeLuzio:    23:22    In a lot of cases, you know but sometimes they need to hear that from multiple angles to come to be able to admit it on their own.  So, that’s probably good to have that outside force. But I know, through talking to other people that the family and those other relationships, those people, like you said, who are kind of like in that inner circle, the people who are closest to the individual are extremely beneficial to being able to point out when things seem like they’re not going right. I think from a mental health perspective and I’m not a therapist or counselor, I’m not trained in any of this at all but

Scott DeLuzio:    24:12    I would think having those relationships, any close relationships, maybe you don’t have a great family relationship with your parents or your siblings or whatever. But if you have close relationships with somebody who is going to be willing to call you out when it seems like there’s an issue and help you get the help that you need, I think ultimately has been beneficial. And I know the reason why I’m bringing this up is because I know that there are some people who push other people away when they start to question about how are you feeling? How are you doing all that? All those types of questions, they start to push those people away because they don’t really want to face those issues.

Scott DeLuzio:    25:03    But by facing them, they are ultimately going to get better. Hopefully going to get better. And I don’t see there being any downside to facing these issues, necessarily. I could be wrong with some of that. But I think my point is having those close relationships is a good thing. And if you’re listening to this and you’re one of those people who feel like you need to push people away because they are questioning how you’re doing and everything, I think you’d need to reevaluate that a bit and embrace some of those relationships. I don’t know, hopefully I’m not leading people in the wrong direction. I will let the person who’s a little more qualified to talk about that confirm or talk a little bit more about that.

Dave Pecirep:    26:00    I applaud you for pointing this out and I would highlight it. Look, if you’re already starting to be in isolationist behavior. It’s like boom, the first light goes off. It’s like, all right, fine, something’s up. And as a friend, I think because we love the person and because there’s an intimacy between friends and certainly you also want to know what’s up and how can you help. And I think as beautiful as a sentiment that is, I would caution and probably just say as the friend, I’m not the counselor. Let’s not, you and I hash it all out. What I will do as the friend is get you to go to somebody; don’t be the therapist.

Dave Pecirep:    26:54    Clearly you don’t feel well; you don’t have to say anything to me, let’s just go though, I’ll take you or whatever. Or like, let’s keep talking about this is a possibility. That’s like shots of B-12. Because that can make things tough for someone who’s trying to play a role there and I think appropriately, it’s the friend trying to get you help, not the friend trying to be the help. And I think there’s a major distinction and one is very unqualified. And even if you are qualified, it’s still sometimes like, “Whoa, I’m not sure here. Like the right answer is not readily available. What is this?”

Scott DeLuzio:    27:32     And you might be too close to the situation, too. And you might have some blinders on and especially if like you’re saying, if you are qualified, you may not be the best person to talk to this person. So, that does make sense. I’m glad you confirmed that and not that I need the ego boost that I was right or anything like that to mention that but I’m glad that it made sense to somebody who does know what they’re talking about and not just some guy who runs podcasts.

Dave Pecirep:    28:17    You are right on the money.

Scott DeLuzio:    28:18    So, what other kind of advice would you give to let’s just say a vet, somebody comes back from Afghanistan or Iraq, wherever they’re at and they come back and they’re having some issues, whether it’s at home or with drinking or drugs or whatever.

Scott DeLuzio:    28:45    What kind of advice, outside of just go talk to somebody, what kind of advice would you have to give to them about that?

Dave Pecirep:    28:57    So, first what I would say is, of course, you have to start seeing somebody but that’s not enough. There has to be a few other things here. And one thing that I was always impressed by when I worked at a rehab facility for my clinicals for two years and I did a lot of group work and you’d get guys in for individual one on one therapy and you may have a great 55 minutes and sometimes you didn’t, you put 15 guys in the room with the same issue and then you run the group and then you of back off. They became eight out of 10 times a stronger change agent for each other than I did standing there and talking to them with a whiteboard. So, when I think of guys coming home, I’d say, look, go get into group. Even if there’s some old timer Vietnam and stuff like that, they’re still going to be some parallels. You want to be around guys that are similar So that you’re not walking around thinking I’m going crazy. I’m the only guy out here because you’re not. And those guys are such a strong change agent for each other. Much more effective than one on one therapy and augment it with one on one therapy if you can and you should.

Dave Pecirep:    30:19    In addition to that, I mean if it’s something more serious, if there’s lethality involved in it, then I’d say you want to go inpatient and you want to have friends and family push you to that. But that’s where it goes to. And if it goes there, by the way, it’s not good. It’s not bad. No, it’s not ethical. It’s not unethical. It’s just the appropriate treatment for the problem. Just like a big wound requires stitches or diabetics have to take a med. There’s so much stigma wrapped around these, “Oh, well, I don’t want to get help like that because don’t worry about it.” It’s just the right, it’s what the doctor ordered for that. That’s it.  I wouldn’t spin your wheels thinking about what this mean about me? Nothing. It just means like the appropriate dosage for the appropriate issue.

Scott DeLuzio:    31:03    Yeah, no, that makes a lot of sense. I think that group settings that you were talking about earlier is really good too and I think for partially for the same reasons that we were talking about not to push people away and things like that is you have a group of people that perhaps are likeminded or at least going through the same issues or similar issues I should say and that helps people know that they’re not alone in whatever issues they’re struggling with. What would you say about, not necessarily from a therapy standpoint, but you get out of the military, you’re used to the last five, 10, 15, 20 years or whatever you were in the military and used to spending time with a bunch of other grunts in the military, and then you all of a sudden get out and now you’re living a civilian life, you’re working a civilian job, you’re going to civilian stores, you’re not going to the PX or whatever on base or whatever.

Scott DeLuzio:    32:11    You’re in civilian life. What would you think in terms of joining a veteran organization, like the VFW or American Legion or things like that in terms of the comradery that you have? Do you think that that might help boost or at least make it a little bit easier to transition into civilian life being a part of a group of other like-minded kind of individuals?

Dave Pecirep:    32:49    Unequivocally, yes.

Scott DeLuzio:  Yeah. Awesome.  I think so.  Echoing a lot of the reasons for what we were just saying about a group as well. We actually had someone from the VFW on the show a couple of weeks ago and we’re talking a little bit about people getting out and having that struggle of just jumping right into civilian life, even though we all were civilians at one point; we get rewired a little bit in the military and we don’t think like civilians anymore.  So, getting back into a group of people who are likeminded in one of those veteran type organizations makes sense

Scott DeLuzio:    33:44    to feel like you still have that connection with people who are likeminded.   We’re coming up on time here as far as the length of the episode but I have one last question that I like to ask everybody before wrapping up. The question is, “before you joined the military, is there anything that you wish someone would have told you, either about what the experience would have been like or what to expect in a combat environment and you can answer this seriously or with a joke combination of the two; it doesn’t matter. There’s no wrong answer. We’ve had all sorts of answers to this question. Is there anything that you wished someone would have told you before you joined?

Dave Pecirep:    34:42    That’s a good question. I have nothing clever here to state. I mean, other than, my estimation of how difficult it would be; I didn’t realize it could be as tough as it was but I’m here. Here’s what I wish someone had told me. You’re about to get an education for which there’s no tuition.

Scott DeLuzio:  Yeah, that is very true. As a matter of fact, you get paid to go get this education for college tuition.  And I actually remember in basic training, sitting there on the 50 Cal range, letting it rip and thinking to myself, they’re actually paying me to do this. This is amazing.

Dave Pecirep:    35:35    Exactly.

Scott DeLuzio:  So, all right. Any last things that you want to add that maybe we didn’t talk about or any way that people might be able to get in touch with you if they want more information or anything like that?

Dave Pecirep:  No, that is pretty much it on my end.  Thanks a million for having me on; it was a lot of fun. I was a little nervous and I wasn’t sure how this was going to go.

Scott DeLuzio:  I’m glad you did it.

Dave Pecirep:  Thank you. Absolutely.

Scott DeLuzio:  All right. Thank you.

Scott DeLuzio:    36:11    Thanks for listening to the Drive On Podcast. If you want to check out more episodes or learn more about the show, you can visit our website, DriveOnPodcast.com we’re on Facebook, Twitter, and Instagram @DriveOnPodcast.

]]> 00:36:31 <![CDATA[Army Mom on Post Traumatic Stress and Suicide]]> Tue, 03 Dec 2019 01:00:00 +0000 Scott DeLuzio https://drive-on-podcast.castos.com/podcasts/2296/episodes/army-mom-on-post-traumatic-stress-and-suicide Valerie Pallotta is an Army mom, whose son Josh deployed to Afghanistan in 2010. After returning home, Josh suffered with Post Traumatic Stress for several years. Unfortunately he lost that battle in 2014.

Valerie talks about that battle and what she’s been doing now to help make sure other veterans have the resources they need to get through their own struggles.

Her number one piece of advice if you notice a loved one is struggling with post traumatic stress is to ask their friends to reach out to them. Often times the individual won’t want to talk about their troubles with a spouse, a parent, or other family. They may be more willing to talk to a friend about it though.

Links & Resources

Transcript

Scott DeLuzio:    00:03    Thanks for tuning in to the Drive On Podcast where we talk about issues affecting veterans after they get out of the military. Before we get started, I’d like to ask a favor if you haven’t done so already, please rate and review the show on Apple podcasts. If you’ve already done that, thank you. These ratings help the show get discovered so it can reach a wider audience and while you’re there, click the subscribe button so that you get notified of new episodes as soon as they come out. If you don’t use Apple podcasts, you can visit DriveOnPodcasts.com/subscribe to find other ways of subscribing, including our emails. I’m your host Scott DeLuzio and now let’s get on with the show.

Scott DeLuzio:    00:44    Hey everyone. Today my guest is Valerie Pallotta:. Valerie’s son Josh served with my brother Steven in the Vermont Army National Guard. Josh was deployed to Afghanistan in 2010 and upon returning home he struggled with some physical injuries as well as post-traumatic stress. Valerie is here today to talk with us about some of the struggles her son went through and what she’s doing now to help other veterans who are struggling the way Josh did. Valerie, I’m truly grateful that you’re willing to share your story. Welcome to the show.  Why don’t you tell us a little bit about yourself and your son, Josh.

Valerie Pallotta:    01:20    Thanks Scott. I really appreciate being here and the time you’ve given me to talk about Josh. As you said, I’m Josh’s mom.

Valerie Pallotta:    01:33    I don’t know if you want me to talk a little bit about his background and growing up but he was a pretty determined kid ever since he was little. He started to ride his bike and he spent all day learning how to ride his bike. He actually mastered it in one day. He was pretty determined in high school. He wanted to play lacrosse and they didn’t have a lacrosse team at the high school he was in. So, he and I went to the athletic director and got the approval to start a lacrosse team and they said you just need to come up with the names of kids to play and here’s how many kids you need. And he said, okay, I can do it. And he went and did it and we went to the Superintendent and then he approved it.

Valerie Pallotta:    02:18    Colchester High School had the lacrosse team and he was just pretty determined and s...

]]> full 27 false Valerie Pallotta is an Army mom, whose son Josh deployed to Afghanistan in 2010. After returning home, Josh suffered with Post Traumatic Stress for several years. Unfortunately he lost that battle in 2014.

Valerie talks about that battle and what she’s been doing now to help make sure other veterans have the resources they need to get through their own struggles.

Her number one piece of advice if you notice a loved one is struggling with post traumatic stress is to ask their friends to reach out to them. Often times the individual won’t want to talk about their troubles with a spouse, a parent, or other family. They may be more willing to talk to a friend about it though.

Links & Resources

Transcript

Scott DeLuzio:    00:03    Thanks for tuning in to the Drive On Podcast where we talk about issues affecting veterans after they get out of the military. Before we get started, I’d like to ask a favor if you haven’t done so already, please rate and review the show on Apple podcasts. If you’ve already done that, thank you. These ratings help the show get discovered so it can reach a wider audience and while you’re there, click the subscribe button so that you get notified of new episodes as soon as they come out. If you don’t use Apple podcasts, you can visit DriveOnPodcasts.com/subscribe to find other ways of subscribing, including our emails. I’m your host Scott DeLuzio and now let’s get on with the show.

Scott DeLuzio:    00:44    Hey everyone. Today my guest is Valerie Pallotta:. Valerie’s son Josh served with my brother Steven in the Vermont Army National Guard. Josh was deployed to Afghanistan in 2010 and upon returning home he struggled with some physical injuries as well as post-traumatic stress. Valerie is here today to talk with us about some of the struggles her son went through and what she’s doing now to help other veterans who are struggling the way Josh did. Valerie, I’m truly grateful that you’re willing to share your story. Welcome to the show.  Why don’t you tell us a little bit about yourself and your son, Josh.

Valerie Pallotta:    01:20    Thanks Scott. I really appreciate being here and the time you’ve given me to talk about Josh. As you said, I’m Josh’s mom.

Valerie Pallotta:    01:33    I don’t know if you want me to talk a little bit about his background and growing up but he was a pretty determined kid ever since he was little. He started to ride his bike and he spent all day learning how to ride his bike. He actually mastered it in one day. He was pretty determined in high school. He wanted to play lacrosse and they didn’t have a lacrosse team at the high school he was in. So, he and I went to the athletic director and got the approval to start a lacrosse team and they said you just need to come up with the names of kids to play and here’s how many kids you need. And he said, okay, I can do it. And he went and did it and we went to the Superintendent and then he approved it.

Valerie Pallotta:    02:18    Colchester High School had the lacrosse team and he was just pretty determined and stubborn. He was a very stubborn person but he really struggled. He struggled in high school a lot. He was pretty smart, very, very intelligent but he was very lazy. So, that affected him throughout his early adult life. He barely graduated from high school. He was very unorganized. Once he graduated high school, he was trying to decide what he wanted to do with his life. College was not really in the cards for him. Even though he attempted, homework wasn’t a thing that he wanted to do. So, it just didn’t happen. So, we actually told him if he didn’t find a job that he needed to move out and we gave him three months of a deadline of when he needed to move out and he didn’t find a job. He ended up moving out and living with a friend and then he ended up getting a job at TSA doing airport security. And actually, that’s where he met people who were in the guard and he met Erin Twitchell and he decided that he wanted to join because he knew they were going to Afghanistan. So that’s, in a nutshell, how we got from there to here with his military service.

Scott DeLuzio:    04:16    So let’s get to the point right before he was deployed. So, when he was deployed, you and your family got involved with the parent network with the unit that he was deployed with which I’d imagine a lot of parents were involved with at the time. Then you found your way into an organization called the Blue Star Mothers of America.

Valerie Pallotta:    04:49    So, what happened with that is, Josh is our only child so I freaked out when he said he was going to join. I knew he was going to Afghanistan and of course I was very proud and then very scared. So, the Guard had a lot of resources and one of them was the parent network as you mentioned. And it was strictly parents in this group. There were no spouses because parents have different issues than spouses do when their children are in the service. So, it was a really good support network. And out of that, there was a group of us moms who really wanted to do something to give back and support our boys when they came home. And I did a lot of research to see what we could do.

Valerie Pallotta:    05:46    That’s where we found Blue Star Mothers of America. And then through that we realized that Vermont did not have a chapter, so we chartered the first Blue Star Mothers of Vermont chapter. I was the chartering president and I was involved for quite a few years. So, that’s how that came about. We would do a lot of financial support for emergency support for veterans and supporting Gold Star families. There were a couple of veteran transitional housing facilities here in Vermont in the area and we would support them by providing meals and things like that once a month for veterans and Christmas and holiday gatherings. So, that’s the whole parent network, Blue Star Mothers. That’s how that evolved.

Scott DeLuzio:    06:40    Awesome. I think that is an important thing to note too for other parents who might be listening to this who have their adult children who are being deployed in the military involved with it knowing that there are support groups for the parents out there too because it’s not an easy thing to see your child go off as an adult to war and to have to go through all that.

Valerie Pallotta:    07:11    Well one of the things about Blue Star Mothers though is that we were so limited on our time and our availability that we had to narrow the purpose and the focus of Blue Star Mothers to just financial support and actually less of emotional support. So, I know that they’ve been talking about offering another parent group for emotional support for parents. So, I can look into that too. But right now, that was really what their focus now is providing that financial support for veterans’

Valerie Pallotta:    07:54    and they have a pet program for veterans. Terry Sabans is a Pet Program Coordinator and she has paired up pets, mainly dogs with veterans who are struggling. It’s been a pretty good program.

Scott DeLuzio:    08:10    Okay. That’s a lot of support. I know you said you had to tone it back a little bit and scale it down. But that’s still a lot of support going into that network for the veterans and everyone who’s involved there. So, that’s still pretty awesome. Let’s fast forward a little bit in time here. So, we were talking a little bit about your involvement with the group before the deployment and during the deployment. But let’s fast forward to August of 2010. So, at this point, Josh and the unit that he was with in the Vermont National Guard. He’s in Afghanistan and something pretty terrible happens. So, my brother Steven and Tristan Southworth were killed on the 22nd of August. And I know that day affected a lot of people. Obviously, it affected me and my family. But also, the people who were there, the soldiers who were there that day it certainly affected them. How did that day, it’s probably not just one day but it was probably a culmination of things that happened throughout the entire deployment affect Josh?

Valerie Pallotta:    09:38    Well as you know, from other soldiers who were there, it

Valerie Pallotta:    09:47    affected him in a really pretty bad way. He was pretty involved when Steven and Tristen were killed. Josh had never known death before. He turned 21 in April of 2010. So, he was fairly young. He had only known one person really who was sort of close to him, but not really. When he was in high school, he was a freshman and he played football and there was a senior student who was playing football and I guess he took him under his wing and helped him out at the gym and he ended up dying in a car accident. And Josh didn’t really know him more than that piece of the gym and things like that but he cut out his obituary and he hung it on his wall and he left it there. When Steven and Tristan were killed, he never got over that. Never, I mean he’s gone now and it was just

Valerie Pallotta:    11:10   something that he just could not get out of his memories, out of his dreams, his nightmares. He sought help after; he was seeing a counselor and I think the survivor’s guilt was really bad with him. I mean it’s affected me too, obviously. I mean, this was a very horrific time as you know, and you just don’t get over that.

Scott DeLuzio:    11:53    Yeah, absolutely.  And you know, by saying it was a horrific time is certainly accurate. Were there stages that he went through when he got back, did you notice different stages? I know that a lot of times people talk about different stages of grief and things like that people might go through but did he experience things all at once or was there some sort of process that he went through stages that you went through?

Valerie Pallotta:  It was pretty much stages that you went through. He was still living in his apartment when he got home and he had a job that he was going to for a little bit of time. And then a few months went on and he would have to get up to be at the airport for 5:00 AM and he was living with some roommates who party until 5:00 AM.

Valerie Pallotta:    12:52    So, that was not a very good situation for him. So, he moved out of there and moved back home and then he started not sleeping so he wouldn’t get up for work. And my husband changed his hours at work and started working from home so he could actually get Josh up in the morning to just help him get in the shower and just get out of bed. Then we ended up asking him to move out again because he lost his job at TSA after he called out 54 times or something like that. They tried to help him. There are a lot of veterans who work there.  I don’t know if he’s a manager, what his position is, but Bruce McDonald is a veteran himself and they tried to give him a lot of support services and things like that and he just wasn’t getting through. So, he lost his job and then moved out of the house and he had a girlfriend at the time. He met her on leave when he was on leave in June. And he ended up moving into an apartment or in a shared house with my nephew and his wife. And then my nephew and his wife bought a house, so, they moved out and here Josh was with his girlfriend and this huge old historic house with no job.

Valerie Pallotta:    14:29    He actually wanted to borrow money from us and asked me and I told him no thinking that tough love would help.

Valerie Pallotta:    14:42    It went for nine months where my son wouldn’t talk to me.  I thought tough love would be the thing and would help him. And I said, Blue Star Mothers is out there and there are a lot of other agencies you can apply for assistance. And it was a very volatile time with he and I and we never recovered that before he ended his life. So, he ended up getting another job. He was still talking to my husband. He got another job. He moved, broke up with his girlfriend and he moved to Burlington. He got an apartment in Burlington and he found a job making sandwiches. And he absolutely loved the job.  He could walk to work. He told my husband, he said, “Dad, I’m making sandwiches. And I love it.” It’s like I’m washing floors, I’m making sandwiches. And he was just so proud. And then he could walk to work. He had a great relationship with the other people in the apartment building and then the place that he was working at closed.

Valerie Pallotta:    15:55    So when you talk about stages, I mean, he was not doing well. He got better. He told my husband, he said, “every time I take a step forward, something happens and I take three steps back.” So, it was a combination of losing his job, the girlfriend thing I think was a good thing but it was a number of things that just piled up.

Scott DeLuzio:    16:27    It probably gave him that feeling of like what you might expect being in quicksand. It’s like you feel like you’re making progress but then you’re slowly slipping back and almost feels like no matter how hard you’re struggling, no matter how much you’re doing, you’re not ever really making progress. Even though you are doing the things that you’re supposed to be doing to make those steps but then you don’t quite feel like you’re getting there. So, let’s fast forward a little bit to September of 2014. So, at that time, he’s been struggling for a few years with various things like you talked about losing a job and figuring out places to live and the money situation and all that. In September of 2014, Josh loses his battle with post-traumatic stress.

Scott DeLuzio:    17:43    As a parent myself, I can’t imagine how tremendously difficult something like that must be. As a parent, to see your child struggle, trying to help them out in every way that you can, pointing them in the right direction and then seeing that culmination and what happens there. Anyone could completely shut down after going through something like that as a parent, but that’s not really what you did, ultimately. You went on and you’ve been working what seems to me anyways tirelessly trying to help other veterans to not end up in that same situation. I’d love to talk to you a little bit about what you’re doing now and the fund that you’ve created and all the other things that you’ve been involved with to help veterans. So, maybe we could start with the fund and what that’s all about.

Valerie Pallotta:    18:53    Sure. So just to step back just a little bit when he found out about his job closing, they had a work party on Sunday and on Tuesday morning at 2:50 AM is when he killed himself. So, it was just three days after he found out that the place was closing. So, it was the struggles and the stages went on for the four years and it was like that last straw was losing that job.

Scott DeLuzio:    19:36    Right. It seems like that one event in and of itself may not have been so disastrous but it was all those things adding up. It was like that last straw that broke the camel’s back type of thing.

Valerie Pallotta:    19:53    So, because of my work with Blue Star Mothers, I was pretty well known in the community and people after Josh died, they just started donating money to Blue Star Mothers and people wanted to do something; it touched everybody.  They just wanted to give back. So, they started donating money and our Blue Star Mothers put the money in a separate account and kept it separate. Then it got to the point where there was a lot of money and it was too much just still be held in Blue Star Mothers. So, my husband and I said we need to do something. I had done a lot of research on PTSD and veteran suicide even before Josh joined the Guard because I have a background in aroma therapy and I really wanted to support service members and veterans with post-traumatic stress back then.

Valerie Pallotta:    20:54    So, we just wanted to do something. I had always had this vision of complimentary therapies, complimentary healing modalities for post-traumatic stress. So, we had that piece and then we just started talking to veterans and asking them what would have helped Josh and what would help them. And the ones we talked to said we just want a place to hang out and be together and play video games. And that was it. Especially with veterans in the guard because they don’t have a military base. They’re one weekend a month, two weeks out of the summer and that’s it. And they’ve gone from, as you know, they’ve gone from this year long, 24/7 together deployment to go back to nothing. And that was one of Josh’s biggest problems was he lost that brotherhood. He didn’t have that connection.

Valerie Pallotta:    22:01    Because of his physical injuries, he had gained so much weight that he couldn’t work out. He was 300 pounds when he died, 280-290, something like that. I think it was 300. So, we decided that what we wanted to do was hold onto the money and just start raising money and find this space that veterans could come to get the wellness piece with aroma therapy, chiropractic, massage, yoga. All of the things that are coming out now as showing to be beneficial for post-traumatic stress and the things that doctors and your insurance isn’t covering it. Tri-Care doesn’t cover it. The VA, I have to say the VA is coming out with some of these programs and they are doing things like this now but there are a lot of veterans who don’t want to go to the VA.

Valerie Pallotta:    22:57    So we want to offer an alternative for them if they don’t choose to go to the VA. Then there’s the recreational side of it. So, let’s have a game room and a video room and a pool table and a gym and things like that where they can just come and distress and be together. And then we took it a little further and said, there are veterans who are going back to school. They’ve got little kids running around. They don’t really have a place that’s quiet to study. So, why don’t we set up some study rooms in this place. So, we decided that we just wanted to put together a wellness rec center and then have a community kitchen for them to have meals. It’s frustrating because as you know, the statistics are 20 to 22 veteran suicides a day and that’s just documented.

Valerie Pallotta:    23:56    I think it’s higher than that. I think the fact that people are still out there raising awareness of veteran suicide is archaic. I think we have to start doing something about it. People know about veteran’s suicide; so, let’s start asking what they want. I mean, they might not even know. And I think the problem is that veterans aren’t talking about it, especially with active duty soldiers because there’s still a stigma of being demoted and being ridiculed if you talk about having a problem. And I just don’t understand. It’s just very frustrating to me that that’s still an issue.

Scott DeLuzio:    24:44    There’s probably still a little bit of the old school mentality of just suck it up, be a man, “deal with it” kind of thing. And the support that you would hope is there is not quite where it should be. Now I’m sure it’s getting better in that regards. We’re at a place where people are aware with the awareness piece that you’re talking about. People are more aware that there are problems that people are going through and no one wants to see another soldier, another Marine, Airman, Sailor, anything like that hurt themselves or do things that are not going to help them but sometimes people just don’t know what to do. Having a space like this that you guys have created is really a step in the right direction.

Scott DeLuzio:    25:51     I think more things like this should be done. Obviously, you’re in the Vermont area and so that’s great for the Vermont soldiers but there are soldiers all over the country that are looking for things like this. I actually spoke on the podcast a few weeks ago to someone who was from the VFW. And one of the things that the VFW offers is that comradery. Being able to get together with those like-minded people. And you know, maybe it’s not necessarily, playing video games or whatever. Although I don’t know, maybe they have that as well but there are organizations out there that allow veterans to come together with other veterans.

Valerie Pallotta:    26:44    But there’s a stigma with that because a lot of the younger veterans think that those VFWs are old curmudgeon veterans who just sit around and want to compare war events. And my husband and I are our members of the VFW here at the local VFW and the Legion here in Vermont. And there are a few younger veterans from Joshua’s unit who come. And that’s it. They love to go. They go every Friday night. And I think that stigma’s there though. And that’s what the VFWs want to do. They want to provide that space. But that’s another thing that needs to change is that mentality that it’s just a place for the old Vietnam vets who just sit there and get drunk at 10 in the morning. Yes, there are some of those, but they do a lot of good here anyway.

Scott DeLuzio:    27:32    Right? Yeah. And that’s what we talked about. I’ll link to that episode in the show notes too for anyone who’s listening, who wants to listen to that episode and hear what the VFW is all about; what they’re doing and what their mission is. They do other things to not just provide a of community space, they advocate on behalf of veterans for different legislation and things like that. And it’s really a great organization to dip your toe in the waters of getting back into that kind of community. It’s not the drinking club of our grandparents’ era or whatever. Although, like you said, there’s a little bit of that still goes on. But there are the younger generations that are participating in the VFW as well and the other veteran service organizations that are out there. They accept everybody so age is not an issue necessarily with that. So, you started the Josh Palotta fund and you created this safe space for these veterans to come to with other veterans and things like that.

Valerie Pallotta:    28:58    We created the vision for the space. We don’t have the space yet. We’re working on that. That’s a money issue so we’re in negotiations right now with an owner of a building that is actually in the old VA space in Colchester, Vermont, and the Fort. We had looked many times into purchasing a place or building a new place. And it was about a million dollars. So, a couple of things, we’re looking at this space, we’re in negotiations to lease it. Upstairs is already a tenant in there who is, I always screw up the name, but it’s the Vermont center for first responder wellness or Vermont responder wellness center. I can get it mixed up, but he’s Sunny Forbeto. He is doing exactly what we want to do but he does it for first responders and police officers and he’s a former police officer. He’s got a yoga studio up there.

Valerie Pallotta:    30:01    He does EMDR, he does biofeedback and he provides these services free to police and first responders and now he’s starting to offer it to veterans. We’re in this stage but I also want to start figuring out some sort of a mentoring program for veterans so that they can help other veterans. I also wanted to look at some sort of income generating business that can help sustain the center. I don’t want to charge veterans or maybe we will charge a small membership fee or something like that but it’s not ready yet, but I’m hoping that we’re going to open it up in the beginning of the year. Mid-year, probably. There’s a lot of work that needs to be done to it so we don’t have the space yet but we’re getting there, Scott.

Scott DeLuzio:    30:57    So anyone who’s listening to this, I’m going to have a link to the fund’s website and on the website there is a place that you can send donations and send all your donations to the fund to help get this kickstarted and move it in the right direction. Shortly after Josh died, you also went down to Washington to testify before the Senate committee on Veterans affairs. Would you talk a little bit about that? What it was that you were testifying on and what the legislation was that was involved with that?

Valerie Pallotta:    31:48    Yeah. So, I didn’t know at the time what the legislation was for that I was going to be testifying for. And it was actually the Clay Hunt Act and I’m going to screw this up because I still don’t know a lot about it, but Clay Hunt was a veteran who was an advocate who started a retreat program for veterans who are struggling with post-traumatic stress and he ended up ending his life, also. It has to do and I’m going to screw this up so I probably shouldn’t even start talking about it but I’m going to screw it up. I got the call from Bernie Sanders’ office because I was in the news here, the local news about Josh’s suicide and this Clay Hunt’s mom Susan Sulkie was starting this bill for veterans.

Valerie Pallotta:    32:53    Bernie’s office called me and asked me if I could go testify. And, of course, it was eight weeks out of Josh’s death. So, and I had never flown alone before, which I know it sounds crazy, but I don’t fly much. I don’t ever go anywhere. And I flew alone and it was interesting because General Cray, the former Adjutant General of the Vermont National Guard was my seatmate and he was going down to DC for something else. After playing around with my seat the night before and messing around with it and then having General Cray sitting right next to me, I think that my boy was probably had his hand in that because I had his ear from Burlington to DC. So it was, it was actually a good thing. I think one of the things that I found out from that conversation was when I had talked about one of the things that I think is needed is that there needs to be more deprogramming when veterans come back from deployment. And what I was told was we don’t have time. We are already training for the next mission. And I think that’s wrong. That needs to be changed at a legislative level. And that is one of the next things I’ll do once we get Josh’s house built is to advocate to have a change at the legislative level of these men and women need time to decompress and

Valerie Pallotta:    34:42    deprogram and it’s not happening. It’s constant, mission-focused. When Josh and their unit came back, Josh told me flat out, mom, they asked me if I thought I had PTSD. Do you think I’m going to admit that I have PTSD? Of course, I do. I don’t want to go to Fort Drum, I want to go home. They’re not going to admit it, you know what I mean? That’s just the stupid way to do it. And then they did a Yellow Ribbon event which was great.  You’ve got guys who have been together for a year and they don’t see each other for three months and then they put them together in a room and give them PowerPoint presentations. Granted, that’s great information, but that needs to change. They don’t want that after three months of being apart. They’re all out drinking.

Scott DeLuzio:    35:38    I know from my own experience and obviously, my experience is a little bit different than the other people who I had deployed with because I came home on a little bit earlier after my brother was killed. But

Scott DeLuzio:    35:56    going to the Yellow Ribbon Program and sitting through those PowerPoint presentations, I’m thinking to myself, we have a group of guys here who just spent a year away from their families and now we’re going to steal their weekend and sit them in front of a presentation on all this other stuff. Tri-Care and all these other things that’s going in one ear and out the other. Essentially, they’re thinking they want to go spend time with their family or go hang out with their friends or whatever it is that they want to do. The people that they haven’t seen very much in the last year, I think they’d probably rather go and do that. Unfortunately, it’s very well intentioned; I just don’t think it’s very well executed.

Scott DeLuzio:    36:46    And you know, it definitely could use some work in that regards to have a better execution on that. I don’t have the answer for that.

Valerie Pallotta:    36:57    I do.

Scott DeLuzio:    36:58    Oh, okay. I’d love to hear it.

Valerie Pallotta:    37:02    So, my answer to that is that you let them come home, they get three weeks off, a month off, whatever it may be, and then they go back to their units and they do a 7-3 job, especially with the guard because, unless they’re on orders, they’re back to their civilian jobs. They’re on vacation for three months or whatever. I think what needs to happen is they need to be reintegrated back into that military lifestyle but you treat it as active duty orders and it’s a job from 7-3, 8-4 and then you go and you do PT, you have some counseling if you need it but then you go home to your families at night, right? And you do all these things to be compressed. You do the EMDR, you do the biofeedback, you do the counseling, we do the PT, do yoga, you do all of these things. But you teach these things before deployment, too to teach them these resiliency tools and I’m talking resiliency in terms of mindfulness, meditation, yoga, things that will help them to be in a state

Valerie Pallotta:    38:30    where they can get away from their nightmares. And I’m not saying that in a way that’s making any sense. If you know what I mean. I think they need to start teaching those tools before deployment. And then you have the deployment and then you come back and you’re doing all of these decompressing tools. You’re still having time with your family, you’re still with your brothers. And that’s just, in my opinion and from the research I’ve done, what I think might be helpful. I mean, why not try it? I mean, what can it hurt?

Scott DeLuzio:    39:05     And looking at the statistics, I just saw a report earlier today that in the 10-year time period where on average about 6,000 military veterans killed themselves each year. When you look at the total number of combat losses, it doesn’t even equal one year in Iraq and Afghanistan. It doesn’t even equal one year’s worth of the people that we lose at home. We’re losing so many more people at home than we are in combat. It just doesn’t make sense that whatever we’re doing, it’s like the saying, the definition of insanity is doing the same thing over and over and expecting a different result. Well, we’ve been doing the same thing over and over and we’re not getting a different result. And unfortunately, something needs to change. Things like what you’re working on and other organizations are working on. I think these are a step in the right direction to help with all of that stuff.

Valerie Pallotta:    40:21    But the sad thing is that my organization, Lucky DePalma’s organization with the horse therapy, you know this but Lucky was in Josh’s and Steven’s unit. There are these organizations that are trying to do these things but we have no government funding. We are the Josh Pallotta fund and I’m sure Lucky’s too, the Veteran Barn Door Project, they rely on donations and fundraisers and that’s the only thing that we’ve been working on this for three years, I think.  Josh died in 2014. The fund has been around but we didn’t really come up with the idea for the first year after Josh died was just a total blur. It’s frustrating because there is money out there but it’s taking a long time to raise funds. And it’s hard because these programs are showing to be beneficial. They work and that’s the hard part. We know they’ve worked.

Scott DeLuzio:    41:39    It’s like that’s where the money should be going to with these organizations instead of whatever the bureaucracy and the government agencies wherever they’re funneling the money is it hasn’t been working. So, let’s put it to someplace where it actually is going to work. Give it these other forms of therapy and other things that might be beneficial to try. You seem like you have a lot of good ideas on the subject. You are definitely making strides in the right direction. One last question for you, so let’s just say someone has a loved one who is struggling with post-traumatic stress similar situation to your son.

Scott DeLuzio:    42:37    What would be something that you might tell that that person that they can do for their loved one who’s struggling, either an organization that they could take them to or something that they can do because a lot of times people might experience what their loved one is going through some sort of issues, but they feel helpless. They don’t know what to do. In your opinion, through your experience in talking to other people and seeing what’s out there, what would you offer as advice to those people?

Valerie Pallotta:    43:26    I think I’m a horrible person to offer advice; honestly, because my boy didn’t talk to me for nine months before he killed himself. And that’s a guilt that I will live with for the rest of my life. I think it’s hard when you’re a loved one because I feel like you want to protect those that you love.

Valerie Pallotta:    43:52    I think it’s hard for a loved one to say, “I recognize that you’re struggling. Have you thought about going to this agency or this agency?”

Valerie Pallotta:    44:06    Our loved ones, who are struggling hide it from those who are closest to them, they want to protect them. They don’t want to hurt them.

Valerie Pallotta:    44:21    What I think might help is if their loved one reached out to their friends and said “Scott’s struggling, can you check in on him?”

Scott DeLuzio:    44:36    Hmm.

Valerie Pallotta:    44:38    So, some things that I’ve seen that help. I think the other thing is that when you’re in that state of

Valerie Pallotta:    44:49    stress and worry and anxiety, it’s really hard for them to not look at everything in one big picture. Josh was like so overwhelmed by everything that he couldn’t just focus on one little thing. And I think if you can help them to break things down and figure out what is the biggest thing that’s bothering them, if it’s sleep, nightmares or a job or whatever, first of all, getting them out to exercise is huge. I mean, if you can take them on a river rafting trip or a hunting trip or skiing or something in nature, I think it is huge. Something physical is huge. It’s going to take work, get them involved, help them find a purpose. I think when they lose their purpose, they lose their ambition and then their motivation.

Valerie Pallotta:    46:02    I think finding a sense of purpose is huge along with getting them moving their body. I don’t know how you can get them off the couch playing video games to going for a run or whatever but I think friends are better able to get them moving, get them involved in a mentoring program with youth that are struggling,

Valerie Pallotta:    46:29    that will give them a purpose that will make them get out of bed and it will feel like they’re serving a purpose and helping somebody.

Scott DeLuzio:    46:37    Right.  I love that. I’m going to just rewind a little bit here and go back to something that you said that you’re not the best person to talk about this. Respectfully, I’m going to disagree with that and say that I think that you’re the perfect person to talk about this because you’ve gone through it, you’ve experienced these things and you have through learning about what you’ve done, you have a passion about this to make sure that other families don’t go through something like your family went through. I would say that you’re probably a perfect person to come up with some sort of advice like this.  I think advice that you gave is spot on.

Scott DeLuzio:    47:32    One of the common things that I’ve heard through talking to other veterans are all things that you’ve talked about. So, they want a way to come together with their other military friends in a group setting; it doesn’t necessarily have to be the people that they deployed with or that were in their unit or anything like that. But other like-minded military people, exercise is a huge thing for people. I think maybe even the biggest thing is that sense of purpose.  Serving something that’s bigger than themselves because really when you’re in the military, that’s what you’re doing. You’re serving your country. You’re out there fighting for people that you don’t know. You’re fighting to defend a country of people who may or may not even be grateful that you’re over there fighting. You’re still doing it anyways because it’s a purpose that’s bigger than yourself.

Scott DeLuzio:    48:36    So whether it’s through a church group or a school or some other organization like boy Scouts or girl Scouts or whatever, those types of things, something that is going to help other people can help you keep moving on. And that’s a reoccurring theme that I’ve seen over and over and over again talking to other people who have struggled with things and have come out on the other side better by hitting rock bottom and discovering some of this stuff on their own.

Scott DeLuzio:    49:18    Everything that you talked about does resonate with other people. These are things that people definitely have used and tactics that help them move on and get through the issues that they’re struggling with. So, before we wrap up, where can people go to find out more about the fund and everything else that you’re involved in?

Valerie Pallotta:    49:51    So, I just have to give you a little warning, our website needs serious updating but you can go to our website. It’s JoshPallottafund.org. It’s P a L L O T T a.org. We have a Facebook page, we have a page Josh Pallotta fund Facebook page, and then we have a page that’s in memory of Joshua R. Pallotta, which is a lot of just his friends and just a lot of things about him specifically. And then the Josh Pallotta fund Facebook page is more about our events and fundraising and things like that. And I share a lot of articles that have come out with the research. So, that can be pretty helpful too.  I have my own Instagram page but I do post some of our events on there and I have a Twitter account. It’s just Valerie Pallotta for both of them but specifically the website and the Facebook page.

Scott DeLuzio:    50:54    Perfect. I’ll have links to all of those things in the show notes. So, anyone who’s listening, click on the show notes for this episode and you can find links to all of that stuff. You can find out how you can help the Josh Pallotta fund and get the wheels moving to help build the house that get that space opened up for the Vets who need it. And thank you for being on the show and sharing your story and everything that you’re up to.

Valerie Pallotta:    51:29    Thank you Scott.  And I do want to say that this one house is not the one and only wellness rec center for veterans. I plan to create more throughout the state of Vermont and then expand out because there’s nothing like it any place else. And I think this is needed. So, you’re right, I do have a passion and I’m on a mission and this mom is not going to give up.

Scott DeLuzio:    51:50    I would not think, from talking to you, that you will. So, thank you for the passion that you have to help out veterans who are in need. And thank you again for being on the show and sharing your story.

Valerie Pallotta:    52:08    Thank you, Scott. I appreciate it and thank you for your service.

Scott DeLuzio:    52:12    Thank you.

Scott DeLuzio:    52:18    Thanks for listening to the Drive On Podcast. If you want to check out more episodes or learn more about the show, you can visit our website, DriveOnPodcast.com we’re on Facebook, Twitter, and Instagram at @DriveOnPodcast.

 

]]> 00:52:38 <![CDATA[Being Your Own Advocate And Other Lessons Learned From Depression]]> Tue, 26 Nov 2019 08:00:03 +0000 Scott DeLuzio https://drive-on-podcast.castos.com/podcasts/2296/episodes/being-your-own-advocate-and-other-lessons-learned-from-depression Brooke Siem is unlike many of our guests in that she's not a veteran. However, her story is one that sounds all too familiar to many veterans.]]> full 26 false Brooke Siem is unlike many of our guests in that she's not a veteran. However, her story is one that sounds all too familiar to many veterans.]]> 00:47:54 <![CDATA[Soldier And Educator On Resiliency]]> Tue, 19 Nov 2019 01:00:24 +0000 Scott DeLuzio https://drive-on-podcast.castos.com/podcasts/2296/episodes/soldier-and-educator-on-resiliency Chip Rankin is an educator and a soldier in the Army National Guard. During his career as an educator and a soldier he’s mentored students and soldiers who were struggling with various issues. Unfortunately, some of those students and soldiers were lost to suicide.

One of the things Chip has found to help those who are struggling has been the individual’s resiliency and not getting caught up in what he calls “mind traps”.

Chip talks about the resiliency training that the Army offers, which helps soldiers shift towards a more resilient mindset. Chip encourages others to “hunt the good” no matter how small that good might be.

Links & Resources

Transcript

Scott DeLuzio:    00:00    Hey everybody, this is the Drive On Podcast where we talk about issues affecting veterans after they get out of the military. I’m your host, Scott DeLuzio, and now let’s get on with the show.

Scott DeLuzio: Hey everyone, thanks for tuning in to the Drive On Podcast today. My guest is Chip Rankin. Chip served 27 years in the U.S. Army and has worked as an educator for about 21 years. Over the course of his career, Chip has lost several students and also soldiers to suicide. He’s found some commonalities with all of these individuals in which I’m hoping to dig into a little bit with this episode. So, Chip, welcome to the show. And why don’t you tell us a little bit about yourself?

Chip Rankin:    00:43    Well, first of all, thanks for having me today. And a little bit about myself.  I grew up in central Minnesota.  I got an undergrad at the University of Minnesota and I was a teacher for roughly eight years.  I joined the guard, the Army National Guard, when I was a college student to help pay college debt and deployed in 2005 to 2007 to Iraq. When I returned, I entered the education administration world as an assistant principal and then a principal later on. Subsequently, I got deployed again from 2011 to 2012 to Afghanistan. And when I got home, I dabbled into becoming a superintendent. I’m entering my third year as a superintendent and approaching my 27th year in the Army and have a pending deployment coming up in the Spring of 2020 to the Horn of Africa. So, it’s me in a nutshell, married and four kids.

Scott DeLuzio:    01:47    Oh, wow. Okay. Interesting. That’s a long career in the both in the military and in education. So, thank you for all of that public service because that’s all great stuff. And now, stepping into the superintendent role, I have to mention, it’s probably a big change of pace for you, as well.

Chip Rankin:  Yeah, it’s interesting.

Scott DeLuzio:  Earlier when we were talking offline, going back and forth with some emails you had mentioned to me that you seem to have found a common issue amongst the soldiers and the students that you’ve lost to suicide. That issue that you mentioned was resiliency. Would you mind going into that topic a little bit more?

Chip Rankin:    02:38    You know one of the things the military has done since I’ve come home from Iraq and Afghanistan, especially in the last 5 to 7 years, we lose the lives of 22 service members a day to suicide as they’ve really stressed resiliency training.  I have resiliency trainers in my organization. Currently, I serve as a commander for second battalion, 135th Infantry out of Mankato, Minnesota.  We have just shy of about a thousand soldiers.  There are requirements annually to complete a certain number of hours in resiliency training. And rightfully so, the military is deeply concerned about the number of suicides in our organization. In the parallel life being a principal, we always talk about what are the barriers to student achievement and student success and why don’t 100% of kids graduate high school? And why do we see issues of suicide, depression, and chem...

]]> full 25 false Chip Rankin is an educator and a soldier in the Army National Guard. During his career as an educator and a soldier he’s mentored students and soldiers who were struggling with various issues. Unfortunately, some of those students and soldiers were lost to suicide.

One of the things Chip has found to help those who are struggling has been the individual’s resiliency and not getting caught up in what he calls “mind traps”.

Chip talks about the resiliency training that the Army offers, which helps soldiers shift towards a more resilient mindset. Chip encourages others to “hunt the good” no matter how small that good might be.

Links & Resources

Transcript

Scott DeLuzio:    00:00    Hey everybody, this is the Drive On Podcast where we talk about issues affecting veterans after they get out of the military. I’m your host, Scott DeLuzio, and now let’s get on with the show.

Scott DeLuzio: Hey everyone, thanks for tuning in to the Drive On Podcast today. My guest is Chip Rankin. Chip served 27 years in the U.S. Army and has worked as an educator for about 21 years. Over the course of his career, Chip has lost several students and also soldiers to suicide. He’s found some commonalities with all of these individuals in which I’m hoping to dig into a little bit with this episode. So, Chip, welcome to the show. And why don’t you tell us a little bit about yourself?

Chip Rankin:    00:43    Well, first of all, thanks for having me today. And a little bit about myself.  I grew up in central Minnesota.  I got an undergrad at the University of Minnesota and I was a teacher for roughly eight years.  I joined the guard, the Army National Guard, when I was a college student to help pay college debt and deployed in 2005 to 2007 to Iraq. When I returned, I entered the education administration world as an assistant principal and then a principal later on. Subsequently, I got deployed again from 2011 to 2012 to Afghanistan. And when I got home, I dabbled into becoming a superintendent. I’m entering my third year as a superintendent and approaching my 27th year in the Army and have a pending deployment coming up in the Spring of 2020 to the Horn of Africa. So, it’s me in a nutshell, married and four kids.

Scott DeLuzio:    01:47    Oh, wow. Okay. Interesting. That’s a long career in the both in the military and in education. So, thank you for all of that public service because that’s all great stuff. And now, stepping into the superintendent role, I have to mention, it’s probably a big change of pace for you, as well.

Chip Rankin:  Yeah, it’s interesting.

Scott DeLuzio:  Earlier when we were talking offline, going back and forth with some emails you had mentioned to me that you seem to have found a common issue amongst the soldiers and the students that you’ve lost to suicide. That issue that you mentioned was resiliency. Would you mind going into that topic a little bit more?

Chip Rankin:    02:38    You know one of the things the military has done since I’ve come home from Iraq and Afghanistan, especially in the last 5 to 7 years, we lose the lives of 22 service members a day to suicide as they’ve really stressed resiliency training.  I have resiliency trainers in my organization. Currently, I serve as a commander for second battalion, 135th Infantry out of Mankato, Minnesota.  We have just shy of about a thousand soldiers.  There are requirements annually to complete a certain number of hours in resiliency training. And rightfully so, the military is deeply concerned about the number of suicides in our organization. In the parallel life being a principal, we always talk about what are the barriers to student achievement and student success and why don’t 100% of kids graduate high school? And why do we see issues of suicide, depression, and chemical use? And it’s interesting as you watch a few Ted Talks and a common denominator is a level of grit, a level of resiliency and it’s very interesting that in two different worlds, two different settings, you find a common denominator.

Scott DeLuzio:    03:56    Yeah, absolutely. And so, you talked a little bit about this resiliency training in the military. What does some of that training look like? What are some of the things that you do in that type of training?

Chip Rankin:    04:09    It was developed by an organization that put together a number of videos.  They call a lot of vignettes, settings, hunting the good. A lot of it is how you approach things versus how things approach you. A lot of it is just self-awareness and how you approach problem solving and how you approach each day. What the training looks like is, just say we took a four-hour block of instruction,  it would be a combination of PowerPoints and videos.  The instructors have to get certified.  They serve the unit level down to the smallest unit, which might be a squad, which might be about 12 soldiers but to as high as a company, which might be 135 and they’ll pick key topics.  It’s not just around resiliency but what they do is they work to skills of coping through difficult situations that might paralyze an individual.  For example, let’s just talk finances. There are some people that their finances cause depression, divorce, and they just talk to you through skills and how to get through that so you don’t have to go through those experiences.

Scott DeLuzio:    05:35    Okay. That makes a lot of sense that the military would do something like this to help the soldiers get through some of this stuff and build that resiliency because a lot of what you do in the military especially being Infantry, I was also Infantry, so a lot of the stuff that you do requires some degree of resiliency.  I gave a presentation at a conference about a year and a half ago or so talking to other entrepreneurs about the lessons that I learned in the military that I’ve been able to apply to my own business. Hopefully with the idea of helping other entrepreneurs to be able to apply some of that stuff to their own business.  One of the topics that I discussed was that the concept of Embrace the Suck, which if anyone is not familiar who might be listening with that phrase, it’s a common phrase in the military and it’s sort of tongue in cheek a little bit.

Scott DeLuzio:    06:37     We use that to either accept or appreciate something that’s either difficult or unpleasant, something that you might have to do, whether it’s a long ruck march or whatever it happens to be. It’s just that thing that concept of embracing the suck to get through that difficult thing because whatever that thing is that you’re doing is ultimately unavoidable. You still have to do it. Just because it sucks, doesn’t mean that you can just stop doing it or whatever.  So, it’s unavoidable for whatever that forward progress or momentum to take place.  So anyways, I gave an example of a farmer who might be growing a bamboo tree, for example. I picked a bamboo tree for a specific reason.

Scott DeLuzio:    07:29    I know it sounds like it’s a sort of off the wall but if you know anything about bamboo trees, the seed that’s first planted for the bamboo tree needs to be watered almost daily before that seed breaks ground. That little sapling or whatever you want to call it, breaks ground almost five years later from the time that it was first planted.  It has to be some sort of dedication and even a little bit of faith to be able to tend to a plant for five years. You don’t even know really if it took root or not at that point.  Once when the tree does break through the ground, it can grow about 80 to 90 feet in just a little over a month

Scott DeLuzio:    08:13     up out of the ground. So, at that point, the growth seems almost effortless. In reality, it required years of weeding and watering and everything else that goes into it in order for that tree to even get to the point where it broke ground and that now, to me, that’s the suck that we talked about there. It makes it so that some people might view other people and say, “Oh, it looks like they’re an overnight success or they’re doing this thing effortlessly” whether it’s a physical exercise or in schools, “Oh, someone just gets this math problem really easily. And I must be dumb because I don’t get it.”  Which is probably not the case.

Scott DeLuzio:    08:59    And in many cases, it’s just a matter of that other person put in the work to get to that point where they understand it at a better level.  I can imagine that in some cases, especially with the students that you are dealing with on a day to day basis, that they may have some level of self-doubt or things like that where they’re seeing other people who are acing tests and they may just feel  down on themselves because it seems like no matter what they do, they’re not able to achieve that same level of success. But what you are saying is that resiliencies are something that sort of seems like it might help them get to that point.

Chip Rankin:    09:48    Part of the resiliency training is avoiding thinking traps. All that really means is, if you boil it all down, is that you can’t think, “well, Oh, I have to go to work today. It’s going to be so miserable. It’s going to still be horrible and I have to deal with this. Can I deal with this?” Well, if you start thinking about what’s going to happen to you versus the possibilities of what you could make happen today, thinking traps and it’d be no different than a student coming to work and say, “Oh my gosh, I’ve got to go to biology today. Well, that sinking trap because of maybe one negative experience, you think that every experience is going to be negative. And if you’ve already approached it that way and then it’s probably going to happen, that’s going to be negative.

Chip Rankin:    10:30    And it’s just getting out of that mindset. And I think that there comes a point that maybe it’s your point of view. Is it really that sucky? I think for me as a kid, I grew up on a dairy farm, cleaning barns with a pitchfork but there were no Bobcat’s or bailing hay and you were so giddy because you got a penny a bail. And now that you’re an adult where they really kind of took advantage of me there. But at the time a penny was a big deal. Now as a kid, I was excited but if I was an adult, I’m probably not doing it for a penny a bail. Now, that’s 25 years ago. But you get my point.  It’s all about your perspective.

Scott DeLuzio:    11:10    Yeah, it is. And actually, that brings up another point regarding the resiliency and the effort that it might take somebody to just push through.  There’s something that I’ve read about a while ago I think it was actually kind of this idea, it was created by a Navy Seal.  It’s a rule that he came up with called the 40% rule. The 40% number isn’t like a scientifically calculated or proven number or anything like that, it’s just like a ballpark estimate. But for what we’re talking about, it’s actually a good estimate.

Scott DeLuzio:    11:51    What the 40% rule says that when you’re doing something that’s difficult there will come a time when your mind says you’re done. Whether it’s a physical activity, lifting weights or running a long distance or even a mental activity where you’re studying or you’re taking a test or some fact that there’s going to come a time when your mind is just like, “I quit. I’m done.”  So, no matter what the task is that you will eventually come to a point where you just want to quit.  It’s that point where most of us will just quit on whatever that thing is.  At that point, we’ve only really done about 40% of what we’re capable of doing.  Now imagine if that bamboo farmer that I was talking about earlier quit after the second year, the tree that he was planting wouldn’t stand a chance.

Scott DeLuzio:    12:41     That’s the mindset that elite soldiers like Navy Seals and Rangers and things like that have and why they’re capable of doing things that are seemingly like superhuman. They’re able to hold their breath for a super long time and run for a long period of time and do all these crazy tasks.  I think in knowing that, it can help us push through difficult situations to give a bit more effort.  Now this whole 40% rule isn’t so much about the individual goals or tasks of maybe a test or going into work or whatever. But it’s the mindset that’s required to push past that 40% and have the perseverance that it takes to keep on going.  In my opinion, it’s more important than whatever that individual task that they’re doing is, it sort of builds character and makes you into the type of person that will ultimately be successful.  So, it’s an interesting thing that you’re talking about in terms of how all that works in the classroom and stuff too.

Chip Rankin:    13:53    Yeah, absolutely. I think I look like this. I’m pretty much a homegrown Minnesota guy most of my life and getting deployed to Iraq and Afghanistan, a lot of people think how horrible that could be.  I personally think it was a life changing event. Yes. Not just the fact that you’re deployed in a combat theater but getting a chance to see how another population lives and the daily grind of their life. And, we get upset.  We get upset if our favorite cup of coffee is not available at our favorite convenience store. There are no convenience stores located there. We got upset last week when the power went out on our school for about an hour and a half. But if you went back in the last five years of our school, say the power went out 20 times in five years, it was probably off for less than two hours.

Chip Rankin:    14:51    And when you get deployed, you realize that these people in an entire country might only get two hours of power the entire week and you may not have it for a month, but their lives continue on. And so, if you sat there and dwelled on it, now people are like, “well that’s pretty foolish because you live in an industrialist country and there are expectationa. But I guess it comes from the next thing I would talk about what to me, it’s all about perspective management. You know, if your perspective is that it needs to be X, Y, and Z, then it can really be crushed when it’s not X, Y, and Z and it’s ABC. But I guess it’s all based on experience. I’ll go back what to you said, embrace the suck. So, the power’s off for two hours. It’s Fall, it’s Minnesota, it’s beautiful. Go outside, you’ll be just fine. The world’s not coming to an end.

Scott DeLuzio:    15:44      A really good point is that the perspective I think is something that people need to really

Scott DeLuzio:    15:53    focus on their perspective a little bit in terms of not focusing on the negatives so much and realize that there is a way through it. I suppose whatever their situation might be, especially like you’re talking about, like your favorite type of coffee is not available or something. It’s like, that’s totally not the end of the world at this point.  You can definitely carry on with your day. Get a different flavor or different brand or whatever it is and just move on.  So, have you seen strategies throughout your career with the different coping mechanisms to change people’s perspectives on certain things?

Chip Rankin:    16:50    You know, I always tell people when they come to school like, “Hey, so school or the Army, how are we going to hunt the good stuff today?” I tell people that all the time, like hunt the good cause, the bad’s always hunting you. So, to me when you get up in the morning and maybe you’re having a tough day, well turn it around immediately. What good can happen and what are you going to search out and how are you going to make that actually happen?  I think about it in the same way from a student like, “okay, so it didn’t go so well.”  To me that comes a point where, okay, your self-regulation, it doesn’t mean you allow yourself to get so low. And I talk about all the time. Teenagers with hormones, emotions get really high and they can get really low.

Chip Rankin:    17:33    We get really excited when our favorite football player scores that massive touchdown. But the celebration almost seems to be so high that I feel like sometimes if you get too high then you can also feel too low. So, you don’t score for like four games and then you’re in an all-time low. So, it’s like that self-regulation.  And then hunt the good stuff. What good happened today? What good things mean to you? One of the things I asked for students to do is ask them to journal three things that happened good today. And they’ll be like, “well, nothing good happened today.

Chip Rankin:    18:08    Nothing good at all.  Just trying to challenge them and then it’s defining what could be good. Somebody paid you a compliment. Well, that’s something good. Then they start to get these mine traps, “well, they didn’t probably mean it.” We’ll stop reading into it. If they said you look nice, then you look nice. They didn’t say, you look nice, but what I really mean is you look horrible but I’m going to say you look nice. Those are mind traps that you just need to get yourself out of. Accept it for what it is, don’t read into it and move on.  I think too that the most critical thing that I learned too is I had two soldiers dying on December 2, 2006. And you know, up to that point we had had a lot of close calls.

Chip Rankin:    18:57     40, 50 IEDs. We would take consistant small arms fire and guys talk about it, they joke about it, but then ultimately, on December2, something that actually happened. In the military, we have a tradition that when you have a fallen soldier, you will have a memorial ceremony. And so, here I’m in Fallujah Iraq and the whole company that could be available attended and you get all these senior officers and at the time it used to pretty paralyzing. I was their commander I was a captain at the time. And I had about 150 soldiers, 50 Marines and sailors in my unit. I knew almost all of them. I mean, maybe not like they weren’t my friends; unfortunately, I was their commander, but I got to know a lot of them.

Chip Rankin:    19:47    And what I got to observe is just the array of emotions that happen, from guys who were paralyzed. It just couldn’t go back out again to people that are going to go off in the next five minutes and they’re going to get revenge. And then the vast majority are somewhere in the middle. I think it was eye opening just to watch and the direst times how it almost scatters everybody in different directions. And it was interesting watching probably about eight of them out of that nearly 200 soldiers that just seriously took them nearly two weeks before they had been there. We had been to played it. By that time, we’d already been in theater, in Iraq for about nine months. It wasn’t something new to them, but it was the first time they had to deal with actually one of their fellow soldiers and some that were from another organization, a different platoon.

Chip Rankin:    20:45    So they knew each other but maybe didn’t know each other intimately but it affected them so deeply that it was tough for them. And I guess what I’ve found the most interesting is working through that to get them back out. But a lot of that resiliency training came into play. And one of the things I find most interesting is at the time it sounded pretty corny, but our chaplain just said, this’ll pass too. And he was an older dude.  I’m 32, but he’s probably in his early fifties but he’d probably witnessed this a few times and he also kept it in perspective. These were not his friends. These were not one of his soldiers but he had obviously been a reservist himself.

Chip Rankin:    21:33    He was Marine Corps, actually a Navy reservists chaplain priest. And it’d probably have been to 50 funerals, maybe 500 funerals, I don’t know. Overseeing them and now I look back on it and today it’s 2019 and I think it did pass and all those soldiers that did actually have to deal with that. I mean, almost all of them came through it.  At the time you would think that they didn’t even know if they could get out of bed the next day but because we had a mission and they didn’t want to let their friends down especially their friends and their colleagues and their buddies, they got back up and they did it. I think sometimes the part of that resiliency is making a phone call. To me it’s like being a jerk and like, all right.

Chip Rankin:    22:21    And in the Army, you don’t just lay in your bed. Somebody is going to come in the next morning, if your three minutes late, they’re going to change your world immediately and not let you to sink lower. I think the biggest thing I see in this resiliency is those mental games and putting things into perspective. But I also think it’s just keep going after your battle buddies and don’t let them sink and find those icebergs and get them through it. Because this too shall pass. And you just can’t let them stay static. You have to keep moving forward and that’s no different for the student, right? There’s not a problem that we can’t solve together but if you’re not aware of a problem, you’ll never actually start tackling it. And my experience with this is it’s the isolation that will allow individuals, one phone call, one email, I don’t know about Snapchat, but my kids sure love it. But you know, one picture might brighten someone’s day and it might make him go on another day and then the next one might be another day. And as long as we keep moving forward, everything shall pass with time.

Scott DeLuzio:  Yeah. Actually, I had another guest on the show actually the episode has not yet been

Scott DeLuzio:    23:46    released, but it will be I think by the time this episode comes out.  It’ll have come out. So, I might as well talk about it. But we were talking about always wanting to keep moving. You always want to move forward.  Sometimes the movement that you make you may not know what exactly the right decision is in terms of, am I moving in the right direction?  Whether it’s in business or some decisions in your job or whatever, you may not know if you’re actually making the right decision but if you just sit around and don’t do anything, you’re not really making any progress or any momentum. So, you want to just make a decision and move in some direction.

Scott DeLuzio:    24:35    And that sounds almost like what you’re talking about, in terms of not just isolating yourself and sitting there and allowing yourself to get into all those mind traps that you talked about and everything. And you want to keep moving forward and even if it’s just a phone call to help move forward in the right direction, that might be all you need. So, you said that a lot of the soldiers after that incident where you lost some soldiers, a lot of the soldiers there were having trouble getting back out into the field.  What were some of the things that helped them get back out?  Was it really just literally someone going in and saying, “Hey, it’s time for your shift or it’s time for your turn to do whatever, let’s go on patrol or whatever and just forced them out there? Or was there some sort of process that you guys went through?

Chip Rankin:    25:40    Well, one of the things we did do is we started forcing people out of their rooms.  I know it sounds pretty simplistic and I don’t know if you’re an officer NCO me being an officer, I try not to get in a noncommissioned officer business. Those are the direct contacts of soldiers. But we required a mandatory PT every day except for Sunday.  Just getting people physically moving.  I do believe that there is something about keeping the chemical balance in your body moving.  I think it’s good to sometimes burn off bad energy; it’s just like, sometimes when you clear your mind and challenge your body and move forward. I think that helped a lot.  But not allowing people to eat in the rooms and not allowing them to eat by themselves.  I know it sounds pretty simplistic, but the military has a way of assigning a battle buddy.

Chip Rankin:    26:33    We would do the same thing in schools. We get a new kid coming in here. You’re not really alone your first week.  It’s already awkward when you’re new to a school but we take kids that are leaders, like our student council members at my last school we even had a thing called link crew where we’re intentionally putting our top seniors with our incoming freshmen to just ease their way through, knowing that where we identify some tough times and bring them forward and then we’d even do something crazy, like it wasn’t real challenging, but mental games you know, it sounded crazy but we would have a little tournament.  I don’t care if it was cribbage.  There’s a lot of games like play video games but it took their mind off the awkwardness and it kept him moving, kept them active. And I think it helped a lot.

Scott DeLuzio:    27:17    Right. That’s really good. And it actually makes a lot of sense. And through some of the conversations on this podcast that I’ve had with other people, it sounds like that resonates with other people as well. It wasn’t just a random chance that you happened to come across doing this type of stuff.  I’ve talked to one soldier who came back; he had PTSD issues and the best thing for him was just getting outside and moving and being active.  That really helped him get through some of his issues and work through some of that stuff.  Getting back in touch with nature, going on hikes and kayaking and all sorts of things like that.

Scott DeLuzio:    28:00     Through several of the people that I spoke to “community” is something that really resonated with them.  When you’re in the military, you have that tight-knit group of people who, especially when you’re deployed, replaces your family, not replaces entirely but they act as your family. They’re looking out for you and helping you with issues and things like that. You guys all come together in that respect.  If you’re just isolating yourself, staying in your room or eating by yourself or whatever, you’re not getting that benefit of the community. So, I think that’s what you did there in terms of essentially forcing people out of their rooms or out of their wherever they were to be involved in that community is probably a great move, in terms of keeping them involved in that community and moving forward in the right direction.

Chip Rankin:    29:02    Yeah, I’d say the same thing even in school. So, you’re going to have students that don’t want to be involved in everything because, at times they’re so nervous about they want just the world and you just don’t let them. You don’t get a choice in this. And I think it’s just like parents. There comes a time where I’m a parent of four kids.  My job was not to make you happy. My job was to make you better. And yeah, I want you to be happy but I know sometimes I have to make decisions for you that I know are in your best interests, like the day I had to take my kindergartener to get her flu shot that she is absolutely going to hate but we know what’s better for her. It’s pretty common sense but sometimes what we do when people are hurting, we want to leave them alone. In fact, that’s the opposite of what you want to do.

Scott DeLuzio:    29:48    Yeah, absolutely. Go out for a coffee or something like that, take them somewhere and get them out so, they’re not stuck in that rut, wherever they happen to be and definitely don’t leave them alone because that’s, like you were saying before, that’s where those mind traps sort of seep in.  You start to have that internal dialogue that is in many cases very, very wrong.  You start to believe it and you start to internalize it and believe all of those negative things that you’re thinking.

Scott DeLuzio:    30:30    Getting out and being involved with people is definitely a great way to start and

Scott DeLuzio:    30:37    negate all of that?  So, I have another question. So, let’s say we have someone who’s listening and they realize or at least recognize that they’re falling into some of these trap that you’re talking about.  They want to become more resilient.  Maybe it’s a student, maybe it’s a younger teenage or even preteen or something like that or, or even older, maybe it’s someone who is in the military.  What advice would you give them to be able to start working on building resiliency through whatever processes that they may be going through?

Chip Rankin:    31:23    Know, first of all, I just think that sometimes we need just to acknowledge it. We live in the greatest country in the world and we have so many resources available to us right at our finger tips.  If you’re a soldier, Military One Source, has people that are on 24/7 waiting for your text, your phone call, your email and these are highly trained people that are looking out for you and that’s their sole purpose in life and you’ve earned that resource, use it. I think a lot of people just don’t use it.  The second thing is if you’re a student, I mean our schools are loaded with people that want to help. And maybe it starts with finding that first person you trust and sharing. And I know it’s really hard because you don’t want anybody to know about your business.

Chip Rankin:    32:04    But here’s the deal. If you want to get better, then you’ve got to share, if you want to grow. I just think it takes that very first thing, setting that very first goal. And it might be as simple as, “Hey, if I want to lose 10 pounds this week, I don’t focus on losing 10 pounds.” But I think what we really talk about is, “okay, today I’m going to go for a walk.” How hard is to go for a walk? It’s a beautiful day. Let’s get outside, let’s go for a walk. And then holding yourself accountable, right? Realtime goals and have a plan going into it. I just think that we’re so lucky to live in the United States where the supports are everywhere and people want to help even if you don’t have any money.

Chip Rankin:    32:50    There’s a lot of people in our churches that are trained to do this very thing.  It starts with trusting somebody and finding somebody in your life that you trust. To me what helped me grow my resilience is having a few people that are going to not that’s a big downstream. Having a mentor and having a friend, your mentor can be a friend to you, but a mentor is going to tell you things that you probably don’t want to hear. A friend is going to tell you stuff that makes you feel good. And if they’re good friends, there’ll be a mentor to you.  Trust them and get some critical feedback. It’s hard to hear it but if it helps you grow, then it’s worth every bit of it.

Scott DeLuzio:    33:28    Absolutely. I love that whole thing there. That makes a ton of sense and I really hope that that helps some people who are struggling with that resiliency issue and becoming a little bit grittier, if you will.  So, it looks like we’re coming up on time here.  I like to ask the veterans that I have on this show one last question before we wrap things up.  You can answer this question however you’d like either with a joke or something maybe more serious.  The question is, “is there anything that you wish someone would have told you before you joined the military?  Any piece of advice or tips or things like that? “

Chip Rankin:    34:13    I think what I would share with people, I have a 15 year old who is going to turn 16 year in a couple of weeks and he’s going to be 17 here in about a year. And he talks to me all the time about joining the military.  I think I’d ask them as I turned around and say, so what they should have told me is, do you know what you’re about to do? Because people thank you for your service all the time. It’s a little awkward, but I think what I’d share with people is

Chip Rankin:    34:45    the reason you’re joining is to become a better version of you. And if you let the military to do that, there’s going to be ups and downs. There’s going to be doubts. And why did I do this? But you know, I think at the end of the day, what people should tell you is that you’re going to come out of this better than when you went into it, if you allow that process to happen to you. And to me it all comes back to mindset. I come across a lot of veterans, a lot of people that served, and for those people listening that have served thanks for service. I know you don’t like to hear it. I don’t like to hear it but the reality is that 1% of our population does it today. And that doesn’t mean if you don’t serve, there’s a lot of things you can do. You don’t have to just serve in the military but just trust the process. Stay true to why you joined. And at the end of the day, you’re going to be a better version of yourself than when you went in at the time. It was all about me and how I’m going to pay for college for me. And you know, I think that there’s easier ways to pay for college than to join the military because you want to become a better person. And if you trust it, it will happen.

Scott DeLuzio:    35:51    Thanks for listening to the Drive On Podcast. If you want to check out more episodes or learn more about the show, you can visit our website, DriveOnPodcast.com we’re on Facebook, Twitter, and Instagram @DriveOnPodcast.

]]> 00:36:11 <![CDATA[Marine Corps Veteran On Not Being Afraid To Fail]]> Tue, 12 Nov 2019 01:00:55 +0000 Scott DeLuzio https://drive-on-podcast.castos.com/podcasts/2296/episodes/marine-corps-veteran-on-not-being-afraid-to-fail Tony Perez is the general manager and VP of the security product group at GoDaddy. Before that though, Tony did two tours in Iraq with the Marine Corps. After getting out of the Marines, Tony dipped his toe in the entrepreneurial waters.

He’s downright drenched from those waters now!

The reason I wanted Tony on the show is because I knew some of his background and how successful he’s been – I knew there was a story behind it all. Tony didn’t disappoint.

Tony talks about an almost naive approach to business, and life in general, with his “how hard could it be” mindset. Yet even when things get tough, Tony talks about how he perseveres through those harder times.

This was a truly enjoyable episode to record, and I’m sure you’ll enjoy listening to it!

Links & Resources

Transcript

Scott DeLuzio:    00:00    Hey everybody, this is the Drive On Podcast where we talk about issues affecting veterans after they get out of the military. I’m your host, Scott DeLuzio, and now let’s get on with the show.

Scott DeLuzio:    00:16    Hey everyone, thanks for tuning into the Drive On Podcast. Today my guest is Tony Perez. Tony is the general manager and vice president of the security product group at GoDaddy. He’s also the co-founder and former CEO of a website security company called Sucuri. Tony is also a Marine Corps veteran who did two tours in Iraq. Tony, thanks for joining us on the show. Why don’t you go ahead and tell us a little bit about yourself and I don’t want to give too much about your background in that intro, but why don’t you tell us a little bit about yourself?

Tony Perez:    00:47    Yeah, for sure. Thanks a lot for having me guys. I’m really happy to be here to chat with you and your audience about my background and history and maybe it’s helpful to somebody. So, as you mentioned, I was in the Marine Corps. I got out as a Sergeant back in 2005 and I was in between 2000 and 2005. I was attached to the first that was attached to 1st MARDIV in 2003 when we pushed across the LOD, we did our whole push up to Baghdad. And then, I was attached to responsible for Karbala and the provinces.  Total in time country was about a year, three quarters. And then I went back as a defense contractor. So, after 2005, I was a defense contractor through 2011.  In 2011, it’s really where I got started with Sucuri, but it actually wasn’t my first start as an entrepreneur.

Tony Perez:    01:37    I actually had a WordPress agency or what you would call a boutique agency where we would build WordPress based sites for customers.  Since then, as you mentioned, we grew the company. We ended up exiting it and I came over to be part of the GoDaddy family.  I like to call myself an intrepreneur now because I’m part of a good company trying to grow a thing inside, which is an experience in and of itself. In addition to that, I also founded another tech startup with my good friend Daniel called Clean Browsing where we do DNS-based content filtering.  I’m also an off-road racer, with DDoS racing team, which we could also get into. And then I do some philanthropic work with a lot of veteran based stuff for one reason or another. So, combat vets struggling with PTSD, looking for opportunities, a more spiritual resiliency type veteran organization for folks with PTSD as well.  So that’s just a little bit...

]]> full 24 false Tony Perez is the general manager and VP of the security product group at GoDaddy. Before that though, Tony did two tours in Iraq with the Marine Corps. After getting out of the Marines, Tony dipped his toe in the entrepreneurial waters.

He’s downright drenched from those waters now!

The reason I wanted Tony on the show is because I knew some of his background and how successful he’s been – I knew there was a story behind it all. Tony didn’t disappoint.

Tony talks about an almost naive approach to business, and life in general, with his “how hard could it be” mindset. Yet even when things get tough, Tony talks about how he perseveres through those harder times.

This was a truly enjoyable episode to record, and I’m sure you’ll enjoy listening to it!

Links & Resources

Transcript

Scott DeLuzio:    00:00    Hey everybody, this is the Drive On Podcast where we talk about issues affecting veterans after they get out of the military. I’m your host, Scott DeLuzio, and now let’s get on with the show.

Scott DeLuzio:    00:16    Hey everyone, thanks for tuning into the Drive On Podcast. Today my guest is Tony Perez. Tony is the general manager and vice president of the security product group at GoDaddy. He’s also the co-founder and former CEO of a website security company called Sucuri. Tony is also a Marine Corps veteran who did two tours in Iraq. Tony, thanks for joining us on the show. Why don’t you go ahead and tell us a little bit about yourself and I don’t want to give too much about your background in that intro, but why don’t you tell us a little bit about yourself?

Tony Perez:    00:47    Yeah, for sure. Thanks a lot for having me guys. I’m really happy to be here to chat with you and your audience about my background and history and maybe it’s helpful to somebody. So, as you mentioned, I was in the Marine Corps. I got out as a Sergeant back in 2005 and I was in between 2000 and 2005. I was attached to the first that was attached to 1st MARDIV in 2003 when we pushed across the LOD, we did our whole push up to Baghdad. And then, I was attached to responsible for Karbala and the provinces.  Total in time country was about a year, three quarters. And then I went back as a defense contractor. So, after 2005, I was a defense contractor through 2011.  In 2011, it’s really where I got started with Sucuri, but it actually wasn’t my first start as an entrepreneur.

Tony Perez:    01:37    I actually had a WordPress agency or what you would call a boutique agency where we would build WordPress based sites for customers.  Since then, as you mentioned, we grew the company. We ended up exiting it and I came over to be part of the GoDaddy family.  I like to call myself an intrepreneur now because I’m part of a good company trying to grow a thing inside, which is an experience in and of itself. In addition to that, I also founded another tech startup with my good friend Daniel called Clean Browsing where we do DNS-based content filtering.  I’m also an off-road racer, with DDoS racing team, which we could also get into. And then I do some philanthropic work with a lot of veteran based stuff for one reason or another. So, combat vets struggling with PTSD, looking for opportunities, a more spiritual resiliency type veteran organization for folks with PTSD as well.  So that’s just a little bit about me, my background.

Scott DeLuzio:    02:42    That’s really great.  So, you mentioned Clean Browsing. I’m actually a customer of Clean Browsing. It’s a great tool and I’ll definitely put some links to it all in the show notes. It’s really good, especially if you have little kids at home and you want to make sure that they’re not getting on to any of the crap that’s on the internet.

Tony Perez:    03:05    What’s funny is that my whole approach with Sucuri and what I did with my first company and then with Go Daddy, my general approach to life is “Oh, how hard could it be?”  It actually always turns out to be harder. I think that’s something that the Marines drilled into us where we’re like, “we can do anything.” Clean Browsing was the same exact concept of Sucuri where we had this idea, we started building something, and we’re like, “Oh, whatever it’s just interesting and how hard can it be?” And we throw it out there and then it’s just picked up a lot of momentum over time over the past year.  So, it was actually cool when I saw you use it. I was like, “Oh, shit, did you know, that’s awesome.” They’re like, “Oh no, that’s and I was just like “it’s cool, but it’s, I say in principle, how hard can it be?

Scott DeLuzio:    03:53    Right. It’s really great and it’s actually from the user perspective, it’s a pretty simple product to use to. And it definitely helps lock things down.  Kids don’t end up on sites that you don’t want them on. It’s really nice.  When you were in the Marines, what was your job? What was your MOS background?

Tony Perez:    04:21    I was in the 02 field in the Marine Corps, so that’s the intelligence and the military intelligence. But I specialize in something called a geospatial intelligence. So, the ability to spatially coordinate information, a lot of cartography surveys, which is really interesting. At the time of Afghanistan and Iraq, we didn’t have a lot of data at that time. Try to put yourself in 2001, 2002 timeframe.  As you heard announcement that we’re going to go to war, we didn’t have any information for these places. And so, for workups and for headquarters, Marine Corps trying to plan, we aggregated and collected a lot of data for these locations. Things are very different today.   While we were in country, the job switched from creating the data to then working with the various teams, producing products for them while they were going in the field and we were always attached with them as they were moving. So, it was a very different configuration today than it was back then. And things were a bit of a wild, wild West, like we’re everywhere.  That was interesting.  So, that is what I did.

Scott DeLuzio:    05:30    Okay. It’s nice to have a little background and there’s so many jobs out there in the military especially, you don’t even know what the half of it is. And that’s one of those jobs I didn’t even know was even a thing that the military had. But yeah, obviously it is,

Tony Perez:    05:47    That space is where you do a lot of work with Counter Intel. You do a lot of work with the guys, say you’re doing a high value target or something like that, you do a lot of the analysis and recon for that.  It’s a pretty interesting gig and you get to see a wide breadth of the battle space.

Scott DeLuzio:    06:04   That is pretty awesome actually.  It probably helped your mindset in terms of thinking about security related stuff when moving into Sucuri and when you started going down that path that might’ve helped you with that 30,000 feet overview of what all the moving parts are that could be going on to affect website security and stuff that Sucuri is known for protecting against, I would imagine.

Tony Perez:    06:35    Actually, it probably did in different ways than you think. So, for instance, when I first got out, I always do in a lot of subject matters, we teach geospatial technologies for headquarters, Marine Corps headquarters, Army.  I was helping design and develop a capital asset system for the country of Afghanistan, working with their ministry of defense, ministry of interior and so, it wasn’t even in the security space per se. I was actually introduced to the team that’s Sucuri with Daniel through Dre, who happens to be my brother-in-law, who also happens to be the guy that I had started Cubic 2 with, which was a boutique agency.  He actually introduced me to WordPress and best side of the house. What actually did carry over was just my, I don’t know how you would say it,

Tony Perez:    07:24    I don’t know if it’s confidence or inability to appreciate my own naiveness and I was just like, “it can’t be that hard to run this project. It can’t be that hard to build this thing.” Right? And so, I just threw myself out there the way I had been taught, just overcome whatever obstacles I can. And for me, there’s no obstacle that will stop me. I just have to get over it. And I just ran with it that way. Now, what did end up happening is over time from a business development or just looking at the landscape and I started looking at the business and the industry we were in as a battle space. And so, I would start looking at how our competitors were responding or what was happening or trying to figure out what’s the right time to respond or what would they be doing. I did start to leverage some of the strategy and the tactics employed for the strategy based on that experience. So, it wasn’t like it got me into security, but how I looked at the thought of space and how I saw that planning did get applied to how I run the businesses then and how I actually run the business today.

Scott DeLuzio:    08:28    That’s really interesting, how you’re able to take the business landscape and mesh that into a battlefield landscape in your head. As you’re looking at all this stuff, that’s actually a phenomenal way to look at it because really it is in a way, sort of like a battle.  You’re fighting for market share and things like that and in some cases, you may actually be friends with some of the people that you’re competing against, but it’s still a battle. Someone’s going to be the top dog at the end.

Tony Perez:    09:04    Absolutely. And like the Bay area doesn’t like to talk about it that way. Right? We have this whole new world view of the world and how we communicate but for me it’s always been like that. It’s always been a pull and a push type relationship and sometimes you make a strategic partnership with somebody that you know is going to cause a problem later but to get across one thing, or you give up a strategic partnership, understanding that it’s going to hurt you in the short term for long-term gain because you’re going a different direction, right? Like there’s this constant pull and push type relationship happening with you in the market and your competitors and the vendors you partner with, et cetera, that is actually really, really neat, right? And that is some of the things that I did pull away from, like how do we think about the battle space and how do we not worry so much about this battle, but how do we worry about this one fight, but worry about the bigger battle, right?  For right or wrong, that’s how I approach almost everything I do.

Scott DeLuzio:    10:01    It’s a good way to approach things too, because it’s constantly moving you forward and you’re constantly making decisions.  And like you said, right or wrong, some of these decisions might be good decisions, some of them might end up hurting you in the end but you’re making decisions; you’re constantly moving and so, eventually you make enough of these decisions are going to be moving in the right direction.

Tony Perez:    10:28    Well, that’s actually a really good point. One of the things that I always tell the team and they say that it gets a little bit intense, Tony, but I always tell him, when you’re in war, they teach you to keep moving, you move to cover, you move you to take cover. And in fact, when you stop moving is when you die, right? And so, like my marketing team would always be like, “what the hell Tony?” But that’s the reality guys. And what we need to do is don’t get caught up with this one thing that we did that didn’t work, you have to continue to evolve. The battle spaces continued to evolve and you have to evolve with it. What we did yesterday may not evolve. The enemy’s getting smarter. The technologies are changing, right? And the minute we stop evolving, that is when we as a brand will die. Right?  That’s a lesson that I learned all the way back in my MCI days. “Oh no, they see me, I’m down, I’m up, they see me, I’m down, and they’re teaching you the opposite of what normal people do. Keep running towards it.

Tony Perez:    11:32    I was like, “Whoa. That was Marine logic.” Right.

Scott DeLuzio: And you see that too

Scott DeLuzio:    11:38    even in day to day life. Well, this isn’t exactly day to day. This is an anomaly that takes place. But there was recently a shooting, I think it was the one that was in Walmart, in Texas. I want to say there was a, and I could be wrong it could be a different shooting at some point, but there was a soldier, who basically ran towards where the gunfire was because he saw some kid laying on the ground who were bleeding and he went to go help. It’s like normal people don’t do that. Normal people don’t go run towards where there’s gunfire, where there’s blood all over the place. Normal people are not trained to do that. They’re trained to run away.

Scott DeLuzio:    12:20    I guess the military makes not so normal people and in a way that’s a good thing because if that soldier didn’t go after that kid who was bleeding on the ground, that kid may not have made it.  So, in a way that’s a good thing that we have that mindset to keep moving and take action is a better way to phrase it.

Tony Perez:  Jocko talks a lot about this actually,

Scott DeLuzio: Yeah, he does. And it’s really good.  If anyone who’s listening does not know about this, it’s called the Jocko Podcast and I’m going to have a link to that in the show notes as well. A Navy seal who talks a lot about leadership related stuff and really, really good stories that he tells too.  He has other guests on the show that has lots of good stories. So, I’ll have a link to Jocko in there too.

Tony Perez:    13:19    You know, one thing to note is I think that might be really interesting to your audience. I don’t actually talk about it that much but a lot of people will sit back and say, “wow” to me, “you’ve been very successful” and you know they talk about the things that I’ve done, et cetera. What we don’t actually talk a lot about is what actually happened when I first got out. Right.  If you talk to anybody that I served with, everyone always thought that I was going to be a Master Guns. So, I was an enlisted guy, right? So, I wanted it to be a Master Guns because I wanted to run the troops, do my thing, but I didn’t want to do the admin bullshit. I didn’t want to do the Sergeant Major nonsense.

Tony Perez:    13:50     I thought I was a lifer, but in 2005, I had spent about a year and three quarters in country not including workups and what we were doing there. And when I was coming home, I actually had met my wife, my then girlfriend, now wife.   I got in this really weird mental rut where I felt very disconnected from the world. I couldn’t understand why people cared about movies and why people were doing things. When I was in country, it was a lot of battle damage assessments. So, I did a lot of PSDs, security details, we would go out with the front lines and then we would go back after we would do a hit and assessed the carnage and the damage that had been done.

Tony Perez:    14:35    We’d have to do reports on that from the intelligence side and so I would come home and I just couldn’t connect. I was having a really hard time and I found myself in this really weird rut where I felt the Marine Corps was pushing me to do things that the Marine Corps wanted and everybody was pushing me to do something but nothing that I wanted to do.  I ended up getting out and then for about four or five years after getting out, I actually struggled really bad. I went up from 200 pounds to 310 pounds.  I started really getting aggressive around me not be very antisocial, just getting into stuff. At the time it was different conversations about it and whatnot. And it actually took a lot for me, and

Tony Perez:    15:26    it was around 2010, that I finally started saying, “what’s going on here?” “What’s the issue?” That’s where I found Brazilian Jiu Jitsu, to start letting some of that out and just get back to the road of life.  It was around that time that I started keeping to it.  I need to shake myself off this. But it wasn’t a matter of me going to counseling. And it wasn’t a matter of me talking to people. It was a matter of me recognizing that I was going nowhere very fast. It was at that point that I then said, “Oh, well, let me switch this mindset and apply myself to certain things and let me just apply the things that I’ve learned and see what I can make out of it.’ And that’s where I started competing in Jujitsu and that’s why I started building the company.  I just started throwing everything that I had at the things that I was doing. And then that’s when I started seeing the return. But it wasn’t immediate. It was about six to seven years after getting out where I started to see the things that I wanted in life. That’s important for people to understand.

Scott DeLuzio:    16:23    And the other thing too, along those lines is that a lot of times people will see someone like yourself who has done well for themselves, built a successful company and all this stuff. And they’ll see that and they’ll think, “Oh, well he’s an overnight success because

Tony Perez:  They want it tomorrow.

Scott DeLuzio:  It’s the Amazon prime mindset where they click send or place the order, whatever and they want it on their doorstep tomorrow morning. The reality is that’s not going to happen for most people. I would venture to guess that most people that you would see who are successful are not going to fit in that bucket of truly overnight success where really, it was just a few, few days or hours or you know, maybe a couple of weeks or months of work to get to that point. I don’t think that happens really to anybody.  It’s something that it’s a buildup. You know, it took time. You had to hit a rut and then have to start working your way back out.

Tony Perez:    17:33    I gave a keynote at the Military Influencer conference last year. They invited me out to give a keynote and talk about my history and whatnot. I think it was well received. And in there, one of the slides I have is I talk about the issue that everyone who comes and says, “Oh my gosh, I want the success that you’ve had.”  Whether that’s money or the flexibility you have in your life, et cetera. And I always tell them, I say, “that’s great, I can tell you all about that, but where I prefer you to focus in is in this section.” And I have a chart and it says, “you see this section? You see where I had to Zig, where I had to zag. The emotional toll that that took, the personal challenges you had with your family and your friendship and the dynamics you go with building a team,

Tony Perez:    18:17   let’s talk about those.” Because these little moments of success, they go away. And in fact, once you sign a deal, you do an acquisition, there’s no fanfare, there’s no balloons. Okay, it’s done. That’s it. Everybody says, “Oh, congratulations.” And then they move on. What you need to focus on is really like the work that it takes to get there. So, for instance, Sucuri, Daniel started building that in 2008 in his garage part time, we started in 2010. We didn’t really get movement on that until 2012, 2013 then we got a lot of momentum. Clean Browsing is another great example of how we started talking about this in 2016 we started building it. We didn’t really open it until summer of 2018. There is a journey in everything you do and if you’re only focused or looking purely at that shiny object at the end, you’re never going to get there.

Tony Perez:    19:12    Daniel and I for instance, we focused on the grind. We like to joke and we say, “well, where are we thrive and the things, we like to discuss are the day to day things. The 24-hour days or we’re spending with the late nights. People ask me today all the time, well Tony, “how are you running the group that’s Go Daddy, running Clean Browsing, doing your philanthropic work, racing a Jeep and riding horses and snowboarding and going and shooting guns?” And I’m like, “well, that’s my life. That’s what I enjoy doing.” And so, my day is built up of doing all kinds of different things. But for me, I’m constantly moving. My biggest fear is not moving. My biggest fear is letting that catch up to me and dying, right? I have to continue to move and do different things. And that’s what I have found to keep me from getting into the rut. Because even today, even after the many years that I’ve been out now, I still find myself every now and then when I’m in my lowest of lows, finding myself questioning what am I doing? I haven’t done anything. “Oh my gosh, why am I out? I need to go back in.” It’s crazy.

Scott DeLuzio:    20:21    All these years later and you start those kinds of thoughts like, I want to get back in or I want to go do that stuff. It does get a little bit scary when you think about that, it’s like, I might be better off if I left all this other stuff and went back and did that life.

Tony Perez:    20:39    Well, you know that when we sold the company, that was about three months after that, where you’re just in this weird place, right? You go from having your hand in everything to all of a sudden you have all these teams and it’ll be bad by it, but they’re getting involved in everything and they’re making decisions that you used to be making. And now you have an AP team and an AR team and a finance team, HR team, everyone’s taking different pieces of you and you find yourself, there’s this weird moment where you’re sitting there and you’re like the most depressed you have ever been. And people are like, that doesn’t make any sense, Tony.  You know, some people think about the money, something about the freedom or something about the position. They’re like, “Oh, it’s so amazing”, but you’re just sitting and you’re like, “wow, this really sucks.”

Tony Perez:    21:16    What have I done with my life? Literally, what am I doing with my life? Now where do I fit? I have no place. I have no home. What am I about? I have a taken my purpose away. Like starting the entrepreneurship, I think is one of those awesome things that a lot of vets don’t think about. I think it’s one of those things that I can actually replicate the experiences you had in the core, which is what a lot of people miss, right? The camaraderie, the building when you’re out doing your running details and you get into some shit, right? You build this bond with the people that you’re in with, it’s irreplaceable. Building a company is actually very similar. You go through all these things, right?

Tony Perez:    21:51    It’s a different type of dynamic but when you go through it, you build this bond and somebody takes it away, all of a sudden and you start questioning everything. What’s my purpose? So, that was actually, funny enough, that was in 2017 post acquisition. I found myself in the same situation that I found myself in 2005. I found myself contacting a bunch of recruiters and saying, “I don’t care what, just put me back out. I obviously I don’t belong here anymore.”  Yeah, it was pretty weird. It was pretty weird and pretty gnarly.

Scott DeLuzio:    22:26   That’s an interesting place to be after finding yourself lost and not really knowing what to do. And I’ve talked to other people too, who have been involved in other acquisitions and having similar reactions but they weren’t veterans; so, I don’t think they were calling up recruiters at that point, but they didn’t really know where they fit in the whole scheme of the organization. They went from one day running everything and you can chart and show, to the next day just being another piece of the puzzle of this big giant 50,000-piece puzzle or whatever.

Tony Perez:    23:05    Funny, the Marine Corps is like, “listen devil, like love the spirit, but this is a young man’s game.” I called the Navy. Actually, it was bad when I’m calling the Air Force. I’m like, “what do you guys need?” And it was like, “Oh, I think you’re a little old now.” I’m like, “Oh God, don’t tell me that

Scott DeLuzio:    23:27    That’s when you’re hitting rock bottom, when you contacting the Air Force.  So, I was reading through your blog the other day and I’m actually going to link to it in the show notes because there’s a lot of good stuff in there.  One common theme that I found in a lot of the posts that you had, not all of it is life for leadership or whatever related stuff.  One of the themes that I found in there is that you don’t really fear failing like failure.  You seem to embrace the opportunity to fail, if that makes sense.  It’s not to say that you’re a failure and that you’re, “Oh, I’m just cool with being a dope” or whatever who’s not successful or whatever.

Scott DeLuzio:    24:16    Because that’s not what I mean at all. But I guess you don’t let the setbacks that you might have get you down. And so, you drive through there. Like for example, in one post you’d say, “failing doesn’t scare you but not trying does.”  Then another post you’re talking about how success has little to do with being smart or planning well, things like that but rather having a high degree of stubbornness and not allowing the failure to consume you. So, this just goes to your mindset that you’re talking about, being in the Marines and talking about how you’re not really afraid to fail. I think that is what allowed you to take a risk and take a chance on being an entrepreneur because that’s not without risk for any entrepreneur really.

Tony Perez:    25:11    It’s so weird that you say that, right? Because first off, I never even understood what an entrepreneur was. I think I was at a conference and someone’s like, “Oh, you’re an entrepreneur. I’m like, “what is that?” And I’m like, “well, that’s what you’re doing.” And I had to go home and Google it and whatnot. And I was like, “Oh shit, I’ve never even thought about that. I guess I am an entrepreneur.” And then I was giving another talk to a bunch of veterans and at the end I get off and they’re like, “Oh, man, that was great.” And I’m like, “well, why’d you like that?” And they’re like, “well that’s achievable success.” And I’m like, “what the fuck?” And I was like, “what are you saying?” And then I realized, I was like that’s actually a great compliment, right?

Tony Perez:    25:50    Because what I do is what you described, which is like and I don’t know what it is. And my wife has said somethings wrong with me, but she’s like, the idea of failing just doesn’t cross my mind and then people tell me like, “do you know that this could happen?” And I’m like, “I recognize that it’s there.” I don’t know if I just don’t respect it. In fact, the higher the risk of a failure, the more excited I get about it. That’s just been my personality for a long time now. The fewer people that can do it, the fewer people can accomplish something, the more I want to try to do it. And the thing of it is though, I’m not afraid if I don’t make it. If I don’t do it, I’m cool. For me it was that journey. It was the work. It was the grit that’s required to give it a shot and try it. Like for instance, I’m getting into off road racing, never off road raced in my life.

Tony Perez:    26:49    I thought it was cool and saw a few people do it and it’s so rad that I was like, “well, I’m going to go buy a rig and I’m going to join a team and I’m going to build this up and I’m going to get in the vehicle and I’m going to race it. We ended up doing really well and huge mainly because of the team and the other driver. For me, it’s just an awesome experience. I like to push those limits.  I don’t get hung up on the idea that I could fail.  If I fail, it’s because I allow myself to fail. Like the failure has conditions in which I can control. Right.  Like I said in that one article you are referencing, more than anything, more than being smart, more than anything else it’s pure willpower. One of my colleagues here at Go Daddy always says, “with enough overwhelming pressure you can overcome anything.” And I’m like, I liked that a lot.

Tony Perez:    27:47    And you know, you read back some military history books and you read back like, “what are the things that allowed guys to overcome crazy odds?” Well, it’s their unwillingness to quit. What if he just quit? It’s not a thing that you allowed to happen? I think Chesty once said when he was surrounded on all quarters, he’s like, “yeah this just means that we got him right where we want to try to go at it with them. And I’m like, “that’s one way to look at life.”

Scott DeLuzio:    28:20    I know.  I think it was like now we can just attack in any direction if we’re sort of,

Tony Perez:    28:25    well, we don’t have to worry about it. Right. Who gives a shit about tactics? Just fight.

Scott DeLuzio:    28:37    You talked a little bit about some of the other things that you’re involved in, some of the philanthropic work that you’ve been involved in.  Why don’t you tell us a little bit about some of the organizations you might be involved in?

Tony Perez:    28:53    Last year at the Military Influence Conference, I met up with some Sempra Canine folks. They’re training dogs to help veterans that need it, whether they’ve been wounded or whether they’re going through mental illness or whatnot.  They train these dogs to support them. So, I went ahead and partnered up with them. And for them, it’s just mostly a donation and just making sure that they have what they need. And the other group that I’m working with is the War Horses for Veterans. So, over the past year and a half, two years, I’ve been getting more and more versed in horses. I just think that they’re beautiful animals. And so, I’ve got two partnerships going on with the Sweet Bow Horses, it’s a wild rescue for wild Mustangs here in the U.S. and they’re trying to create a veteran program to help people that are in need that are just struggling, go through their program using horses to facilitate that.

Tony Perez:    29:46    The other group that I’m partner with are the War Horses for Veterans out of Kansas, helping them create an environment where they take combat vets, those that are struggling with PTSD specifically, whether it’s those first responders or combat vets and giving them a safe, quiet space to immerse themselves with the horses and re-find themselves and reconnect with the rest of the world.  Then there was a spiritual resiliency group called the Mighty Oaks Foundation down here in Temecula that is a spiritual resiliency for those struggling with PTSD, whether that’s first responders or combat Vets.  I am working with those guys as well. I don’t know why. I don’t know how I’ve stumbled into that.  It’s just become a thing that I started to do just to donate and help them in whatever ways I can. So, I just enjoy it. I don’t know.

Scott DeLuzio:    30:34    You’re definitely involved in quite a bit as far as all of these different organizations. But it’s really great that there are people out there like you who are willing to support these organizations and help out the veterans who are struggling and it seems like they’re doing really good work with all of this stuff. There is actually a funny story. You’re talking about all the horses and everything. When we are doing our training up to go to Afghanistan, we’re in Louisiana and they had some wild horses out there on the area that we’re training in. There were just wild horses that would go roaming through and we got to one spot in this training exercise that we’re on,

Scott DeLuzio:    31:20    we were just stopped for a little bit and there’s this rumbling coming off in the distance and then you see this whole herd of horses coming towards us and they’re not stopping and they’re just coming towards us. We were like, “Holy shit! we’re about to get run over by all these horses.” And it was a pretty scary experience at that point because we have nowhere really to go. We were all bunched up where we’re at and we couldn’t really get out of there.  They were just not going to stop. They just kept coming. But they ended up going around us and where we were, it was very fortunate that they decided to do that because they probably would’ve just run right over us.

Tony Perez:    32:07 “Oh, we did not plan for this.”

Scott DeLuzio: That was not on the packing list. What to do when the wild horses start coming after you.  You’re also talking about that grit in the crappy situation that’s going on and you just work through it with your team and you get through and you end up getting through it even better on the other side.  In that same area that we were in, we went on a training mission to just go drive around to train the other guys, the newer guys on driving the Humvees and other trucks that we had.

Scott DeLuzio:    32:58    We had this course that we were going to drive on. It was all mapped out there. There it was all laid out for us but we didn’t realize how muddy the ground was and we ended up getting all of our trucks stuck in the mud and we left at like six at night or so. And it wasn’t until well after sunrise the next day that we got all of the trucks unstuck.  They actually had a wrecker come out to where we’re at and that got stuck in the mud. It was like a complete shit show and fortunately, we actually we had axes in the back of the trucks and we went and we just started chopping down trees to use for leverage to get the trucks out and everything.

Scott DeLuzio:    33:48    We completely destroyed the woods there. Actually, we had been off base at this point because we veered off a little bit. There was this little footbridge that looked like someone really dug in. They took some time to make this thing in there. We totally destroyed that and used the wood to put under the wheels to get the trucks out of the mud and everything. We destroyed that whole area. But the reason why I’m saying that is afterwards our entire platoon was on this training mission and we all got so much closer after that. We all came together and that shared suffering, we grinded through the suck, the blisters and the cuts and the everything else trying to work through this problem.

Scott DeLuzio:    34:41    And we all came out so much closer and as much as it sucked during the time, I wouldn’t trade that experience for anything because of how close we became afterwards.  It really helped especially being pre-deployment and everything. Then we deploy overseas and we’re that much closer with everybody and everything like that. So, it really helped. And I think to your point earlier that you were talking about was that you can go through this crappy situation and you can really grind and still come out better on the other side.

Tony Perez:    35:17    Yeah. And what are those things specifically that I appreciate the Corps for, I mean it in many ways.  I love the core and I divorced myself from it as well for whatever reasons. And I never talked much about it. I just always kept in the back of my mind. But what I did was based on the things that I learned around leadership and how you lead teams of people that I had to make some modifications right away with a little bit different, but the principles around leading from the front and being there on the front lines when it gets tough, be the first one there. I can tell you experiences with Sucuri where we would have really bad months where mass compromises as a team, we were small.

Tony Perez:    36:01    And as you know, we weren’t paying a lot. We were still self-funded and we were there and man, we were there together. You know, first one’s on, last one’s off just there with the teams. And I know that the teams really appreciated it, that servitude to leadership and being there for the teams.  Things that the Chesty, at least in our Marine Corps side would always preach the things that I leveraged today in my leadership style. I haven’t perfected in any way, but it’s something that they don’t really teach in schools for a lot of non-military folks. And you see it in the way other teams are led.  That’s one of the things I’m extremely grateful for is being able to take the things that I learned in the military and reapply them and continue to remind myself what was it about, what were the principles, what was the intent and how do people respond? There’s a reason that you teach these things when you’re going to war. If it works in war, it can work in building a company where you’re going into a different kind of war.

Scott DeLuzio:    36:53    There’s a lot of those leadership traits that you learn in the military that sometimes you don’t necessarily think about afterwards because sometimes you might learn how to apply something to a very specific situation in the military, but you don’t realize that it has applications elsewhere outside of the military and running a business is a perfect example of that.  The first one in and then the last one out type of thing and the leaders eat last mentality and things like that is really important when you’re trying to run a business

Tony Perez:    37:33    and the team sees it, they appreciate it.  If they see you do that and they see you lean in, they lean it, right? I believe in this concept of positive peer pressure. So, if I really want something to get done, I could absolutely tell you to do it or I can go do it myself. And then those people that are like, “Oh shit, I should probably be doing that and lean in and do it with you. Right? The people that have the intuition to see that and respond, other people that I wouldn’t to work with, those are the people that say, yes, you understand what I’m trying to get at with cultural that’s lean into that together?

Scott DeLuzio:  Absolutely.

Tony Perez:  I do a lot of that where I won’t tell team members what to do.

Tony Perez:    38:09    I’ll say, okay, that’s great and I’ll just lean up. So, say we’re having a meeting and we’re all sitting there and nobody’s engaging. Well, if it gets to a point where we need to start taking action, I said, okay, I’ll get up and I’ll start taking action until somebody leans in and says, I’ll do it and lean in. Okay. Then I’ll sit down versus saying, you’d get up, you lead this. Right? Because I want to see the people that are going to take the initiative. I want a PC that people who are tomorrow’s leaders because to me, the leadership isn’t defined by their role and who’s the highest paid person in the room, right? It’s the person that,

Tony Perez:    38:36    has those behavioral attributes of a leader. Those are the people that I want to move up.

Scott DeLuzio:  Right? And realistically, this is for any business and not just your business but you’re not necessarily going to be running the ship the whole time. You might have to step away, you might move on to another role or another position or another company.  Where’s that going to leave the company that you started? And if you’re not training those people who are working for you to be able to run the ship and take things over, then you’re basically setting it up for failure. And I couldn’t agree more and then nothing has ever become more evident over the years than ever before which is, I see my responsibility.  I’ll be ensuring that Brad is preserved long after I’m gone. Whether I get hit by a bus or I leave, it’s about building that bench and building those leaders that will continue to drive this much farther than I ever will. That’s a great point.

Scott DeLuzio: So, one question I like to ask people on this show and you can answer this any way you want. It can be funny with a joke or you can be serious or whatever,

Scott DeLuzio:    40:04   What is one of the things that you wish somebody would have told you prior to you joining the military?  Some sort of advice or something like that. And we’ve already talked to other people who have already said “recruiters lie, the Air Force chow was way better” and things like that. So, do you have something different?

Tony Perez: What do I wish that someone would’ve told me before I joined the military?  It was a very different time when I joined. It was pre-war.

Tony Perez:    40:59    it was just a fundamentally different time. The closest war we had had at the time was Desert Storm. And so, I don’t know if I would have appreciated it, but I would have loved to better understand the psychological impacts of being in the military. It’s something that we talk a lot about today. There’s organizations and it’s a real thing. Whatever you want to call that but it is a real thing and it lasts with you for a very

Tony Perez:    41:34    long time. And it’s difficult for people to get their heads around. There’s a stigma behind it and it can hurt you; it cannot. And as an individual, I don’t know if I would have been mature enough to appreciate what it meant. I think I would’ve been naive enough to be like, “Oh, it won’t happen to me.”  I think some understanding that this is an investment that’s going to stay with you for whether you’re with them for a year, with them five years, 20 years, that will go a long time and you can make good of it or you can make bad of it, right? You can let it consume you or you can let it help you grow. I think some conversation around that would’ve been really good.  When I am mature enough to appreciate it, I can go back and say, “shit, I’ve got to remember that. Especially when I’m in my darkest moments.”  So yeah, I would say that.

Scott DeLuzio:    42:28   I could imagine something like that would have been useful.  After you got out and you were in that rut, to think back on it and be like, “okay, well I’ve got to kick my own ass out of this rut and how am I going to get there?”

Tony Perez:    42:43    Yeah. But it’s timeless advice, right? It’s one of those things that applies to every single time I hit a rut, which happens all the time and even to this day, sometimes I’m still getting into it. And that reminder in the back of your head can be really helpful because I know a lot of guys have not been as fortunate as myself where I was able to recognize and pull myself out.  I just think that it could be really helpful. And then again, these days the conversation is very different. So, at that time and what we were going through, that could’ve been very helpful these days. Everybody’s talking about it; it’s out there, people know it. It’s interesting. I just hope we remember it 20 years from now.

Scott DeLuzio:    43:23    Even the fact that you’re saying it now is really good because there could be somebody who’s listening to this who is thinking about joining and they could take that in and then when they get out 10, 20 however many years from now they can have that piece of advice with them. So, it’s still good. Even though people are talking about it, man, it’s good to have that.

Tony Perez:    43:50    And I would say for anybody that’s listening, it’s more along the lines of look, “being part of something as amazing as the U S military or any military is one of those things that are going to dramatically change your life. And you just have to be physically, mentally and spiritually prepared for that.” Understand that the things you learn can have a dramatic impact in the things that you do to this world long after you get out. That’s the thing that I would probably tell people that I’m thinking about joining and then if they want examples, you dive into it.  I think that’s important for people to understand and appreciate.

Scott DeLuzio:    44:27    Absolutely. And I think that’s really great advice to have. It looks like we’re coming up on time here anyways, so probably a good place to wrap up.  Tony, would you want to maybe tell people where they can learn a little bit more about you and what you do, maybe a place online that they might be able to find you? Yeah, for sure, man.  It’s really easy. Just look me up out of PerezBox.  I’ve had that handle for a long time across a bunch of mediums if you want to connect just hook me up.

Scott DeLuzio:  Awesome. All right. Thank you very much. All right.

Tony Perez: Take care. All right. Take care.

Scott DeLuzio:    45:07    Thanks for listening to the Drive On Podcast. If you want to check out more episodes or learn more about the show, you can visit our website, DriveOnPodcast.com we’re on Facebook, Twitter, and Instagram @DriveOnPodcast.

]]> 00:45:28 <![CDATA[Soldier, Military Spouse, And Mother On Deployments With A Newborn]]> Tue, 05 Nov 2019 08:00:54 +0000 Scott DeLuzio https://drive-on-podcast.castos.com/podcasts/2296/episodes/soldier-military-spouse-and-mother-on-deployments-with-a-newborn Natalie talks about some of the struggles she faced as a new mom who gave birth to her first child just before her husband was deployed. She was able to lean on the support network on base through Facebook groups and classes as well as nearby family to help her out.]]> full 23 false Natalie talks about some of the struggles she faced as a new mom who gave birth to her first child just before her husband was deployed. She was able to lean on the support network on base through Facebook groups and classes as well as nearby family to help her out.]]> 00:33:49 <![CDATA[Finding Purpose Through Yoga And Music]]> Tue, 29 Oct 2019 01:00:38 +0000 Scott DeLuzio https://drive-on-podcast.castos.com/podcasts/2296/episodes/finding-purpose-through-yoga-and-music Steve Alvarez served in the Connecticut Army National Guard and deployed to both Iraq and Afghanistan during his military career.

After getting out and struggling with finding his place in the civilian world, he came to the conclusion that there is life outside of the military. At first, civilian life seemed wrong, but he came to realize that it wasn’t wrong, just different from what he was used to.

Steve found various activities helped him readjust back into civilian life, including Brazilian Ju Jitsu, Yoga, and being the vocalist in a Melodic Metalcore band.

He also became the first Yoga instructor to go through his yoga school who used his Post 9/11 GI Bill benefits. In doing so, he helped pioneer a way for veterans to use their federal benefits going through to become yoga instructors. Practicing yoga and becoming an instructor helped not only physically, but also opened him up to become a more compassionate and positive thinker.

Links & Resources

Transcript

Scott DeLuzio:    00:03    Hi everybody. This is the Drive On Podcast where we talk about issues affecting veterans after they get out of the military. I’m your host, Scott DeLuzio and now let’s get on with the show.

Scott DeLuzio:    00:15    Hey everyone, thanks for tuning into the Drive On Podcast.  Before we get started, I just wanted to take a minute to ask a quick favor from the people who are listening.  The point of this podcast is to help veterans through sharing stories like the one we’re about to hear today.  But it can’t really help if no one hears the story. So, if you would, hit pause for a second and head on over to Drive On Podcast/subscribe where you can find links to subscribe to the show and review the show on your favorite podcasting app. And if you wouldn’t mind taking a second to share the podcast on social media or even directly to a friend who you think might benefit by listening to the podcast, I’d really appreciate it. All right, so today my guest is Steve Alvarez.  We served together in the Connecticut Army National Guard and we deployed together to Afghanistan in 2010.  That wasn’t his only trip to the Middle East, which I’m sure he’ll discuss here in a bit. Steve, welcome to the show.  Why don’t you introduce yourself for anyone who doesn’t know you and let people know who you are.

Steve Alvarez:    01:18    How you doing, Scott? First of all, man, thanks a lot for having me here and it’s really good to hear your voice and I feel it’s an honor to be on this show first and foremost. I really appreciate this.  You pretty much hit the nail on the head with the introductions.  I’m Steve Alvarez, I served from July 27th of 1999 until July 27th of 2016.  I left the military as an E6 Staff Sergeant and I rose up through the ranks from private E nothing all the way up to Staff Sergeant. I took many roles throughout the military and the military was my full-time job. Like Scott said, Scott and I deployed back to Afghanistan together in 2010. And before that I went to Iraq from January of 2004 was the MOB up until May of 2005.

Scott DeLuzio:    02:20    Awesome.  So anyways,

Scott DeLuzio:    02:30    part of the show, we like to talk about the struggles that some vets have gone through and some of the ways that they work their way out of those struggles and in the coping mechanisms and all those ty...

]]> full 22 false Steve Alvarez served in the Connecticut Army National Guard and deployed to both Iraq and Afghanistan during his military career.

After getting out and struggling with finding his place in the civilian world, he came to the conclusion that there is life outside of the military. At first, civilian life seemed wrong, but he came to realize that it wasn’t wrong, just different from what he was used to.

Steve found various activities helped him readjust back into civilian life, including Brazilian Ju Jitsu, Yoga, and being the vocalist in a Melodic Metalcore band.

He also became the first Yoga instructor to go through his yoga school who used his Post 9/11 GI Bill benefits. In doing so, he helped pioneer a way for veterans to use their federal benefits going through to become yoga instructors. Practicing yoga and becoming an instructor helped not only physically, but also opened him up to become a more compassionate and positive thinker.

Links & Resources

Transcript

Scott DeLuzio:    00:03    Hi everybody. This is the Drive On Podcast where we talk about issues affecting veterans after they get out of the military. I’m your host, Scott DeLuzio and now let’s get on with the show.

Scott DeLuzio:    00:15    Hey everyone, thanks for tuning into the Drive On Podcast.  Before we get started, I just wanted to take a minute to ask a quick favor from the people who are listening.  The point of this podcast is to help veterans through sharing stories like the one we’re about to hear today.  But it can’t really help if no one hears the story. So, if you would, hit pause for a second and head on over to Drive On Podcast/subscribe where you can find links to subscribe to the show and review the show on your favorite podcasting app. And if you wouldn’t mind taking a second to share the podcast on social media or even directly to a friend who you think might benefit by listening to the podcast, I’d really appreciate it. All right, so today my guest is Steve Alvarez.  We served together in the Connecticut Army National Guard and we deployed together to Afghanistan in 2010.  That wasn’t his only trip to the Middle East, which I’m sure he’ll discuss here in a bit. Steve, welcome to the show.  Why don’t you introduce yourself for anyone who doesn’t know you and let people know who you are.

Steve Alvarez:    01:18    How you doing, Scott? First of all, man, thanks a lot for having me here and it’s really good to hear your voice and I feel it’s an honor to be on this show first and foremost. I really appreciate this.  You pretty much hit the nail on the head with the introductions.  I’m Steve Alvarez, I served from July 27th of 1999 until July 27th of 2016.  I left the military as an E6 Staff Sergeant and I rose up through the ranks from private E nothing all the way up to Staff Sergeant. I took many roles throughout the military and the military was my full-time job. Like Scott said, Scott and I deployed back to Afghanistan together in 2010. And before that I went to Iraq from January of 2004 was the MOB up until May of 2005.

Scott DeLuzio:    02:20    Awesome.  So anyways,

Scott DeLuzio:    02:30    part of the show, we like to talk about the struggles that some vets have gone through and some of the ways that they work their way out of those struggles and in the coping mechanisms and all those types of things. So, if you don’t mind sharing a little bit about your background and maybe some of the struggles that you went through, either during your time in the military, during that time period, because that certainly was a significant length of time to be in the military. And especially with two deployments, you had some stuff going on, I’m sure.  Even after the military, after getting out, I’m sure a lot of people have transition issues and things like that. So, I’m thinking that maybe there might’ve been some of those types of things, too. So, what were some of those struggles that maybe you went through that you might want to share with the people who are listening?

Steve Alvarez:    03:27    Well, the biggest struggle I have now when I look back at it as I see myself when I was younger is that I didn’t have much perspective, at best.  I was very [young] when I enlisted at 17 years old, I was very tunnel vision [focused], pretty much through the next 15, 16 years of my life. I’d say the biggest thing and one of the struggles about getting out was just figuring it out again and just really trying to figure out where to start and really trying to find who you truly are. That was a huge driver.

Scott DeLuzio:    04:15    Yeah, I can definitely relate to that. Also, through this podcast and talking to other veterans, I found that you’re not unique with that. There are definitely other veterans who felt the same type of a thing when they got out that you’re in the military and your day to day is basically planned for you. You wake up at a certain time, you do PT at a certain time, you come in, come into work at a certain time, you leave work in a certain time, and everything is pretty much laid out for you. And when you get out, it’s just kind of like, eh, do whatever the hell you want. You want to wake up at this time, cool. If you don’t then don’t and do whatever. And it’s very unstructured. And I think a lot of people, especially veterans who are just getting out, struggle with that quite a bit, that lack of structure that comes from there.

Steve Alvarez:    05:15    I 100% agree. It was because you’re left to your own vices and you’re left to your own free will. But even in the military, throughout your time in the military, even guys that were in Guard that did one weekend a month and two weeks in the summer and even guys deployed for lack of better words, it’s like even if you’re in a rut, if you feel like you’re distracted by something, no matter what, there’s always somebody there to gut check you in saying “no matter what’s happening in your life, you’ve got to think about the mission and you really have to push a lot of things away personally.” And then when you get out into the regular world, do you realize that

Steve Alvarez:    06:01    there’s very few people in your life now that can go ahead and tell you that “Hey, think about their mission?” Because now it’s a whole other mission and you’re dealing with emotions, you’re dealing with frustration and aggravation because obviously, it’s probably a love/hate relationship most of the times coming out of the military and you’re dealing with aggravation of civilian world and the way the world works. A lot of times I think guys, well at least me personally, what my struggle was that I was pointing the finger out a lot and just saying this is wrong, you guys are wrong. This is wrong. And I think it came to a point where I matured and I started saying, “hold on a minute.”

Steve Alvarez:    06:49    This is a way I had to think in order to do certain jobs and perform certain tasks like this and that was one phase in my life. So, it was almost like a growing up period. You’ve seen pictures recently of my beard and hair and

Scott DeLuzio:  definitely not the clean-cut guy that you were.

Steve Alvarez: No, I definitely had to completely divest myself and let go of all inhibitions and just open my mind more. As soon as that started to happen, you started realizing that there is actually a life outside of the military. These people aren’t wrong or this ideal isn’t wrong or anything like that. It’s just different. That was where I would say the biggest mindset is in the military when we were in is what’s right and wrong. Where now in the civilian world there is different and then there’s different. There is no real right or wrong really with anything.  That was one of my biggest struggles right there, which was just dealing with

Steve Alvarez:    08:10    pointing the finger out instead of looking in and seeing what had to be fixed within me.

Scott DeLuzio:    08:14    Right. And the strange thing too, and I’ve talked about this with some other people before too, is that we all were civilians at one point. We all came from a place where we had no military background. We had no basic training drilled into us. We had none of that. That stuff really drove into us. And then all of a sudden, we come out of the military and it’s like a whole new world that we feel like we’ve never seen before.  However long you were in, whether it was five years or 10 years, 20 years, whatever it is, if you look back that far, you used to live that way, you used to live in that same civilian world where you didn’t have the military background that you’re so used to right now.

Scott DeLuzio:    08:58    So it’s like you said, it’s looking into yourself and re-centering or refocusing, whatever you want to call it, to get yourself back to that time that you were, but I’m not saying forget about all your experiences or whatever, but get yourself back into that mindset of how you lived your life before.  Take some of the good from your military experience and carry that along with you as well, some of the discipline and other things like that.  Definitely, to anyone who’s listening, you’re not alone with that. That is definitely a big common issue that people do have. And I wish I had a better answer in terms of how do you get over that. But maybe you have a something that you’ve done to help yourself work through some of those issues or anything like that?

Steve Alvarez:    10:03    Yeah, honestly what happened with me, it was probably about three and a half years ago. I was on a lot of medications coming out of the VA immediately when I ETS out of service and I had gotten contacted by the VA and at that time I wasn’t too good with my diet. I was depressed really bad. I had a lot of emotions carrying on from years and years of baggage. And I got a phone call one day from the doctor and the doctor pretty much told me that I had levels in my blood that were so high that I could have a stroke at any moment. I mean, like the doctor pretty much said, “I’ve only had to call two patients ever in my 27-year career to yell at them like this but whatever you’re doing, you need to stop.”

Steve Alvarez:    11:06    And then at that point, I just looked at myself and I said, you know what, I have to figure this out because at that point I had my kids and I was going through a lot of depression, just a lot of stuff that everybody goes through. I don’t have to go down that rabbit hole but I really had to go ahead and give myself a gut check and I started looking at a healthier way of life. I stopped taking a lot of medications that were prescribed to me for, (at that time I was diagnosed right around my ETS with diabetes and a whole host of other ailments). I just gave up the pharmaceuticals and I got on a really good strict regimen of dieting and I started working out again in martial arts.

Steve Alvarez:    12:00     I have previous martial arts experience and I started training in Brazilian Jujitsu and that was the foundation. One month turned into two months really watching, focusing on my diet, not drinking, just really watching what I was doing health wise and really getting into it and really dropping all the pharmaceuticals. And each month I kept feeling better and better and better. I sleep, I kept sleeping better. And then I started doing small things that would chin check me in the morning. So, even now on my phone at a seven o’clock every single morning, 0700, I have an alarm set that says be grateful for five things in your life. Okay?  I started changing my attitude. I started looking at my attitude instead of more like a fatalistic attitude. Because we can become very cynical through experiences going overseas especially as some listeners out there, I know that have been deployed probably seven, eight times that’s a lot, man. And you get really cynical of the world because of your experiences, unfortunately. And that’s no fault to you and that’s no fault of the world either.

Scott DeLuzio:    13:24    I think that that’s actually a coping mechanism to some extent with all the bad stuff that you see when you’re deployed and that you go through and experience, the cynicism is almost a way to cope with that. And almost in a way, maybe not make it so real so you’re not normally you would probably be so down and depressed by seeing all of this bad stuff. But if you are having a more cynical attitude, maybe it protects you in a way. I’m not sure.

Steve Alvarez:    14:05    Yeah. I fully believe it because the thing is that when you suffer amounts of trauma, when you suffer trauma. I mean your body goes into a natural protective state and you’re going to figure out how to grow tough skin because you don’t want to feel vulnerable because you’re not ready to deal with that trauma yet. So, when I had the phone call from the doctor, that was the gut check and I really had to let go of like a lot of the cynicism I had and just really just have a more positive outlook on life. More like I changed my mission; that’s exactly the way I look at it. I changed my mission. I refocused and my purpose, a lot of guys that I’ve spoken to personally, when they come out, a lot of them are like, “Hey man, I feel like I don’t have a purpose or whatever.”

Steve Alvarez:    14:56    But in reality, it’s like we all have a purpose. It doesn’t matter whether you’re purposing one friend or whether you’re a janitor, whether you’re a sports announcer, whatever you like, you have a purpose and as soon as I actually started telling myself that and I started coming out of the funk; now trust me Scott, it’s peaks and valleys. You know what I mean? I’m not sitting here telling you that it’s all sunshine and roses because I do have my bouts but the more you become aware that “Hey man, I’ve been through some stuff, I really got to deal with that and I really got to deal with why I’m acting the way I’m acting. I really got to deal with why I feel the way I feel.”

Steve Alvarez:    15:49    I really got to deal with just how I am. And the thing is, is that through that, through that deep dive into that; however, you want to do it, whether it be a therapy, whether it be just coping with a friend, whatever method you choose healthy wise. Now let me just caveat that healthy, right?  You really have to come back to finding who you really are through all that. You know what I mean? And in order to do that, you have to work through all that stuff, you know? And as soon as you do that, you can go in and as soon as you go ahead and forgive yourself and say, “you know what, it’s all right that I can be angry every once in a while.” Because for me, every time I would get angry or every time I get frustrated, it almost seemed like I was getting even more frustrated that I couldn’t calm down.

Steve Alvarez:    16:41    But almost like jet fuel.

Scott DeLuzio:  It’s like an endless cycle. You’re angry over this one thing and then your anger, that you can’t calm down, and then that because you’re not calming down, you’re getting angrier and just keep on cycling through that and it’s definitely not a helpful situation.

Steve Alvarez: The internal dialogue would be like, why am I letting this beat me, this and that. Almost taking a very brute stance to it. When I started changing my mindset and saying, Steve, it’s okay to be angry right now, man. It’s all right and just take five minutes and be angry. Like, dude, I swear as soon as I started focusing it, it’s all right that this is happening; instead of trying to fight it, it almost became easier to let it go. And then over the years things that would go ahead and send me into a world of poopville now I just brush off. Because I pick and choose my battles now. Like I said, it’s peaks and valleys, but I’m sure it’s tough. It’s

Steve Alvarez:    17:50    tough at times, you know?

Scott DeLuzio: Yeah. And it’s probably the longer you stay this course, it’s probably easier to get out of those valleys than it was way back when you were first got out when you were getting into these valleys and it’s almost like you’re down in this huge deep trench and you just weren’t able to climb back out or if were you’re slipping along the way. So, it maybe took you a little bit longer to get out.  I read a book a couple months ago, it’s called Atomic Habits and it  goes along the lines of what you were talking about,  in terms of making these little changes that doesn’t change necessarily overnight but changing your attitude towards how you perceive things that you were getting angry at or whatever.

Scott DeLuzio:    18:41    Those little tiny changes that you make, maybe it’s changing your attitude towards this one little thing that’s getting you angry and then the next day you change your attitude towards something else. And you’re not making wholesale changes right off the bat but you’re making these little tiny changes and eventually those changes become habit and it makes it that much easier to cope with whatever the issues are that you’re having as you go through.  Because it’s now just how you deal with things, it’s part of who you are and how you identify with yourself. Basically, I’m not the type of person who flips their lid over this thing that used to get me upset. I’m the type of person who now sees it for what it is and yeah, it sucks, but you know I’ll be mad about it for a couple minutes and then I’ll move on because I realize that it’s not all that important.

Steve Alvarez:    19:42    Absolutely. And the best part about that, too is like that thought now that progressive thinking, it’s like you put your character into that, your true character. I think another big struggle I had coming out, too was lack of compassion. I don’t think there’s any more going into that, whatever a definition was just compassion, it wasn’t out there.

Scott DeLuzio:    20:10    Yeah, I completely can relate to that as well. I feel like I might’ve struggled a little bit with that as well going through that.  I know you’ve been up to a few different things going on and I think some of these things we haven’t really talked about.  I’m taking a leap here with my assumptions and I could be totally off but I think some of these things might fall in line with some of the stuff that you were talking about in terms of the activities that you might’ve been doing to help you out. You know, getting through some of these issues.  Recently, I saw that you’re involved with a yoga studio. You’re doing some stuff at that studio. Do you want to talk a little bit about that and how that might play in, too?

Steve Alvarez:    21:05    Absolutely.  Just to backtrack a little bit, I had made mention of doing a Brazilian jujitsu. Now, I’ve been doing it, like I said, since pretty much since I got that news. So, roughly about three and a half years going now. And I had suffered a back injury probably about a year into it. It was recommended to me by the doctor that to get into more movement into more stretching. So, at that point, I had started watching some YouTube videos on some yoga and I was doing it in the living room and I’m like, “I’m going to give this a shot.” I started to notice improvements virtually immediately.  Then I was like, “well, this is interesting.” So, I started taking a couple community classes here and there and then I just fell in love with it.

Steve Alvarez:    22:00    And at that point, by sheer happenstance, a colleague of my wife at work who’s affiliated with the yoga school that I now am an alumnus of.  She mentioned to her saying, “Hey, have you ever had Steve try out yoga? Melanie’s made mention to her before about my trauma and dealing with such and so on. And at that time, I was doing jujitsu but it was almost like it was working but it was like there still needed, it was like you had a “chili” going on, but it still needed that little bit of something going.

Scott DeLuzio:  That is the best analogy.

Steve Alvarez: I’ll go into why jujitsu I feel personally pivotal for veterans especially. But, at that moment, she had a suggested that. A long story forward, I went to this open house and it was at West Hartford yoga in Connecticut and I sat in a circle and everybody just gave their story of why they were there and introduced themselves a little bit and they were handing out pamphlets and you know the course was a six-month long course.

Steve Alvarez:    23:23    You have to dedicate one weekend each month. And it’s to really dive into learning how to not only instruct yoga but a lot of the philosophy behind yoga and a lot of the teachings and the ways and the mindsets. And I wouldn’t even say mindsets, but the opinions, just a lot of different writings and so on and so forth. So, I realize how much it actually costs. And I was like, “Whoa, okay. So, I have to figure something out.” And then my wife came up with the idea, “Hey, why don’t you try having your federal benefits for your GI bill?” Because we have the post 9/11 GI bill. And I was like, you know what, I’ll give it a shot. So, I contacted the VA, I gave them the program. And long story short, I’m now a year and a half later, I graduated that school.

Steve Alvarez:    24:19    I was the first veteran to go through that school and help pioneer a way for veterans to use their federal benefits going through to be yoga instructors.  It opened my eyes to a lot.  Like I said, a compassion and about a positive way of thinking.  It helped me health-wise with blood flow, all the little aches and pains and I know a lot of listeners are probably suffering from as we speak. You know, if you’re adjusting yourself in the chair your lower back, if you have problems with your knees or whatever, all the way up to GI issues. Scott, I kid you not, doing yoga has taken my life and just put it over the saddle for me. It just helped.

Scott DeLuzio:    25:07    It probably helps mentally too in terms of not being like, “I can’t believe my back is hurting, my knees are hurting, my whatever is hurting. I’m not this 65-year old guy or 70-year old guy or whatever that is going to just expect to have all these aches and pains at that point. You’re young enough and you shouldn’t be having all those aches and pains and that probably takes a toll mentally on you as well. But you know, now that things are improving for you in terms of the physical health, it probably improves the mental health as well.

Steve Alvarez:    25:45    Oh, a thousand-fold. And I mean, what’s great about both yoga and Brazilian jujitsu is that both practices put you in a very cathartic state because you force yourself to have to live in the moment, you know what I mean? And that’s a lot of what we have to do in the military. You have to live for the moment, no matter what’s going on at home, no matter what’s going on in your financial life, your love life, your social life, if you’re on mission, none of that matters. And you have to have a focus on the moment. And those are my healthy releases for that and it still trains my brain and it still makes me feel that.  Also, with yoga combined with it the thinking of yoga, now it is instead of just getting upset about things that aren’t in your control, just accepting things that are in your control.

Steve Alvarez:    26:43    You know what I mean? Like you were saying before you blow your top or something before that, now you would just look at an except for what it is and just say, “Hey, there’s nothing I can do about it.” Let’s say you backed into a guy’s car two months after getting home from Afghanistan. You’re going to flip out and you’re going to be like, “Holy creeps!” You know, this is ridiculous. Now you’re just going to back up and say, “damn, that sucks. Well, good thing I have insurance, I’m going to take a picture of it. It’s all set.”

Scott DeLuzio:    27:13    And it’s a much healthier way, from mental health anyways, perspective, much healthier way to deal with it and instead of just completely flipping out on whatever it is.

Steve Alvarez:    27:25    Absolutely. It just feels better.

Scott DeLuzio:    27:29    Yeah, exactly. It does.  Let’s talk music. Condition Zero. Do you want to talk a little bit about that?

Steve Alvarez:    27:39    Yes sir, I do.  If you guys want to follow us, we’re at @conditionzerometal on Instagram.  You can follow us there. I just had to put in that plug. Thanks, Scott. These four guys that I’m with in this band and some melodic metal core band. I am the vocalist and these four guys that I’m with, we really believe in our story, our way.  These guys are probably one of the other reasons why I’m still living and I’m still here. These guys helped me get through a lot and they encourage me from an artistic side and going back to readings of Changzhou and the Art of War and so on and so forth, most warriors going throughout history up until the modern-day American army warrior or service warrior.

Steve Alvarez:    28:40     There’s a lot of history of warrior poets and while I was in yoga, I did a lot of writings because a lot of my assignments in yoga had to do a lot of reflection of your life and have to do a lot of writings on that. I continued that writing project; now we were in a project before, it was called Morris and I filled in for the lead singer and that project had ended and then we had started this project. We released in December and it’s a great ride. It allows me and allows these guys to just be who we want to be on stage. And I think that’s like the cake topper. It’s like boom. I allow myself to just be what I want to be in the moment.

Steve Alvarez:    29:31    And if you’re noticing the pattern of all three of them, it’s in the moment.  Because there’s a lot of stuff going around you. I’ve got two kids, I’m married, I’ve got a career, you know what I mean? I get bills, the dog and all this relies on you. And I think, to be perfectly honest with you, through all that and these four guys, they’re so pinnicle and me being here in my life, that’s awesome. I love every one of them. And to be honest with you, they’re close. They’re as close to me as the guys were in the military for me. And none of them are Vets either and it’s just, we ride together and we have our ups and our downs as any band would. But we are the genuine brotherly love there and all that brings it back to it.

Steve Alvarez:    30:26    For me, in order to live in these moments, I really had to push other moments away after I dealt with them.  I still go through therapy now.  It’s 100% healthy. I have no shame in saying that I go to therapy; sometimes I attend more than one session a week and if that’s what’s needed to be done, then so be it and that’s okay and it’s okay to go ahead and let those feelings out. I think a lot of times being in the military, we get so macho and we beat our chest so much. We forget that there are healthy ways to release this and talking and there’s no need to be tough anymore when you get out.  What are you going to hold the frontline of your front yard?

Scott DeLuzio:  Stay off the grass!

Steve Alvarez:    31:12    Exactly. You’re going to be out there with your hose and you know what a rake “stay away.”  There’s a time and a place for where we were. It echoes in my head constantly. The movie, we were soldiers once and young.  We were soldiers once and young. We were young, we had our purpose there. Now we have a new purpose. What I encourage people is if you feel like you don’t have a direction, trust me, it’s there. You just have to go ahead and repurpose your thought. That’s all you have to do. You just go ahead and you really got to come to terms. I think that was one of the biggest hurdles was coming to terms with

Steve Alvarez:    32:01    I am no longer in the military. I am no longer in the world’s most destructive and most powerful fighting force.

Scott DeLuzio:  You don’t need to be that guy?

Steve Alvarez:  You don’t need to be that person anymore. And that’s okay. So, that’s forgiveness. It’s all right but make no mistake, still find healthy outlets, still train, if you need the train, boxing, martial arts, if you like to go shooting, fine. Whatever helps, your fine. But remember though, that purpose that you’re doing that is you just fulfill that need. It’s not a purpose anymore. Your purposes, whatever it is, that you’re meant to be. You can be a janitor, have a purpose, you just have to figure out what your purpose is and just have to accept it and just know that you’re awesome, I guess.

Scott DeLuzio:    33:06    I got you there.  All right, one last question before we wrap this up.  I like to ask that to everyone that I have on the show.  You can answer this however you want. If you want to lighten things up with a joke or you want to be serious, whatever it’s cool. However, you want to answer it. There’s no wrong answer here. So, the question is, “Is there anything that you wish someone would have told you before you joined the military?”

Steve Alvarez    33:31    Okay.

Scott DeLuzio:    33:34    And what advice or things

Scott DeLuzio:    33:36    that you could have taken through your career or whatever?

Steve Alvarez:    33:42    Oh man, that’s a tough one because for as much as I probably would have told myself that it’s going to suck a lot more than it’s awesome. I would’ve told myself the 99% to one. Now I was given this speech by captain Steve McQueeney at the time. We were cold as F leaning against, I don’t know if I could swear on the podcast, it was cold as fuck. Like I couldn’t feel my feet and he gave me the speech and the speech like rings through and through to me. To me it’s a 99% to one realize that 99% of the time the military is going to fucking suck. It is. You’re getting up at four o’clock in the fucking morning. Why? I don’t know. Like you’re walking into one place to be there at 6:00 AM not to move until 11:00 AM.

Steve Alvarez:    34:43    Why? I don’t know.  You have to burn shit like you’re getting yelled at and it fucking sucks. You’re away from home. You shared a port-a-potty, you’re in an open area, pooping right next to your best friend or whatever. You’re farting. Your guys are joking. Everybody’s making fun of each other. There are guys fighting. All that shit sucks. But at one point or another when you were in the army, you’re going to go ahead, especially when you’re around 18 or 19 years old and you’re going to be in a helicopter and you’re going to be like, “I cannot believe I’m getting paid for this shit.”

Scott DeLuzio:    35:24    I know. I remember I was in basic training and we were doing the 50 Cal range and I was sitting there and I was rocking away and I was like, “I can’t believe they’re actually paying me right now to sit here and just shoot a machine gun down range and just start destroying some stuff.” Oh, that was like the greatest time.

Steve Alvarez:    35:43    Absolutely. In that spec of time, all that shit burning, farts, smelling joke cracking, fights, fist fight, having all that bullshit didn’t matter.

Scott DeLuzio:    35:54    No.

Steve Alvarez:    35:55    It’s that moment in time. It’s the same way, you finally get oversees for those listeners who have been over to the box before, when you finally get over there, especially like all of us had been there if you get into it,

Steve Alvarez:    36:11    none of that shit matters that you just had to spend the last three days inventorying a vehicle or getting the comms right in the fucking trucks. Or dealing with the fact that there’s big ass camel spiders in the fucking bathrooms and you don’t want to go take a shit.

Scott DeLuzio:    36:28    Yeah.

Steve Alvarez:    36:32    You forget about that. You forget about every bit of that. And for that moment it’s like all of it was worth it. So, all the 99% bullshit to 1% awesomeness, just remember. But that 1% awesomeness is really fucking awesome.

Scott DeLuzio:    36:50    Yeah, it is.

Steve Alvarez:  What I can tell my younger self is, take a lot of the takeaways

Steve Alvarez:    36:59    from the 1% instead of focusing on the 99%.

Scott DeLuzio:    37:03    There you go. So, focus on the good.

Steve Alvarez:    37:06    That’s throughout life.

Scott DeLuzio:    37:10    That’s awesome.  That is an awesome takeaway to have for that.  Great advice to anyone who might be listening who is about to join the military or early enough on in their career.  That’s great advice to have that it’s going to suck a lot and I can attest to that as well as it does suck a lot. Not just your personal experience, it does suck a lot but there is some good in there and you’ll find the good and focus on that. Remember those things and move on from there and just let the other crap just roll off. Well, it looks like we’re coming up on time here for this episode. But thank you again for joining me and sharing your story and everything else that we talked about today. That was really great! I’m going to have links to all this stuff that we talked about in the show notes.  Anyone who’s looking for resources or whatever, I’ll have links in the show notes and so, thank you again.

Steve Alvarez:    38:21    Thank you so much, Scott. It was an honor being on the show. If there’s any of our brothers that we were with and are listening, I love every one of you guys; feel free to reach out.  All the listeners, just remember there’s always hope and

Steve Alvarez:    38:36    yeah, “drive on man!” Mission is the purpose.

Scott DeLuzio:  All right, thank you.

Scott DeLuzio:    38:47    Thanks for listening to the Drive On Podcast. If you want to check out more episodes or learn more about the show, you can visit our website, DriveOnPodcast.com we’re on Facebook, Twitter, and Instagram at @DriveOnPodcast.

]]> 00:39:07 <![CDATA[The VFW – Not Your Grandpa’s Drinking Club]]> Tue, 22 Oct 2019 01:00:54 +0000 Scott DeLuzio https://drive-on-podcast.castos.com/podcasts/2296/episodes/the-vfw-not-your-grandpas-drinking-club Marc Garduno is the state commander of the Delaware VFW. Marc joins us on the show to talk about the benefits of being a VFW member.

Many veterans from the more recent wars associate the VFW with their grandparents generation – like an old man’s drinking club.

Marc tells us that nothing could be further from the truth.

The VFW is also involved in a lot of important legislation that affects veterans. Everything from Agent Orange, Burn Pits, and other veteran health care needs. To expanding GI Bill benefits, and Widow’s Survivor Benefit Plans.

The biggest takeaway for me though was that a lot of veterans feel like they are missing out on the community environment that they had while serving in the military. That group of like minded individuals who just “get it”. The VFW can be a resource where you can connect with other vets in your area (no matter where in the world you are living).

Transcript

Scott DeLuzio:    00:00    Hey everybody, this is the Drive On Podcast where we’ve talked about issues affecting veterans after they get out of the military. I’m your host, Scott DeLuzio, and now let’s get on with the show. Hey everyone, thanks for tuning in to the Drive On Podcast today. My guest is Mark Garduno from the state of Delaware, where he’s the commander of the VFW.  He’s here today to talk a little bit about the VFW and the wide array of projects that they’re involved in that assist veterans as they transition from military to civilian life. So, Mark, thanks for joining me. Why don’t you tell us a little bit about yourself and what you do with the VFW?

Marc Garduno:    00:45    Wonderful. Thanks Scott. First of all, I’ll just thank you so much for the opportunity to be with you on your podcast. It’s really a great opportunity to showcase the Veterans of Foreign Wars and what we do in the community, what we do for veterans and their families.  I joined the military. I went into the Army in 1987 just about two months to the day after I graduated from high school. So, I’m already in boots at that point. I went to Fort Knox, Kentucky and I served in human resources field. I ended up retiring as a Chief Warrant Officer 3 in Human Resources back in 2008. Great experience.  I don’t second guess it; I don’t regret anything. It’s made me the person who I am. A better leader, a better organizer, a person as a whole involved in the community and wanting to give back to veterans

Marc Garduno:    01:37     just as the country has given to me.  I’m originally from a small town in Northern New Jersey, just outside of New York City called Richfield Park.  There, I went to Richfield Park High School and like I said, I went into the military from there. After service, I’ve settled down here in Delaware and as you mentioned before, I’m serving as the state commander for the Veterans of Foreign Wars here in the state of Delaware. I have three full grown children. The youngest one just graduated from college in the Spring, and I have a wonderful, supportive wife who, I don’t know who I would be or what I’d be doing without her. So that’s me in a nutshell.

Scott DeLuzio:    02:20    Great. I think I can probably echo that same sort of sentiment with my wife. I don’t know really where I’d be or who I’d be without her. So, to me anyways that is something that strikes home a little bit there. So, great. So, we know a little bit about you and your background and one of the things that I wanted to talk to you about, especially with regards to the VFW and the newer era of veterans that are coming out of Iraq and Afghanistan. Out of those Wars is the common misconceptions that a lot of the younger veterans have about the VFW. I know, for me before I really started looking into what the VFW is all about, to me it was just one of those things that people from my grandparents’ generation would go and hang out there.

Scott DeLuzio:    03:18     Kind of an old man’s clu...

]]> full 21 false Marc Garduno is the state commander of the Delaware VFW. Marc joins us on the show to talk about the benefits of being a VFW member.

Many veterans from the more recent wars associate the VFW with their grandparents generation – like an old man’s drinking club.

Marc tells us that nothing could be further from the truth.

The VFW is also involved in a lot of important legislation that affects veterans. Everything from Agent Orange, Burn Pits, and other veteran health care needs. To expanding GI Bill benefits, and Widow’s Survivor Benefit Plans.

The biggest takeaway for me though was that a lot of veterans feel like they are missing out on the community environment that they had while serving in the military. That group of like minded individuals who just “get it”. The VFW can be a resource where you can connect with other vets in your area (no matter where in the world you are living).

Transcript

Scott DeLuzio:    00:00    Hey everybody, this is the Drive On Podcast where we’ve talked about issues affecting veterans after they get out of the military. I’m your host, Scott DeLuzio, and now let’s get on with the show. Hey everyone, thanks for tuning in to the Drive On Podcast today. My guest is Mark Garduno from the state of Delaware, where he’s the commander of the VFW.  He’s here today to talk a little bit about the VFW and the wide array of projects that they’re involved in that assist veterans as they transition from military to civilian life. So, Mark, thanks for joining me. Why don’t you tell us a little bit about yourself and what you do with the VFW?

Marc Garduno:    00:45    Wonderful. Thanks Scott. First of all, I’ll just thank you so much for the opportunity to be with you on your podcast. It’s really a great opportunity to showcase the Veterans of Foreign Wars and what we do in the community, what we do for veterans and their families.  I joined the military. I went into the Army in 1987 just about two months to the day after I graduated from high school. So, I’m already in boots at that point. I went to Fort Knox, Kentucky and I served in human resources field. I ended up retiring as a Chief Warrant Officer 3 in Human Resources back in 2008. Great experience.  I don’t second guess it; I don’t regret anything. It’s made me the person who I am. A better leader, a better organizer, a person as a whole involved in the community and wanting to give back to veterans

Marc Garduno:    01:37     just as the country has given to me.  I’m originally from a small town in Northern New Jersey, just outside of New York City called Richfield Park.  There, I went to Richfield Park High School and like I said, I went into the military from there. After service, I’ve settled down here in Delaware and as you mentioned before, I’m serving as the state commander for the Veterans of Foreign Wars here in the state of Delaware. I have three full grown children. The youngest one just graduated from college in the Spring, and I have a wonderful, supportive wife who, I don’t know who I would be or what I’d be doing without her. So that’s me in a nutshell.

Scott DeLuzio:    02:20    Great. I think I can probably echo that same sort of sentiment with my wife. I don’t know really where I’d be or who I’d be without her. So, to me anyways that is something that strikes home a little bit there. So, great. So, we know a little bit about you and your background and one of the things that I wanted to talk to you about, especially with regards to the VFW and the newer era of veterans that are coming out of Iraq and Afghanistan. Out of those Wars is the common misconceptions that a lot of the younger veterans have about the VFW. I know, for me before I really started looking into what the VFW is all about, to me it was just one of those things that people from my grandparents’ generation would go and hang out there.

Scott DeLuzio:    03:18     Kind of an old man’s club type of thing. And one veteran I spoke to recently said he thought of the VFW as kind of like a drinking club for the Korea or Vietnam era Vets. They didn’t really feel like the Iraq or Afghanistan Vets would fit in there, like it’d be a place for them. Now I’m sure there’s some degree of comradery amongst the members and that to some extent some of that is somewhat accurate but I’m sure there’s more to it than just that. So, would you be able to talk a little bit about what it’s like to be a member with the VFW and what that’s all about?

Marc Garduno:    03:55    Absolutely. Scott, you know, you hit the nail right on the head and that is one of the biggest challenges we face as an organization within the Veterans of Foreign Wars. And I’m sure the other veteran service organizations throughout the country, whether it be the American Legion or other veteran organization, whoever it happens to be somewhat faced the same challenges. And we pretty much did it to ourselves. You know, we went out there and we focused so much on the canteens, the bars and having that sort of an environment that dimly lit, smoke-filled rooms with veterans sitting in the corner or veterans in general talking about days gone by now. I’m not saying that none of those things are important. Quite frankly, the reason the club rooms and canteens exist is to provide the organization a source of revenue in order to fund programs

Marc Garduno:    04:42    they do. However, when we put so much of our focus into that area that a lot of times, we lose sight of what is most important. And so, that stated, it’s incumbent on us, the leaders or the organization, to do what we can in order to teach and educate the leaders of the local posts what’s truly important. So, that stated. Now for the younger generation of veterans you’re right, everyone has different tastes, likes, dislikes and things like that. And perhaps that sort of an environment is not appealing to the current generation of veterans. And so, that’s why we have to do what we can to number one, set up the necessary programs that this generation is looking for or at least attract them to the point where we’re open to ideas and suggestions from them.

Marc Garduno:    05:42    If they come in and they say, “Hey, the standard pillar programs, of the Veterans of Foreign Wars are important and we should continue doing those. But in this particular community, I think we would benefit more from this or we would benefit more from that.” And that’s what’s important. So, we need today’s generation of veteran, when they join our organization, to not simply look at what material benefit comes from it but rather what they could do to help us change the organization in a path that’s more conducive to support for today’s generation of veterans and their families. Then as an equal opportunity or just as important is, you know, there’s nothing stated out there that when there is a generational divide that you have to join only existing posts, right?

Marc Garduno:    06:41    So, what if today’s generation of veteran were to approach the leadership of any department, which is a state entity and say, “Hey, you know what, I think we have a good plan and idea to execute their Veterans of Foreign Wars programs but be more focused towards this area. We would like to start our own post.”  It doesn’t take a whole lot. It doesn’t require a building, doesn’t require a canteen to be attached to it. But if we simply required a small group of veterans that have a like mind and like desire and like feeling and put that together, start that post and serve the newer generation of veteran. And that’s really something that we consider.

Scott DeLuzio:    07:26    I think through the conversations that I’ve had with other veterans through this podcast and even outside of this podcast, one of the things that I think a lot of people are missing in that transition from military to civilian life is that bond or that unity, like you said, the likeminded people. Where when you’re deployed, you don’t have your family, your husband or your wife or your kids or your other family there with you. And so, you sort of rely on the people who are deployed with you to be a substitute for that family. You guys and all the people look out for each other and treat each other as a family.

Scott DeLuzio:    08:13    And a lot of times people come back from their deployments or get out of the military service altogether and they feel like they’re missing that. They go and they work a civilian job where people tend to be out for themselves. And it’s a lot less of that bond that comes in there. But kind of what you’re saying is it seems like there is somewhat of that bond through the local posts through the VFW where you can connect with other veterans who are likeminded and coming from a similar background as the other vets who are there and it seems like that could also be a good way for veterans to get that bond or that common connection back that they might seem like they’re missing from the transition back into the civilian life.

Marc Garduno:    09:13    And you’re absolutely correct, Scott.  Let me tell you an organization like the Veterans of Foreign Wars or just about any veterans service organization out there, you’re going to have people who are there who speak the same language as you and that’s a huge gap that you have in a civilian community that is a particular benefit. They understand all of those crazy acronyms that we use within the military. And so, even active duty individuals who are still in uniform feel at home there or at least they should feel at home.  One of the biggest programs, and I would tell you straight up, within the Veterans of Foreign Wars, two of the most important pillars of our organization is number one, the National Veterans Service and now National Veteran Service are those service officers who are out there in the communities providing access to benefits to veterans who have departed, putting in their claims,  access to GI bill benefits, all of those sorts of things.

Marc Garduno:    10:15    Whatever it is, if they need VA home guaranteed loans, all of that sort of thing. Right? So, they assist putting the veterans in touch with that. The other pillar to that is National Legislative Services. Both of those entities of the Veterans of Foreign Wars this year reached a hundred years, a century of service to veterans throughout the country. So now think about this. We’ve been doing those two missions for the Veterans of Foreign Wars or we’ve been doing those two missions for veterans longer than many of these organizations even exist, right? So, bar none, if there is an organization out there that knows the importance of these things, it’s the Veterans of Foreign Wars. Now, we recently started going down the path of putting together a benefits delivery at discharge program where we have pre-discharge offices at installations across the country.

Marc Garduno:    11:13    Right now we have 24, right? But in 2018, we helped and we assisted over 109,000 veterans in submitting the new VA claims just in fiscal year 2018. 15,000 of those were new claims by veterans just all together new meaning that, separating individuals from the military came to see a service officer, someone from the Veterans of Foreign Wars to help put their packet together. Now when I retired from the army back in 2008, the discharge office, the only thing they had there for us was, and we were lucky, quite frankly, I shouldn’t minimize it, but we had a contractor who was contracted directly with the VA. Now I don’t want to downplay the importance of that, but you know, you don’t go to a used car salesman and ask that used car salesman to tell you the great things about used cars.

Marc Garduno:    12:16    No, you go to Kelly Blue Book and you get all the information, you question the source, right? So, what better than to have a third party, an individual whose only focus is the veteran, him or herself, to ensure that they have the best access to quality healthcare or benefits that are available to them by going to a veterans’ service organization and that person provides them that information. So, this is a program that in my personal opinion Veterans of Foreign Wars could potentially expand on and with the help of other organizations create or assist with the revenue necessary in order to facilitate that sort of a program. So, more and more we’re going down that path and this is why I believe our organization is relevant and timely to veterans who are separating today by assisting them in that transition.

Marc Garduno:    13:10    I would finish that by telling you this. I always say that the military does a great job of creating war fighters and that’s what they’re there to do, right? They are there to create the soldiers, the sailors, the Marines, to make them the best fighting force in the world, which we are. Bar none. Okay. But then when it’s time to separate, I think we could do a whole lot better at teaching and educating the separating veteran to become a veteran and that doesn’t necessarily happen.  Sure, they have the TAP program, the Transition Assistance Program and all of that sort of thing, which is great, right? But not what happens when the individual is getting ready to separate from the military. I will tell you, Scott, you know those last six months prior to separation, the only thing we are typically focused on is getting out of uniform and getting back home.

Marc Garduno:    14:05    How quickly can I separate and this is what I have to do once I get out. Hopefully, it’s going to school, find a job, whatever it is. But that’s not necessarily the case for everyone. So, they go through a TAP program at their local installation. Let’s say it’s Fort Bragg, North Carolina. Then when they separate, they end up, who knows maybe somewhere in the middle of Wyoming. Do they have a network of people there? No, probably not. Do they have the resources necessary in that location, wherever they end up in order to network, find a job, and find the resources that are available for veterans in that local parish? So why not look to the local Veterans of Foreign Wars to help in that process?  That’s why we exist.

Scott DeLuzio:    14:53    And that’s a very important mission for you to have is to be that resource that’s outside of the military. It’s not necessarily connected to the military because like you said, the military does a great job at turning out warfighters. The soldiers and the Marines, airmen, sailors and everything. They do a great job at teaching them their job and how to do the thing that they’re supposed to do. But they’re not as focused on teaching them how to transition back into the civilian world because quite frankly, that’s not going to win a war. That’s not going to get our troops to be dominating on the battlefield. And rightfully so. They focus on the one thing that they do really well and they do it really, really well.

Scott DeLuzio:    15:51    And that’s why our military is the gold standard throughout the world in terms of our fighting capabilities. Organizations like the VFW and other veteran service organizations that are out there, it falls on them to pick up the slack and it’s not a knock on any of the organizations in terms of the current state of veterans’ affairs and things like that. It’s one of those things that I think veterans just need to bite the bullet and get involved with some of these organizations even if it may not be the thing that they feel like it’s the most comfortable situation. Because maybe it feels like it’s their grandfather’s drinking club or something like that but they do need to get involved with some of these things because that’s where a lot of this change is taking place and where a lot of the assistance they desperately need is going to happen.

Scott DeLuzio:    16:59    Even if there is a post where there’s a lot of the older generation there, I don’t think that it’s necessarily a bad thing to have any of the younger generation mixing in with the older generation either.

Marc Garduno:  No, there is nothing wrong with that.

Scott DeLuzio:  I read somewhere that both the older era’s, the World War II, Korea, Vietnam, that era and the more recent war era of veterans through the VFW and other organizations like this when they do get together, they tend to swap stories. You know, the typical war story type thing that you might think about but about each other’s service. And they tend to somewhat impress the other generations.

Scott DeLuzio:    17:56    The older guys impress the younger guys and vice versa, where the younger guys are maybe in awe of the stories about World War II vet storming the beaches of Normandy or something like that. Whereas, the older vets might be shocked at the fighting conditions of the younger generation where they have to deal with an enemy that doesn’t even wear a uniform and they just blend into the civilian population, like you might see in Iraq or Afghanistan. And so, those types of things, co-mingling, I think can help each other. Not only the younger generations helping out the older generations, but also vice versa, where they can help build that kind of community and camaraderie there too.

Marc Garduno:    18:44    You bring up good points. And in a typical social setting, there’s not going to be much of an issue when it comes to that.  Scott, in the typical social setting, you’re absolutely correct.  You get the slightly older generation of veteran together with today’s veteran and then they’ll start swapping those stories. And that’s what the concern might come up where in today’s generation of veteran where that I see and that concerns me is when you have a female veteran come into the post home whether it’s in the canteen or in the hall or whatever it happens to be and she’s looking for information about the Veterans of Foreign Wars and wants to potentially join. And the first thing they get is a glare and can we help you?

Marc Garduno:    19:32    Yeah. Do you want to join the auxiliary? And that’s the education process. So, number one, we have to continue to educate the members and the veterans that we already have; the members who are part of our organization. But at the same time, I would encourage veterans to please don’t give up on us, right? Just because you get that. You’ve gone through a lot already while you were in the military, no doubt in my mind, but please, join us and say, “well, you know what, I’m a veteran and I want to join this organization if you’ll have me.” So, I would encourage that to occur. Then the other part is when you go to those general membership meetings and proposals are being put out their ideas for new programs sometimes get that look from some of the older generation that will look at that person and say “they’re young pups.”

Marc Garduno:    20:32     You’re too young to know the ins and outs. Why don’t you hang around for a while longer before you start voicing your opinion or providing input and that sort of thing. And that’s just not what we’re about. We should be looking, hearing and discussing, trying to figure out, before we just absolutely say no, let’s figure out how we can say yes and see how we could carve that into our annual program for that particular post. Like I was mentioning before, we had the standard organizational programs that we deliver on a year in, year out basis. However, each particular post could gauge their own communities and determine what that community needs in order to best serve the local veterans, their families, and the community as a whole. If that can be done, right? So, I ask people please take a look at our organization and see how you can best fit.

Scott DeLuzio:    21:30    Yeah, absolutely. And I think that you brought up a great point there, too. And, perhaps as a male veteran, I hadn’t even considered some of the issues that some of the female veterans might have experienced by walking into a place where traditionally it was dominated by men in those individual posts. And then getting that look of “what are you doing here?” In that situation, I feel like the female veterans have been through just as much, if not more as some of the male veterans and they have just as much right to be a member of this organization and other veteran organizations as any male whoever served.

Marc Garduno:    22:27   Absolutely.

Scott DeLuzio:    22:29    That was a great key point. I think for any of the female veterans who might be listening, definitely reach out to the VFW or other organizations that are out there for veterans and become a part of that community because you’re not forgotten in terms of your service, your service means just as much as any male veteran service and you should be taking advantage of any of the opportunities that are presented through some of these organizations. Whether it’s through VA claims or the GI bill, things like that and getting assistance with all that.

Marc Garduno:    23:12    And if I may, let me just talk about that just a little bit. The female veterans, any that may be out there listening, let me tell you, I’m going to tout my horn just a little bit because the post that I come from here in Delaware has bar none, the largest percentage of female veterans in the state who are members, not only do we have a lot of female members in our particular post, the post commander is a female veteran and the vast majority of the active members who show up month in, month out and are helping to deliver the programs are our female veterans. So, I’m extremely proud and the other part is we are an organization who is doing what we can to support the female veteran on Capitol Hill. Last week I was out up at DC and we were pushing the national legislative agenda and part of the Veterans of Foreign Wars legislative priorities was that of female veteran healthcare.

Marc Garduno:    24:05    And when we realize that the typical VA hospital was built, structured, created on average about 50 years ago, what was the difference in demographics between back then and now? Well, clearly now we have just a much larger female veteran population. But I think the department of defense wise, we’re probably somewhere between 16 and 18% are females. And so, clearly, we need to ensure that the access to health care also includes female specific healthcare because that’s what’s needed and required. Even the typical post-op recovery room. Well, let’s think about the scenario there. Why can’t they make sure that we have the privacy requirements for a separate post-op room for females or the cubby hole type situation. So, there is sufficient level of privacy once they get out of post op, neonatal health care, all of those sorts of things that we forget about as the standard male veteran; we forget about those things because, “Hey, we’re taken care of.”  But what about our sisters who were out there fighting the same dirt, living the same lifestyle, dealing with the same dealings and the same kind of Nazi leadership requirements that would roll downhill. You know, they deserve it. And here we are as veterans and we should do everything we can to provide support for them.

Scott DeLuzio:    25:40    Yeah, absolutely. Along those lines with the legislative priorities that you were talking about, what are some of the other legislative issues that the VFW is involved with? In terms of going to Washington, talking about making improvements for veterans and things like that. What are some of those things that you guys are involved with?

Marc Garduno:    26:07    Well, the VFW has had their fingerprint, their footprint on just about every major piece of veteran-related legislation since our national legislative service began.  Just earlier this year, we finally were able to convince the VA to drop their fight and then we were able to convince Congress to pass the Blue Water Navy Vietnam Veterans Act, which supports that.  There was this thought process out there that just because an individual was serving on a ship offshore in blue waters that there was no way possible, they could have been exposed to Agent Orange. How do you think they got the Agent Orange over in Vietnam?  And then not only that, but then you had other areas where they would dip foliage type of agent like in the DMZ in Korea and other parts of Southeast Asia.

Marc Garduno:    27:04    So we have that past. The Post 911 GI bill that we all enjoy and now it’s the Forever GI bill, which is something that veterans are enjoying for the rest of their life. And they no longer have that cap, if memory serves me correctly, where they have 15 years post-military separation to use it or lose it. Not only that, but they can also pass that onto family members, children or their spouse if they so desire. So that’s a wonderful thing. So, some of the things that we’re looking at now that we would love to get everyone’s support and you don’t have to be a VFW member to contact your local federal legislator, whether it’s from the House of Representatives or the Senate. Particularly the United States Senate right now, we need everyone’s support to contact them and say, “axe the widow’s tax.”

Marc Garduno:    27:55    We have this tax that essentially when you’re separated from the military, retired from the military they have the survivor benefit plan. Now this is an opportunity to have a portion of your retirement go towards this fund so that if the veteran meets his demise earlier than expected or at some point when that person is gone, the widow or the widower left behind, the surviving spouse has this financial support. Because once that person’s gone the retirement is gone. But if they pay into that, the benefit is there for them. So, now they have this day where they say, “Hey, well spouses are also provided VIC. So, if that’s the case, then that’s money that should be offset from the survivor benefit. Whoa, hold on a second. The veteran paid into that plan, that money is there.

Marc Garduno:    28:56    VIC is an added benefit that could potentially go towards that surviving spouse. So those are two completely different things where one is a benefit and the other one is something that was already paid into. So that’s the widows’ tax we went up there and we were fighting for that and everyone seems to be supportive of it because they understand it. The only consideration now is that for the 2020 fiscal year National Defense Authorization Act, they didn’t put it in there. So now, when they go back there and reconcile, the potential exists that they’ll drop it as something that cannot be supported because of funding or whatever it happens to be. So please, we need assistance with that. We’re also looking at Burn Pits. Here in Delaware, I’m trying to put together a survey so that we could get numbers to determine how many people are on the burn pit registry.

Marc Garduno:    29:48    A lot of these burn pits that were used in Southwest Asia gave out toxic fumes, toxic smoke. A lot of people are starting to get sick from that. So, we’re trying to get ahead of the game so that we’re not trying to fight an Agent Orange type battle here in 20 years when it comes to burn pits. We’re also looking at veterans’ health care on a continuing thing. We’re supporting the Commander John Hannon and Veterans Mental Health Care Improvement Act of 2019 and that’s specifically to provide more resources and assets to better the mental health program. Because I will tell you, Scott that one veteran committing suicide is just one veteran way too many. And although some numbers seem to indicate that the number is decreasing; quite frankly, when you look at it, they’ve essentially reached the plateau.

Marc Garduno:    30:38    It’s not necessarily going up but it’s not going down. So, it’s reached a plateau and it just continues to move at that particular number. We need to do what we can to decrease that. Plus, let’s take a look at how some of the medical cannabis could assist these veterans because we already know there are many States out there that have legalized it for medical marijuana usage for veterans. And that’s showing that it’s having a clear benefit to them. Then we think the VA should do everything they can to explore and to test and to come up with whatever it is that’s needed to definitively determine that cannabis usage for medicinal purposes is something that should be authorized and put into use and that the VA can prescribe it and do all of the things. Now the VA can’t even consider that as a form of treatment for mental health because it’s still an illicit drug.

Scott DeLuzio:    31:32    Regardless of what’s going on on the state level, the individual States that are making it legal for medicinal purposes, the fact is it’s still illegal on the federal level. And so, the VA being a federally run organization is just not going to prescribe something that’s illegal on the federal level at all. So, you mentioned another thing that hit home here. So, we had talked about the medical marijuana on a previous episode. And we also talked about the burn pits on a previous episode with a veteran who actually served with my brother in Afghanistan who is actually suffering from the side effects of the burn pits. He is battling with cancer that’s a direct cause from the burn pits.

Scott DeLuzio:    32:30    It’s terrible to think about an otherwise young and healthy person who is just trying to go about living their life and they’re now dealing with a cancer that is basically spreading and causing all sorts of trouble for them. Fortunately, there in that particular veteran’s situation, they’re young enough so that they’re able to tolerate the higher doses of chemotherapy that are required. But like you said in 20 years obviously we’ll all be 20 years older and we’re not going to necessarily be able to deal with those high doses of chemo that we would need in order to battle all of that. And so, I know that the registry is a good first step. We need to get ahead of this so that it doesn’t become another Agent Orange type of situation.

Marc Garduno:    33:28    Absolutely. You’re absolutely correct. Absolutely. And you know, the Cancer is probably to the extreme but what about all of the other conditions like COPD and things that debilitate an individual that may not reach the level of cancer but the individual is fighting, combating and while they’re having to suffer through all that, they’re trying to continue on with their life  going to a job, other career type work or whatever it is they happen to go into as a career and this is preventing them or debilitating them to a point where they are not able to be as successful and provide for their family the way they should. So, this is critically important, critically important. Outside of that, I would also like to mention that we’re working on Voc Rehab.  Now that there are no time limits or constraints when it comes to the Forever GI Bill in when they are using that or how long they have to use it, we believe that the same opportunities should be available for Voc Rehab, that a veteran can use Voc rehab at whatever point for the rest of his or her life.

Marc Garduno:    34:34    I think that’s an important thing to also consider. And then lastly, as we talked about already, the transition program we’re still working in that. I personally believe and we’ve mentioned it to the Senators here in Delaware that “here we have a veteran separating from military service with probably a secret security clearance there and then they separate and now all of a sudden they’re a security risk? So, in other words, we asked why can’t a veteran receive a base-access pass for let’s say you pick a number, let’s say up to six months post-service and Department of Defense comes back and “security risk.” What? The individual just separated from the military and the next day they become a security risk, come on!  And so, at that point, regardless of where they end up, whether it’s near the base they separated from or back home, wherever that may be and they still have access to a military installation that they go there and access resources.

Marc Garduno:    35:36    I guarantee you there is not a TAP class out there, a Transition Assistance class where they attend prior to separation that is so full, they probably can’t help another two or three individuals. Get them enrolled in there so they know where the network is or who are the local service providers in this area now that they decided on where they’re going to separate to or finally set up their home. So, those are the sorts of things that we’re working on right now. I think the legislative victories that we’ve had over the last couple of years, plus what we’re looking at right now is extremely important and I think that’s what makes us, bar none, the premier veterans’ service organization out there in the country today that are actually getting out into the community and doing what we do best by advocating on behalf of all veterans regardless of gender, regardless of era in which you served, be it Vietnam, Korea, even during Desert Storm or post 9/11; it doesn’t matter. We’re doing everything we can to assist you to maintain the benefits that were promised to you and when needed ensure that we got the additional benefits and resources to help you because of the service that you gave for our country.

Scott DeLuzio:    37:01    That’s absolutely great. And I love all of that, in terms of how you are getting out there and advocating for the veterans and everything like that. It’s really important that there are organizations out there like the VFW, that are doing that type of work. One veteran on their own is not going to be able to move these mountains and banding together and having an organization like this will certainly help with all of this stuff. You’ve already listed off a number of victories that the VFW has had legislatively. So, I’m very happy to hear all of this and happy to know that there are organizations out there that are fighting for veterans and so that veterans don’t feel like they’re all alone when they get out of the military service.

Marc Garduno:    38:05    I was just going to mention that I mentioned before that we’re doing this for all veterans, not necessarily those who are members. The benefits that we provide are for anytime you go into a veteran service office, you don’t have to be a member of the Veterans of Foreign Wars but if you so choose that and you’re eligible that after you were provided that service and you felt that it was a good quality service, that by all means you should consider joining the Veterans of Foreign Wars so that we could continue our mission.  Any individual, any service member that was eligible or would be eligible, provided they served in a combat theater of operation but in reality, what makes them eligible is that campaign metal. If they received the campaign medal for service, they did for eminent danger pay, servicing Korea for at a minimum of 30 consecutive days, 60 non-consecutive days,

Marc Garduno:    39:02    those are individuals who are eligible for the Veterans of Foreign Wars. And I also want you to know that we have a supportive auxiliary out there and this auxiliary works hard to ensure that they provide the supplemental support in our mission to deliver those programs that are so important in supporting veterans and their families.  The auxiliary is also out there and eligibility for that is being a part of the immediate family of a veteran, whether parents, a brother, sister, children or grandchildren. That’s the extent of the eligibility surrounding that veteran in the immediate family.

Scott DeLuzio:    39:42    Okay, great. And so, those are the criteria for both of the Veterans of Foreign Wars and the auxiliary program. Those are the criteria to become members. Where can people go to learn more about either finding a post in their area or how to join or how to support the VFW in their area?

Marc Garduno:    40:05    I would direct anyone primarily to our national website, which is the vfw.org right then and there are links up above along the top margin.  You can click on the place, it says “Find a Post” and it goes by a city name or by your zip code and they’ll pull up any VFW post who are there in your area and what services they provide or the individual could sign up to become an at large member at that same website. And there is a link there that says “Join” and there’s a lot of other information there. There’s also that ever popular list of member benefits, like insurance program, financial services, and access to the magazine with the VFW, a lot of tangible resources and member benefits that the individual receives just by virtue of that membership. But it’s the intangible that I referred to earlier that are even more important in my opinion. If there’s a local VFW post in your area, walk up to it when they’re open, and say, “Hey, I’d like to get more information to see what I could do that could help you or what I could do to join.”

Scott DeLuzio:    41:19    These posts are there nationwide, there are posts all across the country but also around the world, if I’m not mistaken. Is that correct?

Marc Garduno:    41:28    Yes, that’s absolutely correct. I’m glad you know that. We have about 6,200 posts worldwide. We have an entire department, which is, like I said, a state type entity. We have a department in the Pacific areas, which has posts in Korea, Japan, Taiwan, the Philippines, Bangkok, and Cambodia, if I’m not mistaken, there’s a post there. So, there are a lot of posts in overseas countries that are serving, ex-pats, veterans who decided to retire overseas or even the members who are serving in the military still overseas. And then we have an entire department over in Europe serving countries like Germany, the UK, France, Belgium, Netherlands, and Italy as well. So yeah, it’s worldwide.

Scott DeLuzio:    42:21    So, that’s great too because there are people who are serving or who have served or are serving and found themselves overseas and are no longer in the States. And they should also know that they’re not forgotten. There are people out there who are going to be there to support them as well, even though they may find themselves in a foreign country and as they should be. So, thank you for all of that and thank you for sharing all of this background on the VFW and what you guys are all involved in. I think veterans of the more recent post 9/11 Wars would find themselves better off by reaching out to the VFW and other veterans’ organizations to get that support that they need. Help these organizations push forward these legislative priorities like you had mentioned before. Going back to what we talked about previously; especially, I would encourage the women veterans to reach out to these organizations, as well because they may just feel like it’s a boys’ club and it’s not and it shouldn’t be either.

Marc Garduno:    43:45   So, that’s correct. Absolutely correct. If I may, just one last thing, please visit that vfw.org because there’s a lot of opportunity for assistance there.  If you’re a recently separated veteran and in need of something, whether it be mental health assistance, you can click there and get some information. Student veteran support and that we have a wonderful partnership with Sport Clips.  They provide a hero scholarship that assists separating service people and the rank of E5 and below. Because even though the GI bill is wonderful, it really is, but it doesn’t help the individual to the extent they may need. And so, that scholarship program is there. We also have a national home out in Michigan and these people provide assistance in the event an individual might need a little direction, may be in a financial crisis and they may be looking for a place where they can go for a respite and get their mind intact and the VFW National Home for Children in Michigan, that website is out there and I would encourage individuals to seek that information through there as well.

Scott DeLuzio:    44:58    All right, great. That’s a lot of resources. I’m going to try to link to as much of this as I can in the show notes as well so that people can have a nice, easy place to find all of this information as well. So, thank you again, Mark for sharing all of this information and we look forward to seeing how this helps out the veterans and the VFW in particular. So, thank you. For anyone who’s listening, if you want to find out more information about the VFW, check out the show notes. I’ll try to link to as many of these organizations and programs and everything that we talked about today in the show notes and you can find more information there.

Scott DeLuzio:    45:42    Thanks for listening to the Drive On Podcast. If you want to check out more episodes or learn more about the show, you can visit our website, DriveOnPodcast.com we’re on Facebook, Twitter, and Instagram at DriveOnPodcast.

]]> 00:46:02 <![CDATA[Using The Outdoors as a Healthier Coping Mechanism]]> Tue, 15 Oct 2019 01:00:38 +0000 Scott DeLuzio https://drive-on-podcast.castos.com/podcasts/2296/episodes/using-the-outdoors-as-a-healthier-coping-mechanism Brad Noone is an Army veteran who has found healing through the outdoors. Brad has participated in outdoor trips and even volunteered with several veteran organizations to help lead expeditions.

Brad shares his experiences after getting back from Afghanistan and how the outdoors gave him a place to recover.

Links & Resources

Transcript

Scott DeLuzio:    00:00    Hey everybody, this is the Drive On Podcast where we talk about issues affecting veterans after they get out of the military. I’m your host, Scott DeLuzio, and now let’s get on with the show.

Scott DeLuzio:    00:14    Hey everyone, thanks for tuning into the Drive On Podcast.  Today my guest is Brad Noone who served with me in the Connecticut Army National Guard for a while.  He deployed to Afghanistan in 2006 and since getting out of the military, he’s found an outlet that allows him to get in touch with nature, which I wanted to talk to him about. I think that’s a path that not enough Vets take and it certainly seemed to work wonders with Brad. So Noone, buddy, I don’t want to give away too much about what you have going on here, but why don’t you tell us a little bit about yourself and just introduce yourself.

Brad Noone:    00:56    Hear me?

Scott DeLuzio: Yeah, go ahead.

Brad Noone:    00:59    Oh, sorry.  My name is Brad Noone.  Like Scott said, we served together in the Connecticut Army National Guard and I did two years active duty with the Guard and then six years on drilling status. We did a deployment to Afghanistan in 2006. I struggled a lot when I came home and I became fully involved in the outdoors, which I assume we’ll probably delve into that here in just a second.

Scott DeLuzio:    01:27    Yeah, absolutely.  So, if you don’t mind touching on some of the things, some of the struggles that you went through and I don’t know all the details necessarily but during your time in the military or even after getting out, what were some of those things that were difficult for you? I know you said when you got back home from Afghanistan, you had a tough time but what were some of those things, if you don’t mind sharing some of that?

Brad Noone:  Sure, absolutely.

Brad Noone:    01:56     When I was in Afghanistan, I experienced a number of traumas.  Everything from having to take the life of enemy combatants to seeing charred and mutilated bodies, to seeing, and experiencing just what we call combat stress or anxiety.  I lost sleep. I would go days without sleep and this was in a combat zone. This was in Afghanistan.  I came home and I didn’t have a coping mechanism, so I drank and I partied and that’s what I did. I ended up living in my car; readjustment back into civilian life, even after I got my drinking under control is still one of the biggest hurdles that I have to overcome on a day-to-day basis.  The way the military trains, it doesn’t operate very well in civilian life with a military mentality.  This is what I went on to experience.  I have experienced homelessness on and off, some involuntary, some voluntary, for the past, I don’t know, five or six years. I’ve been in and out of my truck and it’s been a great experience but it’s been very hard at the same time.

Scott DeLuzio:    03:13    Sure. ...

]]> full 20 false Brad Noone is an Army veteran who has found healing through the outdoors. Brad has participated in outdoor trips and even volunteered with several veteran organizations to help lead expeditions.

Brad shares his experiences after getting back from Afghanistan and how the outdoors gave him a place to recover.

Links & Resources

Transcript

Scott DeLuzio:    00:00    Hey everybody, this is the Drive On Podcast where we talk about issues affecting veterans after they get out of the military. I’m your host, Scott DeLuzio, and now let’s get on with the show.

Scott DeLuzio:    00:14    Hey everyone, thanks for tuning into the Drive On Podcast.  Today my guest is Brad Noone who served with me in the Connecticut Army National Guard for a while.  He deployed to Afghanistan in 2006 and since getting out of the military, he’s found an outlet that allows him to get in touch with nature, which I wanted to talk to him about. I think that’s a path that not enough Vets take and it certainly seemed to work wonders with Brad. So Noone, buddy, I don’t want to give away too much about what you have going on here, but why don’t you tell us a little bit about yourself and just introduce yourself.

Brad Noone:    00:56    Hear me?

Scott DeLuzio: Yeah, go ahead.

Brad Noone:    00:59    Oh, sorry.  My name is Brad Noone.  Like Scott said, we served together in the Connecticut Army National Guard and I did two years active duty with the Guard and then six years on drilling status. We did a deployment to Afghanistan in 2006. I struggled a lot when I came home and I became fully involved in the outdoors, which I assume we’ll probably delve into that here in just a second.

Scott DeLuzio:    01:27    Yeah, absolutely.  So, if you don’t mind touching on some of the things, some of the struggles that you went through and I don’t know all the details necessarily but during your time in the military or even after getting out, what were some of those things that were difficult for you? I know you said when you got back home from Afghanistan, you had a tough time but what were some of those things, if you don’t mind sharing some of that?

Brad Noone:  Sure, absolutely.

Brad Noone:    01:56     When I was in Afghanistan, I experienced a number of traumas.  Everything from having to take the life of enemy combatants to seeing charred and mutilated bodies, to seeing, and experiencing just what we call combat stress or anxiety.  I lost sleep. I would go days without sleep and this was in a combat zone. This was in Afghanistan.  I came home and I didn’t have a coping mechanism, so I drank and I partied and that’s what I did. I ended up living in my car; readjustment back into civilian life, even after I got my drinking under control is still one of the biggest hurdles that I have to overcome on a day-to-day basis.  The way the military trains, it doesn’t operate very well in civilian life with a military mentality.  This is what I went on to experience.  I have experienced homelessness on and off, some involuntary, some voluntary, for the past, I don’t know, five or six years. I’ve been in and out of my truck and it’s been a great experience but it’s been very hard at the same time.

Scott DeLuzio:    03:13    Sure.  So, let’s talk about some of the, let’s just call it the healthier, coping mechanisms that you’ve worked your way through and discovered about some of the outdoor adventures and how that has helped you now.  What are some of the things that you do to get outside and how is that beneficial to you? Or how have you found that to be beneficial to your coping?

Brad Noone:    03:40    Sure. The outdoors, I tell people all the time, it acts as my church. It acts as my therapist that acts as my doctor and my gym.  It serves as all of those things.  It serves as a place to be completely quiet.  I can just be alone with my thoughts, which scares a lot of folks and it definitely scares me, as a Vet, who’s experienced actual combat.  A lot of that stuff comes right on back when you get into a quiet place. But that’s why it’s so important to go out there and we have to address these things.  The outdoors gave me a really healthy coping mechanism. Instead of drinking, I went for a hike, instead of staying out all night, smoking cigarettes and smoking weed or whatever folks choose to use or do to cope,

Brad Noone:    04:39     I took that and replaced it.  It wasn’t easy. It took months and years to do.  As I built up a skill set in the outdoors and then it began. Once my skill set was established a bit more, I began volunteering and putting myself out there to other veterans, out to other veteran organizations that just by Osmosis and by being around them and those environments and those people, you pick up more and more skills. You expand your networks of people and a support structure while still having your outdoor experience, the fun that goes with it. And that’s what a lot of people forget that the outdoors and these things are supposed to be fun.  We’re supposed to be out there and bringing in the mud and climbing on the rocks and rafting the rivers.

Scott DeLuzio:    05:35     And you think back to little kids playing outside.  They’re playing in a sandbox or playing in the mud. They’re getting dirty out there. Every one of them has a smile on their face right out there. They’re having fun. Like you said, it’s supposed to be fun getting outside and even though you get a little dirty, it’s not bad thing, necessarily

Brad Noone:  There’s a little bit of pride in getting dirty.

Scott DeLuzio:  Yeah, exactly.  When you’re doing the grunt training though, it’s not always smiles on your face because guys see you’re getting dirty and yes, you’re outdoors, but you’re also humping a pack that’s half your body weight or whatever and it sucks.  But at the same time, you’re outdoors.

Scott DeLuzio:    06:26    You’re getting that fresh air, using the physical energy and mentally, I know for myself anyways, days that I exercise, I’m an early riser and I don’t know if that was a thing that I took away from the military but I always just wake up early. I exercise first thing in the morning, right after getting up and the days that I exercise, I feel great for the whole rest of the day.  I feel awake, alert, clearheaded and everything like that. Days that I don’t exercise, I’m sluggish.  I just don’t feel on top of my game on those days. It’s actually a pretty amazing thing that I found that just getting outside and going for a run or something like that, getting that fresh air and get a little bit of physical energy.  Some people might think, I’m going to run, I’m going to be so tired later on in the day. I’m 10 times more awake after doing something like that after exerting some physical energy.  Which has been totally helpful for me. I’m sure you know with some of the stuff that you’ve been doing, it’s probably something similar, as well.

Brad Noone:    07:42    Absolutely.  I volunteer for a number of organizations now and most of them have physical activity as their primary core value. That on top of things that we bring from back from the military, like honesty and integrity. In the army, it was the seven core values.  They are applicable; and a lot of people make fun of them, especially the stupid little dog tag that they give you that has all the seven army corps values and they want you to wear it and things like that. And everybody makes fun of it when you’re in. But then when you get out and you start to grow up a little bit more and you go through those hardships of reintegration, you see that those core values actually are applicable.

Scott DeLuzio:    08:32    Ooh, absolutely. Even when you compare, take any company that has a veteran and a civilian who has never served doing the same job side by side, that veteran who’s living those core values still, because it’s just been ingrained in them, they’re going to stand out far more even if their backgrounds, i.e., went to the same school and they got the same training and background and everything like that, but the veteran has military experience on top of it. They’re going to just stand out that much more because they have the integrity and all the other core values and that’s just going to make them stand out a bit more.  You’re right. We do mock it and make fun of it but in real life and real applications, it’s a very useful thing to take away. If you take away nothing else from the military, like that’s not a bad thing to take away.

Brad Noone:    09:34    Sure, absolutely. And those things, like you said, are ingrained in us. That ingraining of different, doctrines or mentalities is both part of the solution, part of why veterans, excel. But it’s also why veterans struggle too, at least from my experience. I’ve also found that you can take seven core army values and you can apply them almost directly to the outdoors.  Integrity. You have to let people know where you’re going, what you’re doing. If you’re leading a trip, folks have to know what’s going on. You have to be informed.  And honest, you can’t lie to them. Tell them it’s easy and then they come up and you have 7,000 feet to climb vertically.  They’re not going to be happy with you.  The same with personal courage, when you’re out on a raft on a river and your adrenaline is going and you’re scared.  It takes personal courage to push through that and continue to paddle and continue to get down the river safely.  All that safety, does rely on that.  Safety of yourself and others relies on these core values.

Scott DeLuzio:    10:44    Yeah. Especially in a teamwork environment like rafting might be where we’re at. You’re not the only one who’s steering the ship, if you will.  You have to rely on other people and if you’re going to cower away from the challenge or whatever and they’re relying on you to do that and that’s part of the deal, you all have to work together in that aspect, I would imagine. Something that you were talking about before, in terms of how people stand out and also how vets have trouble reintegrating back into the civilian world, I find through the people that I’ve talked to through this podcast and even other places that a lot of times veterans who are just trying to find a job or are working in the civilian world struggle a lot of times with the lack of communication, the lack of direction, and the lack of structure.

Scott DeLuzio:    11:52    Yeah. Structure. The one that I was looking for, the lack of structure that there is.  A lot of times the civilian employers or managers don’t realize that that’s the thing that’s missing from this. And they may not even know how to structure their organization or the job and may not even know how to structure it so that veterans can succeed. But that’s something I think is super important for the employers, for middle management or whatever levels that you’re talking about.

Brad Noone:  The decision-making levels.

Scott DeLuzio:  Yeah, exactly. To recognize that that’s one of those things that the veterans need to excel.  Without that, they sometimes just feel lost and it sometimes might feel like they’re getting hired just to follow orders and being like a yes man or yes woman.

Scott DeLuzio:    12:49     Because that’s what we’re trained to do. We’re trained to follow orders and it’s obviously not the only thing we’re capable of doing.

Brad Noone:  We’re trained to take initiative and to lead by example. Set that bar high instead of just meeting standards.

Scott DeLuzio:  Yes, exactly.  You said you work with other veteran organizations.  What are some of those organizations, first off?  Let’s talk about what some of those are and what are some of the things that you guys do to get outside; what are some of the activities that you do and other things like that. Let’s talk about that a little bit and let people know how to find you and all that stuff too.  So that should they be interested in getting outdoors and learning more about that, we can point them in the right direction.

Brad Noone:    13:49    Oh, absolutely.  I have volunteered for four or five, six different organizations over the past, I don’t know, six or seven years.  I’ll start with the beginning and go chronologically.  At the end of each one, I’ll let you know which organizations I’m still with and which ones I’m not.

Scott DeLuzio:  Sure.

Brad Noone:  I initially started with Wounded Warrior Project as a participant.  They had reached out to me; they had some shooting events and things like that and they reached out to me and said, “hey, do you want to go ice climbing in New Hampshire?” I go, “that’s a long way away and I’ve never ice climbed before. They go, “it’s open to everybody.” I go, “okay, why not? Yes, I’ll go give it a try.”  I had hesitations; it’s a bunch of new people and in a place I’ve never been, doing things

Brad Noone:    14:35    I’ve never done.  It wasn’t just a veterans’ organization or veterans’ trip. There were about three different organizations there.  I have worked with all three since.  The first one that was there and the one I was dedicated to probably the longest was Veterans’ Expeditions. They can be found at veteransexpeditions.com.  They primarily build community amongst veterans using outdoor sports.  I’m no longer with Veterans’ Expeditions, as of last year.  I took a step back to work on myself. But Veterans’ Expeditions is an outstanding organization.  Their leadership, specifically their board is top notch. Their board and the field leaders are incredible.  I have nothing bad to say about any of them.  They are a 501c3 nonprofit and they are based out of Colorado but run trips nationwide. Now they’re starting to run trips internationally.

Brad Noone:    15:45     I’ve been up a number of mountains in Colorado. My very first paddling experience on whitewater was with Veterans’ Expeditions.  The big pointer for Veterans’ Expeditions is that community and the outdoor training where folks can come out and you learn.  We run everything from basic snowshoeing and rock climbing and hiking trips to summits of the world’s highest peaks.  We’ve sent multiple teams up Denali, so the tallest peak in North America.  We’ve had two teams from Veterans’ Expeditions go up in it; which is absolutely incredible to think of where some of these folks, five, six, eight, seven years ago, even a year ago to where there summitting a 20,000-foot mountain is unbelievable. And I’ve nothing but pride for my time served within Veterans’ Expeditions and the people that I’ve met there.

Scott DeLuzio:    16:48    I found, too that you talked about the community building that they do through that. And I found that one of the things that a lot of other veterans that I talk to find lacking is that sense of comradery in that community or family feeling that you might get with the guys that you deployed with or the people that you deploy with or the people who are in your unit. They get out into the civilian world and they lose that. And especially if they’re not really close or they don’t really have their own traditional family, they lose that. And so, something like Veterans’ Expeditions, where they build that community through those sports and everything, I think that’s a great mission to have.

Brad Noone:    17:37    It absolutely is. And they stay non-political.  Anybody who wants to come out and is qualified or in general okay physical health and that doesn’t exclude anybody with disabilities that does not exclude folks who have missing arms or hands or folks who are paraplegic or quadriplegic.  I’ve been up ice climbing with a paraplegic. He was paralyzed from the waist down and he had special gear and all sorts of stuff and he was fine.  The executive director of Veterans’ Expeditions is missing half of his hand. He’s out there. He’s an avid mountain biker. He’s an incredible outdoorsman.  We’re all about bringing everyone out as long as they’re there to actually build the community and there to help each other and to learn new skills and are looking for self-improvement.

Brad Noone:    18:36    A lot of what turns some folks off of outdoor veteran’s trips are what we call professional trip takers. And they’re just out there for free vacation and we don’t get them a lot and this is across all of the organizations I volunteered for in the outdoors.  But they are out there and it absolutely can take away from the trip and take away from the group dynamics.  But if that is your biggest concern, that you’re going to be having to deal with somebody who’s not there to improve themselves or improve others, I think that’s a pretty good place to be. If that’s the worst that you’re dealing with. If there’s 15 people on the trip and one of them maybe isn’t there for the best reasons; you just continue on and try to get all the good out of it.

Brad Noone:    19:39    But then after Veterans’ Expeditions or around the same time that I got involved with them, I was involved with Sierra Club’s military outdoors. And a lot of people, if you’re involved in the outdoor community or involved in politics, you hear the word Sierra Club and you think, “oh, no, crazy hippies, left-wing, protesting the government and chaining yourself to trees, things like that.” That’s absolutely what the Sierra Club does or has done in the past.  The military outdoors program is different.  Yes, it does attract folks and the trips that we lead there are based around conservation and protecting lands but it’s also reconnecting veterans back to our lands, back to the outdoors.  I had typically run, for I think three or four years, I had a run a Navajo Sweat Lodge trip in conjunction with Friends of Cedar Mesa.

Brad Noone:    20:38    There are conservation organization down in southeast Utah in conjunction with the Navajo nation, in southern Utah, as well as Sierra Club and other partnering organizations like the BLM.  The model for that trip I think is really unique and very important.  We would start off by doing a service day. So, everybody would come out, we’d camp out the next morning, we would wake up and we would go out and we’d volunteer with Friends of Cedar Mesa doing conservation volunteer work, whatever they needed. Most of the time it was surveying archeological sites or transporting fence building material out to these sites or things along those lines like cataloging archaeological sites, you name it.  We would volunteer with them and Friends of Cedar Mesa has really championed a lot of the conservation efforts in southern Utah, specifically around Bears Ears and the recent national monument there.

Brad Noone:    21:48    After that day of service, we would head out to the Navajo nation.  Per capita, the Dena or Navajo people have the highest percentage of veterans in their population of any other demographic.  You always hear Navajo code talkers and World War II and Vietnam. Now they pay back.  They pay it back. They pay it forward to the rest of the veteran community outside of just the Navajo world.  It’s a very rare thing to be able to experience as a Navajo sweat lodge.  They do what’s called a warrior welcome home ceremony and I won’t go too far into it. I suggest you check out that trip on Sierra Club Military Outdoors website.   There at SierraClubmilitaryoutdoors and you can find them.

Brad Noone:    22:50     The primary contact there is Rob Vessels. He’s a 10th Mountain veteran.  Both Veterans’ Expeditions and the Sierra Club Military Outdoors, are vet run and vet led 100%. Sierra Club has a lot of civilian folks working for them.  But all of the leadership on the military outdoors side and the Veterans’ Expedition side and the outdoor leadership, are veterans, which is huge because veterans understand veterans. We know what it was like being in the military even if we serve different branches or jobs.  But I’m sorry, I digress. I keep getting sidetracked here.  Back to the sweat lodge trip.  After we complete the Warrior Welcome Home Ceremony and are welcomed into the home and onto Navajo reservation in monument valley, we then go do a single night or two days/three days out in the back country.

Brad Noone:    23:46    We do a backpacking trip. It’s nontechnical, canyoneering, it’s like Steep Piking.  We’d go out and we experience some of these archeological sites. We go out and we experience these canyons and these lands that are protected. The lands that we literally fought for and that’s the big point that I try to make to folks is that we fought for something in the military. What was it a lot of folks say, I serve for school or I served for patriotism, I serve for whatever. But when you come back here, what’s the tangible thing that you fought for? Was it your family? Was it your house? I know for me and a lot of the other veterans I’ve met in this outdoor and conservation community, we fought for the lands themselves.

Brad Noone:    24:32    I personally didn’t fight for my government. I’m not stoked on the state of society and how people are treating each other right now. But one thing I will always love is our lands.  Without them, my coping mechanism goes away, which is tough and that’s one of the reasons why I do care so much and I have become so involved in conservation.  Moving forward from there I got involved with a small nonprofit that used to be based out of Connecticut.  We now have state chapters across the country. Not every state, but we’re constantly growing. It’s Operation Vet Fit.  That’s the organization where their true mantra is physical activity.  As you mentioned before, Scott, you go out and you run and folks think that they’re going to be tired afterwards and you may feel a little fatigue in your legs but your energy levels are through the roof, they call it the runner’s high.

Brad Noone:    25:39    Right?  That carries on throughout the day.  At least I know it does for me but that organization started as a nonprofit, offering free gym membership and training to veterans.  It’s owned by a veteran and his family.  He’s a Marine Corps, Somali era veteran, mid 90’s and he absolutely kills it.  His name is Dan Gayda and you can find Operation Vet Fit at operationvetfit.org.  We do all sorts of stuff now, golfing tournaments, rafting weekends up in Massachusetts. My position there is Outdoor Program Coordinator and Liaison and our Colorado State Rep.  If you have questions, please reach out to me on that organization or Dan Gayda and you can find all of the numbers, email address, things like that on the website.  The last organization that I’ve really been seriously involved in is operation Vet Voice Foundation.

Brad Noone:    26:56     They’re more of a conservation organization.  They bill themselves as a nonpartisan conservation organization looking to protect lands and historical sites around the country.  What Vet Voice Foundation does is that they find veterans that do care about these places or have a connection to specific places and they elevate their voice.  Me personally, I was brought on by a good friend of mine, Garrett Reppinhagan. He used to be the Western States Director for Vet Voice Foundation.  I made the connection to my service with the 10th Mountain Division in Afghanistan and Camp Hale.  If you don’t know about Camp Hale, it is where the 10th Mountain Division started.  It’s just outside of Leadville, Colorado.  There used to be 14,000 people stationed in this tiny little valley and that’s where you hear about the ski mountaineers.

Brad Noone:    27:58    Our skiing troops and our winter mountaineering and the U.S. Army still uses both summer and winter mountaineering schools. I know the Marine Corps has their own.  The great connection between 10th mountain or Camp Hale and a lot of the western states ski industry is that most or a lot of these big resorts, places like Vale, Aspen, Steamboat Springs were started by veterans from 10th Mountain Division who came home after World War II and were looking for coping mechanisms. They fell in love with the training that they were doing, the hiking, the skiing, the climbing, and they went back out to the mountains when they came home. The Appalachian Trail was first hiked all the way through by a World War II veteran looking to walk off the war.  There’s a great book by Doug Peacock called Walking Off The War.  I highly suggest it.  He’s a special forces veteran in World War II and has incredible perspective on the outdoors and conservation and things along those lines.

Scott DeLuzio:    29:26    Great. So, I’ll link to all of these organizations in the notes for the show with brief descriptions about what each of them is up to and things like that. And also, to that book that you were just referring to, as well.  I think all of these organizations and I’m sure there’s others that are out there but all of these organizations I think are really great and a really a great way for veterans to get outside and like you said, “walk off the war” to get outside, clear your mind,  get that physical energy out and boost that mental energy. Get yourself into a better mental space and when you make a habit out of these things, when it’s not just a one and done type of thing,

Scott DeLuzio:    30:21     I think it totally can transform your mental state of mind and really help things out. Now, obviously I would say before we started recording, I’m not a licensed therapist or counselor or anything like that. So, I can’t say for sure, if you go outside and do X amount of exercise every day or hike or anything like that, that it’s automatically going to fix you or whatever the issues are that you’re going through. I can’t say that.  I don’t think any of us,

Brad Noone:    30:56    Neither can l, I’m not a licensed therapist or anything. I’m a volunteer. I’m a veteran and I care.

Scott DeLuzio:    31:03    Sure. I think that’s where a lot of us come from and the way I see it is, it’s not going to hurt you to try and maybe this is a thing that out there and you’re like, “wow, after a little bit, this, at first I thought it was going to suck because I haven’t gotten off the couch for years and years but it’s actually not so bad. So, it’s actually making me feel good and I’m enjoying that fresh air and enjoying getting outside and everything and getting a little bit of sunshine on my face and everything. So, this is great stuff. Great Information. And I’ll bet, like I said, I’ll link to all of this in the notes for the show.

Brad Noone:    31:46    Please link my personal contact information there.  Anybody who feels like they could use some of these organizations or wants to learn more about them can reach out on my end as well.

Scott DeLuzio:    31:58    Yeah, absolutely. And I’m sure all of these organizations have ways to get in touch on their websites as well. So, your inbox isn’t getting bombarded with all that stuff either.

Brad Noone:    32:14    I just wanted to say that, I said at the end I would say which organizations I’m with and which I’m not. I’m no longer with Sierra Club Military Outdoors or Veterans’ Expeditions.  I am still with Operation Vet Fit and I am still volunteering with Vet Voice Foundation.

Scott DeLuzio:    32:31    Cool. Okay.  So that’s good to know that if they reach out about those other two, it’s not necessarily you that’s going to be the person that they’re interacting with but they potentially could be interacting with the others, Operation Vet Fit and Vet Voice Foundation, which is good to know.  What advice would you give to a veteran who might be struggling with some issues, maybe similar combat related issues to what you are going through. Maybe it’s PTSD or whatever you might want to call it.  Maybe they don’t realize how powerful it can be to get outside. What would you say to them as far as like first steps? What would you say would be the thing for them to do to get off the couch and get outside?  What would that first step look like to somebody?

Brad Noone:    33:31    Sure.  You can tackle it a number of different ways.  I’ll just run down how I discovered it.  I had been looking for something.  I was looking for something other than alcohol, other than partying, other than the bar scene, other than Karaoke to go out every day to a place to put this energy and this mentality in these thoughts. Well, I needed a way to process them.  So, I just reached out to random veterans’ organizations. This was 2007, I think, or 2008 Wounded Warrior Project was the biggest one out there.  I had started heading out with them.  It wasn’t too much outdoor stuff. I knew I enjoyed shooting.  So, they had a trap and skeet shooting event that I went to and that was incredible and I had a blast. But it was just a one and done.

Brad Noone:    34:38    It didn’t have that community; they were a very big organization that took in a lot of money and had a lot of civilians and a lot of veterans and it just seemed all over the place.  It just seemed like people would pop out of the blue and say, “hey, you want to go on this?” “Okay, when can I expect the next one?” “We don’t know. We’ll reach out.” So, it was like, “okay, what else can we do?”  So, I just started going hiking on my own.  I looked for what were the tallest peaks in the state surrounding me. I started to see if I could go climb them.  It started off really easy. I went up for a half mile hike and I was tired.

Brad Noone:    35:22    I was exhausted after that because I wasn’t in shape. I had an ankle injury and I had the brain injury and I was sitting on the couch. Something that I’ve discovered and then a lot of folks have shared the sentiment with me both in the veteran outdoor community and civilian outdoor community is that a body at rest tends to stay at rest. A body in motion tends to stay in motion.  When we think of Newton’s laws and the picture books or textbooks where a rock is rolling and it’s not going to stop rolling unless something else stops it. That same mantra applies to the human body, both our mind and our emotions and our physical being. If you just sit there and you don’t work on it, it’s going to stay down, low and depressed

Brad Noone:    36:09     and inactive.  There’s some really good political art or cartoons that are on the Internet right now of folks sitting there with a remote in their hand and growing out of their butt into the couch or roots like a tree.  It’s just the opposite as well. If you’re out there, even if it’s a half mile a day, even if you go for a two-mile hike or two-mile run twice a week, something, just to get you moving   like you had stated earlier, Scott, once that becomes habit, it’s much easier. You feel way better. Your energy goes, your mentality, you have a coping mechanism or a way to process it like the things that are going on in your head and your emotions.

Brad Noone:    37:03     It’s not a cure all. It’s not an end all be all, the outdoors isn’t.  I don’t think anything is.  I think that the outdoors is just that, it’s a coping mechanism and a healthy one at that.  It does give you a skillset.  There are team sports like rafting.  There are individual sports like, free solo rock climbing or skiing.  I don’t suggest anybody go out into the outdoors on their own, at least to start.  Always let somebody know where you’re going, things like that.  But go outside. Don’t be afraid that you’re going to get eaten by a bear.  Don’t be afraid that you’re going to get caught in a thunderstorm or hailstorm.  It actually brings up a really good experience that I had and it was, I think my second year as a river guide, as a raft guide out here in Colorado.

Brad Noone:    38:07    It was going to rain. We said, “screw it. We’re going anyway.” So, we went up to this really fun Class 4 run, that we call the Numbers on the Arkansas River, just outside of Buena Vista, Colorado and right as we launch from the shore, the skies open up with thunder and lightning, raining, sleet. It was like snowing and sleet.  It was thunder. It was fire and brimstone big thunderstorm, which aren’t super common here out in the high desert mountains of Colorado. But it was one of the best experiences on the river I’ve ever had. We’re hitting these huge waves and these huge holes in the river and we’re just getting soaked with freezing cold water and there’s lightning and thunder all around you. It felt like I was in a movie. It was just so much fun and it made me feel as cool and as Badass as I did when I was doing the cool stuff in the military.

Brad Noone:    39:09     That’s a part of the outdoors that a lot of other things can’t give you, it’s that adrenaline?  That rush. Every single time I put on the river, I have a little bit of apprehension in my stomach, a little knot, it’s like when, and this is more geared towards combat folks or folks who are outside the wire, it’s every time you get geared up and you’re starting to roll outside that wire, out into the combat zone, it’s, “hey, this is real.” There is inherent danger in this but we know what we’re doing and the outdoors is just like that.  You take courses and you learn from people who have been there and done it.  It’s a standard progression, the crawl, walk, run progression. Start off slow and baby steps. And then before you know it, give yourself a couple months, especially if you’re really dedicated into it, you’ll be advancing quicker than you ever thought and it doesn’t matter.

Brad Noone:    40:13    Well, I just said it doesn’t matter. It doesn’t matter the sport or the discipline that you choose.

Scott DeLuzio:    40:20    Yeah, absolutely. And I was actually going to say something along those lines.  I know when I first got into running, when I got out here, I hadn’t really gotten off the couch for a few years after getting out of the military. It probably was three, four years or so. I didn’t really exercise; I didn’t work out. I didn’t get outside very often outside of doing yard work and stuff like that.  I just didn’t for whatever reason. And the first day I decided to go out for a run, I went about a half mile and I felt like I was about to puke because it was just so out of shape and I was in such bad shape or whatever. And I just walked back home the half mile; I went out a half mile and I just walked back there a half and I was just like this was so miserable.

Scott DeLuzio:    41:15    But I forced myself to just keep at it because I knew I was in shape. I wouldn’t say like I was in the military, I was in pretty decent shape back then. I knew that I could get back to that spot, maybe not quite as great of shape but I knew I could go for a run and not feel winded or not feel like I was going to puke because I knew I could get back to that. And so, I just kept at it and kept going and going and going. And I actually worked out a schedule with my wife because we have three young kids. And so, I go running one day and she goes running the next day and we just switch off every day, every other day.

Scott DeLuzio:    41:56    And so three to four times a week I’d go out to run and it just feels great, going out and getting that exercise now.  Over time, I’m able to build more miles. I’ve done half marathons and things like that now and that’s a long way from feeling like you’re going to puke after a half mile to being able to do over 13 miles in a half mile marathon. So, it’s hard at first, but it gets easier like what you’re saying and it doesn’t matter what you’re doing, whether it’s a walk around your neighborhood or going for a hike up in the mountains. Go rafting or climbing or whatever it is, get outside and that is really going to help transform the energy that you have.

Brad Noone:  Yeah, I fully agree.

Brad Noone:    42:52     Going back to how I got into the outdoors, I did have a major ankle injury while I was in the military and Scott, I’m sure you remember, at that time I was pretty well laid up even while I was in the national guard.  And then I got my surgery on my ankle and I got out and they’re like, “hey, you might not walk again. Sorry, they didn’t say, he might not walk again.  They said, “you might not walk without a limb ever again.” They said, “you probably won’t run, you’re definitely not going to climb mountains and things like that. And I go, “Oh yeah?”  A year later I ran a half marathon. One year later I ran a half marathon but I had the same experience.  I went out and I was like, “you know what”, they tell me I’m not going to run again.

Brad Noone:    43:38    I’m not going to do these things. I’m going to pick a goal. And I did. And I think that’s really important, as well for any coping mechanisms, specifically the outdoors. I think for me it was easy with the outdoors or running. I signed up for a couple of road races. I signed up for a 5K and then I signed up for another 5K and then signed up for my half marathon.  That kept me committed because I was already paid.  I committed to this and I had found a running partner. I’d found somebody that was willing to run with me and helped me out, especially at the beginning when I was not doing too hot. I’m coming back from an injury and a bit of laziness and depression attached to military service.

Brad Noone:    44:25      The outdoors is really easy to pick a goal. At least for me, it was.  You see all these incredible photos on the Internet. There your backgrounds for your phones, for your computers, for pictures on your wall. Say it’s the Grand Tetons or it’s the Great Smokey Mountains or the Appalachian Trail or it’s the Matter Horn in Europe or Denali or Everest or whatever.  You can pick that and then you ask yourself what are the skills that I need to get to that level? And then you’re okay, right. And then you break it down from there.  Growing up, I was a big hiker. My father always took us on a small local section of the Appalachian Trail that ran through Connecticut, back in Kent, Connecticut.

Brad Noone:    45:14   So, hiking and backpacking was my bread and butter. Let me start there. I want to go climb some mountains and I picked the mountain. I want to go climb this 14,000-foot peak. And it’s actually in the same town that I live in right now out here in Colorado, central Colorado. It’s Mount Princeton. And that was my first 14,000-foot peak. And I did that. I’m using that same progression. I started off hiking small things, go up to a local waterfall or go up to a Connecticut peak that was a lot smaller as a 1,000-foot gain instead of 5,000 feet gain. And it’s those baby steps.  But it’s easy to get discouraged. It’s really easy to get discouraged, especially when you’re looking at that stupid mountain all damn day and it never gets any closer but then you’re finally at the top and you’re like, WOW, that really wasn’t too bad.

Brad Noone:    46:07    Yeah, it was a long, hard day of hiking and climbing and weather and things like that. But when you get up there, that’s what it’s all about.  That hard work, that reward and then you come down and you’re just riding that high all the way back down to the trail head.  There’s a huge sense of accomplishment and it’s addicting. It’s very addicting. I accomplished this one. Okay, let me pick one a little bit higher or one that has a little bit rougher trail or requires ropes to get up and around and that’s your progression. You build that confidence with each peak you go up, with each river you raft, with each new section, with each road race or each distance or time record you break of your own or somebody else’s.

Scott DeLuzio:    47:00    Right? Absolutely. Well this has been great information. All the stuff about getting outside and

Scott DeLuzio:    47:11    all the physical activities and everything that you’re talking about. I think it’s really great and I think it’s important information to get out to other vets who might be having trouble trying to figure out what they are supposed to do.  What’s next and all that stuff.  So, I wanted to thank you for sharing your story and sharing these other organizations and how vets can start getting outdoors.  I did have one other question for you. I preface it with, it can be answered both seriously or with a joke or a combination of the two, whichever you prefer. But the question is, “is there anything that you wish someone would’ve told you before you joined the military?” We’ve already had someone say that the recruiters lie. So, I think that’s common knowledge.

Brad Noone:    48:08    Yeah, recruiters lie. I don’t trust the government, you know?  It’s hard and things like that. Honestly.

Scott DeLuzio:    48:14    Military grade isn’t really all it’s cracked up to be

Brad Noone:    48:18     Military Spec. No, the piece of advice that I wish somebody had given me was to find that thing that matters to you most in life and give your heart to it, even if that is a military career.  For me it wasn’t a military career. I did eight years and two of them active and six guard and it wasn’t for me, it wasn’t my passion. I was good at it. Sure.  Just like you were Scott, I don’t know if it was your passion or not but I’m unsure.  Find that passion to follow. Really follow your heart, as Cliché as it does sound, because after the military, you still have to live with yourself and that’s what really matters.  Military is a small part or can be a large part of people’s lives, but it’s not everything.

Scott DeLuzio:    49:20    No, it’s not. And there’s definitely a much bigger picture to that. And if your only identity is the military, that might not necessarily be the right thing for you.  Especially if that’s not the thing that matters to you the most. If it’s family or whatever, there’s other things out there. So,

Brad Noone:    49:43    and it’s easy to fall back on that mentality or to fall back on what the military trains you to do because it’s what we know best. There’s a reason that the US excels in the militarily it’s because we’re trained very well.  Get outside of your comfort zone. I had to get outside of mine and I still live outside of it and it’s still a challenge every day to do that, but it’s worth it. It’s worth it 100% every day, every time.

Scott DeLuzio:    50:16    Absolutely. Well, thank you again for sharing your story and I will link to all of this stuff in the show notes and let people know where to find some of these organizations and how they can get outdoors and get involved with these types of things.

Brad Noone:   Every single one of these organizations is always looking for motivated and honest and qualified volunteers. So please check them out, check them out and get out with us.

Scott DeLuzio:    50:48    Thanks for listening to the Drive On Podcast. If you want to check out more episodes or learn more about the show, you can visit our website, DriveOnPodcast.com we’re on Facebook, Twitter, and Instagram at DriveOnPodcast.

]]> 00:51:12 <![CDATA[Healing Through Artwork]]> Tue, 08 Oct 2019 01:00:16 +0000 Scott DeLuzio https://drive-on-podcast.castos.com/podcasts/2296/episodes/healing-through-artwork Edward Santos was an infantry soldier who served two tours in Afghanistan. In his second tour he was sent home early for medical issues, which began to affect him more than just physically.

Eventually he stumbled upon painting and photography as an outlet which helped improve his overall mental health.

Links & Resources

Transcript

Scott DeLuzio:    00:00    Hey everybody, this is the Drive On Podcast where we talk about issues affecting veterans after they get out of the military. I’m your host, Scott DeLuzio. And now let’s get on with the show.

Scott DeLuzio:  Hey everyone, thanks for tuning into the Drive On Podcast.   Today my guest is Edward Santos who served with me in Afghanistan in 2010 and he also deployed to Afghanistan in 2006. Since getting out of the military, he’s found a more creative outlet, which I wanted to talk to him about that might help other veterans who are coming back from deployments or getting out of the military. So, Santos, I don’t want to give too much away here about what you’re up to and things that you have been involved with but why don’t you go ahead and tell us a little bit about yourself.

Edward Santos:    00:51    Oh, first of all, let me thank you for inviting me onto your show. This is a real honor. It’s been a while since you and I chatted and it’s great to be able to reconnect here on your show and I want to congratulate you first on this show. I think it’s amazing what you’re doing and getting the word out to other veterans is something that a lot of veterans are extremely passionate about because when you return home, it’s not always an easy thing to transition back into society.  We all need those different outlets.  Thank you so much for inviting me on and hopefully I can share a little bit of my experience and different outlets I’ve found in helping me readjust and stay on that right path.

Scott DeLuzio:    01:50    And thank you for being here. Why don’t you tell us a little bit about yourself and your journey, your path.

Edward Santos:    02:01     I’m Edward Santos and I was born and raised in New York City in the Bronx. Right before 2001, I was an electrician when the whole 911 tragedy happened. That whole patriotic movement is what actually inspired me to join the military. I enlisted in the New York National Guard transferred to the Puerto Rico National Guard, served with them. Went off to basic training here in Ft. Benning, Georgia where I’m living now. And then I transferred to Connecticut National Guard in 2004, shortly after we went on our first deployment in 2006. It’s been a long road from 2006 to now.  We volunteered for that 2009-2010 deployment and just so much has happened since then.

Edward Santos:    03:03    I had to leave a little bit early, so I struggled a lot.

Edward Santos:    03:13    I was one of the older veterans, I can confidently say. My body wasn’t as fit as the young 20 and 25-year olds, so I had to leave earlier than I wanted to.  Having to leave my team and my platoonmates behind really took a toll on me. I felt a lot of guilt. I felt like a failure when I got home. My team got home and I was still stuck at Fort Drum for another year after that. Then another six months at West Point after that until the army medically retired me. So, it was a long struggle.  It was bitter sweet getting out and I struggled with that.

Scott DeLuzio:    04:06    Yeah, sure.

Edward Santos:    04:15    So, struggling with that, it was really tough and I think one of the...

]]> full 19 false Edward Santos was an infantry soldier who served two tours in Afghanistan. In his second tour he was sent home early for medical issues, which began to affect him more than just physically.

Eventually he stumbled upon painting and photography as an outlet which helped improve his overall mental health.

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Transcript

Scott DeLuzio:    00:00    Hey everybody, this is the Drive On Podcast where we talk about issues affecting veterans after they get out of the military. I’m your host, Scott DeLuzio. And now let’s get on with the show.

Scott DeLuzio:  Hey everyone, thanks for tuning into the Drive On Podcast.   Today my guest is Edward Santos who served with me in Afghanistan in 2010 and he also deployed to Afghanistan in 2006. Since getting out of the military, he’s found a more creative outlet, which I wanted to talk to him about that might help other veterans who are coming back from deployments or getting out of the military. So, Santos, I don’t want to give too much away here about what you’re up to and things that you have been involved with but why don’t you go ahead and tell us a little bit about yourself.

Edward Santos:    00:51    Oh, first of all, let me thank you for inviting me onto your show. This is a real honor. It’s been a while since you and I chatted and it’s great to be able to reconnect here on your show and I want to congratulate you first on this show. I think it’s amazing what you’re doing and getting the word out to other veterans is something that a lot of veterans are extremely passionate about because when you return home, it’s not always an easy thing to transition back into society.  We all need those different outlets.  Thank you so much for inviting me on and hopefully I can share a little bit of my experience and different outlets I’ve found in helping me readjust and stay on that right path.

Scott DeLuzio:    01:50    And thank you for being here. Why don’t you tell us a little bit about yourself and your journey, your path.

Edward Santos:    02:01     I’m Edward Santos and I was born and raised in New York City in the Bronx. Right before 2001, I was an electrician when the whole 911 tragedy happened. That whole patriotic movement is what actually inspired me to join the military. I enlisted in the New York National Guard transferred to the Puerto Rico National Guard, served with them. Went off to basic training here in Ft. Benning, Georgia where I’m living now. And then I transferred to Connecticut National Guard in 2004, shortly after we went on our first deployment in 2006. It’s been a long road from 2006 to now.  We volunteered for that 2009-2010 deployment and just so much has happened since then.

Edward Santos:    03:03    I had to leave a little bit early, so I struggled a lot.

Edward Santos:    03:13    I was one of the older veterans, I can confidently say. My body wasn’t as fit as the young 20 and 25-year olds, so I had to leave earlier than I wanted to.  Having to leave my team and my platoonmates behind really took a toll on me. I felt a lot of guilt. I felt like a failure when I got home. My team got home and I was still stuck at Fort Drum for another year after that. Then another six months at West Point after that until the army medically retired me. So, it was a long struggle.  It was bitter sweet getting out and I struggled with that.

Scott DeLuzio:    04:06    Yeah, sure.

Edward Santos:    04:15    So, struggling with that, it was really tough and I think one of the key things and one of the blessing that I’ve had in my life, first and foremost has been family, [they] have been my support. [Phone ringing sound] My apologies for that my mom calls me every day to check up on me. Having a support circle that will be tight knit, it’s key to being able to readjust to whatever traumas or issue that you may be going through when you come back from being on deployment. So, first and foremost, I’ve always thanked my family for keeping me on the straight and narrow path every time I’ve taken a few steps backwards. So, when I feel like I’m stepping backwards, my family is there to inspire me to continue moving forward?

Scott DeLuzio:    05:17    That’s one of the common reoccurring themes that I found with talking to other veterans is that whether it’s family or friends or whatever it is, it’s that kind of togetherness and having a core group of people that keep you on the right path to keep your head on straight.  It seems like a common theme.  It’s good that you have that as well.

Edward Santos:    05:48    Yeah, it is absolutely crucial. I mean your family is first watch, they’re like your service dog. They know you better than you know yourself. Where you think you’re having a great day, they can see little things in your attitude, in your anger, your demeaner are starting to change and they recognize those red flags right away and they redirect your attention. Family is absolutely crucial to the beginning of getting into the readjustment to society because they know you better than anybody else. So, when I came back, my family was the one that encouraged me to start going up to the PTSD groups at the Newington [Connecticut] VA at the time when I was still living in Rhode Island and I would travel to the Newington VA on the advice of my family and I got into some groups there.

Edward Santos:    06:52    At first, like everyone else, especially with being in the infantry. You’re like, there’s nothing wrong with me. I can handle anything, were like superman? And that’s how we all think coming back, especially when you’re in a combat unit. You want to still feel like that super soldier but your body’s telling you otherwise and you’re trying to fight it and it’s a constant tennis match. And I feel in my head, it’s a tennis match here, you’re going back and forth with I’m superman. No, I’m not. You know, I took the advice and then started going to these groups. And, one day I’m sitting at the group and the counselor says, “Hey, there is a Vietnam veteran here teaching veterans who like yourself, who returned from overseas, how to paint like Bob Ross. What?  I grew up watching Bob Ross paint happy little trees maybe a little something in this tree here.

Edward Santos:    07:51    I’d like to try that. And I took the first class and the class was being taught by a Vietnam veteran. Gary an amazing artist and painter who himself was inspired by Bob Ross. He went down to Florida, took the Bob Ross School, became a certified instructor and wanted to share that passion.  I was fortunate enough to stumble upon him at the Newington VA and I took that first class and I was blown away by the landscape that I painted in 30 minutes.  I was just absolutely blown away. I’ve always seen him on TV with his soft-spoken voice and painting these amazing landscapes of Alaska and stuff like that. And when I painted that in 30 minutes, I was blown away. I mean, I left that class and I went right to the art store and I bought everything Bob Ross I could find. Every week I would go to Gary’s class and paint another landscape and it was mind blowing.  I started posting these landscapes on Facebook and people were loving them and wanted them. I was just blown away, something that I created, people were loving it.

Scott DeLuzio:    09:20    You start from just a blank canvas. There’s nothing, it’s just a white nothing and you create this something that people are flocking over and they’re really enjoying to look at and everything like that. So that’s an amazing feeling to have. It’s like, I created this from nothing.

Edward Santos:    09:43     It was absolutely mind blowing that I found myself wanting to paint every single day from that one-week class. So, I was stuck in my basement just looking up YouTube, Bob Ross videos online to come to the house. I thought along this way, I didn’t have to just wait an entire week. I just waited because it hit me like a ton of bricks. It just was something that sparked my passion inside. I never knew I had because here I was, Infantry for nine and a half years. I worked as a Connecticut Corrections Officer for a couple of years and my life was growing up in the Bronx, where everything was rough, hardcore type of lifestyle. You know, here’s this rough, hardcore guy who grew up in this craziness and worked in this craziness and now I’m sitting in the basement painting beautiful landscapes.

Scott DeLuzio:    10:49     I’ve heard the actual story about Bob Ross, he served, I believe it was in the Air Force and he was, I guess like amongst the guys who served under him that he was a hard ass. He would just be yelling at people and he just had that rough and tough attitude. Then he got out and he was like, this isn’t me. I don’t want to be this guy. I was doing a job and that’s what I had to do to get that job done but I don’t want to be that guy. And so, he like transformed himself into the guy that you saw on television that you grew up watching on TV.

Edward Santos:    11:29    It makes absolutely perfect sense in my mind because I was working infantry and every other word is the f word out of our mouths, where we are talking amongst each other in a prison environment. Forget about it. And you’re just yelling and everything.  Growing up in New York City, in the Bronx, with my friends out on the street corners where everything was just hardcore and I always felt there was more out there and the artwork of Bob Ross really softened me up and really allowed me to start viewing life in a different way. When I painted, I was in my own world. I was just coming out of this dark world and entering this, it reminds me of the painting in that movie with Robin Williams when, I’m not sure if you’ve ever seen that movie.

Edward Santos:    12:33    Painting becomes his eternity after he passes.

Scott DeLuzio:  Oh, right, yes. Yeah.

Edward Santos:  You know, and it just allows you to see the world in color where it’s living in this black and white world. And the art really brightened up the world for me when I would sit there and paint.  So, like I was saying, I started painting, people started noticing it and one day I had a friend of mine say, “Wow, your paintings are really good, you should try to get them into a gallery.”  I think, “Nah, this is just something that I do on my downtime.” I’m not comfortable talking to people and putting my art somewhere. But again, family came into play and they were like, “Hey, you need to do this. We will take you over.

Edward Santos:    13:31    You try to get it into your first art show. And what happened was thankfully at the same Newington VA there was a group there started by an Iraqi veteran called the Veterans’ Heart Art Foundation and I heard that they were having their first ever art show.  My family inspired me to approach them. I approached the president who started the foundation and they accepted my artwork into their first art show and that just blew the doors wide open when I noticed it. Here you have a group of veterans when you thought you were the only one. Now you meet a group of veterans who are just like you, painting and sculpting and all types of different art. It’s coming from veterans, just like yourself and it was a very inspiring thing to see and I was fortunate enough to be invited to get heavily involved with them.

Edward Santos:    14:46    When I did, I’m able to be a part of their amazing art shows. They had art shows all over Connecticut.  Just inspiring veterans of all eras, Vietnam veterans. We have Vietnam veterans, Korean veterans from the Korean War. They’re displaying their art, and it is just absolutely amazing. Since then, what it taught me was the more I put my art into a place, the easier it became for me to come out of my shell and speak to people.  I was more of a hermit after coming back, always putting myself down, that I failed, that I didn’t become super soldier. I wanted to be but my body didn’t allow me to, I became a hermit because of all those thoughts. And every time I would step backwards, I’d get into painting and you get involved with the art and it would just draw me out and draw me up as this different person inside of me who

Scott DeLuzio:    15:59    It’s a way to kind of express yourself; it’s almost like that the icebreaker, when you meet someone for the first time and you have nothing in common but you start talking about something like that icebreaker that you might have. And then the conversation flows. Whereas with this, you have your art and then that’s the common bond that people have with you. They see the art and talk to you, approach you and talk to you about that. And then it opens up the door. It feels like you would be able to talk to people more freely at that point.  Is that sort of along the lines of what you’re talking about?

Edward Santos:    16:37    Yeah, absolutely. It wasn’t only with veterans. What I noticed was in the beginning when I first started to display my art and I was that veteran artists and I would have my picture on the wall and I was standing way back and would just watch people admire my work and ask for the artist and I’d be hiding behind a column somewhere because I was afraid to talk about my art and what inspired me to paint such a thing. But little by little, the Veterans Art Foundation, those fellow veterans would call me out. Hey, that’s the artist right there. That’s Edward Santos, he painted this. I would be forced to speak to these people about what inspired me and how I started. And without even realizing it, it opened me up.  Before you knew it I was the social butterfly at the art show, at the art school where I’d hang my painting on the wall and the second I’d see someone looking at one of my pieces, I’d run right up to them, put my arm around them and I told them exactly why that painting would look great on their walls.

Scott DeLuzio:    17:43    Yeah. Because when you were saying that you clammed up and you just weren’t talking to people and you’re hiding out in the corner and everything. That’s not the Santos that I knew.

Edward Santos:    18:02    Absolutely amazing. You know how I was with the fellows, I joke around and stuff like that after coming home and feeling like I couldn’t get into regular society and feeling like a failure and feeling the guilt, it just really knocks you down to the point where you just want to be in bed all day. You don’t want to associate with people but the art just drew me out of there and slowly I was a hermit at the art show, but little by little without realizing it, I became that Santos that you remember kicking down the door in Afghanistan with my guitar and more boring guys like Gaston saying I’m Johnny Cash and throw rocks at me for my horrible guitar playing. Yeah.

Scott DeLuzio:    18:52    Yup. That’s along the lines of what I was talking about. You were not the one to just sit back and be quiet. You had the guitar out, you were out there playing, it didn’t matter. It didn’t matter how good anyone thought you were. You just enjoyed playing it. So, you’re out there and you’re playing so you did it.

Edward Santos:    19:15    That’s the kind of things that going overseas, whether you’re in a firefight or you lose someone or you come back or like I did feeling like a failure. I felt like I let people down. And I could have done more. But because your body’s telling you otherwise you get back over here and all of a sudden you find yourself alone in your house and your buddies are no longer around. They’re out there trying to build their own lives and stuff like that. And I just really fell into a deep dark, dark place and that dark passenger as I called it, binged watched a lot of shows during that time. I binge watch a lot of shows and Dexter was one of my favorites and the way he described his demon was his dark passenger. I was like, that’s exactly what it feels like you have a dark passenger right there constantly reminding you that you’re a failure.

Edward Santos:    20:19    You have to find ways to keep that dark passenger at bay and the art was what did it for me. When I feel that dark passenger trying to creep in and say, “you’re not going to succeed at this. You’re not going to succeed at this, not going to succeed at this.”  I pick up my art tools and redirect my attention and my focus and that along with my family, my constant support team, it pulls me away into a different direction. And with the art, I want to inspire. I hope this podcast will inspire other veterans to seek out the art, whether it’s painting, photography, sculpting, car building, kayaking, whatever it is you enjoy that makes you feel free. That makes you open up your eyes and see that there’s a beautiful world out there. I want you to go out there and seek it out. And for me it started with painting.

Edward Santos:    21:28    Uh, yeah.

Edward Santos:    21:30    And then it slowly transitioned to what is photography now? You know? Wow. Because I felt when I was painting, although I loved it and I was doing really well. My paintings were everywhere, in different art galleries throughout Connecticut, Rhode Island, and New York. A few were chosen in New York City, which was amazing.  I always found that I had to be stuck in my basement and painting? So, although I loved it, I always felt like I was stuck in the basement painting.  A fellow artist one day suggested, “why don’t you go out and start taking pictures with your iPhone and painting your photographs. Man, that’s a neat idea. So, I couldn’t afford expensive cameras. I started with my iPhone and what I found out was this entire community of mobile photographers who call themselves iphonography. The big movement called iphonography.

Edward Santos:    22:33    And I was blown away with what the iPhone camera could do and how recognized it was among the art community. And so, I started taking pictures without even realizing it, the picture that I intended to go back home and paint, they never got to the canvas because the photography, without realizing, drew me out of that basement. Once I started seeing the picture that I could carry and capture with my phone, I was like, wow, and here I was outdoors now. Now I’m wanting my wife to take me here. And take me there. I want to go photograph this and I want to go photograph this storm coming in. I want to photograph this wave coming in. I want to get pictures of waves and even by the beach in Rhode Island I had the opportunity to walk down to the beach every day and get pictures of waves and sand and sky.

Edward Santos:    23:32    ah.

Edward Santos:    23:33    So I started creating artwork with just my phone and a digital painting, different apps that allow you to create, turn your photography into a work of art.

Edward Santos:    23:48   Well, I started doing that and dabbling and go in a gallery where they were having mobile photography art shows and I decided to submit one of my photographs and I turned into a piece of art and low and behold it was juried into the gallery for the show. And the next thing you know here I was having photographs, that I created with my iPhone in galleries throughout Connecticut, Rhode Island and then New York and started getting more heavily involved in the photography community in different Facebook groups. Getting more recognition for my artwork. Getting the banner cover photo here and there, blown away.

Edward Santos:    24:34    One of my biggest achievements came of a photograph of a friend of mine that I took a call for artists for iPhone photography only called Impossible Humans. And this show was in Italy. I was like, man, wouldn’t that be great if I could get into a show in Italy? I took a photograph, a portrait of my buddy, and I turned it into this black and white portrait and sent it over to Italy. Next thing you know, I’m getting an email back. Congratulations, you’ve been accepted to the show and a month later, congratulations, you won best in show. I was like, Wow. That was amazing. To see, something that started out from nothing into getting so much recognition in Europe.

Scott DeLuzio:    25:35    I think one of the big takeaways from that is that if you let that kind of darkness linger over you and just, “Oh, I’m not good enough. I’m not going to do this kind of artwork. I’m not going to go out and I’m not going to take these pictures. I’m not going to do any of that stuff because I’m just not good enough.” And you let that darkness just linger over you. None of the good stuff would have come from that. Submitting your picture for that show in Italy and then winning the best in show, winning over there, wouldn’t have happened if you just allowed that dark cloud to hang over you. So, you almost have to force yourself to do some of this stuff in order to break through and see the more positive stuff that’s out there. But it’s a good thing that you do that type of stuff. Otherwise, you’d still be thinking, “oh well, I’m just not good enough. I’m not good enough. I shouldn’t even bother.”

Edward Santos:    26:37    yeah, absolutely I heavily advise every veteran

Edward Santos:    26:44    I’m still a part of PTSD groups. One of the biggest things I like to get involved in is with the Vet center. I love going to the vet center and in a group out there. I’ve seen the arts and how it changed the way I was and how it’s changed a lot of the veterans.  A lot of the veterans that I had started art with in Connecticut continue their art shows out there; they have monthly art shows. It drew them out of that PTSD group.  I saw veterans that only went from home to the group and back home to now veteran starting groups where they meet once a week and they travel in groups to botanical gardens, on boat rides.

Edward Santos:    27:35    That veteran group, it was started by a Vietnam veteran in Newington, Connecticut. They’re still going strong. They got me out on an amazing tour when I was living over there to photograph lighthouses around New England. That was it. And these were all guys who at one point were just going from their house to the group and back. And now all of a sudden, they’re in groups and the group started from one or two guys who love photography to a group of about 15 to 20 and they’re probably bigger now. So, the art inspires you to inspire others and see the world and different places.  As I went from painting on a canvas to picking up the camera and now photographing with a camera, what I noticed every time my wife, she knows me better than I do,

Edward Santos:    28:32    when she is seeing my demeanor changing, my attitude changing, she’ll pick up my camera and say, “listen, let’s go for a ride.” Looking into that Lens, I’m able to see the beauty of the world and it absolutely overshadows whatever darkness or whatever it is I’m going through or thinking about; seeing the colors, especially this time of year, I’m looking forward to that, to the fall foliage. It’s peace and tranquility and just mesmerizing. And it’s something that makes you feel really good inside. And the arts can do that for you. Whether you’re sitting in there creating something out of clay where you are two seconds ago, thinking about dark times or a significant loss. Now your mind is redirected and you’re creating a thing of beauty from your mind. You’re putting your thoughts into that project and it’s amazing where your thoughts, a lot of times for me, they’re dark. Well, when I take that photograph, that thought now just became this beautiful,

Edward Santos:    29:49    landscape. I was painting those dark thoughts now are beautiful colors on a canvas that people are loving and being inspired by it. So, I highly recommend and suggest to all the veterans pick up some sort of art, get involved in groups where you’re going to meet other veterans who are like minded and listen to your family. Your family’s your biggest support. You know, they’re there. They’re your first responders. They’re my first responders; they know me. They’re like a PTSD dog for a veteran who has epilepsy? They know before even before a veteran does, that’s your first responders who pick up on your slightest little change and can direct your focus, people at the vet center, PTSD groups? You’re always going to find somebody; get involved.

Scott DeLuzio:    30:49    I found that the veteran community, no matter what era you came from, whether it’s our era, the Iraq, Afghanistan Wars or Desert Storm or Vietnam or earlier or whatever, if you’re a veteran, other veterans want to help each other. We want to lift each other up. Yes. Sometimes

Scott DeLuzio:    31:14    we’ll talk about each other and we’ll joke around and everything like that, but it’s all coming from a place of love. I believe we truly want each other to be better and get better or do great things and reach our full potential. And so, if you don’t have that community, that group of people even, if you don’t have a family around you that you are comfortable with that you could trust or whatever, get involved in some of these groups. And I think that will help

Scott DeLuzio:    31:45    drive you forward to those bigger and better things like you were talking about and get involved with these organizations or other people, whether it’s at the vet center or a VA program or PTSD groups or whatever.  The people who are going there, they don’t go there wanting to see you fail. They go there because they’re trying to get through their own issues. If they can help you, maybe that will also help them. And so that’s how each other can lift each other up and get through these issues together.

Edward Santos:    32:25    I’ve found, for me, what was more helpful than the VA. I try to stay away from VA groups run by VA personnel because what I’ve found is that VA personnel are just looking to write on their daily sheet how they cured you. Compared to a VA group that’s run by volunteer civilian. Like the art group that I had with a volunteer Vietnam veteran. And his sole purpose was just to share his love with his fellow veteran. They’re writing on a sheet at the end of the day “so and so”, he attended a class and he’s fucking cured. And a lot of veterans are hesitant to be clinically analyzed. And I know I always had an issue; I always closed up.

Speaker 3    33:24    And I still do when I go to my psychiatrist, when I go to anything that is VA related magically I close up like a clam and I don’t open up because I just feel like they’re analyzing you just to put it in their report. But when I get involved with civilian-type veterans who are genuinely there to support you and seeing you get better and see you do good things in life, that’s where I function at my best. That’s when I open up. And that’s why I’m now able to share and be enthusiastic about my passion, about work, about the beauty that art offers. So, if you’re going to get involved, find a genuine place that the VA does offer where a veteran will volunteer his time, those types of groups.

Edward Santos:    34:21    The Vet Center Groups where they’re not run by counselors, they’re run by fellow veterans. Remember, community centers have different activities where veterans can come and gather together and you’re not being judged, you’re not being analyzed, you’re not being looked at as you’re faking your injuries that people can’t see. A lot of people can’t see what’s wrong with you. I’ve found that with people in the military who were like cooks or mechanics, who I met through fellow art groups and their biggest thing is, “well, I’m not infantry. I didn’t do anything.” People always ask me, why am I feeling this way when I didn’t do anything but cook. And I always tell them, “listen, you served overseas.

Edward Santos:    35:24    You were in a hostile environment. Everyday there, you didn’t even know if you were going to come home. The rocket was going to land in your FOB and over on your FOB or whatever the case may be, traveling to and from one base to another, you don’t even know what’s going to happen that weighed heavily in your mind because you didn’t go. The infantry did get into fights and do all this craziness that combat units do. That doesn’t mean that you don’t have some sort of PTSD, you feared for your life every day that he was there, that’s traumatic.

Scott DeLuzio:    36:02    Sure. And bottom line is they did what their country asked of them. You know, they went to training to learn how to be a mechanic or a cook, or whatever the job is that they did.

Edward Santos:    36:16    At one point you raised your hand and said, I will defend my country. You should be proud of that. Doesn’t matter if you were Infantry or you were a cook.  You raised your right hand and you served your country honorably. And you know,

Scott DeLuzio:    36:30    I even know some guys who served in like the mid ‘90s, when there were no major conflicts going on at that point. And they felt the same way, even though they may have been infantry or something like that they may have felt the same way because they felt like, “oh, I didn’t deploy. I didn’t go and do anything.

Edward Santos:    36:54    You raised your right hand and you served your country honorably.

Scott DeLuzio:    36:57    Exactly. Yeah. And they still were part of that deterrent, the fact that America still had a military force that was there, it still acted as a deterrent to prevent outside forces from coming in and ruining our way of life. So, the fact that they didn’t feel like they actually went out and did anything, it doesn’t mean they didn’t do anything because they still were there. They still

Edward Santos:    37:27    were ready to go away when the country needed them. Exactly. And if and when they were ready to deploy at a moment’s notice.

Edward Santos:    37:41   I’ve met guys like that who have to walk around with this guilt and I’ve seen how the arts have been able to help them as well. It’s just that art is an amazing tool, whether it’s music, painting, photography, I highly encourage each and every one of you guys out there to try some sort of art to help you cope with whatever you’re going through and you’re going to see a dramatic change where you were. If you were like me or if you’re like me, where you know, that dark passenger tries to overtake you here and there, pick up that camera and pick up that guitar. Even if you can’t play it.

Scott DeLuzio:    38:32    Is there anything that you wish someone would’ve told you before you joined the military? Some kind of either advice or things to look out for or anything like that.  It doesn’t necessarily have to be with regards to arts or anything like that. Just any generic advice for the next generation of troops that might be listening to this.

Edward Santos:    38:59    I’m actually the first ever in my family to join the military and I didn’t really seek out any advice. I saw the whole patriotic movement. I didn’t look for any advice. I’d say, I’m proud that I made the decisions that I did. It got me out from where I was born and raised and showed me a whole different world. I think a lot of people are afraid to join the military because they think they are immediately going to go to war. I’m always trying to push people towards the military because it got me from this poor Puerto Rican kid who grew up in the ghetto, the Bronx to a Puerto Rican kid who’s ready to buy his second house.

Edward Santos:    39:53  I have issues that I dealt with in the military. It also expanded my family, everyone that I served with, in the nine and a half years that I was in, is a brother or sister and someone that I can call anytime day or night and pretty much they’re always going to pick up and be there for me, if I needed them. So, as far as wishing that someone gave me any advice. No. I’d do it all over again without any advice about the military. I’d do it all over again.  When you’re a kid, you struggle and when you’re sucking life and you’re hating life. But when you get out and you’re not in it anymore, I know for myself, I miss it. I said a lot when I still see these guys who are still in and still serving there, I’m like, wow, I wish I was still there.

Scott DeLuzio:    40:57    Yeah. And it’s a sense of pride that you have to for what you’ve done, for your country and for your community and everything like that to be able to serve.  That’s the thing for me when I was going through all of that.  The training that sucked and the cold, sleeping outside and the winters and when it’s raining on you and everything else and it just sucks. Just knowing that at some point I’m going to be able to look back on this and be like I’m proud of what I did.  I think that to me was of a motivation to keep going. It’s like what we’re doing sucks right now, but it’s for a bigger cause it’s bigger than myself. It’s bigger than even this group of guys that I’m with.  Looking back on that, it was something to be proud of.

Edward Santos:    41:52    Absolutely.

Scott DeLuzio:    41:53    Anything else that you might want to add before we wrap up as we are coming up on time here.

Edward Santos:    42:01    Oh, well if you’re interested in seeking out the arts, look at your local communities, your vet centers. I’m sure there are guys there who have started art groups. Yeah, there is always call for artists. I’m going to give Scott some information on a current call for artists, for an art show in the Rhode Island area that you guys might want to get involved in if you’re artists. I’ll give him all the contact information and help me put it out for y’all, but in your states, in your counties and your towns, and even if they don’t have that, you might feel inspired to start your own veterans art group and where you are the photography or go out on walks to the parks, to the local aquarium, to the little zoos and just have a field day with local veterans and you’ll see how amazing it is to get together and go out there and start seeing the world through the eyes of a camera or being able to paint what you saw when you get home. So, I encourage everyone to go out and seek some sort of art. It’s going to take you places you’d never dreamed of, I promise you that.

Scott DeLuzio:    43:11    Well, awesome. I just want to thank you again for being on the show; it’s amazing to be able to share the success that you’ve had with your artwork and everything. I am looking forward to seeing more art coming out of you. I see you posting stuff on Facebook all the time.  I am looking forward to future artwork that comes out of you.

Edward Santos:    43:37    No, thank you. Thank you. It was definitely an honor and a privilege to be on your show and I want to wish everyone the best out there. Thanks a lot.

Scott DeLuzio:    43:47    All right. Thank you.

Scott DeLuzio:    43:50   Thanks for listening to the Drive On Podcast. If you want to check out more episodes or learn more about the show, you can visit our website, DriveOnPodcast.com we’re on Facebook, Twitter, and Instagram at DriveOnPodcast.

]]> 00:44:14 <![CDATA[Gold Star Father On Giving Back To Veterans]]> Tue, 01 Oct 2019 01:00:02 +0000 Scott DeLuzio https://drive-on-podcast.castos.com/podcasts/2296/episodes/business-reviews-and-advisors-to-veteran-entrepreneurs My father, Mark DeLuzio, talks about how he’s giving back to veterans through his organization B.R.A.V.E. (Business Reviews and Advisors to Veteran Entrepreneurs). B.R.A.V.E. is an organization, which helps veteran entrepreneurs get their businesses started.

Links & Resources

Transcript

Scott DeLuzio:    00:00    Hey everybody, this is the Drive On Podcast where we talk about issues affecting veterans after they get out of the military. I’m your host, Scott DeLuzio, and now let’s get on with the show.

Scott DeLuzio:    00:13    Hey everyone, thanks for tuning into the Drive On Podcast. Today I have Mark DeLuzio who is not only my father, but also a Gold Star Father. We’re going to talk about a service that he’s providing to veterans who are aspiring entrepreneurs or looking for career advice. I briefly talk about this service in episode five, which if you haven’t listened to it yet, you might want to go give that a listen too.  So, Dad, before I go on too much about what you do, I’m going to let you introduce yourself and tell us a little bit about your background and how you got into this.

Mark DeLuzio:    00:47    Thanks. My background, I have a pretty extensive business background in corporate America. I made it up to very high levels in the corporation. I started out in finance went into operations, general management. I was also the architect of something that we call the Danaher Business System, which is one of the most sought-after Lean Manufacturing or Lean Management systems in the country and perhaps in the world.  For the last 18 years, I’ve been in my own consulting business, actually consulting in that space and worked with all kinds of different companies, big companies, small companies, all kinds of different industries. So that’s what I do. So, I have a lot of business experience.  I know how to run a business and also a lot of entrepreneurial experience that I feel I can really offer to help others. So that’s kind of my background. I have an MBA in Operations Management. I have an Accounting degree, a Bachelor’s degree. I have a second Bachelor’s degree in Marketing and I’m certified in a number of different areas. So, that’s what I do. And that’s a real quick snap shot of my background.

Scott DeLuzio:    02:02    So the service that we’re talking about today is called B.R.A.V.E., which stands for Business Reviews and Advice for Veteran Entrepreneurs. It’s basically a service that you provide to veterans who are looking to start up a business or looking for career advice. So, how did you get the idea to start B.R.A.V.E.?

Mark DeLuzio:    02:24    Just a slight correction; It’s Business Reviews and Advisers to Veteran Entrepreneurs. Slight little change, but no big deal. How do I start? Well, you know, like most people I would say, and this is not a criticism, I think most Americans in general enjoy their life, enjoy the freedoms. Quite frankly, take their freedoms for granted. And I was one of those people, quite frankly until my two sons entered the military and then I get to see it firsthand. Well, maybe not firsthand, but I got to see a very close up picture of what you guys went through and other veterans as well as far as the sacrifice you make for the country.  As probably a lot of people know, we lost Steven, your brother, my son, in Afghanistan; he was a war hero, like you were.

Mark DeLuzio:    03:14    You were lucky enough to come home. He didn’t.  I got to see and know a lot of his brothers in arms after they all got back from Afghanistan and I started seeing quite a bit of struggles that they went through because I reall...

]]> full 18 false My father, Mark DeLuzio, talks about how he’s giving back to veterans through his organization B.R.A.V.E. (Business Reviews and Advisors to Veteran Entrepreneurs). B.R.A.V.E. is an organization, which helps veteran entrepreneurs get their businesses started.

Links & Resources

Transcript

Scott DeLuzio:    00:00    Hey everybody, this is the Drive On Podcast where we talk about issues affecting veterans after they get out of the military. I’m your host, Scott DeLuzio, and now let’s get on with the show.

Scott DeLuzio:    00:13    Hey everyone, thanks for tuning into the Drive On Podcast. Today I have Mark DeLuzio who is not only my father, but also a Gold Star Father. We’re going to talk about a service that he’s providing to veterans who are aspiring entrepreneurs or looking for career advice. I briefly talk about this service in episode five, which if you haven’t listened to it yet, you might want to go give that a listen too.  So, Dad, before I go on too much about what you do, I’m going to let you introduce yourself and tell us a little bit about your background and how you got into this.

Mark DeLuzio:    00:47    Thanks. My background, I have a pretty extensive business background in corporate America. I made it up to very high levels in the corporation. I started out in finance went into operations, general management. I was also the architect of something that we call the Danaher Business System, which is one of the most sought-after Lean Manufacturing or Lean Management systems in the country and perhaps in the world.  For the last 18 years, I’ve been in my own consulting business, actually consulting in that space and worked with all kinds of different companies, big companies, small companies, all kinds of different industries. So that’s what I do. So, I have a lot of business experience.  I know how to run a business and also a lot of entrepreneurial experience that I feel I can really offer to help others. So that’s kind of my background. I have an MBA in Operations Management. I have an Accounting degree, a Bachelor’s degree. I have a second Bachelor’s degree in Marketing and I’m certified in a number of different areas. So, that’s what I do. And that’s a real quick snap shot of my background.

Scott DeLuzio:    02:02    So the service that we’re talking about today is called B.R.A.V.E., which stands for Business Reviews and Advice for Veteran Entrepreneurs. It’s basically a service that you provide to veterans who are looking to start up a business or looking for career advice. So, how did you get the idea to start B.R.A.V.E.?

Mark DeLuzio:    02:24    Just a slight correction; It’s Business Reviews and Advisers to Veteran Entrepreneurs. Slight little change, but no big deal. How do I start? Well, you know, like most people I would say, and this is not a criticism, I think most Americans in general enjoy their life, enjoy the freedoms. Quite frankly, take their freedoms for granted. And I was one of those people, quite frankly until my two sons entered the military and then I get to see it firsthand. Well, maybe not firsthand, but I got to see a very close up picture of what you guys went through and other veterans as well as far as the sacrifice you make for the country.  As probably a lot of people know, we lost Steven, your brother, my son, in Afghanistan; he was a war hero, like you were.

Mark DeLuzio:    03:14    You were lucky enough to come home. He didn’t.  I got to see and know a lot of his brothers in arms after they all got back from Afghanistan and I started seeing quite a bit of struggles that they went through because I really do believe, Scott that the military does a really good job at training you how to put the uniform on but I don’t think they do a really good job at teaching you how to take it off and integrate back into society. You touched on that in some of your previous podcasts in terms of what that’s like.  I got a lot of experience with that in terms of just second hand experience talking to these guys and starting to learn what’s going on now.

Mark DeLuzio:    03:58    I personally didn’t serve; I never put the uniform on. I missed Vietnam by about a year and I felt guilty about it. A lot of people say, you already served; you’re a Gold Star Father. You have two boys over there at the same time in Afghanistan. I don’t feel that way. So, I said, “what can I do with my background and expertise to help these guys as they come back?” And that’s really what gave the rise of the thought of B.R.A.V.E.  I’m not a PTSD counselor. I don’t get into any of that. That’s not my qualifications. I fundamentally believe to be a good PTSD counselor, you have to have been in the arena of combat. That’s just my personal opinion. I don’t do any business consulting in that space but I do have a lot of advice I could give to either entrepreneurs on how to construct a business, how to think about a business or even somebody who needs career advice as well.

Mark DeLuzio:    04:53    So, that’s how I figured I could give back to these guys and gals. In fact, a lot of my B.R.A.V.E.  clients are women. How I can give back to them and actually contribute and maybe make a few people’s lives a little bit easier.  I’ll never get to repay them the way I should but this is my attempt to do that. I do have a full-time global consulting business that I run, so I’m doing this more or less on a part-time basis. But after I retire, whenever that is going to be, I am planning on doing this, making this my full-time endeavor. It’s a free service, Scott.  I don’t look for any money. It’s not even a 501C3, I don’t want any money involved in this at all. Any expenses will be borne by me. If I have to get on a plane to meet a veteran, I will do it at my cost.  There’s no charges or anything like that. That’s basically the essence of how we started this; how I started it with mom, as well. We envisioned how we could perhaps help our heroes who are coming back and trying to integrate back into society.

Scott DeLuzio:    06:08    And that’s great that it’s a free service that you’re offering to these veterans because a lot of times coming out of the military, you’re not exactly rolling in the dough.  You’re not making a ton of money in the military. You come out and now you have this great idea for a business, possibly. You may not know where to get started. And so, having somebody there who’s been through the startup phase of a business, even just knowing the things that some businesses might take for granted, such as filing the paperwork to get the business started and everything like that. Some people may just not have any idea of what needs to be done with regards to that. And not to say that that’s what you’re doing necessarily but you’re providing that type of advice or service to help guide them to be successful in whatever the business is that they’re doing.  So, what are some of the common problems that you see veterans facing when they’re looking to start a business or jump into a new career after getting out of the military?

Mark DeLuzio:    07:21    Well, those are two maybe separate questions. When you talk about a career or you’re talking about running a business, everybody wants to aspire to be on their own, maybe not everybody. I would say a lot of people want to be an entrepreneur and run their own thing. You know, one of the things I found, Scott, was that a lot of people that came back, tried to integrate back into corporate America, for example. A couple of my clients in the B.R.A.V.E. are in that space right now. And it’s interesting because what I’ve learned about the military from afar is that the military is a lot more structured, a lot more black and white, a lot more accountable. It is very clear what your duties are and all that. And then you come into corporate America and I deal at the CEO level, of multi-billion dollar companies all the time.

Mark DeLuzio:    08:07    And they really think they’ve got a real tight-knit ship. And they really think that their lines of communication and responsibilities and accountability are so tight and buttoned up.  In reality, it’s not like that in most companies. And so, somebody from the military coming out of a combat zone in particular goes into that environment and there’s a lot of gray areas. There’s a lot of gray areas and it’s not as crystal clear to them as it was perceived by the people that are running the company. So, that’s a big problem that I see with military people coming out and moving into, let’s say, corporate America, for example.  So, that’s one problem that I see. So, what happens with a lot of my clients, and I’m working with about 15 or 20 right now.

Mark DeLuzio:    08:54   They say, “you know, I want to start my own business. Right?” But where I help them…I do all the paper. I can help them with filing tax ID numbers and getting a 501c3 set up and setting up an LLC or whatever form of corporation you want. But that’s not really where I add the value. Anybody could do that. Where I add the value is more on the strategic side. I ask really tough strategic questions to a budding entrepreneur. The first thing I ask them is, why do you want to do this? Okay. And I listen to that. I had one guy telling me that I want to be able to spend more time with my family.

Mark DeLuzio:    09:34    And I pushed back and I said, “wrong answer.”  Because if you’re an entrepreneur and you know that well, Scott, you’re one yourself. It’s not a part-time job.  You do have some flexibility with your schedule but it’s a 24/7 endeavor when you have your own business. I hate to say it but people look at me weird when I go on vacations; I take my computer with me. Well, you know, my clients don’t stop living because I’m on a cruise for two weeks. So, it’s a 24/7 endeavor that you’ve got to keep in touch and all that. So, that was the wrong answer. So, I provide that kind of counseling to them. I talk about other things.  I ask them, “do you want to create wealth or do you want to make a living?”

Mark DeLuzio:    10:14    So let’s just take somebody who’s an electrician. They’re an electrician, maybe in the service. Do you want to come in and just be a really good electrician and go out and do all kinds of electrical work? What I call grinding. Or do you want to build a business of electricians and run a business? Because the more you do that and build this business, the less electrical work, which is maybe your passion, you’re going to get into more management of people. And that’s a totally different skillset than being an electrician. I kind of equate it this way as I explain it and I say, “you’re a really good chef and you know how to make a really good meal and all kinds of different dishes, your top-notch chef. And now you say, “well I want to go open a restaurant.”

Mark DeLuzio:    11:00    Well, what do you, as a chef, know about running a restaurant? Okay, it’s a totally different endeavor. So, it’s great that you’ve got the skillset to be able to make meals or you are a really good electrician but what do you know about running an electrical business  or even about running a restaurant. So, I get into that kind of thing with them and I don’t try to dissuade them from doing it. I want them to understand that it’s a different game when you say you want to run a business and get into your own show. Then there’s a whole set of other strategic questions that I ask. What is your competitive advantage? Why as an electrician, would I want to come to you? How do you differentiate yourself? Who’s your market? How are you going to start off? Where are you going to get your first customers?

Mark DeLuzio:    11:39    I help them with that. What’s your social media presence is going to be, your website and all those different marketing and competitive analysis questions that you have to ask yourself. So those are kind of things I’ll ask them. One of the big ones, quite frankly, is when they come back and say, oh, I want to partner with somebody and I walk them through the merits of having a partner or the disadvantages of having a partner. Most partnerships don’t make sense.  I won’t go through that here today but most partnerships are done for the wrong reasons. You know, for example they say to me that, “I have a guy, my really good friend [and I want to partner with him].  I said to him, “well, that’s good. In a year he won’t be your friend anymore if he is your partner.” You really have to have a situation where one plus one equals three or greater when you have a partner.

Mark DeLuzio:    12:30    Typically partnerships are one plus one equals 0.5, because all you do is, you’re hiring another set of hands to do some of the work that you could probably hire outside on a contract basis or an employee W2 basis. And now you’ve got a partner that you get to share the profits with. And so one plus one in this case equals 0.5. So, there’s all kinds of dynamics that you have to think about when you go through a partnership. So, that’s the kind of advice I give to these guys and gals. I will go through and I will write strategic plans with them and really understand their business and get them on the right track, get them focused. I will do financial plans. I will even go to a bank to try to get a loan for these guys if I have to. So, we’ll present our business plan to the bank and do that. That’s the kind of stuff. But the big struggle, going back to your original question, the big struggle I see is that not everybody really understands what going into a business means and I clarify that and really brings a reality to them.

Scott DeLuzio:    13:29    I definitely have seen that my myself with the difference between the military and the corporate world or at any business really.  The difference in the structure of the military versus the lack of structure in the corporate world or the business world as a veteran might see it. Because in the military there’s always someone there saying, okay, this is the job. This is what you need to do. Here are your orders. Go do this. If you have something that needs to be done, some paperwork or whatever, there’s a form for it. The military has thousands and thousands of different forms for everything. And so, if there’s something that you need to fill out for paperwork, it’s there and you know exactly what form you need to fill out. Whereas in the corporate world, I found it to be a little bit less structured or maybe not less structured but maybe structured in a different way where people expect that you just know what you’re supposed to be doing as opposed to waiting for someone to give you orders.

Scott DeLuzio:    14:40    Now I know in the military a lot of people have the initiative and they go out and they see a problem they go in and try to do that themselves. A lot of times people will sit on it and not necessarily jumped into action on certain things until they get the orders to go ahead and do something. So, it is interesting to see that that’s a common problem that you’re seeing amongst other veterans when they’re looking to start a business or being corporate America. How there is some sort of

Scott DeLuzio:    15:15    a disconnect between civilian and military.

Mark DeLuzio:    15:19    I also see, quite frankly, the quality of leadership, I think, in my opinion, there’s a stark difference between the leadership you see in the military and leadership you’ve seen in corporate America.  So, a lot of the people in corporate America who have the big titles automatically assume they know how to lead people. That’s so far from the truth. It’s amazing. I’ve seen so many poor leaders in corporate America today and I think the root cause of all of this lack of structure and all that because I agree with you. When Steven died and our crisis assistance officer, Joe Burke basically said every time I asked him for something, he said, “there’s a form”, very standardized. I think that corporate America can learn from the military. I’m not saying that the military doesn’t have a lot of waste in it but they can learn from the military in terms of how they structure and standardize. We have a saying in what I do in my, my field. The more standardized you are, the more flexible you are. And that’s kind of counterintuitive, but it really is true. And so, we’ve learned that from the Japanese where I studied.

Scott DeLuzio:    16:29    This next question is another two-part question. The first part is, “what advice would you give to someone who may still have a few months left in their service, who is nearing the end of their career in the military and they’re starting to think about what those next steps are going to be for them when they get out of the military. They’re looking to start a business after they get out. What would your advice be to someone who’s in that position in terms of how to hit the ground running when they get out of the military? What types of things should they be looking to do before they even get out?

Mark DeLuzio:    17:13    Well, I think the first question you have to ask yourself is really evaluate whether or not going into a business is the right thing to do. Because for some people it’s not; it’s not in their DNA. Some people need a security blanket. They need a constant paycheck and a steady stream of income coming in. And so you really have to evaluate yourself first in terms of whether or not you’ve got the DNA to weather the storms. You know, as you know, Scott is an entrepreneur. There are ups and downs, especially in revenue, right? I mean there’s seasonal things, there’s all kinds of different types of competition. There are all kinds of things.  There’s the economy. So, it’s not easy to be an entrepreneur that is number one. So, you really have to evaluate yourself as well as you can.

Mark DeLuzio:    17:55    Well, I would say to a veteran that’s got let’s say five, six months left and knows that he or she’s going to retire that they don’t wait. They start now getting advice. If you don’t know how to go about this, start reaching out.  There are a lot of organizations out there. But you know, that’s why I’m doing this. And we suggest you talk to somebody like me at the B.R.A.V.E. to start the ball rolling instead of conversations.  I think the earlier you start and prepare yourself with planning, it is everything, it really is. And so, as soon as you can get the ball rolling and start thinking about what this is going to look like. If you go to my website, I have a survey on there that they have to fill out.

Mark DeLuzio:    18:41    It’s a list of 15 or 18 questions. And that gives me the basic understanding of what the business is all about and I can then start the conversation with them to be able to start the tough questions. I ask a lot of tough questions and they’re not easy to answer but it makes people really think. The worst thing I could say is if you don’t have the DNA to be in business but you want to be in business, you’re probably going to fail. There’s a lot of failure rates in business. So, I want to make sure it’s structured the right way. If it really is more of a career type of thing, then I have some very good advisors, you being one of them but I have very good advisors on my website for the B.R.A.V.E.

Mark DeLuzio:    19:24    One of them is a very established human resources executive named Bob Piazza who I worked with as senior HR (Human Resource) position at the company I came from called Danaher. He has a 10-step process. So, somebody comes to him for career advice. The fifth step in that process is to write the resume. There’s a lot of preamble to understanding what it is you want to do and what your DNA is and all that kind of stuff. So, it’s a 10-step process that we put our veterans through who are looking for career advice and directions as to where they should focus. So, I don’t know if I answered the question or not, but I would say just don’t sit back and just wait ‘til the day you get out to start thinking about this. And the sooner you can make some decisions about what the right direction to go in, then the better off you’re going to be.

Scott DeLuzio:    20:11    So, the second part of this question is similar to the first part but what about somebody who’s already been out for a period of time, they’ve already been out for maybe a couple of years and they’ve been bouncing back and forth between different jobs for a while and now they’re starting to think, well, maybe being an employee is not for me. Maybe I need to branch off on my own and start a business. So, what would your advice be to someone like that?

Mark DeLuzio:    20:44    Well, what you just described is a reality. I only started this about a year ago but some of my B.R.A.V.E. clients are exactly in that position right now. The first thing I would say is, “don’t quit your job too early.”  A lot of people get frustrated and they say, “Oh, I’m leaving.” I’m going to start a business with really no platform to work from. So, don’t let that current income stream stop while you’re thinking about it because there’s a lot of things you could do now while you’re still employed to get ready for this. I will help you with that. My organization will help you with that. So, first thing I would say, the first piece of advice is “don’t quit.”

Mark DeLuzio:    21:27    Just hang in there. Keep that paycheck coming in.  What you don’t want to do is get so distracted that you don’t have the time or resources to focus on actually starting a business because now you look into pay the bills and stuff like that. So, there’s a lot we could do while you’re working to prepare for this. It may take six months; it may take a year but there’s a lot we could do concurrently while you’re still employed to be able to get you set up for success. So that would be my main thing to think about here.  Don’t panic.

Scott DeLuzio:    22:00    That’s great advice to have because I can definitely see how someone gets frustrated with their job or maybe this is their second or third job after getting out of the military and they’re fed up with it because they don’t fit in or they don’t feel like they are really belonging in that job environment and they decide, “I’m just going to quit now and I’ll get started on this on Monday and I’ll have a business up and running by the end of the week.” And that’s not reality.  That’s not how that’s going to work. There’s a lot of legwork that needs to be done before you start a business to get the wheels in motion and everything. You mentioned that they don’t have a platform or the audience to even advertise their business to necessarily.

Scott DeLuzio:    22:53    And so building those connections and networking and things like that is probably part of it that they can do beforehand, Nights, weekends, things like that while they’re still working at their job and starting a business is hard for anybody to start. But it’s even harder when you’re worried about how to keep the lights on and put food on the table because now you have no money coming in. So, definitely I think that’s some great advice to give the people who are considering it, who are working at a job. And this is not unique to veterans who are looking into this. This is for anybody who is looking to start a business.  Keep your day job while you’re working on that until you start making a little bit of income on that side business that you test it out and see if it is even something that’s viable? Right? Because it may not be.  Like you said, “there’s a bunch of businesses that do fail over the first couple of years. If you’re doing this and you’re struggling to make any kind of income, at least you still have that job and you’re not shooting yourself in the foot by doing that.

Mark DeLuzio:    24:10    Well, the other thing too, Scott, just want to bring up, because you hit on that in one of your earlier podcasts is that a lot of people that come out of the military that I’ve been exposed to have the notion that they don’t really have any skills to be able to work in civilian life. It is so far from the truth and it’s really how do you think about what you’ve done in the military and how you repackage what you’ve done. One of the things I do is help veterans rewrite their original resume because there’s a lot of what I call TLAs, three letter acronyms, that the only the military understands. I help them sensitized their resume to the civilian life.

Mark DeLuzio:    24:55    A lot of people think about their experience as hard skills, like an artillery guy. So, there’s no call for that in corporate America or in business. Well, let’s still focus on the soft skills. Think about the leadership and the risk taking and the decisions and the problem solving and all of that stuff that you have to do. You’re not going to go to a corporation with your artillery skills to put together weapons to fire off at your competitor. That is not going to happen but there are so many soft things that people just take for granted or don’t even think about that we could package as the skillset of the individual. You know? So, that’s a real big thing I tell people, “the military does everything.” You can’t name one thing from the military that corporate America doesn’t do.  The military does marketing, they do recruiting, they do accounting, they do engineering, they do product development. They do all that stuff, right? So, you can’t name one thing, that happens in corporate America that doesn’t happen to the military, plus the military does some other stuff too that maybe would not be legal for us.

Scott DeLuzio:    26:12    I think I gave this example in an earlier episode of the podcast. It might be the same episode you’re talking about but something as simple and mundane as administering a urinalysis test, a drug test in the military. I’ve done it before. I’ve done that type of thing and it’s uncomfortable, but we joke about it when we’re in the military, because we’re basically standing there watching a guy pee into a cup and it’s kind of an uncomfortable thing to have to do. We make jokes about it and everything like that and we get through it and all that. But you can repackage something like that into more of an integrity type thing.

Scott DeLuzio:    27:07    If you have a soldier who you’re basically watching pee into a cup, but he’s pouring something else into the cup because he knows that his urine is going to be tainted. He’s not going to pass a drug test and you let him slide on that. Well that’s an integrity issue, right? And so you can kind of repackage that a little bit differently instead of just saying I watched a guy pee into a cup, you could say something like, I ensured that our unit was ready to meet its objectives and performance abilities by ensuring that the unit was drug free and things like that. So, it’s just a matter of how you work the things and how you think about them.

Mark DeLuzio:    27:51    I would say, on my resume, I oversaw the testing of scientific and medical, chemical data analysis and collection or something like that. Right? I mean that might be a bit of a stretch, but I’m just making a joke,

Scott DeLuzio:    28:15    but it sounds a little bit better than I was staring at some guy peeing into a cup.

Mark DeLuzio:    28:24    Why do they entrust you to do that? The integrity that you showed, that they say, hey, Scott DeLuzio, I want you to go and check him pee in a cup. You could have easily been dishonest or have them not trusting you and all that. So that’s what I’m talking about with the soft skills of that we don’t bring out in terms of the military and entrusted me with this. That guy’s going to fly an airplane down the line a $25 million jet and if he had drugs in the system now, they could have killed himself and a lot of other people.

Scott DeLuzio:    29:00    You’re saying like a $25 million jet but there’s even at the lower levels of the military, there’s all sorts of equipment that you’re entrusted with. There are all sorts of expensive equipment. There are all sorts of things that you end up having to be responsible for.

Mark DeLuzio:    29:20    And that could kill somebody.

Scott DeLuzio:    29:23    I mean, leave it in the, the wrong place and someone could pick it up and do bad things with it or it falls into the enemy hands or whatever. So, you’re basically entrusted with all of this sensitive equipment that could make or break a situation. So, that’s good. Really good advice. It looks like we’re actually coming up on time on this particular episode. If you have any other thoughts that you wanted to say about B.R.A.V.E.  or anything like that and tell us where people can find out more about B.R.A.V.E., how to get in touch with you.

Mark DeLuzio:    30:05    This is my whole effort to be able to give back. The guys like you, Steve, all the fellow patriots that have served and kept the bombs away from my door so I can go and get my latte at Starbucks. I don’t go to Starbucks and complain when I don’t get the right ingredients. You guys fought for that and you kept all that stuff away from me and there’s absolutely no way I can repay everybody who has done this. But this is just my way of giving back. I’ve made enough mistakes in my life in business that I actually call my clients in my consulting business and say “you should hire me because I made more mistakes than you have.” And so, my goal is to make sure our veterans don’t make the same mistakes I made and things like partnerships and business in general. And if I can help them out and give them the right guidance, then I’m doing my job. So, B.R.A.V.E.  has a website, that you created, Scott, it can be found at www.4thebrave.org.

Scott DeLuzio:    31:28    And I’ll link to that in the show notes on the podcast as well

Mark DeLuzio:    31:32    You can find me there. There’s a survey, you click on the survey, fill it out. If you want to get in touch with me, that will automatically send an email to me with your survey and that will get the ball rolling with a lot of basic information that I’m going to need to start to discussion as to how it can help you. So that’s where we are.

Scott DeLuzio:    31:48    All right. Great. Well thank you for your time and talking to us about the B.R.A.V.E.  and the things that you can do to help veterans start up their business or get some career advice.

Mark DeLuzio:  Great. Thank you.

Scott DeLuzio:    32:03    Thanks for listening to the Drive On Podcast. If you want to check out more episodes or learn more about the show, you can visit our website, DriveOnPodcast.com we’re on Facebook, Twitter, and Instagram at DriveOnPodcast.

]]> 00:32:27 <![CDATA[From Homeless Veteran to Successful Business Owner]]> Tue, 24 Sep 2019 01:00:17 +0000 Scott DeLuzio https://drive-on-podcast.castos.com/podcasts/2296/episodes/from-homeless-veteran-to-successful-business-owner Seth Shoultes is an Air Force Veteran who became a successful entrepreneur. His path to get to where he is today wasn’t an easy one. Seth struggled with homelessness after deciding to get away from the toxic situation he found himself in.

Through hard work and perseverance, Seth managed to not only get back on his feet, but also build a successful software business.

Links & Resources:

Transcript

Scott DeLuzio:    00:00   Hey everybody. This is the Drive On Podcast where we talk about issues affecting veterans after they get out of the military. I’m your host, Scott DeLuzio. And now let’s get on with the show.

Scott DeLuzio:    00:13    Hey everyone, thanks for tuning into the Drive On Podcast today. My guest is us shorts who is a PHP programmer and developer. He’s also one of the founders of a company called Event Espresso. Seth has been in web design and development since the early 2000s, but his journey to running a successful software business wasn’t always an easy road. Seth talked about his journey in a speech a few years ago at a conference in Las Vegas that I had the opportunity to attend.  Seth had served in the Arizona Air National Guard in the mid ‘90s and had hopes of working in the aerospace industry after getting out of the National Guard.  So, welcome to the show.  Why don’t you tell us a little bit about yourself and your background.

Seth Shoultes:   00:59    Hi Scott. Thanks for having me.  I graduated high school in the mid 90s and went directly right from high school into the Air National Guard where I wanted to learn nondestructive inspection and stuff like that. Basically it was looking at airplanes, airplane parts and inspecting them for defaults or defects and stuff like that.  I was always interested in airplanes and aeronautics and stuff like that since I was a small child. But growing up and in my community that I was surrounded with I’ve never really felt like I was pilot material. It was always a in school and that type of thing. Later in life or in high school, I started following around the wrong crowd, getting into [trouble], facing some problems with addiction and stuff like that.

Seth Shoultes:    02:08    So during high school, I always felt like I was behind in my grades and stuff like that and I never felt smart or anything like that.  I didn’t have the tools to succeed, I guess. So I went to the military as a way out of my current situation and into a career that was a lifelong career that would hopefully pan out some day and I’d be better off than I was. But once I got into the military, I really loved it.  The boot camp gave me a good foundation and a stronger community there.  Then when I got out and when I came back home from the guard after going to tech school, I started associating with some of the same people and I even found that some of the same people were with me in the guard.

Seth Shoultes:    03:12    And so I fell into all those old ways of addiction and struggling with just life in general.  After a couple of years I did my time in the guard and still faced these struggles. I went on t...

]]> full 17 false Seth Shoultes is an Air Force Veteran who became a successful entrepreneur. His path to get to where he is today wasn’t an easy one. Seth struggled with homelessness after deciding to get away from the toxic situation he found himself in.

Through hard work and perseverance, Seth managed to not only get back on his feet, but also build a successful software business.

Links & Resources:

Transcript

Scott DeLuzio:    00:00   Hey everybody. This is the Drive On Podcast where we talk about issues affecting veterans after they get out of the military. I’m your host, Scott DeLuzio. And now let’s get on with the show.

Scott DeLuzio:    00:13    Hey everyone, thanks for tuning into the Drive On Podcast today. My guest is us shorts who is a PHP programmer and developer. He’s also one of the founders of a company called Event Espresso. Seth has been in web design and development since the early 2000s, but his journey to running a successful software business wasn’t always an easy road. Seth talked about his journey in a speech a few years ago at a conference in Las Vegas that I had the opportunity to attend.  Seth had served in the Arizona Air National Guard in the mid ‘90s and had hopes of working in the aerospace industry after getting out of the National Guard.  So, welcome to the show.  Why don’t you tell us a little bit about yourself and your background.

Seth Shoultes:   00:59    Hi Scott. Thanks for having me.  I graduated high school in the mid 90s and went directly right from high school into the Air National Guard where I wanted to learn nondestructive inspection and stuff like that. Basically it was looking at airplanes, airplane parts and inspecting them for defaults or defects and stuff like that.  I was always interested in airplanes and aeronautics and stuff like that since I was a small child. But growing up and in my community that I was surrounded with I’ve never really felt like I was pilot material. It was always a in school and that type of thing. Later in life or in high school, I started following around the wrong crowd, getting into [trouble], facing some problems with addiction and stuff like that.

Seth Shoultes:    02:08    So during high school, I always felt like I was behind in my grades and stuff like that and I never felt smart or anything like that.  I didn’t have the tools to succeed, I guess. So I went to the military as a way out of my current situation and into a career that was a lifelong career that would hopefully pan out some day and I’d be better off than I was. But once I got into the military, I really loved it.  The boot camp gave me a good foundation and a stronger community there.  Then when I got out and when I came back home from the guard after going to tech school, I started associating with some of the same people and I even found that some of the same people were with me in the guard.

Seth Shoultes:    03:12    And so I fell into all those old ways of addiction and struggling with just life in general.  After a couple of years I did my time in the guard and still faced these struggles. I went on to deliver pizzas for a couple of years and then things started crashing down.  I didn’t have a vehicle at the time because my car broke down.  It came to a point where I just had to get out of there. You know, I had to really leave the people that I was around and I surrounded myself with, including my parents, my friends, everybody. I just totally picked up one day and left. I basically had no idea, no plans, what I was going to do.

Seth Shoultes:    04:12    I knew some people that I’ve met in the National Guard. I knew people in Wyoming.  I had this plan to hitchhike to Wyoming and find my friends and maybe see if I can get back into things up there.  I never made it to Wyoming. I ended up getting stuck in Salt Lake City, Utah, just trying to make my way in life. I ended up sleeping behind the Catholic church for a few months and because I was homeless and just working my way through life trying different job after job and then found a new community. I made friends, met my wife, and then I started looking seriously at things and what I’m going to do with my life and trying to change around, get away from the addictions and trying to get a new client and find new communities and new friends.

Seth Shoultes:    05:27    And one of the ways I found a new community was by getting into programming and that type of thing. Because at the time programming and/or web development was still new even though it was early 2000s or something, a lot of things were changing and technology was growing and so the stuff changed a lot since then. I found that there was a lot of other people out there in these chat rooms and programming forums and we’re all struggling with questions and a lot of it was questions about programming. But then you start getting deeper into questions about business and questions about life and stuff like that. People are just saying, “what’s going on?” I just got this job and I’m over my head. I don’t know all these programming languages, etc. And people would just jump in and answer their questions and help them out. I thought that was amazing, you know? And so that’s what got me away from all that other stuff.

Scott DeLuzio:    06:44    It’s interesting how you said how, how you felt like you needed to just pack up and get away from all of that.  A study that I was reading about a few months ago was talking about soldiers in Vietnam and there was lots of drug use over in Vietnam and some of the drugs that people were doing over there, the “experts” at the time were saying, well, some of these drugs, once when you start using them, you’re going to be addicted to them and there’s no getting off of them.  They almost had no hope for these guys coming back after they got out and back from Vietnam. But it turns out that when they got back to their hometowns and their communities with their normal routines that they were going through, the vast majority of them, I think it was over like 80%.

Scott DeLuzio:    07:39    I forget the exact numbers.  They all went back to their normal ways, they stopped using the drugs and everything like that.  Some of the people, the small percentage of people who continued to use it, they went back to a place where drug use was higher, where it was more readily available and it was easier for them to just continue doing that.  It’s interesting how a change of scenery sometimes, or a change of a location and people that you’re associating with can contribute to how you form your own habits. It’s interesting to see how that worked out in your case.  You saw that similar result from a change of location.

Scott DeLuzio:    08:35     Obviously, like you said, it was a hard move, having to pack up and move away from family and friends  and then dealing with homelessness and things like that.  That’s obviously not easy for anybody to do.  Then, you said, eventually you started to discover the programming and things like that.  I’m curious to hear how you went from that stage of being homeless and then deciding something needs to change and how you eventually got into programming from where you were at?

Seth Shoultes:    09:17    So I guess, let me backtrack a little bit.  I had created a bond with the drugs or the alcohol or whatever. When people are lonely where they don’t have a strong community, they build bonds with different things like bad people or drugs and stuff like that. So, leaving my family and leaving all my friends behind was part of breaking that bond that I had with all of that. So by basically separating myself, it allowed me to refresh and restart a whole new life and a whole new outlook on who I was basically.

Seth Shoultes:    10:14    So when I left I got somewhere and I was homeless and I just met other homeless people and I started working.  I tried to hang out with other homeless people that were actually motivated and looking for work and trying to stay away from others. (I had a pretty good idea of what people look like that were on drugs)  Finding a different community and finding different people to talk to and to associate with was how I got away from that bond of the drugs and alcohol.

Seth Shoultes:    11:03    And so once I started meeting people, it was easier to start forming relationships with people that were not using drugs.  So, when you can reset yourself or refresh yourself, you start to find it’s easier to make new friends and to start fitting in different places. So, I focused on that and tried to make new friends, meeting new people and then eventually I met my wife and hung out with her and she started giving me motivation. And then eventually I  wanted to go back to school after a while I started feeling I had my motivation starting to building up.

Seth Shoultes:    11:57    I had really low self esteem. I had really low motivation when I left my home town. I lost stuff when I came to a new place. I was encouraged by putting myself at the very bottom, I was encouraged to find work and to survive basically, it’s like a survival instinct you want to go find other people.  Eventually just cleaning myself up, keeping myself with like-minded people. And then as far as the programming stuff, I went back to school to learn electronics at ITT Technical Institute.  I got on there and I started forming new bonds and making new friends and then I started learning. They taught us a little bit about web design but everything they were teaching us was from five years ago.

Seth Shoultes:    13:04    It was like, we’re always five years behind. So, I started teaching myself how to do love design. And like I said previously going into forums and searching Google on how to program. And eventually, I traded all those bonds or traded all those thoughts of seeking drugs for seeking the answers. I started wanting to find answers about my life, about programming, about habits and trying to figure out why I had addiction and what was going on and why I had depression and why I felt all these different ways. Once I’d heard of getting into all that stuff, it just opened a whole new world for me. It wasn’t even, I don’t even think, I wanted to hear about the program but a lot of it was just finding communities that were active and that were available to people like me that had a lot of questions and have the word basically lost.

Scott DeLuzio:    14:21    S,o you’re not the first person that I’ve talked to and the show is still relatively new.  You’re definitely not the first person that I’ve talked to who said something similar along those lines in terms of finding a community or being together with people not trying to go it alone and trying to just figure things out on your own.  As a business owner, I’m sure you can relate that to your own business too. If you were the CEO and the accountant and the janitor and the marketing and everything else like that for any one person that’s just too much.  If you’re anything like me, you’re not great at all of those things.

Scott DeLuzio:    15:07    And so, you’re going to just have a mediocre business if that’s all that you’re going to do. And so instead you go and find people who are great at certain things and you build the business that way.  Life is really, I don’t think, much different.  I don’t attempt to cut my own hair because I’m not trained on how to cut my hair and I would probably look like a clown if I did it. So, I go to somebody who knows how to do it, and I come out and look all right.  It’s the same thing with other things in your background.  You want to be around other people who can help you move forward and go in the direction that you’re looking for as opposed to keeping you where you’re at or even taking a step backwards from where you want to be.

Scott DeLuzio:    15:58    I think it’s awesome that you had that similar experience that you discovered that you need to be around those people that are going to help get you to that.  Wherever your goals happen to be they get you to that next level.  Obviously, you had some struggles and you came around at some point to discover that this community and seeking the answers was the turning point for you, that the tipping point.  Maybe it was when you met your wife or whatever it was the “Aha” moment or that turning point where you decided things have to change and this is what it’s going to?

Seth Shoultes:    16:52    I was at a point where I just felt like I was in this hole that I couldn’t climb out of.  Most of my thoughts were about either finding my next fix or next party or whatever.  The other half of the thoughts were about suicide, basically.  Just trying to find a way out, you know what I mean? And so, the turning point was when I got away from the situation and I left my parents’ house and my grandparents’ house, wherever I was living at the time, I left that.

Seth Shoultes:    17:44    I don’t know what it was or why. It was something that I felt I had to do. You know what I mean? It’s either life or death, basically. You know what I mean? Do you go down a path that you’re going to die or do you continue to go down that path, it’s bad, it’s going to destroy you. Or do you start figuring out a way to climb yourself out or build up yourself so you can get out of that.  I just figured I needed a change. So, the turning point was basically life or death.  I was with one of my parents, my estrange dad, and I was living with him at one point in time right before all this happened.

Seth Shoultes:    18:37    And he was a heroin addict. He tried choking me one time when I wouldn’t take him to go get his heroin fix. That time I was done with drugs, basically. I was done doing that stuff but I had nowhere to live. He tried to choke me and I was like, “screw this, I’m outta here.”  I never saw him again. Well, I saw him once and then he died a short time later.  The turning point was like just getting out of that situation, it was his facing down that life or death situation and then I’d all built up it didn’t happen overnight. It took several years of a few slip ups or whatever. I’d go back and then I wake up the next day and I’d think, “what did I do?”  You know what I mean?

Scott DeLuzio:    19:33    Yes. It sounds like it really would be hard for all of this to transition overnight, anyways.  You’re not going to just wake up the next morning in a different town and all of a sudden have a job in a house, in a career and a family and everything like that. It’s one of those things that it sounds like it almost has to be a slower process to take one step at a time. There’s a book I read a few months back called Atomic Habits and it’s about tiny changes, leading to big results. And so taking each step cumulatively will lead you to a better direction. It’s hard to just take that one giant leap right now. You’re not going to climb a flight of stairs in one step. You’re going to have to take each individual step one at a time until you get to the top.

Seth Shoultes:    20:32    It takes a lot of practice. It’s just like learning to walk; you have to learn to crawl before you learn to walk. You know what I mean?

Scott DeLuzio:    20:44    And it sounds like what you did in terms of your business.  You started off by going to the ITT Technical Institute and you started learning a little bit of the website development and things like that back then.  You took it upon yourself to learn more about that stuff.  That hard work eventually led to you creating a business.  I briefly mentioned the name of your business earlier but why don’t you tell people a little bit about your business and how that business started and what you do now.

Seth Shoultes:    21:22    My side of the business I run now is called the Event Espresso, like the coffee drink.  It’s an event ticketing and a registration platform basically for people that want to sell tickets to concerts or you want to sell reservations to summer camps or even scrapbooking classes and that type of thing and we help with our software.  You install it on your website and it allows you to sell tickets and accept reservations on your website and to set payments. I started the business because my wife was a scrapbooking demonstrator and she would hold classes and basically supply materials for people to come and create birthday cards and scrapbooking pages for their photo albums, that type of thing.

Seth Shoultes:    22:27   She needed a way for people to register and pay online.  Everywhere I looked, there were the online solutions but they were quite expensive and they each took a cut of your ticket sales. And so we wanted to bypass that since my wife was starting out in the new. So, I started looking around the Internet for an open source software like a piece of code that I could use without having to pay a lot of money for it. And I found a plugin for WordPress, which allows you to build websites. I found this little plug in that did what she wanted but then it was missing a lot of features. So, I took it apart and I learned how it worked and then reprogrammed it, added a bunch of new features and then released it under a new name.

Seth Shoultes:    23:41    The person that had developed the first part of the software wasn’t maintaining it anymore and it fell to the wayside. So, I took it over, reprogrammed a lot of stuff, renamed it, and launched it as a new software. And that’s where I’m at today. I basically maintain it and run a business around it. And we have about 10 programmers hat actually maintain and market and sell the products, sell the software to users.

Scott DeLuzio:    24:14    That’s an awesome story. You had a need or your wife had a need and you  set out to try to solve that problem and then you fell into a business around it, which is  neat.  So, some of my products are similar to that where I was scratching my own itch, trying to solve a problem and then it turned out that I have a product that someone is actually willing to pay money for. And so, let’s try to build a business around this thing.  It’s awesome to see that you can find that motivation and to get to that business process where you’re at.

Scott DeLuzio:    25:03     Through the hard work of dissecting the code of the original software that you found and then adding new features and building up like that.  Though obviously it’s not an easy thing to do all of that stuff and then marketing and selling; it is hard work, too.  It is like what you were saying, just life in general. It wasn’t an easy process getting from that rock-bottom stage to where you’re at or even that turnaround phase building a business isn’t necessarily easy either. If you stick with it, it gets easy. I don’t want to say easier, it’s easier, it’s easy.  It’s not the fear of, I don’t know if this is even a thing that’s going to…that anyone will ever buy. You’ve been in business for a few years now and you probably have some comfort level of knowing that your product is solid and people will pay for it. It’s a long road but you can get there eventually where the business is growing and maintaining and everything like that.

Seth Shoultes:    26:31    It almost feels like hell. It almost felt like it just happened overnight. You know what I mean? Here we are 10 years later and it’s just like a blink of an eye.  It’s probably the best thing that could’ve ever happened to me. In a lot of ways.

Scott DeLuzio:    26:47    I guess in that respect you sort of just needed to be open to the opportunities that were presenting themselves to units, for example, like your wife having this need to have this software to book tickets for the classes that she was doing, the demonstrations or whatever she was doing. If you just poked around and found a couple solutions that were out there, but they’re too expensive and then just threw your hands up in the air and said, “well, that’s all I can find.”  You and I probably wouldn’t be talking right now and this conversation could’ve gone a different way and you might’ve been working in a different job and a whole bunch of other what things could that have happened.

Scott DeLuzio:    27:32     By taking advantage of that opportunity that presented itself and digging in and putting in the hard work to get to where you’re at now.  Even though initially all you’re trying to do is just solve one person’s problem, your wife’s problem that she was having, that turned into a whole business where, quite frankly, you’re solving thousands and thousands of people’s problems by having that same solution.  All these people, whether it’s a charity event where they’re selling tickets to a banquet dinner or to a concert or to a cooking class or any number of things. There are people out there who are trying to sell tickets to it and you have the solution for them, in an affordable way that isn’t going to cost so much money per ticket or whatever. It’s awesome that that all came to fruition that way. And you also entered a business plan competition early on in the business, mind telling them a little bit about that.

Seth Shoultes:    28:47    So early on in the business, I had had built the software and I was running it by myself around two years. I had a little bit of help here and there from a few programmers that I had hired on a contract basis.  Where I worked at the time while I was building the software, I worked at a marketing agency or non-marketing. I worked in a marketing department for it was coding and billing academy up in Salt Lake. I worked alongside this guy named Garth Coil. I brought him on about two years into this process. It was actually about a year; well, for the whole time I’d been talking to him and he was going to school at,

Seth Shoultes:    29:50    I think it was university. Oh, it was University of Utah. So, Garth was going to university, Utah.  During the time I was building this, he was in business; he was getting his MBA, Master’s of Business Administration and he had wanted to go into healthcare administration.  The whole two years I was building this thing, we were working side by side and I had talked to him and I knew he was really good with business stuff. I had been talking to him and said “why don’t you come on board, I’ll bring you on as a cofounder and that type of thing.” He wasn’t really interested at first. Then he went out, he went away to Michigan towards a hospital out there, I think it was Ford hospital or something.

Seth Shoultes:    30:46    He ended up about six months later, saying “I’m thinking, I want to take you up on your offer.” I said, “okay, let’s do it. I’ll bring you on board.” And then about a month later, he was telling me about this program at the University of Utah, since he was still in the University of Utah even though he had graduated. But he was telling me about this program and it was a Utah entrepreneur challenge and it was a chance to win $40,000 for your business ideas. I though, all right, let’s do it and let’s go ahead and submit an application. We sent an application and we got into it and we had to write a three-page business plan, give a presentation to a panel of judges and all this stuff.

Seth Shoultes:    31:38    We went through all this stuff.  It was hell. It was crazy. We had to dissect every single little part of our business and how we’re going to make money and where we’re going to be in 10 years and how much profit we think we’re going to make in the first year and all this stuff. And so, we get into this thing and we were thinking we had no chance. We don’t have a chance at all at winning this thing. So, we go through all this and then we end up in the top 10.  We end up in the top 10, one of the top 10 challenges I guess, or the top 10.  Whatever they had going.

Seth Shoultes:    32:22    And so, five finalist, that’s another word I was looking for. So, we had enough as one of the top 10 finalists. And so we got invited to a banquet put their universities, CDU timers were standing there, we had a booth and all this stuff. And so, had our marketing materials that I made up and we have a little mobile app that we’re getting ready to release. And so, he had all this stuff and it was just off our software, just like off the wall, it was event ticketing and all these other people were doing medical stuff like medical devices and trying to prevent world hunger and all this stuff. So we’re sitting there; there was me and my friend, Garth, my co-founder, Garth and his wife, my wife was pregnant at home and we were thinking, “Oh, that’s no big deal.”

Seth Shoultes:    33:14    We’re probably likely to win. Where’s this going to go and show up. So we were sitting there and we’re stuffing our faces with food and next thing you know, they’re just naming off all the people and then they get to the last three and we had no idea what was going on and all of a sudden they announced, they said, “now for the grand prize winners the Event Espresso and they announced our name and we both looked at each other and I’m thinking, “what did they just say, your name?” So, we looked around and this whole big room is like staring at us, all these people. And we were like, “what?” So, come up on stage so we can go up there. They had this huge check for us. They ripped this blanket off of this huge cardboard check and it was $40,000 to Event Espresso. And we’re just staring at each other. And I had no words to say. I was dumbfounded. But my co-founder, Garth, said thanks and all this stuff and I was just fighting back tears.

Scott DeLuzio:    34:18    I had no idea. That’s amazing.

Seth Shoultes:  I got up to the stage and I was like, “Oh, thank you.  Thanks.” Everybody asked the white way. But it was pretty crazy. We spent so much time going over this and reading the business plan and giving presentation and trying to make sure our marketing materials were together and it was just like it all happened. In a blink an eye, you know? Right. And I guess this all goes back again to just putting in the work, the hard work and dedication to doing that. Because if you did a half-ass job on your presentation for all of this, there’s no chance that you would’ve won.  You know, with other companies putting in the work to get through that.

Scott DeLuzio:    35:08    And so you did, I’m imagining there were probably late nights and lots of blood, sweat and tears going into it.  You did it and at the end of the day you won and it’s not like they were just giving out checks to everybody who applied. So, obviously you did something that was special and unique to get to that point. So, it looks like we’re coming up on time here with all of this but I wanted to give you a chance with a closing question.  Is there anything that you wish someone would’ve told you before you joined the military and advice or future or like?

Seth Shoultes:    36:03    I wish I would’ve looked at other options in the military besides going into the end of the career I found because I felt like I never felt like I really had what it takes, what it would have taken to become a pilot or something like that. I always wanted to be pilot. So, I wished somebody would’ve encouraged me to follow my dreams and encourage me.  I wish I would’ve had more motivation,

Seth Shoultes:    36:36     to follow what I wanted to do, basically.

Scott DeLuzio:  Setting your goals and actually reaching for those. I mean, that’s awesome advice to have because so many people are just content with whatever they’re going through or wherever they’re at. And they don’t stretch for the something bigger or better. It seems like you’ve done a lot of stretching, over the years and getting working your way up.  It’s like climbing a staircase or a ladder or something like that. You have to take it one at a time and you certainly have done that. So, thank you for sharing that story and offering that advice. I’m sure that the story, I know for me it was very inspirational and  motivational to listen to the first time I heard it. And even more so this time around.  So, thank you for sharing.

Seth Shoultes:  Thank you, Scott. Thanks for having me.

Scott DeLuzio:  Absolutely. Take care. All right, you too.

Scott DeLuzio:    37:45    Thanks for listening to the Drive On Podcast. If you want to check out more episodes or learn more about the show, you can visit our website, DriveOnPodcast.com we’re on Facebook, Twitter, and Instagram, and Drive On Podcasts.

]]> 00:38:09 <![CDATA[Reflections of a Gold Star Mother]]> Tue, 17 Sep 2019 01:00:17 +0000 Scott DeLuzio https://drive-on-podcast.castos.com/podcasts/2296/episodes/reflections-of-a-gold-star-mother In this episode my mother, Diane DeLuzio, shares what it is like to be a Gold Star Mother after losing her son (my brother) in Afghanistan.

We talk about the coping mechanisms she used and how that turned into an outlet to help others.

Links and Resources

Transcript

Scott DeLuzio:    00:00    Hey everybody, this is the Drive On Podcast where we talk about issues affecting veterans after they get out of the military. I’m your host, Scott DeLuzio. And now let’s get on with the show.

Scott DeLuzio:    00:15    Hey everyone, thanks for tuning into the Drive On Podcast. Today I have Diane DeLuzio who is not only my mother but also a Gold Star Mother. We’re going to talk about some of the things that she found to be helpful and also not so helpful throughout her grieving process after losing her son and my brother. So, I’ll let you introduce yourself and maybe talk a little bit about becoming a Gold Star mother and how that whole process kind of took place.

Diane DeLuzio:    00:41    Hi.  Thanks for having me.  When both you and Steven were deployed to Afghanistan in 2010, I worried because I’m a worrier.  Even when there’s nothing to worry about, I still worry. But what I worried about was that you were going to be deployed and you were going to miss the first year of your son’s life and maybe bonding with him would be difficult.  With Steven, I worried about things like, I saw a picture of him smoking and I thought maybe he was going to become a smoker and wouldn’t be able to quit. Those are the kinds of things that I worried about. I don’t think I let my mind worry about tragedy, where somebody lost a limb or worse-case scenario, didn’t come home alive. I didn’t worry about those things. But that’s what happened on August 22, 2010. We got a knock on the door and two uniformed soldiers were standing at our front door and the first reaction was, which one?

Diane DeLuzio:    01:45    Because we knew why they were there. We just didn’t know whether it was you or Steven. And it was very difficult those first hours and days and weeks, especially the first hours and days because you weren’t home either.  As a mom, I was also worried about you and thinking you were there alone. But I also came to learn that you weren’t alone and neither was Steve when he died because the army or military service in general [takes care of their own.] I’ve come to know from the army’s perspective that they take care of you. They helped you to get home as quickly as you could. They provided an opportunity for you to escort Steve from Afghanistan and I know that there were people who loved and cared for Steven who were with him when he died.

Diane DeLuzio:    02:37    And as a mom, I didn’t come to realize that until almost a year later. But it really was a healing thing for me to know that Steven didn’t die alone.  It is at that point that I really learned what a Gold Star Mother was. Prior to that, I was a Blue Star Mother times two and I had a Blue Star flag hanging in my front door. Blue Star just means you have service members of your family in active duty or in the service. And that was you and Steve. But after Steven died, I joined a club that no one wants to join, it’s the Gold Star Mothers. And that’s just someone who has lost a son or daughter in service to our country.

Scott DeLuzio:    03:26    So, after all that happened, obviously Steve came home and we had all sorts of different services and things like that that were presented to us and made available to us through the milita...

]]> full 16 false In this episode my mother, Diane DeLuzio, shares what it is like to be a Gold Star Mother after losing her son (my brother) in Afghanistan.

We talk about the coping mechanisms she used and how that turned into an outlet to help others.

Links and Resources

Transcript

Scott DeLuzio:    00:00    Hey everybody, this is the Drive On Podcast where we talk about issues affecting veterans after they get out of the military. I’m your host, Scott DeLuzio. And now let’s get on with the show.

Scott DeLuzio:    00:15    Hey everyone, thanks for tuning into the Drive On Podcast. Today I have Diane DeLuzio who is not only my mother but also a Gold Star Mother. We’re going to talk about some of the things that she found to be helpful and also not so helpful throughout her grieving process after losing her son and my brother. So, I’ll let you introduce yourself and maybe talk a little bit about becoming a Gold Star mother and how that whole process kind of took place.

Diane DeLuzio:    00:41    Hi.  Thanks for having me.  When both you and Steven were deployed to Afghanistan in 2010, I worried because I’m a worrier.  Even when there’s nothing to worry about, I still worry. But what I worried about was that you were going to be deployed and you were going to miss the first year of your son’s life and maybe bonding with him would be difficult.  With Steven, I worried about things like, I saw a picture of him smoking and I thought maybe he was going to become a smoker and wouldn’t be able to quit. Those are the kinds of things that I worried about. I don’t think I let my mind worry about tragedy, where somebody lost a limb or worse-case scenario, didn’t come home alive. I didn’t worry about those things. But that’s what happened on August 22, 2010. We got a knock on the door and two uniformed soldiers were standing at our front door and the first reaction was, which one?

Diane DeLuzio:    01:45    Because we knew why they were there. We just didn’t know whether it was you or Steven. And it was very difficult those first hours and days and weeks, especially the first hours and days because you weren’t home either.  As a mom, I was also worried about you and thinking you were there alone. But I also came to learn that you weren’t alone and neither was Steve when he died because the army or military service in general [takes care of their own.] I’ve come to know from the army’s perspective that they take care of you. They helped you to get home as quickly as you could. They provided an opportunity for you to escort Steve from Afghanistan and I know that there were people who loved and cared for Steven who were with him when he died.

Diane DeLuzio:    02:37    And as a mom, I didn’t come to realize that until almost a year later. But it really was a healing thing for me to know that Steven didn’t die alone.  It is at that point that I really learned what a Gold Star Mother was. Prior to that, I was a Blue Star Mother times two and I had a Blue Star flag hanging in my front door. Blue Star just means you have service members of your family in active duty or in the service. And that was you and Steve. But after Steven died, I joined a club that no one wants to join, it’s the Gold Star Mothers. And that’s just someone who has lost a son or daughter in service to our country.

Scott DeLuzio:    03:26    So, after all that happened, obviously Steve came home and we had all sorts of different services and things like that that were presented to us and made available to us through the military.  What were some of the things that you got involved with that you used to help with the grieving process that you were going through?  Some were probably more helpful than others but what were some of those things that you tried to do to get through dealing with the loss of your son.

Diane DeLuzio:    04:11   At the very beginning, I really wanted to be alone.

Diane DeLuzio:    04:16    I wanted to cry privately. I wanted to pray privately. I wanted to be private.  I know that doesn’t work for everyone. I did want to speak Steven’s name as often as I could but I wanted to do it more on a private basis. I would say that over time, the army and the support staff that we had with our crisis assistance officers, they were there for that first year in whatever we needed them to do. I can’t thank them enough for that. They were wonderful. But really after that year, I started to think, now what? I don’t want to sit around and just be sad all the time. I want to be able to speak Steven’s name and talk about him and not make people feel uncomfortable because some people are uncomfortable, but I wanted to be able to do some good with that.

Diane DeLuzio:    05:11    And actually the original Gold Star Mother, I think her name is Grace Siebold, she was one who actually would go to veterans’ hospitals and talk to veterans who were recovering from injuries or whatever. She used that before her son was killed. But even after her son was killed, she continued to do good for the veteran community and that helped her feel better. And so, when I actually researched her and her story a little bit, I decided I wanted to do the same thing but I really wasn’t sure what I wanted to do. I wasn’t sure what I could do but it was just by luck that someone got in touch with me, Sue Martucci actually, who was the chairman at the time of the Connecticut Trees of Honor Memorial and it was in its infancy stages.

Diane DeLuzio:    06:04    Sue had a vision to create a memorial in Connecticut to honor the fallen heroes from the Afghanistan and Iraq wars, the recent wars. And she contacted me and asked me if I would be interested in being the Gold Star liaison to the committee. That was it, just to run ideas by me to see whether or not anything would be possibly offensive or hurtful or insensitive to Gold Star families. And I agreed to do it and we clicked off very well. At the first couple of meetings I went to, we had a connection and over time and over the years I started taking on more and more responsibilities in the Trees of Honor Memorial board. I found it very healing for me. I got to meet some wonderful Gold Star families, mothers and fathers, siblings, wives, husbands. Through our conversations and our willingness to work together to build this memorial, I think we were all starting our healing process.

Diane DeLuzio:    07:09     You mentioned some things that might not have been so helpful.  There were other organizations by the way, Fisher House and others that I also participated with where I found it very healing. I met veterans, I met injured soldiers and I helped to raise money for building and constructing the Fisher House in Connecticut. That was very rewarding and very helpful for me in my healing process. But what I didn’t want to do and occasionally found myself in a position of being sad.  Of course, I’m always going to be sad that Steven was lost.  I don’t know what he would be today. I don’t know if he would have children or all of that. I miss that. And I’m sad for that. But I wanted my life and my efforts to go in a positive, uplifting way to help others. And so, when I was around people who might be stuck in the sad, I found that sometimes that brought me down a little. So, one on one with those people. I was great, but in a group setting that was hard for me and that wasn’t helpful for me. So, I decided to do the things that made me feel better and I always felt better when I was helping someone else. And so, those are the kinds of things that I did.

Scott DeLuzio:    08:34    I think a lot of the people that I’ve talked to so far for this podcast, even outside of this podcast, who are dealing with grief or emotional type issues, whether it’s PTSD or the loss of a family member or whatever the case may be, it seems like a lot of these people have one thing in common that doing something and being productive and not just busy work productive is what helps them move on from whatever the pain is that they’re going through. And not to say that it’s going to erase the pain entirely but it is a way for them to help other people going through either a similar situation or just to feel like they’re being helpful and being useful.

Scott DeLuzio:    09:33    I want to say going back to being in the military, you volunteer, everybody who’s in the military right now, is a volunteer. You don’t have a draft anymore. Like Vietnam era folks had the draft.  Everyone is a volunteer and I think that the people who do raise their hand and volunteer generally want to be helpful. They want to help their community. The National Guard is community focused where you’re serving on the State level or they want to help their country where there might be a conflict overseas and they want to go and serve and protect their country and everything.  It seems like for you there’s a similar kind of correlation there where you took a tragic issue that you were going through and you wanted to turn that negative into something positive. Whether it was through the Connecticut Trees of Honor Memorial or the Fisher House or other organizations that you’ve worked with, it seems like you were trying to

Scott DeLuzio:    10:44    not just sit there and wallow in your own misery. You wanted to get out and actually help someone and be productive. And that seemed to be the thing that helped you out more than out of isolation. Like you said in the beginning, you felt like you just wanted to be alone and not be in the spotlight or whatever. So,

Scott DeLuzio:    11:16    through various organizations that you mentioned that you have connected with other Gold Star families and veterans and things like that. And how has that helped you in terms of

Scott DeLuzio:    11:28    either your grieving process or for your own benefit to move on from that sense of isolation where you’re just hunkered down and not wanting to get out? How has it helped you to get out with other Gold Star families or veterans or other organizations, other family members, things like that?

Diane DeLuzio:    11:51    Well, a big part of my healing

Diane DeLuzio:    11:54    was to meet and greet and hug some of Steven’s friends, some of his battle buddies.  I saw there, especially the first meeting, the pain in their eyes and as I started saying before, that’s when I realized that it wasn’t just a death in our family. Steven’s life had touched a lot of people and a lot of people in a positive way. And so, meeting, greeting, talking to them, getting to know them, even becoming friends with some of them that we may not have otherwise have had the opportunity to meet, I realized hearing their stories about Steve, and we told our stories to them about Steve on the family side, even from the business where Steven used to work were stories on his business side and sharing all of those stories, filled me with pride.

Diane DeLuzio:    12:53    I guess that Steven was a lot to a lot of people. He meant a lot to a lot of people. I never served; I was never in the military. I never raised my hand, as you did. It’s actually, I believe less than 1% of the population that does. And sometimes I felt uncomfortable when I was called a hero or was thanked for my sacrifice because honestly, I didn’t raise my hand. I didn’t choose this sacrifice.  At this point, it was what it was and we weren’t going to get Steven back. I wanted to make his life remembered. I’ll never forget. I wanted to make sure that I could speak his name so that other people would never forget either. But I also wanted to make sure that the good that he was doing lived on and so I wanted to do whatever I could do for the veterans or for the community in general, I tried to volunteer and I did. I volunteered as much as I could in order to try to make the world a better place.

Scott DeLuzio:    14:13    So, it seems like when I first got home, there were and this is very similar to what Chris Weir said on a previous episode, after losing his brother, there were news vans on our street outside of our house when I first got home.  I literally hadn’t even gotten out of the car from the airport.  There were already news vans lined up on the street and everything. Whether it’s television or radio or newspapers, they had reporters from all over who were there. And I remember my initial gut reaction was like, screw these people. I don’t want to talk to these people.  That was one of those things that I think was ingrained in me from when I was overseas because on some occasions, some of the reporters who had gone over there and there had been cases where they took a story and blew things out of proportion and maybe didn’t report all of the situation.

Scott DeLuzio:    15:19    But it made for a great story. And so that’s how they reported it. And so, we always just felt like if there was a reporter around, we’re not going to say anything. We’re not going to do anything we are going to ignore them and everything like that. And so, when we first pulled into the driveway and I saw those news vans,  my gut reaction is just screw these people. I don’t want to talk to these people because I don’t know what they’re going to say and I don’t know how they’re going to twist this story.  I think I remember back to this time we were all sitting there in the car and trying to decide what are we going to do? Is anyone going to talk to them? Are we going to just go inside and ignore them?

Scott DeLuzio:    15:59    What is it that we’re going to do? And I remember that at one point we decided that someone needs to tell Steve’s story.  He died and then we’re just going to not let anyone know about him or his story. How wrong is that? And so that goes into what you were talking about to other veterans and always wanting to speak about him, about Steven and tell other people about him so that while yes, he has died, his memory can continue to live on.  It can continue to affect other people.  We set up the Memorial Fund in his name and it provides scholarships to kids and will continue to provide scholarships to kids for many years from now and so while yes, he’s passed away, but he continues to touch other people and affect other people’s lives going forward throughout the years.

Scott DeLuzio:    17:00      You’ve done other events where you spoke like Memorial Day type events where you spoke and you got up and did all those types of things.  Were those similar to what you were talking about in terms of wanting to get his name out there like that and those were more for Steven more than they were for you to get his name out there then they were for your own personal healing or whatever is that accurate?

Diane DeLuzio:   17:34    That’s correct. Just to kind of piggyback on your comment with the day we brought you home from the airport,  the other part of the conversation I that I recall is that one of the casualty assistance officers who said that, “this is a story and the story is going to be told, the only question is whether you want to add to the story. So, you want to give your

Diane DeLuzio:    18:03    side of the story or do you just want to let them tell the story.”  He did say that there’ll be somebody who was in third grade with Steve who they will get to give an interview and that person will give us a soundbite. Do we want that or do we want to give our story? So, while I certainly wasn’t able to talk at that point, we decided as a family that we would all go up there. And I think between you and dad, you guys were able to speak and that was the start of getting to say Steven’s name and talking about him from people who really knew him.  You asked me another part of the question and I forgot what you asked.

Scott DeLuzio:    18:45    No, that was good. That was what I was getting at.  It was more for Steve and getting Steven’s name out there than it was for your own healing. You know, in the beginning it was still a shock. So, it’s understandable that maybe you’re not able to necessarily get out there and speak to the reporters but it was important for us as a family to tell his side of the story from our perspective, the people who generally knew him the best versus some kid from third grade who sat next to him and knew that he liked to play baseball.  That’s not important and kind of fluff stuff.  Yes, that’s true but we had more depth to make the story just that much better. Get down to the core in the message of who he was out there into the newspapers and on TV news reports and everything like that. That was to me the most important part.

Diane DeLuzio:    20:02    But the other part that you asked me about was the Memorial Day speeches and those kinds of things that I continue to do since then. I don’t think of those as necessarily healing except in the way that it makes me feel good that I’m able to

Diane DeLuzio:    20:21    speak to veterans, speak at Memorial Day ceremonies, speak at a scholarship ceremony to a scholarship recipient that we’ve just given a scholarship to and talk to them about Steve. I don’t know if you remember, but early on during the first year after Steve died, I put together a little book because I wanted every scholarship recipient that we gave money to not just know that he got the Steven J DeLuzio scholarship, but also know who Steven J. DeLuzio really was. So, there’s pictures of Steven playing Little League and golfing at St. Andrew’s [in Scotland] and playing hockey for Glastonbury High School and all that kind of stuff. So, I put those things in the book so that they would know that he wasn’t just this SGT Steven DeLuzio but he was a man who had a brother and a mother and a father and fiancé, etc. So, while they’re not so much healing for me, but they do actually make me feel good that I’m able to continue to talk about him as Steven or Fifi as we fondly called him.

Scott DeLuzio:    21:19    The nickname he gave himself as a kid. Yeah.

Scott DeLuzio:    21:28    Along the same lines of telling the same story about Steven and getting his message out there and everything, recently we as a family, as a Gold Star family, we had the honor, the privilege of meeting the president, President Trump and his wife at the White House in Washington. I think we decided as a family that this was something that not only was it an honor to meet the president and to be invited to the White House but we were presented with an opportunity to

Scott DeLuzio:    22:13    represent Steven and have his name be included in a ceremony at the White House, which to me, it doesn’t really get any bigger of a stage than that.  At the same time, the White House kept the event quiet. It wasn’t held with a whole lot of publicity either.  The press is famous for [criticizing] his Twitter usage. It wasn’t tweeted out 18 million times or anything like that. It was, in my opinion, very respectful and very well done. What were your thoughts about accepting this invitation? First off and what were your thoughts about going to the White House in general?

Diane DeLuzio:    23:08    Well, I don’t think there was any question in my mind that when we received the invitation that we were absolutely going to go. It was an honor and a privilege to go and I still sometimes pinch myself and think about how we were shaking the president’s hand and Mrs. Trump’s as well. It was just an honor.  Of course, the little part of me that feels a little guilty because I knew why we were there. It wasn’t because of something that I did that got me there. It was something that Steven did.  I felt a little guilty and I think a little part of the day, I felt nervous because again, I felt as though I was

Diane DeLuzio:    23:46    getting put in this, situation as a hero. I thought they treated us like we were royalty really. And so, I felt like I wasn’t deserving of that, that it was really Steven’s sacrifice. And even yours too, from the standpoint of having served our country where all I did was to raise two patriotic boys. So, I guess maybe that’s the end of what I did for it. But again, it was never a question that we would have gone because it was something that I felt was absolutely necessary to do. Also, the honor for Steven, he was recognized by the President of the United States in a ceremony, his name was read, etc. And it was just something that,

Diane DeLuzio:    24:34    I’ll never forget.

Scott DeLuzio:    24:35    Oh, no, absolutely. I don’t think I’ll ever forget that either. It was such an incredible opportunity to go and do that and a great honor to have the president invite us to the White House for that event.

Scott DeLuzio:    24:56    Going back to what you were saying about how you felt almost guilty about being invited to the White House because what did I really do?  I feel like it’s sort of that

Scott DeLuzio:    25:15    terrible price you have to pay to join that club and it’s

Scott DeLuzio:    25:21    the least that they can do is to treat you with the respect that you deserve for having paid that price. No, you didn’t push him into the Army. You didn’t tell him to go and you didn’t, as a matter of fact, probably didn’t want him to join.  You did more of the opposite with the worrying and everything like that. Not to say that you discouraged anyone from joining the military but the fact that from that day forward, you lost your son and now he’s not here anymore the way he would have been had the country not asked for his service.  The least they can do.  I feel that this is what their mindset was by having this type of event.

Scott DeLuzio:    26:11     As far as I know, they’ve done this every year since President Trump has taken office.

Diane DeLuzio:  That is my understanding too.  This was the third year.

Scott DeLuzio:  Do you have any other words of wisdom or advice or whatever for people who are in your situation?  In terms of people who are now having their sons or daughters who are just joining the military and they’re going out to basic training and they have that same kind of worry that you had or even Gold Star parents.  There are people who probably are still dealing with the emotional struggles and everything like that and maybe they haven’t necessarily figured out what they need to do to get through. I hate saying, move on with your life, because that’s not what you do. You can’t just move on. That’s a big part of your life that’s missing. But to be able to live a happy life and do that type of thing.

Diane DeLuzio:    27:20    Well, it’s really two things. One starts actually even before you hear of a tragedy like this.  What I did personally with both your unit and Steven’s unit is that I became active in the support groups back home. So, I made friends with members in the Connecticut National Guard and the Vermont National Guard units.  Because Steven had actually been on his second deployment, I had been part of a phone tree where they would call me and check on me the first time Steven was deployed to Iraq in 2006.  When you guys were deployed in 2010, I became that lead person for the Vermont Group. And I would call every week or I would call every other week.  Friday, I would make phone calls to different families and just check in and see if they’d heard from their son as all the people in my unit happened to be men that were deployed.

Diane DeLuzio:    28:12    So I would call and ask about their son. Had they heard from him and there were a couple of cases where they hadn’t received letters or phone calls or whatever for a while. So, we looked into it to see if it was just because they didn’t have a phone or whatever. We just stayed in contact to let them know that they weren’t there alone.  With yours, because this was your first deployment with the Connecticut National Guard, your wife and I would go to the meetings and there were pasta suppers where people got together and shared news or whatever. It was just a community thing. You got to know other people. So, there was some camaraderie there.  The other thing that helped me and this was actually during deployment and post-deployment that I’ll preface it with just a real quick story.

Diane DeLuzio:    29:00    When Steven was at Norwich University in Vermont, which is a military academy, he had limited access to a phone, so he couldn’t call home very often. On one of his phone calls, he said that he had just come back from mass at church and he said that he went to mass as often as he could when he was there. And he said to me that while I am a Catholic and I went to church pretty regularly, there were some days that because of schedules or whatever, I just didn’t and I missed mass. Steven actually said to me, he said that, “I think you should start going again.” He told me that. He said, “because I really think the church and your faith will come in handy someday.” And so, right now I’m actually getting chills on my arms because he was 100% correct.

Diane DeLuzio:    29:55     At the time we were living in Connecticut, our faith family became Father George and Sister Mary and they became friends of ours. They were from St. Dunstan’s Parish in Glastonbury, Connecticut. They became friends of ours while you guys were deployed. They were very, very helpful to me in being able to comprehend and process all that was happening.  Knowing that you were so far away, they were there to greet us and to hug us. Almost immediately when we got the news and we continue to this day, almost nine years later, to still be friends with them and they enhanced my faith in the faith community.  It was very important to me and I understand it may not be for everyone. It depends on your own beliefs. But for me, that was a very big part of my healing and the veteran community, family and my faith and the faith community were very, very instrumental in my process of grieving and healing.

Scott DeLuzio:    31:08    That’s good. I didn’t know some of that stuff actually about Steve telling you that and everything. That’s interesting because I know when he was deployed, they were on a small remote base and they didn’t really have religious services or anything like that some people might have on a bigger base or whatever. I know from various stories from other people, that he had done some things to try to help with some sort of religious service, whether it was officially having a chaplain there or anything like that or if it was just talking to other people or whatever.

Scott DeLuzio:    31:49     I don’t know the details of everything, but I know he was involved with that a little bit too. So, that’s awesome. Thank you for sharing your story and your side of everything that happened and your grieving process and those activities and the other things that you’ve done that were meaningful, helpful, and productive for you.  Thanks for sharing all of that and we look forward to maybe hearing a little bit more about this type of stuff in the future as well.

Diane DeLuzio:  Thank you.

Scott DeLuzio:    32:29    Thanks for listening to the Drive On Podcast. If you want to check out more episodes or learn more about the show, you can visit our website, driveonpodcast.com. We’re on Facebook, Twitter, and Instagram at drive on podcast.

]]> 00:32:53 <![CDATA[Managing Your Iceberg]]> Tue, 10 Sep 2019 01:00:41 +0000 Scott DeLuzio https://drive-on-podcast.castos.com/podcasts/2296/episodes/managing-your-iceberg In this episode I talk to Cory Miller, a friend of mine and tech entrepreneur. Cory seemingly had everything going for him and he explains mental health with the analogy of an iceberg.

Cory is not a veteran, but his story has inspired others to seek help for their own mental health issues. I encourage you to listen to his message and take it to heart.

Links and Resources

Transcript

Scott DeLuzio:    00:00    Hey everybody, this is the Drive On Podcast where we talk about issues affecting veterans after they get out of the military. I’m your host, Scott DeLuzio and now let’s get on with the show.

Scott DeLuzio:  00:14    Hey everyone, thanks for tuning in to the Drive On Podcast today. We have a friend of mine from the tech world, Cory Miller. Cory and I met a few years ago at a tech conference. Now, Cory is unlike many of the other guests on this podcast, as he’s not a veteran. He does come from a military family. He does have veterans in his family but he can talk about a little bit about that later. That’s not really the reason why I’m having Cory on the show today. Instead, he was the CEO of a successful company and who was well-respected and looked up to. As a matter of fact, I think some people may even say that he’s a type of entrepreneur that they want to be. I know I would say that for myself anyways. And why not? He ran a successful company with a great team of employees. Financially, he was very successful. On the surface, it seemed like he had pretty much everything going right for him. Who wouldn’t want to be like him, right? But that wasn’t the full story. I’m going to let Cory introduce himself and then we’ll get into a little bit about his story. So, without any further delay, Cory, welcome to the show.

Cory Miller:  01:24    Hey, thanks Scott. That was a great intro. It’s nice knowing you. What has it been three, four or five years? I’m trying to think back when we first met.

Scott DeLuzio:  01:34    I think it was about three years now.  At least.

Cory Miller:  01:38    Thank you for the intro. I started a company in 2008 called I Themes. Ran it for 10 years, actually 11 but at the 10-year mark I sold it to another company. We were required and spent the next year transitioning the team to the company that bought us. Then just earlier this year, in January, 2018 or, I’m sorry, 2019, when we’re talking, I left the team and that company to start again. So, my newest venture is, Leader.Team, where I’m helping support leaders across various organizations and it’s been a fun restart, reboot to business.

Scott DeLuzio:  02:24    Great.  So, the reason that I wanted to have Cory on the show is because I wanted people to know that it’s not always rainbows and unicorns.  It may appear to be on the surface. It’s not always a picture-perfect life.  Even though it may seem like it is for other people.  Cory was a great example of how on the surface it seemed like he had everything going right for him. But underneath that surface, as you peel back the layers, it really started to become apparent that the things were not quite going all that well for him. And so, Cory, you had talked a while back at a couple of different conferences.  You were a speaker about the concept of the iceberg.  Can you go into that a little...

]]> full 15 false In this episode I talk to Cory Miller, a friend of mine and tech entrepreneur. Cory seemingly had everything going for him and he explains mental health with the analogy of an iceberg.

Cory is not a veteran, but his story has inspired others to seek help for their own mental health issues. I encourage you to listen to his message and take it to heart.

Links and Resources

Transcript

Scott DeLuzio:    00:00    Hey everybody, this is the Drive On Podcast where we talk about issues affecting veterans after they get out of the military. I’m your host, Scott DeLuzio and now let’s get on with the show.

Scott DeLuzio:  00:14    Hey everyone, thanks for tuning in to the Drive On Podcast today. We have a friend of mine from the tech world, Cory Miller. Cory and I met a few years ago at a tech conference. Now, Cory is unlike many of the other guests on this podcast, as he’s not a veteran. He does come from a military family. He does have veterans in his family but he can talk about a little bit about that later. That’s not really the reason why I’m having Cory on the show today. Instead, he was the CEO of a successful company and who was well-respected and looked up to. As a matter of fact, I think some people may even say that he’s a type of entrepreneur that they want to be. I know I would say that for myself anyways. And why not? He ran a successful company with a great team of employees. Financially, he was very successful. On the surface, it seemed like he had pretty much everything going right for him. Who wouldn’t want to be like him, right? But that wasn’t the full story. I’m going to let Cory introduce himself and then we’ll get into a little bit about his story. So, without any further delay, Cory, welcome to the show.

Cory Miller:  01:24    Hey, thanks Scott. That was a great intro. It’s nice knowing you. What has it been three, four or five years? I’m trying to think back when we first met.

Scott DeLuzio:  01:34    I think it was about three years now.  At least.

Cory Miller:  01:38    Thank you for the intro. I started a company in 2008 called I Themes. Ran it for 10 years, actually 11 but at the 10-year mark I sold it to another company. We were required and spent the next year transitioning the team to the company that bought us. Then just earlier this year, in January, 2018 or, I’m sorry, 2019, when we’re talking, I left the team and that company to start again. So, my newest venture is, Leader.Team, where I’m helping support leaders across various organizations and it’s been a fun restart, reboot to business.

Scott DeLuzio:  02:24    Great.  So, the reason that I wanted to have Cory on the show is because I wanted people to know that it’s not always rainbows and unicorns.  It may appear to be on the surface. It’s not always a picture-perfect life.  Even though it may seem like it is for other people.  Cory was a great example of how on the surface it seemed like he had everything going right for him. But underneath that surface, as you peel back the layers, it really started to become apparent that the things were not quite going all that well for him. And so, Cory, you had talked a while back at a couple of different conferences.  You were a speaker about the concept of the iceberg.  Can you go into that a little bit and tell us about that concept and maybe get into your story a little bit?

Cory Miller:  03:19    So the story I share publicly is meant to help people know that they’re not alone. That just like you explained in the introduction, on the surface it looked like I had everything in the world but still I was hurting underneath the surface. And so, the snippet of my mental health journey, I should say, is from 2010-2011. So, on the surface, all these things were going on. It was just a really good time. You could see if you didn’t know me intimately well at that moment. So, the concept of the iceberg is, you’re looking at an iceberg and mostly all you see is everything that’s on top of the surface. And I call that, if you watch the Lego movie, everything is awesome. It’s the curated press release version of our life.

Cory Miller:  04:10    And that’s what most people see. But on the surface are all the things from fear, anxiety deep down as you go further down the iceberg, underwater is depression.  Severe problems that from time to time we deal with. And so, my iceberg back in 2010, the one I share publicly to say you’re not alone is on the surface I had punched my ticket by taking a lifelong dream, which was to co-author a commercially published book from the For Dummies brand, one of my favorite series of books. We had hit $1 million in revenue at the company that I had started in two, three short years. We went on and we’re doing some cool things like we went on a RV road trip with our team from Oklahoma City to Boulder, Colorado for a conference.

Cory Miller:  05:05    Things were just clicking on the public version of what you saw in my life, but under the surface, I had midway through that year filed for divorce from my wife of seven years.  I had a couple of times slept in our office because I didn’t have any other place to go.  When I walked into a counselor’s office that year after all of these events happened, he basically said you’re suffering from depression, went through a battery of questions and it was a big wake-up call.  The first time in my life a professionally trained counselor had shared that I was suffering with, at the time, low grade depression. And it was real sobering moment for me because I thought I was the superhero.

Cory Miller:  06:00    I could get through anything. it was a big wake-up call and I share that story because just like you had mentioned Scott, I seemingly had everything going and yet was hurting very badly on the inside.  So much so too that I had insulated myself that my own parents didn’t know some of the heartbreak I was going through. They were, of course, the first people I called when my marriage was ending and just things were sort of bottoming out in my personal life. Also, she had mentioned too that even though we have this cool new office and we went on this RV road trip that it was the first time in my business tenure at this company that I started in my home and grew that I didn’t want to be there at all.

Cory Miller:  06:49    We had a couple of people that I had allowed to basically make me miserable at work. Professionally and personally my life was really crumbling. And so that’s the story I shared because although everything looked like I had it together, I wrote this post a couple of years ago that said “everybody hurts, including me and it’s okay to ask for help.” I had to go through all of those events to realize I can’t do it alone. I don’t want to do it alone. And as I started to share the story publicly for that one reason, that you’re not alone, there was this resonating reverb of people contacting me, too, Privately, I’d get emails, text messages, Facebook messages, all those kinds of things. I talked to friends years later and they told me they heard my story and they sought a counselor after that or made specific positive moves in their life to better their mental health.

Cory Miller:  07:47   I shared that story because there are so many people who need help and are hurting right now in the world, and often we’re suffering in solitude. I share that because I want to release people, free people to seek and receive help that they need, that they don’t have to walk alone. In fact, Scott this morning somebody tweeted at me and actually said, “what would be the one piece of advice you’d give or that makes the most difference in your own mental health?” And I said, “don’t go it alone.”  I’ve had to learn those lessons again, Scott, I keep trying to pull this back and try to do everything by myself and realize I just can’t do it alone.  I need support.

Scott DeLuzio:  08:29    Going back a little bit here, if you think about it what you’re talking about going it alone and everything, a lot of times, especially, guys who are in the military, have that macho attitude. Like, “I don’t need that.” “I don’t need to go talk to somebody about my feelings and all this other stuff.” They feel like they can just handle it on their own. They’ve handled so many other things on their own. If you think about all these other things that you might do in your life that you do rely on other people, I think I said to another guest that I had on the show a while back, I don’t cut my own hair because if I did, I’d end up looking like a clown.

Scott DeLuzio:  09:14    I rely on the hairdresser or the barber or whoever you go to cut it and make it look acceptable. Anyways, I might look like a clown anyways that’s more my problem than their problem.  Even if you’re moving out of your house and you’re going to another house, you’re not going to throw the couch on your back or your dining room table. You’re not going to throw that on your own back. You’re going to call up some friends or something and you’re going to ask them to come and help you move that stuff out. Because if you were to look at your house and all that stuff that you have, it would just be such a daunting task to have to move all that stuff on your own.

Scott DeLuzio:    09:58    Once when you have that one extra person who’s there to help you move some of that stuff, even if it’s really heavy, at least there’s somebody else who’s there who can help you out with that. So, I think people need to understand that it’s okay to ask for help.  You can’t do everything all on your own. And a lot of times with this mental health stuff, you might need to have somebody else in with an outside perspective to help guide you through, and to help you see, a better way of doing things.  This brings me to the other reason that I wanted you to be on the show because at some point during this whole journey, between the divorce and the depression and all this other stuff, you came to the conclusion that something wasn’t right and that you realized you needed to get off your butt and go talk to somebody about all this stuff.

Scott DeLuzio:  10:54     At the same time, on the surface, you’re the guy who seemed to be on top of the world. So, there must’ve been a little bit of fear or doubt about whether or not you should even talk to someone.  How might that affect other people in our tech community?  How they might view you in your company or how would your employees view you, or your own family, even.  So, there might’ve been a little bit of hesitation or doubt there.  So, can you tell us a little bit about that and how you eventually, overcame that and decided, I need to go get that help?

Cory Miller:  11:30    Scott, for me, back in 2010, 2011 I was realizing that when I feel like I’m face down in the gravel and being drug, I honestly had gotten to the very end of myself and I just couldn’t do it by myself.  As funny as it might sound, the first people I called when my personal life was cratering just going straight down into the abyss was my parents. I just wanted to hear my dad, my mom say, we love you, son. We’re here for you.  After they got over their initial shock that was one of the first things they said, they ran into my life when other people were rushing out of my life.  It was past fear and anxiety and all that. I was at the absolute lowest point in my life at that point in my life, and I needed help.

Cory Miller:  12:29    I couldn’t hide behind fear or any other reason I might propose, my ego or whatever, it was that I needed help.  I remember at least a week or two after I filed for divorce, my mom came and just did laundry for me and cooked. And it was just tough for me to pick up my fork and eat but that was the low point of my life too.  I just needed people. Through that, now I’ve obviously healed from those experiences.  Maybe the scars are still there. What I realized from that, the great lesson of my life was I can’t do it alone. Now I’m telling you, it’s a lesson to have to wake up every day and learn again. Because, I just somehow think I can do everything by myself.

Cory Miller:  13:18    I call it Superhero Syndrome.   I just think I’ve got a cape and the superpower and I can get through anything by myself. And then time and time again, life tells me not so fast.  Cory, you’re just merely mortal.  So, it’s something I continually or I wouldn’t say learned it all then and like forever. I had a friend ask me, hey, I know you share, it was a business acquaintance actually, he said, “hey, I know you share about mental health and stuff, is that all good now?” And I said, “no, brother, it’s everyday life throws so much, so many things at you every single day that no, it’s not a one and done thing.” It’s just like your physical health. You can’t neglect good nutrition and physical exercise and those types of things.

Cory Miller:  14:07    Your body will start to deteriorate faster. And I feel the same way about my mental health.  I want to talk about something that you mentioned and I think particularly with us guys, there’s this masculine culture of, don’t reach out, don’t share your feelings. You shared all that.  You talked about that, which guys are supposed to be stoic and not express their emotions; yet we’re born as humans with emotions and we put a cap on the bottle of those emotions and then there’s all kinds of terrible things that happen as a part of that. Mainly our health and then also our personal health and then our relationships with other people. I think that’s got to stop.   The fact that we can’t admit that we cry.

Cory Miller:  14:59    I’ve seen grown men though, the most macho man you can think of, that wouldn’t cry, maybe when a loved one passed away or something or their dog passed away. You’ve got these emotions that no matter what you’re a human being. You’re born with these things that you need to share those appropriately with those that you want to. We find ourselves, as men, being so secluded and not getting help and receiving help that we justly need and it affects everything in our lives. That’s part of my iceberg story. There was this picture on CNN, there was this iceberg affecting the small town in Greenland. It was basically when it was melting. It would send parts of the ice off the shelf of the iceberg and it would cause this a little mini tsunami that was potentially going to flood this town of a hundred people. That’s the way my life is when I don’t seek help for the things I’m going through.

Scott DeLuzio:    16:05    I like the illustration of the iceberg.  In addition to what you were just talking about in terms of having those mini tsunamis that might wipe out a little small village on the coast or whatever the graphic that you have and I’ll try to include this in the show notes too.  The graphic that you have of the iceberg is basically that everything is awesome above the surface and it’s your financial success, your business success, and all these other successes.  And I feel that a lot of times people, especially nowadays with social media, they are so prone to just putting out there all their successes that they’re putting out their A game when their life might be falling apart around them.

Scott DeLuzio: 16:57    That’s the below the surface stuff of the iceberg. If you really know anything about icebergs, what you see on the surface is just scratching the surface. So, it could be huge, giant, massive ice underneath the surface and it could be like in your case it was the divorce and the depression and all these other things that were down below the surface that you weren’t going out there and plastering all over social media. “Hey, look at me, I’m getting a divorce” or whatever and that’s typically not what people do.  I feel like a lot of times people who are getting onto social media and they’re seeing how great everyone else’s life is, they start to feel worse about themselves because they start comparing themselves to this picture perfect life that they’re seeing in their friends or celebrities or whatever or whoever they might be following.

Scott DeLuzio:  17:54     That’s not reality.  Everyone has crap going on with their lives that they’re trying to go through. And like you said, mental health is an ongoing thing that you’re constantly working on.  If you were to equate it to dieting or losing weight or exercise or whatever, if you were to just go on a binge diet and lose a bunch of weight and then just go back to your old eating habits, well that weight’s coming back and probably then some, so, the same thing with mental health. If you just let that go, it’s going to only get worse.  Even if things start to feel a little bit better, if you neglect it over time, it’ll start to get worse.

Cory Miller:  18:39    It’s funny that you mentioned social media because if you’d go to my Instagram today, right now, you’d think, “oh, Cory, he’s got all this stuff buttoned up. Oh, he’s got a beautiful family, which I do by the way, I’m so thankful for my family, a loving wife and things like that. But you get this distorted picture because that’s not the whole thing. That’s not the whole picture. That’s the stuff I choose to put out. One reason I do give the caveat that I say I’m sharing the story about my mental health in the past deeply in the past is because I’m not encouraging people to say below the iceberg share all that, on full blast that from the mountain top on social media, I’m not at all suggesting that.  We do have the inverse that most of the things we see on social media are just this curated version of what I want you to see in my life.

Cory Miller:  19:31    That’s still true for me, too.  Now though, I’ve gathered enough support elements to get help with the things privately, confidentially with the things going on in my life.  They just don’t happen to see.  I grew up as a cynical Gen Xer and still am and I guess I know the people that have the most perfect persona online or in public I always say, “Even the best relationships, even the best lives still have hurt, still have struggles, still have suffering going on somewhere under there. That’s just not chosen to be broadcast those.

Scott DeLuzio:  20:11    I totally agree with that.  I’m not necessarily saying, go air all your dirty laundry on social media or whatever just to make yourself feel better or whatever. Because I don’t think that’s going to be the solution to the problem. I think it’s important to understand that when you are on social media that it is, like you said, a curated version of somebody’s life that’s out there. They’re not going out there and putting all the negative stuff that is below the surface on that iceberg stuff onto social media. It’s important to recognize that for our own sanity and mental health that what you’re looking at is the polished A game, if you will. And it’s not picture perfect, necessarily.

Cory Miller:  21:00    It’s the frame for the portrait of a glimpse of life that doesn’t share the entire fullness of what’s going on in anyone’s life at any point. You’re right.

Scott DeLuzio:  21:10    Exactly. I think I’m going back to what you’re talking about in regards to having that support group or have that network of people that rushed into your life.  You said your parents were some of those people who rushed in when everybody else would seem to be rushing out.  It’s important to recognize those types of people in your life. Who are those people that when stuff hits the fan are going to be those people who run into your life to help you, to pull you back up when you fall down or whatever?  I think that’s an important thing and I think that’s through a lot of aspects of life too.  You and I both run businesses and I don’t know about you, but I don’t think I could really be all that successful if I was to be doing everything all on my own.

Scott DeLuzio:  22:12      Everything from the marketing and branding to tech support and product development and all these other things that go into running a business, accounting and other stuff like that. Doing all of that on your own, you might be okay at all of those things and maybe really good at one or two of those things but you’re not going to be great at everything and I think your business would end up reflecting that.  It’s just going to be an okay company. It’s not going to be a great company if you try to do all of those things yourself.  But if you surround yourself with great people who could do great things in those different areas, those are the types of people who will basically bring your company up and make it a great company.

Cory Miller:  22:57    Exactly.  I shared this recently that one of the hardest things in my entire life but It’s also given me the greatest joy it’s one that I still struggle within me to do this, but is to ask for help.  I’ve been married now, obviously remarried now and my wife, Lindsay and the times when I just said I’m struggling and I need some help.  Allowing people the joy of giving help to me it’s so easy for me. Scott, like I am driving on the road, see somebody that’s run out of gas or something and I’d never pick up hitchhikers with my kids in the car by the way, ever; however I have on occasion, picked up and said, “hey, where you going?”

Cory Miller:  23:46    And help them get to their destination. I feel so good when I’m able to do something as simple as holding a door for someone as they’re walking into the mall or some store.  I love giving generously of my life but it’s so tough to receive it, to think to receive it up until the point in my life when across the threshold and had been able to say, I need help. I need your help in my life, to whoever that is a counselor, my parents, whoever, friends.  And then be on the receiving end of giving and generosity. And a friend of mine said that, “if you’re not able to ask your best friends, the people that love you most for help, you’re robbing them of the joy of being there for you.

Cory Miller:  24:35    I think about the times that I’ve allowed help, for me to ask and then to receive help from others and support.  There’s a great joy. There’s a humanity in there that you’re seeing the fullness of it, not just the giving, but also being willing to say, I need it. I need to receive that kind of support is a great joy. And it’s a message that I want to share more and more, need to share more and more publicly because the times that I have lowered shields for my ego or whatever is when I said I need help. And then gotten it from people that love me, that people rush in when you need help.  It’s another side that’s pretty beautiful to sit down and humanity and fill that warmth and love and support.

Scott DeLuzio:  25:19   Absolutely. And I think that that’s such a great important topic to discuss. There are so many people who probably feel like, “oh, I don’t want to go ask so-and-so.   Whether it’s your spouse or your friend or even a counselor or whatever. I don’t want to go ask for help because now I’m a burden to this person. Now they have to worry about my problems or whatever.” And that couldn’t be further from the truth.  I think what you were talking about is that people actually feel good to see you, getting better and knowing that they played a part in that whether it’s a big part, small part, or whatever it may be.  People feel good, generally when they are able to help other people.  I think a lot of times, that macho, manly man mindset that people end up having, we don’t want to put that out onto anybody else.

Scott DeLuzio:  26:23    We want to carry the burden of our own problems.  We don’t realize that we’re robbing someone of that joy to be able to help us out with it and everything. It’s just such a great concept. And I know for myself personally, I sought some counseling after I got back from Afghanistan and just making the appointment, just picking up the phone, making the phone call to make the appointment that very first appointment was like a tremendous weight was lifted off my shoulders because like I was saying before, like with moving furniture out of a house, I’m not carrying all that weight anymore and somebody else is going to be there to help out. That person I’ve gotten to know over the years, that I spoke with and they enjoy helping other people and it’s like you said, it would be robbing people of that joy to be able to help them.

Cory Miller:  27:20    If you think about specifically the veterans, like yourself and others that hope and hear this and take steps to alter their mental health and to get support.  You are carrying so much on your shoulders in that moment when you’re able to take it, you’re being crushed under the weight of what you’re carrying internally that no one else may even know about. The moment you’re able to have that sense of relief. I’ve experienced it so many times in my life where I’m taking it on my shoulders, I’m trying to carry that furniture by myself. I’ll carry that heavy lift in the house. And frankly, there’s some things too that our friends and family aren’t trained to help with.  That’s the role of the counselor for me is there’s somebody who is professionally trained, licensed has taken a code of ethics or severe consequences that they fear for what they’re supposed to do.

Cory Miller:  28:16    And the last benefit is when I unload something to my counselor at Thanksgiving, I don’t have to say, could you pass the cranberries? There are some things that deep in the dark stuff that maybe my family isn’t the appropriate person, people to talk to about that. They can know that I’m hurting, that I’m suffering and struggling and help me in that regard. But some of the big, dark stuff that I need a professional when I sit across the room from my counselor, by the way, his name is Kyle. I share something deep and dark and never have to think about some business partners and team and things like that when sharing your mental health story or my mental health story.

Cory Miller:  29:01    For instance, when I talked to a counselor about the things underneath the surface, I don’t have to worry about those things.  then I’ve got a guide, an expert guide who has specifically been trained with years of training and experience to help navigate those things and to recommend options, to seek and get help.  To those options out there is so vital. And so that’s one nuance I will say on the end of the iceberg stuff is there’s still things that I might choose to say I’m hurting to my wife, but I might go to my counselor and say, this is something I’m actually working through. That’s pretty dark down into the iceberg.

Scott DeLuzio:  29:44    Right.  That’s one of those things with normal communication with your spouse where you don’t want to necessarily hide the fact that you’re hurting from them because that’s not going to help anybody.  But like you said, you don’t necessarily have to go into those deep dark details with them either because they may not know how to respond appropriately. Not that they wouldn’t respond from a place of love or whatever. They obviously would want to help you but they’re not the licensed, professionally trained counselor who would be able to give you better direction and better guidance, impartial guidance, in terms of what you’re supposed to do, where somebody else, even if your spouse is trained professionally, there may be that emotion there, where they tell you to do one thing and maybe it’s not the right thing, but it’s just that emotion that might push them in that direction to tell you that one piece of advice versus another.  So, definitely talking to someone professionally, I think is incredible advice to have there.

Cory Miller:  30:55    I’ve got the relationship with my counselor now where I’ve been with him for nine years now and that if I need to get in to see him, I can text him and pretty well within 24, 48 hours or so, have me in there and be able to talk with them. And that’s so key. I’ve referred people locally in Oklahoma to counselors and the biggest question is where do I start? How do I get a counselor? And I will say on the nuance of finding a counselor or a licensed professional counselor, that you might find somebody that you just don’t fit with. And that means find somebody else. Go find somebody else. Don’t just say, well, we just didn’t get along. Okay, well that could actually happen. I’ve seen it happen and know it can happen.

Cory Miller:  31:46     The great thing is you get to say, “I’m not going to see anymore. I’m going to go find somebody else and no harm, no foul.” And so, make sure there’s a right fit and I don’t know of all the resources available to veterans. I hope there is.  But there’s somebody you can talk to a chaplain and get a referral or some colleague that you might trust to get that kind of referral and then figure out, interview them, test them, make sure that it’s the proper fit. And they understand that particular issues that you might be struggling with. So, you at least get that help that you need and support that you need.

Scott DeLuzio:  32:28    I know for myself, I went to the Vet Center, which is basically a place for counseling for veterans for mental health issues and things like that.  It just so happened that the first guy that I spoke with, we hit it off and he was able to help me out with issues that I was having at the time and we really clicked. But like you said, it may not be that way with everybody. You may go and talk to somebody and they may not be the right person.  So, ask for somebody else if you’re at the Vet Center or find some other counselors, there’s plenty of organizations that are around that offer counseling services to veterans and even to non-veterans.

Scott DeLuzio:  33:21    And it doesn’t matter, necessarily, if they are a specialized in veterans, with veteran issues or not.  Find the person that counselor who’s going to work for you and talk to that person.  Like I mentioned earlier, I don’t cut my own hair because if I did, I would look ridiculous.  But if I went to go get my hair cut and the person didn’t cut my hair well and it just didn’t work out right, I wouldn’t say, “well, that’s it. I’m never getting a haircut again.”  I would find somebody else who can cut my hair better. So, to me, it’s a little bit silly to say, “well, this one person didn’t do a good job for me, doesn’t necessarily mean that no counselor out there ever will be able to do a good job with you and walk you through the issues that you’re having.  So, absolutely, 100% agree with what you just said there.

Scott DeLuzio:  Well, it looks like we are actually coming up on time here with this episode. Cory, was there anything else that you wanted to say to veterans who might be listening or family members who might be listening to this?  Also, if you want to, let us know where to find you.

Cory Miller:  34:39    I think first and foremost I hope, at least I did when we met in Phoenix years ago, Scott, but is to say to those who have served our country, men and women, thank you for your service. The second is if you’re hurting, there’s something going on under the surface, please take a first step, call a counselor, talk to her friend, but don’t keep it all bottled up, locked up inside. And, like I mentioned with the iceberg that was threatening the town in Greenland is so many times in my life I haven’t realized that by locking all those things inside myself, I was causing more harm to the people I love most. I know there’s somebody listening today that needs to take a next step or a first step. Please I implore you to do so. Scott, you’ve made this podcast available to help, to be dedicated, to help people with that message.

Cory Miller:  35:36    I hope many, many veterans that are listening and might be struggling with something, take that first step today. That would mean my biggest thing that you can forget my name, you can forget my story. If you take that first step toward healing, towards support that you rightly and justly deserve, specifically as a human being, but also as a veteran of our country and our military service, please do so today.  Those you love in our world would be better for it having a healthy you in this world. Then you can find me as always at Corymiller.com. That’s my main site. I hit the contact form. You can find my Twitter and all that kind of stuff through there. And as always, I love talking with people. I’m not a PR professional trained counselor, but I love sharing resources as I can and hearing stories is always of people that have found healing and support and care for their lives and it really inspires me.

Scott DeLuzio:  36:35    Well, Cory, thank you for joining us and telling your story.  I really appreciate you taking the time to share that with us.

Cory Miller:  Thank you, Scott.

Scott DeLuzio:  36:44    Thanks for listening to the Drive On Podcasts. If you want to check out more episodes or learn more about the show, you can visit our website, driveonpodcast.com.  We’re on Facebook, Twitter, and Instagram at Drive On Podcast.

]]> 00:37:08 <![CDATA[Reminiscing about SGT Steven DeLuzio and Bubble Gum]]> Tue, 03 Sep 2019 01:00:25 +0000 Scott DeLuzio https://drive-on-podcast.castos.com/podcasts/2296/episodes/reminiscing-about-sgt-steven-deluzio-and-bubble-gum [Explicit Content Warning]

This is part 2 of my talk with Wes Black. If you haven’t listened to part 1, go check that out now. You really don’t want to miss that one.

In this episode, we pick up where we left off and begin by talking about my brother Steven. Wes was on the mission that Steven was killed on, so he opens up about how that mission went.

Wes and I also share some light hearted stories about Steven that are sure to get a laugh. If you knew my brother, you’d know that it’s hard to tell a story – even one about his death – without there being a funny story involved.

Transcript

Scott DeLuzio:    00:02    Hey everybody, this is the Drive On Podcast where we talk about issues affecting veterans after they get out of the military. I’m your host, Scott DeLuzio and now let’s get on with the show.

Scott DeLuzio:    00:14    This is Part 2 of a two-part episode with Wes Black.  Part 1 came up last week and if you haven’t listened to that episode yet, go ahead and give it a listen, too. In that episode we talked a bit about Wes, his military career and some medical issues that he had stemming from his service. Our conversation lasted for well over two hours and I didn’t want to cut out anything from our conversation so I decided to break it out into two parts. And so, in this episode we’re going to talk about my brother, Steven and tell some funny stories and also some serious stories about combat and the circumstances surrounding his death and other things that went on during his life. So, without further delay, let’s get on with the second part of this episode.

Scott DeLuzio:    01:00    We talked a little bit about, how you guys met at Norwich [University].  You said you had already been in the guard. You already went to basic training at the point where you met him.  Were you one of the guys who talked him into joining the guard or,

Wes Black:    01:21    So I was not, I was not one of the guys that talked Steve into joining. Steve at the first time I met Steve was actually at a drill weekend and it was Halloween weekend and it was like a MUDA4, so, it was a Saturday, Sunday non-remain overnight. And so, Saturday night we got cut loose. And so, because I had been in the unit for a little over a year, I knew to bring civilian clothes to the drill. Because if we got released, we’d go out into Burlington and raise hell. And so, it’s Halloween night. Right? And Steve looks at me and he’s like, Bro, I don’t have any clothes. I don’t have any civilian clothes. Because at the time he was a freshman at Norwich, so freshmen aren’t allowed according to the Rook, you’re not allowed to have civilian clothes.

Wes Black:    02:07    You could if you were in the guard. But Steven only recently just come to drill and didn’t know the rules. And so, I said, I was like, fuck it man. It’s Halloween. Like, just tell everybody you’re a soldier. At the time it was 2004 and I was like, just tell everybody you’re a fucking soldier. Everybody loves fucking soldiers. I mean, we’re fucking heroes, man. Just fucking go as a soldier. So, he says, all right, so we go downtown, right? And I’m in civilian clothes. I think I had stopped and grabbed a stupid mask or something at one of the Halloween party stores. So, we’re downtown in Burlington eating pizza and drinking beer at, oh, what was it? Manhattan pizza or Mr. Mix or something like one of the pizza shops.

Wes Black:    02:53   I had actually scratched my ID, the back of my military ID because I was born in 1985. I had scratched it where the five connects down to the bottom, I scratched away that side. And then on the other side I scratched it so it looked like a three and then used the sharpie to color it in like a fine point Sharpie. So, I actually had an ID that said I was like two or three years older than I really w...

]]> full 14 false [Explicit Content Warning]

This is part 2 of my talk with Wes Black. If you haven’t listened to part 1, go check that out now. You really don’t want to miss that one.

In this episode, we pick up where we left off and begin by talking about my brother Steven. Wes was on the mission that Steven was killed on, so he opens up about how that mission went.

Wes and I also share some light hearted stories about Steven that are sure to get a laugh. If you knew my brother, you’d know that it’s hard to tell a story – even one about his death – without there being a funny story involved.

Transcript

Scott DeLuzio:    00:02    Hey everybody, this is the Drive On Podcast where we talk about issues affecting veterans after they get out of the military. I’m your host, Scott DeLuzio and now let’s get on with the show.

Scott DeLuzio:    00:14    This is Part 2 of a two-part episode with Wes Black.  Part 1 came up last week and if you haven’t listened to that episode yet, go ahead and give it a listen, too. In that episode we talked a bit about Wes, his military career and some medical issues that he had stemming from his service. Our conversation lasted for well over two hours and I didn’t want to cut out anything from our conversation so I decided to break it out into two parts. And so, in this episode we’re going to talk about my brother, Steven and tell some funny stories and also some serious stories about combat and the circumstances surrounding his death and other things that went on during his life. So, without further delay, let’s get on with the second part of this episode.

Scott DeLuzio:    01:00    We talked a little bit about, how you guys met at Norwich [University].  You said you had already been in the guard. You already went to basic training at the point where you met him.  Were you one of the guys who talked him into joining the guard or,

Wes Black:    01:21    So I was not, I was not one of the guys that talked Steve into joining. Steve at the first time I met Steve was actually at a drill weekend and it was Halloween weekend and it was like a MUDA4, so, it was a Saturday, Sunday non-remain overnight. And so, Saturday night we got cut loose. And so, because I had been in the unit for a little over a year, I knew to bring civilian clothes to the drill. Because if we got released, we’d go out into Burlington and raise hell. And so, it’s Halloween night. Right? And Steve looks at me and he’s like, Bro, I don’t have any clothes. I don’t have any civilian clothes. Because at the time he was a freshman at Norwich, so freshmen aren’t allowed according to the Rook, you’re not allowed to have civilian clothes.

Wes Black:    02:07    You could if you were in the guard. But Steven only recently just come to drill and didn’t know the rules. And so, I said, I was like, fuck it man. It’s Halloween. Like, just tell everybody you’re a soldier. At the time it was 2004 and I was like, just tell everybody you’re a fucking soldier. Everybody loves fucking soldiers. I mean, we’re fucking heroes, man. Just fucking go as a soldier. So, he says, all right, so we go downtown, right? And I’m in civilian clothes. I think I had stopped and grabbed a stupid mask or something at one of the Halloween party stores. So, we’re downtown in Burlington eating pizza and drinking beer at, oh, what was it? Manhattan pizza or Mr. Mix or something like one of the pizza shops.

Wes Black:    02:53   I had actually scratched my ID, the back of my military ID because I was born in 1985. I had scratched it where the five connects down to the bottom, I scratched away that side. And then on the other side I scratched it so it looked like a three and then used the sharpie to color it in like a fine point Sharpie. So, I actually had an ID that said I was like two or three years older than I really was and I was 19. So, I said I was 21. So, I could get into all these clubs and drink and I could go up to the bar and get drinks.  In case the police are listening, I only did it once.  So anyway, we’re out, we’re drinking. I had set Steve up in the corner and I was like, hey listen, I’m going to go to the bar, I’m going to get us a couple of drinks, I’m going to get us some food.

Wes Black:    03:40    And so at the time, I think he was with Leeza and so I come back and Steve was always a charmer, like he could strike up a conversation with the fucking wall and he really could. So, I come back and there’s these three women standing around the table that Steve is at. And I’m like, fuck. I was like, yeah, this is going to be a good night. So, I sit down and I was like, Hey, what’s going on? So. we were sitting there chatting and chatting and I look at Steve and I’m like, Yo man, you gonna bring these girls home. He looks at me and he’s like, no, I got a girlfriend. And I’m like, WHAT? so sure enough, man, we went back to the fucking hotel room and I’m sitting there going, are you fucking, are you fucking kidding me?

Wes Black:    04:28    Sure enough he called Leeza. Hey, how’s it going, honey?  I was like, oh my God. So I road his ass a little bit about that. And so, to give you another side of Steve is after we had come back from Iraq, I tried to go back to Norwich and I just couldn’t do it. So, I bummed around the Vermont guard for a long time. And so, when we were getting ready to train up to go to Afghanistan, Steve and I were in the same platoon. We were both team leaders, so we were both sergeants. I think he was assigned to first squad or maybe second squad and I was third squad.  I was the third squad Alpha team leader. I think he was like the first squad, Bravo team leader or first or second squad, Bravo team leader.

Wes Black:    05:12    And so, we were out one day at Fort Polk getting ready to train our guys. We’d set up a glass house, which is just tape on the dirt in the shape of a house and we were going to do these close quarter battle drills and train our guys on how to move through houses. And so, we go walking out and I turned to Steve and I went to check him, right. Because Steve was a hockey player. He’s a phenomenal hockey player. And he happened to get just low enough on me that when he and I went to check each other, he actually popped my right shoulder out, like dislocated it. And all of a sudden I’m like, oh fuck. And my shoulder’s killing me.

Wes Black:    05:55    And of course Steve feels bad instantly. He is like, oh my God, Bro. I’m so sorry. And so, he gets me over to the aid station house basically carry my arm and we get over to the aid station, the doc puts it back in, the docs like, all right, listen, you got to take it easy over the next day or two. Just ice it, relax it, I’m going to give you, some compression bandage to put over it. I really want you to take it easy. So, I’m like, okay. So, we go back out, we do the training, we go back inside to sit down and we had these big open barracks with built these little cots, right? And so, I’m sitting on my cot and Eric Kilburn, who was one of the guys, he was a in second platoon, very funny guy, very funny guy.

Wes Black:    06:37    Love to just joke around with anybody. And Steve was the kind of person where he would make fun of anyone mercilessly. Right. If he knew how to push your buttons. That’s exactly what he would do.

Scott DeLuzio:  the slightest opening he would dig.

Wes Black:  Oh yeah and he would dig. But I will tell you what, only Steve was allowed to do it because if somebody else started doing it, Steve was the first person to be like, Yo motherfuckers, shut the fuck shit. Like he would, he was very adamant that like, he was the only one that could fucking needle you. And so I’m sitting on my cot, minding my own business. I think I actually had my headphones on. I wasn’t paying attention. I was watching a movie, Killie comes up with this pillow, right.

Wes Black:    07:19    And he just whacks me across the back. He’s trying to be funny. Like he’s trying to start a pillow fight except it pops my shoulder back out because I had literally just had it put back in. And so, of course I instantly buckle. I start crying because of the pain, like it fucking hurt man. And so, Kellie looks at me, he’s like, Yo, you all right. Bro? And I pull my headphones on and I’m like mother fucker. So, Steve comes flying over like literally puts his hands on Kilbourn. He’s like, Yo mother Fucker, what’s your fucking problem? And so, Kelly’s like, whoa, Whoa, Whoa, I’m sorry I had no idea. And I’m like, it’s okay man. Don’t worry about it. So, Steve actually helps me get my shoulder popped back into place because if he’d watched the doctor do it so Steve knows how to do it.

Wes Black:    08:05    So Steve Helps me get popped back into place. Right. It feels better. So, he sits down next to me and I literally have like tears rolling down my face from the pain. It hurts so bad. And he looks at me and he goes, y’all right. I was like, yeah, Bro, just fucking hurts man. He goes, all right, he kind of slaps me on the knee and he goes, good, get yourself fixed up because you look like you just took second place in a drag race and fucking stands up and walks away. I was like, you mother fucker. That was the kind of person he was like, he would make sure you were okay, but he would make sure that he got one in as he was walking away.

Scott DeLuzio:  And so, the last day

Scott DeLuzio:    08:47    that I was at a Camp Atterbury you guys were there and we, after we left Camp Atterbury, we went down to Fort Polk. And so, we had all of our shit, packed up, ready to go and everything. And, and we only had like so much space on the buses that took us down there. And so, like if you had extra stuff that was not issued or on the packing list or whatever you had to carry it, like it wasn’t going in the other bags, there just was no room for it. And so, while we were waiting for the buses to get loaded up and everything, we had a few minutes before the buses left. And so, we were able to come grab some chow.

Scott DeLuzio:    09:31    It was not at our designated time or whatever but I walked in and Steve was in there, so it was your unit’s time to be in there. And I walked in and I managed to actually eat a dinner that night with him. And a few of the other guys that you guys are with. I don’t know specifically who at the time was there so, I came in my assault pack and it has shit hanging off of it. I look like a Hobo walking around with all this crap. And he just ripped into me like, where the fuck are you going?  Into summer camp or something. You need a little pillow, you need, all this other shit. In front of a group of guys I’d never met before in my life. And he’s just like, ripping it into me. And it was like one of the funniest things, but it’s exactly what you said. Like he’ll rip into you.

Wes Black:    10:25    but I guarantee you had anybody else said anything, Steve would’ve been the first part. We’ll be like, Yo, shut the fuck up. That’s my brother. Shut up.

Scott DeLuzio:    10:33    Yeah. He was totally like that. That was definitely him.

Wes Black:    10:39    Yeah. So now that we’ve given a little background story on Steve, Steve was always a comedian and so the day that Steven and Tristan got hit in Afghanistan.  We had actually planned this mission a number of times to go and conduct, it was supposed to be done by an air assault. We were supposed to get airlifted into a high ground. We had gone into this village a couple of times and every time we had gone in, we had had a firefight.  We had had troops in contact and we had been lucky the first two times that we didn’t get caught with our pants down.  But the third time we went in we did.  It was supposed to be an air assault. We were supposed to get dropped off on the high point and basically do a hammer and anvil with two platoons.

Wes Black:    11:39      Basically, conducting this sweeping operation around this little, draw that was coming down off a mountain. And so, plans change it goes from an air assault. We’re going to drive in, right? So, this is the third time we’ve conducted an operation in this village and third time we’ve driven into the village. And so, we take the same route in that we’ve taken every other time because it gives us a nice little bit of, to get into the village, there’s a bit of open space that we had to cross. And so, we threw smoke grenades, we threw some shots in two or three smoke grenades to kind of give us a little bit of cover as we moved across, our concealment I should say, not cover. And so, we get up on this peninsula, this draw that we were supposed to get up on and be air assaulted onto.

Wes Black:    12:29    We finally get up on top. And so, my platoon was conducting the sweep operation, so I was on the top. Actually, Steve and I were kind of in the middle of the top tier of the operation. our lieutenant was at the very tip because he was coordinating this whole pendulum swing  of his platoon.   Jason Smith, my platoon sergeant was down below coordinating the weapon.  First and second squad I think was who was down there. And then third and weapons were up top. And so, we’re working with our ANA Afghan national army counterparts.  We had literally just gotten up onto the draw. And we are taking a tactical pause because we were waiting for first and second squad to catch up and swing around the draw.

Wes Black:    13:28    Because they were obviously fighting the terrain, but they were also fighting a couple of houses that were in their way. So, they were having to clear the houses and go along. So, we’re taking a tactical pause, I’m on a knee and all of a sudden I hear some shouting it’s in Farsi or Pashtoon and I hear pop pop and then I hear kachunk and I was like, fuck what the fuck is that. And one of our ANA counterparts had actually walked up on somebody who was hiding in a ditch and went to engage them. And basically, he had told him like, drop your weapon. Went to engage him, pulled his trigger shot two rounds and his weapon jammed. The guy who, the insurgent, stitched him with his AK 47, pretty much, right there. At which point the whole fucking hill exploded.  I remember trying to figure out where my guys were because the terrain was such that I couldn’t see any of my guys from my squad. So, I knew I had two guys in front of me that were right there. I just couldn’t see them. And then all of a sudden I hear that Steven has been hit.  And so, I got

Wes  Black:  14:52    up and ran to find him, because he was my best friend. And I crested a little. I don’t even like a drainage ditch. And I actually ran into Southworth and one of our guys, Mike Leonard.  Southworth was the 240 Bravo machine gunner and Southie just pointed and said, he’s over there. Sarge is hit. And so, I ran up and I got to your brother and I don’t know if he was still alive, but I firmly believe that Steve died in my arms, man.  [Emotional Sniffling] Sorry.

Scott DeLuzio:    15:45    I can imagine the emotion they’re going through not only then but now even still. Thinking back on it has to be hard for anybody. Yeah.

Wes Black:    16:00    Yeah. It’s tough but I got to him, I rolled him over, basically held him for a minute and then I realized that somebody was shooting at me or shooting at us and because I could see puffs of dirt kicking up around me as I was holding Steve I looked up and sure enough there were two guys that were shooting at me from like a hundred yards away. And I picked up my rifle and I took care of business and I immediately yelled up to lieutenant that Steve was KIA, at which point it goes from a combat operation to a recovery operation to get our fallen angel out of there.  So, we continued to fight for a few more minutes. There was a little bit more confusion.

Wes Black:  17:05      The fight stopped for whatever reason, I think, probably there was enough confusion that the initial unit that had contacted us had been disrupted. They didn’t really know where we were; because again, you’ve got to remember that the entire time first and second platoon had been pivoting to sweep the lower part of the hill. So, as more of my platoon was getting involved in the fight, I think the insurgence realized we may have bit off a little bit more than we could chew.  So, my Doc Mulcahy, our medic comes flying up the fucking hill, man. He had been down with first and second squad and

Wes Black:    17:50    he did, he came flying up the fucking hill.  I had never seen anybody move up, literally almost vertical terrain as fast as he did which is a credit to him because he was, rule number one for Doc. Doc doesn’t let good men die.  Rule number two, doc will do everything he can to break rule number one, or rather prevent number one from happening.  He will fucking do anything he can to prevent rule number one from happening. And by the time Doc got there, obviously it was too late. But the funny thing about that moment that I remember vividly was at the beginning of the mission, when we got out of the trucks, Steve had jumped out of the truck and ripped his pants.  So, he wasn’t wearing underwear that day. And he turned and jokingly said, hey, Wes, do you want some bubblegum? And he held it.

Wes Black:    18:53    And so I of course laughed. And when we were packaging Steve up to get him off of the hill, I happen to notice that his balls were hanging out of his pants. And I remember laughing and the guys must’ve thought I was insane because obviously it’s really tragic, horrible event. And then I’m laughing like hysterically and they’re looking at me like, what the fuck are you laughing at? And I said, because he used to do it. Like he would walk up to people and pull his ball sack out and say, Hey, want some bubblegum? And I just pointed down and I said, you want some bubble gum? And, of course, everybody looks, sees Steve’s balls hanging out. And, of course, we all start laughing because that was the way Steve was. And we all laughed at that. That’s exactly how Steve would have gone out. And so,

Scott DeLuzio:    19:49    I mean, even as a kid, we’re growing up, he was maybe a teenager or whatever we’d be hanging out at home or whatever, and he just gets up off the couch or gets up, goes walking across the kitchen or whatever and his ass would be hanging out. And we look over, it’s like, what the F, what are you doing? And so, that doesn’t surprise me, like at all, like he did that, it didn’t matter. And he did other stupid shit like that too. But you’d be telling him a story and it didn’t quite interest him or whatever, or it was a boring story to him. And he’d be standing there and he would literally fall down to the ground, pretend like he was sleeping, like just collapsed to the ground and just fall asleep. That does not surprise me at all that he would, with his balls out or whatever to just get a laugh out of people.

Wes Black:    20:48    Yeah. That was so classic man. So, we got Steve packaged up and where we’re actually starting to head down the hill.  So, the LZ, we called them the evacuation bird, or called up to higher that we needed a medivac bird to get Steve out of there. And so, as we’re starting to come down the hill, we’re on this kind of focal point of the draw and it was really open and exposed. It wasn’t a very good tactical place for us to be walking, but it was the only clear path where we could have four guys carrying a polis litter with our fallen angel. And so, I was on Steve’s left side, well I was on the left side carrying, so it would have been Steve’s right and I was carrying his legs.

Wes Black:    21:37    And as we start to traverse down the hill, all of a sudden, we get hit again with automatic machine gun fire, RPGs, very accurate, very high-volume fire. And so, we all hit the dirt and Steve gets dropped on the trail. And so, we all scrambled for cover and realize that Steve is still laying.  So, we all get back up and bring him down into where we all jumped into this little ditch, this drainage ditch that was next to the path. So, we’re under extremely high-volume fire. And I heard again that we had taken somebody who was wounded.  Then I heard an RPG round impact and I heard that somebody else was wounded and I basically realized that we were sitting fucking ducks.

Wes Black:    22:30    And so I took it upon myself.  I grabbed our two mortar guys that we had assigned to us. I ran down the hill, I set them up and I started directing fire for them to engage this machine gun team that was firing at us from another ridge line almost like 500, 600 yards away. And they were doing an extremely good job of putting accurate fire on our position. And so, these guys expend their mortar rounds. The machine gun goes quiet for a few minutes. I get up, I run back up the hill and I forget who I told one of the guys that I was going to find us a house to basically collect all our casualties. Because at this point, I had heard that we had three more wounded. And so, I heard three more wounded, but I think in total they had said that we had three wounded. And so, I run down the hill, I find this house and I grabbed two of my Joe’s as I’m going down and we clear this fucking building and it’s a house and we cleared it. There was a small family in it that was mostly women and children.  Anyway, we secure the place and I run back up the hill to get like all of my guys to start moving down the hill

Wes Black:  23:46    to this position. So they’re out of fire.  And as they’re coming down, as I’m like running up the hill, they’re coming down. They’d followed me down. And I grabbed this body and I start pulling and I thought it was Steve and I was like, why is fucking Steve not in the litter? And I realized that it wasn’t Steve. It was Tristan Southworth.  He had in the initial volley, he was again, like I said, he was our 240 gunner.  In the initial volley, he had actually taken a round underneath his left armpit and it had gone straight out through his right armpit and basically, double-lunged and heart the kid.  He was dead  instantly and Smitty had had been walking probably six men positions behind me in the formation as we were moving out, actually, had a RPG explode right in front of him and the shrapnel actually came up and hit him in the face and knocked out most of his teeth.

Wes Black:  24:56    And I said to you, he has all this blood coming from his face.  So, we had some guys that performed really, really valorously that day.  Specialist Brandon, who was one of my guys, actually, took the 240 from Southworth’s body and actually started engaging targets and he won the Silver Star that day for his actions.  Smitty won the Bronze Star with Valor. Because, of the fact that he still maintained control over platoon while wounded, Specialist Pallotta, who actually wound up committing suicide a few years ago, after we got home, he won an ARCON with Valor. He was one of the guys that I had directed Specialist Goobek. He won an ARCON with Valor. He was another one of the mortar guys.  I received the Bronze Star.

Wes Black:  25:57      Doc actually received the Bronze Star with Valor for treating patients under fire.  Mainly, Smitty and a couple other guys won some awards for their bravery and heroism. And at the end of the day when we finally totaled up and our losses and we got down into the house, we realized that we had two fallen angels and a couple of knocked up or knocked around angels.  So, we had some pretty serious wounds to lick that day. And at the end of the day we expected to be taken out of the village, to be medivaced out or well not medivaced out, but like, evacuated out. We were expecting to get pulled out of the village that night and they actually wound up keeping us in the fucking village on the main road in our fucking trucks overnight because it’s, yes.

Wes Black:  27:02    So, we had to spend the night in the fucking village that we just lost two fucking guys sleeping on the main road in our fucking truck because when we were starting to consolidate that company back down, it was like 6: 30 at night and higher command, battalion-level command decided that it was too late for us to move and that they couldn’t get air assets to get the quick reaction force platoon out. So, they didn’t want us to leave the quick reaction force on the ground by themselves. So, our entire company had to stay to basically overwatch the acting battalion commander because the real battalion commander was on leave. The acting battalion commander was a Major Landerman and the quick reaction force platoon had to stay and basically safeguard them until the next day when they could get air assets and to get us out.  That was a rough fucking rough 24 hours. So

Scott DeLuzio:    28:09   I could only imagine how all that went down and being in there. I know when that day I was out on a mission too, and we were basically like flew in.  We had helicopters land on top of a mountain outside of a village and we worked our way down the village and we were going through clearing it. And at one point during our mission, a Black Hawk comes in and lands like at the bottom of the hill, outside of the village. And like a US general, I forgot how many stars, but I know he was a general came off the bird and a couple of French soldiers as well came off and they were like walking around and they came over to us and they were talking to us and something came over the radio to one of the people. I think it was to the general who was there and he had said that they had just lost two soldiers earlier that day.

Scott DeLuzio:    29:21    And he was in a weird way, he was talking to me about it.  And I was a sergeant, nothing. I didn’t really, I was there, but I didn’t really have any sort of importance. It just happened to be I was the guy he was talking to and he was telling me about that, but he had no idea who was, he had no idea who was killed or anything. And so, later that day after I got the news about Steven and everything, they called for Blackhawks to come take me and a couple of guys who were wounded that day.  Take them off the mountain and once when we were wrapping up with everything.  The Black Hawk, I ended up getting on that same general who had talked to me earlier that day was sitting right across from me. And he looked at me, he goes, didn’t I talk to you, you seem fine, what’s going on? I was like, yeah, my brother was KIA and he goes, that was your brother? And we just talked, a couple of hours earlier. It was like such a strange coincidence.  But know it was the same person who talked to me earlier that day and he had no idea who I was or who Steven was or anything like that. But it was bizarre.

Wes Black:  30:48    I don’t identify as a particularly religious man. I believe in a higher power. I don’t go to church every Sunday. I don’t follow with an organized religion, but I do believe that there is something good after, all of this. There has to be, because I’ve seen so much horrible fucking shit for there not to be something on the other end. And it’s funny because you have to know that it’s, I firmly believe that that was Steve’s way of bracing you for the news that was to come.

Scott DeLuzio:    31:34   I’ve reflected on that quite a bit over the years and thought to myself “why did things work out the way they did?”  And like you said, it’s like I sort of feel everything happens for a reason and that they don’t believe that that was a coincidence that that guy was there and that we talked, he specifically talked to me.  You know about that type of stuff.  Soften the blow a little bit because in the back of your head you have to think, it could have been, but even though that wasn’t necessarily the thought that I had, that it was Steve necessarily because out of the thousands of other soldiers, who would’ve thought it would necessarily been him, but no, it softened it a little bit. I even remember after I got to Bagram after all that happened and everybody there was totally taking care of everything for me. They were trying to make sure everything was okay for me. And,

Wes Black:  5    32:50    okay.

Scott DeLuzio:    32:52   I was all like torn up and everything from the mission that we’re on uniform and everything like that. So, I look like hell, but they told me to go take a shower and everything.  I remember standing there in the shower, it was just me in this particular room.  I remember just verbally going, why, why, why?  I don’t know if I was talking to God at that moment or if I was talking to Steve or whatever. But in the moment I realized that these things happen for a reason and that, I may not understand that reason. The situation might suck, but everything I felt happens for a reason. I just have to trust it and go with it.  No amount of questioning it is going to change. And so, you have to,

Wes Black:   33:40    That’s the attitude that we had to take.  Obviously, we were as a platoon we’re fucking devastated. I mean it’s okay. It took us a good solid month to finally get back to being even a semi functional fucking unit.  I mean, I say that, but it probably was only a couple of weeks before we were back on doing missions, but we weren’t the same.  I think everybody kind of got that realization that we were very, very, very fucking mortal.  We had been extremely lucky our entire deployment that no one had really gotten hurt. No one had really gotten injured. Certainly no one had gotten killed before August 22nd. And so, we had quite a bit of confidence that had built up because we thought, for lack of a better term, we were fucking invincible man.

Wes Black:  34:41      and then for us to have that super devastating blow come, it really knocked quite a few of us on our ass.  Me especially, because Anthony Ames, Chuck Ames, Steve and I were best friends and it was a very, very hard, hard blow for Chuck and I.  We were the three fucking amigos, man. Now that was who we were. And so, even today like Chuck and I talk but you can tell that there is a very big hole in our relationship, I don’t want to say that but you can tell that there is a very big space because of the pain that the two of us have for losing our friend.

Wes Black:  35:42    I can only imagine how much it is for you and your family losing your brother and your son.  It’s funny because everybody in combat understands how we are brothers and we become family.  You take people from all different walks of life and you literally throw them into this melting pot, this crucible pot and you turn them out into a family of people and to lose not just one but two brothers in a day. It did a wonderful job bonding the rest of us. But it did an amazing job of smashing a lot of us. And it was really, really hard to recover from. And some of us still haven’t recovered.  That’s part of the message here is that you have to, no matter what life throws at you in terms of blows, life is going to hit you in the teeth multiple times.

Wes Black:  36:56    That’s when you have to,  lay on the ground for a second, you catch your breath, you spit your blood and teeth out, and then you got to roll back over and get on your hands and knees and you’ve got to find that strength to put that foot forward and just stand back up. And I’ve had to learn from not just Steve’s death, but from my friends in Iraq who were killed.  Mark Dooley, who was my platoon leader who got killed actually in my truck spot five days after I got wounded. He was in the spot that I was in because I had gotten wounded five days before I had that was the first time I ever got knocked on my fucking ass. And it was really, really hard to pick myself back up because the night before he had spent time with me sitting in a truck smoking a cigar and gave me his ranger tab because I had wanted to go to ranger school literally the night before. You got fucking killed in my spot and he gave me his fucking ranger tab and told me to put it in my hat when I went to ranger school and look at it. And I still have that ranger tab. It’s downstairs in all my stuff. And I’m in the process of renovating my basement and building the bar and someday when my bar is done, I’m going to hang that very proudly next to all the other military memorabilia and pictures that I have of all my friends.

Wes Black:  38:21    Now that we’ve talked and been somber, I do have a very funny story about Steve. So, a couple months ago, do you remember the church that your parents grew up in? They were Eucharistic ministers down in Glastonbury.  What was the name of that church?

Scott DeLuzio:  St. Dunstans

Wes Black:  Okay. So, my aunt who married into my family, so my uncle Neil, my mother’s brother, his wife had a family member pass away. I think it was her brother. And he had been a member of the local Glastonbury community for a long time. He was a member of Glastonbury, Connecticut Country Club, I don’t know, whatever the country club is there. My wife and I and my son went down to support her for the funeral.  So, I’m in church and I’m sitting in the back and I’m looking around and it was a really nice church a really beautiful church.

Wes Black:  39:22    And, of course, I see my cousins, I see my aunt and my uncle and I’m waving hi and my kid starts getting fussy because three-year-olds don’t like to sit still and sit quiet. My wife gets up and she walks out and takes him into the lobby and I’m sitting there and the next thing I know, I feel a tap on my shoulder and I turn and I look and it’s my wife and she’s holding my son and she hands me Steven’s memorial card from his funeral, nine years after the fact.  Of course, I have at the time, I have no idea that this is the church that you and Steve and your parents grew up in and were Eucharistic ministers and so I’m like fucking flat out shocked, right? Like all the fucking churches in all the fucking county of Glastonbury, Connecticut.

Wes Black:  40:18    I find the one that has a picture of Steve in it, right. And my wife had actually walked out and as she was walking out, she looked up and she saw Steve’s picture and she goes, oh, hi Steve. And so, she pulled the picture down, brought it in to me. And, of course, I start like fucking giggling and laughing, right? Because I’m like, you motherfucker, of course. And so, we walk out of the church service and I walk up to my aunt, my uncle, and my cousins and Laura is telling them the story of how she found the prayer card. And, of course, my aunt is like wicked superstitious and she’s like, “oh my God, it’s a sign.”  And so I start laughing and I’m like, all right. It’s a sign. Yeah. Yeah, I know. And so, we went to the country club for the luncheon after the funeral. Right. And so I’m sitting there and I was in a really nice suit. It was an older suit, like one of the first suits that I had bought. And so, Ronan, my son, gets up and starts running from one end of the country club banquet hall to the other.  Of course, I have to run after him, right. Because he’s taken off running towards the front door. And so, just as I catch Ronin,

Wes Black:    41:34    I go to a step and block him and the seat of my pants splits wide open. Right? Only Wes Black at a fucking funeral banquet, splits the seam of his pants wide open. And, of course, not wearing underwear. And what do you think is hanging out of the bottom of my fucking pants? And so, I literally start laughing because I can’t do anything else, right?  I’m holding my kid trying to like pull my pants together so you don’t see my ass. And I walked back in and my wife’s like, you all right. And I’m like, no, my fucking pants just split my pants. So, I give Ronan to her and say that I’ve got to go get my jacket. Because it was probably February or March, it was cold. And so, I go get my fancy dress jacket and I literally tie it around my waist, like a sweatshirt, you know?

Wes Black:    42:42    And my aunt is like, “oh my God.” So, I tell my uncle the story of Steve when he died and how he had his bubble gum out and my uncles starts fucking howling laughing and he goes, you have to be shitting me? And I’m like, no.  And he goes, motherfucker, if that isn’t a fucking sign, I don’t know what is. And so, I actually went to visit Steve not long after the funeral service because I had planned on it because we were literally 10 minutes away from Steve’s headstone. And so, I went to see Steve and I kneel over his grave and I’m like, you mother fucker. And so, I introduced Steve to Ronan for their first time, but I’ll tell you man, I couldn’t stop laughing.  I called your dad, actually, that night to tell him the story and even he was laughing his ass off going, oh it’s too classic.  There’s no way it wasn’t Steve. And he goes even if it wasn’t him Steve was dying laughing like laughing his ass off.

Scott DeLuzio:    43:55    Oh sure. Yeah, exactly. And it’s funny because the Glastonbury country club is where you said you were at is the same place that we had the same banquet kind of reception after Steve’s funeral.  That’s where we did a golf tournament for the first few years after he passed away to raise some money for charity stuff. And,

Wes Black:    44:19    the first year I came was, I think the year before you guys stopped doing because you guys had moved out to Arizona.

Scott DeLuzio:    44:26    Yeah. So, we did it there.  I think we did it five years, afterwards and so all five years it was at the, the Glastonbury Country Club there.  Growing up as kids, we played golf there and everything. That was part of our lives too.  It’s funny how it continues to have Steve’s presence even to this day.  You know with your pants ripping.

Wes Black:    44:57    Well it’s funny man because the only reason I ever picked up the game of golf and actually I’ve actually become, I don’t want to say a good Golfer an okay Golfer. I don’t have a fantastic handicap. I have a 15 handicap but I’ve only been playing for a few years. And the only reason I picked up golf clubs was because I wanted to play in Steve’s tournament and I started playing, I do think it was the second year or the like the year before your parents and you guys had moved out to Arizona because you were hitting balls on one of the tees for like 10 bucks or something.  You hit a golf drive for people and I remember playing, because I played with Jean Enriques and Mark Slade because we’d all gone down to play. So, that was the only reason why I play golf now is to be able to get to heaven and kick your brother’s ass at fucking golf.

Scott DeLuzio:    46:07    Well, we’ve stopped doing the golf tournament. It got to be quite a bit of work to put on an event like that, now that we’re all living out here, it’s hard to do that type of thing remotely. But we are actually planning more of a banquet dinner type thing the weekend after Memorial Day, I think May 30th of this coming year 2020, in Connecticut.  We’re all going back for that. And so, we’re looking forward to having that. So, if anybody who is available to come down, who wants to join us or whatever, we will have more information coming out in the next few weeks.

Wes Black:    47:00    No, I tell you right now, man, I guarantee you 90% of my platoon will show up for it. Yeah. We were talking a bunch of dudes ready to show up and go to that. I guarantee it.

Scott DeLuzio:    47:14    Great. All right this has been amazing chat with you about everything and share some memories about Steve and everything. And I think that’s a fitting way to,

Scott DeLuzio:    47:30     mark the anniversary nine years now, since his passing. And so, thank you for coming on and sharing, your thoughts and your memories about all of this stuff.  So, thanks. Thanks for coming on.

Wes Black:  47:48    I’m really happy I got to come on, man. I thank you for giving me the opportunity to talk about Steve and I hope that whoever’s listening to this, if you’re a veteran and you feel like you literally have run out of any options, I read a really good comment or picture meme and him on Facebook the other day, but I would rather sit and listen for four and a half hours for you to get out everything that you need to get out and talk about and make you feel better than spend 15 minutes listening to your eulogy. And that there isn’t a fucking truer statement. I don’t think about any veteran would be willing to do anything for another vet. So, if you’re a veteran listening to this or if you’re not a veteran listening to this and you’re going through some sort of mental health crisis, reach out to somebody.  There’s always somebody willing to listen. Because I tell you I really would, I’d rather spend 12 hours on the phone with you walking you through something that’s going on than sit and listen to a eulogy for 15 minutes.

Scott DeLuzio:    49:14    I don’t know really anybody who would disagree with that, that sentiment.

Wes Black:   49:21    Yeah.

Wes Black:  49:23    Well, and you told me right before we started the show that you’ve had members of your unit that have committed suicide and we actually had two, one from our unit and one from a sister unit that have committed suicide since returning home from Afghanistan. And it’s 22 a day is what they say. The average is for veterans committing suicide. And that’s too many.  One is too many, but 22 is definitely way too many. I would like to say that if anybody needs it, reach out. There’s tons of options for reaching out to a battle buddy.  If somebody that is listening to this that knows me, reach out to me,  if you’re listening to this, you obviously know Scott, reach out to Scott.  Please, please, please do not make a permanent solution for a temporary problem.

Scott DeLuzio:    50:24    Yeah, absolutely. I don’t think truer words have been spoken on this show. Because that definitely needs to get across. And I think that’s part of why I’m doing this.  I can’t stand seeing people make those permanent decisions and not have any way to get out of it.

Wes Black:  50:49    And I don’t mean to toot my own horn, that’s not why I’m on here. But if I can go through everything that I’m going through the post-traumatic stress, the TBI, the fact that I’ve been handed this terminal diagnosis, some of the shit that I’ve seen on the fire side, some of the shit that I’ve seen on the military side, if I can find the strength every morning to get up and put my two fucking feet on the floor, guess what? You can too. And I don’t care who is listening to this, if I can do it, so can you and you need to be able to do it every single day and maybe fucking the hardest thing you do, but you need to put your two feet on the floor.

Scott DeLuzio:    51:36    Absolutely. Amen to that. So, all right, well let’s wrap it up and thank you again for joining me and

Wes Black:   Thank you, Scott

Scott DeLuzio:  And for everything else that’s been going on. So, thanks

Scott DeLuzio:  51:54     Thanks for listening to the Drive On Podcast. If you want to check out more episodes or learn more about the show, you can visit our website, driveonpodcast.com, we’re on Facebook, Twitter, and Instagram at drive on podcasts.

]]> 00:52:19 <![CDATA[Burn Pits, the VA, and Keeping a Positive Attitude]]> Tue, 27 Aug 2019 04:02:05 +0000 Scott DeLuzio https://drive-on-podcast.castos.com/podcasts/2296/episodes/burn-pits-the-va-and-keeping-a-positive-attitude [Explicit Content Warning]

In this episode, we talk to Wes Black, a veteran is suffering from extremely serious complications from burn pit exposure, yet still manages to keep a positive outlook.

I know I learned a lot by listening to his story and outlook.

Links and Resources

Vets who served in any of the following are eligible to be registered on the VA’s Airborne Hazards and Open Burn Pit Registry:

  • Operation Enduring Freedom
  • Operation Iraqi Freedom
  • Operation New Dawn
  • Djibouti, Africa (on or after September 11, 2001)
  • Operation Desert Shield
  • Operation Desert Storm
  • Southwest Asia theater of operations on or after August 2, 1990

Check your eligibility and sign up here.

Vermont Senate Bill 111

Transcript

Scott DeLuzio:    00:02    Hey everybody, this is the Drive On Podcast where we talk about issues affecting veterans after they get out of the military. I’m your host, Scott DeLuzIo, and now let’s get on with the show.

Scott DeLuzio: 00:14    This is Part 1 of a two-part episode where I talked to Wes Black, a soldier who served with my brother in both Iraq and Afghanistan. We got to talking for over two hours and while it was all great stuff, I thought that it was a little bit long for just one episode.  What we talked about was really good and so I didn’t want to cut out any of it. Instead, I’m going to break the conversation down into two parts.  The first [of the] two here in just a second in this episode where we talk a lot about Wes, his military career and some medical issues that he’s going through. And the second will come out next week on September 3rd where we talk a bit about my brother Steven. Without further delay, let’s get on with the show.

Scott DeLuzio: Hey everyone, thanks for tuning into the Drive On Podcast today.

Scott DeLuzio:  01:00    My guest is Wes Black, who served in Iraq and Afghanistan with my brother.  Wes is here to tell his story about his time in the military and then serving his community later on as a firefighter and some of the struggles that he’s had along the way.  Wes, I don’t want to give away too much information about you here; so why don’t you tell us a little about yourself and your military service and when you joined and all that kind of stuff, and then we’ll go from there.

Wes Black:  01:31    Yeah, sure. I enlisted in November of 2003. I was a student in Norwich University. It’s actually where I met your brother, Steve, the first time. Not 2003; I met him in 2004 but I enlisted in ‘03 in the Vermont Army National Guard.  I went to basic training that following summer, came back, did another semester at college, and then we got the warning order that we were going to Ramadi, Iraq.  So, we deployed January of ’05, went down to Camp Shelby.  We did six months to train up and then I was in country June or July of 2005 in Ramadi, Iraq, and we served until June of 2006.  [We] came back, I tried to go back to college; it didn’t work out for me.

Wes Black:  02:24   And then, I actually worked for the Vermont Army National Guard as active duty for specialized work.  ADSW is what we call it.  So, it’s a Title 32 order, so it’s like active duty, but it’s for a year-long term; what we would call a tour.  So, I did that for a couple of years. I worked for the Army Mountain Warfare School as a supply person.  I was helping in the supply room.  Every once in a while, they let me sneak out and I’d kind of go up and help with training, setting it up and taking it down. But I was never an instructor or anything like that.  And then I spent a little bit of time working for the unit when we were getting ready to deploy to Af...

]]> full 13 false [Explicit Content Warning]

In this episode, we talk to Wes Black, a veteran is suffering from extremely serious complications from burn pit exposure, yet still manages to keep a positive outlook.

I know I learned a lot by listening to his story and outlook.

Links and Resources

Vets who served in any of the following are eligible to be registered on the VA’s Airborne Hazards and Open Burn Pit Registry:

  • Operation Enduring Freedom
  • Operation Iraqi Freedom
  • Operation New Dawn
  • Djibouti, Africa (on or after September 11, 2001)
  • Operation Desert Shield
  • Operation Desert Storm
  • Southwest Asia theater of operations on or after August 2, 1990

Check your eligibility and sign up here.

Vermont Senate Bill 111

Transcript

Scott DeLuzio:    00:02    Hey everybody, this is the Drive On Podcast where we talk about issues affecting veterans after they get out of the military. I’m your host, Scott DeLuzIo, and now let’s get on with the show.

Scott DeLuzio: 00:14    This is Part 1 of a two-part episode where I talked to Wes Black, a soldier who served with my brother in both Iraq and Afghanistan. We got to talking for over two hours and while it was all great stuff, I thought that it was a little bit long for just one episode.  What we talked about was really good and so I didn’t want to cut out any of it. Instead, I’m going to break the conversation down into two parts.  The first [of the] two here in just a second in this episode where we talk a lot about Wes, his military career and some medical issues that he’s going through. And the second will come out next week on September 3rd where we talk a bit about my brother Steven. Without further delay, let’s get on with the show.

Scott DeLuzio: Hey everyone, thanks for tuning into the Drive On Podcast today.

Scott DeLuzio:  01:00    My guest is Wes Black, who served in Iraq and Afghanistan with my brother.  Wes is here to tell his story about his time in the military and then serving his community later on as a firefighter and some of the struggles that he’s had along the way.  Wes, I don’t want to give away too much information about you here; so why don’t you tell us a little about yourself and your military service and when you joined and all that kind of stuff, and then we’ll go from there.

Wes Black:  01:31    Yeah, sure. I enlisted in November of 2003. I was a student in Norwich University. It’s actually where I met your brother, Steve, the first time. Not 2003; I met him in 2004 but I enlisted in ‘03 in the Vermont Army National Guard.  I went to basic training that following summer, came back, did another semester at college, and then we got the warning order that we were going to Ramadi, Iraq.  So, we deployed January of ’05, went down to Camp Shelby.  We did six months to train up and then I was in country June or July of 2005 in Ramadi, Iraq, and we served until June of 2006.  [We] came back, I tried to go back to college; it didn’t work out for me.

Wes Black:  02:24   And then, I actually worked for the Vermont Army National Guard as active duty for specialized work.  ADSW is what we call it.  So, it’s a Title 32 order, so it’s like active duty, but it’s for a year-long term; what we would call a tour.  So, I did that for a couple of years. I worked for the Army Mountain Warfare School as a supply person.  I was helping in the supply room.  Every once in a while, they let me sneak out and I’d kind of go up and help with training, setting it up and taking it down. But I was never an instructor or anything like that.  And then I spent a little bit of time working for the unit when we were getting ready to deploy to Afghanistan.  And then in 2010, we deployed to Paktika Province, Afghanistan. We deployed in October of ‘09, and went to JRTC. Then we deployed to Afghanistan. We were in country like January/February of 2010.  Again, I think it was in January, Scott?

Scott DeLuzio:  03:26    Oh, it was somewhere. Yeah, towards the end of the year maybe.

Wes Black:  03:28    Yeah somewhere around there.   So, I got home from that and did a little bit more time bumming around the guard. And then I was medically retired in 2015 for post-traumatic stress, my back and my knees.  Basically, I couldn’t do the infantry job anymore, which is what I went to basic training for.  Some of the schooling stuff that I’ve done:  I went to sniper school, I went to the army mountain warfare school, I did some small classes like combat lifesaver and javelin and stuff like that, but I wasn’t real high speed. Some of the, do you want me to talk about it with like awards and decorations and stuff like that or I’m not sure if you want me to go ahead?

Scott DeLuzio:  Sure, if you want to go ahead.

Wes Black:  04:21   So, I had my Combat Infantryman’s Badge, I have a Bronze Star with Valor that I got actually the day that Steve got killed.  I have a Purple Heart, I have an ARCOM with Valor, and then just all the blanket award kind of stuff, the deployment ribbons and all the other kinds of fruit salad stuff you get for just showing up and participating.  But we do have from our time when we were under the Marines in Ramadi, we do have a Naval Unit Commendation, which is something that our unit’s really proud of.  And then underneath our 101st Airborne counterparts, when we were in Afghanistan, we actually got the Presidential Unit Citation; the Alpha company did; that was Steven and my unit. So, we’ve been recognized for our unit as being a pretty valorous unit for our times deployed.

Scott DeLuzio:  05:22    Yeah, absolutely. And from what Steven had told me throughout everything, while we were deployed and everything, it seems like you guys were kind of in the middle of quite a bit over there.

Wes Black:  05:35    Yeah. it was kind of a running joke, cause if it was a fight, send, Alpha company or send the Mountain Boys because it was the running joke.

Scott DeLuzio:  05:45    Yeah, Well I mean as you know, I was over there at the same time and I don’t think we had it nearly as bad as you guys did, in terms of combat and everything like that. But we all thank you guys for everything that you guys did over there

Wes Black:  No, thank you because you were there too, dude.

Scott DeLuzio:  Thanks. You mentioned that you met Steven at Norwich back in ’03 or ’04.

Wes Black:  06:16    I think it was 2004 because he had transferred in from, he went to Hofstra, didn’t he first?

Scott DeLuzio:  That’s correct; he went to Hofstra for a year.

Wes Black:  Yeah.  And I think he failed out or did he get kicked out for drinking?

Scott DeLuzio:  06:31   Well the way the story went with him was

Wes Black: Because I never got the full story.

Scott DeLuzio:  Because he wasn’t focused on school, he was more into the partying and everything else.  So, he came home after, I don’t know if it was like on a weekend or something, and he was like, “You know what, I can’t go back there.”  He wanted to go to a military school. And at the time he had no idea about Norwich or which military school.  To him, it was kind of irrelevant at that point. He just knew he wanted to go to a military school to kind of get that discipline and kick his ass in gear so that he wasn’t doing all that partying and drinking and everything else that was kind of knocking him off course.

Scott DeLuzio:    07:25    That’s kind of why he went there. One other thing about Steven, just for people who are listening, we’re recording this the day before the 9th Anniversary of his death.  Wes said when we first talked about setting up a time to record, he said he wanted to do it around this time, just to talk about Steve and remember him a little bit too.  I appreciate that kind of sentiment as well.

Wes Black:  08:01    We lost Steve that day and we lost Tristan Southworth as well.  And actually, tomorrow Jason Smith, who was our Platoon Sergeant, he and I are doing a thunder run down to Steve’s gravesite in Glastonbury [CT].  And then we’re coming back to do a run up to Morrisville [VT] to see Tristan’s gravesite as well.  So, my day tomorrow is going to be a little packed with that but we’re going to do the thunder run for the boys.

Scott DeLuzio:  08:30    Nice.  Well, we appreciate that, that they’re obviously not forgotten and people are continuing to pay their respects and everything and that’s awesome all these years later

Wes Black:   08:43    Yeah, wait, I didn’t get to it last year because I was a, well, we’ll get into it, but I was too sick last year. I couldn’t go.  So, this year I’m making a point of going.

Scott DeLuzio: Awesome.

Scott DeLuzio:  08:56    So talking a little bit about that, your sickness that you are talking about.  I know you’ve had some health problems stemming from your military service.  And would you mind telling us a little bit about that?

Wes Black:  09:13    January of 2017, I started noticing, I’d been having a lot of bowel issues.  Loose stools, watery stools, abdominal cramps, nothing crazy.  It was uncomfortable. It was kind of annoying. I would eat dinner or lunch or breakfast and then literally within five minutes I’d be running for the bathroom.  The joke was I can clear the firehouse, because I work as a career firefighter, I could clear the firehouse from the bathroom in the back of the bay.  I was eating at a meal, like the guys used to joke that I had two hollow legs because I would eat 5 to 10,000 calories in a meal and I wasn’t gaining weight, I wasn’t losing weight.

Wes Black:  09:57    I was just eating so much food and it was a running joke that you’d have to take a second mortgage out just to feed me on shift.  January of 2017 I’d actually just come back from Ireland. My wife is from Ireland.  I’d come back early because I didn’t have that much time to take off.  So, I don’t think we’d gone over for like two weeks and I came into the fire station one night to do what we call coverage, so we have a minimum staffing that’s always at the firehouse ready to take on a call, and our minimum staffing right now is three. So, anytime there’s only one or two firefighters in the firehouse, we call somebody in to kind of cover and boost our numbers.

Wes Black:  10:42    So I came in for coverage because my wife was still in Ireland and I said, oh, I’ll come in and just hang out at the firehouse. And I had to go to the bathroom; which isn’t a big deal but I went into the bathroom and sat down on the toilet and I had this really awful sounding, smelling kind of thing come out of me and I was like, boy, what the hell was that.  It’s going to get gross so I apologize to your listeners.  When I went to clean myself up and when I went to reach for more toilet paper, my hand looked like I had dipped it in some kind of horror movie style pool of blood and I turned around and looked and it looked like somebody had taken an IV bag full of blood, like a blood donation bag like you would do at the Red Cross, and just dumped it in the toilet.

Wes Black:  11:30    I thought, oh my God, what the fuck?  I went running out to one of my paramedics and I was like, Keith, you got to come look at this.  He was sitting in one of the chairs and he kind of leans back and he looks at me and he’s like, fuck you bro. I am not going to look at your shit no matter how big it is. And you know, he was a lieutenant. I was like Keith, now.  He was like, whoa, and so he got up, walked into the bathroom, took one look in the toilet and he said, get in the fucking ambulance. We’re going to the hospital right now.  Where I live in Vermont the VA is actually 10 minutes away from my house, but it’s five minutes away from the fire station.

Wes Black:  12:11    They ran me up and a couple of tests and colonoscopy and blood tests later, I found out that I have Stage 4 colon cancer with metastatic spread to my liver.  So that was in January of 2017. I had literally just finished my probationary year as a fireman. I was in the middle of the process of buying my home. My son was just about to turn one. I mean, I had everything going right in my life and then all of a sudden, like, you get that big C-word kind of diagnosis and I thought my fucking life was going to fall apart.  And so, it took a long time for me to come to grips with that.  I obviously know that the title of this podcast is “drive on.”

Wes Black:  13:09    It’s hard to take a hit like that and roll yourself back over, wallow in the dirt for a second, spit the blood out and spit whatever loose teeth are done, rolling around in your face from the blow and then stand back up.  I had to because I still needed to provide for my family. You know my wife is a physical therapist, but she’s a stay at home mom right now because she wants to take care of our kid.  I still have a mortgage. I still have car payments and all this other stuff. So in between rounds of chemotherapy, I’ve actually still been working as a career firefighter, which my doctor looks at me like I have seven heads, because he just doesn’t understand.

Wes Black:  14:06    He doesn’t understand how I do it.  You think of most people you know who are on chemotherapy, they don’t look healthy. They look sick.  Right now, I am very fortunate, knock on wood, I’m still very healthy. I’m able to do chemotherapy on a Monday and I’m usually back in work by Friday or Thursday, the earliest. If my lab counts and stuff are going right, I’m back in work on a Thursday working full duty as a fireman, which is fucking unheard of.  Like my guys at the firehouse joke that, I’m either like a biomechanical freak, like superman or fucking Deadpool.  They don’t know how to take me, dude.  The thing is that I’ve had to learn that no matter how hard it is to get this kind of [diagnosis].  I’ve had setbacks; obviously, the Cancer.   It’s contained right now.  That’s the kind of best thing I can hope for. But it’s still growing a little bit every time I take a break from chemotherapy. I just did my 36th round of chemotherapy on the 19th of July.  I’m scheduled to do Round 37, Wednesday.  It’s been a long grueling process.

Scott DeLuzio:  15:42    Gosh!  And so, before we started recording here, we were chatting a little bit about that whole process of kind of picking yourself back up.  It’s amazing to see somebody who has the diagnosis that you had and all the other things going on in your life and how you’ve managed to pick yourself up and just continue, like you said, to drive on.  Dust yourself off and keep on going and not letting something like this get you down or keep you down anyways.

Wes Black:  16:23    And the thing about it, I mean, I don’t know if you’re familiar with the stages of cancer.  So, Stage one is typically like early diagnosis. There might be a small cell cluster, like a small tumor.  This stage usually means like for colon cancer, like stage one is like a polyp.  Stage two, it means that it’s a polyp that’s kind of gone into the intestinal wall, but not all the way through full thickness. Stage three is when it’s kind of gone full thickness through the intestinal wall and maybe affected some of the lymph nodes around it.  Stage four is when it is actually trans, like transplanted throughout your body, which is what they call metastatic, metastasizing, or metastases.  Depending on the different types of cancer that you can get, typically, if you look at colon cancer, the survival rate for stage one, because obviously it’s early detection,

Wes Black:  17:21    the survivability rate is like 75 to 90% after five years.  A stage two, the survivability rate is anywhere between 50 to 75% roughly give or take.  Obviously if it’s progressed into the wall, they don’t know how much it’s progressed.  Stage three is borderline of 25 to 50% survivability after five years. Because, if it’s gone stage three and it’s permeated the wall and into the lymph nodes and obviously there is a chance that it’s spread somewhere else. And then a stage four is essentially a death sentence.  Survivability rate after five years is less than 10%.  Granted, if you look at those statistics, it’s typically in people who are much older than I am.

Wes Black:  18:18    I’m 33, 34, I just turned 34.  So, I was diagnosed at 31 32.  I’ve been fighting it for two years. So, my survivability rate might be a little different because I’m younger and doctors can give me a much higher dose of chemotherapy than they can in their stereotypical patient who is 50, 60, 70, who they can’t blast with all this chemotherapy and then they can’t recover as quickly as I can. So, they have to lower the dose each time. They give it to them not to make the patient too sick. So, I’ve been pretty fortunate in that aspect.  Essentially, stage four, I got handed a death sentence.

Scott DeLuzio:  19:05    I knew somebody who recently, within the last couple of years now, went through pretty heavy doses of chemotherapy and they were only able to go through that just because of the fact that they were so healthy to begin with.  Outside of the cancer that they had, they were able to get the higher dose and that high dose really worked. They are Cancer free now.  So, hopefully, continuing this will help prolong

Wes Black:  19:46    Unfortunately, my cancer was tied to the burn pits that we were all exposed to while serving in Iraq and Afghanistan. And a friend of yours, he gets it, may have served Horn of Africa or anything like that, Kuwait, Saudi Arabia, [etc.] Everywhere that trash was burned is considered an open airborne hazard registry area or burn pit area. I actually went down to Dana Farber and the leading doctor at Dana Farber for gastrointestinal cancers basically wrote the letter that service connected me to the burn pit saying that for my age and my aggressive type and form of cancer that I have, there’s no way that I would’ve gotten this any other way than being exposed  to the burn pits.  So, if the guests that are listening and if any of them are our military veterans that have served over in Iraq and Afghanistan, the only thing I would ask is please, please, please go onto the VA website, find the open airborne hazards registry, burn pit registry and sign up.

Wes Black:    21:05    It’s not necessarily going to get you service connection. You can request a medical appointment, at the very end of it for any sort of health issues that you’re having. But it’s a data collection point because I think unfortunately, the “burn pits” are going to be our generation’s “agent orange.”  We’re already starting to see veterans who are passing away from really strange types of cancer that wouldn’t typically happen to people in their age group.  I take, for example, me [getting] stage four colon cancer. They’re saying there’s no fucking way that a 30 something year old who’s perfectly healthy otherwise gets stage four colon cancer without being exposed to something. Vermont has lost two high ranking, Brigadier General Mike Heston and Sergeant Major Mike Cram to cancer.  Their families who are actually part of a piece of legislation that I just helped, I testified on behalf of.

Wes Black:    22:11    We just had it passed that the VA in Vermont now has to contact every Vermont veteran who served overseas and tell them that they may have been exposed to these burn pits and that their health could be compromised. It’s the only legislation of its type in the United States, currently.  I was a part of that; so, I’m actually really proud of that, being a part of that. June Heston, whose husband, Brigadier General, Mike Heston passed away from pancreatic cancer is really spearheading it. And I’ve been very fortunate to be able to work with her and get the word out. But if you have veterans that are listening to this podcast, that’s the only thing that I would recommend is if you have any sort of health issue, please, please, please get it checked out.

Wes Black:    23:02    Don’t let it sit and fester. If you have a cough that you haven’t been able to shake for a year, please just go to the doctor and push and push until they finally do everything. Exhaust every option to ensure that it’s not something that’s basically like me. You know, I’d complained to the VA for years that I was having all these issues with my stomach, with my gut, and they kept telling me, “Oh, it’s irritable bowel syndrome”, or “Oh, you have Crohn’s disease.”  I never had a colonoscopy. No one ever did any sort of real deep testing until I quite literally shit a bucket of blood. That’s unfortunate because now I’m facing a really shitty outcome from that.

Scott DeLuzio:    23:53    It’s unfortunate but you need to be your own advocate with regards to your health care.  I’ve had a similar, not similar to the degree of that type of diagnosis or whatever, but just a misdiagnosis. Where I went into the VA because I was having breathing trouble at one point. They said it was anxiety or stress or something like that that was causing it.  They gave me an anxiety medication to help with it.  After getting a second opinion and also, looking into it on my own; which, by the way, I never took any of the medication that they prescribed me, because I knew it wasn’t stress.  The only thing I was stressed about at the time was the fact that I couldn’t breathe.  Like you told me with yourself that there was something wrong there.  I looked into it and it turns out like certain kinds of heartburn or acid reflux kind of things could have symptoms of feeling like you’re short of breath. So, what I needed was an antacid or something like that, like Tums or whatever to get rid of that.

Wes Black:    25:04    And then they prescribe you anti-anxiety medication.

Scott DeLuzio:    25:10    Yeah, exactly. I was just at that point that I knew I had to be my own advocate for this type of stuff because they weren’t.  They spent 15 minutes with me and they were checking certain vital signs and stuff like that. And they said, oh yeah, it must be something else.  I knew it wasn’t what they were saying it was. So, it was just probably like the most common issue that they see with people, with the symptoms that I had. And they’d probably just threw me into that bucket.

Wes Black:    25:43    That’s the bad thing with the VA is that I used to joke that they delay, deny and hope you die, because they just don’t want to help if they can’t fix you with a prescription bottle full of pills, then they don’t want to deal with you. This is the mentality that I get from a lot of VA visits that I had now that I’ve gotten as sick as I am, as young as I am, people have started to take notice when I say, “Hey, I’m not feeling good.” People tend to like [screeching sound of putting on the brakes] like what? For a long time, I would walk into the VA and I would tell my primary care doctor, “listen, I am experiencing severe abdominal cramps.”

Wes Black:    26:32    “Like what, what is going on? You need to do something.” And she would say, “oh no, it’s probably just your IBS.”  At the time I would think, okay, well you’re the doctor. I’m not the doctor. So, you know better. Then after a while, nothing was working. None of the medication they were prescribing was helping. None of the stuff was working and I finally just said, “you know what?” I guess I just have to live with this for the rest of my life.” How ironic.  It turned out to be that because I didn’t push and I didn’t advocate because I didn’t know that it’s turned, unfortunately rather serious.

Scott DeLuzio:  27:19    Right. Still, despite all of this, the bad diagnosis that you have now and the outcome that you’re experiencing here, you still have a positive attitude throughout the whole thing. Which, to me is the most important part in that it is because you’re still able to carry on and pick yourself back up. And that’s just amazing!

Wes Black:    27:49    Well, I’ve had to learn that.  So again, I work as a full-time fireman. If you’re not getting fucked with at the fire then we don’t like you.  When I first got diagnosed everybody was saying, “oh my God!” What do we say to him? For a couple of days guys walked on eggshells. They didn’t know how to speak, they didn’t know how to approach me, too; they didn’t know how to talk to me.  It actually helped that we built a small dollhouse out of plywood to work out fire behavior and it was about two weeks after I had been diagnosed and I had already started chemotherapy and it was like the week of my first round of chemotherapy.

Wes Black:    28:34    And so we were out back doing this dollhouse and what you do is you, light one corner of the doll house on fire with some sticks and some stuff and then you open these little sliders and see how fire flows and travels through a house and it’s a way to learn fire behavior and how if you ventilate one certain window, you can actually pull fire. If you close it, you can leave it closed, you can actually trap fire.  Now it’s starting to put off a lot of smoke and the assistant chief looks me and he says, “Wesley, you shouldn’t be breathing this stuff in.” I finally looked at him and I said, “what’s it going to do, Chief give me fucking Cancer. Everybody was like, “Oh, we made a joke.” Well, we made a joke.

Wes Black:    29:12    “Oh Shit, we can make jokes.” Instantly the floodgates opened. I’ve had to take on that and granted, I do have a very serious diagnosis. At some point, cancer is going to win the fight. But it’s going to take me to the ground and I’m going to be a bloody fucking mess before it wins.  I’ve had to except that no matter what, I still have my wife, I still have my son. I still have my brothers in the fire service, in the military that these guys look at me, not as an example, but these guys aren’t used to dealing with people who have cancer. We are in the terms of like treating patients like transporting it from the home to the hospital because they’re really sick or because they’re actually dying.

Wes Black:    30:10    But these guys don’t deal with people with cancer all the time and seeing I have to put on that kind of brave face and that strong armor and be like, “Hey, you know what? yeah, sure man, I got fucking cancer, but it’s not going to fucking beat me.” And so, I’ve had to, for my sanity, for their sanity, because if they’re miserable at work, then I’m going to be miserable at work. And if I’m miserable at work, I can’t do my job. And if I can’t do my job, then I start focusing on other things.  I’ve had work as a way to distract myself from the more serious issue that I’m looking at, which has been really, really helpful.  I’ve had something else to focus my energy on besides the fact that, oh, I’m sick.

Wes Black:    31:02    I don’t have time to sit and wallow in my misery because I have to work a 24 tomorrow or Hey, I’m scheduled to work 12 hours overtime tomorrow night. I don’t have time to sit and wallow in pity; plus, I have a three year old.  My kid is always wanting to get up. He’s always wanting to run around. He wants to be outside. He wants to be at the playground. Granted, my weeks of chemotherapy, I’m not feeling great, but how do you tell a three year old that we can’t go to the park today. Like, daddy doesn’t feel good. You know, you can’t do it, you have to stand up, you have to be a man, you have to be a father or you have to be a woman.

Wes Black:    31:40    You have to be a mom and take your kid to do what your kid wants because that’s how you build good memories for your kid, in your family. So, I’ve, had to, in the sense, grow up really, really fast in that aspect of life, I have to have that mental toughness. I have to have that intestinal fortitude that even when I’m sick as fuck bro, like I could be fucking puking in the toilet and 10 minutes later my kids like Dadda outside and it’s like, yeah, Bro. Yup, Yup. Let’s go. You want to go outside? Let’s go. And I am not going to lie, I might only last five or 10 minutes, but you know, at least my kid says, Dad, come on. And it’s like, all right, let’s go buddy. You want to, you want to go outside or you want to go in your room and play trucks or you want to do whatever. I’m there too, I’m going to be there for you as your dad.

Scott DeLuzio:  So those five or 10 minutes you might last are

Scott DeLuzio:  32:40    something super funny or something whatever, has that opportunity to happen. Then that little thing that sticks in the back of his mind as he gets older, he’ll think back to remember that.  It won’t necessarily be dad just kind of crashing on the couch or in bed or whatever, because you didn’t feel like getting up.  So those types of memories are the things that will help in the future, help him to remember you in a positive light and all that kind of stuff.  I think back on childhood memories. I think that’s kind of the same for anybody. It’s good to have that foresight to see how he’s going to think about you and things like that.

Wes Black:    33:36    I write my son and email every day, or I try to every day, some days I don’t get to it because I’m not feeling great or some days, I don’t get to it because I’m just tired. But I try to write my son an email every day and the way I write it to him is like I’m sitting there having a dad talk.  I’m actually sitting at the kitchen table having a conversation with my son and I’ve tried to figure out what age that I think I want him to have access to this email account. So, I’ve spoken to my wife about it and she and I have actually talked that probably the right age would be about 14 or 15.

Wes Black:    34:22     The reason why is because I’m very blunt when I write.  You know, tomorrow is the nine-year anniversary [of Steven and Tristan’s death]. I’m going to write him an email about exactly how I feel about things that happened that day. The other days when I’ve lost friends, other days when significant events happened in my military career and my fire career.  If I have a bad call, I write to my son about it and I talk to him about it and I do that because I want my son to understand who I am. This terminal diagnosis, and I say that I could live with cancer treatments becoming more and more advanced and people are living longer and longer.  The statistics say what they say, but nobody’s fits into statistic.  I could live another four years. I could live another 10 years; I could live another 15 to 20 years. But on the off chance that I don’t live that long, knock on wood, I want my son to have a way that I communicate to him

Wes Black:    35:38    and that he knows who I am, who I was as a person. If I’m not there to teach him these lessons.  I try to tell him how that as a person, I want him to be a good person. If somebody needs help you go and help that person, you don’t kick somebody when they’re down. That’s the kind of morals and values that I want to instill in my son. Obviously, I would love to instill those in him myself, but in the off chance that I’m not able to, that’s why I use this email account as a way to talk to him and I talk about current events and I talked to him about things that are going on in the world at my time. I wrote to him and talked about Hong Kong the other day and how Hong Kong is actually going through, for lack of a better term, a political revolution.

Speaker 3    36:32    And I said that this is what freedom is for you to be able to stand up to your government and say, “no, we’re not going to, we’re not going to take you dictating to us how it’s going to be. We are the people that you represent or you are supposed to take care of, you can’t just treat us the way you do.” I use current events to talk to him about things and I try to relate messages into them. That’s the only thing that I can do to ensure that the values that I would want instilled in my son are instilled in him.  I do it through an email.

Scott DeLuzio:  37:22    I’ve heard of people who have done that before where they’ll set up an email account for their kids and they’ll just write an email to them either every day or every week or month or whatever, or anytime anything significant happens.  I think that’s a cool, cool idea to do where you can be sending this stuff. Even if you have no health problems and no terminal diagnosis or anything like that. Like you never know, you might get hit by a bus tomorrow or something.

Wes Black:  37:54    I think it’s a good idea maybe for veterans to do if they have kids and this might be a way for them to communicate with their children and explain why dad has always kind of had the boogeyman on his shoulder or dad doesn’t like crowds. Dad doesn’t like fireworks. Dad doesn’t like driving with stuff on the side of the road or dad doesn’t like to use guns anymore or whatever the reason and I say dad, but because I’m a man. But it could be the same thing for women too. It may be a way for people to be able to communicate not just as a therapy but as a way to communicate to their children.

Wes Black:   38:51   Because you can be completely honest in an email and then you don’t have to think about it for four or five, 10 years if you don’t want to. And then all of a sudden you hand it to your kid and say, “here, this is yours. I want you to read this. I want you to go through it. If you have questions, I want you to come to me.” That’s another way that I think has been very therapeutic for me because I do write exactly how I feel about things.  About the loss of my friends, about the horrible things that I saw in combat, the poverty, the famine, the horrible living conditions, the lack of education and some of the stuff that we tried to do to fix those that were met with some acceptance, some obviously graciousness,

Wes Black:  39:49    And then obviously we had some people that rejected it and met it with extreme opposition.  I don’t want my son growing up with rose-colored glasses thinking that the world is this happy-go-lucky place and that everybody gets along and nobody fights. Unfortunately, violence is a very real issue in the world. We have been very fortunate in this country that we haven’t had to deal with it on a daily basis. Countries like Syria and Iraq and Afghanistan and some of the parts of Africa and even now in South America, there’s horrible, horrible things that go on in this world. Unfortunately, a lot of, and I’m sure you see it on Facebook and Instagram I did it for the gram kind of style poses and people are more concerned with how many likes and shares and retweets they got as opposed to what’s going on around them.

Speaker 3    40:54    And, and I think Veterans can impart that unique perspective because we’ve seen that; we know how awful things can be because we’ve seen it; we’ve lived in it, we fought in it, we tried to fix it. I think that’s another reason why when we come home and there’s such a detachment for veterans between us and other civilians because we just don’t understand how I can come literally 48 hours ago, I was carrying a rifle in Afghanistan. I land, I’m happy to be home. And the first thing I do is I see this young girl driving down the street, like snapping selfies with her phone as she’s driving. “What the fuck are you doing?” She’s just doing it for the gram and we’re sitting there going, “oh my God, you don’t understand how dangerous what you’re doing is, you are literally going to kill somebody.” It’s tough because all we want to do is go over and fix the problem and we can’t, we have to be restrained. We have to, we can’t use violence and aggression like we did 48 hours ago in Afghanistan to fix a problem. We can’t use that here state side, people don’t understand.

Scott DeLuzio:    42:16    One of the things I think a lot of guys and gals that comeback feel they, like you said, they did use violence and aggression to fix problems.  Someone is approaching too close or whatever and you knock them out or you’re shoving a gun in their face and everything.  You can’t do that here. It’s just not how things work. It did work and it was highly effective, like you said, 48 hours ago or whenever or however long ago it was that you were overseas and it was a very effective method of dealing with some of these problems. But you can do those things when you get back. I think a lot of guys and ladies, when they get back, they have trouble figuring out how to deal with those problems that they see, whether they’re inconveniences or whatever the case may be, things that happened that they want to try to fix and they just don’t know how to deal with that anymore.

Scott DeLuzio:  43:23     and I think that’s, that’s kind of a problem that a lot of people end up with.

Wes Black:  43:28    Well, and I think too especially because we were infantry, like that’s what we did. And so, the way we fix problems was through sheer violence, aggression and taking things by force. That’s, that’s how we solved problems. I use the analogy of she dogs and wolves. The average person, if you will, is a sheep.  They just go about their day. They’re not really concerned with what happens around them unless it immediately affects them but they’re afraid of the wolf, right? The Wool comes in and hurts them. You can use a wolf for any kind of analogy, whether it’s a bad person or a bad event.  Who protects the sheep from the wolf? The sheep dog.  The sheep dog reminds the sheep too much of the wolf because the sheepdog has teeth the sheep dog has scars and looks kind of bloodied and mangled because what does the, sheep dog do, she thought fights the wolf, right?

Wes Black:    44:39    So in a lot of terms when we come home from combat, and I use this as an analogy as well, it’s like taking up a dog fighting dog, right? If you want to use the example of a pit bull imagine your average US infantry Grunt as a pit bull. You have trained this pit bull for nothing else. Don’t get me wrong, I love pit bulls. I think pit bulls are a fantastic breed. I’m just using them as an example. I don’t think pit bulls are a problem.  But you have trained this dog to do nothing else but fight and you’ve put it in a couple of fights and this dog has won. It has probably gotten bloodied. It’s probably gotten its ass handed to it, but it fought and that’s all it knows how to do.

Wes Black:  45:25    And then all of a sudden you take this fighting dog and you shove it back into the Kennel with all these other regular dogs and you tell it, okay, you’re done fighting. Don’t fight another dog. You can’t do that to a dog, but people expect combat veterans to come home and not try and use the skills that they needed to survive oppression, violence, intimidation, use of force. All of a sudden when we come back into state side, because 48 hours ago, that was the way we survived. Now all of a sudden, 48 hours later we’re driving down (I live on the east coast) so, I’m driving down I 95 and some fuckhead cuts me off. Well, 48 hours ago, my response would have been that dudes trying to block me into an ambush.

Wes Black:  46:24    I’m going to ram this mother fucker. I can’t do that. Now I have to use my horn, I have to maybe flip you one and then I have to maybe yell through the steering column, but I can’t physically do what my natural response would be because that’s a learned, conditioned response. I can’t do that here in the states. I think that’s where a lot of veterans run into trouble is because they can’t, once that switch is turned on, it’s very, very hard to switch that off. It takes a long time of consciously making efforts to switch it off. And once it’s switched off, I mean it only takes one incident to switch it back on full bore. It could be something small like getting cut off in traffic or I’ve had a couple of incidents like a couple of days ago I was at Best Buy and it was raining

Wes Black:  47:28    there was a woman who had parked right on the doorway because her elderly mother was in the car and she was trying to let her out.  I get it.  She didn’t want grandma to walk in the rain too far.  But she’s blocking the entire road.  I go to swerve around her and go pass and I’m sitting there going like, you’re a fucking idiot. And this woman comes around the back of the car with the Walker and raises her hand at me as if to say “what the fuck are you doing?” I had high speed come apart. I rolled my window down and said, “what the fuck?” Not the most professional thing to do.  I mean it was one of those things lady, you are blocking a lane of traffic.

Wes Black:  48:15    You are going to cause an accident because what you were trying to do while it is convenient for you, it is not convenient for 99 other people. I understand it’s your world. I’m just fucking living in it. But I would like to live in it peacefully and you’re not allowing me to do that.  I’ve had to learn to say “all right man, like you said what you said, drive away” but it’s hard to hit. It’s very hard to not like want to just go fucking bananas at somebody. I’ve had to do a lot of therapy a lot of counseling to get used to that.

Scott DeLuzio:  48:57    I’ve talked about this before where you’ll come back and you’ll see people who are bitching and complaining about their Starbucks order wasn’t right or something like that. And it’s like, who cares?

Wes Black:  Drives me crazy.

Scott DeLuzio:  But I’ve learned to look at it like this; because they don’t have worries of cars exploding next to them, because they don’t have worries of terrorists coming in and shooting up the place, or RPGs coming flying in from God knows where or airplanes flying into buildings.

Scott DeLuzio:  49:42    they can bitch about these things.  I feel because none of that bad shit is happening, they aren’t worried about those things. So, I feel like job well done!  We kept the wolf over there, going back to that the sheep dog analogy. We kept them outside of their area and they don’t have to worry about it anymore.

Wes Black:  50:11    It’s all a matter of perspective, man. Because you know, our perspective, obviously, like you said fighting that Wolf, we’ve learned that we have a different perspective. Like we would go days without a shower, right? That’s gross. It’s disgusting, you smell like, for lack of a better term, it’s more like balls and it’s not pleasant, right? Or you might’ve gone a couple of days without chow because of a convoy snafu or your convoy got ambushed and the little combat outpost you’re on didn’t get food that day or didn’t get the food delivery. Now you’re eating MREs instead of hot chow, which you know for an infantry guy that that sucks. You look forward to hot chow, you look forward to mail, you look forward to this stuff. When we don’t get it, that’s an inconvenience, right?

Wes Black:    51:02    Not Getting hot chow, that’s inconvenient. But we still had chow so we still got to eat. We didn’t go to bed hungry; we didn’t starve to death. Okay, he didn’t get mail for a couple of days. It’s inconvenient. Right? When we come home and misty in front of us gets her fucking order wrong at Starbucks and she complains because her fucking triple soy latte Macchiato is a Vente instead of a Grande, we tend to be like, “are you fucking kidding me? You have the money to be at a Starbucks and you ordered like a half caff macchiato triple soy latte and you didn’t get it right and that’s what you’re going to have a high speed come apart over. That’s your fucking moment of the day.” Huh. I see it too and perspectives of firefighting.

Wes Black:  51:54    we show up on somebody’s worst day; it could be a motor vehicle accident, it could be a fire, it could be any number of instances. But we show up on somebody’s worst day and they don’t expect two dumb fucks in a pickup truck. They expect four brain surgeons that are triathletes and x-models to show up and fix all their problems. When we’ve done these horrible incidences and really genuinely taken care of people, we get these people who come to appreciate that there are people out there that are willing to put their lives on the line to save them. It’s not that I don’t think a lot of people appreciate or don’t appreciate soldiers, fire, police law, EMS, dispatchers.

Wes Black:  53:00    But I think people have lost perspective as to what really constitutes somebody to be a hero and role model. Instead you have people like Kim Kardashian and Kanye West who have become or even, what’s the other pecker head that’s been really mouthy in the news lately?  Oh God, I can’t think of his name. He’s another Hollywood type, but they’re calling for, there’s literally too many to mention, but they’re calling for all these political actions because they think that their voice carries some sort of significance. You know, they’re crying out for justice and reform and they want all these things. l sit there and go, “what the fuck have you done for anybody other than yourself?”

Wes Black:  54:04    What the fuck have you done? You know? Okay, sure. Maybe you’ve, you’ve started a charity to help, I don’t know, Inner City kids learn music, which is a fantastic program. That’s a wonderful program. I’m not taking something away from that. But what have you done that is truly been selfless? Where have you put basically, your ass on the line to help somebody else? Instead you are trying to fix a problem by throwing fucking money at it. And that’s not how things get done. And we’re starting to see it with the programs in our government. As a veteran I, I tend to lose my mind and I get upset when people just don’t appreciate those who wear a badge, carry a rifle or carry a handgun or carry an EMT or a medic bag, or dispatched somebody to help them when they’re in trouble. Everybody takes police officers and fire and EMS in the military for granted until, guess what? It’s time for them to fucking show up at your door.

Scott DeLuzio:    55:15    Yeah. Until the guys breaking in your door or whatever because you know there’s somebody, a home invasion or something like that. Like that’s when you need the police and you know, just 24 hours earlier you were “f” the police and everything else.

Wes Black:    55:32    I get so upset because everybody thinks that the police are brutal or they’re this Gestapo kind of force that’s being utilized against the American populace. Well, they’re trying to do a job. I work with police officers every single day, man. They are people in a tough position trying to do a hard job. And I had a woman complained to me in the back of the ambulance one day about how the cop had treated her poorly or whatever. She had overdosed on heroin and she was pissed that the cops had been rude to her and she was like, “I’m going to get that mother fucker fired.” And I sat there and I was like, hold a second, just stop for a second that you’re mad because that police officer you felt was rude to you and because he stopped you from overdosing.

Wes Black:   56:36    So he gave you Narcan, right? Which took away your high. So, you’re probably pissed about that. But now you have the stones to sit here and say that you’re going to get him fired for doing his job. Well, if you don’t like it, why don’t you go to the police academy? Why don’t you become a police officer and why don’t you fix it?  She was like, why, I can’t do that?  Well then don’t argue with it. If you’re not willing to do it, then don’t sit here and tell me that the system needs to change. Well, the only way the system changes is if you get involved in the system.  Once you get involved in this company and guess what, you realize, Holy Shit, there’s a lot of people that I don’t like.

Scott DeLuzio:  57:20    Exactly. On that topic of change and everything with all the stuff that we talked about earlier with the, the burn pits and all the other stuff, what do you think the Army, the DOD, VA, whoever it should be.  In your opinion, what would be a good step for them to take to do things to prevent stuff like what happened to you from happening in the future?

Wes Black:  57:53    Boy, that’s a really good question.  Because I’ll be honest with you. I mean, and this was part of the, the stuff that I did with testifying for their legislation that Vermont did. I should say, June Heston had a letter that she had gotten a hold of that says that in 2006 to 2014 there were 14 or 19 incinerators, right? Like garbage incinerators that were shipped to Iraq specifically to burn trash, eliminate trash and reduce it or eliminate toxic pollution. None of them were used because no one knew how to install them. No one knew how to hook them up. No one knew where to put them and no one knew how to use them. So, you have these multimillion-dollar incinerator units basically sitting somewhere in an airfield collecting fucking dust because no one knew how to read the fucking instruction manual.

Wes Black:  59:04    So when somebody asked me, how do we affect change, right? I was on a little combat outpost in Afghanistan called COP Herrera and a hundred yards outside of our front gate was our burn pit. We would have the local national come in; he would collect up all the trash every day. He would take it out to the burn pit. He would throw it all in a pile, cover it all up with diesel fuel and light it on fire. And if you were the poor sucker that was standing fucking gate guard that day, guess what you did for an hour and a half; you breathe nothing but trash fumes. There was everything in there, man. All of our trash, you know how much trash Joe generates, right? He’s the only guy I know that has a brand-new computer,

Wes Black:  59:54    it gets a crack in the screen, He’s like “fuck it, I’m going to throw this away and go buy a new one.”  It gets thrown in the trash, it gets sent out to the trash bin and guess what?  It gets lit on fire and now you’re breathing in battery acid, you’re breathing in all of the medical stuff that the little combat aid station has had. If they’ve been treating patients, it’s all their biomedical waste. It’s all the food waste, it’s batteries, plastic, anything and everything that could burn metals, chemicals, right? So, we know that this stuff is like. If you imagine a structure fire, right? Because I’m a firefighter, if you imagine a structure fire, all the stuff in your home is either made from synthetic material or maybe some natural material, but it’s probably all glue board and linoleum, laminate or wood floor laminates that’s been coated with a polyurethane look.

Wes Black:  00:49     It’s all this stuff that when it burns, it puts out these really toxic chemicals. We in the fire service know that this is the stuff that’s giving firefighters Cancer.  It only magnifies and we wear protective equipment when we go into these environments. We we’re not breathing this shit in direct or trying not to. But when we were standing gate guard in Afghanistan, that’s all we had to do was stand a gate. Literally you’d be standing there choking, getting basically kicked out of the gate tower because you couldn’t breathe, you couldn’t see, your eyes were watering and your nose was running and you’re coughing because you’re breathing this shit in chemicals that are known carcinogens. So, when I say when people ask what, is there anything that we can do to change?

Wes Black:  01:40    I don’t know if there really is in countries like Iraq and Afghanistan because they don’t subscribe to the same rules and regulations that we do here in the states. Right? There is no, I never saw one single EPA agency representative in Afghanistan despite all my time.  I never saw one in Iraq either. You know, despite all my time serving in the Middle East, I never once ran into an EPA official.  The only way that these people get rid of and I say these people, I mean Iraqis and Afghans get rid of their trash as they burn it. That’s the option they have. Up until probably 60 years ago, that’s how most Americans got rid of their trash. And there’s still some, I live in Vermont now, there’s still some rural woodchucks that’s how they get rid of their trash as they bring out back to a little Holler, throw it over the bank and light it on fire because they don’t have a dump that’s quick access for them.

Wes Black:  02:41   I don’t really know if there is a genuine effective way to not expose our service men and women that are fighting in Iraq and Afghanistan and Kuwait and Saudi Arabia and the Horn of Africa. If there isn’t a way to not expose them to these really toxic chemicals, I think there are ways that we can minimize it. I don’t know if we can completely eliminate it.  Unfortunately, I really do think that that burn pit exposure is going to be our generations agent orange that we, we saw with all the Vietnam guys, right? Everybody thought that Agent Orange, the defoliant, was this great thing because it cleared out all these large swaths of land.  Do you remember the movie platoon when the guys are standing out there and the agent orange comes flying over him and they’re all standing there looking up, looking in the mist and they felt like, “Oh I feel so great?” That’s the stuff that was definitely taught.

Wes Black:  03:45    I mean it’s the same way now. Like, I have friends that I’ve made through the process of this legislation bill that are Vietnam veterans. They told me stories of how they would be sitting in the middle of the fucking jungle and KC 130 would come flying over the top of them, drop agent orange and they’d be eating a sea rat and they would get this film, this oily film from the agent orange over the top of their food in their sea rat can. And they would literally scoop it out, throw it away and continue eating. Now, we’re wondering why Vietnam veterans are dying of cancer, diabetes all these other things that most people don’t get until they’re in later stages of life. Vietnam veterans were coming home, if they had fought in the 60s in the 70s and the 80s, they were dying from Type two diabetes, the type that most people don’t develop until they’re in their late stages of life in their 50s or 60s because they’ve just been generally eating like crap.

Wes Black:  04:49    And their body can’t do it. These were young, healthy, 30-year olds that are dying of diabetes or pancreatic cancer or lymphoma or all these other conditions because of the links to agent orange and the government for years tried to deny and say it’s not agent orange. It’s not us. We didn’t do it. And the Department of Defense is doing the same thing right now with burn pits. And the reason is because they know if they admit that they are culpable for it, it would literally bankrupt the Department of Defense to treat every US veteran. Every, I should say every US combat veteran, that is, who served where these burn pits were an exposure to treat them to early diagnosis and to take care of them. It would literally, it would not only bankrupt the VA, it would probably bankrupt the Department of Defense. So, their solution is delay, deny and hope you die. Because if you die, then you don’t fight. You’re not fighting them to take care of you

Scott DeLuzio:    05:59    and it doesn’t cost anymore at that point.

Wes Black:    06:01     Exactly.

Scott DeLuzio:    06:05    It’s hard and I can definitely as a veteran who’s been over there. We had a burn pit on our FOB as well.  I was exposed to some of that stuff too.  I am on the burn pit registry that you talked about earlier. It’s hard because like what else do you do with it? They don’t have landfills there where you can send the trash off to and have it dumped in there or anything like that. It’s same way of life. What do you do? I guess the only option at that point is to just burn it. It sort of sucks. I can see from the government, whichever agency you want to point at, I can see from their point of view too, is how do they handle that?

Scott DeLuzio:  06:56    They only have so much funding and what are they realistically supposed to do?  I’m not sure; I don’t know if I have a better answer than you on that either. What people are supposed to actually do about any of that. I think taking health concerns seriously and not just writing them off as you must have a sore throat or something like that because you’re coughing all the time or whatever. To not just write it off as something minor; actually, take the time to maybe look into it and run a couple of tests that might show what someone might actually have that might be a step in the right direction at least.

Scott DeLuzio:  But that’s just one guy’s opinion, I guess. What advice would you have for somebody who’s maybe considering joining the military? Is there anything that you would have wished someone would have told you before you joined?

Wes Black:    08:14    Join the Air Force.

Wes Black:    08:16    It’s funny because I actually come from a very long line of military men on my father and mother’s sides of the family. My brother, my father and I all served.  Actually, my brother was at COP Harrera with me in Afghanistan, which never should have fucking happened; but he was, he was there.

Scott DeLuzio:  We had a couple of sets of brothers on the same base too;

Wes Black:  It never should have fucking happened after the Sullivan brothers died on the Arizona in Pearl Harbor. The US government made a law that siblings do not serve in the same assignment, let alone the same theater of operations or if they are in the same theater of operations that are under different commands. My brother being right on the same base did wonders for my parents in relieving their stress, but didn’t do anything to relieve mine or his stress because every time I would go on a mission or where he would go on a mission, one of us would be sitting in the talk, listening intently and actually it worked out negatively

Wes Black:    09:29     on the 22nd of August, 2010 when we got ambushed because my brother was sitting in the talk listening and when everything started to go down, he was kicked out of the talk by the first sergeant, thankfully. Because the first sergeant was paying attention and realized what platoon exactly it was. It was getting ambushed and told my brother because if my name came across the radio, he didn’t want my brother to find out that way.  and so, I do cherish the fact that he was on the same base as me, but at the same time, I can’t believe somebody in a chain of command somewhere, didn’t sit there and say, hold up. If I was to give advice to anybody going into the military or, well, I started to tell his story about a long line of military family, but if I was to give advice to anybody going into the military, I would say, if you truly wish to serve, if that is something that you want to do, and this is an email that I’ve actually sent to my son, I won’t ever discourage my son from serving.

Wes Black:    10:49    Like I said, my father and my brother and I served, my grandfather served during Vietnam. He was assigned state side. Unfortunately, he didn’t get to go. Well, fortunately for him, if you ask him, he didn’t deploy to Vietnam. He was assigned state side and then his father actually jumped into with 82nd and fought all the way through Europe.  I come from

Wes Black:   11:13    a very long line of military tradition on my father’s side. And My mother’s father was a P 38 pilot during the during World War II.  He had immigrated from Ireland, decided he wanted to help and joined the Royal Army Air Corps and flew P38s.  My son is not expected to serve. I don’t expect my son to join the military.  I do expect my son to serve his community in some fashion. If he doesn’t want to join the military, then that’s fine. But he should become a firefighter or a police officer or a dispatcher like he should be some other fashion of a community supporter.  I think that the only way that people can genuinely make things better is if they serve others before themselves. So, if I were to give advice to anybody going into the military, my first thing would say are you doing it for the right reason?

Wes Black:  12:23    Are you doing it because you genuinely want to be there or are you doing it because it’s your last option. If it’s your last option, then pick a skillset that’s going to give you something to do after the military.  Go in and become trained up in IT or communications or give yourself something that when you get out of the military, you have a skill set, you have training that you can then turn around and say the military trained me how to do this. I know how to do this. They gave me a skill set that gave me a way to put food on my table. If you genuinely want to be there and depending on what you want to do, if you really want to serve in a combat zone, you want to do the whole airborne, ranger, special forces, navy seal, whatever you want to do.

Wes Black:  13:14    If that’s genuinely what you want to do, then my advice would be you better take a deep hard look at what you want to do. Because those jobs, those combat operations jobs, they will hold a mirror up to you and show you exactly who you are. Combat shows you exactly who you are, you will either do fine in combat or you will fall apart. And there is no in between there.  I was very fortunate, I served with a lot of men because typically in the war, traditionally infantry is all men.  I’ve met with a lot of men that were very, very good in a firefight. I did not serve with very many that were not and that to me has been a credit of the unit, the mountain unit that I was assigned to.  I would say to somebody wanting to go in, if you really want to put your stuff on the table and measure it up, you better be ready because it’s combat; it is not forgiving.

Wes Black:  14:30    It is scary. It is intense. It is terrifying. It is hours and hours and hours of boredom and moments of sheer terror. And if you are willing to accept that and you feel like you’re ready and you can do that, then by all means, pick up a rifle and go join a combat infantry unit or a combat unit and go do the whole airborne ranger and special forces or navy seals or whatever you want to do. If you want to be that member of the elite, then that’s what you need to do. But you need to take a good, hard look at yourself before you decide, because the last thing you want to do is figure out you’re in the wrong spot in the middle of a firefight that you shouldn’t be where you are. So that is way too late at that point.

Wes Black:  15:21    Yeah. So that would be, that would be my, my, I guess, advice to somebody wanting to go in.  Is if you genuinely want to go in, I support anybody that wants to put a uniform on and serve their country. I am so proud of anybody that wants to do that because it really is a selective, rare breed of a person that wants to do it. And it’s an even smaller select, rare breed of those of us who become infantry and want to fight are combat arms and want to fight. And you know, it’s very, very enlightening. The first time you realize that the bullets are going both ways.  It’s scary the first time you realize somebody actually genuinely is trying to kill you. It’s terrifying.

Scott DeLuzio:  It’s not just a little green man on a range that you’re shooting. They fall down.

Wes Black:  16:17    The first time I ever had an insurgent blow an IED at my vehicle I was in Iraq and actually it was right about this time frame that actually it was the 20th of August in 2005. And it was the first time I ever got ambushed with an IED. And thankfully, he blew it too early. It blew in front of our vehicle by about 50 yards. A little closer, probably 25 yards but it bubbled up on the asphalt and blew a bunch of asphalt into the air and I ducked down, thankfully. Because I was in the turret, I had enough time to duck down. I didn’t get a face full of asphalt.  I was like, “Whoa, holy fuck.  Like somebody just tried to fucking kill us.”

Wes Black:  17:07    Scott Matthiessen, my squad leader looks at me and he goes, “you alright?” And I’m like,” yeah, why?” And he goes, “well, good, get up there and start fucking shit.” It’s like I finally realized like, Oh shit. Oh Shit. This is real. It’s a terrifying thought. Had that person just waited another five seconds, not even, we would have been right on top of that bomb. It’s terrifying to realize; it’s that somebody you don’t even know, like you’ve never met them, wants to kill you based off of an ideology that is genuinely scary. I don’t know if a lot of people who enlist in the military, I mean, I think they’re aware of that fact, but they’re not, they’re not ready to understand that fact. And that would be something. And you know, that’s what I’ve tried to convey to my son in emails is if you want to do this, man, you better be ready.

Scott DeLuzio    18:13    Okay. Well I think that’s great advice and great information to pass on to the future ranks of the military. The people who are maybe juniors, seniors in high school considering a military career or whatever. I think that’s great advice to have

Wes Black:    18:36    and join the Air Force because they’re way better.

Scott DeLuzio:  Yeah.

Scott DeLuzio:    18:44    Thanks for listening to the Drive On Podcast. If you want to check out more episodes or learn more about the show, you can visit our website, driveonpodcast.com.  We’re on Facebook, Twitter, and Instagram at driveonpodcast.

]]> 01:19:08 <![CDATA[Honoring The Sacrifice of SGT Steven DeLuzio]]> Tue, 20 Aug 2019 04:36:25 +0000 Scott DeLuzio https://drive-on-podcast.castos.com/podcasts/2296/episodes/honoring-the-sacrifice-of-sgt-steven-deluzio In this special episode, I am remembering the 9 year anniversary of the death of my brother, SGT Steven DeLuzio. I’m sharing memories and lessons learned from losing someone so close to me.

Links and Resources:

More About SGT Steven DeLuzio

 

Transcript

Hey everyone, thanks for tuning into the drive on podcast. Today I’m doing a special episode. Special to me anyway. 9 years ago this week on the 22nd of August 2010, my brother, SGT Steven DeLuzio was killed in action in Afghanistan. And I wanted to make sure this episode was dedicated to him and his service.

A few weeks ago I had Chris Weir on who also lost his brother in combat. One of the things Chris said was that he wanted to make sure his brother’s memory continued to live even though he was gone. I couldn’t agree more with that. I feel like the more we do to keep the memory of these soldiers alive, the better.

So with this episode, I’m going to talk a little about my brother and how he impacted my life.

My brother was about 3 years younger than me. Growing up we always had that big brother, little brother complex. We’d fight, but then get right back to playing together. Even though I had the upper hand at home and usually won our fights, outside of home we always had each other’s backs.

Steve played hockey in high school, and eventually went on to play in college at Hofstra University. While he was there he sort of fell into the wrong crowd and started to not focus on school as much as he should. His grades slipped and I think he even ended up failing a couple classes. He realized he was heading down a path he didn’t want to be going down. Late night parties and drinking replaced the studying that he should have been doing.

He came home one day and said that he wanted to transfer to a military college. The idea was that he’d get more discipline and focus there. Eventually this led to him transferring to Norwich University in Vermont. While he was there, he definitely got some discipline. His entire day was planned out for him, including early morning PT, class time, study time, meals, everything. He didn’t have time for all the other partying that he had when he went to Hofstra. Not surprisingly, his grades improved.

At some point while he was at Norwich he had talked to an Army recruiter about joining the Army National Guard. A friend of his at Norwich was already in the guard and told him all about it. He ended up joining in a delayed entry program, and went to basic training at Fort Benning, GA in the summer of 2005.

While he was in basic training, the seed had been planted in me. I knew I wanted to join the military as well, but I was in a bit of a different situation than he was. I already had graduated college and had a full time job. It sort of scared me thinking that I might get fired if I asked for a few months off to go join the Army. It turns out I didn’t have to worry about that because by law my employer couldn’t fire me for that. I didn’t know that at the time though. When Steve got out of basic training, I told him my plans and asked him to talk me out of it. I had basically made up my mind that I would join, but I wanted him to give me all the cons all the negatives to joining.

While he tried his best, ultimately he failed, and I enlisted in the CT army national guard in November 2005, just a few months after he ha...

]]> full 12 false In this special episode, I am remembering the 9 year anniversary of the death of my brother, SGT Steven DeLuzio. I’m sharing memories and lessons learned from losing someone so close to me.

Links and Resources:

More About SGT Steven DeLuzio

 

Transcript

Hey everyone, thanks for tuning into the drive on podcast. Today I’m doing a special episode. Special to me anyway. 9 years ago this week on the 22nd of August 2010, my brother, SGT Steven DeLuzio was killed in action in Afghanistan. And I wanted to make sure this episode was dedicated to him and his service.

A few weeks ago I had Chris Weir on who also lost his brother in combat. One of the things Chris said was that he wanted to make sure his brother’s memory continued to live even though he was gone. I couldn’t agree more with that. I feel like the more we do to keep the memory of these soldiers alive, the better.

So with this episode, I’m going to talk a little about my brother and how he impacted my life.

My brother was about 3 years younger than me. Growing up we always had that big brother, little brother complex. We’d fight, but then get right back to playing together. Even though I had the upper hand at home and usually won our fights, outside of home we always had each other’s backs.

Steve played hockey in high school, and eventually went on to play in college at Hofstra University. While he was there he sort of fell into the wrong crowd and started to not focus on school as much as he should. His grades slipped and I think he even ended up failing a couple classes. He realized he was heading down a path he didn’t want to be going down. Late night parties and drinking replaced the studying that he should have been doing.

He came home one day and said that he wanted to transfer to a military college. The idea was that he’d get more discipline and focus there. Eventually this led to him transferring to Norwich University in Vermont. While he was there, he definitely got some discipline. His entire day was planned out for him, including early morning PT, class time, study time, meals, everything. He didn’t have time for all the other partying that he had when he went to Hofstra. Not surprisingly, his grades improved.

At some point while he was at Norwich he had talked to an Army recruiter about joining the Army National Guard. A friend of his at Norwich was already in the guard and told him all about it. He ended up joining in a delayed entry program, and went to basic training at Fort Benning, GA in the summer of 2005.

While he was in basic training, the seed had been planted in me. I knew I wanted to join the military as well, but I was in a bit of a different situation than he was. I already had graduated college and had a full time job. It sort of scared me thinking that I might get fired if I asked for a few months off to go join the Army. It turns out I didn’t have to worry about that because by law my employer couldn’t fire me for that. I didn’t know that at the time though. When Steve got out of basic training, I told him my plans and asked him to talk me out of it. I had basically made up my mind that I would join, but I wanted him to give me all the cons all the negatives to joining.

While he tried his best, ultimately he failed, and I enlisted in the CT army national guard in November 2005, just a few months after he had finished basic training.

It was around that time that he got orders to go to Iraq. His unit was already there, and were at the tail end of an 18 month deployment. They needed a few extra bodies and Steven volunteered to go. According to him, the way his contract was set up he didn’t have to go since he was going to Norwich University, but he waived that and went anyhow. I don’t know how true all of that was, but that’s the story he gave to us anyway.

His deployment sent him to Ramadi, Iraq at the end of 2005, and into the early part of 2006. I never went to Ramadi, or Iraq, but from what I read it wasn’t a very friendly place at that time.

After Steven got back, he bought a book called The Sheriff of Ramadi by Dick Couch. It was written about the events that went on in Ramadi around the time he was there. Steven ended up writing a companion to that book that he called simply “My Side”. When the author of the book wrote about certain areas or times in Ramadi, Steven told about relevant events that he personally experienced in those places or at those times. I think that was somewhat therapeutic for him, but he really didn’t like talking about the deployment outside of that book.

While he was deployed, I was in basic training, also at Fort Benning. I started a couple months after he deployed, and as it turns out he ended up getting back home just a few days before my graduation. Any Army infantry soldier knows the significance of the blue cord that we receive. For anyone else, it is essentially a light blue cord that is worn on the shoulder of the dress uniform of infantry soldiers. You don’t get that cord until you finish your training as an infantryman. Since my brother returned early enough he was able to present me with mine at my graduation, which is something I’ll never forget.

After we all got back home my brother decided not to return to Norwich University. He would be returning into the corps of cadets, which gave upperclassmen higher rank than lower classes. He realized after being deployed into actual combat that he wouldn’t last too long having some 19-20 year old kid boss him around who never saw much more than a fist fight, never mind actual combat.

Not only that, but he wanted to be close to family. At the time, we lived in Connecticut, which was a little over a 3 hour drive away in good weather. Even longer if it was snowing, which was highly likely in the winter in Vermont.

When Steven got back from Iraq and I got out of basic training we both ended up moving out of our parent’s house and into a condo together. Obviously we lived together, but we also would do all sorts of things together. We drove to Boston on the weekends to watch Boston Bruins games. Some of those trips and the shenanigans we got into are burned into my memory. Man we had such good times.

Steven ended up transferring college one more time to the University of Hartford where he eventually graduated with a degree in Accounting with great grades. Shortly afterwards he started working at a local CPA firm in our town.

Then in 2009, both Steven and I received orders that we would be deployed to Afghanistan. It turns out that Steven didn’t actually have to deploy since he had just gotten back from Iraq. He was given the option to stay back if he wanted to. I remember talking to him about this once and being shocked that he essentially volunteered to go. He told me that he deployed with a lot of those guys already, and he didn’t want them going without him. I guess the thought was if something bad was going to happen, he wanted to be there to help as best as he could.

By mid February of 2010, I was in Afghanistan, and he followed shortly afterwards. At that point we had very little contact with each other. He was on a very remote outpost, and the FOB I was on wasn’t much better. We had internet and phone access, but it wasn’t the easiest to get onto.

Then on August 22, 2010 I was on a mission in a remote village when I got the word that he was killed. I remember when my commander told me the news he followed up with asking if I was going to hurt myself. A rational question to ask a very emotional man with a gun and a crapload of ammo.

I remember being disgusted at the question. How could I hurt myself? I had a wife and a newborn son at home. My parents just lost one son, how could I let them lose both in the same day?

Years later I reflect back on that day and that question, and realize how easily I could have decided to make a different decision. What if I wasn’t married, or didn’t have a kid? Would the pain of losing my brother – my best friend – have been too much for me? What if I didn’t have something, or someone to look forward to being with when I got home.

Then after I got home, what if I didn’t have a good relationship with my wife? What if she didn’t think to tell me to get help when she did? What if she kicked me out instead? Where would I be? Would I have attempted to self medicate, or worse?

Going back now to that question my commander asked of me “you’re not going to hurt yourself, are you?” I get it now. And I don’t want to mention names on this episode, but if you’re listening Sir, you know who you are. That had to be one of the hardest messages you had to deliver, and you did it with the utmost respect and professionalism. Never in a million years would I want to be the guy in your shoes at that moment, but you did it without hesitation. I don’t think I’ve ever said this to you directly, but thank you. I know you used to rag on me, but I knew it came from a place of love. Thank you for being the one to deliver the message the way you did. I remember you trying to comfort me by telling me that you didn’t know the circumstances, but you were sure he took a few of the bad guys out with him. In a sick way that was oddly comforting.

There were other friends who comforted me that day too, and again I’m not mentioning any names, but you guys know who you are too and I want to thank you all for that as well.

Anyway, after getting home I struggled a bit with everything that happened. Eventually I had to make a decision. Would I be angry the rest of my life about what went on, or would I honor my brother’s sacrifice and his life with the way I lived mine? I decided to choose the latter.

I ended up going to the Vet Center and getting help for my issues. That was one of the best decisions I ever made with regards to my own mental health. It wasn’t easy, but it was a tremendous relief when I finally admitted there was a problem. Like a huge weight being lifted off of my shoulders.

Listen, this is just a small part of the story. I don’t know, maybe I’ll get more into it in another episode. The moral of the story is that you need to have people close to you who care enough about you to tell you when you have a problem and will help you seek out the care you need. I needed to have someone in my life that I cared about more than myself. I couldn’t leave my wife with a newborn to fend for herself. Sure she was perfectly capable of figuring out life on her own, but I could never do that to her.

These relationships don’t just pop up overnight, so it’s important to try to cultivate these relationships before you need them. If you’re having trouble with your spouse, get help. Work on your issues. No one said it was going to be easy, but it’s a heck of a lot easier going through things together than it is going it alone.

Of the many things I learned from my brother’s death, this is one of them that really struck home with me, and I hope it helps you too.

]]> 00:21:35 <![CDATA[Air Force Veteran Turned Veteran Advocate]]> Tue, 13 Aug 2019 04:07:46 +0000 Scott DeLuzio https://drive-on-podcast.castos.com/podcasts/2296/episodes/episode-11-kim-petters Kim Petters is an Air Force Veteran, who has turned into a Veteran Advocate after overcoming her own struggles with PTSD. I wanted to have Kim on the show to talk about how she became an advocate for veteran issues.

Related Links:

Transcript

Scott    00:00 Hey everybody. This is the Drive on Podcast where we talk about issues affecting veterans after they get out of the military. I’m your host, Scott DeLuzio. And now let’s get on with the show.  

Scott    00:15 Hey everyone, thanks for joining us on the Drive on Podcast. Today we have, a friend from high school. Actually we went, we graduated high school together and, I don’t really know about you, but I don’t really want to think about how long ago that was. I start feeling old when I start thinking about how long it will go. That was but anyways Kim is an air force vet who has been involved with a lot of different causes since getting out of the air force and she’s here today to, talk a little bit about her story and, and all the things she’s been up to. So, Kim, welcome to the show. And, why don’t you tell us a little bit about yourself?  

Kim    00:57   Yeah, sure. So first, thanks for having me. Um, let’s see. So I grew up in Glastonbury, Connecticut and I joined the Air Force and I was in for 10 years. I had one deployment. I always liked to start off with, I am not a combat veteran. You know, and a lot of people are like, you know, well, how did you end up with PTSD? And, it was while I was deployed, I worked with the Human Remains missions and I kinda took that home with me and, I dunno, I, I, you know, I did everything that I was supposed to do. You know, I joined the, the military to go to school. I ended up finishing my degree in knees before I got out. You know, I had a job lined up, an amazing job. I was working with a child savings institute in Omaha, Nebraska. I transitioned right into that job day one out of the military. But you know, life threw me a few curve balls and just things got difficult. And my transition going from 10 years in the military to the civilian worlds was a rocky one to start for a few years. Actually.

Scott    02:13 Okay. Okay. And, and so tell us a little bit about the kind of, the, that, that transition kind of the some of the struggles that you kind of went through during, during that time when you were transitioning between your, your military career and, you know, trying to get into reintegrate back into the civilian world.  

Kim    02:37   Yeah. So, okay. So reintegration, so I had a job and I was working as a teacher at the Child Saving’s Institute and you know, I, I got along with everyone pretty well. There was a few girls that I met that I’m still friends with to this day. But I noticed right away that I had a hard time fitting in with the other girls. I was just, my personality I guess was, hm. I don’t know how, how do you describe it? I guess too much. I don’t know how to like, you know, I guess in the military when we talk to each other, we skip the fluff. We get straight to the point and no one’s offended by it. But in the civilian world, it’s not quite the same. And so just even that was different for me.

Scott    03:30 It’s a bit more intense when you’re dealing with a military like a veteran, you know, where like you said, you skip the fluff, you kind of just get right to the point. You don’t, you know, beat around the bush at all. You’re just going straight to whatever it is that you, you’re trying to talk about or whatever.  

Kim    03:47   Right, right. And then the way I noticed a few other small differences, you know, you know, if say we had a meeting at the end of the day and everyone had to stay 15 minutes later, you know, some of the women, I don’t mean to offend anyone, but so...

]]> full 11 false Kim Petters is an Air Force Veteran, who has turned into a Veteran Advocate after overcoming her own struggles with PTSD. I wanted to have Kim on the show to talk about how she became an advocate for veteran issues.

Related Links:

Transcript

Scott    00:00 Hey everybody. This is the Drive on Podcast where we talk about issues affecting veterans after they get out of the military. I’m your host, Scott DeLuzio. And now let’s get on with the show.  

Scott    00:15 Hey everyone, thanks for joining us on the Drive on Podcast. Today we have, a friend from high school. Actually we went, we graduated high school together and, I don’t really know about you, but I don’t really want to think about how long ago that was. I start feeling old when I start thinking about how long it will go. That was but anyways Kim is an air force vet who has been involved with a lot of different causes since getting out of the air force and she’s here today to, talk a little bit about her story and, and all the things she’s been up to. So, Kim, welcome to the show. And, why don’t you tell us a little bit about yourself?  

Kim    00:57   Yeah, sure. So first, thanks for having me. Um, let’s see. So I grew up in Glastonbury, Connecticut and I joined the Air Force and I was in for 10 years. I had one deployment. I always liked to start off with, I am not a combat veteran. You know, and a lot of people are like, you know, well, how did you end up with PTSD? And, it was while I was deployed, I worked with the Human Remains missions and I kinda took that home with me and, I dunno, I, I, you know, I did everything that I was supposed to do. You know, I joined the, the military to go to school. I ended up finishing my degree in knees before I got out. You know, I had a job lined up, an amazing job. I was working with a child savings institute in Omaha, Nebraska. I transitioned right into that job day one out of the military. But you know, life threw me a few curve balls and just things got difficult. And my transition going from 10 years in the military to the civilian worlds was a rocky one to start for a few years. Actually.

Scott    02:13 Okay. Okay. And, and so tell us a little bit about the kind of, the, that, that transition kind of the some of the struggles that you kind of went through during, during that time when you were transitioning between your, your military career and, you know, trying to get into reintegrate back into the civilian world.  

Kim    02:37   Yeah. So, okay. So reintegration, so I had a job and I was working as a teacher at the Child Saving’s Institute and you know, I, I got along with everyone pretty well. There was a few girls that I met that I’m still friends with to this day. But I noticed right away that I had a hard time fitting in with the other girls. I was just, my personality I guess was, hm. I don’t know how, how do you describe it? I guess too much. I don’t know how to like, you know, I guess in the military when we talk to each other, we skip the fluff. We get straight to the point and no one’s offended by it. But in the civilian world, it’s not quite the same. And so just even that was different for me.

Scott    03:30 It’s a bit more intense when you’re dealing with a military like a veteran, you know, where like you said, you skip the fluff, you kind of just get right to the point. You don’t, you know, beat around the bush at all. You’re just going straight to whatever it is that you, you’re trying to talk about or whatever.  

Kim    03:47   Right, right. And then the way I noticed a few other small differences, you know, you know, if say we had a meeting at the end of the day and everyone had to stay 15 minutes later, you know, some of the women, I don’t mean to offend anyone, but some of the women, you would think it was the end of their world. I mean, God forbid they had to stay 15 minutes and I can just remember, you know, working 24 hours straight. And I, I sort of thought it was a joke and I don’t know if I vocalized it or not. I’ve knowing me, I probably did. And that too creates a difference because I, oh, another thing. So that leads me to another thing I noticed in the military. We’re not offended by things. You know, we’re used to being around very, very strong personalities from all walks of life all over the world. And we laugh at each other more than anything. We don’t get offended by each other. And that was another thing that I, I really had a hard time getting used to with civilians and fitting in with them. You know, I just kind of, Oh, I don’t know. I just said I had a rocky start.  

Scott    04:49 It seems like these days people get offended by just about everything. It’s almost like you can get offended by getting offended and like so much of that going on. And, and you’re absolutely right in the military, it’s a completely different world where, you know, you can call people names and they just brushes right off of them. And it’s as if it’s just a normal part of life.  

Kim    05:12   Yeah. Yeah. Well, even just small things you don’t think of, you know, say so, say like another teacher’s late, I’ll be like, hey, you know, you gotta be on time. What do you, you can’t be here late in the military. We’d laugh at it. And in the civilian world it was like, I can’t believe she had the nerve to, I mean, I was just five minutes late. What’s the big deal? And in the military that’s like, you know, if you’re not there 20 minutes early, you’re already late. You know, I just, yeah, yeah. And I think I was just too military when I got out. I’m not sure.

Scott    05:41 Well I think in a way that’s a good thing that, that you, you kept some of that you know, because you know, things like being on time, like that’s not a bad thing. I’m never gonna say like, Oh, you’re on time much. Yeah.  

Kim    05:58   You know what I mean? That’s, that’s a good thing. Yeah. Yeah. But, you know, so, you know, I ended up, you know, it was okay, you know, there was a few, a few personality clashes, differences, whatever. But then, you know, life happens also. And I ended up inheriting two children overnight. They were my niece and nephew and both their parents passed away. And so I went from two to four children, which then made me quit the job that I had worked for to stay home. And my husband who was in school, quit school to go to work. We sold our house out in Nebraska and then we moved to across the country to be closer to family. You know, during time of family crisis you want to be closer to family and we ended up settling down right outside Dover, Delaware.  

Kim    06:47   And you know, so I just sort of put my life on hold. I think we’re really good in the military. If you’re struggling with something or something’s hard, you can really, really just put that on the back burner and literally numb it out and focus on, you know, the mission that’s in front of you. What do you have to get done? And in that case, for me, it became this family needs me, these children need me. And so that became my focus. But while that was my focus for a few years I was taking, you know, I’d gotten out of the military and I’d gotten retired out for PTSD. And so I was taking all these medications, that typical concoction, the antidepressant, the antianxiety, something to sleep, something for nightmares and you know, so  I took care of the kids. I, we, you know, my husband and I, we worked together, we got our family where we needed to be.  

Kim    07:38   Everyone’s good, everyone’s thriving. And I just turned around one day and I’m like, oh my God, I had put myself aside so much. I had pretty fledged like had my ass kicked by life. I was just exhausted. I had not reintegrated at all with the civilian world at that point because I just focused on my family. And we moved to a state where I did not know a soul. And I don’t know, I just turned around one day and I was one of those veterans on all these medications and it just, it wasn’t okay. And, so I had heard about medical marijuana and I’d heard that veterans were, you know, doing well with it. And, but for me, okay, so I’m, I’m very conservative. And to me, I thought any mother who smoked pot, like she must really be a piece of work, you know?  

Kim    08:28   And so I believed all the stigmas. I thought it was terrible, but I was desperate, right. And so I, you know, and plus the meds weren’t really working and it was just taking a toll on me. So I asked my brother in law, in New Jersey, I said, Danny, can you help me out? You think you can get me some pot, you know, because it’s working for all these other veterans. Maybe it’s gonna work for me. And, so I tried it and it literally, it worked right. Instantly. I felt better. I laughed, I was laughing. I just, you know, I hadn’t felt that good in, in, I couldn’t remember the last time. And so I was like, okay, I’m going to need you to get me more of this. And so, but because of the stigma and because it’s illegal, you know, and I’ve never broken a law.  

Kim    09:13   I’ve never been arrested. I’m like literally hiding upstairs in my bathroom with this like little bowl and this weed and I’m like, you know, I’m thinking I’m a terrible person. But meanwhile I’m like, wow, I stopped taking my anxiety medication. Wow. I haven’t needed that sleep, that ambien. I wow. I, I haven’t had a nightmare in a while. Like, you know, this is really working. And so it was like, okay, our state, we have a program, PTSD is a qualifying condition for this medical marijuana program. Let me get access. And, you know, I was, I already had the diagnosis. This should be easy. I wanted to make an honest woman out of myself. I was afraid. I was, you know, I was breaking the law and I couldn’t get access. It was just the program sucked. It was just so hard to get into the program.  

Kim    10:05   And Yeah. And so, but meanwhile, I’ve become this veteran that is completely isolated. You know, I definitely did that. I isolated for a few years and partially because of, you know, what happened in the family and they needed me, but really because the PTSD was truly kicking my ass. Those around me couldn’t tell. I was very highly functioning but I was dying on the inside. And so that’s actually what pulls me out of my shell was the fact that I found something that worked, something that helped me feel better. And meanwhile veterans are dropping like flies, like no medication has helped. No suicide prevention program has helped. But I found what helped but it’s going to require me to come out of the closet and everyone’s going to find out that I’ve been smoking pot. But it was that drive to help my veteran community that helped me come out of my shell and helped me get involved in my community.  

Kim    11:04   Helped me find those other veteran groups because again, I didn’t know a single soul in Delaware, but I was going to need help and I was going to need other veterans to help me. But how do you, how do you bring this up? How do you, how do you say, hey, we need better access to, to weed, to marijuana? You know? And honestly, if it wasn’t for my drive to want to help other people, I don’t think I ever would have came out of my shell. I don’t think I ever would’ve stopped isolating, to be honest with you, because it was really hard. It was so hard at first. Oh my gosh, you have no idea. I would even go out. So the first time I came out, I googled marijuana in Delaware and I found this group, this activist group, and that’s how I got involved.  

Kim    11:48   I went to this meeting and when I, when mind you, I mean I was really isolating for years. It had been like at least three years. And I went, I walked into this meeting and I was literally trembling. And anyone who knows me now wouldn’t even believe it, but I swear on everything. That’s the truth. I was literally trembling. I saw the one guy, his name’s Sam Chick, who is now a very good friend of mine, but I didn’t know him at the time. He looked like a veteran and I was like, I need to go sit next to him. Like just because the fact that he was a veteran, I knew I’d be comfortable around him. And so anyway so that’s how I got involved and Kinda came out of my shell and we passed that bill successfully.  

Scott    12:31 And that’s good. Like I like the way you said that how you kinda came out of your shell was that, that kind of drive to help other veterans find kind of the solution that you found. It’s that sort of going back to your military service that, that selfless service that, that you talk about you know, where you’re, you’re trying to put yourself out there in the case that it might help somebody else hopefully down the road.  

Kim    12:58   It’s exactly that, but it’s also, well, I didn’t realize at the time and all those years is that I needed a mission. You know, when you’re in the military, you’re doing important stuff. I mean, I don’t care what your job is, it’s contributing somehow to the overall mission that you have. You know suspenses you have to meet trainings this and that. You get out of the military and all of a sudden like what is it that you’re doing? What you know, crazy, powerful meaning or what, what thing is that you’re working on? And for me, helping my veteran community ended up becoming my mission. And it’s also what kind of, what pulled me out of my shell, what got me reintegrated, what, and I’ll tell you another thing for anybody that is struggling, you need to get involved with other veteran groups. You, you absolutely need to, these guys and gals have already been through it.  

Kim    13:51   They’ve already done the whole isolating, self-medicating, all that. They can help you if you can’t find a job, let me tell you. You get involved in the veteran community. They’re going to help you find employment. They are going to help you get back on your feet. And we’re all fully qualified. Every, I mean come on you. If you could do everything you could do while you were in the military, you can find yourself, you can become strong again. You can heal again and you can go on and you can find your new mission and it’s not easy and you do stumble and fall. I’ve fallen him on my face more times than I can count. But you keep getting back up and you keep trying. And I mean, now I can walk into any room and I promise you there is no trembling. You know?  

Scott    14:34 And that’s, that’s great too. Like, like when you look back on all the things that you’ve done through, through your career, your, your military career, and then, you know, obviously, you know, transitioning then into civilian career, all the things that you’ve, you’ve accomplished. And this goes for anybody really. But everything, even basic training, like when you’re in that moment, it’s hard and it’s not something that’s easy that’s just happening and it’s not fun and everything like that. But it’s hard and you struggle through it and you can look back on it and say, you know, that’s something I’m proud of. And you can do that with other things too. Now that you’re out you can go and learn a trade or, you know, learn a new skill or whatever to get a job. It doesn’t necessarily have to be the thing that you did in the military.  

Scott    15:21 There’s, you know, I was infantry, there’s not too many infantry jobs around, so I’m not going to do that same thing. Right? It’s translatable. Like, in terms of the effort that went into the training, put that same effort and go through a little bit of that suck and you can look back, you know, a year or two later and say like, Gosh, I did all that. I like, that’s something to be proud of. And then that’s that thing that can help drive you to the next, you know, to your next career or, you know, whatever it is that you end up doing it. Yeah. Yeah, yeah. Absolutely. Yeah. So, so tell us a little bit about some of the, you’ve mentioned some organizations maybe that you were kind of involved in and other groups that you, you have kind of kind of worked with. Tell us a little bit about that.  

Kim    16:12   Yeah, so I kind of work with all groups. So I am not a cannabis advocate. I am a veteran advocate and so I will work with different, different groups, different orgs and different people working on different legislation as it pertains to veterans. So firearms is something that, you know, a lot of veterans are big on Second Amendment rights. So I work with everyone from local, grassroots groups here in Delaware to more recently I just got back from DC. It was a project, it was called the DC Project. And it was 50 women, one from each state going to DC and putting a different face on firearms and, those who are for firearms, you know, there’s so much, so much legislation coming out, chipping away at those rights and we’re there to say, hey, look, you know, we’re not the traditional gun nuts and to break stigma and kinda share our experience with firearms. 

Scott    17:15 Sure. And you had so that was just a few weeks ago that you went to to DC and you spoke with, you know, legislators and, and other people, in DC. But, recently on Facebook, you shared a story of, your time while you were deployed, kind of going off base with another, another airman I believe was, was the story and a few of the, the, the local nationals who kinda went along with you on a journey. Would you mind sharing a little bit of, of that story as well and how that sort of kind of relates to the firearms debate? 

Kim    18:04   Oh yeah, absolutely. Okay. So, so while I was deployed, I was deployed for TCN duty and that was to guard third country nationals that was supposed to be and still actually was my main job, I wore a few hats when I was out there. And so one day our job was simply, we were going to follow these third country nationals. There was two of them. And we were going to follow them off base to a cement factory and it was really simple. All we had to do was make sure it was cement that they were putting into the trucks and not weapons or explosives, you know, because we don’t know if these TCNs are good guys, bad guys or whatever. And so we went and it was, it was in the middle of nowhere. And you know how it is when you’re deployed, you can drive for miles and miles and miles and miles and not see anyone or anything.  

Kim    18:53   And so it was an outdoors cement factory. I had never been to one of those. The whole place was empty except for four other men were there waiting for us. So it was me, my partner, the two third country nationals we were with and the four men we met there and I, I couldn’t understand their language. They couldn’t understand mine. It didn’t matter. We had a job to do. And so they backed the trucks up to this like big long hose that empties all the cement, like a big tube that empties all the cement to the truck and it’s Kinda a little bit of a time consuming process. And I don’t really remember how long, but it’s, you know, you sit there and you wait for the trucks to fill up for a little while. And so my partner, he’s like, hey, he’s like, I gotta go use the bathroom.  

Kim    19:37   And I’m like, are you serious dude? Like, okay, all right, fine, whatever. Go. And as soon as he turns the bend, it’s this big cement like building. As soon as he turned around, the six men literally circled around me, each of them, ah, I don’t know, maybe like 20 feet away from me circled around me and I was like, what is happening? And so they all started moving in on me. No one said a word. They all started moving in on me, like kind of like closing in on me all at the same speed and I was not taking any chances. I pulled my M-16 right around my shoulder. And you know what’s crazy? I never even had to point that at one of them. Really. As soon as I pulled it around and I got in position and I got my finger ready to be on that trigger or if need be, and it was Kinda, you know, I, I had it kind of pointed at the ground in front of me.  

Kim    20:34   Literally at that moment, they all put their hands up immediately. We didn’t understand each other’s language, but they understood that. So I line them all up and I waited for my partner to get back. Who by the way, took forever because when he was done, he just stayed over there to chill for a little while. So I’m like standing here with the six men, like waiting. So he comes back around, he’s like, oh, hey, are we done? Yeah. I’m like, Oh my God, you gotta be kidding me, right? So whatever. So everything was fine. We get back. I never ended up going on one of those missions again anyways, but I do, I do know this that day, the only thing that saved me was the fact that I had that M-16 with me. I do not know what they were going to do, but that was, I don’t, I have no idea, but, and there was no one else around. I mean we were in the middle of nowhere and so, no, so, you know, so you have someone like myself who I’ve, I’ve been in the military, I have a pretty little green ribbon. I’ve shot marksman sharpshooter different branches, call it different things. You know, trained by the Department of Defense, the DOD, yet I get out of the military and because I choose medical cannabis, medical marijuana, I cannot have a firearm. You cannot legally purchase possess or carry a firearm. Right,  

Scott    21:58 Right, exactly. Yeah. And even on, on the, the form too, like when you purchase a firearm, one of the questions, I actually pulled up the form here cause I had a feeling this was going to kind of come up in this conversation, but the, so on the form it says are you an unlawful user of or addicted to marijuana or any depressant, stimulant, narcotic drug or any other controlled substance which, you know, so that question, that would be one of those questions like, okay, yet, so technically it’s a yes.  

Kim    22:30   Well it is a yes because it’s the federal government asking. And so even though I have a medical marijuana card, I’m following doctor’s orders or I’m following state laws, it is the one medication in the entire world where you lose your second amendment rights  

Scott    22:47 For example, like I had a surgery after getting out of the military on my knee and the doctor prescribed me Oxycontin, which is considered a controlled substance under federal law. But I think the key word in that whole line there is, are you an “unlawful” user is that key phrase there. So because it was prescribed to me and under, you know, the regulations from, from the, you know, federal and state laws and everything like that, it was okay. I still could technically own a gun at that point, but it’s still considered a controlled substance, just like, you know, marijuana is, is considered. So, I, to me, I see a little bit of a kind of disconnect there in terms of how the law is written and everything like that.  

Kim    23:36   Right. Well, certainly, and so for me it’s frustrating because had I stayed on those anti-anxiety pills, those antidepressants to sleep meds, the nightmare meds, I could keep my right to bear arms, you know, so, so anyways, so then, so still, but because I am a law abiding citizen, I do not own a firearm. I do not carry a firearm. And so last year I was in downtown Dover and it was broad daylight and I asked a man, I’m on my way back to my car. I parked at a firehouse a fire station. I thought, that’s a you know, safe place, you know, police, fires. And I asked the man, I said, hey, do you, do you see tow trucks around here very often? You know, trying to find out that’s a good place for me to park in the future. And he’s like, no, I don’t see any around here.  

Kim    24:26   I’m like, okay, well great, thanks. And so, you know, I turn and I, I go to walk back to my car and I’m about halfway through the parking lot and the man is following me. Well, he grabbed me, he literally put his entire, like his arms around me and grabbed me. And so I pushed him back and I yelled a few things and he laughed at me. He literally laughed at me like, almost like, what are you going to do little girl? I mean I, what do I weigh? 120 pounds. And He, and he almost, he lunged back at me except there was a police officer or right across the parking lot on a bicycle. And he saw the cop and I saw the cop and I looked at him and he like, at that moment I had decided I actually wasn’t going to make a thing out of this.  

Kim    25:09   And I don’t know why I didn’t, but I didn’t. And I just looked at him and I said, you’re lucky. But then when he left, I did tell the police officer, I, you know, when I was leaving I said, hey, that guy, you know, or, I said, hey, a man just grabbed me bla bla bla. And he turned around and saw the guy still and he said that guy. And I said yes and I, I or no, I didn’t answer. And I just didn’t want to start a thing. Like I knew that this was going to turn into a thing and I just didn’t want to do anything about it. But what really upset me was if that police officer had not been there, I don’t know what would have happened to me because that man had just come out of a house that he could have easily dragged me back into and nobody would’ve known I can’t have a firearm to protect myself because I choose the safest medicinal option out there.  

Kim    26:00   You cannot overdose on cannabis. It is not. It is not addictive it I am not going to wake up the next day and not remember what happened yesterday. It’s not like that I’m not going to wake up groggy the next day and I don’t want to take the pills that do all that stuff, but because of it, I can’t have a firearm when I’ve already been deployed and learned how that firearm truly can save me. I don’t have that option back here on American soil when, what’s crazy is I’m a veteran that fought to protect and defend the Constitution of the United States. 

Scott    26:44 And the crazy thing is you probably have more training than a lot of the people who do carry a firearm. Regular civilians who do choose to carry a firearm. So you’d probably have a, you know, more training, more experience, more, you know, trigger time and everything like that. And the thing is like, so your story back when you were, you were deployed where you pulled your, your rifle and you know, the guys kind of backed off and everything immediately. It basically immediately. But to me like some people may get hung up like, oh, of course you’re like you pulling an M-16 on somebody they’re going to back off. But you know, like that to me, you can replace that with any gun, you know, whether it was a pistol or a shotgun or a rifle. To me it doesn’t really matter. Like it’s the same thing. You pull a gun on someone, they’re there. If they have two brain cells in their head, they’re probably going to back off. Yes. And if not, that’s the reason why you have it is to.

Kim    27:39   In case I need it. That’s right. That’s right. And part of my problem with this too is you know, a lot of veterans. So I see a lot of veterans struggling and because of my involvement with cannabis and PTSD and firearms, I hear from a lot of veterans, they share their stories with me and I cannot even express to you how many won’t get a card because they don’t want to give their, give up their right to bear arms, which in turn makes them one have to stay on the pills to choose to buy it illegally, which on the street you don’t know what you’re getting or if as mold or mildew in it it’s just not exactly a medicinal way of life. Or three, they say, screw it, I’m going to have both. And now you have this veteran facing a felony charge because they got pulled over and they have both. And that’s a very serious charge. That’s enough to make any veterans life spiral out of control. I mean, you know, our statistics, our are our divorce rates, our homelessness rates, our unemployment rates. And now you wanna throw in charges, you know? Exactly.  

Scott    28:44 Sorry. That’s just stacking the odds against, you know, the, that particular veteran,  

Kim    28:49   Then, you know, it becomes a downward spiral and it happens. It happens. I mean more than we know and you know, so there is a bill at the federal level to change this and make an exemption for patients. And that’s HR 2071. Let me just throw that out there in case anyone wants to go ahead and call their state, you know, elected their state congressman, congresswoman, and tell them to support this bill because there is no other medication where you lose your right to bear arms. It’s not right. It’s not right for me. It’s not right for anybody. It’s not right for the cancer patient who just wants to use, you know, cannabis to help them get through chemo. They what now they lose their rights to defend themselves. You know, it’s just, it’s not right  

Scott    29:33 At a time when they’re, they’re probably more frail and probably need that, that little bit of extra, you know, protection, you know, should something, you know, similar to the situation that happened with you, you know, come up. You know, they should have that ability, but they should also have that ability regardless to defend themselves. It is a constitutionally protected, right, you know, and that shouldn’t be taken away. You know, provided that you’re doing everything right, you’re following your doctor’s orders and everything like that. And which, you know, to me it seems like that’s kind of what you’re, you’re doing in this situation. So, I, sorry, I, I see where, where all of this is coming from and I could definitely see how that, how it can help other veterans and not just other veterans but other, you know, Americans who are, are going through similar situations where they, they, between them and their doctor they decided that this is the, the right course of action.  

Scott    30:32 But because of what’s going on at the federal level, they, they end up not being able to do it fully or you know, having to make a choice. Like, do I give up my right to bear arms or do I give up this medical treatment that you know, my doctor suggested might, might be helpful in my particular circumstance. So it’s, it’s a it’s interesting how, how all this works and I’m, I’m very interested to see how it will end up flushing out, you know, in the, in the long run once when you know, some of these bills go through, Congress and everything to see how that ends up working out. 

Kim    31:16   Yeah, the, you know, the odds are definitely stacked against us. But I’ll tell you the two most supportive groups are veterans and police officers, police officers. Isn’t it interesting they’ve been one of the largest, the biggest groups to reach out and that have been, you know, reaching out as constituents and saying, Hey, pass this bill. I mean, that’s just, I, I never expected that, but I, I mean, I guess it makes sense. You know,  

Scott    31:44 They sort of see, you know, firsthand you know the pros and cons of, of a lot of the situations and you know, maybe they, maybe they’re onto something there, you know.  

Kim    31:58   Well, you know, and I think oftentimes they’re the ones that show up and it’s a crime scene, you know. So right now we have a situation in my neighborhood and I live in a beautiful development and it’s, you know, used to be a really safe place. I’m not sure exactly what’s happening, but lately there have been a lot of break ins. I was the most recent one where someone broke into my garage. While my family was inside sleeping and rummaged around, well, we don’t have town police, Delaware. This town just doesn’t have the resources. All we have are the state police who only after you make a call, it’s not like they can be here patrolling through. It’s not like they can help be a deterrent. Our community, our development, we are literally left to defend ourselves. Let me tell you how many people in my development also have cannabis in their homes. You know, it’s a very, it’s a large fraction. And those people, nor should myself lose their right to bear arms, especially in a situation like this where police officers, the only thing they can do is respond  

Scott    33:10 Afterwards, after the fact. Right. Or the fact that’s the key is you’ve already been either robbed or mugged or worse. Who knows who, yeah, exactly. Right. So then they show up.  

Kim    33:26   Right, right, right. And so, you know we actually were able to pass a bill here at the state level that just a few weeks ago it passed our state Senate unanimously. That restores firearms rights to those who have medical marijuana cards by unfortunately all it does at the state level is make it so that no one’s going to get arrested. We can’t change federal forms if someone can’t be, whether this bill passes all the way through and get signed by the governor or not it’s not gonna make someone like myself be able to walk into a gun shop and, and still be able to purchase a firearm and that’s the problem. And that’s why it’s got to get changed at the federal level for all Americans, you know.  

Scott    34:10 So, yeah. Understood. Yeah. So it looks like we’re kind of coming up on a time here. We’ve been talking about all this kind of great stuff that you’ve been involved with and sort of your journey. One question I like to ask to kind of round off the conversation and, and this, this question, you can, you can answer it seriously, answer it, you know, with a joke or whatever combination of the two, whatever, whatever you want, but is there anything that you wish someone would have told you before you joined the military? Any advice or you know, stuff like that, or things that you discovered after the fact after you joined the military? Like, Gosh, I wish someone told me this so I didn’t have to struggle through, you know, something or whatever.  

Kim    34:56   Yeah, actually there is, so we’ll maybe not necessarily told me before I joined, but I wish someone would have told me before I got out that part of the reason the transition is so hard is because when you’re in the military, you’re surrounded by people who, you know, essentially become your family. I mean, you work together, you eat together, you sleep together, you are all the way from your families back home. So you become each other’s family and, and when you get out, it’s not like that in the civilian world. Friends. I mean, sure you can have good friends, but it’s not the same. You don’t have that family unit surrounding you. And that in itself can be a huge culture shock. And I think that actually greatly contributes to, you know, when veterans aren’t prepared for that or don’t even consider that happening.  

Kim    35:48   It, it’s really hard. I mean, especially if you don’t have a strong family unit that you’re returning to. You know, for me, the military was my family and when I got out, you know, I was kind of on my own again and that definitely helped me stumble and fall plenty of times. You know, but if you keep getting that, getting back out there, you find a way, you start making friends again and, and, and you find a new family quite frankly on top of their own little one, you may have yourself. So I, you know, I never thought I would get back to feeling better. I never thought I would come this far. I wouldn’t have believed anyone if they would have told me that it does get better, but it really does. It really does. You just gotta try. You gotta keep getting out there. It may get worse before it gets better. Oh, well, just, just keep trying, do it for yourself. Do it because there are so many more good moments in life to have and you deserve it.  

Scott    36:44 Absolutely. Yeah. I totally agree. And I, I, I love that, that, that little bit of advice there in terms of how everyone kind of comes together as a family, especially, you know, on a deployment where you don’t have access to, you know, call home every day or, or whatever. You kind of have to lean on each other and, and be each other’s Kinda support group. And we have a strange way in the military of supporting each other, you know, you might, yeah, you might, you know, call each other names and things like that and, just in a way joking around, but you know, it’s coming from a place of love. Like, yeah, you guys are all in it together. You you mean, well you may may call someone something cause they they screwed up or whatever but, but you know, it’s like, alright, I get it like this, this guy or gal or whatever, is they got my back  

Kim    37:38   Through it through anything through, through the craziest, craziest situations. You’ve got each other’s back and exactly. And when you get into the civilian world and you realize it’s not quite the same. Ah, ah, it’s like almost heartbreaking to be honest with you.  

Scott    37:55 It is. And the strange thing too about all of that is like anyone who’s ever been in the military has also been a civilian before being a veteran. And so it’s almost like we should know this but don’t want to get retrained. We get retrained in our brains. Like this is how life is now. And then we get out and it’s like, wait, no, that’s not true. It was like this, but now it’s something else. But it’s something else that it was, you know, five, eight, 10 years ago, 20 years ago when, you know, before you got into the military. And yeah, it’s crazy how that all works. But if you’re that type of person who is sitting there thinking like, Gosh, the civilian world is just so foreign and weird and everything, like you’re not alone because we all kind of feel that way.  

Scott    38:47 I felt that way for the longest time too. And, you know, it’s, yeah, it’s bizarre how that works. But yeah. Well, one last thing before we wrap this up. You actually mentioned this, last week when we were talking about having you on the show. And you said that tomorrow, actually at the time of this recording, we’re recording on July 31st, but tomorrow, August 1st is the anniversary of Sergeant David Coullard’s passing. Sergeant David Coullard is also from, from Connecticut. He was a marine. And just a real brief, info about him. I’m just gonna kind of read off of his, his website. They have a memorial fund set up for him at, http://www.sgtdavidcoullard.com/. On August 1st, 2005 in a small village northeast of Baghdad, Sergeant David Coullard was part of a six man marine sniper unit on the outskirts of Haditha, if I’m saying that pronouncing that correct correctly.  

Scott    39:49 They were ambushed by a large insurgent force and all members of their unit were killed. The Organization of the Sergeant David Coullard Memorial Fund was born out of this tragic event and, and their pledges to never forget. If you happen to be in the Connecticut area, and you’re listening to this on Friday, September 13th, 2019 this year, they are having a memorial golf tournament to, kind of fundraise for this, this fund that supports, veterans and other veteran organizations and bunch of, of good stuff like that. If you can’t attend the golf tournament, they do have a donation form on the website there. So you can, contribute to the fund if, if that’s something that you’re interested in. It looks like it is a, nonprofit tax deductible, type type thing too.  

Scott    40:43 So if, if that’s what you’re into you can certainly do that at http://www.sgtdavidcoullard.com/ and I’ll, I’ll link that in the show notes too after we’re done recording here, but, just wanted to, Kinda pay a little bit of a tribute to him and make sure that his memory kind of lives on in, in our own little way here with this, with this episode. So, thank you for, Kim for having that great idea, to, kind of incorporate him with this episode. And, you know, we’ll have his, memory Kinda live on a little bit longer through, through this. 

Kim    41:19   That’s right. It was, August 1st, 2005 is when that happened. And Coullard was awesome. He was actually, I was friends with him. He is actually the one who convinced me to join the, he was trying to, yeah, he was trying to get me to go marines, but I was too scared to chicken shit. And I’m so I went air force instead, but he is the person who convinced me to join.  

Scott    41:49 Wow. That’s awesome.  

Kim    41:50   Yeah.

Scott    41:52 Wow. Anyway, so that is your story is a, is is great. I love how you know, you opened up and shared about all that and, and I think, you know, hopefully that gives a lot of other veterans, some inspiration to, to say, you know, things do get better. It’s not a always going to be a struggle. Like you might be struggling right now, but there are better times coming if you can just get over this hurdle and get, get through that. And so I loved, how are you, you know, we’re able to share all of that, so, so thank you for that, Kim.  

Kim    42:28   Yeah, absolutely. Absolutely. And thank you for having me on.  

Scott    42:32 Absolutely. All right. And so that is the Drive on Podcast and you can get more information about this episode in the show notes at driveonpodcast.com And in future episodes we’ll be coming out with interviews with other veterans like Kim and hopefully you’ll tune in and subscribe. Thank you.  

Scott    42:56 Thanks for listening to the Drive on Podcast. Do you want to check out more episodes or learn more about the show? You can visit our website, driveonpodcast.com we’re on Facebook, Twitter, and Instagram at driveonpodcast.

 

]]> 00:43:20 <![CDATA[A Gold Star Brother on Loss and Legacy]]> Tue, 06 Aug 2019 04:43:07 +0000 Scott DeLuzio https://drive-on-podcast.castos.com/podcasts/2296/episodes/episode-10-chris-weir Chris Weir is a Gold Star brother, who lost his brother David in Iraq. I wanted to have Chris on the show to discuss what he experienced in losing his brother, and how he eventually made the decision to follow his brother’s path and join the 101st Airborne where his brother previously served.

Chris talks about how his community pulled together during his family’s most difficult time. He describes the loss of his brother as a strange feeling of devastation and pride.

Links and Resources

Transcript Scott 00:00 Hey everybody. This is the Drive on Podcast where we talk about issues affecting veterans after they get out of the military. I’m your host, Scott DeLuzio. And now let’s get on with the show.
Scott 00:14 Thanks for joining us on the drive on podcast today. We have friend Chris Weir uh, who actually we met through my wife who was on the show last week and she was Chris’s real estate agent when he moved out to Arizona and, uh, Chris served in the military and Chris and I both share a similar story, um, to some extent. Um, both of us lost our brothers, uh, in, combat. And I brought Chris on the show because I kind of wanted to hear his side of, of everything because at the time. Unlike me, he was not serving in the military and, uh, I wanted to see how his brothers, uh, what happened with his brother has affected his military career and, and other things throughout his life. So, so Chris, uh, you know, welcome to the show and, tell us a little bit about yourself, you know, where, where are you from and all that.
Chris 01:14 Thanks for having me, Scott. Appreciate it. So I’m originally from a small little town called Chattanooga, Tennessee in southeast Tennessee, Georgia, Georgia border, um, born and raised there. And, um, when I, uh, grew up right and graduated high school, went on to a college in Nashville and then, uh, being around a few different places, lived in Ohio for a little bit. Um, but now we are here out in Arizona. Um, I’m married, have two daughters, therefore I’m bold. They are both, uh, teenagers. So my oldest is 16, my youngest is 14, and, and, uh, I have no hair to prove it. So, um, so yeah, that’s a, that’s basically, yeah, me in a nutshell.
Scott 01:57 Sure. Yeah. So, so let’s, let’s jump right in. Let’s start talking about, you know, when, when you joined the military and Kinda the, the circumstances surrounding that, um, you know, everything that happened kind of with your brother, how that happened. And then, then what influenced your decision to join the military?
Chris 02:16 Yeah. September of 2006 was when my brother was killed in Baghdad. And so I had always, I had always wanted to join the military. It was something that I always wanted to do pretty much every my father, his father, his father, his father, father, father, you know, all down the line. Um, everybody had served. And, and then of course my brother as well. So I was always struggling with the idea of when I got older, sitting on the front porch with my grandkids, not being able to tell them, you know, a story about being in the military and serving my country. So, um, it was something that had been on my mind for many years. I was getting older at that time, at least older, not compared to today, but at that time I was getting older for joining the military anyway. And I was, I was knocking on thirty’s door and so Se...]]> full 10 false Chris Weir is a Gold Star brother, who lost his brother David in Iraq. I wanted to have Chris on the show to discuss what he experienced in losing his brother, and how he eventually made the decision to follow his brother’s path and join the 101st Airborne where his brother previously served.

Chris talks about how his community pulled together during his family’s most difficult time. He describes the loss of his brother as a strange feeling of devastation and pride.

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Transcript Scott 00:00 Hey everybody. This is the Drive on Podcast where we talk about issues affecting veterans after they get out of the military. I’m your host, Scott DeLuzio. And now let’s get on with the show.
Scott 00:14 Thanks for joining us on the drive on podcast today. We have friend Chris Weir uh, who actually we met through my wife who was on the show last week and she was Chris’s real estate agent when he moved out to Arizona and, uh, Chris served in the military and Chris and I both share a similar story, um, to some extent. Um, both of us lost our brothers, uh, in, combat. And I brought Chris on the show because I kind of wanted to hear his side of, of everything because at the time. Unlike me, he was not serving in the military and, uh, I wanted to see how his brothers, uh, what happened with his brother has affected his military career and, and other things throughout his life. So, so Chris, uh, you know, welcome to the show and, tell us a little bit about yourself, you know, where, where are you from and all that.
Chris 01:14 Thanks for having me, Scott. Appreciate it. So I’m originally from a small little town called Chattanooga, Tennessee in southeast Tennessee, Georgia, Georgia border, um, born and raised there. And, um, when I, uh, grew up right and graduated high school, went on to a college in Nashville and then, uh, being around a few different places, lived in Ohio for a little bit. Um, but now we are here out in Arizona. Um, I’m married, have two daughters, therefore I’m bold. They are both, uh, teenagers. So my oldest is 16, my youngest is 14, and, and, uh, I have no hair to prove it. So, um, so yeah, that’s a, that’s basically, yeah, me in a nutshell.
Scott 01:57 Sure. Yeah. So, so let’s, let’s jump right in. Let’s start talking about, you know, when, when you joined the military and Kinda the, the circumstances surrounding that, um, you know, everything that happened kind of with your brother, how that happened. And then, then what influenced your decision to join the military?
Chris 02:16 Yeah. September of 2006 was when my brother was killed in Baghdad. And so I had always, I had always wanted to join the military. It was something that I always wanted to do pretty much every my father, his father, his father, his father, father, father, you know, all down the line. Um, everybody had served. And, and then of course my brother as well. So I was always struggling with the idea of when I got older, sitting on the front porch with my grandkids, not being able to tell them, you know, a story about being in the military and serving my country. So, um, it was something that had been on my mind for many years. I was getting older at that time, at least older, not compared to today, but at that time I was getting older for joining the military anyway. And I was, I was knocking on thirty’s door and so September came around, David was killed in Iraq.
Chris 03:16 Um, that whole event is, as you know, um, is just, uh, it’s a, it’s a crazy situation. It’s just so very different than, than, uh, losing a family member, you know, to health issues or even a car crash or something. Not to say that it’s any easier necessarily because it’s certainly not in any circumstance to lose anyone, but I mean just little things like how long it took for them to get his body back to the states. Right. Because it has to go through Dover and, and the whole nine. And so we were sitting around the town in our town happened to be and, and still is today and incredibly patriotic town. Very, very patriotic. So during that whole time we had, and at that same time to add to the whole, the, the situation was that a silly little group out of Kansas had threatened to come protest at my brother’s funeral. So we had, you know, a security posted at our house. I mean, we had police escorts everywhere. Obviously the community members of the community constantly dropping by. Members of the press and the media were always around. Um, and I got promoted to family spokesperson.
Scott 04:37 I was actually kind of wondering about that because that was very similar to what happened to us as well. I came home from Afghanistan and landed at the airport. There was a state police officer there with my family who said, you know, we’re gonna take you around, kind of like the back way out so that you can avoid all the news vans that are waiting for you at the airport. Right. How they knew I was coming that day and at that time was like, I had no idea. But when we got ended up getting to my parents’ house there, news vans lining up the street and everything like that.
Chris 05:07 it’s a weird, it’s a weird thing to deal with. I mean, it’s like, I mean, literally one day you’re just a Joe blow going about your day. Yeah. And then the next day, literally the next day it’s news interview after news interview. Hundreds of community members coming by. People you don’t even know. I mean, people, I’ve never even met all the politicians on the local state and even the federal level coming into visit and, and pay their condolences and all of it’s awesome. I mean, that was so appreciated. I mean, it was like, wow. I mean, all of you were moved this much by the sacrifice my brother made. I mean, that’s really incredible. We were talking the other day and I shared with you, it’s kind of this, this weird place where you’re stuck between devastation and pride. It’s, you’re just completely devastated that you just lost, you know, and I had just lost my brother, um, who, who was my best friend and was my brother.
Chris 06:03 We were the closest in age. And, um, and I mean, I’ve literally talked to him before we went out on a mission. We talked over the phone before he went out on that, that last mission. And, and so, I mean, we were very, very close and so devastated by losing him, but at the same time, so dang proud of what he did. And so freaking proud of how the community stood up. And you know, I mean, even these protestors, they flew into Chattanooga and none of the taxi companies would give them a ride. So they couldn’t even leave the airport, they couldn’t get away from the airport. They got stuck. I mean, is that not the most incredible thing? I mean, great. That is absolutely awesome. So, yeah, I think that that whole deal a month, two months, maybe three months after that, it really started sinking in for me that it’s now or another, it wasn’t his death that motivated me to join because again, I’d always wanted to, but it was kind of that kick in the butt.
Chris 07:00 I needed to finally, finally, uh, get up and go do it. Yup. Um, so I actually, I went in, he was killed in September. I went in, um, I believe it was December. I went in into the recruiter and, uh, said, you know, I wanna I want to join up and do the deal. And of course the recruiters knew who I was, you know, and they wouldn’t let me join. Um, so they, they said, no, it’s, it’s too soon. Um, you have to wait. So I had to wait until the next summer. They were, they literally just wouldn’t let me join. Have you ever heard a recruiter turn someone away? You know, so that was the first. I know, it’s like an amazing thing. Now that I’ve been through the military, it’s like, holy crap, I didn’t, I don’t think that ever, usually it’s just, can you fog the mirror?
Chris 07:43 But, um, but anyway, so, so yeah, I had to wait, um, until the summer and, and then finally the next summer, um, I, uh, I shipped off to basic and, uh, it was tough. I mean, it was tough, more tough on my family. It wasn’t really, I mean, I knew, because obviously we’re in, could we think we’re in control of ourselves at least. So I wasn’t, I didn’t have the fears necessarily, but I mean, obviously my mother, my wife, um, my daughters were very young at that time, so it wasn’t really sinking in with them. They didn’t really grasp everything that was going on. But, uh, but definitely the rest of my family did. Um, some of them weren’t happy with me, you know, that I had joined. They were all supportive, obviously, but, uh, but certainly not happy that I made that decision. So, so yeah, it was a, I think it was July is when I shipped off to fort lost in the woods, misery.
Chris 08:35 Um, Aka Fort Leonard Wood there. But, uh, but yeah, I did my basic training in the middle of the summer up in, uh, up in Missouri and, and went down to San Antonio for a little bit for, um, combat medic training and then on to Fort Lee, Virginia, and then eventually got stationed at Fort Campbell in Kentucky, the hundred and first. In fact, David, I don’t even know if I’ve mentioned his name. David is my brother’s name, but, um, he was actually stationed exactly where I was, so I wasn’t able to get into this unit because I came in as a supply sergeant and they already had one, so I didn’t get his unit. But, um, he was there at Fort Campbell, that’s where he was stationed. So I got to hang around all, all the guys that he was with.
Chris 09:25 Um, there was, it was good in that there was some bad, you know, bringing up memories, bringing up stuff that I didn’t want to think about necessarily. But, um, but it was nice to be around those guys. They all look out for me and they were all younger than me. It was funny, but that’s what they were all looking out for me. So, you know, or at least they thought they were. I let them think that.
Scott 09:48 So when we talked the other day and you, you mentioned that your, your family and yourself have a, uh, a goal of like basically not letting his memory kind of kind of try and hopefully, you know, with this, this helps a little bit, you know, it was this podcast episode or um, you know, but what were some of the things that your family and your, you have done to keep his memory alive? Were there stories that were told? Were there, uh, you know, organizations that were, you know, you know, serviced or, you know, whatever, um, what were some of those things that you guys did?
Chris 10:15 Yeah, so very early on we made the decision that, um, that we did not want to shy away from sharing his story. You know, there’s a lot of families that make the decision and I totally understand that decision to be perfectly honest with, but, but some make the decision, they don’t want to talk to the media. They’re just, it’s a private affair and they’re going to deal with it with their own family and internal. And that’s it. And I totally get that. We made the decision though that, that, um, and, and I think in part, probably because of how we were raised, um, and the community that we lived in our whole life, just being so patriotic, um, that it was just kind of how we did things.
Chris 11:09 I, I guess is the best way to say it. So we made the decision that we were going to share his story when given an opportunity and, and make sure that, um, that yeah, people could be maybe inspired by his sacrifice. Um, so, you know, obviously we were open to any media interviews and my goodness, are they open to giving them, um, Geez, it was a, we didn’t turn down any media requests. Um, so we, we did interviews on radio, on TV, um, national, um, Fox News and CNN. We did it, uh, one of their broadcasts up. So we did, we did quite a bit of, of media. But then also little things, I mean, um, and, and some things that are just in the community, right? Like the school that we went to all, uh, there’s four of us boys. Um, and we all went to the same elementary school.
Chris 12:07 We terrorized all the same teachers and they remember every one of us. And, uh, but they, you know, they named the, the, um, the, the drive, they’re right in front of the road, right in front of the school. Uh, Sergeant David Weir boulevard, I think it was. And um, there’s a, uh, David T Weir day and, and there’s an annual, he played football in high school and at the high school they retired his number and they, they do an annual, um, now there’s an annual, award that one of the football players wins at the end of the year. Um, and it’s one of the big awards that they give away every single year. Um, uh, so in that, that’s all over the place. The veterans organizations have things that they do every, uh, Memorial Day. There’s, um, uh, a ceremony that’s done where they recognize David and, and so there’s just, there’s just so many things in the community, so many little things, and we just decided to let it happen and let people, um, you know, show their love and appreciation for what he did and, and hopefully let that be an example, you know, let the community be an example to the rest of the country.
Chris 13:22 You know, we lived up in Ohio, I share with you for a little bit, uh, up in Ohio. Um, and nothing like that happened. You know, again, not that anybody in Ohio is mad because they’re not, but they certainly didn’t go out of their way when they all service members and certainly not like, you know, to the seated. So, so we really wanted that to be, um, be something that happens. So, so, yeah. So that’s, um, into this day, those things continue to go on. They still have events and celebrations honoring my brother, I’m constantly getting asked to fly back to Tennessee for, for this little organization who’s doing this little event to to come and, and be the keynote or to pass the award out or whatever it is, you know, hand me the award out. And um, I think that’s awesome. I just, I love it.
Chris 14:09 I and keeps him alive, you know, for me anyway.
Scott 14:18 Yeah, that, that’s great. And it shows how, you know, what your, your intention was in terms of not letting his memory die and, and letting that live on shows how, you know, it really hasn’t died, you know, all these years later. Um, you know, he’s still in the memory of people, especially in your, your, your community there.
Chris 14:37 Well, you know what’s amazing, Scott is, is just this past year, there were a, the group of kids in elementary school at that time, right. And so I always remember those kids. Um, and we always talked about this is how whenever we would make presentations, cause even when I got into the military, I was constantly coming back again for all these events every single year. And I was able to involve my commander and my first sergeant got involved in, and we had, you know, I brought, you know, challenge coins and we brought some flags back from Iraq and, you know, all that kind of good stuff, um, to pass out.
Chris 15:09 And, and I always remember talking to everybody about the, the young boys eyes that were in fifth, sixth grade at that time and how they were so glued to what was happening in front of them, you know, and especially when they would show pictures of David, you know, and I mean, he was, he looked apart, man. I mean, he was a military guy, right? I look like a goober. He, he looked the part, he was absolutely the, the soldier soldier. And he was certainly gonna make a career out of it. But, um, you know, you could see the, you could see their eyes. And then just this past year, I remember some of those kids and I’m watching them ship off to basic joining all the, all the different branches. You know, there was, there was, uh, one of our little cousins went into the Hebrews, I know little anymore.
Chris 16:01 He’s bigger than I am, but, um, uh, went into the Air Force, you know, and uh, you know, others that are joining the Army and, and one, one of the marines. And even the friends that David had that some of them were, you know, just young kids, right? And they do what young kids do, which is basically nothing. And so they weren’t going to college, they weren’t doing anything. And these, these guys stepped up and they all joined and, and you know, you kind of hit the nail on the head a second ago, it’s just letting it, he keeps living on in so many different ways, not just the events and awards and all this, but in the lives of the people that he touched that are now going out and laying their life on the line for this country. And quite frankly, that’s what it’s about.
Scott 16:46 Absolutely. I mean, you know, I, I kind of wonder, you know, from your perspective, if you ever think about like how many of those kids are, well not kids anymore, obviously, right? How many of them joined because they saw you walk in, in and uniform, like, wow, I want to do that when I grow up. Or, you know, or, or the stories that they’ve heard about your brother or other things like that.
Chris 17:15 Like, you know, we, we joked about this amongst ourselves because it was actually kind of funny, but that year that my brother died on Halloween, you could not have found an army uniform in any of the Halloween store. All the kids wanted to be soldiers in that town. We’re talking about a town of 100,000 people. I mean, it’s not the, you know, it’s not a huge town by any stretch of the imagination.
Chris 17:39 It’s still small town, but not tiny. I mean, it’s a pretty good size community, you know. And you know, the day of his funeral, there were no flags anywhere. All the stores sold out of flags. The streets were lined for 30 something miles. Wow. I mean, literally 30 miles. We the, the, the route from the funeral home to the national cemetery there in Chattanooga was a 30 mile drive when we arrived in Chattanooga. The last cars were getting onto the interstate back in Cleveland. Oh Wow. I mean it was unbelievable. The Patriot Guard Riders were there the whole night. It was just, it was just an amazing event that I think everybody took something from I, it went so beyond our family. It was so much bigger than David. It was bigger than any of us and I truly believe he made a major, major impact on many, many, many lives and still does to this day.
Scott 18:44 Yeah. And it sounds like he definitely had that sort of impact on not just your family and in the community, but the whole surrounding area where people kind of see how, how that one sacrifice kind of brings people together. Like you were talking about before with the group, you know, coming into, you know, kind of protest his funeral and everything. Not even the taxi drivers would give them a ride. Yeah. That’s great.
Scott 19:11 I know, doesn’t it make you smile? Like I was like, it’s like you could help it. It’s like I don’t, I don’t want to see those people give any sort of how exactly. I don’t even sort of let the restaurant hilarious.
Chris 19:21 You should have seen the place the police had the roped off for them too. It, it was actually quite funny. It’s kind of marshy, swampy little area. They would have had a lot of fun there.
Scott 19:32 But the good thing, like you said, the Patriot Guard Riders where they were there would not have never seen them, never seen them. And that’s the thing. Those guys are awesome. By the way. There was, there were, there were rumors that those same people might have a, you know, come to to my brother’s funeral as well. And the Patriot Guard Riders were there and they were like, don’t worry about it.
Scott 19:53 They’re not lying. They meant business. So yeah, there’ll be taken care of. Absolutely. Don’t worry about it.
Chris 20:08 Absolutely never felt safer in my life. Exactly.
Scott 20:08 So let’s talk, if you will, a little bit about, um, sort of a, maybe the grieving process, if you will. And you know, I know you talked a little bit about how you kind of decided, you know, yeah, this is time to join the military and everything, but, but everyone goes through a little bit of, everyone has a different grieving process. Some people are locked themself in a room for days on end and you know, they cried themselves to sleep and all that stuff. Other people have different ways. And so let’s talk a little bit about like kind of how that looked for you and even kind of longterm, you know, did you go to any sort of counseling or anything like that or like what type of, uh, you know, things are happening with you?
Chris 20:56 So, you know, I’m generally not the type of person who looks back and says, I wish I would have done things differently. Um, but probably it would have been a little healthier for me if I would have stopped and grieved. Um, I allowed as being the family spokesperson, um, I allowed myself to get wrapped up in the mission of keeping his memory alive. Um, and that literally was almost a full time job. I mean, it, it’s quite amazing actually. And so I dove into that, you know, for the 30, 60 days there, um, after his death. Um, I just kind of drown myself in all of that. Coming out of that, jumped right into work, you know, and, and working on joining the military. Um, so I knew that I was going in, you know, so you got to get ready for them, especially when you’re, you’re in the type of shape that I was in. So, um, so yeah, I had had, had just kind of dove my, all my faults and all my energies and all my efforts into that. Um, it wasn’t until basic training. As a matter of fact, when we were out, um, uh, on the bayonet field and during the bayonet training, um, and how, for whatever reason, for me, that was just an intense training. Everybody experiences all the trainings differently. But that one was the hardest training for me because for whatever reason it clicked with me. There I am training to kill someone. You know? I mean, that’s literally what I’m being trained to do right now.
Scott 22:36 And with bayonet training, that’s, that’s up close and I’m going to reach out and touch somebody, 300 yards away.
Chris 22:53 Well, and it’s so intense because you’re sitting there, it’s a dummy of course. But yeah, but you’re literally sitting there with all, all the physical nature of like seriously attacking this dummy right in front of you. And obviously drill sergeants, yelling and screaming. It’s like everybody’s having a blast because it’s the funnest thing they’ve ever done. Yeah. And all I could sit there and think about was, you know, my brother going through this, you know, and how all of a sudden it was like, he was a very, very weird moment for me where it’s kind of like, it just clicked with me. Holy Crap, my brother was killed in this, you know, and now I’m doing this. Like, what the literal hell am I doing here? You know? And really and truly, I mean, I certainly shed plenty of tears during the whole ordeal, the funeral and all that kind of stuff. But I literally broke down and fell to my knees in basic training on the bayonet field and, uh, Drill Sergeant Gatewood.
Chris 23:50 I’ll never forget him. Greatest, greatest man I’ve ever met in my life. And they knew that cause I had challenge coins, general’s coins, and that other, you know, like none of these guys have any of these coins. I’m coming in as the fricking E-fuzzy, you know, and I’ve got, got my coins. And uh, so at first they didn’t like that until they learned, why I got them. But so he came over and um, really and truly was just talking that through and, and it was very strange because what ended up happening, even though my brother died when I was not in the military, my grieving took place while I was in the military. And you know, because you went through when you were in the military, how a service member grieves is very, very different than how a civilian is going to grieve. Right?
Chris 24:36 Even if it’s a family member, because you’ve got to think of it from a different perspective, right? You still have to accomplish missions. You still have to get your job done. Um, and that job is, is what just killed your brother. Right? I mean, so it’s, gosh, it’s so weird. God, it is the most weirdest situation thinking back on it many years later now. But, um, but it was, it was then, that’s, that’s when I started my grieving and, and I think through basic training, um, I remember graduating basic training and drill sergeants coming up to me, you know, and they’re like, you know, this was for David. Yeah. I mean it was like, Dang, man. I mean, this is really, really cool. So my grieving wasn’t, you know, I, I, you know, I didn’t, um, I don’t know. My process was just very different.
Chris 25:28 You know, I, like I said in the very beginning, I dove into just keeping his memory alive, but then during basic training, I was able to reflect a little bit. And, um, and that’s a weird time to be. It is. It is a very weird time to be reflective. Um, but, but it worked for me. It really worked well for me. I was able to really process it, um, put all of it into context and I really, after that I was good. Um, got to Iraq. My commander was, um, he was pretty awesome. And, and he got found the report of my brother’s death. He found it, um, and dug and got it and got the coordinates and asked me if I wanted to, to go where he had died. And of course we were down in Tallil so we were in southern Iraq.
Chris 26:19 David obviously died in Baghdad of a more north than we were. But, um, so I thought about it for a little bit. I am like, oh Geez, do I really want to do that? But then it kinda clicked with me. I’m going to be the only person in my entire family or community that will ever be able to see where David died. Cause none of my family’s ever going to get out. Right. Well I hope they don’t go. Not really good vacation spot. But, um, but that, that was kind of weird, right? I mean that was, that was, that was like an untouchable, that I wasn’t even thinking about that as a possibility to be able to actually go where he died and uh, but, but I decided to go, we took the trip up there and that is, I think where, I don’t know, I don’t want to call it closure because I, it’s not closed.
Chris 27:11 I think about David all the time. Um, again, we’re constantly doing things, um, in his name and there’s scholarships and they’re all this different stuff that’s out there, so he’s always front of mind. So I don’t think it was necessarily closure, but I think it was certainly the, the, the turning of the chapter that I needed, that it was like, okay, now I can move on. Yeah. That’s what I, for whatever reason, for me personally, odd as that may sound, that’s, that did it for me. And that’s where I was like, well, I’m moving forward now. That’s amazing to have that opportunity presented to you where many people would never have that opportunity. I got to imagine most a Gold Star Families have never had any opportunity, you know, presented to them to be able to go back to that location. Um, now thinking back at, you know, losing a loved one in some other way, uh, you know, car accidents or something like that, you might drive past the intersection or something.
Chris 28:21 And so you get that opportunity to be in that, that location. Um, in a way that might be hard, especially if you live in that area, you drive by it every day, but that first time you go there and you, you could probably have a similar peace with the situation moment. Well, you know, and you can piece it together in your mind a little bit too. And I think that’s part of the processes. Trying to get your head around what happened. You know, I, you know, when I was younger, um, my cousin, um, I lost him to a car wreck and um, he was my best friend. He was actually on his way to pick me up. And, and it was being able to go to that spot where he had his wreck. Did offer a little bit of of closure in that I understood what happened and I mean, you’re right.
Chris 29:09 How many, I mean, I, I can’t, I, I can’t imagine there’s very many at all Gold Star Families who’s ever had the opportunity to go back to where their loved one, you know, was killed. I mean, how do you even get that, that information as a civilian, right? I mean, cause that’s classified information so you couldn’t even get the coordinates to where it happened, you know, unless you had a, you know, a buddy that was there or whatever. But so it was a very special and a very unique opportunity. It’s that I, it was very, very hard. I’m not going to lie. It was very difficult, but I can look back at it now and I cherish that. I was able to do that. Um, because that’s really what I needed to move forward in my life.
Scott 30:00 And I bet now had you not chosen not to go, um, now looking back at it and you, Mike, I’d be so mad at myself and be like, Oh, why not?
Why don’t I just pull my head out of my know I would, I would be in a constant state of kicking my butt. So that’s good. I’m glad you had that opportunity to have that closure closure necessarily, but you know, close that chapter. Exactly mentioned. So anyways. Yeah. So is there any, anything else that you wanted to share about your brother or about your, uh, your service or anything like that that might, uh, potentially maybe help some other people or, um, you know, help people kind of find their own closure in their own way, in their own situations or anything like that that you want to share?
Chris 30:58 You know, I guess the one thing that I would, that I would go back to is, is as far as the, the, the family that’s left behind, I think so many times we, um, and rightly so. Um, we talked a lot about the service member, um, and their sacrifice and how, um, amazing of an individual to lay their life on the line for their country. I mean, how does it get any better? I mean, I’m not quite sure. It doesn’t get any better than that. Yeah. Cause I mean does it get any more patriotic? I’m not sure. But anyway, um, but what ends up happening, or at least what I found through our experience is that, um, obviously the military in all of its faults and it has plenty, um, caring about the Service members who’ve passed. They don’t drop the ball and they, they do a pretty freaking good job. They are very obviously trained and very respectful and the, the whole funeral process and they have the, you know, was kind of an assistant. The casualty assistance officer or whatever it’s called.
Chris 32:06 Um, they come in and, and uh, they stay there, you know, as long as they need to stay there. And, and I’m still in contact with ours today cause he was at Fort Campbell obviously. So I hung out with him when I went there. And so, um, even to this day, I still talk to that guy, but, um, I certainly saw everybody come out immediately after it happened and therefore, you know, a good 30, 60 days after it was front of everybody’s mind. And then life keeps happening for everybody and they go on about their business and it was literally like a light bulb switched off. You know, like somebody flipped a switch one day. It’s police escorts and security and community members stopping by and the next day it’s, Oh God, now what? Now what do we do? And so I think the one thing that I think about is, is especially with the wives and mothers and fathers and siblings that are, that are left behind, I would speak to the civilians in this respect and say, it’s still hurts in month six.
Chris 33:15 Don’t forget about them. Right? Check in on them. Make sure they’re doing okay too, because it still hurts. Sure you know it. It’s not better. It just because the funeral’s over, just because of the pomp and circumstance and ceremonies and all the recognition and all the media and all that kind of stuff is gone, doesn’t mean that it feels any better. As a matter of fact, quite frankly, once that stuff has gone, that’s when it starts sending in a little bit and you start probably feeling, or at least for our experience, started feeling more of it because we actually had time to realize what was the full scope of what was happening. So I would say to the civilian, certainly, um, don’t forget them, you know, 60, 90 days later, go back and keep checking on them. Don’t, if you truly removed by the sacrifice of the service member, then be moved enough to, to keep going back and helping the family, you know, because the family gets forgotten in this a lot.
Chris 34:12 I think unfortunately, um, the Gold Star family program is, is, is, you know, it’s cool. I mean, it’s great. I, it’s an honor to be a part of, obviously, um, it sucks to be a part of it, but it’s an honor to be a part of it. Um, only sucks because obviously I don’t have a brother. Cost of admission sucks. Um, but yeah, I would say certainly don’t forget the family members, um, that were left behind. Um, just, just stay with those guys, keep your arm around them. Um, they’re going to need help. Even after, um, all the news vans have driven away. I don’t even know if they do vans anymore. New trucks or whatever they are after they’ve driven away. There’s, there’s still needs. Everybody still needs those hugs, you know. Um, so I think that would be, that would be my big encouragement for those who lose someone.
Chris 35:10 Um, and then the broader, you know, for the service members who do come back right and aren’t lost is, you know, and I know that you have and probably will much more talking about this on your podcast, but the find help if you need it, man, if you’re struggling with anything at all, there are so many people who want to help. There’s just so many people dying to help you out. Um, go dude, it’s weak to not do it. It takes strength to go and do that. So, you know, you’ve been strong and everything else you just got through with the fricking deployment or whatever, you know, don’t fricking. Don’t, don’t, don’t go off and do something stupid. There’s plenty of people that want to talk to you. So for the service members that would just throw out that encouragement.
Scott 36:05 Absolutely. Yeah. I would definitely echo that. Same, yeah, same thing. All of that. Everything with the gold star families that you were talking about and, and all the way down to the, uh, you know, to the military who are coming back, you know. Absolutely. So let’s Kinda wrap it up with one last question here. Um, is there anything that you wish someone would have told you before you joined the military?
Chris 36:28 I was waiting for that question to come out. I knew there was coming, you know, of course, other than don’t listen to the recruiter. Um, uh, it’s all lies. It’s all lies. No, I’m just kidding here. So many recruiters who might be listening right now, they’re so pissed at me right now. Look, I love the recruiters. Ah, no, no, seriously. Um,
Chris 36:52 it’s not all lies. It’s not all lies. They’re just doing their job. So, uh, something that I wish I would have that somebody would’ve told me, um, when I was going in. Um, wow. Um,
Chris 37:12 I guess probably I had always kind of, what is the word I’m looking for it, if you’ve never been in the military some, and I was one of those, kind of set service members on a pedestal. Like they’re not quite normal people. They’re like superheroes, right? I mean, you kind of look at them in that respect. Absolutely. You know, and they’re so completely not right. Right. I mean, don’t get me wrong, that’s not a, that’s not a, a a hit on those guys. It isn’t. They are just like every other American. They just made the decision, what does a 2% or whatever, less than 2%. Um, they are of that small percentage that just made the decision that they’d be willing to lay their life down for their country, for people they’ve never, ever met before. Um, but they’re just normal everyday people like us. And so when I went in,
Chris 38:22 I was so surprised by that. I was expecting to be among gladiators. I mean, seriously, I’m like, okay, where’s the Iron Man? Where’s the, you know, yeah. I mean it’s like these guys are supposed to be up
Chris 38:34 and they’re great individuals that are just like, I was just not, which I think the overriding message is, you don’t have to be some big superhero character to join the military. You just have to have a passion for serving your country. And its people of every single walk of life, every ethnicity, every sex from every single corner of America. These guys and girls are coming in and they are super heroes because of that, that little decision but everybody could make that decision. So I wish somebody would’ve prepared me for that. Then I was going in amongst just some great people, just some regular regular Joes and Janes that made that decision. That’s it. It’s kind of interesting. Was cool.
Scott 39:39 All right. Well, thank you Chris for sharing your story and everything and I’m so happy that you were willing to come on the show and talk about everything and um, you know, hopefully this, this story can open up some eyes and, um, and if at the very least that it’s another way of keeping your, your brother’s memory alive and for that, I’m happy to have you to help. And for that, I’m appreciative. Right. Thank you.
Scott 39:54 Thanks for listening to the drive on podcasts. If you want to check out more episodes or learn more about the show, you can visit our website, drive on podcast.com we’re on Facebook, Twitter, and Instagram at drive on podcasts. ]]> 00:40:19 <![CDATA[A Military Spouse's Point of View on Parenting and Deployment]]> Tue, 30 Jul 2019 11:06:52 +0000 Scott DeLuzio https://drive-on-podcast.castos.com/podcasts/2296/episodes/episode-9-vicki-deluzio Episode 9: Vicki DeLuzioMy wife, Vicki DeLuzio talks to us about being a new mother while I was deployed and some of the struggles that came along with that.]]> full 9 false Episode 9: Vicki DeLuzioMy wife, Vicki DeLuzio talks to us about being a new mother while I was deployed and some of the struggles that came along with that.]]> 00:34:09 <![CDATA[Call for Guests]]> Tue, 23 Jul 2019 04:48:38 +0000 Scott DeLuzio https://drive-on-podcast.castos.com/podcasts/2296/episodes/episode-8-call-for-guests Call for guests is now open!

I’m looking for veterans, family members of veterans, and others who have something to share with our audience. You have your own unique experiences and we want to hear from you.

Visit https://driveonpodcast.com/guests/ for more information.

]]> full 8 false Call for guests is now open!

I’m looking for veterans, family members of veterans, and others who have something to share with our audience. You have your own unique experiences and we want to hear from you.

Visit https://driveonpodcast.com/guests/ for more information.

]]> 00:05:29 <![CDATA[Help Others By Helping Yourself]]> Tue, 16 Jul 2019 04:26:44 +0000 Scott DeLuzio https://drive-on-podcast.castos.com/podcasts/2296/episodes/episode-7-help-others-by-helping-yourself Think back to basic training when you learned combat lifesaving skills. Or maybe you learned this later on in your military career. I don’t know when everyone is first introduced to it, or even if all MOS’s are taught these skills. As an infantryman I know we had our first exposure to this medical training in basic training. We learned basic medical skills like how to use a tourniquet to stop bleeding, CPR, and other lifesaving skills that you might need on the battlefield.

When we deployed to Afghanistan each soldier was issued their own first aid kit with bandages, tourniquets, nasopharyngeal airway tubes, and other stuff like that. This essentially guaranteed that no soldier would have to wait for a medic to arrive in order for treatment to begin. Your buddy next to you could start treatment right away, because they had the same training you did.

We had the training and the equipment to treat some of the more common injuries a soldier would face on the battlefield. Anything from collapsed lungs, severed limbs, or severed arteries could be treated relatively quickly. I don’t have the statistics on this, but these basic medical steps I’m sure have saved numerous soldiers lives.

So we had the training and equipment to deal with these injuries. But from day 1 of this training, we are taught that security comes first. Think about it, if a soldier is shot out in the open, do you really want to run out and drag him back to safety? Well, of course you want to get your buddy out of harm’s way, but it’ll be a death sentence for you if you do without securing the area first.

You’re not going to be able to outrun the bullet that the sniper who just shot your buddy is going to be shooting in your direction.

So, security has to be a priority. Lay down some fire in the direction of the threat, call in air strikes, or if they’re close enough toss a grenade in their direction. Meanwhile, your friend is still laying there bleeding. It isn’t an easy thing to do. But you have to secure the area first. You have to do it quickly though, because your buddy doesn’t have all day to lay there with a gunshot wound, or whatever other injury they might have.

Gosh, this sounds cold doesn’t it? Just leave your buddy lying there while you worry about protecting yourself.

It’s not the only time we do things like this though.

Think about the last time you were on an airplane. Before takeoff, the flight attendant tells you that in the event of a drop in cabin pressure, oxygen masks will be deployed from the ceiling. They tell you to put your mask on first before helping others. Why?

When the cabin pressure drops suddenly, without a stable source of oxygen you’ll probably pass out pretty quickly. Let’s say you’re helping a child who is scared and starts to fight you putting on their mask. You struggle for a bit, and then boom, you pass out.

Now, not only don’t you have your oxygen mask on, the child doesn’t either. And forget about it if you’re traveling with more than one kid.

So they tell you to put your mask on first. That way you know you’re safe and can then help the child. Even if they do happen to pass out because their mask wasn’t put on quickly enough you’re still conscious enough to help them.

In other words, if you don’t help yourself first, you’ll become useless to the child.

In combat you’re not going to be much help to your injured buddy until all of the threats have been eliminated. So you help yourself first by eliminating that threat, but it also helps your buddy because you’re still around to help them once that threat is gone.

It doesn’t sound so cold anymore once you think about it this way.

We’re asked to help people all the time, aren’t we?

This is especially true around Christmas time – there are always people collecting money for one cause or another. The Salvation Army outside of grocery stores with their b...

]]> full 7 false Think back to basic training when you learned combat lifesaving skills. Or maybe you learned this later on in your military career. I don’t know when everyone is first introduced to it, or even if all MOS’s are taught these skills. As an infantryman I know we had our first exposure to this medical training in basic training. We learned basic medical skills like how to use a tourniquet to stop bleeding, CPR, and other lifesaving skills that you might need on the battlefield.

When we deployed to Afghanistan each soldier was issued their own first aid kit with bandages, tourniquets, nasopharyngeal airway tubes, and other stuff like that. This essentially guaranteed that no soldier would have to wait for a medic to arrive in order for treatment to begin. Your buddy next to you could start treatment right away, because they had the same training you did.

We had the training and the equipment to treat some of the more common injuries a soldier would face on the battlefield. Anything from collapsed lungs, severed limbs, or severed arteries could be treated relatively quickly. I don’t have the statistics on this, but these basic medical steps I’m sure have saved numerous soldiers lives.

So we had the training and equipment to deal with these injuries. But from day 1 of this training, we are taught that security comes first. Think about it, if a soldier is shot out in the open, do you really want to run out and drag him back to safety? Well, of course you want to get your buddy out of harm’s way, but it’ll be a death sentence for you if you do without securing the area first.

You’re not going to be able to outrun the bullet that the sniper who just shot your buddy is going to be shooting in your direction.

So, security has to be a priority. Lay down some fire in the direction of the threat, call in air strikes, or if they’re close enough toss a grenade in their direction. Meanwhile, your friend is still laying there bleeding. It isn’t an easy thing to do. But you have to secure the area first. You have to do it quickly though, because your buddy doesn’t have all day to lay there with a gunshot wound, or whatever other injury they might have.

Gosh, this sounds cold doesn’t it? Just leave your buddy lying there while you worry about protecting yourself.

It’s not the only time we do things like this though.

Think about the last time you were on an airplane. Before takeoff, the flight attendant tells you that in the event of a drop in cabin pressure, oxygen masks will be deployed from the ceiling. They tell you to put your mask on first before helping others. Why?

When the cabin pressure drops suddenly, without a stable source of oxygen you’ll probably pass out pretty quickly. Let’s say you’re helping a child who is scared and starts to fight you putting on their mask. You struggle for a bit, and then boom, you pass out.

Now, not only don’t you have your oxygen mask on, the child doesn’t either. And forget about it if you’re traveling with more than one kid.

So they tell you to put your mask on first. That way you know you’re safe and can then help the child. Even if they do happen to pass out because their mask wasn’t put on quickly enough you’re still conscious enough to help them.

In other words, if you don’t help yourself first, you’ll become useless to the child.

In combat you’re not going to be much help to your injured buddy until all of the threats have been eliminated. So you help yourself first by eliminating that threat, but it also helps your buddy because you’re still around to help them once that threat is gone.

It doesn’t sound so cold anymore once you think about it this way.

We’re asked to help people all the time, aren’t we?

This is especially true around Christmas time – there are always people collecting money for one cause or another. The Salvation Army outside of grocery stores with their bells and red buckets. We might get asked by a neighbor to help with something around the house or the neighborhood. Maybe our boss asks us to come in on our day off over and over again.

By themselves, helping in any of these situations isn’t a bad thing. Donating time or money to worthy causes is always a good thing. Helping out a neighbor is never a bad thing. Working a little extra to show your boss that you’re committed to the company may even help you get promoted faster, or get you a raise in addition to the overtime pay you might be getting.

Just like helping your buddy on the battlefield, or a kid on the airplane aren’t bad things by themselves.

But you have to take a step back and see if, by helping, you’re putting yourself in an unnecessary disadvantage, or an unnecessary bad situation.

For example, sure you could drop a few bucks in the Salvation Army bucket at Christmastime. Usually, it’s not a big deal financially. But what if you’re struggling to pay bills. Maybe someone in your family had an accident and medical bills are piling up. Now those few bucks are not really doing as much good in the Salvation Army bucket as they would be going towards your family’s medical bills. You might think it’s just a few dollars, which won’t pay the medical bills anyway, so you might as well help. But paying off those bills makes sure you and your family stays out of debt. Out of collections. And it makes sure that you have more money next year or the year after. So in this case, take care of you first. Help pay those medical bills before you drop money in the bucket. Now, I don’t mean buy yourself a new iPhone or whatever first. I’m talking about taking care of your needs first.

Maybe a neighbor is asking you to come over on the weekend to help fix a leaky sink or something. Some home repair project. If you have the ability to help out in that way, great go for it. Like donating money to that charity it isn’t a bad thing to help out here. But make sure that you don’t have your own home repairs that you’ll be neglecting in the meantime. Think about getting a call from your wife when you’re over fixing your neighbor’s leaky sink and having your wife tell you that the sink you were supposed to fix in your own house has now started to flood the kitchen.

What about your boss asking you to come into work on your day off? If you have nothing going on that day, maybe it won’t hurt to come in and get a few hours of overtime. It buys you some goodwill with the boss. If you help them out now, they’ll be more inclined to help you out when you need a day off down the road. But what if you already promised your kids you’d spend the day with them? You sort of have to weigh the goodwill you’ll gain with your boss with the opportunity to build a relationship with your kids. Or maybe you haven’t had a day off in months. You feel yourself starting to burn out. You know you need to take that day off. If you don’t, eventually you’ll get sloppy at work. Maybe that results in an injury, or poor performance. It could get yourself or someone else hurt. It could cause you to lose your job because you aren’t performing up to par. Again, you have to help yourself before you can help anyone else.

None of these scenarios are cut and dry unfortunately. There may be circumstances where you come out from behind cover to help your buddy on the battlefield. Maybe a friend is in a desperate financial situation, and while you might be a little tight on cash at the moment you can still afford to help out with a little money.

When my wife and I had our kids, we used to sleep in shifts. If the baby woke up during the first half of the night, it would be my wife’s job to get up and feed or change the baby. During the second half, it would be my job. If either one of us stayed up all night with the baby we wouldn’t be much use to the baby during the day, or the next night. Or any day or night afterwards if that trend continued. It was important to us that we helped ourselves as much as we helped our child. Put it another way, we had to help ourselves so that we could help our children.

It’s important to remember that we need to have the ability to help ourselves before we can help anyone else. If we can help with the resources available to us, in the situation that has been presented to us, in most cases we should help. If we need to take care of our own situation first before we can be in a position to help others, we should help others by helping ourselves first.

]]> 00:17:18 <![CDATA[Dealing With Pain]]> Tue, 09 Jul 2019 04:09:23 +0000 Scott DeLuzio https://drive-on-podcast.castos.com/podcasts/2296/episodes/episode-6-dealing-with-pain Dealing with pain, whether it’s from the loss of a loved one, a physical pain, or something else entirely can take it’s toll on us all.

In this episode, we dive into some of the benefits that pain can bring. It isn’t all bad, and when we make it through, we usually end up better on the other side.

Transcript

At one point or another we all deal with pain, with grief, with suffering of some sort. Maybe it’s a physical pain from an accident or disease. It could be an emotional pain from a loss of a loved one, a betrayal, or something different. Maybe for you there is a social injustice you’re facing. You might also feel pain in the form of empathy for others who are suffering. Mothers endure the pain of childbirth and athletes endure the pain of their training to compete at the best of their ability. So pain isn’t all bad.

One thing we need to remind ourselves is that the pain or suffering we’re going through helps to bring perspective to our lives.

Pain and suffering has a way of humbling us. What I don’t mean with the word “humble” is someone who thinks they suck, or is always down on themselves. Someone with no backbone. That’s not at all what I’m talking about. What I’m talking about is that we get taken down a notch when we’re in pain. 

I think being humble like this is a good thing. Being humble sometimes has a bad connotation associated with it. Like being too passive or insecure. But I think humble people are just the opposite. They’re confident enough in themselves that they let their actions speak for themselves. Humble people know their self-worth. They don’t feel the need to boast and brag about how great they are like their more prideful counterparts. Being humble doesn’t mean that they think less of themselves, rather it means that they think of themselves less. 

Humility tends to come with enhanced situational awareness where you might focus your attention on other people or things to learn more about what’s going on. You’re not constantly focused on yourself.

As a result, humble people tend to listen more than they speak. We’ve all been in a conversation where you can tell the other person isn’t listening, and is just waiting for you to take a breath so they can inject what they have on their mind. Why do they do this? They believe that what they have to say is more important, more valuable than listening to what you have to say. A more humble person is listening to what other people have to say before speaking. They try to understand other people’s perspectives without talking over people. A humble person realizes that there is more to learn from others.

In a way, being in pain pushes us to rely on others. Imagine you have this big prideful personality, and then all of a sudden you come walking into work on crutches. It takes the wind out of your sail a bit. You’re no longer this indestructible perfect person that you might have previously made yourself out to be. You’re maybe relying on someone else to help carry something into your office for you. After the loss of a loved one, we might realize that “yea, I need that shoulder to cry on”. Pain makes us realize that we can’t carry these burdens all on our own.

Pain and suffering causes us to shape our own belief systems. When something bad happens to us or someone we know we may question “why do bad things happen to good people?” A more religious person might question “why would God allow something like this to happen?” On the other hand we might forge a different perspective. We might ask instead, “what good can come of this?” Or the religious person could ask “how can God use this for good?”

I haven’t really talked about this on the podcast before, but my brother was KIA in Afghanistan in 2010. I don’t want to get too much into it now, but I’ll talk more about this in another episode. I remember on the night he was killed I was taking a shower so I was alone and asking God wh...

]]> full 6 false Dealing with pain, whether it’s from the loss of a loved one, a physical pain, or something else entirely can take it’s toll on us all.

In this episode, we dive into some of the benefits that pain can bring. It isn’t all bad, and when we make it through, we usually end up better on the other side.

Transcript

At one point or another we all deal with pain, with grief, with suffering of some sort. Maybe it’s a physical pain from an accident or disease. It could be an emotional pain from a loss of a loved one, a betrayal, or something different. Maybe for you there is a social injustice you’re facing. You might also feel pain in the form of empathy for others who are suffering. Mothers endure the pain of childbirth and athletes endure the pain of their training to compete at the best of their ability. So pain isn’t all bad.

One thing we need to remind ourselves is that the pain or suffering we’re going through helps to bring perspective to our lives.

Pain and suffering has a way of humbling us. What I don’t mean with the word “humble” is someone who thinks they suck, or is always down on themselves. Someone with no backbone. That’s not at all what I’m talking about. What I’m talking about is that we get taken down a notch when we’re in pain. 

I think being humble like this is a good thing. Being humble sometimes has a bad connotation associated with it. Like being too passive or insecure. But I think humble people are just the opposite. They’re confident enough in themselves that they let their actions speak for themselves. Humble people know their self-worth. They don’t feel the need to boast and brag about how great they are like their more prideful counterparts. Being humble doesn’t mean that they think less of themselves, rather it means that they think of themselves less. 

Humility tends to come with enhanced situational awareness where you might focus your attention on other people or things to learn more about what’s going on. You’re not constantly focused on yourself.

As a result, humble people tend to listen more than they speak. We’ve all been in a conversation where you can tell the other person isn’t listening, and is just waiting for you to take a breath so they can inject what they have on their mind. Why do they do this? They believe that what they have to say is more important, more valuable than listening to what you have to say. A more humble person is listening to what other people have to say before speaking. They try to understand other people’s perspectives without talking over people. A humble person realizes that there is more to learn from others.

In a way, being in pain pushes us to rely on others. Imagine you have this big prideful personality, and then all of a sudden you come walking into work on crutches. It takes the wind out of your sail a bit. You’re no longer this indestructible perfect person that you might have previously made yourself out to be. You’re maybe relying on someone else to help carry something into your office for you. After the loss of a loved one, we might realize that “yea, I need that shoulder to cry on”. Pain makes us realize that we can’t carry these burdens all on our own.

Pain and suffering causes us to shape our own belief systems. When something bad happens to us or someone we know we may question “why do bad things happen to good people?” A more religious person might question “why would God allow something like this to happen?” On the other hand we might forge a different perspective. We might ask instead, “what good can come of this?” Or the religious person could ask “how can God use this for good?”

I haven’t really talked about this on the podcast before, but my brother was KIA in Afghanistan in 2010. I don’t want to get too much into it now, but I’ll talk more about this in another episode. I remember on the night he was killed I was taking a shower so I was alone and asking God why he would take my brother, at age 25, so soon. He was going to get married when he got home, he had his whole life ahead of him. But then I realized that I couldn’t blame God for this. Maybe this was God’s way of doing something bigger and better. Maybe my brother’s death caused others to do good in ways that they previously wouldn’t have done. I don’t know for sure. I’ll never know. I do believe that everything happens for a reason. We may not ever know what those reasons are, but there is a reason, and I believe that the reason is always a good one, no matter how bad the current situation may seem.

This leads me to my next point. The testing of someone’s resolve produces perseverance. There was a time when I was in basic training. Most of the runs we went on we knew the distance ahead of time, but for some reason we didn’t for this one particular run. We started out and went a couple miles out, then turned around and started heading back the way we came. Now, this was early enough on that we had some guys who were sucking at this point. In their heads, that was the halfway point. By the time we got back to the barracks, they were spent, but the barracks represented the finish line to them. They were spent, but they kept going to that imaginary finish line. The problem though was that this wasn’t the finish line. We kept going right past the barracks. As soon as this realization set in, a lot of those guys fell out and quit the run. They couldn’t bring themselves to go even one step further. Of course, all of us assumed that the barracks was going to be the finish line, and I won’t lie, it was a bit of a mind game for all of us. But for those of use who stuck with the run, we developed a bit of perseverance. We drove through the pain – the physical pain from the run, and the mental pain from the unknown variable of how long this run was going to last – and it made us that much better for it.

By flexing this perseverance muscle, it developed our character or personality a bit. It made us go from the type of person who was calculating how long the run was based on that halfway point, to the type of person who doesn’t quit until the run, or the job is done.

As a soldier, this “never quit” attitude is important. Especially when missions change at a moments notice. A short meeting with local village elders could turn into an ambush that leaves you stranded without support for much longer than was originally expected. You can’t quit in the middle of a firefight just because you were expecting to be back on base already.

The pain and suffering we go through helps bring clarity to a situation. It helps give us direction to see what’s really important. But it’s all a decision we have to make. We have to decide whether to turn bitter in the situation, or to make things better. When my brother was killed, I could have become an angry and bitter person. And to be honest, I did become that person for a while. Eventually I realized that no amount of anger. No amount of hatred would bring him back. I realized that I could mask the pain by getting drunk every night, but I’d wake up the next morning and he’d still be dead. The only difference is I’d have a big ass headache.

Instead, I sought counseling. I talked through the anger and bitterness I had brewing inside of me. Eventually I was able to learn to make things better.

I’ve heard a lot of people over the years, both vets and civilians, who have tried to go to counseling and stopped for one reason or another. They’ll say that “it just didn’t work for them”. A lot of times, though, it might not be that counseling won’t work for them, just the individual counselor that they saw maybe wasn’t the right person for them. Maybe they’re not trained as grief counselors, or in PTSD issues, or whatever your situation might be. Or maybe they are, but they’re just not that good. I know I’ve been the victim of a bad haircut from time to time, but it doesn’t mean that I quit going to a barbershop or cutting my hair altogether. I just stopped going to that one particular barber until I found someone who can cut my hair well. It’s the same thing with counselors, or therapists, or psychologists, or whoever you happen to be seeing. 

We also live in an “on demand” society. We want our movies in our living room on Netflix right now. We want our online purchases delivered the same day or next day at the latest. We want to know what’s going on in the news seconds after the story happens instead of waiting for the 10 o’clock news. We want our emotional or physical pain to stop immediately after seeking help. Unfortunately it just doesn’t work that way. If you go to seek help for mental issues, give it time. Your brain is a complicated beast. If you broke your arm, would you rip the cast off after 2 days because your arm wasn’t healed yet? Of course not, because we all know that it can take weeks for a bone to set properly. If you’re seeking help for an emotional pain, give it time. I saw a counselor for nearly 2 years to get help with the issues I was experiencing. It wasn’t always easy, or fun to talk through these issues, but I’m a heck of a lot better off now than I was before.

]]> 00:20:27 <![CDATA[Veterans Succeeding as Entrepreneurs]]> Tue, 02 Jul 2019 11:04:16 +0000 Scott DeLuzio https://drive-on-podcast.castos.com/podcasts/2296/episodes/episode-5-veteran-entrepreneurs Veterans have a lot of skills and qualities that can make for a good entrepreneur. If you’re a veteran and struggling to find a job, you might want to consider the path of entrepreneurship. Running your own business isn’t for everyone – it can be a tough job with long hours and sometimes unpredictable income.…]]> full 5 false Veterans have a lot of skills and qualities that can make for a good entrepreneur. If you’re a veteran and struggling to find a job, you might want to consider the path of entrepreneurship. Running your own business isn’t for everyone – it can be a tough job with long hours and sometimes unpredictable income.…]]> 00:18:00 <![CDATA[Keeping Your Cool by Being Prepared]]> Tue, 25 Jun 2019 03:47:20 +0000 Scott DeLuzio https://drive-on-podcast.castos.com/podcasts/2296/episodes/episode-4-keeping-your-cool-by-being-prepared It’s easy to lose your cool when you aren’t expecting bad things to happen. When something happens unexpectedly, we often times find ourselves in a panic and a rush to make things right again. When we prepare for the worst we often times can avoid the bad situation, or at the very least can weather the storm better than if we didn’t prepare.

]]> full 4 false It’s easy to lose your cool when you aren’t expecting bad things to happen. When something happens unexpectedly, we often times find ourselves in a panic and a rush to make things right again. When we prepare for the worst we often times can avoid the bad situation, or at the very least can weather the storm better than if we didn’t prepare.

]]> 00:24:15 <![CDATA[Communication]]> Tue, 18 Jun 2019 04:00:37 +0000 Scott DeLuzio https://drive-on-podcast.castos.com/podcasts/2296/episodes/episode-3-communication From the episode:

It’s funny how we sometimes expect that other people will know exactly what we’re thinking. We also assume that we know exactly what other people are thinking.

Think about when you were in the military. Every aspect of a mission was communicated from the officers down to the lower enlisted. Everyone knew what the objective of the mission was. While you could probably get the mission done with just the higher ranking soldiers knowing the full plan, the lower enlisted soldiers would likely start making assumptions about what needed to be done to accomplish what they assumed was the overall objective.

The same goes for communication in other areas of your life. Talking with your spouse, kids, neighbors, friends, or co-workers all require the same degree of attention.

]]> 3 false From the episode:

It’s funny how we sometimes expect that other people will know exactly what we’re thinking. We also assume that we know exactly what other people are thinking.

Think about when you were in the military. Every aspect of a mission was communicated from the officers down to the lower enlisted. Everyone knew what the objective of the mission was. While you could probably get the mission done with just the higher ranking soldiers knowing the full plan, the lower enlisted soldiers would likely start making assumptions about what needed to be done to accomplish what they assumed was the overall objective.

The same goes for communication in other areas of your life. Talking with your spouse, kids, neighbors, friends, or co-workers all require the same degree of attention.

]]> 00:34:19 <![CDATA[Dealing With Civilian Pettiness]]> Tue, 11 Jun 2019 16:49:05 +0000 Scott DeLuzio https://drive-on-podcast.castos.com/podcasts/2296/episodes/episode-2-dealing-with-civilian-pettiness It seems like people complain about everything from getting a coffee order wrong to it being too hot or cold outside. While complaining about these things isn’t something new, it is something we often times see as an annoyance.

But what if we reframed our thinking? What if we looked at these complaints as if we’ve done our jobs right?

]]> full 2 false It seems like people complain about everything from getting a coffee order wrong to it being too hot or cold outside. While complaining about these things isn’t something new, it is something we often times see as an annoyance.

But what if we reframed our thinking? What if we looked at these complaints as if we’ve done our jobs right?

]]> 00:13:18 <![CDATA[Preparing For A Civilian Career]]> Tue, 11 Jun 2019 13:05:20 +0000 Scott DeLuzio https://drive-on-podcast.castos.com/podcasts/2296/episodes/episode-1-preparing-for-a-civilian-career When we get out of the military we aren’t always as prepared as we think we are for applying to a civilian job.

In this episode we talk about:

  • How to figure out what job you’d be good at.
  • Where to get the skills or qualifications you might need for a new career.
  • What employers are looking for in a potential employee.
  • How to narrow your focus in your job search rather than using a “shotgun” approach.
  • How to “talk up” your military experience. Even mundane things like paperwork and urinalysis testing can be spun in a positive manner.
  • When to start applying for jobs.
  • Where and how to network with potential peers and employers.
]]> full 1 false When we get out of the military we aren’t always as prepared as we think we are for applying to a civilian job.

In this episode we talk about:

  • How to figure out what job you’d be good at.
  • Where to get the skills or qualifications you might need for a new career.
  • What employers are looking for in a potential employee.
  • How to narrow your focus in your job search rather than using a “shotgun” approach.
  • How to “talk up” your military experience. Even mundane things like paperwork and urinalysis testing can be spun in a positive manner.
  • When to start applying for jobs.
  • Where and how to network with potential peers and employers.
]]> 00:31:31 <![CDATA[Intro to Drive On Podcast]]> Mon, 10 Jun 2019 14:01:50 +0000 Scott DeLuzio https://drive-on-podcast.castos.com/podcasts/2296/episodes/episode-0-intro-to-drive-on-podcast Welcome to Episode 0 of the Drive On Podcast! In this episode, I will introduce myself and the show, discuss the types of content we’ll cover on the show and who this podcast is for. There are so many different topics that veterans struggle with, and I want to help out with as many of them as I possibly can.

]]> full false Welcome to Episode 0 of the Drive On Podcast! In this episode, I will introduce myself and the show, discuss the types of content we’ll cover on the show and who this podcast is for. There are so many different topics that veterans struggle with, and I want to help out with as many of them as I possibly can.

]]> 00:01:47